All language subtitles for Tour of Duty S03E09 I Am What I Am

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[SPEAKING VIETNAMESE]

Okay, let's go!
Cut us loose! Let's go!

[SPEAKS VIETNAMESE]

[SPEAKING VIETNAMESE]

Well...

damn me
if this isn't

the sorriest display
of soldiering

I've seen
since boot camp.

Put your hands up!

Specialist 4 Percell

missed identifying a sentry
in his sector.

And you see
the consequences.

But do you know why?

Because your whole damn team

was moving like
a bunch of turistas

with the Tijuana two-step!

All speed's going to get you men
is a bunch of posthumous medals.

This mission is about stealth.

And surprise!

Now, I wasn't
brought in here

to waste anyone's time.

So, ladies,

we're gonna do it again.

Take all men.

RICHLAND:
Let's go!

We're going
to stick at this

until you
get it right

or you drop dead
from trying.

Go back
to the A position.

Wait up.

General.

Sir?

How are you, son?

Oh, we stunk today.

I stunk today.
I screwed it all to hell.

That time,
but what about the other four?

Yeah, and I get the feeling
we ain't through yet.

I can't take
much more of this.

TAYLOR: So we better
get it together

and start acting
like a team.

That's right, man.
We all blew it.

Might as well tell
the NVA to stay home.

Get Sergeant Richland
to kill us.

Yeah, and the Army doesn't have
enough choppers?

We got to start stealing some
from the NVA?

PERCELL: Oh, man.

RUIZ: Here we go again.

If you ladies
are done fixing your hair,

I want you
on the demolition range!

Now!

GENERAL:
I'm very proud of you, Myron.

I always knew
you'd be an elite soldier.

Thank you, sir.

Too bad about
your Colonel Brewster.

He was a fine man.

Knew him in Korea.

Best commander
I ever had.

Well, have you given any thought
to getting out of the field?

You're dying, aren't you?

[♪♪♪]

How long have you got?

Two months.

Three, at the outside.

Why the hell
didn't you tell me before?

When it was just lung cancer,
we thought I could beat it.

Did a pretty good job.

I was in remission--

And you're still smoking.

It doesn't matter.

It's oat-cell carcinoma now.

A runaway train.

And that's it?

Nothing they can do?

No, so let's not waste
any time.

I got a lot of work ahead.

Insurance,

property transfers--

Forgive me for being stunned.

Don't start with me, Myron.

You walk in here, and
you tell me that you're dying,

and I am supposed

to stand here like
a statue for an audience?

Control your emotions.

Oh, great...

"Control your emotions."

So you're gonna die
just like you lived.

I'm a little tired.

I think I'll rest for a while.

See you at mess,
1800 hours.

Twenty more days, Marvin,

and we don't have
to worry about Richland.

Hey, come on.

How are we ever going
to forget this place?

You ain't going to forget
this place, Johnson.

This is the type of place
that forges character.

Come on, didi,
didi, didi.

So, what are you
going to do, Marvin?

I mean, what are you really
going to do, brother?

I don't know, man.

It's like part of me
wants to stay here,

and part of me
really wants all of us

to go back home
right now.

It's weird, but I'm
comfortable here.

I-- I don't even
know what I'd do

back in the world.

Sounds like
lifer talk, Johnson.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

My sensors tell me
this is the place.

Whoa. Hi, boys.

Private party.

Hey, we just
want a beer.

Anywhere else in town.

This bar is bought
and paid for.

Yeah, well, I don't see
no brothers in there.

Yeah, no hermanos,
either.

You pick up the tab,
you make up the guest list.

Oh, so this is
some new rule?

Hold it.
It's all right.

Let me ask you
a question:

Are you familiar
with Article 342

of the military code?

No, I'm not.

Well, it states

that no matter
how big you are,

any three minority soldiers
can kick your ass.

[LAUGHING]

JOHNSON:
Gumby.

Puppet like Gumby.

Forget it, man.
We'll go someplace else.

You like the way
I handled that?

Did you see
that angel?

So where are we going?

What about
your friends?

Hey, if your skin
ain't good enough,

mine ain't either.

Right on.

Right on.

Hey, Jackson. Jackson, hey, hey.

Put on these gloves.

You cut your hand,

I'm going to have to write
a letter home to your mom.

Okay, sarge.

Hey.

Trying to stare down
the jungle here, or what?

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Just thinking.

Oh. Army don't pay you
for that.

You ever play
any sports, sarge?

Yeah, I do.

Little baseball,
little boxing.

I played football.

Could have been a pro
if I was bigger.

Faster, stronger,
better balance.

You know, I fractured
my ankle my senior year.

They told me I was out
for the season,

but I, uh...

worked hard, pushed it.

Suited up
for homecoming.

Yeah? How'd you do?

Two minutes to go,

got the ball
on the halfback option,

rolled out to the left,

blocking was great.

The end came wide open.

I guess I was
a little worried

about my ankle.

Anyway, I-- I was afraid
to plant my foot,

so I kind of threw that ball
falling away.

Linebacker caught it.

Ran right past me
for a touchdown.

We lost that game.

Well, those things do happen.

But I don't think
you'd have gone out there

if you didn't think
you were ready.

That's my point, sarge.

How can you really tell?

I'm nervous.

Percell, I am nervous
every time I go out there.

You're just going to have
to lean on the guys around you.

Maybe...
Maybe I'm pushing the rehab.

I don't know anything
about all that.

What I do know is
if you get the ball,

you're going to have
to throw it.

So you plant that foot.

RUIZ:
Would you guys just drop it
and let's go eat already?

All I'm saying, Johnson,

is a big guy like that
gets in your face,

you got to tough it out.

I just got better things
to do with my time than fight.

Oh, you mean
we ain't in a war?

That ain't what I mean,
man, and you know it.

Listen up, Johnson.

Tupelo ain't going to be
like you remember it.

You were a kid, man.

And America weren't shooting
their own in the streets,

and they shoot
mostly black Americans.

That Uncle Tom crap
ain't gonna cut it.

Look, Uncle Tom ain't got
nothing to do with it,

but a black man don't always
have to make a fist

just to get
what he wants.

It depends on
what he wants.

Look, Thurgood Marshall
didn't have to make a fist

to get
on the Supreme Court.

O.J. Simpson didn't make a fist
to win the Heisman Trophy.

Andrew Young, Ralph Abernathy,
Jesse Jackson--

Whoa, whoa, whoa, nigga.

That's five
out of 20 million.

And one of them can
run the 100 in 9.4.

All right,
you know so much,

how do you say the rest
of us get what we want?

I say we take it!
Take it?

That's right, we take it!
Ain't that right, Ru?

Ru?

Ru?

Johnson?

You know,
if my mom knew

that I was seeing
a Mexican...

You?

If my dad found out

I was seeing a Puerto Rican
from the Bronx,

he would fly over here
and shoot us both.

Immediately.

[CHUCKLING]
Immediately?

Yeah, I'm not kidding.

I can't wait to meet him.

[LAUGHS]

Well, they're not as good
as quesadillas, but--

You like quesadillas?

I cook great quesadillas.

You cook?
Yeah.

My mom taught me
when I was a little girl.

She worked a lot,

so I had
to do the cooking.

I bet she's proud of you.

Yeah, well, she thinks
I should be married.

I think you'd make a great wife.

But that's not what I want
right now.

Oh, you want Vietnam instead?

No, I wanted college,
nursing school,

but I couldn't afford it.

After graduation,

one day I looked
at my mom's face,

and I saw my future.

I said "Whoa, let me
get out of here fast."

And, uh, so,
I went down and I...

BOTH:
joined the Army.

It was the first time
I was out of Brownsville

in my life.

You're crazy.

But you got a lot of guts.

How about you?
What are you doing here?

The president sent me.

[STIFLING LAUGHTER]

Actually, I thought
the food was pretty good.

I'm just not hungry
these days.

The only thing worse
than Army food

was my mother's cooking.

That's not
why I married her.

It's just...
I was away so often,

and we both
changed so much,

but in the beginning--

Well, why didn't you
just do everybody a favor,

get a divorce?

I tried when you
were five years old,

but she fought me
on it,

so we reached
an agreement.

Stay together
for the kid?

The illusion
of a perfect marriage

was important to your mother.

Well, that gave you the best
of both worlds, didn't it?

I was always faithful
to my vows.

All that time overseas?
Give me a break.

I wasn't the one
who had an affair!

You're a liar.

[♪♪♪]

If you
weren't my father...

[SOBBING]

SOLDIER:
With Lieutenant Goldman
on a three-day pass,

Lieutenant McKay,

you are the senior
officer in charge.

However,
since field maneuvers

are not your specialty,

I strongly suggest
you allow Sergeant Anderson

to lead the mission.

Understood, major.

All right, gentlemen,

S-2's got
a pretty good idea

where this NVA chopper's
based.

It looks like
a Russian-made KA-15.

And it's spotting

our cross-border
insertions.

So we're going to
take it out?

Or fly it back, your call.

Now, due to the terrain,

we're going to work on
your arrival technique.

I'd just like to go on record
as saying

I did not come to Vietnam
for this.

Noted, private.

On rappel!

Oh!

[STAMMERING]

Hey, doc, what happened?

I was falling!

PERCELL:
Well, now, that's
the whole idea.

Get going.
I'm coming down.

Wait till you're coming
out of a ship.

What a charge!

RICHLAND:
All right, people, let's go!

Now, if you have to
tear it apart,

try not to touch

the electronic sensor
equipment.

That's what makes that
bird really special.

Piece of cake, Winslow.
I tell you,

I'm going to be in
and out of there

before you know it.

No one's ever flown
a Russki op, McKay.

This will go a long way

to clearing up
your record.

My record?

Yours makes mine look
like a religious document.

Well, if you do
screw up,

I'll be there

to pull your rumps
out of the fire.

Fifty bucks says
I don't need you.

Fifty bucks says
you do.

You're on!

[BOTH LAUGH]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come.

LT.

Hey, sergeant.

How's the mission
prep going?

Well, it'll be nice to see
some real NVA for a change.

This Richland guy,
he's tough.

Yeah.

Wish you were going
with us.

Well, believe it
or not, so do I.

I heard
about the general.

Sorry, LT.

Well, it's kind of
out of the blue.

That doesn't make it
any easier.

Yeah, well, this one was
never going to be easy.

Anything I can do?

Yeah.

You bring everybody back.

Consider it done.

Sergeant.

Good luck.

Luck ain't got nothing
to do with it.

You know that.

Hey, Percell.

So, Johnson,
what are you going to do,

become mayor of Mississippi?

Hey, look, I don't have
to be governor,

but you know what?

Maybe I can work for him, huh?

Yeah, doing what, Johnson?
His gardening?

No way, Ru.

This here nigger
don't pick no cotton, no more.

Where'd this come from
all of a sudden, Johnson?

I wouldn't say
it's all of a sudden, Percell.

I'm just starting to see
the world through better eyes.

You mean with blinders.

Hey, Marcus, look, they already
killed Kennedy and King,

got the whole country rioting.

Now, the Army
ignores Phu Nhuan

and then gets rid
of Brewster?

This war's just going on
for ever and ever.

So, what's your point?

See, that's what I mean.

See, maybe there ain't no point
to us being here,

and changes need to be made
back in the world.

Oh. And I guess
the sharecropper's son

is just the boy to do it.

[LAUGHS]

Look, I don't know
what I'm going to do yet,

but the government's willing
to give me

$130 a month

just to go
to college.

If I decide
to go back to the world,

I might just take that.

Make something of myself.

Yeah, you do that, Johnson.

And I'm going to make something
of Susanna Lozada.

Who's that?

Some surgical assistant WAC
Ru met in Saigon.

We hump tomorrow.

That means I got one more night
to pursue and conquer.

Hey, Ru, maybe I should
come along

and give you a hand with that.

I don't need no help, brother.

I'm on automatic pilot.

A heat-seeker,
armed and deadly.

Oh, man.

[LAUGHTER]

Slow down, slow down.
Watch it.

I got a license.

I know.

I remember when you took
your driver's test.

Oh, yeah?

Well, your mother told me.

[COUGHS]

Yeah, I can even tell you
what you were wearing.

Maybe, but you still
weren't there.

We had a president

who felt I should be
somewhere else.

Oh. Well, how did he feel
on my bar mitzvah?

Look, Myron, anything
I could say to you now

is going to ring
kind of hollow,

but believe me,
at the time,

I had
very good reasons.

Well,
I didn't think so.

I just thought
you didn't like me.

Well, that's silly.

No, it's not.

It's the way I felt,

and don't dump on my feelings

just because you don't
understand them.

If you're going to kvetch at me
for the next 48 hours,

maybe you should turn this thing
around and go back.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I just thought
I'd let you know how I felt.

Maybe I can keep you
from making

some of the same mistakes
that I did.

Don't worry.
I'm nothing like you.

You don't even know.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING,
ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]

RUIZ:
You look wonderful tonight.

Thank you.

You told me.

You're welcome.

So how was your morning?

In the operating room?

[SIGHS]

I didn't know what I was
getting myself into,

coming over here.

Those boys...

there are pieces of them
everywhere.

Yeah, I-- I heard that 750 Evac
gets all the bad ones.

After a while,
they stop being soldiers.

You look at them,
and they've just become things.

I'm so afraid
that someone I know

is gonna come into the OR.

I don't know what I would do.

I have these dreams about it
sometimes.

You're lucky.

Dreams are the first things
people lose

when they come over here.

I am so glad that I met you,
Susanna.

Me too.

Spend the night with me?

What?

We both fear the same things.

Now is what matters.

This is a place where--

Where you don't think too much
about tomorrow.

Tu eres un desgraciado.

I'm telling you my feelings,

and you're trying
to use them

to get me into bed!
No.

You expect me to sleep with you
because you buy me dinner?

No, but what's wrong
with being attracted, Susanna?

It's the natural order.

You're just like
every other cabrón

I've ever met.

Well, maybe I'm proud
of being a man

with normal, healthy desires.

Well, I hope you have
a healthy appetite too!

Susanna!

PERCELL: They must want this
Russian chopper pretty bad

to be training us
this hard.

TAYLOR: If we pull this off,

we ought to get
two weeks in Hong Kong.

JOHNSON: No, no, no.

Put mine on the back end
of my tour.

Johnson, it sounds like
you pretty much

made up your mind.

Well, not yet.
Just thinking.

Well, while you're thinking,
think about this.

You're going to be going back
to a place

where people are going to be
calling you "boy,"

and "baby-killer."

A soldier in
a peacenik's world.

Yeah, how about a black man
in a white man's world?

Yeah, well,
we all got places

we're trying
to fit into, Johnson.

You want to talk about
not fitting in,

let's talk about doc.

Come on,
doc's all right.

I ain't saying
he ain't all right,

but we got eight guys out there
dropping hot,

and he won't carry a weapon?

That kind of screws up
with the odds.

Why don't you
cut him some slack?

You've seen him
in action.

The man's willing
to die for you.

Yeah, well, I want somebody
that's willing to kill for me.

[♪♪♪]

GENERAL: Well, I can tell you
one thing:

War was a heck of a lot simpler
in those days.

The enemy
was the enemy,

and you stayed on
different sides of the line.

No fraternizing

with people who might be
trying to kill you.

Yeah, well,
the Army's sending

a lot of mixed signals
these days.

Yeah?
You sound disillusioned.

No, I care.

Don't marry
the Army, Myron.

[CHUCKLES]
Yeah, I know, I know.

But for what it's worth,
my recommendation is

keep your career
in perspective.

Find yourself a nice wife,
have a family,

because you can
have both.

You can be both.

Well, then you tell me
why your career

always came first.

[SIGHS]
I don't know.

Maybe it was just
something I understood.

Something I was
comfortable with.

[COUGHING]

No matter
how bad it got,

at least you always
had a chance.

You could
outthink the enemy,

outmaneuver him,
outgun him.

Hell, you could even
outrun him if you had to.

I thought you never ran
as a soldier.

Soldiering
never scared me

like having a family did.

So here we are.

Show me something
I've never seen before.

[♪♪♪]

All right,
we're dead center.

We'll recon all quadrants
from this point.

ANDERSON:
There's two sensors close.

Close only counts
in horseshoes.

And dancing.

And hand grenades.

Knock it off.

Let's go.

[HELICOPTER APPROACHING]

Hit the dirt!
Take cover!

Sergeant, I think
we should definitely

check out
this quadrant first.

Hi.

Thanks.

"Querida Susanna."

[READING ALOUD
IN SPANISH]

RUIZ: I didn't want to leave
without writing you this note.

I'm sorry for the things
I said last night.

I was raised a certain way,

and it's hard to change
sometimes,

even when you know you should.

As a soldier, I was taught
to conquer an objective.

Perhaps that is not
the best way

to go out with a lady.

I can only hope
you can find it in your heart

to forgive me.

[RUIZ CONTINUES IN SPANISH]

"Tu amigo,
Alberto."

MAN:
He's hemorrhaging, Lozada.

Get back in here!

About 300 meters around,
left side.

About 700 meters around
on the right side.

Okay, that's settled, then.

We go left.
Shortest way around wins it.

Excuse me, sir.
That'd be a mistake, now.

Shortest route isn't
the best route. Look here.

Sergeant,
we're deep in Cambodia.

Yes, sir.
They don't expect us,

and they don't booby-trap
their own turf.

Yes, sir, but there will be
sentries around that chopper.

Sergeant, I know the master
sergeant said go slow,

but I don't want
to lose a chance at this bird.

I mean, what if they take off?

We'll track it down again, sir.

No, we got to go around left.

Sir, I strongly
advise we don't--

I know, sergeant,
but I'm pulling rank.

Yes, sir.

What are you doing?

I'm giving the lieutenant
every opportunity

to give the appropriate order.

Okay, Sergeant Anderson,
what would you suggest we do?

[♪♪♪]

What did you
say to him?

Nothing. I said
the coast is clear.

There is a whole lot of stuff
floating here in this swamp

we don't have cures for yet.

Tough, Hockenbury.

This is the least likely
approach to the area,

so it's the least likely
to be guarded.

Just keep pumping.

[GROANS]

[BREEZY MUSIC PLAYING]

My favorite day...with you?

Do you have any?

Yup.

Labor Day.

I was 12 years old,

and you were
shipping out for Japan

the next day,

and you took me
miniature golfing.

Do you remember that?

We played 18 holes,

and you beat me
on the last shot.

But then you said,

"You still think
you can take me?"

And I said,
"Yes, sir."

So we played
another 18 holes.

Who won?

I did.

Last shot, last hole.

[BOTH LAUGH]

And you know
why I remember that day?

'Cause there were
so few of them.

For that day,
you were my dad.

But then
we got back to the car,

and you started giving orders

about what to do
when you were gone.

You were always
the damn general.

Myron, you have a knack

for remembering things
only from one side.

I could say the same.

At least
I've tried to understand

your point of view.

What about my mother's?

Did you ever think

she didn't give a damn
about your career,

or your Medal of Honor?
How dare you?

Did you ever even consider
her point of view

the night
that she killed herself?

I've accepted my responsibility
for my part

in your mother's life
and her death.

Well, what about my life?

I always tried
to treat you

with respect.

You popped me.

You were hysterical.

My mother was dead.

And you blamed me!
That's right.

I blamed you,
and I blamed myself.

We were both feeling
the same things,

and we should have been
feeling them together,

but you just stood there
and gave orders, like always.

When you hit me back...

I knew I'd lost my whole family.

Oh, no.

You lost us years before that.

You just weren't paying
enough attention to know it.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[WHISPERING]
This sucks.

They're all up and down
the river.

Yeah, they kept a perfect
relief schedule all night.

Why don't we just pop them,
sergeant?

Too risky from this distance.

We lay here another 24 hours
and look for a weakness.

That's all we can do.

Aw, man...

One of my favorite parts
is going to sleep.

What's wrong with you?

You used to like these
little field trips, man.

Ain't nothing changed.

Sarge.

Yeah?

I can
take him out.

All right.
See you on the other side.

What's he doing?

[♪♪♪]

That's it.

All right, let's go.

ANDERSON: About twice as many
of them as we thought.

Okay, sergeant,
what do you think?

I say we go for it.

All right, just like practice,

only better.

Ruiz, Percell,

Johnson,

you clear the quadrants,
lay claymores as you go.

Burke, Taylor, lieutenant,

you mind
this approach here.

This is our way out. Doc...

you keep your eyes
open, now.

You're our back door.

Five minutes after roto-turn,
we rendezvous at PZ Delta.

If you miss your ride,
gentlemen,

you're on your own,
escape and evasion.

So don't miss the bus.

Let's do it.

[♪♪♪]

Excuse me,
Major Duncan.

Have you seen
the general?

He came back at 0630.

He took his bags
into your hooch.

Thank you, sir.

Okay, you guys set?

Taylor,
off over here.

Burke,
off over here.

[♪♪♪]

[SILENCED GUNSHOT]

Come on, Burke.

Sing for me, baby,
come on. Come on.

[GROANING] No!

What the hell's going on
there, lieutenant?

Come on, LT,
crank it!

Broken oil line!

No good.
We got to get out of here!

Give me a chance!

[EXPLOSIONS]

Come on, they'll hear
the claymores!

[GUNFIRE]

ANDERSON: Hurry up
and get him out of here!

Burke, get out of there,
I'm going to blow it!

Go, go, go, go, go!

Okay, Flytrap is sprung.
Move into PZ Romeo.

See your smoke, Flytrap.
Coming in.

Heavy contact.

Sierra-Sierra-Whiskey
on the clearing.

We could use
some help.
Roger.

We'll cover you
as close as we can.

I'm hit!

Get up, let's go,
let's go, let's go.

Move, move, move!
Go! Go!

"If we should fail? We fail.

"But screw thy courage
to the sticking place,

and we'll not fail."

Shakespeare.

"I am what I am."

Popeye.

Bank books, self-explanatory.

Military pension,
life insurance, property deeds.

The lawyer will handle
the transfers.

Uh...safety-deposit key.

Copy of my will.

Sir?

I don't want any of this.

I'd like you to come home
on compassionate leave,

when...

I used to think about you
every night.

[CHUCKLES]

I was sure you knew.

Some nights I did.

The world is yours
for the asking, Myron.

All you have to do
is be man enough

to stare it right in the eye.

In retrospect...

on some occasions...

both your mother and I
flinched.

That's your Medal of Honor.

These things...
represent the man I was.

This represents the man
I wanted to be.

[SOBBING]

I love you, son.

How's the arm, doc?

HOCKENBURY:
Fine, just a graze.

There's something
I gotta tell you.

Taylor, I've been thinking
about this a long time--

All right, everybody,
First Lieutenant John J. McKay

has an announcement
to make here.

McKAY:
Gentlemen...

it's a pleasure
traveling in your company.

This bar tab
picks up your bar tab.

That means
go, go, go!

All right!

Sarge!
Sarge, look!

She wrote me back.
You believe that?

Ru. Ru!

Guys, come on. Guys.

TAYLOR: Why you all
excited, Ru?

It's just
a stupid letter.

Well, guys...

I made up my mind.

I'm going home.

[♪♪♪]