All language subtitles for Bewitched S05E19 Samantha, the Sculptress

Hi, honey. Hi!

How's everything? Everything
is hungry. What's for dinner?

Your favorite... Irish stew.

Mmm, great. Where's Tabitha?

Your mother brought her some
modeling clay this afternoon.

She's upstairs
testing her creativity.

I'll go take a look.

Hi, little octo-fish.

Your name is
going to be Cynthia.

Hi, Tabitha.

Hi, Daddy. I'm
playing with my clay.

I think that's wonderful.

Where, uh, did that come from?

Cynthia came from my clay.

Um, how did, uh, Cynthia
come from your clay?

I looked at the
toys on my shelf,

and I took clay
and I went like this.

Hi, Country Cousin. Say
hello to Cynthia Octo-fish.

Samantha!

You're a good yeller, Daddy.

Samantha!

Samantha! Sam!

Sam! Tabitha is upstairs...

Aah! Don't tell
me. Let me guess.

Tabitha is doing what comes
naturally. Let me put it this way.

If Ed Sullivan ever caught our
daughter's act, he'd book her forever.

Well, sweetheart, you
can't really blame her.

I mean, after all, she is a...

I'm well aware of what she is.

But the fact remains, she's got to be
taught to do things in the mortal way.

Y-You're right, sweetheart.

If she knew how to use her hands,
she wouldn't be tempted to use witchcraft.

I agree, sweetheart.

That's how I feel about it, and
I want something to be done.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll learn how to sculpt, and then I
can teach Tabitha the mortal way.

That's a good idea, Sam.

Darrin, what are you doing?

Eating a daisy.

Shall I mention that that's
just a teeny bit ridiculous?

I admit it's ridiculous,
but I can't help myself.

I think I'd better follow
the bouncing ball.

"I've heard enough
about the clay,

"and Durwood
pushing the mortal way.

"I'll be watching
as he grows wide...

"with flowers piling up inside.

Love, Mother."

Now, that's what I call a
meddling mother-in-law.

Mother, you come here
right away and de-spell Darrin.

Your joke is in very poor taste.

No pun intended.

Mother! You come
here this instant!

Well, well, well.

It looks like Durwood is
rehearsing to be a snail.

Well, well, well. It's the
queen of the sick jokes.

Darrin!

Mother, I know how you feel.

But don't you think you've
gone a little bit too far?

Not at all. I could have given
him an appetite for rubber ducks.

She does have a
point there, Darrin.

I'd give you an argument if I
weren't dying for a bouquet of zinnias.

What's his name is forcing my
granddaughter to use her hands...

when she has the
world at her nose.

I won't abide that, Samantha.

De-spell him, Mother.

Oh, very well.

Samantha, your
sense of values...

is becoming extremely polluted.

And don't come back!

Careful, sweetheart.

Um, how about some Irish stew?

No, thanks, honey.

Your mother, the wicked
witch, has spoiled my appetite.

Yes?

Mr. Waldon R.
Campbell is here, sir.

Oh, send him in. Send him in.

Mr. Campbell, good to see you.

Ah, yes. Stephens.
Stephens. Mr. Campbell.

Tate, nice-looking
receptionist you got out there.

I like the way her
chips are stacked.

Well, if you fellas
are anything like me,

you'll wanna get
down to business.

Right? Fine.

We thought we'd start
with these layouts...

♪♪

Medicine. Keeps the blood thin
and running nicely through the veins.

Like my old Uncle
Clyde used to say,

never discuss
business before lunch.

Well, we do have a standing 12:30
reservation at the Golden Spoon.

Well, meantime, no sense letting
the old blood thicken up on us, huh?

Thank you.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Needs a little something.

Oh, yes!

"Don't be timid.

Push it. Work with it.
Get to know your clay."

Hi, clay. I'm supposed
to get to know you.

Samantha! What are you doing?

I'm sculpting, mortal-style.

Oh, how repulsive.

That's like Picasso
painting with his feet.

It's going to be
a bust of Darrin.

A bust of Durwood?

He's already a bust.

Mother, you're a laugh riot.

All right, gentlemen, let's
get down to business, huh?

Now, Campbell Sporting Goods is
very much in need of an image change,

and I think McMann and Tate
is just the firm that can do it.

Now, let's hear it. How do you think
you can help my company's public image?

Mr. Campaign, our campbell...

Don't we think somebody
ought to order lunch?

Good idea. Let's run it up the
flagpole and see if anybody salutes.

You guys have already had 10 or 12
olives. That's enough lunch for anybody.

Let's get down to business, huh?

I want to hear the
entire campaign concept.

- Now, how does it go?
- I'm not sure.

Larry, sing a few bars.

Boy, 10 or 12 martinis
and you guys are wiped out.

What has happened
to the men of America?

I think we're going downhill.

I think it's too late for lunch.
We'd better get back to the office.

Right. Right. Good thinking.

Okay, okay. Go ahead.

Now, look, it's 4:00.

I'll meet you back here at 6:00
for cocktails. I'll be right here.

- Cocktails?
- Why don't we make it dinner?

At Darrin's place.

At my place?

That's very gracious
of you, Darrin.

Whew.

Sam! Hello!

- Hi, sweetheart.
- Hi!

Did I call you about
dinner tonight?

- No.
- I didn't think so.

Well, I should have,

because Larry and a very important
client are coming over to dinner tonight.

- I couldn't get out of it.
- Your eyes are pink.

Make that red.

Honey, I had a very
liquid afternoon...

with Mr. W.R. Campbell.

He's the first 90-proof
client we've ever had.

Honey, do you mind pulling
together dinner for two more?

I have an hour or
so, so I-I can manage.

As long as you're
slightly anesthetized,

this may be a good time
to show you my artwork.

Boy, I really need a nap.

Mmm. Yes. Well, come on.

There.

Nice.

It's got a lot of, um,

texture!

You know who it is?

It's, um, uh... It's you.

That's me?

Well, i-i-it's sort of an
impressionistic work.

Sort of.

- You hate it.
- Well...

Don't let it bother
you, Samantha.

He wouldn't know a
Rodin from a hot rock.

Speaking of rocks, how's chances
of you climbing back under yours?

How would you like to be a
carrot growing in a field of rabbits?

Darrin, now, please.
Stop it, both of you.

What can you expect
from a crotchety old bat...

who learned to read from
the Dead Sea Scrolls?

Aah! Hold on!

Talk about my age, will he?

One of these days, Samantha,

you're going to find yourself
married to a 170-pound warthog.

Now, Mother, he
didn't really mean it.

He's just, um, tired.

He's tired, all right.

You'll excuse me.

I have to get started on dinner.

Be good.

Sam!

Sam!

I'm coming, sweetheart.

What is it, Darrin?

Oh, my stars!

No! Oh, your mother!

It seems there's been a
sudden improvement here.

Well, you know what a
perfectionist Mother is.

That's not the
word I have for her.

- I'm getting rid of this.
- Out!

You clown!

That's all we need
around here tonight...

A talking statue!

I hate to tell you this, but
your mother is not only a witch,

she's warped!

How utterly, utterly
charming of you.

Endora, may I make
a respectful request?

Butt out!

Darrin, Darrin...

Um, Mother, this
happens to be...

a very important
evening for Darrin.

I couldn't care less
about the importance...

Samantha dear, is
that coq au vin I smell?

Yes, as a matter of fact, it is.

How thoughtful of you to
prepare my favorite dish.

When do we dine?

We eat at 7:30!

You take your broom to a drive-in
or something! You're not invited!

- Darrin!
- That's all right, Samantha.

If this is the way Durwood thinks
a mother-in-law should be treated,

he's in for a very
interesting evening.

That must be Larry.

Let's not torture ourselves with a
lot of good-byes, shall we, Endora?

Very well.

Boy, am I asking for it.

Darrin.

I think this is just
the beginning...

of a very long evening.

Stay with me.

Come on.

Oh-ho-ho, boy, what a headache!

It's a good thing Louise wasn't home to
see me pass out under the coffee table.

Darrin made it all
the way upstairs.

Oh. Oh, hi, Endora!

Larry Tate.

It's always nice to see
you, Endora. Thank you.

I didn't know your mother-in-law
was going to join us. Neither did I.

Mother just pops
in from time to time.

Yes, I'm supposed to
be in Paris in 20 minutes.

But it's going to be a little
difficult fighting those headwinds.

Now, there's a sense of humor.

Darrin, that's a
fantastic likeness of you.

Oh, it isn't that good.

You mean, you did this, Sam?

Samantha just started
sculpting this morning.

You mean you
finished this in one day?

Well, uh...

If she wanted to, she could
whip one up just like that.

How about a drink? Fine.

Uh, Sam, when you get a couple of moments,
do you think you could do one of me?

Oh, I don't... Of
course she will.

As a matter of fact, she might have
a little surprise around here for you.

Mother.

I can't get over this.

Where'd your mother go?

Well, uh, I guess
she went to Paris.

I'll get that.

I'll get you a
drink, sweetheart.

Sam, I had no idea
you had so much talent.

- I'm glad you made it,
Mr. Campbell!
- Yeah, thanks.

Ah! Mr. Campbell.

Mr. Campbell, this
is my wife, Samantha.

How do you do? I'm
sorry I'm a little late.

I had to attend a ribbon-cutting
ceremony. Friend of mine opened a bar.

Well, then I don't suppose you'd
care for a drink, Mr. Campbell.

Oh, that's right, Mrs. Stephens.

Three or four, yes. One? Never.

I'll get it. Uh, them.

You can put 'em all in one
glass, all four of 'em. Right.

Well!

Uh, wh-why don't we all
go and sit down to dinner?

Oh, before we do, I want
Mr. Campbell to see this.

Samantha did this bust
of Darrin in one day.

Now, that's a chrome-plated gas.

Where's the boy with the sauce?

Pardon me.

I hope everybody's
hungry. Dinner's ready.

No hassle, little lady. We'll
just take the spirits to the table.

It'll help break up
all that chewing.

Let's just see if we can't add a dash
more interest to Durwood's evening.

We'll have our brandy in the
den. All right, Mr. Campbell?

As long as it's brandy, we'll
have it anyplace you choose.

Darrin! Look!

This is the surprise
Endora was talking about.

Sam!

I never realized I had such a
beautifully shaped head. Thanks, Sam.

Ohh!

You little dickens!

Oh, i-it was sort
of a party favor.

Mother helped. Again.

Oh, yes. It's amazing how much help
we get around here from Sam's mother.

I would have done one of Mr. Campbell,
but I didn't know what he looked like.

Sweetheart, can I see you
in the kitchen for a minute?

Uh, I'll watch that for you.

Oh. Thank you.

Honey.

You know something, Campbell?

This thing looks
like it could talk.

How do you do?

How about a shot of that brandy?

Right. Right.

Mother?

Mother?

Darrin's willing to apologize.

Mother?

Maybe I'd better go see what's
happening in the other room.

You keep trying.

I think I'll put me
where the light's better.

Easy does it, fella.

Darrin, got this statue
wired for sound, huh?

Why? Did you hear something?

Yeah, why? Did
you hear something?

Can't you guys take a joke?

Why don't we have our
brandy in the den? Yeah.

Why don't we have our
brandy in the den. Mr. Campbell.

I think it's very impolite of them to
leave you out of that meeting, gentlemen.

Gentlemen.

I, uh... Sam made a set
of those for each room.

Larry, why don't you
put that right there?

Sit down, Mr. Campbell.

Larry.

Can I freshen your... Ehh.

Not me. Lar?

Uh... Oh. Well...

Now, I think we can bring
W.R. Campbell Sporting Goods...

into every home in America.

Here's the number one
art layout we had in mind.

Mr. Campbell?
Yeah... Good! Good!

Thank you.

Now, here we see the
impact of sports on the youth.

Campbell Sports, of course.

You oughta see an allergist.

Lifelike, aren't they?

Uh, Larry, would you
like a little spot of, uh...

No! Uh, no, thank you.

Oh.

Now, here's the layout we'd
use for use in trade magazines...

to open up new avenues in
the direction of sales to colleges,

pro football teams,
et cetera, et cetera.

Mr. Campbell? Fine!

Mother, Darrin's
suffered enough!

Ohh! Mother!

One of these days... pow!

Here we see every item
in W.R. Campbell's line.

Which will wear out
at the drop of a hat.

You couldn't have said
what I thought you said.

No, no. He couldn't
have said that.

It's all a mirage
brought on by the booze.

Uh, Mr. Campbell,
you don't hear a mirage.

You see a mirage.

I am seeing and hearing, both.

Those two lumps
of rock are talking.

- Do you know
what he's talking about?
- Nope.

They're not talking, huh?

Okay.

Darrin?

Mr. Campbell, let's try to stay
with the business at hand, shall we?

Now, if you'll just let me
show you this next layout,

I'm sure that we can convince you that
McMann and Tate are the logical choice...

to bring to your company
exactly what you need.

Speaking of that, why don't
you bring me a salami sandwich?

Me too. Heavy on the mayo.

That does it! No more business
talk! I'm gettin' out of here!

What about the account? You got it,
son. Just give me something to sign.

I've got a contract here.

Now, let's have a drink
to this. Oh, never again!

Boy, when you go from pink
elephants to talking rocks,

it's time to quit.

How do you spell "Campbell"?

Right here, sir.

Sam! Sam,
Mr. Campbell's leaving.

And we made our deal.

Good night, Mr. Campbell.

Good night, Mrs. Stephens. This has
been the weirdest evening I've ever had.

Come on, Tate. Would
you mind pouring me home?

Glad to. Good night, Sam,
Darrin. Good night, Larry.

We'll be talking to you in
the morning, Mr. Campbell.

Afternoon. Fine.

Oh, congratulations.

Was someone looking for me?

Now she shows up!

Mother, I know you think you
made a shambles of this evening,

but it turned out just fine.

Mr. Campbell signed the contract,
and Darrin has the account.

As a matter of fact, if
it hadn't been for you,

we may not have
gotten the account at all.

Worth a couple of
million in billings.

You certainly know
how to disgust a person.

Well, well, just another run-of-the-mill
day in the life of the Stephenses.

Hey! How 'bout that
salami sandwich?

Heavy on the mayo!

Mother! Mother dear!

I think you forgot something.

Mother, come back here!

Oh, good grief.