All language subtitles for Bewitched S05E17 One Touch of Midas

Oops.

This dress is gonna be
very pretty on you, Tabitha.

It doesn't look like a dress.
That's because it isn't finished yet.

Will it be a dress before
Daddy comes home?

Uh... Well, no. You see,
first you have to cut it out,

and then you pin it together
and then put it on to see if it fits.

- Then is it a dress?
- Well, almost.

It takes a long time,
and it's hard work.

I know how to do
it quick. Uh, no.

Now, Tabitha, you know Daddy
doesn't want us to use witchcraft.

Silly Mommy!

Good grief. You
sound just like Mother.

Honey, I'm home!

Daddy, guess what Mommy's doing.

She's making a
dress all by herself.

She isn't even
going to the store.

I know, I know.

And it's coming along just fine.

My wife, the dressmaker.

Sam, I'm proud of you.
Mmm. Thank you, sweetheart.

Tabitha, you better run along
upstairs and start getting ready for bed.

Okay? Okay, Mommy.

Thought I forgot, didn't
you? Forgot what?

Happy sixth anniversary
of our first date.

I knew you'd remember.

Oh, Darrin!

It's lovely.

♪♪

"Come Back to Sorrento."

Oh, sweetheart, it's beautiful.

And we're going to
celebrate at Sorrento's tonight.

I called Marcello, and
he's holding a table for us.

Mmm. What a surprise.

And just in case
you surprised me,

I, uh, asked Mother
to sit with Tabitha.

On second thought, I'll send
out for a couple of pizzas.

Sweetheart, don't
press your luck.

I'll start getting ready.

♪♪

Oh! Something new
from the big spender?

Oh, Mother. Must you eavesdrop?

Well, someone has to look
after my daughter's interests.

Look at you, making
Tabitha's clothes.

Samantha, you've been reduced
to a slave in Durwood's sweatshop.

Mother, please. Well, all right.

Obviously, you're just too starry-eyed
to realize what's happening to you.

I have everything I want.

But when I think of the
luxuries that you've given up...

Mother. What?

You give up.

I'm going upstairs
and get ready.

Miss, uh... Miss Wilson? Yes?

I would like to, uh, see
Mr. Darrin Stephens, please.

- Do you have an appointment?
- No, no.

People don't make
appointments with, uh... crackpots.

You're a crackpot?

No, no, but people
usually think I am.

Uh, what'd you want to
see Mr. Stephens about?

Ah.

Isn't he cute?

I would like to talk
to Mr. Stephens...

about helping me
market the little fellow.

It's amazing.

He kind of gives you
a feeling of well-being.

Well, you've heard of the hula hoop,
Silly Putty, the drinking bird, Frisbee...

and now... the Fuzz.

I've got a hunch this
little fella could catch on.

Oh, believe me, he will.

Excuse me, uh, Mr... Professor.

Professor Mac Allister.
Excuse me, Professor.

I'll see if Mr. Stephens can
squeeze in a few moments for you.

Yes?

Are ya terribly
busy, Mr. Stephens?

Yes, but what is
it, Miss Wilson?

I know it's part of my job
to brush off all the oddballs,

but there's a gentleman
outside I think you ought to see.

You recommend this oddball?

Mr. Stephens, do I
bother you very often?

Okay, send him in.

Mr. Stephens, this is
Professor Mac Allister.

How do you do? Very good of
you to see me, Mr. Stephens.

Um, I, uh, have
created a little doll.

May I show it to you? Of course.

Isn't it just darling?

I call it... the Fuzz.

And it... Well, I don't know. It
kind of makes you feel good.

Yeah, it does.

I modestly think there's
something about this

that will make everybody
want to have one.

I agree, Professor.
What can I do to help?

Well, if you'll supply the creative
merchandising necessary to sell them,

I'll supply the dolls,
and we'll split 50-50.

But, uh, why me?

Oh, Mr. Stephens. It's no
secret along Madison Avenue...

that you are a very
successful advertising man.

You have connections.

Possibly you could place the doll in
one of the local department stores...

just to see if it catches on.

How much do these
dolls cost to make?

Practically nothing.

That is, if it's
sold for a dollar,

we'd each make a quarter and
the store would make a quarter.

If it catches on,
that could add up.

Darrin, Henderson
is in my office, and...

Professor Mac
Allister, this is Mr. Tate.

How do you do?

What's that? Oh, that, Mr. Tate,

is a little doll that I've created
that's going to sweep the country.

I agree the country needs
sweeping, but a doll isn't going to do it.

It kind of makes you feel good.

Yeah, it does. He's
a cute little character.

Well, Lar,

how do you feel about McMann
and Tate launching the Fuzz?

The professor has
offered a 50-50 deal.

Uh, Darrin, I'm too
old to play with dolls.

And I have a two million-dollar
account waiting in the office...

that makes me feel a
lot better than the Fuzz.

Now let's start
moving the wagons.

I've got a hunch
about this little fellow.

We handle the advertising
for Hanley's Department Store.

Miss Wilson, why don't you
call Jim Hanley and ask him...

to set up a display of the Fuzz
at their front entrance tomorrow...

and give him all the
details. Yes, Mr. Stephens.

Could you deliver
50 of these to them?

Oh, I think I'd better
deliver 500, just in case.

That's what I like...
An optimistic partner.

It's been a pleasure knowing
you, Professor. Thank you.

If you'll leave your telephone
number with, uh, Miss Wilson,

we'll let you know
how we do tomorrow.

Hi, darling.

Hi there, sweetheart.

Tabitha. Hi, Daddy.

Hi. Oh! What's that?

Sam, believe it or not, I am
dabbling in the doll business.

It's cute. There's
something about it...

The funny nose, the long hair...

That, uh, makes
people feel good.

Now hold it and see.

Hmm. Well, I like it, but...

You don't get any
message, huh? Mm-mmm.

That's funny. Everybody
at the office wanted one.

Well, no telling what
people might like.

Here, sweetheart. This is for
you. Thank you. That's nice, Daddy.

It's one of those things that
people just can't put down.

No man's a prophet
in his own home.

Hmm.

Yes?

Pardon me, but it's important
that I speak to Mr. Stephens.

It's about the doll.

Would you people mind doing
your moonlighting after office hours?

That's why they call it
moonlighting, you know. Sorry, Larry.

What about the
dolls, Miss Wilson?

I'm so excited I could
scream. So could I.

Mr. Hanley called
a few minutes ago...

and said they're
already out of the dolls.

They sold all 500 by 11:00.

Hey, they really like
that little character.

Big deal. So you
peddled 500 dolls.

The professor's rushing another
2,000 over there right now.

Wow, how about that!
Yeah, how about that.

And listen to this,
Mr. Stephens.

Mr. Hanley wants 200,000 for
their stores all over the country.

How... How long will
it take the professor...

He said in a couple of
days he'll have the dolls...

Sooner, if we want them.

Right. Uh, well,
carry on, Miss Wilson,

and, uh, try not to let Mr. Tate
catch you using the company phone.

200,000 dolls... Will you quit fooling
around with those nickels and dimes?

That's $5,000.

$5,000? Mm-hmm.

You must've made a
mistake. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. You've got the decimal
point in the wrong place. That's...

$50,000.

Yes, you're right!

It's an oil well... a gold mine!

$50,000!

- And you say you gave
Miss Wilson 10%?
- Mm-hmm.

- That's $5,000.
- Yeah.

- And nothing for me.
- Larry, if you remember,

I offered to split this
whole deal with you.

Let's not cloud
the issue with facts.

Let's get busy on this. This is an
advertising office, not a doll factory.

Larry, you wouldn't mind if I went
home a little early today, would you?

I'd like to do a little shopping for Sam
and Tabitha... tell 'em the good news.

Darrin, I find that remark
to be in very bad taste.

Oh, sorry.

Turn around this way now. Turn around.
I don't think I've got that quite right.

Hi, Sam, Tabitha.

Well, hi, sweetheart.
You're home early.

Hi, Daddy. Hi, darling.

Larry gave me the afternoon off.

For reasons that will
later become apparent,

he can't stand to look at me
without breaking into tears.

Now, uh, close your
eyes and pucker up.

Hey, this is fun. Mm-hmm.

Solid gold. Real
jewels on both sides.

Well, th-that's certainly
something I wouldn't buy for myself.

Honey, don't ya get it?

If you want
something, just whistle.

- Sometimes you baffle me.
- Try it.

Yes, uh, right this way.

A few little presents.
Right this way.

An original Lili Arlege dress...

from Paris,

designed especially for little
girls who have rich daddies.

I like this dress better.

Well, I'm glad
someone feels that way.

Well, Sam, the dress
you're making is great,

but you don't have to do
that sort of thing anymore.

Darrin, I love doing
that kind of thing.

What's happened?

Sam, those little dolls are a smash.
People are fighting to buy them.

Th-There's something
awfully strange about all this,

if you know what I mean.

Ah!

An ermine coat, for
strolling in the park.

That's what it is, all right...

An ermine coat, for
strolling in the park.

Why didn't you get her a
mink playsuit to go with it?

Sam, you know there's no
such thing as a mink playsuit,

so I got her one in chinchilla!

Mother, I insist that you
appear before me immediately.

Yes, my precious. You called?

Mother, what have you been
up to? Well, isn't it obvious?

I've been spearfishing with
Prince Cellini in the Arctic Sea.

What a soggy bore,

but he does have
a fascinating igloo.

You know what I'm talking about.

Did you put a spell
on a dumb little doll?

Oh, my dear child,
are you all right?

Don't evade the issue.

Mother, Darrin's involved with
some little doll... Oh, my poor darling.

What's her name? Oh,
never mind her name.

Get Tabitha, and let's leave,
and don't bother to pack.

Mother, really. It's a toy doll
that everyone wants to buy.

Darrin's making a fortune,

and it's my guess
that it's your spell.

Oh...

Oh, it's probably one of those
affairs that keep happening to mortals.

Mother. Hmm.

Are... Are you sure you
didn't put some kind of spell...

Witch's honor.

You're absolutely sure?

Samantha, have
I ever lied to you?

Well...

Fine. Thank you very much.

The professor just delivered 5,000
dolls to the Hanley Detroit store.

Good, good.

Would you get that, honey?

What the Fuzz factory
needs is a full-time doorman.

Good idea. Make a
note of that, Miss Wilson.

Oh, the professor
says that the additional

200,000 dolls will be
on their way tomorrow.

Oh, and we have to answer the call
from the Yakamoto Department Store,

uh, regarding the
Tokyo franchise.

One sunken Roman bathtub,
lady. Where do you want it?

I'd hate to tell you.

This is too much. Darrin, that
thing won't fit in our bathroom.

Lady, let's not have a domestic
squabble. This thing weighs a ton.

- Darrin!
- Hmm?

Oh! Uh, the birdbath.
It goes in the backyard.

Watch out for the furniture.

Darrin. Hmm?

Why... Why don't you take
your Fuzz business to the office?

I promised Larry I wouldn't
work on this at the office.

I covered the whole house, Mr. Stephens...
nine rooms, nine color TV sets.

Just what we need... the
Roller Derby in every room.

Oh, Mr. Stephens? I want to check
tomorrow's appointments with you.

Uh, 1:30... Mr. Merrick, about
backing a Broadway musical.

Uh, 2:00... Mr. Craft,
about the yacht.

And 2:30... Mr. Palmer, to
measure you for your golf clubs.

And you mustn't forget to call
Truman Capote for his guest list.

I've already done
that. It's on the way.

I'm sorry to barge in like this, but I
was unable to get you on the phone.

I'm sorry, Larry, but
I wanted to finish the

Fuzz business before
I came into the office.

I know how it upsets you.

Let's not forget the professor
came to McMann and Tate...

not Darrin Stephens,
Incorporated.

- Well, I appreciate that, Lar.
- It's Norman Gimbel.

You'll just have to tell him
the New York franchise is gone.

Well, I guess I'm just an
easygoing, good-hearted guy,

so here's what I'm going to do.

This is an agreement giving you
10% of all the accounts you handle...

in exchange for half
your interest in the Fuzz,

which, by rights,
should be mine anyway.

That sounds like a fair deal.

Well, congratulations,
both of you.

Larry, welcome to
the doll business,

and, uh, thank you
for this percentage.

I loved doing it.

I was going to give it to
you anyway. You were?

See you at the office,
you son of a gun.

Okay. So long, Sam!

Mr. Stephens, how
do you like the styling?

Oh, that is perfect, Cosmo.
Same time tomorrow.

Miss Wilson?

That's probably Miss Dobrin.

Sam, prepare yourself
for a real surprise.

Sweetheart, after all that's happened
today, nothing could surprise me.

It's the new house! New house?

Not just a house...
The Bedlington estate.

Here it is, Mr. Stephens.

It sits majestically in the
center of 80 rolling acres.

Swimming pool, tennis
courts, polo fields...

It's just got everything.

Um, not quite everything.

Where are the his
and hers heliports?

Good suggestion, Sam.

We'll tear out the formal
gardens and put 'em there.

Darrin, I don't want to move.

You know how I love this house.

Sweetheart, this was a great little place
in its day, but now we got to think big.

Don't worry about selling
this place, Mrs. Stephens.

There's a great demand
for these lower-priced homes.

However, it's a shame...

there isn't something more
distinctive about this house...

A sunken living
room, for example.

If you'll stand right over here,
I'll see what I can do. Sam.

I think I've seen
enough, Mr. Stephens.

We'll have a sign
up in the morning.

Miss Wilson, would you
excuse us for a minute, please?

Oh, certainly. I'll get
myself a cup of coffee.

Darrin, I must talk to you.

Right now.

Now... Okay, honey.
What's the problem?

Well, problem number one is, uh,

I think there's something funny
about that little doll of yours,

and problem number two is you.

In what way am I a problem?

Sweetheart,

it's not like you to
go off the deep end.

Well, honey,
it's just that I've...

I've always wanted the
very best for you and Tabitha.

When we were married, you
made a big sacrifice for me.

No, you did. You gave
up you-know-what.

I realize I'm probably
overdoing it, but...

This money is my chance to give
you all the things you could've had.

Darrin, all the money in the world
couldn't buy what we already have.

I know that, Sam.

Just let me have the joy of
overdoing it for a little while.

That may be the nicest thing
you've ever said to me, maybe.

And it's only the
beginning. Huh?

A castle in Spain.

A château in France!

The Onassis island... I
wonder if that's for sale.

Miss Wilson! Miss
Wilson, we have work to do.

Oh, my stars!

Mother, I insist that you
appear before me this minute,

or this house will be
off-limits to you forever.

Really, Samantha.
I try to be attentive,

but you certainly can't blame
me for wanting to finish my slalom.

Mother, you're not
telling me the truth.

Honestly, my
darling, I was skiing.

You know what I
mean. It's about Darrin.

Well, I gave you
my witch's honor.

I love Darrin, and I can
tell when he's under a spell.

Now the truth...

Is there a spell on those
dolls and on Darrin?

I wish you'd phrase that
question a little differently.

I knew it. I knew it!

You got someone else to
do your dirty work, right?

Oh, the burdens of a mother
with an ungrateful child.

Yeah, yeah,
Mother. Get on with it.

I'll take care of it right away.

Oh, dear.

Honey, I can say
one thing for Mother.

She meant well.

I guess I should've realized.

I feel ridiculous, the
way I've been acting.

Well, you acted normally...

under the circumstances.

Sam, I'm a pauper.

Well, I wouldn't
go quite that far.

But you will be a little busy
the next few days returning gifts.

Sam, what can I say? You
don't have to say anything.

Th-There is a bright side
to all this. What's that?

I can hardly wait
to see Larry's face...

when he finally finds out
how fast the Fuzz fad flops.

Darrin, where have
you been? It's 2:00.

I had a few diamond
bracelets and things to return.

Aha! You knew it.

Knew what? The calls
started coming in around noon.

Nobody wants the Fuzz anymore.

The stores are returning them. They
don't even make you feel good anymore.

You're right. Yeah, the fad's
faded. The bubble's burst.

It's as if someone turned
them all off at the same time.

You win some. You lose some.

And you were returning the diamonds
because you knew it was going to happen.

You took advantage of my greed!

Sam just didn't want the
bracelets. A likely story.

Darrin, this is despicable.

Larry, you haven't
lost anything.

I lost the millions I
was going to make,

and I lost 10% of all
the accounts you handle.

You said you were going
to give that to me anyway.

I just said that to
make you miserable.

Hi, honey. I'm home.
Hi there, sweetheart.

Uh, how about, um,
Sorrento's for dinner tonight?

Who's going to sit
with Tabitha? We are.

Now you wait right
here and don't peek.

You promise? Okay. Mm-hmm.

♪♪

All right, sweetheart.
You can come in now.

Buono appetito, Daddy.

Sam, this is just great.

And you were never
better, Marcello. Mmm.

And that is the prettiest
dress I've ever seen.

I wonder where Mommy
learned to sew like that.

From her mommy. I doubt that.

Unless her mommy took
sewing lessons from Betsy Ross.

Darrin! How did you know?