Original subtitles

NARRATOR: "Gunsmoke," with Milburn Stone as Doc, Amanda

Blake as Kitty, Ken Curtis as Festus,

Buck Taylor as Newly, and starring

James Arness as Matt Dillon.

[grunting]

[whinnying]

[grunting]

All right, Snelling, that's enough out of you.

Now get inside.

You ain't near had all of me you're gonna get, Dillon.

Over there.

[door closing]

Get in there.

[grunting]

Hey, what about these things here?

How long do you figure on keeping me here?

I'll let you know that tomorrow.

Oh thanks, Hank.

Can you get him put away for me?

Sure.

[sighs]

Ah.

[music playing]

[SINGING] Six big catfish, a waiting to be et,

six big catfish a waiting to be et,

got me six big catfish in my cold trap,

gonna skim the scudders out and throw them in the fat,

slice me a potato in a prairie fire

good and downing a pot of hot java to wash it all down.

[chuckling]

[slams door]

Matthew?

What is it, Festus?

When'd you get back?

About five minutes ago.

Well, where you been at the last couple days?

We got to frettin' about you.

I been trailing Job Snelling.

Job Snelling?

Well where'd you run across him at?

Festus, I'll tell you about it later.

Right now I haven't had any sleep in 36 hours.

Course, Matthew, you go ahead on and get yourself some sleep.

You blame sure need it.

Matthew?

Matthew, you asleep yet?

What is it, Festus?

Did you get Snelling?

Yes, I got him.

He's in the back.

Well, you go ahead on, go back to sleep.

You blame sure need it if anybody does.

Festus?

What is it, Matthew?

Do you have to do that in here?

Do what?

Clean those fish.

Well of course, Matthew, catfish

has got to be cleaned quick, elsewise they're liable to sour

on you-- anybody knows that.

Can't you take them outside and do it out there?

Oh, good idea, Matthew, I'll do that.

Matthew?

What are you fixing to do with Snelling?

I'm gonna take him over to Judge Brooker

this afternoon, after I get some sleep.

Oh, yeah.

[banging]

[grunting]

[banging]

[grunting]

[stomping]

Oh Matthew?

I plumb forgot to tell you, Judge Brooker, he ain't

a gonna be here later on today.

I heared him say that he's a fixing to take that half

past six stage up to Hays.

So if you're fixing to see him, it better be mucho pronto.

[sighs]

Maybe I can get a little sleep anyway for a few minutes.

Yeah, goodnight, Matthew.

Festus?

Wake me up at a quarter to six, will you?

You betcha.

And I'm gonna fix you the best catfish breakfast

that you ever slapped a lip over, I'll guarantee you.

[stomping]

[door slamming]

[creaking]

Ludlow, will you hush up?

Matthew just got in and he's trying to get his self

some sleep.

Well, I got to get the milk delivered.

Hush.

Hush up, now.

He ain't had a lick of sleep in two days.

Suppose you tell me how I can make my rounds

if I can't push my cart?

FESTUS: [SHOUTING] Why don't you get them blame wheels greased?

LUDLOW: [SHOUTING] Why don't you tell me how I can do

it if I can't move the wagon?

FESTUS: [SHOUTING] I don't mean now, Ludlow, I don't mean now.

Festus?

Now you see what you went and done?

You woke him up.

Here I been a pussy footing around trying to keep still

and you come along with your blame sour

milk and squeaky wheels and--

[ANGRILY] Festus?

FESTUS: All right, Matthew, we're hushing up.

Well since he's awake anyway, it won't make any difference

if I go ahead with my route.

And I will!

Well go ahead on, you blame stubborn knothead.

[squeaking]

[snoring]

Marshal?

Marshal, wake up.

I have urgent business to discuss with you.

Miss Pry, what is it?

While you have been sleeping I have

been doing your job for you.

I have caught us a thief.

[blows raspberry]

What happened?

As you know, I always bake on Thursdays.

Well, I had two chocolate meringues

and one lemon meringue sitting on my window ledge to cool.

While my back was turned, this urchin ate one of chocolate,

gave the other chocolate to my dog,

and hit me with the lemon meringue.

I want him arrested for stealing and for assault,

and locked up in jail.

What's your name, Son?

I have questioned him until I'm blue in the face.

I've reasoned, I have cajoled, I have been more than patient,

and he refuses to say anything-- not one word.

All he does is to stick out that dreadful-looking tongue of his.

[blows raspberry]

I think maybe you can let go of his ear now.

Hold on there, Son.

A jail cell is the only safe place for the likes of him.

You have no idea where he belongs?

Down by that wallow creek, no doubt, that trash.

Anyway Marshal, he's yours now.

And if you take my advice, you;ll lock

him up and throw away the key.

You look terrible, Marshal, you should

take better care of yourself.

[spurs jingling]

Hello, Miss Pry.

MATT: Hold it.

What's going on here?

Festus, I got to get Snelling over to see

Judge Brooker before he leaves.

I'll figure out what to do with him when I get back.

Well, where'd he come from?

I don't know.

Maybe you can get something out of him while I'm gone.

You better clean up that mess there, young feller,

or I'll tan your hide when I go back.

And you'd better do what he tells you to, too.

[door closing]

MATT: All right, Snelling, on your feet.

[creaking]

Get him, Matthew!

Give me room and let me bust him.

[shouts]

[grunting]

You all right, Matthew?

[gasping]

It'll hurt a minute.

Let me get this around there.

You better get over and see ol' Doc, because he

jogged you pretty deep there. -Yeah.

You want me to take Snelling over for you?

No, stay here with that kid.

And get the handcuffs, will you?

All right, Snelling, on your feet here.

And don't be thrashing around, now,

or I'll whack you on the other side.

There, finally.

All right.

[door closing]

All right, Boy, you don't have to be scared no more, come on,

it's all over.

My name's Festus Haggen, what's yourn?

Do you wanna draw some pictures or something like that?

Lookie here, I got me some of them

wax coloring pencils in here someplace.

Now, where do you reckon them got off to?

I was just using them the other-- oh,

here's the green one.

Now, Me here what I'm fixing to do for you here.

See that right there?

Lookie at that right there like that.

JUDGE BROOKER: It's clear-cut, Matt-- he's still in the Army

and we have to return him to Fort Dodge.

What all those people he killed in Mertilla?

He's an escaped prisoner and under the government's

jurisdiction.

Now, now we have no choice but to return him and let

the higher courts decide.

I suggest you take him back to prison

just as soon as possible.

It's a long way back to the--

Shut up, Snelling.

He's right, Matt, that arm doesn't look very good.

Maybe you ought to let Festus and Newly do it.

No, no, I'm all right, judge.

The court requests that you assign deputies to it.

And get yourself some sleep, will you?

You look terrible.

Let's go, Snelling.

[muffled yelling]

Help me get out so-- [muffled yelling]

[gasping]

Onliest thing I was trying to do,

Matthew, is keep him out of trouble, that's all.

We was playing a little game of outlaws and injuns.

And I's just trying to show him--

[grunt] How to use these here handcuffs,

that's all I was doing.

You know what that ornery little rat done?

He wasn't playing no game at all.

See, I's always just having some friendly little game,

but the little booger tied me to the blame chair.

[door closing]

Festus, this is a receipt for the prisoner.

Have Commander Kelly sign it, will you?

All right, Matthew.

We ought to be back sometime tonight, Marshal.

Yeah.

You take care of yourself, Matthew.

Better have ol' Doc take a look at that there arm.

Yeah, I'll do that.

Here we go.

Oh Matthew, if you should see that little old ornery brat--

Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean.

Oh, good morning, Marshal.

Burke.

Hey, you look--

Yeah, I know.

Look, I want you to do me a favor.

Sure.

How'd you hurt your arm?

Oh, a prisoner.

Look, there's a little boy running around town here,

I want you to see if you can find him for me.

What prisoner is that?

Job Snelling.

Now, he's about nine years old, about that high,

or so, he's got light hair and freckles.

Job Snelling?

No, the little boy.

Oh.

MATT: And he's wearing old, raggedy clothes.

Where is he now?

Burke, If I knew that, I wouldn't need your help.

Just see if you can find him for me.

Sure.

Oh, Burke?

Hm?

When you find him, keep him awhile.

I gotta get some sleep.

Sure, sure, you can count on me, Marshal.

Hm.

Kitty--

DOC ADAMS: You think her behavior is very strange,

and I think it's very strange, but she

doesn't think it's strange.

[grunts]

Oh, hold still for heaven sakes.

Oh, that hurts, Doc.

Well, I'm sorry.

But Job Snelling cut you pretty good here,

just has to be cleaned up.

There, I think that's pretty good.

It was only a picnic, Doc.

Let me tell you something, Matt-- there

is no such thing as only a picnic where

there's a woman concerned.

Well, I was trailing Job Snelling,

now I couldn't very well stop in the middle

of that to go to a picnic.

Well, she'd gone to an awful lot of trouble

for that, Why good heavens, she had fried chicken,

she had potato salad, she had apple pie.

She had-- oh, it-- it was delicious.

You mean you went?

Well, somebody had to after she's waited for you all day.

Somebody had to.

She wasn't in a very good mood, tell you that.

Well, I'm sorry.

Well don't tell me you're sorry, tell her.

All right, that's got it.

How about a cup of coffee?

Oh, no thanks, Doc.

One other thing, Matt.

Before you go see Kitty, I think you ought

to go get some because you--

I know, I look terrible.

Doc, you think she was really mad?

Oh, we-- oh.

I want you out of here now.

[shouting]

That's enough!

[yelling]

Oof.

I'll get the Marshal.

No.

I'm not talking to him. -Well, I am.

Not and work for me, you aren't.

[grunting]

But they're gonna wreck the place, Miss Kitty.

I'll rebuild.

[grunting]

[yelling]

[click]

Stop it, or I'll blast you out of here.

[gunshot]

Aw, Miss Kitty?

I'll go.

But I'll hate it.

Long Branch.

Fight.

[yelling]

All right, hold on here, both of you.

Break that up now, get up.

Both of you get up here.

Mm, mm.

All right, now, what's going on here?

Who started this?

What's going on?

You got eyes, ain't you?

He and me's fighting.

Let me go and I'll rip him apart.

You better keep me away from him, Marshal,

or I'm going to cross his eyes permanent.

Who started this?

It's on account of a difference of opinion, Marshal.

No, it wasn't on account of a difference of no opinion.

She's gonna marry me-- she said so in so many words.

You better learn to read better.

Who are you talking about?

Drusilla Pruitt, that's who.

Don't you say her name out loud, you sump hole.

Ooh--

We been corresponding with a heart in hand woman,

Marshal, Miss Drusilla Pruitt of Sweetwater.

Even where she lives sounds kind of romantic, don't it?

We seen her name and picture in the register.

Ain't she pretty?

Yeah, we both wrote her, and she wrote us both back,

and we've been writing to each other for about four months

now.

What's this got to do with breaking up the Long Branch?

He thinks she's going to marry him when it's me

she's coming for.

She ain't no such a thing.

Now hold it just a minute, here.

You mean to tell me that you both been writing to her

and she's coming here?

On the evening stage.

To make up her mind?

She done made it up.

Read this.

[READING] My dear Mr. Dobie Crimps,

It was so very nice to hear from you again,

and I do so thank you for sending me the passage

money to Dodge City.

What do you mean, you sent the money?

I'm the one who sent the money.

He wasn't, neither.

You mean to tell me she got passage money

out of both of you?

It was me!

Now let me ask you something-- how long have you

two known each other?

Oh, about 30 years, I guess.

Now don't just think it's a little bit

early, then, for the two of you to be fighting over somebody

you've never even met yet?

We showed you her picture.

I doubt that anybody named Drusilla Pruitt is going

to be on that stage tonight.

Marshal, you a good two feet taller than me,

and more than likely, you could just

stomp me into a little greasy speck

right here on the floorboards.

But I just want you to know that I

don't take kindly to you saying bad things about our Drusilla.

[sighs]

All right, just-- just forget it.

We accept your apology, Marshal.

Can we buy you a drink?

Not in here, you can't.

I guess we owe you one too, young lady,

for busting up the place.

But we can pay for the damage.

We made a strike about a month ago,

and that's why we figured we could afford to get married.

Here, that take care of it?

It's a great plenty, thank you very much.

Now you two, I want you to promise me

that you're not going to do any more

fighting while you're in Dodge.

All right, Marshal, I promise.

Crimps?

Yes, Sir.

And you better stick with it, too,

or you two are liable to be in jail when that stage gets here.

Well, what are we gonna do for the rest of the day?

I have a suggestion.

What's that?

Why don't you go down to the barber shop

and get yourselves a bath? -Bath?

What for?

Well just for the new experience if nothing else.

Keep you out of trouble for a while, too.

Guess it would pass the time.

Come on, Dobie.

How long is it since you had a bath?

DOBIE: Oh, I forgot.

Oh, when I fell in the creek.

[laughter]

And you still smell the same.

[laughter]

Kitty, I uh--

Uh, I know, I'm sure you had a good reason,

but I don't care to hear it.

I was out uh, chasing Job Snelling.

Is he the one that killed that family in Mertilla?

That's the one.

He do that to your arm?

Yeah, but it's uh, it's not as bad as it looks.

Well, I suppose that means you'll

be leaving right away to take him to Hays or someplace?

No, uh, Newly and Festus are going to take

him over to Fort Dodge for me.

Well does that mean that you're actually going to stay

in town for an hour or two?

Kitty, look, let's start the whole thing all over again.

How about dinner tonight?

I'll think about it.

All right.

But not at Delmonico's.

I'll fix dinner here.

Good.

Well, I uh, I better go get some sleep.

I know, I look terrible.

7 o'clock all right?

I'll be here.

Well, I found him, Marshal, he was

riding one of Hank's horses.

What's your name, Son?

He tell you anything?

No, he came along real peaceful like.

Well, maybe he's taken a liking to you or something.

BURKE: Well, you just have to know

how to handle kids, that's all.

Maybe you could keep an eye on him

for awhile while I try to get some sleep?

BURKE: I sure will.

Come along, Son.

[snoring]

[whistling]

Hey, what's this?

Oh, that's my new safe, I just got it in yesterday.

A real beauty, isn't it?

Well, what do you use it for?

Oh, put things in-- money, valuable papers,

things like that.

[whistling]

[ominous music]

Yeeow!

[shouting]

[laughter]

What in thunder is the matter with you, Burke?

If you felt you had to have a bath, why didn't you go home?

Why'd you take it out here in the middle of the--

That's not funny, Doc.

[laughter]

It was that little heathen.

Wait till I get my hands on him. -What little heathen?

That little monster the marshal pawned off on me.

When I get my hands on him, I'm gonna--

[laughter]

When I get my hands on--

[muffled shouting]

[banging]

Someone's in there.

He's locked himself in.

Well, open it.

I can't, Doc.

KITTY: Why?

Well, it's a new safe, I just got it in yesterday.

So?

Well, I don't have the combination,

the home office hasn't sent it yet.

[crowd murmuring]

Marshal Dillon?

Marshal? Marshal?

Hm?

That little boy you told me to look out after just

locked himself in my new safe that the home office just

sent me, and I don't have the combination

and well, he's going to suffocate if something

isn't done real quick.

What?

I said that little boy you told me to look

out after just locked himself--

I heard you.

[groaning]

ONLOOKER: Might not be a bad idea at that.

How long can he last in there?

Well, not long without oxygen.

[inaudible].

[crowd murmuring]

MAN: Watch your head, folks.

Matt, you gotta do something.

Now tell me about this safe.

Well, the home office had it shipped yesterday,

but they forgot to send the combination.

Well, how'd you get it open in the first place?

Well, it wasn't locked?

Well then how did he get in there and lock it?

I don't know.

Matt, we've got to do something.

We can't let him suffocate in there.

[crowd murmuring]

What's the home office of this place?

Chicago.

All right, then get over there and get a telegram off to them,

tell them there's a kid locked up here

and we gotta have the combination immediately.

I can't hear anything.

BURKE: I got it!

I got the telegram.

Excuse me, folks.

[crowd murmuring]

[gasping]

[crowd murmuring]

MAN: Miss Pry?

Miss Pry?

How'd you get in there?

Marshal Dillon, in this life, everyone must

suffer some small indignities.

But never-- may I say never-- have I been pushed into a safe

and locked up, and never do I wish to be so again.

-Miss Pry-- -I have not finished.

This morning I brought you a thief

and suggested you put him in jail, away from decent people.

Well, you chose to ignore my advice

and release that freckle-faced disaster on society.

That was your choice and your decision,

and I just want you to know that I intend

to write about you to my very good

friend, the attorney general.

And I hope he abrogates your prerogatives.

[laughter]

Matt?

If Miss Pry was locked in the safe, where's the little boy?

[muffled yelling]

MAN: Come here.

There he is now.

Honest, now you stop that [inaudible] back.

[inaudible]

[shouting]

MAN: Come here.

Catch him. [inaudible].

MAN: Oh no, you don't, oh no you don't.

Come here.

You're going to go see the Marshal, yes Sir, you will,

you-- -Marshal--

You impudent little scalawag.

You're going to have to do something.

I intend to.

All right, fella, you come with me.

MAN: Whew.

[blows raspberry]

-Hey, I can't stay in here. -Sure you can.

[sighs]

[rattling]

You'd better not touch me.

You just better not.

Son, I've been patient with you up to now.

In fact, I been more than patient with you.

But now you and I are gonna come to a little understanding.

ANDY: Let me go.

[spanking]

Ow, ow, ow.

[crying]

MATT: If you cause any more trouble,

I'll tan your hide till you can't sit down for a week.

Now, do we understand each other?

ANDY: [SNIFFLING] Yes.

MATT: Yes, what?

ANDY: Yes, Sir.

MATT: That's better.

[door closing]

You're gonna stay in here, and you're gonna be

quiet while I get some sleep.

ANDY: Yes, Sir.

Mister?

You the Marshal?

What can I do for you?

You ain't seen a boy around these parts, have you?

About seven?

He was nine last month, Odom.

[children yelling]

Leastwise, he was more than seven.

Uh, this here is the missus, Marshal.

Ma'am, this uh, boy of yours, was he

sort of light-headed and freckle-faced?

Well, that sounds like him, don't it, Celie.

And name of Andy Ballou.

[children yelling]

[banging]

Excuse me.

[children squealing]

[banging]

Sue Ellen, why don't you sit back

and read your picture book?

[banging]

I uh, think I have your boy for you, ma'am.

He's locked up in the back.

Locked up?

He ain't been a bad boy, has he?

He always was a good 'un, wasn't he, Odom?

[banging]

So quiet we never even knowed he was around,

Celie, that's for certain.

That's how we lost him.

Picked up camp early this morning

and got 12 miles away afore'd we even knowed he weren't with us.

Uh-huh.

Well, I have him locked up for his own protection.

[children yelling]

All right, Son, your folks are here for you.

Where'd you get off to, Andy?

Answer your father, Son.

I went in the woods digging for worms, and when I came back,

you was gone.

Told you a hundred times, Andy, not to go

digging for worms in the woods.

Bear might get you.

Thank you kindly for taking care of him for us, Marshal.

Well, uh, guess we better be getting on our way.

Come on.

[children yelling]

[inaudible].

[shouting]

[banging]

Hush up back there, I can't hear myself think.

Andy, you'd better climb up.

We got a long ways to go by nightfall.

Yes, Sir.

Goodbye, Andy.

Goodbye, Sir.

Marshal, he been ill?

Not so that you'd notice.

Never heard him call nobody sir-- not even

Parson Williams in Iola.

[banging]

You know, Mr. Ballou, it's none of my business,

but kids are a whole lot easier to get

along with when they're behaved.

Couldn't agree more, Marshal.

But these are beyond helping.

We yell at them all the time, don't do no good.

Did you ever think of taking a firm hand to a firm behind?

You mean spanking?

That's what I'm saying.

We ain't never raised a hand to one of them.

Well, it shows, Mr. Ballou-- it shows.

That what you sis to Andy to make him respectful-like?

[banging]

[crying]

Ida May, stop tugging on Amy Jeans legs,

you're making her cry.

Jimmy, if I you once, I told you a hundred times,

put that butcher knife away 'fore you cut yourself.

All right, all you kids, get down out of that wagon

and make a line.

You hear me?

Get down at once and make a line right in front of me.

Marshal, you wanna help with one or two of them?

No, no thank you, Mr. Ballou, that's

uh, that's the father's job.

Me?

What you gonna do, Odom?

Better turn your head, Celie, you ain't gonna like it.

Odom, you ain't gonna--

ODOM: Oh, yes I am.

Jimmy, your mother told you a hundred times

not to hack at that wagon.

I'm only telling you once.

[spanking]

[crying]

DOBIE: Here she comes.

I can almost smell her perfume.

Dobie, I just want you to know that if you're the one she

wants, well, we've been friends for too

many years to fight about it.

Well, that's-- that's good of you, Buck.

Same goes for me, you know that.

Oh.

Ah, hey, uh, was they a lady on the stage with you?

Been riding alone since Lawrence.

You sure?

Here's a picture.

Anyone looking like that been on the stage,

I'd have been engaged by now.

It's just like the Marshal said,

we've been took by a lying female.

Ah, I got my hopes and dreams all built up.

Just goes to show you, we ought to have stayed in the hills

where we belong.

Mail order lady friend supposed to meet you, was she?

You send her money, did you?

Well, gentlemen, uh, why don't you just step over here?

Now gentlemen, I represent a new mail order company

that puts out the most interesting illustrated catalog

you have ever seen.

Now, you can spend hours looking a pictures,

trying to decide what you should buy for a lady

friend of your acquaintance.

Eh, now I also have at the back here

a list of very eligible young ladies

who would like to change their way of life,

if you know what I mean?

Now, this one down here--

[singing]

Kitty, that's the best meal I ever ate.

Well, thank you very much.

And to top it off, how about a little brandy?

Napoleon 1837.

Huh.

Well, here's to a quiet evening with no interruptions.

MAN: Let him go, boys.

Let him go.

[crash]

[laughter]

MAN: Right in the [inaudible].

[chuckling]

[glass breaking]

Um, no, you don't, you're just going to stay right here.

[grunts]

If it's anything short of murder, I'll take care of it.

[drunken singing]

[laughter]

[drunken singing]

Come on, Dobie, come on, Dobie, [inaudible].

[inaudible], Dobie.

BUCK: [SINGING] Down in the valley--

let it go-- in the valley so low.

Well, it wasn't anything, Matt.

They were just having a--

[snoring]

-- a little fun.

[drunken singing]

[snoring]

[crash]

[snoring]

[drunken singing]

[slams door]

Buy you a drink, Miss Kitty?

Here, have mine.

Oh, oh, oh.

[gasping]

SAM: Miss Kitty?

What?

Where you going?

Why?

Well it's getting late and you could be molested.

[chuckles]

Really?

[piano music playing]

[drunken singing]

[snoring]

[theme music]

NARRATOR: Stay tuned for exciting scenes

from our next "Gunsmoke."

[theme music]