Original subtitles

NARRATOR: "Gunsmoke," with Milburn Stone as Doc, Amanda

Blake as Kitty, Ken Curtis as Festus,

Buck Taylor as Newly, and starring

James Arness as Matt Dillon.

[music playing]

Whoa.

Whoa, there.

Afternoon, Dr. Adams.

Well, Charity, how are ya?

I'm fine, I guess.

I was just on the way back to town,

and I thought I'd just drop by and see your father.

How is he?

He's wasting away more every day.

Is he in any pain?

You'd not likely know from him.

Festus came by early this morning.

Oh?

Him and Pa are out clearing a new field.

Isn't that something to fathom out?

Well, I don't know, knowing your father.

I-- I'm not at all surprised.

It's a sad waste of time.

Maybe not.

Charity, maybe at this point Festus

can do more for Jeb than I can.

[grunting]

All right.

All right, Jeb.

Just give her another whirl.

Come on, bud.

Come on--

[grunting]

No, no.

Ain't no good, Jeb.

She ain't coming out.

[sighs]

Now, that's what I call being played in several measures.

Well, we got her buggered and battered,

but she ain't fixin' to give up just yet.

Yeah, this stump just don't know when to say quit, Fest.

Give me that there axe.

You know, with enough water, this here field's

gonna turn out some fine crops come summer.

Have you wished for your well yet, have you?

Yeah, [inaudible] over yonder, as a matter of fact.

Come next week we'll pick us a couple of days

and start the digging.

You ain't gonna do no such thing.

Why not?

You know you've done plenty already.

Oh, foot.

You been-a keeping track, have ye?

I sure have.

Festus, when time comes, give a look-see to Charity for me,

will you?

See she gets a footstep in the right direction?

Aw, Jeb, quit talking that a-way.

Well, it ain't so bad.

And I ain't one bit skiddery, 'cept for thinking about her.

It's sad what you do by loving your youngin's too much,

holding them too tight and too long.

Gets so you can't let them go.

Hand me that there axe.

All right, Jeb.

You've got my word.

[music playing]

Morning, Matthew, Doc.

-Well, Festus. -Good Heavens.

Good Heavens, I should have known better.

-What are you mumbling about? -Sit down, Festus.

Well, I'll sit down and drink a cup of coffee

with you, Matthew.

I already done ate.

Who paid for it?

Doc, you just might as well smooth your old bristles back,

'cause you ain't fixing to spoil my day with one

of your blamed arguments.

Matthew, what I came by to tell you

was that I'm fixing to go out to Jeb Spencer's place.

We're gonna start digging a well.

Oh, here we are, Matt.

My gosh, am I ready for this.

Thank you, Hank.

Well, now, you know, I have saw me

some palate-some-looking eggs in my born't days,

but I never seen no eggs that is as palate-some

as them eggs is right there.

Festus, where in thunder did you get a word like that?

Like what?

Palatable.

I didn't say--

I know what you said.

You said palate-some.

Well, you meant to say palatable.

-I never meant no such-a thing. -Just a minute.

I'm trying to help you.

There isn't any such a word at all as palate-some, now.

There isn't.

Doc, you're just-a busting to stir up a scrap with me,

ain't ya?

Stir up a fight with you?

That's the last-- Festus, all I wanted this morning was for you

to sleep late enough so I could get

down here and have a nice, quiet, peaceful breakfast

with Matt.

That's all I wanted.

Matthew, ain't he just pure, ol' de-amazing?

Here I come in with a friendly howdy of a start of a new day.

And before you can say, rat run over the roof of the house

with a piece of raw liver in his mouth,

he-- he starts to ragging me six days to Sunday accusing me

[inaudible] little, old sunny-side-up eggs.

And I done told him I done eat.

I'll tell you what it is.

It's just getting old that's-a doing it to him.

He's just getting so blamed old, that the years

have just soured him up to worries like a old percinnamon.

He ain't even fit to share a conservation with,

let alone a measly, little, old $0.35 breakfast.

Festus, you shouldn't do that to ol' Doc.

Do what, Matthew?

Pass the pepper, will you?

[humming]

Festus.

Oh, howdy, Doc.

I want to talk to you, Festus.

Charity just drove Jeb into town.

Oh, is he up at your office, is he?

He's at Percy Crump's.

He died last night in his sleep.

Oh, Doc.

Only a matter of time, Festus.

I reckon so.

Where's Charity at now?

Ma Smalley's.

Thanks, Doc.

[boot spurs jingling]

[music playing]

[knocking on door]

Festus.

Charity.

Well, I reckon we all know that it's bound to happen.

It sure is bitter medicine to swall'er when it

actual does happen, ain't it?

I can't cry, Festus.

Well, that there wouldn't help nothing, no how.

It's terrible, but all I can think about

is all those years, me wanting shed of him.

And now I am.

And I--

Well, Jeb, he'd understand that.

He didn't make me stay.

He just never let me go.

Charity, that there is one thing that sorried

your pa something fierce.

Now, he told me that his own self.

Well, Mr. Cross said the burying, can be in two days.

I'll take care of everything.

Thank you, Festus.

Oh, there's some of Pa's things in the wagon, some, uh,

trapping gear, some guns, some other things.

You figure I could sell them and the horse and wagon?

Yes'm, I reckon you could.

But don't you fret about that, now.

I'll take care of it all.

Thank you.

I appreciate that.

After Pa's burying, I'm going to Abilene.

You're going where?

I vowed to myself one day I'd do it.

Now's the time.

If I don't go now, I never will.

Well, you can't just up--

I've got to, Festus, or it's too late.

I know there's more than what I've seen.

And I'm going to see it.

Look.

"Koberly Hotel for genteel ladies.

Heart of Abilene.

Convenient to all points of interest.

Reasonable rates-- day, week, or month."

See.

Charity, I gave your pa my word that I'd look after you.

Look after me?

Festus, I'm 28 years old.

Oh, I've been looked after all my life.

What-- all I've ever known is the farm, the farm the bank

owns.

I've been brought to Dodge to buy supplies

and taken to church for Sunday service.

Why, the farthest away I've ever been to my whole life

is Spivey-- Spivey.

Well, that's passed now.

That's done.

From now on, I'm being looked after by me.

Well, Charity, you ought to--

No, Festus, nothing you can say.

Nothing.

After Pa's burying, I'm going. And that's final.

That really was a nice, dignified burying.

Sort of a puny gathering.

Anyway, Charity will be on her way to Abilene soon.

You know something, Newly?

I think it'll do her good.

That your opinion, is it, Burke?

Well, sure can't hurt her any.

I mean, look at her.

Keep your voice down, will ya?

I just can't understand why Festus is

so worked up over her leaving.

'Cause he gave his word to Jeb he'd look after her,

that's why. -I know.

But as far as his moving to Abilene, that's impossible

You know what he ought to do?

He ought to get her things together

and sell them and wipe his hands completely

clean of the whole thing.

Now, let's look at it logically.

She's young.

She's full of life.

As far as Jeb's concerned, he's dead and buried.

And there ain't nothing he could do about it, anyway.

You got a way of cutting it to the bone, Burke.

I'll say that for you.

I'm sorry, Festus, but I don't think Mr. Lathrop would

want me to buy any old clothes.

Well, wait a minute now, Halligan.

Wait a minute.

What about these here varmint traps here?

Festus, I already told you--

They ought to be worth $5 if they're worth a penny.

But Mr. Lathrop is sick.

And I haven't got the authority to buy anything, Festus.

Oh, good morning, Miss -Hello, Charlie.

I'll have the cloth you ordered around

for you in just a minute.

All right, fine.

Morning, Miss Kitty.

Hello, Festus.

I see you're still trying to sell all these things

for Charity Spencer.

Yes.

And she's fixing to leave tomorrow.

Nobody buying.

Oh, someone will buy, all right, or steal

is more what it is.

See, I figured if I couldn't do nothing else at all, I could

at least get her a fair price for her belongs,

because she's gonna need all the cash she can lay her hands

on to going to Abilene.

I know.

How much do you figure all this is worth?

Well, let's see.

That there is a pretty sorry excuse for a horse.

But with the rig and all, it ought to be worth $40.

Now, I ought to be lucky if I even get half that much.

You see, Miss Charity, she ain't letting me have no time to do

no dealing, don't you see?

Hm.

Festus, um, what would you say if I just advanced you the $40

and then you could take the time in order to get the right price

for all these things?

Would you do that, Miss Kitty?

You come on by the Long Branch later.

I'll have the money ready for you.

See you in about an hour.

Thank you for everything, Festus.

Oh, you're might welcome, Charity.

And you take care of yourself, do you hear me?

Oh, don't worry about me.

Well, I will be.

CONDUCTOR: Stage rolling.

Load 'em up.

Now, Charity, I want to tell you one thing.

No, everything's going to be fine, Festus.

Really, it is.

Oh, I can feel it.

Inside of me, I can feel it.

Be happy for me, Festus.

Like the man says, I'm going to see the elephant.

Well, just so's you know, the safest

place to look at an elephant is from a couple of yards back.

CONDUCTOR: Stand clear, Whiskers.

I'm late now.

[shouts]

Bye, Charity.

[music playing]

Well, this here's the last [inaudible].

And I've been saving it just special for you.

But I don't need two lamps, Festus.

Well, I know you don't.

But you buy this here one, and then you

can throw that there one away.

Why would I do that?

Well, you just got done saying you don't need two lamps.

Yes, but I don't--

Well, just hold your butt, now, till I get done telling

you about this here lamp.

Now, look here.

[laughter]

I swear, if that Burke owned his self a whole herd of Texas

Longhorn Steers, you could still sell him a load of fertilizer.

[chuckles]

Where you been keeping yourself, Doc?

Well, I've been busy.

How are things with you?

Oh, everything's fine now that I'm shed of all them

things of Charity Spencer's.

Well, did you sell everything?

-Got $19 for the lot. -$19?

You bet you, Doc.

And I want to tell you something.

I swear to you with every bible that Burke, he don't count.

You know something's unbelievable to me.

What?

For someone who can't read or write,

there's-- you're so doggone good about counting money.

And you don't spend any.

Ah, there you go.

You old scudder.

We haven't saw each other [inaudible]

for three blame weeks.

And you don't get 10 words out of your mouth,

and you gotta start in with your blamed insulting.

It's been over three weeks.

Oh, you just been counting the days till you get

started on me, huh?

Just hold on a minute.

Just wait a minute.

Don't bust a gusset.

I've got some good news for you.

What's that?

Well, Hank sold Charity's horse and rig for you.

Thunder he did. What'd he get for it?

More than you expected.

Well, glory.

Much obliged, Doc.

[music playing]

Festus, that's the fourth time you counted that.

Kitty, ever since I taught him to count,

he just counts and counts and counts.

Festus, you're getting to be quite a businessman.

Yeah, he's quite a salesman, all right.

He got me to give him $2 for a kerosene lamp

with a cracked chimney on it.

All right, Miss Kitty, there it is, your $40 back.

And I sure am much obliged to you.

It was my pleasure, Festus.

What are you going to do with the rest of it?

Well, how much more is there?

I make it $11.

Well, say, that's fine.

Now you can stand for a round of beers for all of us.

Oh, uh, Doc, I'd like to, but--

Oh, that's just fine.

Go on and crawfish out of it.

Oh, now, I ain't exactly crawfishing now.

I--

I think that Festus probably has

better places for that money rather

than buying us all beers.

Isn't that right, Festus?

You bet you, Miss Kitty.

The mainest thing is I gotta get it

to Charity Spencer in Abilene.

Charity Spencer?

Really?

Well, it's-- this here's her money.

You know, Festus, it seems like $11

is just a fair-- fair price for what you did for her.

Burke, what I done for her wasn't did for no price,

don't you see?

Festus, if you'd like me to, I'll write you

out a bank draft for that $11.

Bank draft?

Well, that's if you're mailing it than cash.

Oh, I wasn't figuring on mailing it, Matthew.

Wait a minute.

You're not gonna take it to her, are you?

Well, I figured ol' Jeb would kind of like

that if I was to do it, Doc.

That's a long ride, Festus.

That'll take you quite a while.

Well, Matthew, see, you got Newly here in case

you's to need somebody.

He can help you out.

Festus, you've already spent two whole weeks

selling everything for her.

And now you mean you're going to go

all the way to Abilene to deliver

that money to her personally?

Yes'm, that's what I'm fixing to do.

[music playing]

Whoa.

Whoa.

Ruth, how in tarnation did you throw a shoe?

Could I do some now, Chad?

You pull them weeds around the well house?

Yep.

Put those cow droppings in Momma's flowerbed?

Brung up and spread.

All right.

Grab a stick.

Start mixing some up.

Ain't but two batches left, and thinner than milk already.

No matter.

It's all we got.

It's gonna have to do.

How many more days till the party?

It ain't a party. It's a heap more than that.

I know it is.

But there will be a party afterwards.

How many more days?

In two weeks yet.

Howdy, fellers.

Momma, Momma!

He's here!

There he is, Momma, right yonder.

Howdy, ma'am.

Glory be.

He wasn't due for a week or more.

Momma, is that him?

I don't know I don't know what he looks like.

Who else would be out here in the middle of nowhere?

Chad, run quick Fetch the scattergun just in case.

Now, it ain't that I stepped down without asking.

My mule pulled up lame, throw'd a shoe.

Put your hands up and stay right there, mister.

What in tarnation is this?

Don't you move, mister.

You're not Mr. Schuldenhaus.

No, ma'am, I ain't.

Now, boy, you just back off with that gun.

You mind saying what you want?

No, ma'am.

I don't mind at all.

Like I told you, my mule throw'd a shoe.

What I'm-a wanting is to set him with a new one.

Name is Haggen, Festus Haggen from Dodge City.

You're a ways from home.

Yes'm.

Making for Abilene.

And ma'am, if you'd have that youngin' of yours put

that gun down, it'd be a heap easier talking.

For a while there, I had me wishing

I was that Schuldenhaus feller.

-I sure ain't sorry you ain't. -Clay.

Would you want to marry up with him?

Marry?

Mr. Schuldenhaus is coming for our wedding.

We've been corresponding.

He ain't never sent no pictures.

We don't know what he looks like.

Well, I want to tell you this-- he's in for a mighty nice

surprise when he gets here.

Now, I know I'm a sight for you folks to see.

But with a little water for washing

and a little time for white-washing so as I can earn

myself some vittles, I'm going to prove to you folks

that I'm crammed neck-high with personableness.

[music playing]

FESTUS: Well, before you know it, here's old Doc.

He's all humped up like a mad man.

And he's stomping out of Delmonico's.

And I'm eating his breakfast. [chuckles] Well, you see, he--

he ain't never come on to my secret of talking

faster than what he can keep up with thinking,

you see what I mean?

If you give a feller a whole heap of things to think about

at once, well, then he ain't got time

to do no thinking about answers for something that you've done

said.

Don't you see?

And you call him your best friend?

Chad, I'd cut off my right arm clean

up to my left ear for him.

I hope nobody ever tells him that.

Well, just betwixt us three men,

I figure he done already knows it.

Supper's on and hot and getting cold.

Oh, my heavens.

You've done more in three hours than we

could have done in a whole day.

Noon tomorrow, she's gonna be all did.

Oh, I can't let you do that.

Well, noon tomorrow, wasn't that when you's figuring

on going over to Beckwith's Mercantile

for them supplies of yours?

Yeah, but--

Well, that's when I'll pick up the new shoes for Ruth, see.

I might as well be busy doing something till then.

Besides that, you haven't never saw me put away vittles.

And from the smell that's been a-coming from your kitchen,

I figure it'd take me a week of white-washing

to pay for these vittles I'm fixed to eat.

Come on in.

[spurs jingling]

Dear Lord, we thank thee for the bounty

which fills our lives.

We thank thee for the love that fills our hearts.

We thank thee for all thy gracious gifts.

Amen.

Amen.

You forgot the other part.

Uh, well, that's all right this time, son.

But we always say it.

Never mind, Clay.

Dear Lord, we humbly ask you to make

Mr. Schuldenhaus a sober man and a good and kind

husband and father.

Amen.

Oh, and Lord, if you was to make him a might more

looksome-er than some feller that ain't gonna get named,

you sure wouldn't hear no fussing from the folks

around these here parts.

Amen.

Amen.

Chad, will you pass this to Festus?

[sniffs]

That sure smells and looks larruping.

Oh, I believe I could eat the whole blame

bowlful my own self.

[chuckles]

[plates rattling]

[spurs jingling]

[humming]

You know something?

I sure gotta hand it to you fellers.

Why, Festus?

Oh, for helping your momma get shed of some of her chores.

Papa used to say a woman needs time to herself.

Well, your daddy must have been a mighty smart feller.

He said it was up to us to see she had her quiet time.

I don't remember much about him, just some things, mostly

what Chad tells me.

He died a long time ago.

It was five years ago he took sick.

And you've been man of the house ever since then, huh?

We both have.

Sure wish you could be here for the wedding, Festus.

Oh, golly-Bill, I do, too, Clay.

It's gonna be in Abilene just as soon

as Mr. Schuldenhaus gets here.

Well, more than likely, I'll be on my way back to Dodge

by then, don't you see?

We're gonna have a party afterwards.

And Momma's gonna be the prettiest one there 'cause--

[shushes]

After you're done, hang the towel so as it dries.

Momma, can I take the horse for a while?

Again, Chad?

Yes'm, just for a couple hours.

It'll be dark in a couple of hours.

I'll be back by bed time.

I filled the wood box.

And I'll milk the cow before I go.

All right.

Thanks, Mom.

Well, Miss Elkins, I reckon I'll go out and try to work

off some of them good vittles.

I just got me a little dab left to do,

and then she'll be all did.

Oh, Festus, you've done enough already.

Ah, tu-tu-tu-tu-tu.

[horse neighing]

[chad shouting horse commands]

[suspenseful music]

[cow mooing]

Festus.

Festus.

That's funny.

There's like ol' Chad forgot to milk his cow.

Bring me a bucket, and I'll do it.

That's all right. I'll do it myself.

-What? -It's all right.

I'll do it myself.

[horse galloping]

[door slams]

[coins jingling]

Was it hard chores?

What do you think?

How much did you get?

$0.40.

How much does that make altogether?

CHAD ELKINS: I'm counting now.

You forgot to milk the cow, you know.

That's right, I did.

Festus was gonna do it.

But I stopped him from coming in.

Well, it ain't likely he'd have found it.

Well, I wasn't gonna chance it.

[spurs jingling, humming]

Hey.

If I'd have known you was coming out to the barn,

I'd have asked you to water ol' Ruth for me.

Chad, I'm glad to see you got back before bed time,

like you said you would.

That's good.

You know, I've always figured the most importantest thing

for a feller to be is reliable-some.

Yes-sir-ee, reliable-some-ness says a whole heap

for a feller's character.

When a feller's got character, he

ain't gonna never be nothing but a whole heap of pure, old joy

to his momma and daddy.

Well, I reckon I'll turn in.

Goodnight, fellers.

Goodnight, Festus.

[spurs jingling]

[closes door]

[music playing]

[dog barking]

Two pounds of coffee.

What else?

A tin of soda crackers, please.

[whispering]

What else?

10 pounds of salt, please.

Well, would you look at them horehounds.

Peppermints is my favorite.

Peppermints are two-fers.

Tumors?

Two for a penny.

Oh.

Well, I'll tell you what, now.

If certain youngin's was to keep the fire box going in the forge

in a particular barn for a certain feller

that I know whilst he was-a shoeing his mule,

them certain fellers just might earn their-selves

some peppermint sticks.

Got 5 yards of muslin there, Mr. Beckwith, and some thread.

All right.

I'll measure it.

Well, when you get done with that, measure me

a nickel's worth of them peppermint sticks-- [ANNOYED]

a full measure.

[clank]

[music playing]

Got them crackers, Ma?

I could have sworn I saw Mr. Beckwith

put that tin right in--

Well, I ain't never laid eyes on that man but once,

but I'd say Chad's right in checking on it.

Here he comes.

He said he put it in one of them boxes.

Here it is.

The flour sack was hiding it.

[clanking]

I sure want to thank you for helping us, Festus.

Well, that there just makes everything even 'twixt us,

Chad.

We'd have been at it better than another week or more.

Well, see, now, this way, it'll give you some extra time

so that you can help your momma do some other things,

don't you see?

Where do you live in Dodge, Festus?

Live?

Well, where's your house at?

I mean, if we was to write you.

Oh.

You figuring on writing to me, are you?

Who knows?

Someday we might even get to Dodge.

We could come and look you up.

Well, I'll tell you you could always get a letter to me

care of the US marshal.

Are you a friend of a US marshal?

Oh, you bet you, Marshal Matthew Dillon.

Fact is the biggest part of the time, I'm his deputy.

[suspenseful music]

SARAH ELKINS: Chad, Clay-- dinner.

Are you through, Festus?

Coming.

This

You know, it's just plum shamefulness

for a feller to put away vittles the way I just did.

Maybe so.

But it certainly is flattering.

Well, I'll tell you, I've eaten enough to carry me

clean to Abilene and then some.

Much obliged to you, Chad.

Safe trip, Festus.

And all our thanks.

You're mighty welcome, ma'am.

And I'm-a wishing you all the pure,

old-y happiness you can hold.

I know Mr. Schuldenhaus will be all you want.

And I can tell you something else,

too-- you're gonna be the look-some-est bride in Kansas.

You two boys, I want to tell you something.

It's been-a many and-a many days since I came across youngin's

the likes of you.

And you just keep being the joy to your ma

that you done already are.

Don't you never do nothing to take that pride-some look out

of her eyes.

You hear me?

Well, Ruth, time to kick some dust, raise some gravel.

Bye, Festus.

Adios.

Bye, Festus.

Come on, Ruth.

[music playing]

[snoring]

[WHISPERING] You reckon he's got any money on him?

Don't matter.

You see that blanket?

Yeah, I see it.

And I've sat here scrunched up long as I'm gonna.

I'm goin' at her and then get it.

Now, you put a bullet through that blanket,

and I'll put one through you.

I don't want no holes through that blanket.

You'll get it without no holes.

He's asleep, I tell you.

There won't be no trouble.

All right. Let's go.

Hey, if you have to shoot him shoot him through the head

so the blanket won't be spoiled, huh?

[snoring]

[snoring]

[snoring]

[coins jingling]

[cocks gun]

He knows?

He knows?

I been-a wondering how many of you there was

and when you was coming in.

[CHUCKLES] You caught us with our hands in the honey pot,

huh?

Mighty sticky, ain't it?

Why, there ain't no money in this bag, just a [inaudible]

and a bag full of washers.

Washers?

[shouting]

[shouting]

Get back here!

[gunfire]

[music playing]

Well, now what are you two up to, huh?

A surprise, Mom.

A real one.

For me?

Oh, my.

Aw.

[gasps]

Why, it's-- it's the dress from Mr. Beckwith's store.

Me and Chad's been saving ever since you

wrote Mr. Schuldenhaus that you'd

marry him, near five months.

And we earned a lot.

Festus, did you ever see such a pair?

No, ma'am, don't reckon I have.

Oh, it's the most beautiful dress in the whole world.

Do you like it, Mom?

Like it?

Never in my whole life have I had such a dress, never.

Festus, what are we going to do with these two?

Well, ma'am, I reckon it'd be kind

of hard to know just how to give them

everything they got coming.

And on top of that, you just as same as storied to your mama

when you let her think that you earned all that money

to buy the dress with it.

But we're gonna earn it all.

We're gonna pay you back

You dang bet you you are, every penny of it.

If she knew what we done, she'd make us take

the dress back to Mr. Beckwith.

You gotta see why we done it, Festus.

Well, I can see why you done it.

But what you done was wrong.

But we wrote you that note.

We said we'd mail you the money to Dodge.

Didn't you read it?

Well, I can tell you what happened there.

See, I rolled out of Dodge and clean

forgot to bring my spectacles.

And I can't read no writing at all without them.

Wrote notes, that don't make no never mind,

Chad, not when you went and took a man's money.

And you know this is wrong.

Or you'd have came right to me and asked me for it to my face.

Yes, sir.

There was no way we'd have earned enough to get

it in time for the wedding.

Mr. Beckwith wanted all his money

before he'd give it to us.

I asked him for credit when you went to the store with us.

But he said no.

We just had to have 10 more dollars, Festus.

I figured I was taking it like it was a loan.

I was wrong.

We figured that them dollars couldn't be as important to you

as they was to us.

We figured you could always get more.

You know how to make money.

Keep it going in there.

Get that fire hotter.

It ain't rendering fast enough.

Keep the fire hotter, you hear?

You gotta keep that fat feeding in there.

You out to work, ugly?

Well, that there just depends.

How long would it take me to make $10?

$10, 10 days.

And all the vittles you can eat.

That is, if you can still eat at the end of the day.

[music playing]

[splash]

Watch what you're doing, you blame knuckle-head.

[arguing]

Get back to work.

I didn't give you no dollar a day for playing.

Well, I wasn't playing.

You were playing.

Blamed idiot.

[music playing]

5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

$10 for 10 days.

Now, you tell me, when did you ever get

any quicker money any easier?

Now, don't you spend it all in one place, you hear?

[laughs]

[music playing]

If those cattle prices keep going up and going down,

we gotta get a spur in here.

Why don't you go over to "The Gazette"

and see if there's any change.

Excuse me, uh, fellers.

Mister, could you tell me where the Koberly's

Hotel for genteel ladies is?

You get much closer, they'll come out and grab you.

Right behind you, fuzzy.

[spurs jingling]

Mister, I'm looking for Charity Spencer.

Charity Spencer?

She told me she was fixing to put up here.

Koberly Hotel for genteel ladies?

To be near work, you might say.

[laughs]

Where's she at, mister?

Well, her key's here, so she must be inside.

[spurs jingling]

Then this newspaper reporter-- you know,

he's got his pad and pencil all set-- he says,

when was that, madam, when the man jumped

at you from out of the bushes?

And the woman said, no, just now when I went, yeah!

[laughter]

I'm-a looking for Charity.

Charity's the last thing you're going to get

at the Koberly Hotel, mister.

Festus, what in the world?

Charity, I been a spell to getting here.

Can I talk to you?

I guess so.

What did you want?

What can he afford?

[laughter]

Sit down.

This, uh, is surely a surprise.

Thank you, Charlie.

I don't think we need drinks, though.

This is an old friend of m--

Now, you know the rules, Charity.

No drinking, no talking.

Charity, what are you doing in a place like this here?

Well, Festus, don't you remember?

The newspaper ad-- "Koberly Hotel for genteel ladies,

convenient to all points of interest."

Well, this is the major point of interest.

You're getting out of here right now.

No.

No, I'm not.

I like it here.

You like it?

Yes.

And for the first time in my life, I'm having fun.

Why, I get a percentage of every drink.

And I've made nearly $50.

Well, what's the matter?

Well, it's money that I've came here about.

Oh, you didn't get as much from my things as you thought.

No, ma'am, I-- I got $11 more.

Well, I don't understand.

Well, I brang it to you.

You came all the way to Abilene to bring me $11?

Yes, ma'am.

[laughs]

Another glass, Miss Charity?

No, no thank you, Charlie.

Whatever you say.

Hey, where are you going with that money?

That's champagne, bud, $10 a bottle.

$10?

You bet.

And I can't cork it back up once it's open.

Charlie.

Let it go, Festus.

Let it go.

[music playing]

[laughter]

[laughter]

Festus!

Hey, look, everybody.

It's Festus.

Hello, Festus.

Clay.

Hello, Festus.

Hello, Festus.

Good luck, Miss Schuldenhaus.

Goodbye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye, Festus.

Bye, Festus.

[chatter]

Festus.

I'm sorry.

It's all right, Charity.

CHAD ELKINS: Bye, Festus.

Come and see us.

I reckon it was worth it, after all.

[music playing]

[music playing]

NARRATOR: Stay tuned for exciting scenes

from our next "Gunsmoke."

[theme music]