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NARRATOR: "Gunsmoke," with
Milburn Stone as Doc, Amanda
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00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:18,801
Blake as Kitty, Kent
Curtis as Festus,
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00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:25,590
Buck Taylor as
Newly, and starring
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00:00:25,634 --> 00:00:27,679
James Arness as Matt Dillon.
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[music playing]
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[howling]
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[music playing]
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Sam, draw me another
beer, would you?
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SAM: Sure, Festus.
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Much obliged.
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Doc, I'll settle
up with you later.
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Well, you're looking mighty
pretty tonight, Michelle.
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Well, she sure is quiet for
a Saturday night, ain't it?
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Kind of nice, kind of nice.
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00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:43,886
What-- what time it is, anyhow?
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Why don't you get
yourself a watch?
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00:01:45,714 --> 00:01:47,194
Aw, fiddle.
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00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:50,240
I'd feel silly carrying
one of them things around.
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Watches was invented for doctors
and lawyers and such as that,
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00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:57,726
not for us Hagans.
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Well, you gonna tell me what
time it is or ain't you?
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10:15.
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Now are you satisfied?
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00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:11,000
Just pure old [inaudible]
scary, that's what it is.
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What is?
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You mean you ain't notice?
27
00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:16,397
What?
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00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,529
The quiet.
29
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Can't you hear it?
30
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There ain't been a Saturday
night this quiet in Dodge
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00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:26,929
since [inaudible] was a pup.
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How do you hear quiet?
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The onliest thing you've
got to do is listen at it.
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If you don't hear nothing,
then you're hearing quiet,
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00:02:37,635 --> 00:02:41,726
just like I've been hearing
all night long-- nothing
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00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:44,947
but thundersome quiet.
37
00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:47,515
It's just plain spooky.
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You're spooky.
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Let me tell you something, Doc.
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00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:53,390
There's something
fixing to happen.
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And when she busts
loose, it's going
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00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:58,700
to be a two-toed
turkey-tailed [inaudible],
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and you can mark
my word on that.
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00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:03,052
Well, let me tell
you something.
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You're not going to get
me all scared and excited
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just because you are.
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00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:07,143
I'm not--
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You don't have to
get all riled up, Doc.
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I am not going to sit here
and let you spoil my evening.
50
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:18,807
All right, go on, you
old grumpety grouch.
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00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:20,461
KITTY: Make sure
everybody's got a drink
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00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:21,592
and that they're all
having a good time.
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00:03:21,636 --> 00:03:22,419
Yes, Miss Kitty.
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She a new girl?
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Yes.
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Make you feel older?
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No, younger.
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00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:39,044
You better watch out, Curly.
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00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:41,917
OK, what were you and Festus
fussing about this time?
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00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,572
Oh, Festus just insists
that it's quieter around here
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00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:45,442
than usual.
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He says it's weird.
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00:03:47,488 --> 00:03:48,880
I said, well, the
only weird thing
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00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:50,360
that I can think of
around here is you,
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and that hasn't changed any.
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00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:53,407
Well, night's young.
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00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:54,625
Things'll pick up.
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00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:55,887
DOC: Where's Matt?
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00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:57,933
Oh, he had to go out
to the Martin place.
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00:03:57,976 --> 00:03:59,978
Billy came running into
town about an hour ago
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00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:02,938
and said that Lester was
beating up on his mother,
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00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:04,679
so he rode out to see
what it was all about.
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00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:05,984
DOC: Know when he'll be back?
-Nope.
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00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:06,768
Uh-uh.
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00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,734
Excuse me, a minute, Doc.
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00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:25,526
Well, what can I
do for you boys?
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00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:26,483
Evening, Miss Kitty.
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00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:27,397
Howdy.
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00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:28,355
FRED: Miss Kitty.
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00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:30,444
RED: Howdy.
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00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:32,010
Thought we'd drop in
for a drink or two.
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00:04:32,054 --> 00:04:33,055
Honest, that's all.
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00:04:33,098 --> 00:04:34,752
Uh-uh.
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00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:36,754
The last time you came
in for a drink or two
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00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:38,495
you nearly tore the place down.
86
00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:40,628
Well, we'd like to
apologize for that, ma'am.
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00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:42,325
We don't know what got into us.
88
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:43,544
That'll never happen again.
89
00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:44,849
We promise.
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00:04:44,893 --> 00:04:45,850
It's not enough.
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00:04:45,894 --> 00:04:47,504
You mean we can't stay?
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00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:48,940
You gotta let us
stay, Miss Kitty.
93
00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:52,814
We'll behave ourselves, honest.
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00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:54,032
All right.
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00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:55,991
I'll tell you what I'll do.
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00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:58,515
You can go and buy
yourself each one drink,
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00:04:58,559 --> 00:05:01,562
and then you can buy a
bottle and take it with you.
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00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:02,476
Thanks, Miss Kitty.
99
00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:03,564
You've been real kind.
100
00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:04,956
We'll just get our drink and go.
101
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,437
And if there isn't any
trouble tonight, then
102
00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:09,396
maybe the next time
you're in town,
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00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:10,701
you can stay a little longer.
104
00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:12,094
Thank you, ma'am.
Come on.
105
00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:13,356
-Thank you.
-Thank you, ma'am.
106
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:14,096
Thank you.
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00:05:14,139 --> 00:05:16,054
Come on.
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00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:18,709
ED: Bartender, can we have
a drink and one bottle?
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00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:23,584
What's the matter with you?
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00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:24,802
Those are same
fellas in here who
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00:05:24,846 --> 00:05:26,064
tore up the place a month ago.
112
00:05:26,108 --> 00:05:26,935
Yeah, that's right.
113
00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,111
What makes you think
they won't do it again?
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00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:30,112
They're not going
to be any trouble.
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00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:32,506
They're just going to
have one drink and leave.
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00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:33,724
FRED: Night, Miss Kitty.
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00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:35,030
-Night Miss Kitty.
-Night.
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00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:36,553
Good night.
119
00:05:36,597 --> 00:05:38,381
-Good night, Miss Kitty.
-Miss Kitty.
120
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:40,818
-Night.
-See?
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00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:45,736
I see, but I don't believe it.
122
00:05:48,783 --> 00:05:50,611
Why don't we just
rent a hotel room?
123
00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:52,917
That way we've got some
place to sleep afterward.
124
00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:54,963
Why don't we just
rent a hotel room?
125
00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:57,052
How much money you
think we've got?
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00:05:57,095 --> 00:05:57,922
I don't recollect.
127
00:05:57,966 --> 00:06:00,142
[inaudible]
128
00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:02,013
Unless you got a spare
gold piece on you,
129
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:04,755
you better keep your
dumb ideas to yourself.
130
00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:05,539
What do you want?
131
00:06:06,017 --> 00:06:07,584
What's the biggest
horse you ever seen?
132
00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:08,629
What kind of a question--
133
00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:10,500
No matter how big the biggest
horse you ever seen was,
134
00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:12,067
that one over there is bigger.
135
00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:14,417
[music playing]
136
00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:15,766
FRED: Hey, look at that.
137
00:06:15,810 --> 00:06:17,638
ED: Are you sure it's a horse?
138
00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:19,596
RED: It looks like a horse.
139
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,076
Ran like a horse.
140
00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:22,033
Let's go smell [inaudible].
141
00:06:22,077 --> 00:06:22,686
Wait a minute.
142
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:25,036
What's that thing on top of it?
143
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,387
[music playing]
144
00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:57,808
It's a little man!
145
00:06:57,852 --> 00:07:01,899
A little man on a giant horse.
146
00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:04,641
Makes you stop and
think, don't it?
147
00:07:04,685 --> 00:07:06,121
Think about what?
148
00:07:06,164 --> 00:07:09,516
About how sometimes you
think you know everything,
149
00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:11,474
and then one day
something happens
150
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,302
that you can't hardly explain.
151
00:07:13,345 --> 00:07:16,261
And all of a sudden
you know that you don't
152
00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:18,263
know hardly nothing at all.
153
00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:21,005
[music playing]
154
00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:22,006
Yeah.
155
00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:22,790
Uh-huh.
156
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:28,230
Let's go look at that horse.
157
00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:30,537
[music playing]
158
00:07:41,199 --> 00:07:44,202
ARIZONA: Can a guy
get a drink here?
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00:07:44,246 --> 00:07:45,682
How about a beer?
160
00:07:45,726 --> 00:07:47,858
[music playing]
161
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:51,819
I said, how about a beer?
162
00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:57,520
SAM: One beer, coming up.
163
00:07:57,564 --> 00:07:58,956
There you are.
164
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,523
That'll be 5 cents.
165
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,743
[music playing]
166
00:08:06,747 --> 00:08:09,706
[WHISPERING]: Doc, is that
there a full-grown man?
167
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:10,707
[WHISPERING]: He's a midget.
168
00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:18,280
I have never saw
me no midget before.
169
00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:19,629
You have, Kitty.
170
00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:20,369
Oh, yeah, sure.
171
00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:21,109
Sure.
172
00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:30,074
He's kind of a cute
little feller, ain't he?
173
00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:31,902
Looks like he might have
got caught out in the rain
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00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:34,383
and shrank up.
-Shh!
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00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:36,820
[WHISPERING]: I didn't mean
nothing bad, Miss Kitty.
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00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:39,083
I ain't so perty my own self.
177
00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:42,043
Well, I don't think
anybody ever noticed that.
178
00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:44,915
All right, go on
and hoo-rah me.
179
00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:47,222
Did you look at that
there little old man?
180
00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:50,747
And he's a-huffing and a-puffing
like he run all the way here
181
00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:52,401
clean from Abilene.
182
00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:54,272
What are you gonna
do about that?
183
00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:57,841
[gasping]
184
00:08:57,885 --> 00:08:59,190
He is breathing
pretty hard, Doc.
185
00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:00,191
Do you suppose he's all right?
186
00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:04,587
Well, I better go see about it.
187
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:08,243
Doc-- can I go with you?
188
00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:12,073
I ain't never swapped words
with no midget before.
189
00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:15,119
Well, a couple things
you ought to know about
190
00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:16,294
midgets first, [inaudible].
191
00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:17,382
What's that?
192
00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:19,036
Don't pick him up.
193
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,299
FESTUS: Oh, I wasn't
fixing to pick him up, Doc.
194
00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:23,954
Well, I just didn't want you to
do anything stupid, that's all.
195
00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:26,087
Well, you blamed
old scudder, I just
196
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:28,611
don't go around picking up every
little shrank-up feller I see,
197
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:29,830
you know.
-What a minute.
198
00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:30,700
There's more.
199
00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:33,268
[WHISPERING] Don't
call him a midget.
200
00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:34,661
Well, what's he
want to be called?
201
00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:35,966
His name.
202
00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:38,839
By his name, like you
do or anybody does.
203
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:40,797
How does it come
that all of a sudden
204
00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:42,146
you know so blame much about--
205
00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:43,278
DOC: Shh!
206
00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:43,844
[WHISPERING]: --midgets?
207
00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:50,111
Didn't you ever tell
him about me, Kitty?
208
00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:51,329
What?
209
00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:52,461
No, I never told him.
210
00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:53,984
What's that?
211
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:57,074
Well, I was raised by
a herd of wild midgets.
212
00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:12,350
You all right?
213
00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:13,656
Can I get you another drink?
214
00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:18,269
How come you're
breathing so hard?
215
00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:20,750
Been riding all day.
216
00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:22,360
Had to get here before midnight.
217
00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:26,364
Oh, well, I think
that, uh, you made it.
218
00:10:26,408 --> 00:10:30,064
Yeah, a little over
an hour to spare.
219
00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:31,326
What's your name?
220
00:10:31,369 --> 00:10:32,414
Arizona.
221
00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:34,198
Who are you?
222
00:10:34,242 --> 00:10:39,029
Well, this here is Doc Adams,
and that there is Miss Kitty.
223
00:10:39,073 --> 00:10:39,943
Kitty?
224
00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:43,512
Most unusual name
I've ever come across.
225
00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:46,210
Well, my real
name's, uh, Kathleen.
226
00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:47,472
Kitty's just a nickname.
227
00:10:47,516 --> 00:10:49,866
Kitty-- suits you.
228
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,523
Didn't catch your name.
229
00:10:54,566 --> 00:10:56,133
Folks call me Festus.
230
00:10:56,177 --> 00:10:58,483
How come?
231
00:10:58,527 --> 00:11:00,398
Because that's my name.
232
00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:04,054
Throw it at me again.
233
00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:05,055
Festus.
234
00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:07,057
Fes-tus?
235
00:11:07,101 --> 00:11:08,537
Sounds like a cold sore.
236
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:09,494
It sure does.
237
00:11:09,538 --> 00:11:10,887
Oh, hush up.
238
00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:11,975
[laughter]
239
00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:15,762
You're spouting off pretty
big for such a little feller.
240
00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:20,114
Uh, Arizona, why'd you have to
get to Dodge before midnight?
241
00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:21,898
I need help.
242
00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:24,988
I mean, I really need help.
243
00:11:25,032 --> 00:11:27,251
Well, what kind of
help do you need?
244
00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:28,426
I don't know.
245
00:11:28,470 --> 00:11:30,037
What I mean is, I do know.
246
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,518
But I just don't
know how to tell you.
247
00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:37,392
Well, now, we just all better
sit down and talk about this.
248
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,919
Beatrice?
249
00:11:42,963 --> 00:11:43,528
Yes, Miss Kitty?
250
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:47,315
A round of drinks on the house.
251
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:49,317
I never saw a Beatrice
that look like that before.
252
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:53,016
Now tell me, just--
just what's your trouble?
253
00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:54,496
What-- what can
we do to help you?
254
00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:55,932
Are you in trouble or something?
255
00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:57,586
I ain't never
been in no trouble.
256
00:11:57,629 --> 00:11:59,283
Then why do you need help?
257
00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:00,937
I'm sick.
258
00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:02,156
I'm so sick, Doc.
259
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,770
What's wrong?
260
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,250
See these?
261
00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:12,775
These is tears I'm crying.
262
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,995
You know why I'm crying?
263
00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:17,606
I'm not crying because I'm sick.
264
00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:19,913
I'm crying because when
I tell you why I'm sick,
265
00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:21,915
you won't believe me.
266
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:23,743
No one ever believes
me until it's too late.
267
00:12:27,921 --> 00:12:31,272
Well, what's that
there supposed to mean?
268
00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:33,143
It's very complicated.
269
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:34,797
What time is it, Doc?
270
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:39,019
Well, probably
about, uh, 11 o'clock.
271
00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:40,542
That's exactly what it is.
272
00:12:40,585 --> 00:12:42,500
Only got an hour to go.
273
00:12:42,544 --> 00:12:44,633
KITTY: Until what?
274
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,330
I gotta find somebody
to take care of me.
275
00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:51,466
Take care of you?
276
00:12:51,509 --> 00:12:55,165
For tonight, till sunup.
277
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:59,300
I need a large barn, two
or three bales of hay,
278
00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:02,999
and somebody to take care of me.
279
00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:07,090
Arizona, exactly
what is your problem?
280
00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:09,919
Oh, I don't think you'd
understand, Miss Kitty.
281
00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:12,661
I get a little
rambunctious sometimes.
282
00:13:12,704 --> 00:13:20,277
But I'm willing to offer
to any man $50-- $50
283
00:13:20,321 --> 00:13:24,064
to any man for one night's work.
284
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:25,674
Here you are.
285
00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:29,025
$50 to anyone who will
take care of me tonight.
286
00:13:29,069 --> 00:13:31,375
$50 is a lot of money.
287
00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:35,553
Why don't you go draw
a beer or something?
288
00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:38,252
I just don't know
how to explain it.
289
00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:39,209
I should give up trying.
290
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:42,343
FESTUS: Well, go ahead
on and spit it out.
291
00:13:42,386 --> 00:13:45,607
At least tell us why you need
somebody to take care of you.
292
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:51,613
Because-- because there's going
to be a full moon out tonight.
293
00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:54,355
And what in thunder's a
full moon got to do with it?
294
00:13:54,398 --> 00:13:56,009
See?
295
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:58,533
Already you're finding
it hard to believe.
296
00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:01,971
I barely get started
explaining to somebody,
297
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:04,104
and already they
think I'm crazy.
298
00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:07,455
Ain't nobody said nothing
about you being crazy.
299
00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:10,458
You ain't hardly even
told us nothing yet.
300
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:11,894
Oh, what's the use?
301
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:13,591
What's the use?
302
00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:16,072
How can we help you
if you don't tell
303
00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:17,552
us what's the matter with you?
304
00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:19,119
That's right.
305
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:21,034
If you'll just tell us
how, we'll do everything
306
00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:23,036
we can to help you.
-Really?
307
00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:25,603
Well, of course.
What in thunder is it?
308
00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:28,345
Nobody's ever offered
to help me before.
309
00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:30,434
They either laugh
or made fun of me.
310
00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:32,088
Now I'm scared to tell you.
311
00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:35,657
Oh, I give up.
312
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:39,095
Arizona, do you want us
to help you or don't you?
313
00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:41,271
I need somebody to
take care of me tonight,
314
00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:47,234
because, well, because, I'm--
I'm-- I'm a were-elephant.
315
00:14:47,277 --> 00:14:49,323
[music playing]
316
00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:54,458
What's a were-elephant?
317
00:14:54,502 --> 00:14:57,113
You heard of
werewolves, haven't you--
318
00:14:57,157 --> 00:15:00,290
men who turn into wolves
by the light of the moon?
319
00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:03,293
Well, I'm a were-elephant.
320
00:15:03,337 --> 00:15:08,385
And tonight-- tonight, there's
going to be a full moon.
321
00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:09,386
[muttering]
322
00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:11,911
[music playing]
323
00:15:36,718 --> 00:15:39,329
Look at them feet.
324
00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:41,810
I wonder what something
like this weighs.
325
00:15:41,853 --> 00:15:45,118
How would anybody
ever figure that out?
326
00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:46,684
Hey, look at the
size of them teeth.
327
00:15:46,728 --> 00:15:49,165
Look at this tiny
little old saddle.
328
00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:51,559
I wonder what a horse
like this would cost.
329
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:53,648
Who'd ever want to
buy a horse this big?
330
00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:56,129
That little old
man, that's who.
331
00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:58,609
Must make him feel real
important, sitting up there
332
00:15:58,653 --> 00:16:02,352
looking down on us tall people.
333
00:16:02,396 --> 00:16:04,137
I wonder why he come into town?
334
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:06,487
Well, maybe he's
just thirsty like us.
335
00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:10,012
You know, I never seen a
real little man close before.
336
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:11,666
Well, let's give a look on him.
337
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:14,190
Miss Kitty said we couldn't
come in there no more.
338
00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:15,800
Ain't nothing wrong with
just looking through the door.
339
00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:17,715
Of course not.
340
00:16:17,759 --> 00:16:19,152
Come on.
341
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:21,328
Come on.
342
00:16:21,371 --> 00:16:28,117
[chatter]
343
00:16:28,161 --> 00:16:29,553
Someone get shot?
344
00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:31,381
We was standing
right over there.
345
00:16:31,425 --> 00:16:34,080
If someone got shot, we'd
have heard it for sure.
346
00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:36,256
Bet that little man's
right in the middle.
347
00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:38,040
[chatter]
348
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:43,654
Quiet!
349
00:16:43,698 --> 00:16:45,308
Quiet!
350
00:16:45,352 --> 00:16:47,354
Everybody quiet!
351
00:16:47,397 --> 00:16:49,269
This happens all the time.
352
00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:52,054
You claim that every
month, on the first night
353
00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:55,840
of the full moon, at midnight
you turn into an elephant.
354
00:16:55,884 --> 00:16:58,191
Now, how do you expect
us to believe that?
355
00:16:58,234 --> 00:17:01,455
Kitty, I never expected
you to believe me.
356
00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:05,372
Not once did I ever expect
anyone to believe me.
357
00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:06,851
I know better.
358
00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:10,420
Well, what makes you think
you turn into an elephant?
359
00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:12,857
Because I just know, that all.
360
00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:15,904
It's happened to me
over and over again.
361
00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:17,775
Look, what's the use?
362
00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:20,474
I was crazy to come here.
363
00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:24,608
I could sit in that chair and
talk to you up till midnight.
364
00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,175
I could tell you
that I've turned
365
00:17:26,219 --> 00:17:30,223
into an elephant for the
past 11 months in a row.
366
00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:33,400
I could tell you about
perfectly good poker hands
367
00:17:33,443 --> 00:17:36,185
that I've ruined by
turning into an elephant.
368
00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:38,709
I could tell you
a lot of things.
369
00:17:38,753 --> 00:17:41,321
But you would never
believe any of them.
370
00:17:41,364 --> 00:17:43,888
Now if you'll excuse
me, I've got to go
371
00:17:43,932 --> 00:17:45,499
and lock myself in a corral.
372
00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:47,762
Now, just a minute.
373
00:17:47,805 --> 00:17:50,199
Now, really, don't you
think you'd be more
374
00:17:50,243 --> 00:17:52,636
comfortable in a hotel room?
-Oh, no.
375
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,595
I need a lot of open space.
376
00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:56,336
What for?
377
00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:59,339
How do you expect to get an
elephant out of a hotel room?
378
00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:02,907
There isn't a door in the
world big enough to go through.
379
00:18:02,951 --> 00:18:05,606
And now I'd like to thank
everyone for their time.
380
00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:07,477
I'm sorry to have bothered you.
381
00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:08,652
Miss Kitty.
382
00:18:08,696 --> 00:18:10,828
[music playing]
383
00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:19,315
He pert near makes you want
to believe him, don't he?
384
00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:20,186
You, maybe.
385
00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:21,491
Not me.
386
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:23,319
Why don't you go have a drink?
387
00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:26,192
Oh, much obliged, Doc.
388
00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:29,847
I told you it was too dadgum
quiet tonight, didn't I?
389
00:18:29,891 --> 00:18:31,980
Quiet didn't have a
thing to do with it.
390
00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:35,244
That little fella was
making plenty of noise.
391
00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:37,899
If you think he
was noisy just then,
392
00:18:37,942 --> 00:18:40,380
wait till he starts
turning into a elephant.
393
00:18:40,423 --> 00:18:41,381
[laughter]
394
00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:43,252
[music playing]
395
00:18:45,907 --> 00:18:48,301
[laughter]
396
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:49,476
Oh ho!
397
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:51,391
That little old man
sure is strange.
398
00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:52,522
Yeah, Ed.
399
00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:54,394
Ed, what did he
say he turned into?
400
00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:55,569
An elephant.
401
00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:57,223
Yeah, what's an elephant?
402
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:58,615
Well, I don't ever recall
seeing one in these parts.
403
00:18:58,659 --> 00:19:00,704
Well, I heard tell of 'em.
404
00:19:00,748 --> 00:19:02,184
No kidding.
405
00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:03,403
Well, I never seen one.
406
00:19:03,446 --> 00:19:04,969
I just heard of 'em.
407
00:19:05,013 --> 00:19:10,366
My cousin Dudley, well, he
seen one once in the circus.
408
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:11,889
What's a circus?
409
00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:13,717
Well, I didn't ask
him what a circus was.
410
00:19:13,761 --> 00:19:15,719
He was too busy telling
me about the elephant.
411
00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:17,373
He says elephant's
the biggest animal
412
00:19:17,417 --> 00:19:18,679
there is in the whole world.
413
00:19:18,722 --> 00:19:19,897
It's even bigger than
that little man's horse.
414
00:19:22,987 --> 00:19:25,686
RED: I wonder where that
little old man went off to.
415
00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:26,687
Well, who cares.
416
00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:28,471
I-- I think he's tetched.
417
00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:30,386
I kind of liked him.
418
00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:32,040
Y'all want to hear about
the elephant or not?
419
00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:33,737
-I do.
-Well, I don't.
420
00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:36,392
Let's get started
on that bottle.
421
00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:37,741
I clear forget.
422
00:19:37,785 --> 00:19:40,048
What in blue blazes we
doing standing here?
423
00:19:40,091 --> 00:19:42,790
Ain't you gonna finish
explaining about that elephant?
424
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:43,617
First things first.
425
00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:45,575
We got to find us a
place to get drunk.
426
00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:47,795
I seen us a barn over there.
427
00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:48,709
Oh, look at that.
428
00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:56,412
What's he doing down there?
429
00:19:56,456 --> 00:19:57,761
Just sitting all alone.
430
00:19:57,805 --> 00:20:00,503
Oh, he looks lower
than a gopher's gut.
431
00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:02,549
He don't look none
too happy, does he?
432
00:20:02,592 --> 00:20:04,725
Well, we can't all be happy.
433
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:06,422
Think he's all right?
434
00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:09,599
Why is everybody so worried
about that little runt?
435
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,949
One thing I know-- when
a man gets that low,
436
00:20:11,993 --> 00:20:14,082
it's sure nice to have
someone to talk to.
437
00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:14,996
That's right.
438
00:20:15,475 --> 00:20:17,651
Ain't nothing worse than
to have the melancholies
439
00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:19,522
on a Saturday night.
440
00:20:19,566 --> 00:20:20,784
Let's offer him a drink.
441
00:20:20,828 --> 00:20:21,698
Are you crazy?
442
00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:23,352
That's all we got.
443
00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:28,531
You got the heart of a
horny toad, you know that?
444
00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:29,532
Come on, Ed.
445
00:20:41,501 --> 00:20:42,806
Howdy.
446
00:20:42,850 --> 00:20:43,720
Oh, my name's Ed.
447
00:20:44,112 --> 00:20:45,809
This here's Red, and
that there is Fred.
448
00:20:45,853 --> 00:20:47,855
Howdy.
449
00:20:47,898 --> 00:20:52,033
Ed, Red, Fred-- this
sure is a town for names.
450
00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:57,865
[laughter]
451
00:20:57,908 --> 00:20:59,562
FRED: We seen you
over in the saloon.
452
00:20:59,606 --> 00:21:01,434
Yeah, we thought you
might like to have
453
00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:03,653
yourself a little old drink.
454
00:21:03,697 --> 00:21:07,309
Yeah, I sure would.
455
00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:08,963
If you really don't
want a drink, that's OK.
456
00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:10,094
Oh no.
457
00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:13,010
I'd like a drink better than
anything in the whole world--
458
00:21:13,054 --> 00:21:15,970
almost.
459
00:21:16,013 --> 00:21:17,363
FRED: Hope you like rotgut.
460
00:21:17,406 --> 00:21:21,541
Heh-- love it.
461
00:21:21,584 --> 00:21:23,673
What time it is now, Doc?
462
00:21:23,717 --> 00:21:24,848
I'm not going to tell you.
463
00:21:24,892 --> 00:21:27,416
I-- I'm getting sick of it.
464
00:21:27,460 --> 00:21:29,984
Festus, five minutes ago it
was 20 minutes till midnight.
465
00:21:30,027 --> 00:21:33,335
So it must be 15
minutes to midnight now.
466
00:21:33,379 --> 00:21:36,164
Well, dollar bill, I don't
mean to keep asking, Miss Kitty,
467
00:21:36,207 --> 00:21:40,037
but I'm getting to worrying
about that little feller
468
00:21:40,081 --> 00:21:40,864
Arizona.
469
00:21:41,430 --> 00:21:43,998
Maybe we'd ought to have
tried to keep him here.
470
00:21:44,041 --> 00:21:44,868
How?
471
00:21:44,912 --> 00:21:45,782
Tie him to a chair?
472
00:21:46,261 --> 00:21:48,698
That ain't what I mean
at all, and you know it.
473
00:21:48,742 --> 00:21:50,178
He hasn't done anything wrong.
474
00:21:50,221 --> 00:21:51,832
We don't have any
right to hold him.
475
00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:54,530
Well, maybe so,
Miss Kitty, but I--
476
00:21:54,574 --> 00:21:58,969
I can't help thinking that
here it is, pert nigh midnight,
477
00:21:59,013 --> 00:22:02,451
and right here in
Dodge this very minute
478
00:22:02,495 --> 00:22:09,632
they's a little bitty old feller
a-sitting all alone by hisself,
479
00:22:09,676 --> 00:22:14,071
a-waiting to turn
into a elephant.
480
00:22:14,115 --> 00:22:16,509
I just wish Matthew
would get back.
481
00:22:16,552 --> 00:22:18,075
He'd know what to do.
482
00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:20,426
[music playing]
483
00:22:44,232 --> 00:22:45,233
Ooh!
484
00:22:45,276 --> 00:22:46,495
Ooh!
485
00:22:46,539 --> 00:22:47,583
Ooh!
486
00:22:47,627 --> 00:22:48,932
You-- you all right?
487
00:22:48,976 --> 00:22:50,586
It won't be long now.
488
00:22:50,630 --> 00:22:52,501
The teeth are getting soft.
489
00:22:52,545 --> 00:22:53,937
That's the first sign.
490
00:22:53,981 --> 00:22:56,157
You men have got to make
up your minds right away.
491
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,942
Now, you say all we got to
do is keep you in that barn
492
00:22:58,986 --> 00:22:59,856
till sunup?
493
00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:00,596
That's it.
494
00:23:01,075 --> 00:23:04,165
And we get $25 now
and $25 at sunup?
495
00:23:04,208 --> 00:23:05,427
Each?
496
00:23:05,471 --> 00:23:06,297
That's right.
497
00:23:06,776 --> 00:23:08,256
And you get to the keep
the money even if I
498
00:23:08,299 --> 00:23:09,518
don't turn into an elephant.
499
00:23:09,562 --> 00:23:11,128
Well, what if you do?
500
00:23:11,172 --> 00:23:12,478
You don't think he can, do you?
501
00:23:12,521 --> 00:23:14,610
That's not the point.
502
00:23:14,654 --> 00:23:16,873
Point is we get 50 bucks just
for staying in that old barn
503
00:23:16,917 --> 00:23:17,526
all night.
504
00:23:17,918 --> 00:23:19,789
And we was gonna
do that anyways.
505
00:23:19,833 --> 00:23:21,138
And it's legal, too.
506
00:23:21,182 --> 00:23:23,271
Are them there
elephants very dangerous?
507
00:23:23,314 --> 00:23:25,665
Not if you take care of them.
508
00:23:25,708 --> 00:23:30,191
I'm usually just as
gentle as a newborn calf.
509
00:23:30,234 --> 00:23:32,193
Well, how do you take care
of one of them elephants?
510
00:23:32,236 --> 00:23:34,630
That's the most important
part of our deal.
511
00:23:34,674 --> 00:23:36,980
You got to promise to
take good care of me.
512
00:23:37,024 --> 00:23:38,155
But how?
513
00:23:38,199 --> 00:23:38,939
That's easy.
514
00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:41,202
Just make sure that
I get plenty of hay,
515
00:23:41,245 --> 00:23:42,464
green apples, and water.
516
00:23:42,508 --> 00:23:44,814
Where would we
get green apples?
517
00:23:44,858 --> 00:23:47,164
I had them shipped
in for the occasion.
518
00:23:47,208 --> 00:23:48,862
They should be down at the
freight office right now.
519
00:23:48,905 --> 00:23:51,212
Well, that don't
sound too hard.
520
00:23:51,255 --> 00:23:52,082
It ain't.
521
00:23:52,605 --> 00:23:53,823
But you've got to promise
to take care of me
522
00:23:53,867 --> 00:23:56,130
till I turn back into myself.
523
00:23:56,173 --> 00:23:59,002
That's why I'm hiring
you-- to take care of me,
524
00:23:59,046 --> 00:24:00,917
because I'm going to change.
525
00:24:00,961 --> 00:24:02,658
I don't care if you
don't believe me,
526
00:24:02,702 --> 00:24:05,052
'cause I'm going
to change, and I
527
00:24:05,095 --> 00:24:09,796
need somebody to take care of
me till I turn back into myself.
528
00:24:09,839 --> 00:24:10,884
At sunup.
529
00:24:10,927 --> 00:24:13,190
ARIZONA: At sunup.
530
00:24:13,234 --> 00:24:15,541
Oh, what about
that giant horse?
531
00:24:15,584 --> 00:24:16,498
ARIZONA: Oh, yes.
532
00:24:16,542 --> 00:24:17,630
That's Homer.
533
00:24:17,673 --> 00:24:19,109
He's part of the deal.
534
00:24:19,153 --> 00:24:22,025
You take of me and you
take care of Homer.
535
00:24:22,069 --> 00:24:24,027
And when I'm an elephant,
I ain't hard to handle
536
00:24:24,071 --> 00:24:26,290
when Homer's around.
537
00:24:26,334 --> 00:24:28,684
Well?
538
00:24:28,728 --> 00:24:30,643
I think that's the most
reasonable offer I've heard.
539
00:24:30,686 --> 00:24:32,035
You can count me in.
540
00:24:32,079 --> 00:24:33,950
Me too.
541
00:24:33,994 --> 00:24:35,691
What about you?
542
00:24:35,735 --> 00:24:37,519
Well, it can't hurt nothing.
543
00:24:37,563 --> 00:24:38,259
Good.
544
00:24:38,302 --> 00:24:39,782
Good.
545
00:24:39,826 --> 00:24:41,567
You men have made me the
happiest were-elephant
546
00:24:41,610 --> 00:24:43,090
in the whole world.
547
00:24:43,133 --> 00:24:44,874
Well, I'm glad.
548
00:24:44,918 --> 00:24:49,618
I'll never forget
you, I promise.
549
00:24:49,662 --> 00:24:57,321
Here's your money-- $75 to
divide amongst yourself.
550
00:24:57,365 --> 00:25:00,977
Ooh-- ooh, ooh.
551
00:25:01,021 --> 00:25:03,066
This is it.
552
00:25:03,110 --> 00:25:05,852
It's time.
553
00:25:05,895 --> 00:25:08,637
Don't forget your promise to me.
554
00:25:08,681 --> 00:25:09,986
I'll see you in the morning.
555
00:25:10,030 --> 00:25:10,987
Ooh!
556
00:25:11,031 --> 00:25:13,163
[music playing]
557
00:25:18,604 --> 00:25:22,042
We got 20, 25, and other 20.
558
00:25:22,085 --> 00:25:25,219
That's, uh-- 45--
559
00:25:25,262 --> 00:25:26,699
[elephant noise]
560
00:25:26,742 --> 00:25:28,222
[elephant noise]
561
00:25:28,265 --> 00:25:30,529
[music playing]
562
00:26:08,915 --> 00:26:10,786
Darned if he didn't do it.
563
00:26:10,830 --> 00:26:12,919
[music playing]
564
00:26:36,377 --> 00:26:39,336
[elephant noise]
565
00:26:39,380 --> 00:26:41,251
[chatter]
566
00:26:41,295 --> 00:26:44,124
[elephant noise]
567
00:26:53,437 --> 00:26:56,092
Doc, did you hear that?
568
00:26:56,136 --> 00:26:57,920
Hear what?
569
00:26:57,964 --> 00:27:00,183
Sounded like somebody
a-tootin' a bugle.
570
00:27:00,227 --> 00:27:03,404
A bugle?
571
00:27:03,447 --> 00:27:05,232
How much you had to drink?
572
00:27:05,275 --> 00:27:09,497
Well, I ain't had enough to
make me hear things like that.
573
00:27:09,540 --> 00:27:11,412
What time is it, Doc?
574
00:27:11,455 --> 00:27:13,283
Oh, not again,
for heaven's sakes.
575
00:27:13,327 --> 00:27:16,417
Now listen to me.
576
00:27:16,460 --> 00:27:18,201
You see that clock there?
577
00:27:18,245 --> 00:27:20,813
Now, I'm going to tell you
what time it is by that clock.
578
00:27:20,856 --> 00:27:22,379
And I'm going to tell
you once and that's all.
579
00:27:22,423 --> 00:27:26,035
It is 1 and 1/2
minutes after midnight,
580
00:27:26,079 --> 00:27:29,038
and that is time everybody
ought to be in bed.
581
00:27:29,082 --> 00:27:29,952
But wait a minute, Doc.
582
00:27:30,387 --> 00:27:33,390
Ain't you gonna wait
for Matthew to get back?
583
00:27:33,434 --> 00:27:36,959
I certainly am not!
584
00:27:37,003 --> 00:27:37,743
Drunk.
585
00:27:51,365 --> 00:27:54,368
Arizona?
586
00:27:54,411 --> 00:27:56,892
No wonder that little
fellow was yelling.
587
00:27:56,936 --> 00:27:59,155
Must hurt something awful
to get stretched like that.
588
00:27:59,199 --> 00:28:00,896
Arizona, you in there?
589
00:28:00,940 --> 00:28:02,202
Naw, he can't hear you.
590
00:28:02,245 --> 00:28:03,290
Arizona?
591
00:28:03,333 --> 00:28:05,074
His ears is up there.
592
00:28:05,118 --> 00:28:05,858
Oh.
593
00:28:09,252 --> 00:28:10,253
What are you doing?
594
00:28:10,297 --> 00:28:11,733
I'm gonna give
him some of this.
595
00:28:11,777 --> 00:28:12,865
Arizona likes rotgut.
596
00:28:12,908 --> 00:28:14,736
I don't think that's smart.
597
00:28:14,780 --> 00:28:15,868
Do you think that's smart?
598
00:28:15,911 --> 00:28:17,478
I don't think
that's smart at all.
599
00:28:17,521 --> 00:28:18,435
I don't think that's smart.
600
00:28:18,958 --> 00:28:21,134
You know, we better get
that giant horse in here.
601
00:28:21,177 --> 00:28:22,091
Well, sure.
602
00:28:22,657 --> 00:28:24,485
He said that-- that horse
helped keep him company.
603
00:28:24,528 --> 00:28:26,095
What do you think?
604
00:28:26,139 --> 00:28:27,793
Yeah, I think it's a good idea.
605
00:28:27,836 --> 00:28:29,577
Now, we're going to stay
here and watch the elephant.
606
00:28:29,620 --> 00:28:30,926
You go on out and get Homer.
607
00:28:35,365 --> 00:28:37,324
[elephant noise]
608
00:28:37,367 --> 00:28:39,456
[music playing]
609
00:29:02,001 --> 00:29:02,915
Back up, Homer.
610
00:29:02,958 --> 00:29:03,785
[elephant noise]
611
00:29:03,829 --> 00:29:05,091
Back up.
612
00:29:05,134 --> 00:29:05,961
[elephant noise]
613
00:29:06,005 --> 00:29:07,484
[inaudible]
614
00:29:07,528 --> 00:29:09,312
You better go on down
to the freight office
615
00:29:09,356 --> 00:29:10,183
and get them apples.
616
00:29:10,705 --> 00:29:12,011
We'll stay here and take
care of this elephant.
617
00:29:12,054 --> 00:29:13,490
But it's my turn to
watch the elephant.
618
00:29:13,534 --> 00:29:14,404
I just went to get Homer.
619
00:29:14,970 --> 00:29:16,406
There ain't nothing worse
than hungry elephant.
620
00:29:16,450 --> 00:29:17,843
Now get!
621
00:29:17,886 --> 00:29:18,974
I knew we shouldn't
have taken this job.
622
00:29:19,018 --> 00:29:20,410
I just knew it.
623
00:29:20,454 --> 00:29:22,282
[music playing]
624
00:29:25,372 --> 00:29:26,982
[laughter]
625
00:29:27,026 --> 00:29:28,810
Hey now, just take it easy.
Don't worry.
626
00:29:28,854 --> 00:29:30,246
We sent him after them apples.
627
00:29:30,290 --> 00:29:31,204
Ha ha ha!
628
00:29:31,247 --> 00:29:33,467
What in tarnation is--
629
00:29:33,510 --> 00:29:34,511
Oh, howdy.
630
00:29:34,555 --> 00:29:37,558
This here is an elephant.
631
00:29:37,601 --> 00:29:39,995
I know what it is, but
where'd it come from?
632
00:29:40,039 --> 00:29:42,171
Oh, now that you
ain't going to believe.
633
00:29:42,215 --> 00:29:43,520
Try me.
634
00:29:43,564 --> 00:29:45,305
Well, didn't you see
that little old man down
635
00:29:45,348 --> 00:29:46,915
at the saloon a while back?
636
00:29:46,959 --> 00:29:48,134
What little old man?
637
00:29:48,612 --> 00:29:52,529
Arizona, he called himself--
not more than 3, 4, feet tall.
638
00:29:52,573 --> 00:29:54,967
A little man 3 or 4 feet tall?
639
00:29:55,010 --> 00:29:55,663
Yep.
640
00:29:55,706 --> 00:29:57,186
That's him.
641
00:29:57,230 --> 00:30:00,276
This here elephant used
to be a sawed-off cowboy.
642
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,322
Oh, sure, sure.
643
00:30:02,365 --> 00:30:04,498
Did you ever hear anything
like that in your whole life?
644
00:30:04,541 --> 00:30:06,848
MATT: No, I can't say as I have.
645
00:30:06,892 --> 00:30:08,415
Purity of fact.
646
00:30:08,458 --> 00:30:10,547
Uh-huh.
647
00:30:10,591 --> 00:30:11,940
He don't believe us.
648
00:30:11,984 --> 00:30:12,985
Oh, sure.
649
00:30:13,028 --> 00:30:14,029
Sure I do.
650
00:30:14,595 --> 00:30:17,337
Listen-- this thing don't
happen too often, you know.
651
00:30:17,380 --> 00:30:20,122
Could be the most
important thing in history.
652
00:30:20,166 --> 00:30:23,169
Did, uh, you see him change?
653
00:30:23,212 --> 00:30:23,909
Yeah.
654
00:30:24,387 --> 00:30:25,475
One minute he was
a tiny little man.
655
00:30:25,519 --> 00:30:27,042
The next minute-- pow!
656
00:30:27,086 --> 00:30:28,043
He changed.
657
00:30:28,087 --> 00:30:30,306
Right before our eyes.
658
00:30:30,350 --> 00:30:32,395
[elephant noise]
659
00:30:32,439 --> 00:30:35,529
I wish Red would hurry
back with them apples.
660
00:30:35,572 --> 00:30:37,966
All right, just take it easy.
661
00:30:38,010 --> 00:30:40,055
Take it easy, Arizona.
662
00:30:40,099 --> 00:30:41,927
[music playing]
663
00:31:00,032 --> 00:31:01,424
[elephant noise]
664
00:31:01,468 --> 00:31:03,949
[music playing]
665
00:31:09,650 --> 00:31:11,304
-All right, now, now.
-Whoa, now.
666
00:31:11,347 --> 00:31:12,435
That's it.
Take it easy, Arizona.
667
00:31:12,479 --> 00:31:13,523
Be gentle, Arizona.
668
00:31:13,567 --> 00:31:14,481
All right, all right.
669
00:31:14,524 --> 00:31:15,482
Watch out for his nose.
670
00:31:15,525 --> 00:31:17,136
[inaudible]
671
00:31:17,179 --> 00:31:18,050
Don't worry about it.
672
00:31:18,572 --> 00:31:20,269
Red'll be here with those
apples pretty quick.
673
00:31:20,313 --> 00:31:21,923
Why don't you just tie him up?
674
00:31:21,967 --> 00:31:23,925
Why don't you just tell us how?
675
00:31:23,969 --> 00:31:24,883
Well, it's your elephant.
676
00:31:26,493 --> 00:31:27,494
That's all right.
677
00:31:27,537 --> 00:31:28,495
Now take it easy.
678
00:31:28,538 --> 00:31:29,452
Easy, now.
679
00:31:29,496 --> 00:31:30,366
Easy, now.
680
00:31:30,410 --> 00:31:31,672
That's it.
681
00:31:31,715 --> 00:31:32,760
That's it.
682
00:31:32,803 --> 00:31:34,631
[elephant noise]
683
00:31:45,686 --> 00:31:47,383
[elephant noise]
684
00:31:47,427 --> 00:31:48,689
[elephant noise]
685
00:31:48,732 --> 00:31:50,386
[crash]
686
00:31:50,430 --> 00:31:52,345
[elephant noise]
687
00:31:52,388 --> 00:31:54,521
[music playing]
688
00:31:56,697 --> 00:31:58,525
[elephant noise]
689
00:32:00,353 --> 00:32:01,615
[elephant noise]
690
00:32:05,401 --> 00:32:06,576
[elephant noise]
691
00:32:10,406 --> 00:32:11,712
[elephant noise]
692
00:32:11,755 --> 00:32:15,020
[music playing]
693
00:32:32,341 --> 00:32:40,306
[chatter]
694
00:32:40,349 --> 00:32:42,482
[music playing]
695
00:33:15,297 --> 00:33:19,867
[howling]
696
00:33:19,910 --> 00:33:25,525
[chatter]
697
00:33:25,568 --> 00:33:28,310
Move back, now, Arizona
needs lots of air, right, Red?
698
00:33:28,354 --> 00:33:28,963
RED: That's right.
699
00:33:29,268 --> 00:33:30,573
Try to keep it down, folks.
700
00:33:30,617 --> 00:33:31,487
Try to keep it down.
701
00:33:31,531 --> 00:33:33,272
Just keep back, folks.
702
00:33:33,315 --> 00:33:36,753
Just keep back.
703
00:33:36,797 --> 00:33:38,233
So when'd you
just see the change
704
00:33:38,277 --> 00:33:39,495
start to coming over him?
705
00:33:39,930 --> 00:33:43,151
Well, he gave a beller down
by the barn, and there he was.
706
00:33:43,195 --> 00:33:47,373
Oh, excuse us.
707
00:33:47,416 --> 00:33:48,200
Come on, elephant.
708
00:33:52,508 --> 00:33:54,815
This here is the
most excitingest thing
709
00:33:54,858 --> 00:33:57,252
that's ever hit Dodge, Burke.
710
00:33:57,296 --> 00:33:58,558
You don't believe it, do you?
711
00:33:58,601 --> 00:33:59,428
Don't you?
712
00:33:59,472 --> 00:34:01,256
Of course not.
713
00:34:01,300 --> 00:34:03,519
Well, what in the tarnation
you been standing around here
714
00:34:03,563 --> 00:34:05,130
all night for, then?
715
00:34:05,173 --> 00:34:06,087
Well, I just--
716
00:34:06,566 --> 00:34:08,524
Just because you ain't
got nothing better to do,
717
00:34:08,568 --> 00:34:09,438
is that it?
718
00:34:09,482 --> 00:34:10,613
Yeah, that's right.
719
00:34:10,657 --> 00:34:11,919
I ain't got nothing
better to do.
720
00:34:11,962 --> 00:34:16,271
Yeah, that's the onliest
reason I'm here, too.
721
00:34:16,315 --> 00:34:17,881
Wonder where old
Doc went off to?
722
00:34:17,925 --> 00:34:19,492
He's missing everything.
723
00:34:19,535 --> 00:34:21,102
Well, I thought you heard?
724
00:34:21,146 --> 00:34:23,539
Ed Crocker broke his arm
and Doc went out to fix it.
725
00:34:23,583 --> 00:34:24,497
Well, how did he do that?
726
00:34:24,540 --> 00:34:25,150
Oh, I don't know.
727
00:34:25,672 --> 00:34:26,847
I guess you just
pull the arm out,
728
00:34:26,890 --> 00:34:27,891
and then you straighten
out the bones
729
00:34:27,935 --> 00:34:28,718
and then you put it in a splint.
730
00:34:29,110 --> 00:34:31,199
Burke, that ain't
what I asked you.
731
00:34:31,243 --> 00:34:33,636
What I want to know
is-- just, never mind.
732
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:34,724
Forget it.
Forget it.
733
00:34:35,334 --> 00:34:36,683
Well, if you're going to get so
grumpy about it, why don't you
734
00:34:36,726 --> 00:34:39,164
just go and stand
someplace else?
735
00:34:39,207 --> 00:34:42,428
Because I'm a deputy and I
gotta stay here close for I
736
00:34:42,471 --> 00:34:44,430
can keep an eyeball on things.
737
00:34:44,473 --> 00:34:47,650
Go stand someplace else you
own self, you blamed knothead.
738
00:34:53,700 --> 00:34:55,789
Miss Kitty?
739
00:34:55,832 --> 00:34:57,704
This here is the most
excitingest thing
740
00:34:57,747 --> 00:34:59,967
that I've ever saw.
741
00:35:00,010 --> 00:35:02,665
Well, I'm more tired
than I am excited.
742
00:35:02,709 --> 00:35:05,190
Hadn't ought to be long, now.
743
00:35:05,233 --> 00:35:08,410
Matthew, he must've decided
to stay all night out
744
00:35:08,454 --> 00:35:10,238
at the Martins's place.
745
00:35:10,282 --> 00:35:11,805
Yeah, he must have.
746
00:35:11,848 --> 00:35:13,981
And you know, old Doc, he's
out at the Crockers's house.
747
00:35:14,024 --> 00:35:17,854
He's fixing to miss
all the excitement too.
748
00:35:17,898 --> 00:35:21,510
I don't believe anything that
has happened since Arizona
749
00:35:21,554 --> 00:35:22,424
came to this town.
750
00:35:22,946 --> 00:35:25,862
Well, I'll tell you,
I've saw a heap of things
751
00:35:25,906 --> 00:35:27,995
in my life, Miss Kitty.
752
00:35:28,038 --> 00:35:31,520
And I have saw things
happen that I just
753
00:35:31,564 --> 00:35:33,914
swore couldn't have been did.
754
00:35:33,957 --> 00:35:38,353
Festus, you don't
really believe
755
00:35:38,397 --> 00:35:40,703
that that elephant is going to
turn back into that little man,
756
00:35:40,747 --> 00:35:41,922
do you?
757
00:35:41,965 --> 00:35:45,273
Well, I always try
to make it a rule
758
00:35:45,317 --> 00:35:49,451
to just believe what I actual
see with my own eyeballs.
759
00:35:49,495 --> 00:35:52,541
But when it gets to
be sunup, I'll tell
760
00:35:52,585 --> 00:35:53,716
you whether I
believe that little
761
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:56,023
scudder or whether I don't.
762
00:35:56,066 --> 00:35:59,026
Well, looks like, uh,
everybody else in town
763
00:35:59,069 --> 00:36:01,202
wants to see for
themselves, just like you.
764
00:36:01,246 --> 00:36:04,988
That's about the onliest
way a feller can be sure.
765
00:36:05,032 --> 00:36:07,991
But it ain't gonna be long
now, 'cause old Arizona
766
00:36:08,035 --> 00:36:09,471
is due to hatch back.
767
00:36:09,515 --> 00:36:11,299
[music playing]
768
00:36:27,620 --> 00:36:29,578
ED: Sun's coming up.
769
00:36:29,622 --> 00:36:31,754
All right, everybody.
770
00:36:31,798 --> 00:36:34,017
This here elephant's
getting ready to turn back
771
00:36:34,061 --> 00:36:34,714
into a cowboy.
772
00:36:35,193 --> 00:36:36,890
Now, none of us
know it for certain
773
00:36:36,933 --> 00:36:39,066
how much room it's gonna take.
774
00:36:39,109 --> 00:36:43,070
[chatter]
775
00:36:43,113 --> 00:36:45,028
Just get back, folks.
776
00:36:45,072 --> 00:36:47,466
Come on, here he comes.
777
00:36:47,509 --> 00:36:50,643
[chatter]
778
00:37:04,657 --> 00:37:06,441
Sun's coming.
779
00:37:06,485 --> 00:37:08,226
[music playing]
780
00:37:23,458 --> 00:37:24,720
ED: Come on.
781
00:37:24,764 --> 00:37:26,548
[music playing]
782
00:37:32,641 --> 00:37:34,295
Come on, Arizona.
783
00:37:34,339 --> 00:37:35,775
[music playing]
784
00:37:53,532 --> 00:37:55,011
[elephant noise]
785
00:37:55,055 --> 00:37:57,362
[music playing]
786
00:38:22,778 --> 00:38:24,737
Well, Festus.
787
00:38:24,780 --> 00:38:27,740
Miss Kitty, I don't understand.
788
00:38:27,783 --> 00:38:31,874
Them three fellers didn't appear
like they was lying none to me.
789
00:38:31,918 --> 00:38:34,703
They didn't have
anything to do with it.
790
00:38:34,747 --> 00:38:38,185
They were fooled the same as
you and all these other folks.
791
00:38:38,228 --> 00:38:39,186
By who?
792
00:38:39,229 --> 00:38:41,536
By the midget.
793
00:38:41,580 --> 00:38:44,104
Now look, I'm
tired and I'm going
794
00:38:44,147 --> 00:38:46,541
to bed, so I'm gonna say
good morning or good night
795
00:38:46,585 --> 00:38:48,064
or what have you.
796
00:38:48,108 --> 00:38:50,980
I just want you to know that
I feel like a fool staying
797
00:38:51,024 --> 00:38:54,897
up all night watching
all these fools
798
00:38:54,941 --> 00:38:57,204
watch a-- a were-elephant.
799
00:38:57,247 --> 00:38:58,858
[music playing]
800
00:39:09,172 --> 00:39:10,086
Wait a minute.
801
00:39:10,130 --> 00:39:10,783
Hold on.
802
00:39:11,261 --> 00:39:13,568
Give the poor little
feller a chance.
803
00:39:13,612 --> 00:39:15,875
Maybe he don't know
what time it is.
804
00:39:15,918 --> 00:39:18,486
Well, I never wanted to
do it, and I ain't never
805
00:39:18,530 --> 00:39:19,922
going to do it again.
806
00:39:19,966 --> 00:39:21,750
Maybe he just don't
want to come out.
807
00:39:21,794 --> 00:39:22,882
What are you talking about?
808
00:39:22,925 --> 00:39:25,101
Of course he wants to come out.
809
00:39:25,145 --> 00:39:27,408
Ain't nobody wants
to be a elephant
810
00:39:27,452 --> 00:39:29,584
the rest of their natural life.
811
00:39:29,628 --> 00:39:30,846
Well, I can't stand it.
812
00:39:30,890 --> 00:39:33,066
Must've got stuck.
813
00:39:33,109 --> 00:39:36,461
I'll tell you-- maybe
he's just too timid to want
814
00:39:36,504 --> 00:39:38,680
to do it in front of everybody.
815
00:39:38,724 --> 00:39:39,986
How long do you think
it's going to take
816
00:39:40,029 --> 00:39:41,466
him to come out of his timid?
817
00:39:41,509 --> 00:39:42,510
I don't know.
818
00:39:42,554 --> 00:39:43,598
A long time, maybe.
819
00:39:43,642 --> 00:39:45,948
What are we going to do?
820
00:39:45,992 --> 00:39:46,688
Shoot him.
821
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,212
No, we ain't
going to shoot him.
822
00:39:49,256 --> 00:39:50,126
RED: Well, why not?
823
00:39:50,170 --> 00:39:50,823
Because.
824
00:39:51,301 --> 00:39:53,913
Because, stupid,
that's a little man.
825
00:39:53,956 --> 00:39:56,045
You want Marshal Dillon to
come after us for murder?
826
00:39:56,089 --> 00:39:57,482
Well, what are we going to do?
827
00:39:57,525 --> 00:39:58,613
Wait a minute.
828
00:39:58,657 --> 00:40:00,223
Wait a minute.
829
00:40:00,267 --> 00:40:02,965
Just supposing we was
to take him down yonder
830
00:40:03,009 --> 00:40:06,621
and put him in the barn
all by his own self.
831
00:40:06,665 --> 00:40:08,623
Maybe he'd do it there.
832
00:40:08,667 --> 00:40:09,972
Don't you see?
833
00:40:10,016 --> 00:40:12,061
Huh?
834
00:40:12,105 --> 00:40:12,975
Want to?
835
00:40:13,019 --> 00:40:13,802
All right.
836
00:40:14,194 --> 00:40:15,587
-Come on, Arizona.
-Come on, Arizona.
837
00:40:15,630 --> 00:40:16,631
Come on, Arizona.
Come on.
838
00:40:16,675 --> 00:40:17,545
Come on.
839
00:40:17,589 --> 00:40:18,981
To the barn, we're going.
840
00:40:19,025 --> 00:40:19,852
Here we go.
841
00:40:41,830 --> 00:40:44,180
FESTUS: Matthew?
842
00:40:44,224 --> 00:40:45,791
When'd you get back?
843
00:40:45,834 --> 00:40:47,619
We was commencing
to fret about you.
844
00:40:47,662 --> 00:40:48,837
Well, I just got back
a few minutes ago.
845
00:40:48,881 --> 00:40:50,317
What are you doing up so early?
846
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:52,058
Well, I've been
up all night long.
847
00:40:52,101 --> 00:40:53,842
The whole blame town has.
848
00:40:53,886 --> 00:40:54,887
Well, what's going on?
849
00:40:55,409 --> 00:40:57,759
Why, it's one of the most
excitingest things that's
850
00:40:57,803 --> 00:40:59,282
ever happened in Dodge City.
851
00:40:59,326 --> 00:41:00,153
What is it?
852
00:41:00,632 --> 00:41:03,025
Well, this here is one
of them nights when you
853
00:41:03,069 --> 00:41:04,766
just ought to have been around.
854
00:41:04,810 --> 00:41:06,725
What happened?
855
00:41:06,768 --> 00:41:10,816
Matthew, you ain't gonna
believe me when I tell you.
856
00:41:10,859 --> 00:41:11,730
Little feller is right.
857
00:41:12,295 --> 00:41:15,211
It's just hard tell it
so's anybody'll believe it.
858
00:41:15,255 --> 00:41:16,299
What are you getting at?
859
00:41:16,909 --> 00:41:20,913
Well, last night, Matthew, this
here stranger come into Dodge,
860
00:41:20,956 --> 00:41:22,915
and he come into the
Long Branch there,
861
00:41:22,958 --> 00:41:25,047
and he's just a-standing there.
862
00:41:25,091 --> 00:41:29,182
And he was a regular little
man, just about that tall.
863
00:41:29,225 --> 00:41:30,270
What a minute.
864
00:41:30,313 --> 00:41:31,706
Was he dressed in black?
865
00:41:31,750 --> 00:41:32,925
Yeah, that's him.
866
00:41:32,968 --> 00:41:34,100
Cute little feller.
867
00:41:34,143 --> 00:41:35,318
Uh-huh.
868
00:41:35,362 --> 00:41:35,971
That's the one.
869
00:41:36,276 --> 00:41:37,538
I got him locked up in back.
870
00:41:37,582 --> 00:41:38,278
His name is Virgil Yuleberry.
871
00:41:41,237 --> 00:41:44,153
How can you have him locked up
whilst he's still an elephant?
872
00:41:44,197 --> 00:41:45,241
Elephant?
873
00:41:45,285 --> 00:41:46,199
What are you talking about?
874
00:41:46,765 --> 00:41:49,768
Well, we got the elephant
over yonder in the barn.
875
00:41:52,901 --> 00:41:54,381
Festus, you're getting
too far ahead of me.
876
00:41:54,424 --> 00:41:56,905
All I know is that I got
a midget named Yuleberry
877
00:41:56,949 --> 00:41:59,908
locked up in the back.
878
00:41:59,952 --> 00:42:01,867
Yuleberry.
879
00:42:01,910 --> 00:42:03,912
And he made fun of my name.
880
00:42:03,956 --> 00:42:05,914
What you got him locked up for?
881
00:42:05,958 --> 00:42:07,742
Well, I was riding
into Dodge last night
882
00:42:07,786 --> 00:42:08,830
and he stopped me
on the road, asked
883
00:42:08,874 --> 00:42:10,266
me if he could buy my horse.
884
00:42:10,310 --> 00:42:12,268
-He did?
-Yeah.
885
00:42:12,312 --> 00:42:14,183
And then when he saw my badge,
why, he took off running.
886
00:42:14,227 --> 00:42:15,881
So I figured I must've
been wanted for something.
887
00:42:15,924 --> 00:42:16,925
I grabbed him.
888
00:42:17,491 --> 00:42:19,754
Well, how come it took you
so long to get back to town?
889
00:42:19,798 --> 00:42:20,973
He's a slippery little fella.
890
00:42:21,016 --> 00:42:22,148
He kept getting away from me.
891
00:42:22,670 --> 00:42:25,107
I finally had to tie him up
and hang him on my saddle horn.
892
00:42:25,151 --> 00:42:26,195
Huh.
893
00:42:26,848 --> 00:42:29,285
Well, he sure had hisself a busy
night for such a little feller,
894
00:42:29,329 --> 00:42:30,852
didn't he?
895
00:42:30,896 --> 00:42:33,246
I've got a feeling it's
not over yet, either.
896
00:42:33,289 --> 00:42:35,074
[music playing]
897
00:42:48,827 --> 00:42:50,132
Mr. Yuleberry?
898
00:42:50,176 --> 00:42:51,046
I'd like to talk to you.
899
00:42:54,659 --> 00:42:55,747
Want to talk to me?
900
00:42:55,790 --> 00:42:56,617
Yeah.
901
00:42:56,661 --> 00:42:58,619
Out in the office.
902
00:42:58,663 --> 00:43:00,360
[music playing]
903
00:43:06,366 --> 00:43:07,323
Hold on here, now.
904
00:43:07,367 --> 00:43:09,891
Back-- there.
905
00:43:09,935 --> 00:43:12,154
Now you keep him
away from me, marshal.
906
00:43:12,198 --> 00:43:13,286
I know his kind.
907
00:43:13,329 --> 00:43:14,156
He's a killer.
908
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:15,331
Oh, hush up.
909
00:43:15,375 --> 00:43:17,333
I ain't here to
hurt you, even if it
910
00:43:17,377 --> 00:43:19,335
does sound like a good idea.
911
00:43:19,379 --> 00:43:23,339
What I want to know is why you
went and lied to everybody.
912
00:43:23,383 --> 00:43:25,124
I ain't talking to you.
913
00:43:25,167 --> 00:43:27,430
Marshal, I told you I
didn't want to see nobody.
914
00:43:27,474 --> 00:43:30,999
Yeah, well, now I understand
why, Mr. Yuleberry.
915
00:43:31,043 --> 00:43:32,784
Suppose you just calm down
and tell us the truth.
916
00:43:36,091 --> 00:43:38,180
Well, go on.
917
00:43:38,224 --> 00:43:40,226
I'm thinking.
918
00:43:40,269 --> 00:43:42,097
I'm thinking.
919
00:43:42,141 --> 00:43:45,013
Even if I told you the truth
you wouldn't believe me.
920
00:43:45,057 --> 00:43:47,755
Oh, you ain't going
to start that again.
921
00:43:47,799 --> 00:43:49,844
You know what really hurts?
922
00:43:49,888 --> 00:43:51,803
This was the last time.
923
00:43:51,846 --> 00:43:53,848
I didn't ever have
to do it again.
924
00:43:53,892 --> 00:43:56,242
I ain't never been
found out before.
925
00:43:56,285 --> 00:43:58,897
You mean you did this before?
926
00:43:58,940 --> 00:44:01,856
Dodge makes 31 times.
927
00:44:01,900 --> 00:44:04,337
31 times.
928
00:44:04,380 --> 00:44:06,861
You don't know what it's
like going through that act
929
00:44:06,905 --> 00:44:08,515
every month--
making out like I'm
930
00:44:08,558 --> 00:44:10,691
going to turn into an elephant.
931
00:44:10,735 --> 00:44:12,824
It's awful.
932
00:44:12,867 --> 00:44:15,435
Thank goodness it's over with.
933
00:44:15,478 --> 00:44:18,438
Well, Mr. Yuleberry,
we're still waiting.
934
00:44:18,481 --> 00:44:19,831
Oh, yeah.
935
00:44:19,874 --> 00:44:21,920
Ever hear of
Meriwether Hornboom?
936
00:44:21,963 --> 00:44:23,225
Can say as I have.
937
00:44:23,269 --> 00:44:25,010
Have you, Festus?
938
00:44:25,053 --> 00:44:27,708
-No, I ain't heard of him.
-He was my uncle.
939
00:44:27,752 --> 00:44:29,362
He was a millionaire.
940
00:44:29,405 --> 00:44:32,713
He also was crazy-- craziest
old man that ever lived.
941
00:44:32,757 --> 00:44:34,410
Well, keep talking.
942
00:44:34,454 --> 00:44:38,110
Well, uncle Meriwether liked to
collect things-- weird things,
943
00:44:38,153 --> 00:44:39,851
real unusual, you know.
944
00:44:39,894 --> 00:44:42,462
Well, you still ain't
telling us a whole heap.
945
00:44:42,505 --> 00:44:44,986
Just give me time.
946
00:44:45,030 --> 00:44:48,250
Now, uncle collected things
like snake eyes and doorknobs.
947
00:44:48,294 --> 00:44:51,819
He also collected animals, like
elephants and giant horses.
948
00:44:51,863 --> 00:44:54,082
Now, here we go, Matthew.
949
00:44:54,126 --> 00:44:56,084
Well, uncle died
three years ago,
950
00:44:56,128 --> 00:44:57,912
and he left me the
elephants and the horses.
951
00:44:57,956 --> 00:45:01,263
Well, why didn't you
just get rid of them?
952
00:45:01,307 --> 00:45:05,050
Did you ever try to
get rid of 31 elephants?
953
00:45:05,093 --> 00:45:07,835
Well, no, I can't say I have.
954
00:45:07,879 --> 00:45:09,271
Take my word for it.
955
00:45:09,315 --> 00:45:11,273
You can't give them away.
956
00:45:11,317 --> 00:45:14,059
Nobody in his right mind
would want an elephant.
957
00:45:14,102 --> 00:45:16,452
Stupid animals-- they don't
know how to do anything
958
00:45:16,496 --> 00:45:19,760
but eat and have kids.
959
00:45:19,804 --> 00:45:21,588
I'm so glad that's over with.
960
00:45:21,631 --> 00:45:23,155
Yeah, well, the
fact of the matter
961
00:45:23,198 --> 00:45:25,331
is, it isn't exactly
over with yet.
962
00:45:25,374 --> 00:45:26,245
What do you mean?
963
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:27,986
What about those men
out there who think you
964
00:45:28,029 --> 00:45:29,248
turned into an elephant?
965
00:45:29,291 --> 00:45:30,553
You're not going to
tell them, are you?
966
00:45:30,597 --> 00:45:31,816
Why shouldn't I?
967
00:45:31,859 --> 00:45:33,818
You don't understand, marshal.
968
00:45:33,861 --> 00:45:35,950
How could I possibly
keep a whole herd
969
00:45:35,994 --> 00:45:38,910
of elephants and horses
for the rest of my life?
970
00:45:38,953 --> 00:45:40,955
And the only way I
could get rid of them
971
00:45:40,999 --> 00:45:43,349
was to make somebody else
responsible for them.
972
00:45:43,392 --> 00:45:46,352
Now those men think I'm
going to reappear someday.
973
00:45:46,395 --> 00:45:48,354
And if they believe
that, they'll take
974
00:45:48,397 --> 00:45:49,964
good care of those elephants.
975
00:45:50,008 --> 00:45:52,053
Well, maybe they will, but--
976
00:45:52,097 --> 00:45:53,489
There's nothing
wrong with what I did.
977
00:45:53,533 --> 00:45:55,448
I didn't break any laws.
978
00:45:55,491 --> 00:45:58,407
Besides, marshal, those men have
got something lots of us don't.
979
00:45:58,451 --> 00:46:00,322
Yeah, a elephant.
980
00:46:00,366 --> 00:46:01,976
More than that.
981
00:46:02,020 --> 00:46:04,457
They've got something
to believe in.
982
00:46:04,500 --> 00:46:07,068
You just couldn't go out there,
marshal, and tell them fellows
983
00:46:07,112 --> 00:46:08,896
that I didn't change
into an elephant,
984
00:46:08,940 --> 00:46:10,942
because they think I did.
985
00:46:10,985 --> 00:46:13,335
And they also think
someday I'll change back.
986
00:46:13,379 --> 00:46:15,511
[elephant noise]
987
00:46:15,555 --> 00:46:16,861
[elephant noise]
988
00:46:19,211 --> 00:46:20,516
Look, marshal.
989
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:22,214
[music playing]
990
00:46:24,912 --> 00:46:25,565
[elephant noise]
991
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:27,175
Well, what are
we gonna call him?
992
00:46:27,219 --> 00:46:29,003
[laughter]
993
00:46:29,047 --> 00:46:30,265
Name's Arizoney.
994
00:46:30,309 --> 00:46:31,571
All right, Arizoney.
995
00:46:31,614 --> 00:46:32,528
Come on.
996
00:46:32,572 --> 00:46:34,226
Let's head for home.
997
00:46:34,269 --> 00:46:35,227
Here we go.
998
00:46:35,270 --> 00:46:37,533
[laughter]
999
00:46:37,577 --> 00:46:39,100
They're like kids.
1000
00:46:39,144 --> 00:46:40,580
They'll have a lot of
fun with that elephant,
1001
00:46:40,623 --> 00:46:42,538
and they'll take good
care of him, too.
1002
00:46:42,582 --> 00:46:44,236
Hey, Ed, Fred!
1003
00:46:44,279 --> 00:46:45,541
Wait for me.
1004
00:46:45,585 --> 00:46:47,413
[music playing]
1005
00:46:49,154 --> 00:46:52,548
Wait for me!
1006
00:46:52,592 --> 00:46:57,118
If you don't mind, marshal,
I'll slip out the side door.
1007
00:46:57,162 --> 00:46:59,294
[music playing]
1008
00:47:08,086 --> 00:47:12,046
Matthew, I'm just
plumb tuckered out.
1009
00:47:12,090 --> 00:47:14,527
So am I.
1010
00:47:14,570 --> 00:47:18,183
You know, Matthew, I was just
telling old Doc last night
1011
00:47:18,226 --> 00:47:21,621
that something powerful
strange was a-fixing to happen,
1012
00:47:21,664 --> 00:47:23,623
and sure enough, it happened.
1013
00:47:23,666 --> 00:47:25,190
Is there any coffee, Festus?
1014
00:47:25,233 --> 00:47:26,931
No, there ain't,
Matthew, but I can blame
1015
00:47:26,974 --> 00:47:29,150
sure make you some right quick.
1016
00:47:29,194 --> 00:47:30,717
Thanks.
1017
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:35,243
You know, I never did believe
that sawed-off little old
1018
00:47:35,287 --> 00:47:36,244
cowboy for a minute.
1019
00:47:36,810 --> 00:47:40,205
I just wanted to hear what
his pinheaded [inaudible]
1020
00:47:40,248 --> 00:47:41,075
was all about.
1021
00:47:41,119 --> 00:47:41,902
That's all.
1022
00:47:42,250 --> 00:47:44,296
Not that such a
thing can't happen,
1023
00:47:44,339 --> 00:47:48,691
'cause I recollect whilst I was
still living up in the hills
1024
00:47:48,735 --> 00:47:51,520
there, and it was
on a night just
1025
00:47:51,564 --> 00:47:55,307
exactly like last night,
moon shining bright,
1026
00:47:55,350 --> 00:47:58,701
and it happened to my
great-aunt Fredulia.
1027
00:47:58,745 --> 00:48:00,573
Aunt Fredulia?
1028
00:48:00,616 --> 00:48:03,097
What happened,
Matthew, she started in
1029
00:48:03,141 --> 00:48:06,666
and she growed fur
all over her body.
1030
00:48:06,709 --> 00:48:07,623
Fur?
1031
00:48:07,667 --> 00:48:09,495
Yes, sir, fur.
1032
00:48:09,538 --> 00:48:11,627
And that ain't all, either.
1033
00:48:11,671 --> 00:48:14,282
He told me that
her teeth started
1034
00:48:14,326 --> 00:48:18,112
to grow real long
and stragglety,
1035
00:48:18,156 --> 00:48:22,334
and when my cousin Elvene
started in to shave her,
1036
00:48:22,377 --> 00:48:24,771
she hauled off and bit him.
1037
00:48:24,814 --> 00:48:28,557
Well, I went to his sick
bed for over two weeks.
1038
00:48:28,601 --> 00:48:31,038
And that another funny
thing that happened,
1039
00:48:31,082 --> 00:48:34,302
there, Matthew, I
recollect when then,
1040
00:48:34,346 --> 00:48:38,045
when the widow [inaudible] was
out planting a tater to get rid
1041
00:48:38,089 --> 00:48:41,353
of her warts, and
the lighting started
1042
00:48:41,396 --> 00:48:51,363
to stomping and striking all
around her, and-- Matthew?
1043
00:48:54,801 --> 00:48:57,108
Don't you want no
coffee, Matthew?
1044
00:48:57,151 --> 00:48:58,936
[music playing]
1045
00:49:02,069 --> 00:49:02,940
Mighty peculiar.
1046
00:49:06,552 --> 00:49:10,556
Brain-boggling is what it is.
1047
00:49:10,599 --> 00:49:11,731
Stone brain-boggling.
1048
00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:17,563
[music playing]
1049
00:49:20,131 --> 00:49:21,480
NARRATOR: Stay tuned
for exciting scenes
1050
00:49:21,523 --> 00:49:23,351
from our next "Gunsmoke."
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