All language subtitles for Bewitched S07E12 Samanthas Magic Potion

Morning, sweetheart.

Morning.

How do you feel?

I feel fine.

Have you got a
headache or something?

What makes you think
I have a headache?

Your head looks
like it's aching.

Cute.

But I feel fine.

Well, I, uh,

only asked because
it was after 4

when you got to bed last night.

I stayed up to work
out a new approach

to the campaign for
Harmon Savings and Loan.

And you found it?

I hope so.

I've struck out
three times in a row,

and I don't want to
be a four-time loser.

Well, you're just
in a little slump.

Sam, are you sure your mother

hasn't been fooling around?

Sweetheart, when
Mother fools around,

there is no question about it.

Now, you're just a
little tired and upset.

I'll fix breakfast.
You'll feel better.

I'm not upset and I'm
not tired and I feel fine.

If he's like this
when he's fine,

however do you endure
him when he's miserable?

Good morning, sweetheart.

Mother.

Good morning, Durwood.

Don't you ever knock?

Oh, sorry.

Never mind breakfast, Sam.

I just lost my appetite.

My, aren't we
touchy this morning?

Mother, may I ask
a simple question

and get an honest answer?

"Yes" to the first and
"maybe" to the second.

Please, make an all-out effort.

Have you been fooling
around with Darrin?

Great Hector's ghost,
what a revolting thought.

Endora, you have all the charm

of a hooded cobra.

Well, never mind that, Mother.

Just answer the question.

All right.

I have not been meddling
in what's-his-name's work.

Witch's honor.

Thank you, Mother.

There, your worries are over.

- That doesn't
mean - I won't start.

If my worries are over,

how come my
headache just got worse?

Good morning, Darrin.

I hope you feel
lucky this morning.

Larry, I have a feeling, uh,
we shouldn't trust my luck.

It hasn't been too good lately.

Now, there's no reason
for that attitude, Darrin.

I mean, just because you've
been consistently bombing out lately

doesn't mean it's
going to continue.

Why not?

Because if it
continues, you won't.

Mind if I take a look?

Be my guest.

Hm. Hm.

Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

I like it. It's cute,
but not too cute.

Original, but not too far-out.

And it gets the message
across without being obvious.

You really like it?

I'm sure I'll
think it's terrific.

When?

When the client loves it.

Yes?

Oh, send him in. Send him in.

It's Harmon. Now,
pull yourself together.

Let's have some
positive thinking.

Oh-ho, good to see
you, Mr. Harmon.

Come in. Come in. You
remember Darrin Stephens?

Of course I remember Stephens.

How are you, Mr. Harmon?

It's his last three ideas
I'm trying to forget.

Well, you know how
unpredictable creative people are.

And Stephens is one of

the most creative men
we have. Okay, okay.

Let's see what he's created
this time and let's be quick.

My time is money, you know.

Oh, we know. We know.

Show him what you have, Darrin.

He's got a great idea.

Let me be the judge of that.

Yes, of course.

Now, as you will see,
uh, this idea is adaptable

to all advertising media

and it is aimed at
the smaller investor.

What's that?

I-It's a grasshopper. You see...

Grasshopper?

I have the largest
investment firm in the country

and you give me a grasshopper?

Well, this idea
i-i-is in four parts,

each one dependent on the other.

Now, here you see a, uh,
grasshopper in a business suit

followed by a
hippie caterpillar.

Grasshopper? Caterpillar?

What do you think
I'm advertising,

a pest-control service?

Do you have reservations
about this idea, Mr. Harmon?

Uh, Mr. Harmon
hasn't seen it yet.

What else have you
got? A cockroach, maybe?

No.

A ladybug, carrying her
purse and also about...

Darrin, I don't think we're
reaching Mr. Harmon.

Mr. Harmon, if you'll
just hear me out.

I've heard and seen enough.

It's got the cutes
and it's too far-out.

Interesting. I was making
a similar comment earlier.

If you have nothing better to
offer, I have other business.

Uh, Mr. Harmon,

if you'll just give us a
little more time on this,

I'm sure we can
get the bugs out.

Uh, Mr. Harmon, I'll call
you at your hotel later. Wait...

You and your lousy ideas.

But you said you liked it.

I do. I do, but
the client doesn't.

Which brings me to an
interesting hypothesis.

What's that?

The problem is you.

Admittedly, it's a good idea

but you're projecting
such a lack of confidence

that the client would
hate it even if he loved it.

Larry, believe me,
Mr. Harmon's reaction

has nothing to do with
my lack of confidence.

No? What do you think it
is? Black magic, maybe?

Would you believe
me if I said yes?

Darrin, you're tired.

Why don't you
take a few days off

and we'll discuss it then?

Okay?

Sam?

Sam?

Oh, hi, sweetheart.

What are you doing
home so early?

Ask your mother.

Uh-oh. That's right.

Your mother's struck again.

I had a perfectly good
idea. Larry loved it.

And then I barely got started
when, zap, for no reason,

the client hated it.

Your mother is worse
than Typhoid Mary.

Okay, careful, sweetheart.

Careful, my foot.

Did you hear that, Mary?

I did. And I'm sure they
also heard it six blocks away.

Good.

Endora, I'm telling
you for the last time,

keep your hocus-pocus
out of my life.

Typical mortal behavior,

looking for a scapegoat

to blame for their own failures.

Uh, Mother, did you
put a spell on Darrin?

There's nothing I
could do to Durwood

that wouldn't be an improvement.

So it's perfectly obvious
I didn't do anything.

But you're tempting me.

Well, n-never mind.

But... But I... I
would appreciate it

if you'd leave us
alone for a while.

Like forever.

Darrin.

So long, Mary.

I've not only lost a daughter,

I've gained a bullhorn.

You...

Oh... Uh... Now... Now,
sweetheart, uh, relax.

It... It really isn't
fair to blame Mother.

Uh, somebody has
been horsing around.

But it could be Serena
or Uncle Arthur or Daddy...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.

Any one of a cast of thousands.

Okay. So the only
way to solve this

is to find out
what the spell is,

where it came from
and then deal with it.

Well, how do we do that?

I'll get Dr. Bombay and
he can give you a test

to find out what kind
of a spell you're under.

That's a big help.

Calling in one fraud
to substantiate another.

Darrin, look at it this way:

It's the only game in town.

Okay. Okay.

Calling all stations From
Hong Kong to Pompeii.

Come in if you read
me Dr. Bombay.

Dr. Bombay, here.

Never mind your pills
Forget your thermometer

Come on the run With
your trusty hexometer

His trusty what?

His hexom... Hexometer.

I invented this
remarkable machine

to detect the
presence of witchcraft

on or about a person.

No home should be without it.

Nothing.

And I don't appreciate
this emergency call.

I was about to tackle my nurse.

Tackle your nurse?

Naturally. You don't think
we'd play touch, do you?

That would be indecent.

Dr. Bombay, uh,
could you just tell us

about the witchcraft?

Very well. First of all,

I must hook him
up to the machine.

Sam, this isn't going
to prove anything

except what an idiot I
am for submitting to it.

Not your arm, my boy, your head.

Now, stand still,
sweetheart. It won't hurt.

What's happening?

All your hot air is
rising to the surface.

Mm-hm. It's clean.

Absolutely no exhaust emission,

as you can see.

My boy, you're
loaded with witchcraft.

But you said it was clean.

Perfectly.

Witchcraft exhaust is clean.

Mortal exhaust is dirty.

Terrific.

Dr. Bombay, uh,
could you tell us

who put the spell on Darrin?

Of course, my dear.

In a few moments,
the perpetrator

of this ghastly crime will
appear on my oscillator.

That's peculiar.

The metaphysical
atmospheric continuum

is strangely scrambled.

So I'm afraid I can't
tell you who, uh...

Who cast this spell.

B-But, doctor...
Precisely, "doctor."

I am not a mystic.

Call me if he gets violent.

And now I have to
get back to my nurse.

I think the next play
called for a pass.

Get it? "Nurse"? "Pass"?

Nothing.

He's gone, sweetheart.

That's the problem.
How can I be sure?

Now, don't you worry. I'll
get to the bottom of this.

In the meantime, I think
you ought to have a little drink

and relax.

I think I'll have a lot of
big drinks and collapse.

Darrin, you'll be
late for the office.

I'm not going to the
office today, Sam.

You better call Larry.

What will I tell him?

Tell him I've retired.

If that's a joke,
I don't get it.

Sam...

I have an announcement
to make: I give up.

I am tired of bucking
all this witchcraft.

No matter how hard I try,

someone in your
family fouls things up.

Darrin, what would
you say if I told you

that I contacted all my
relatives and they're innocent?

I got a witch's honor
from all of them.

And Dr. Bombay confessed
that his hexometer is out of whack.

I would say that we already
know Bombay is a quack

and the credibility gap
between honor and your relatives

could be measured
in light-years.

Darrin, you're overreacting.

What's wrong with retiring?

You can zap us up
a... A castle in Spain,

a... A villa in Rome, a
chateau in the south of France.

Uh... Oh, we'll need a yacht.

Uh, nothing flashy, not too big.

Uh, somewhere between
the, uh, Queen Mary

and the Enterprise.

This is crazy. You
can't give up your career.

We are my career from
now on, you and me.

We'll spend all our
time doing the things

we wouldn't normally be
able to do for 20 years, if ever.

Well, sweetheart, I... I don't
blame you for being upset.

After what you've been through,
you had a perfect right to...

Don't try to spare my feelings.

If there's one
thing I can't stand,

it's someone
feeling sorry for me.

Especially when you're doing
such a good job of it yourself.

You'll get used to it.

And zap up some
breakfast. I'm starving.

Sweetheart?

Where's my breakfast?

Well, your breakfast
can wait a minute.

What I have to say
is more important.

Sam, I don't care to
hear any more arguments.

I give in. From
now on, I'm retired.

We live by witchcraft.

No arguments. I agree
with you completely.

Almost.

Almost?

Except for one thing.

Except for the witchcraft.

Mm-mm. Except
for the retirement.

Now, come on, Sam. I... I
said no more arguments.

Who's arguing? I'm
agreeing with you,

but I think you should
continue working.

With your know-how
and my witchcraft

there is no end to the
heights you could reach.

Before you know
it, Stephens & Tate

will be the largest advertising
agency in the world.

Maybe the only one.

Why go to all that trouble?

Oh, come on. Try
it just for today.

See what fun it is.

Uh, l-like, I could whip
up a little witchcraft

and you could take that
same concept back to Harmon

and he'd buy it just like that.

Yeah?

Yeah, it would be fun to
see the look on Larry's face.

You do have a lot of faith in
that savings-and-loan concept,

don't you?

Absolutely.

Okay.

Now, all you have to do...

is drink this.

Then you... You
say the following:

Pinchly, finchly Potsy, rex

Quiddily quaddily
Beware this hex

And then?

There's a moment of discomfort.

What's that?

You turn purple.

Oh, well, it only
lasts a second.

And then?

You become master
of any situation.

Well, okay.

Chow.

Tastes like orange juice.

Comes in all flavors.

Yeah?

And now what do I say?

Oh, um, Pinchly,
finchly Potsy, rex

Quiddily quaddily
Beware this hex

Pinchly, finchly...
Potsy ...Potsy, rex

Quiddily quaddily
Beware this hex

Oh, I... I forgot. You have
to turn around three times.

Oh.

One.

Two.

Three.

It's working.

Well, what'd you
expect? I'm a witch.

There. You're all set.

I don't know what's
the matter with me.

I should have swung
with this a long time ago.

Well, I'm on my way.
Wish me luck, Sam.

Luck has nothing
to do with it anymore.

It's a sure thing.

You're right.

This is going to be fun.

Mwah.

Ooh.

Come in.

Darrin, what are you doing here?

I thought I told you to
rest up for a few days.

I'm all rested and ready
to tackle Harmon again.

I am sure I can sell him
this presentation now.

The same presentation?

That's right.

Go home. You need more rest.

Larry, in your mind

the Harmon account
is down the drain, right?

Right.

Then what have we got to lose?

But the same presentation?
Harmon hated it.

Harmon didn't even hear it.

But today he'll listen.

What makes you think so?

Well, I... I wasn't
myself yesterday.

But things are different now.

Things are different?

Well, just take my word for it.

Make another date with
Harmon and he's in the bag.

I'll be waiting in my office.

Bugs? Again?

What's he got, a fetish?

Mr. Harmon, you're
considering hiring this agency

to handle your advertising

because we're
specialists in the field.

So just sit there and listen

to what this
specialist has to say.

I think I'm listening to
a first-class fruitcake.

Darrin, I don't think we
should waste any more

of Mr. Harmon's valuable time.

Larry, you may stay and
listen only if you promise

not to interrupt again.

Now just a mo...
Ah... Please, sit down.

I'm warning both of you

that these interruptions
are beginning

to make me very impatient.

Stephens has been sick.

Very unusual virus.

Oh, really?

Must have picked
up some kind of bug.

Virus.

Now, the, uh, grasshopper,
the caterpillar and the ladybug

represent the smaller
investors marching

into Harmon Savings and Loan.

Please, Stephens,

I don't think of my
investors as bugs.

Darrin, I don't think that...

Mr. Tate, will you
please be quiet?

Now, these small investors...

Please, Stephens, they're bugs.

Bugs are bugs.

That is the last
interruption I will tolerate.

Now, just sit there and listen

and in a moment,
something will hit you

and you'll love it.

To repeat...

they represent the
smaller investors marching

into Harmon Savings and Loan.

And the slogan for
this campaign will be:

"At Harmon Savings and Loan,

"there are no small investors.

They're as big as you
are, whoever you are."

Are you finished?

Yes.

All right, then.

Let's break up this
meeting, Darrin,

so you can get home and
start a year's sick leave.

Please, Mr. Stephens,
may I say something now?

Of course.

"At Harmon Savings and Loan,

"there are no small investors.

They're as big as you
are, whoever you are."

It rings a bell. I like it.

Darrin, get the phone.

Phone?

It must have been.

I heard that bell ringing too.

It's an inspiration, my boy.

Stephens...

I've never seen an idea
presented with more confidence.

I'm impressed.

It's your kind of enthusiasm

that makes ours a great country.

Mr. Harmon, this is
going to be great for you.

The grasshopper, the
caterpillar and the ladybug

represent the little people.

You see... I get it, Tate.

You don't have
to explain it to me.

Besides, at Harmon
Savings and Loan,

there are no little people.

They're as big as you
are, whoever you are.

Right, Stephens?

Right, Harmon.

Let's see those
little fellows again.

Yeah.

Ah!

Hi, sweetheart.

How'd it go?

Oh, it went great.

I mean, why shouldn't it?

It was a foregone conclusion.

Well, that calls
for a celebration.

Why is it I don't
feel like celebrating?

I don't know. Why is it?

All the way home I was asking
myself the same question.

I mean, I'm not
sure I like not having

to worry about anything.

It isn't much fun knowing

how everything is
going to turn out, is it?

Well, there is
something to be said

for worrying about where
your next meal is coming from.

Gives you a chance
to work up an appetite.

Sam, could you kind
of back up time, like,

to before we made this
witchcraft deal today?

I'd like to reconsider.

I, um... It isn't necessary.

Oh, yes, it is, because...

What do you mean,
it isn't necessary?

Uh... Well, the way
you're feeling now,

I guess you won't mind.

I hope you won't mind.

Are you gonna mind?

Come on. Come on.

Out with it.

O-o-okay.

Witchcraft had nothing to do

with what happened in
your meeting this afternoon.

Are you trying
to tell me that...?

That that purple
routine was just...?

Was just a way of helping
you regain your confidence.

You didn't believe me
this morning when I told you

there wasn't a spell
on you, but it was true.

Wait a minute.

That means I was
in an ordinary slump,

and I did use
witchcraft as an excuse.

It takes you a while, Dobbin,

but you finally
have the picture.

And I went to that
meeting thinking...

Sam, that was a
terrible chance to take.

I wasn't taking any chances.

You told me your
idea was a good one.

Just because the
client is difficult

to convince doesn't
mean the idea will fail.

You said that yourself.

Yeah.

I did say that, didn't I?

On the other hand,
it probably will.

Stop paying attention to her

and start paying
attention to me.