Original subtitles

- Nothing?

Torture style B has only 25 seconds remaining.

So knock yourself out.

Okay that's it.

Hold your horses.

Torture style B is now over.

Now comes the good stuff.

Torture style C.

Total endurement, 25 minutes.

Have fun.

- I come in peace.

I am a priest.

My name is Zaal.

I come in peace in the name of Tao.

- Hold it right there, padre.

One more step and your rod's history.

Oh, I mean your staff.

Don't feed you much at that temple do they?

- Provisions are low.

That's why I made this trek.

For contributions.

What do you call this delicacy?

- Well Joo Joo calls it shita.

All I know is it's looks a hell of a lot

better charred in this plate than

it does crawling around in a cave.

Don't touch that, they're still wet.

We mine with acid from those craters.

Mogwarts here, good workers,

but not much in the brains department.

When we first got here, one of them decided

to wash his face in one of the craters.

Stripped him clean to the skull.

Ain't that right?

- A Sovereign land rover.

- Tax collecting scum.

They wiped out half our take the last time they were here.

- Sovereign warriors have for many years defiled the Tao.

Their tyranny will not last forever.

A citizen's underground has formed.

- Take a lot more than prayers and

amateur spies to stop that slime, preacher man.

Come on guys, let's cover up that

motherload before the creeps get here.

- Anything worthy of sport on this pothole?

- Well there seems to be a lack of fungi

and , and I don't think we

can find any bat-ravs or hemobeasts--

- Stop telling me what we don't have

and find something we do have quickly!

- Well I think there's a distinct

possibility for pantheon crystals.

- Then let's find some.

- I did well then, master?

- You did well, Krago.

- Worthless little slug.

- Come on!

- Katal, old man.

My name is Bantor.

Magistrate for The Sovereign.

He'll be well pleased with your generous offering.

- These crystals are a tribute to Tao.

You have no claim on them.

- Well I'll keep them in a safe place.

If you ever need them, just ask me.

- We have a saying in the Tao.

A man that gives in to evil unlocks

the door to his own asylum.

- Awww, don't try that line on me, old man.

I went nuts a long time ago.

Kill him!

- Oh shit.

- Krago, take these crystals back to the ship.

- You bitch!

You bitch, I'll kill you!

- The Sovereign's high command has

found you guilty of murdering Zaal,

the Taoist priest, and two of his majesty's troopers.

For these acts of insanity, I sentence

you to the prison ship Vehements,

where you will live in chains for the

next seven years, or until you die.

Whichever first occurs.

- I am the warden.

Welcome to prison ship.

The Sovereign has 37 such penal cruisers.

This one is the very best.

Any dissension among the prisoners

will be dealt with severely.

All punishment will be violent.

In case you have any thoughts of escaping,

50 girls have tried and 50 girls are dead.

Hope your stay with us is a pleasant one.

Have a nice day.

- She said anything yet?

- A couple moans.

- Yeah?

- Not much.

- Still talk in her sleep.

- Wake up, sweetheart.

Wake up and meet your new roommates.

Wake up you bitch, I'm just dying to meet you.

- Lay off Stace, I haven't started muster yet.

- That's right, you didn't say mother may I.

- Adrian, you watch for Muffin.

- My head.

- That'll be the synthemorph wearing off.

They shoot you full of it so they

can limit security on the new arrivals.

Before long you'll wish you were still on the stuff.

- [Adrian] Cut the small talk and get on with it!

- Squeeker get out here, I'm calling muster!

- Do we have to?

She looks hurt already.

- She'll live.

It's time we all got to know one another.

K.K. you start it off.

- K.K., welcome aboard.

- The name's Marni.

Nice clothes.

- Now don't you look sweet.

I'm Ruby.

Don't piss me off.

- I'm next.

- Back off, airhead.

I don't like you.

I'm Scratch.

- I believe we've met before.

- Why you little...

- [Mike] Adrian, you're next.

- Prisoner 536, also known as Adrian.

Sentenced to three years for killing my parents.

Sentence extended to 12 for killing small

green things belonging to Warden Exene.

- Cute.

Squeeker.

Come on.

- Everyone calls me Squeeker.

I don't belong here, I didn't do anything, really I--

- Do it, Squeeker.

- Do I have to?

- Now get this straight here and now.

When the warden and her bulldogs

aren't around, I run this block.

My friends here call me Mike.

But you needn't bother because

I can tell you're either some high and

mighty bitch, or maybe the warden's spy.

Two things I have no use for.

- Well my name's Taura.

And you can all kiss my ass.

- Muff alert!

Muff alert!

- Shh.

- All right ladies, assume your positions!

Eyes front!

- What, no warm welcome?

- Marni, Ruby, take her down!

Back to your cells, move it!

You are prisoner 831, in custody of

his Sovereign's prison ship Vehements.

Here is your first and most important lesson.

If I say it, do it.

Understand?

- Yes sir.

- Answer affirmative.

- Affirmative!

- Any other rules or guidelines of conduct

you must follow can be found out quite simply.

Just break one.

Now strip and get into your uniform,

this is not a fashion cruiser.

- Oh yeah.

- Why don't you shake that thing?

- Shut up, slugs!

- Well it just goes to show you style isn't totally dead.

- One more word, sister, and you will be.

Now follow me, the warden wants to see you.

- [Mike] Hey Muffy, give my regards to the warden!

- [Ruby] Yeah, tell her to drop dead.

- [Stace] Check out those drumsticks, ladies!

- Slug!

Up against the wall!

All right babycakes, here it is in a microchip.

I have done a lot of time and been

through plenty of hell to be head

trustee of this flying scum bucket,

and I would not take kindly to any sweet

young fish trying to steal that away from me.

I got this from a would-be status climber

who wanted to play warden's pet.

Her head is in my closet.

Do I make myself clear?

Answer affirmative!

- Affirmative.

- Follow me.

Here's your shortbread pop-tart, as requested.

- The ex-miner?

- Can I say something?

You can keep your job as ranking whore on this

scow, I can get by just fine on my own, thanks.

- That'll be all, Muffin.

- Get the fuck outta the way.

- Hard work seems to agree with you.

You're very firm.

You'll be very busy here.

You'll get firmer.

- I'm thrilled.

- What was that?

We have a mutual friend, you and I.

He's not so handy anymore.

- Bantor?

- Yes, he's very much alive.

Sloppy workmanship on your part I'm afraid.

Bet you'd like to get out and finish the job.

It's not unusual for a model prisoner.

Who pleases her superiors.

- And I bet that takes a lot of pleasing doesn't it?

- Oh yeah, a whole lot of pleasing.

Why don't you think about it?

In the meantime...

You better rest and have a good meal.

Follow the stench.

I'll be seeing you.

- [Staff] Attention service androids,

cleanup on level seven.

That is all.

- Hey, out of my way!

I'm always ahead of you.

- Sure, go right ahead.

- Easy, buddy.

Here, you can have this one.

- No way.

- Take it!

- I'll just wolf that right down.

- This is yesterday's slop.

- Yesterday's was purple.

- I got you now, Ruby.

- Not quite, baby.

- In the event I "accidentally" shut off

the oxygen in your cells, a mask

may drop down next to your bunk.

Normally you would place this mask

over your nose and mouth in order to breathe.

However, these masks don't work either,

so just ignore this transmission.

- Attention all prisoners, it's time

for another episode of The Rehab Game.

Today's profile is on Inquisitor number 13.

The Inquisitor is a new member to the prison ship

Vehements, but no stranger to the world of torture.

At the tender age of seven The Inquisitor won

the Junior Torturer's Championship Cup for

squashing over 5,000 Dribbles in less than one hour.

His specialties include bone breaking,

brain baking, eye gouging, his favorite

colors are brown and gray, and his turnoffs

include moon surfing, the color pink, and shaving.

Did you spot the clues in our ongoing puzzle?

Write your answer on a napkin and

turn it in to your psych counselor.

I'm your host, Monty Martian, wishing you

a fond good day and praises to The Sovereign.

- Do we have to watch this while we're eating?

- Aw come on, they stage a show like this

every time the warden gets a new inquisitor.

Hey Marni, they catch you on to that plate gag yet?

- Nah.

They're stupid.

Been grinding it down every chance I get.

It's getting real sharp.

- K.K. said someone made an unauthorized

transmission out here today.

You don't suppose it was about that new girl do you?

- Well I'll tell you one thing, I do not

believe the sad sob mining crap.

She looks more like warden's meat to me.

- Then who's spying for the underground?

- What about Dr. Po?

- You know she's a Talian genetic, they're only

bred to take orders from The Sovereign's clan.

- Hey.

- What's the matter, don't you like it?

- You don't see me complaining do you?

- Try these.

I caught them myself.

Eat it.

- You eat it.

- Mike!

- What's the matter, Mikey?

Thought you were queen hag around here.

- All right, cut the horseplay!

Who started this?

- Answer the warden, slugs!

- Tell me, my sweet.

Who is the guilty party here?

No need to be afraid.

I'm very lenient with those who cooperate.

Somebody thinks this is funny?

Anybody here think it's funny?

Muffin, assemble the prisoners to the arena.

- Follow me, ladies.

Well ladies, it certainly did take

a long time to clean up the mess hall.

If I would've had my way I'd have

had you lick it up, but I think this

is going to be much more fun, don't you?

Now to get to the seat of the problem.

- Cease the punishment!

When you act like an alley cat, I'll treat you as such.

Is that what you want?

Muffin, announce our special entertainment for this evening.

- Ladies, and I use the term ever so loosely,

members of his Sovereign's prison ship.

We are proud to have with us the winner

of the Triad Galaxy Heavyweight Championship,

and star of his own Saturday morning children's

television series, "Vicious" Hunk Hardegen!

- Silence!

I'd like to congratulate you both personally,

but unfortunately I have a call from The Sovereign.

Muffin, show the champions to their rooms.

- [Mike] Cozy isn't it?

- Yeah, this is real nice.

- Hey, it looks like they cleaned this place up.

You...

You had some pretty good moves there.

- I was just lucky, that's all.

- For a while I thought that thing

was gonna bite my head off.

- Greetings, Warden Exene.

- Katal and praises, your Sovereign.

Your thoughts and my duty are one.

- The nature of this meeting is

for a request, not a command.

This is Marai, my consultant and personal confidant.

- Warden.

- Tell me, Exene, what is your

capacity status at this moment?

- Very light.

We just sold 50 little trollops to

the red light moon of the Vicandor.

- You paid the standard duty of course.

- The Sovereign is the first to share in my spoils.

Always.

- Your loyalty will not go unrewarded.

In the meantime, your ship will

provide respite for my special staff.

You know Magistrate Bantor.

- I heard he stuck his hand in a hole

somewhere where it didn't belong.

- That accident has left him completely unhinged.

Even in the simplest affairs he leaves

a trail of blood and disaster.

- Sounds like my kind of guy.

- It's not as bad as that.

His mind comes and goes.

He's a good soldier, but he has taken too much.

- And that's putting it lightly.

His totally unnecessary massacre on

Koda Six has increased sympathy with the underground.

- That we cannot have.

- Yes.

- I prefer that he keeps his hands out of things.

- One of them anyway.

- It shall be done.

- A Talian doctor was transferred to you.

To develop new anti-dissension techniques.

- She's working on a brain immobilizer,

but we've yet to see any results.

- A moment lost is a moment gained for the opposition.

I expect a successful report by our next communication.

- I'll have her working double time, I can assure you.

And happy day before your birthday.

- Well thank you, Exene.

That's very nice.

- Did you hear something?

- No, what is it?

- I don't know, it sounded kinda

like eek eek, but I can't be sure.

- Oh shit.

- What do you mean oh shit?

- Jagger rats.

K.K. has one in a cage under her

bed, they're nasty little suckers.

You still hear it?

- No.

- Well let's just hope it's looking for the warden.

The one that K.K. has will chop

up glass if you put blood on it.

And if that thing gets on your head...

It'll chomp right through to your skull.

You okay?

- Yeah, I think so.

- Well did you get it?

- It's highly unlikely.

- Look, now they have a neck that's

like a piece of chalk, so if you can

just grab it and give it a good twist.

- Oh yeah, I'll just grab it by the neck.

No problem.

- Kill it, Taura, kill it!

Ew, God.

- Die, you little son of a bitch!

- [Staff] Attention, tonight's movie

is Jailhouse Rocket starring

Severn Colt, the Manujian Elvis.

Showtime's at 1600 hours, that is all.

- Okay scumbag, let's see you do it again.

- On the count of three.

- One, two, three.

- A week's worth of smokes, come on, fork it over.

- Three out of five.

- Quiet down, you beasts.

Today's party is in honor of The Sovereign's birthday.

So show some respect.

Long live The Sovereign.

- And his hemorrhoids too.

- Ugh, you humans are hopeless.

- Hey, just in time for the party.

- Mike!

- What's going on here?

- The Sovereign's celebrating another batch of wrinkles.

- Hey K.K., Taura here killed your best friend.

- Then you need a drink.

- How was solitary?

- Same.

- What's this stuff made out of anyhow?

- 85% alcohol.

I made it myself.

- What's the other 15%?

- Coolant from the generator.

- Hey Squeeker, come here and have another blast with me.

- You guys always make this stuff too strong for me.

- Does she always whine like that?

- Lay off, she's okay.

She's my sister.

- She's right, you know.

Nothing's worse than Scratch's rat juice.

- Vacationing from your slime pit, Bantor?

- Well well, my little miner.

How do you like it here in the can?

- How do you like being a can opener?

- Officially I'm here just as an

observer, but just give me an excuse.

- Hey lefty, why don't you go stick your finger

in a light socket and short your brains out.

- Drink up!

Drink up, little angels!

Hell has just come to your party!

- [Director] Marker.

Action!

- On the occasion of his birthday,

our most royal Sovereign wishes to address

the inmates of the prison ship Vehements.

- It gives me deep pleasure to speak

to you ladies on this very special day.

The concerns of you, my subjects, are always on my mind.

I understand your warden, the gracious

and compassionate Exene, that she is

breaking new grounds in rehabilitation.

I commend your work with new skills.

The arts, music, and I know that someday you

will return to the empire with this knowledge

to become a productive member of society.

And remember, it's your universe.

Keep it clean.

Are we off the air?

- [Director] Yes sir.

- Good.

That oughta take care of the little bastards.

- Goody, I need a drink.

- The ultimate in lobotomy.

It quickly immobilizes mental resistance without

reducing any of the patient's motor responses.

That's it.

- Excellent, doctor.

I shall report your success to The Sovereign this instance.

Bantor.

- No, you go ahead.

I'm gonna hang around here.

Give The Sovereign my regards.

- As you wish.

- I want that bitch with the headband.

After curfew, bring her here.

Krago, I want you to concentrate

your talents on the other girls.

Something underhanded and nasty.

- I like that.

- What about the miner?

- I'll save her for last.

Let's go.

I enjoyed your experiment, doctor.

I want you to repeat it for me tonight.

- [Staff] Attention, the time is now 1900 hours.

All prisoners must be in their cells.

Lights must be out in all cellblocks.

Attention, Androids Howard, Fine, and Howard.

Report to the service depot for your bi-annual lube job.

That is all.

- Put her on the table.

- After this she'll do anything I say won't she?

- Anything for anyone bearing The Sovereign's insignia.

Now go, I've got work to do.

- Bantor said to stay and see it done.

- You had your demonstration earlier.

I'll call you when I'm ready.

Go.

- Pst.

Hey soldier.

- The Sovereign no longer trusts my judgment.

But he can't see with his own eyes.

The air is thick with devils and disloyalty.

We must purge ourselves, Krago.

Sorry.

There are demons all around us.

And they take the form of women.

- Master.

- Demons.

Demons!

Devils.

Yes.

Out!

Out.

Out.

Out.

- It is good to see you repent, Bantor.

I was beginning to think you were going mad.

- No, not me.

No.

- I've come for the crystals.

You said all I had to do was ask for them.

- No!

Demons!

No!

- Any news yet?

- Rumor has it she went to the lab and hasn't come out yet.

- Shit.

Can we get in there?

- Well I'm sure as hell gonna try.

- Keep that wicked plate of yours coming.

I feel trouble's coming today.

- Good, I'm just itching to cut somebody.

- How is he?

- He's worse.

He's babbling.

- If he goes too far this time

The Sovereign will have our skins as well as his.

Better hold off on your little tricks.

- Oh it's too late.

It's starting now.

- Ouch!

Okay, which one of you jokers put this tack in my chair?

- Something goofy's going on around here.

- Ow.

- By the way, who does your hair?

- Is it true, have they taken her to the lab?

- I don't know, Squeeker.

Just be cool.

She'll be all right.

- But what if they experiment on her?

Suppose she's taken to The Inquisitor.

- Suppose they just took a stroll in the park.

- Shut your mouth.

- Or I'll shut it for you.

- Mike!

Mike, it's me Squeeker!

Say something!

- Squeeker, sit down!

Did Bantor order this?

Nobody acts on this ship without my authorization.

Find the son of a bitch!

- Stand up, slug!

We found this under your bunk, sweetheart.

- But I sleep on the top bunk!

- Take her to the hole!

- No!

Wait a minute, I didn't do anything!

It wasn't mine, honest!

Mike help me, do something!

- Aww, poor thing.

- Who set her up, Muffin?

Was it you?

- Shut your mouth or you'll go in with her!

- You think you can take me there?

- You're damn right, you little bitch.

Your head in my closet.

- How about my fist in your face, bitch!

- Well I see they didn't remove

enough of your brain, your mouth still

seems to be getting your ass into trouble.

- Where is he?

- I still cannot find him.

Lord Bantor has disappeared.

- I'll give him 10 minutes to undisappear.

Then I contact The Sovereign.

That'll teach him.

That'll show him.

I'll get him for this.

- It's time somebody cut you down

to size, you scum-sucking dyke!

- You just try it, cyclops.

- Slash her down!

Get her, get her!

- Come on Mike, cut her other eyeball out!

- Oh shit.

Woohoo!

Woo!

- All right, all right!

- Don't ever pull that zombie crap on me again, okay?

- Okay, so I waited a little longer than was necessary.

- Are we gonna stand around and chat or what?

- She's right, this is a big ship to get through.

Doctor Po is with the underground,

she'll guide us to Koda Six, she's making

a gas bomb in the lab right now.

- No, there's no time for that, I'll go get her myself.

Look, we're gonna need some guns,

so we'll hit the weapons block first.

Adrian and Marni, go in your

cell and get out the Jagger rat.

We'll meet the rest of you in the armory.

Okay, where do we go and how do we get there?

- There are two of Bantor's shuttles on the bottom level.

They're not so well equipped, but they fly like lightning.

- What do we do about the girls in solitary?

- Oh forget them, let's just get the hell off the ship.

- But they're our friends!

- Okay look, first chance you get, spring 'em.

- Sounds good.

- Okay, and clean yourself up, you look like garbage.

- You don't smell like roses yourself.

- Doctor Po I presume?

Going somewhere, my little demon?

My friend The Inquisitor would like to talk to you.

- Crazy space bitches.

Grrrrr!

- Wake up!

Wake up!

The prisoners are escaping!

- It's unfortunate you tried to help the prisoners escape.

Consequences are, to say the least, very severe.

- Okay, it's all clear.

Grab that rat.

Follow me.

I know just what to do with that.

- [Mouse Robot] Hey, watch where you're stepping!

- Come on, it's time to go!

Dr. Po?

Dr. Po?

Freeze, handsome.

Thought somebody would've done away with you by now.

- You'll find me very difficult to kill.

- It's about time somebody took

the garbage out of this galaxy.

- Looks like we have a mutiny aboard.

Better take care of it.

- With pleasure.

- You're so pretty.

You could've been my pet.

Too bad it had to end this way.

- [Staff] Attention Androids Will and Penny.

Two prisoners spotted on cellblock H.

Report immediately, that is all.

- Is it okay?

Is the coast clear?

- Shh.

Shh!

- Oh lady, come out come out wherever you are.

I'm not mad.

Really.

I just got a little headache, that's all.

Taura.

- I got you now, you little demon bitch.

- You stupid idiot!

Do I look like a prisoner?

Do I?

Damn ugly twit, where have you been?

- Preparing for battle.

To fight the unholy war.

- You better be ready for more than that!

Jerk off!

- [Bantor] Garth, over here.

- Get lost, shorty.

- I want your hand.

- You want it?

Come and get it!

- I'll get you later.

- [Staff] Attention.

10,000 crystals and a vacation fun pack

for the Vega Star will be awarded

for the recapture of any prisoners.

Good luck, that is all.

- Be still, the guards are everywhere.

- Then why did you make us stop, they're gonna catch us.

- If you don't shut your mouth--

- Look, I'm not gonna let them catch me,

they've been beating me up all day,

I'm not gonna let them catch me.

- Squeeker, just keep your cool okay?

We are going to steal Bantor's shuttles,

then we make like whores and blow this joint.

- It's not gonna work!

It's not gonna work!

- You and you follow me.

To hell with it.

I can take this guy.

- Kill him!

- All right, let's get this heap going.

- Here's where these space sluts get theirs.

Shit.

- All right girls, let's get the hell out of here.

- We're not gonna make it!

They're right behind us!

I swear they're right behind us!

- Squeeker.

Man the gun.

- [Stace] Four streakhead fighters spotted at .30.

- [Taura] this, you ugly prunehead.

- I wanna work this gun.

- No, I'm using it.

- I wanna work this gun!

- I'm using it!

Leave me alone!

- Ow, stop it!

- Get your hands off--

- [Mike] Cut that crap out, you two.

- All right, it's gonna be one hell of a ride.

- [Stace] You've got an android fighter creeping up.

- [Taura] This bud's for you, Mr. Inquisitor.

- Oh no!

- Time to die, Taura.

Fire, damn you, fire!

Bitches.

Demon bitches!

- [Taura] Sounds like Bantor's

having trouble with our little pet.

- I'll kill you.

You can't kill me.

I'm Bantor, I can't be killed.

- [Stace] Look out, he's loose!

- The key to his own asylum.

Bantor.

- Demon.

Demon!

Demon!

- Looks like we made it, girls.

- I knew we were gonna make it.

- Last one off this shuttle buys the beer.

- Beer?

I want a man!

- I was right.

That was one hell of a ride.