All language subtitles for Three.Little.Words.1950.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

♪ Where did you
Get that girl? ♪

♪ Oh, you lucky devil ♪

♪ Where did you get
that girl? ♪

♪ Tell me on the level ♪

♪ Have you ever kissed her? ♪

♪ If she has a sister ♪

♪ Lead me, lead me ♪

♪ Lead me to her, mister ♪

♪ Gee I wish that
I had a girl ♪

♪ I'd love her, I'd love her ♪

♪ Oh, goodness
How I'd love her ♪

♪ If you can find another ♪

♪ I'll take her home
to mother ♪

♪ Where, where ♪

♪ Where did you get
that girl? ♪

Five bows and an encore. Not bad
for a Tuesday night, huh?

They loved you, Jess.

Come on, I'll buy you a steak.

Hey, wait. I wanna watch
Mendoza's opening trick.

- What, again?
- Hiya, Jess.

Bert, big news.
I just closed the deal for ya.

Eighty weeks solid
on the Orpheum time.

Two seasons straight.
How do you like that?

- Watch this. It's terrific.
- Huh?

Here's your new song.
Hot off the presses.

"Where Did You Get That Girl?"

Words by Bert Kalmar

co-author of "Hello, Hawaii",
"Oh! What a Pal Was Mary.""

- Am I an agent?
- Yeah, yeah. Now, look, look.

- Hey, what's goin' on?
- Magic is going on.

Oh!

Come in.

Oh, I thought
you'd be dressed by now.

Jess, listen. Come here.

I've got a great idea,
an opening for the new act.

I come out in one, see?
I'm a magician.

- Oh, a magician.
- Yeah.

I'm in a full dress suit,
medals on my chest

uh, maybe a mustache
and a little goatee.

Yes, I adore little goatees.

A-- and you come on
as my assistant.

I hand you my gloves...

Hey, wait a minute.

You're not walking out on me,
are you?

Not yet.

What you open the door for?

Because I'm a nice girl,
Mr. Kalmar.

And a nice girl
always leaves the door open.

You know, we could fix all that

so you wouldn't have
to worry about doors.

We could get married.

I'd like that.

Maybe someday when
you're not so rushed, Bert.

So you don't have to propose
in short pants.

Listen, Jess, I'm not kidding.

Neither am I.

You're too busy, Bert.

A big headliner

important songwriter.

A magician.

Now you're writing a play.

You wanna be everything
in show business, all at once.

And I just want to be a wife.

Uh-uh.
You couldn't light in one spot

long enough for the ceremony.

Okay, Jess.

But if you ever do decide
to marry me

you'll speak right up,
won't you?

You'll be the first to know.

Thanks, Jess.

Well,
what about that magic idea?

Uh-uh.

Well, what's the matter?

Just a couple of tricks
for an opening?

And for a finish,
you saw me in half. Uh-uh.

Next thing you know,
you'll be doing a single.

"Kalmar The Magnificent."

Maybe you think I couldn't.

Maybe I'll surprise you.

Nothing you did
would surprise me.

You know, sometimes I think
you'd rather be a bad magician

than a good actor.

- How do I look?
- Beautiful.

- Do I need a flower?
- What for?

I think I need a flower.

- Pretty fancy, huh?
- Just wonderful.

- Telephone, Mr. Kalmar.
- Okay.

Be right back.

Clanahan's Paradise,
the best beer on the island.

See "Kendall The Great,"
miracles and marvels of magic.

And appearing
on the stage right now

"The Four Little Boys in Gray."

Fifteen acts of...

♪ Jimmy O'Leary
Said I've got a theory ♪

♪ She's different
From all of your girls ♪

♪ She's not a queen
Like you see on the screen ♪

♪ And she ain't got
No diamonds or pearls ♪

♪ But she's mine all mine ♪

Psst. Psst. Psst.

Giant's 4, Philadelphia 2.
End of the seventh.

♪ I told her I worked
In a glue factory ♪

♪ And that's how she happened
To get stuck on me ♪

- Give me, I'll take over.
- Thank you.

♪♪ On her nose there's a pearl ♪♪

- Hey, Ruby.
- Yes, sir?

- Where are you going?
- This is my supper hour.

I thought
I'd go out for a catch.

Yeah? Well, take it on the hop
to dressing room four.

"Kendall The Great"
needs an assistant.

Okay.

Say, uh, Mr. Clanahan,
would you mind

if I asked one of the acts
to sing a song that I wrote?

It's called "On the Shores
of Araby." It goes like this.

♪ I can't forget the night ♪

♪ We met on the shores
Of Araby ♪

♪ The moon lit up the sky ♪

♪ And love lit up your eyes ♪

♪ I kissed you once
I kissed you twice ♪

♪ As I held you gently ♪

♪ That night
Upon the shores of Araby... ♪

- You wrote that?
- Yes, sir. Words and music both.

Well, take it on the hop
to dressing room four.

"Kendall The Great"
needs an assistant.

Yes, sir.

Come in.

Mr. Kendall?

Ebbets Field is that way.

No, I'm your assistant.
Mr. Clanahan said.

Okay, take those boxes backstage

and pile 'em up
behind the drapes.

Yes, sir.

When I'm on,
I'll give you signal like this.

Whenever you hear that,
you take the top box

shove an animal
through the hole in the drapes

and into the back
of the table, got it?

Hmm. Animals, huh?

I want them the way they are,
in just that order.

And don't fool around
with that goose. He's vicious.

Well, they usually are.

Ladies and gentlemen,
since time began

man has placed his trust
in the witch doctor

the sorcerer and the voodoo.

Who dares to call them frauds?

Watch carefully, please.

Is this trickery or magic?

Now, I have here
a gentleman's ordinary silk hat.

As you can plainly see,
there are no secret pockets

and no hidden springs.

I place the hat on the table.

Go on, get in there.
Go on, what are you waiting for?

And now, ladies and gentlemen,
the identical hat.

I'll fill it
from this pitcher of water.

Like this.

Is this trickery or magic?

- Oh, look, a goose.
- Yeah, but don't go near him.

He's vicious. Look.

Oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh! Oh!

I would like your attention,
please.

Watch carefully.

Now think of a card, please.
Any card in the deck.

A scientific exhibition
of mind over math.

For my next deception

I have here
a little handkerchief...

What's going on?

I'll be right back,
Mr. Clanahan.

Move.

You see a goose go by here?

I saw a lot of them down there.

Carefully, please.

Ordinary hat.
Ordinary drinking water.

I pour it in the hat like this.

Place it on my head like that.

- Where is he? Where is he?
- Just a minute, you.

That baseball player,
if I ever lay my hands on him--

Get out of my theater
and don't ever come back.

I ought to sue you
for that performance.

I ought to take you to court,
you small-time swami.

Oh, shut up.

- Hello.
- What are you doing here?

Charlie traced you for me.
Nice comedy routine, Bert.

Ah...
That maniac in a baseball hat.

I was going great until then.

I had them right there,
I was killing them.

Oh, listen to him.

Every theater in the country

is waiting for Kalmar and Brown

but "Kendall The Great"
is killing them

in Coney Island
at five bucks a night.

What were you trying to prove,
Ben?

That we ought to use magic
in the new act?

Not necessarily.
You know what magic is to me.

I-- it's a hobby.
I-- it relaxes me.

You look relaxed.

Come in.

- Say, a couple of them got away.
- Get out of here!

Bert Kalmar.

That's Bert Kalmar,
the songwriter.

Say, Mr. Clanahan,
that's Bert Kalmar.

I saw him at the Palace.

Yeah. I heard you
tell the rabbit.

I recognized him right away
without his mustache.

Sure, sure. Here, son.

And don't look
for another job right away.

Just take a nice, long rest.

Oh.

Thank you. Thank you.

And now,
with your kind indulgence

we'd like to show you
what happens

when two dancers get married.

Mr. and Mrs. Hoofer at home.
Thank you.

They loved you, Jess.
Did you see them applaud?

- Bert, I was so nervous.
- So was I. You know...

- Sorry, Mr. Kalmar.
- Bert.

It's my fault.

Flowers, Ms. Brown.

Oh, they're beautiful.
Who are they from?

The president and I.
We chipped in.

Bert, what is it?

I don't know.

"Kalmar and Brown,
who opened their new act

to bravos last month,
have been cancelled

following an accident backstage.

Doctors say Kalmar
will not be able to dance

for at least a year,
possibly two."

I couldn't think
of a tougher break.

It's Jessie I'm thinking about.

She can't
just sit around waiting.

You know what happens
when you lay off too long.

They think you're through,
and I'm not gonna

let that happen to her.

Now, why can't she just
pick up another partner

and take out the same act?

Bert, I told you,
the act needs your name.

She wouldn't make the expenses.

You sunk
a lot of dough into it, huh?

Not much. Just everything I own.

- Hello.
- Hi, Jess.

- Hello.
- I've ordered breakfast.

- How are you, Charlie?
- Good.

- Hey, doughnuts?
- Sure.

Why did you have to go shopping?
No room service?

I figured we'd save the tip.

That wolf at the door
might get pretty hungry.

I, uh, I've got to catch
a rehearsal down at Loew's.

- I'll see you, Jess. Bert.
- Bye, Charlie.

See you later.
Come here, honey.

Now, listen, that crack about

the wolf at the door,
that's out, see?

You won't be around to meet him.

- No?
- I've been talking to Charlie.

We figured you ought
to go out as a single.

I can write a new routine.

Charlie guarantees the bookings,
it's a cinch.

You boys
have been wasting your time.

My plans are all set.

I always told you
if ever I changed my mind

you'd be the first to know.

Of course,
it took a broken kneecap

to make you stop bouncing
long enough.

But, hmm, I'm satisfied.

Say, maybe you didn't hear me.

I just accepted your proposal.

Look, Jess.

I won't be bouncing
for a long time yet.

And-- and a fellow
with a wife to support

has to get around pretty fast,
you know.

Well, I'm not a girl that needs
a new sable every winter.

What about your writing, Bert?

Your play, your songs?

You don't have to click
your heels

in the air to write a lyric.

Now, wait a minute.

I'd like to write a great play,
sure. Who wouldn't?

And those songs,
they're just a sideline for fun.

I never tried to make
a living at it

and I'm-- I'm not even sure
I can.

Until I find out, I--

You don't want me
hanging around your neck.

- Is that it?
- I didn't say that.

Now, don't be sore at me, huh?

I'm not... I'm not sore.

But it isn't every day that

a girl gets... turned down.

Jessie, listen. Listen. Jessie!

Jessie!

Wish you could write
another song like that.

- I could sure use it.
- I'll tell you a secret, Al.

- So could I.
- What's the matter?

Oh, I don't know.
I just haven't hit on anything.

- I can't seem to get started.
- Oh, you will.

What do you hear from Jessie?

Oh, she framed a new act.
Doing fine.

Say, what is that?
One of your new ones?

That? Aah!

Some Amman song
one of our Nuggets wrote.

Plays it all daylong,
drives me nuts.

Get me Harry Ruby.

I think I'll throw him
out of here.

Arabian song, huh?

Not a bad tune.

Yeah, it is kinda catchy.

Hello, Ruby, come in here, son.

Let you talk to him,
you know, an Araby song

might be just
the thing right now.

- Yes, chief?
- Oh, come in, Ruby.

Uh, Bert, this is Harry Ruby.

- Eh, Bert Kalmar.
- How are ya?

Uh, Ruby, Mr. Kalmar wants to
hear that Arabian song of yours.

Yes. You bet. Yes, sir.

It's called "On The Shores
Of Araby That Night..."

"...That Night With You."

♪ I can't forget
The night we met ♪

♪ On the shores of Araby ♪

♪ The moon lit up the sky ♪

♪ And love lit up your eye ♪

- Hold it, wait a minute.
- Yeah, hold it.

- Who wrote that lyric?
- Well, I did.

- Words and music, both.
- Uh-huh?

Well, you know, you haven't got
an Arabian song there.

- You don't think so?
- No.

- Play it again, will you?
- Sure.

No, no. It-it's more like Dixie.
A Dixie tune.

Maybe Mississippi,
Alabama, Tennessee.

Sure. Look.

♪ Da-da-da-da in Tennessee ♪

♪ Da da-da-da da ♪

Gee, that's swell, Mr. Kalmar.
Tennessee!

Well, you boys go right ahead.

- Take all day if you want.
- Okay, Al. Great.

Let me see.

♪ Da-da-da-da in Tennessee ♪

♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da-da ♪

Say, don't I know you?

Oh, I don't think so,
Mr. Kalmar.

Huh?

♪ Da-da-da-da in Tennessee ♪

♪ Down among... ♪

You worked here long?

Oh, for a couple of months,
Mr. Kalmar.

- Have a cigar.
- Oh, gee, thanks.

♪ I wanna be in Tennessee ♪

That's it. Try it.

♪ I wanna be in Tennessee ♪

♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da-da ♪

Hmmm. That ought to do it.

Here, take it from the top.

♪ I wanna be in Tennessee ♪

♪ In my Dixie paradise ♪

♪ An angel's voice I hear ♪

♪ I mean my mammy dear ♪

♪ I'd give my soul
If I could stroll ♪

♪ Down among those
hills again ♪

♪ For all the world ♪

♪ Would not be dreary then ♪

♪ I'd love to go
To sleep and know ♪

♪ That tomorrow I'd arise ♪

♪ Beneath those
southern skies ♪

♪ Where songbirds harmonize ♪

♪ Lordy hear my plea ♪

♪ Make me what I wanna be ♪

♪ A rolling stone
Just rolling home ♪

♪ To my sunny Tennessee ♪

Gosh, that's wonderful,
Mr. Kendall.

Thanks.

Kendall? Oh, I remember now.

The pigeons, the rabbits.
Oh, I remember you!

Please, Mr. Kendall,
I mean, Mr. Kalmar.

Why, you pin-headed
baseball player.

Do you realize what you did
to me that night?

- It was the goose.
- Goose?

Goose?
500 people out front and--

You don't know that goose.
He was the meanest thing--

I knew I remembered that face.

I got a bad feeling
the second I saw you.

You're a menace, kid.

Why don't you run away--

Please, let bygones be bygones.

Get away from me,
I should write a song

with a jinx like you. Here.

As far as I'm concerned,
it never left Araby.

Goose!

Oh, hello, Mr. Kalmar.
I got your message.

You write this ad?

"The nation's
number one song hit

"My Sunny Tennessee"

by that sensational
new writing team

Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby."

- Well, yeah, you see, I--
- Who made you my partner?

- Well, nobody, but, eh--
- Now, listen, kid.

You might as well understand
something right now.

Just because I wrote
one song with you

that doesn't make us roommates.

I'm not teaming up
with anybody, see.

As soon as I can
swing this leg again

I'll be back in Vaudeville,
and up until then

I'll write with anyone
who happens to have a good tune.

- Now, is that clear?
- Sure. Sure.

- That's very clear, Mr. Kalmar.
- Okay.

Where are the doughnuts?
Oh. Thanks, Johnny.

Well, got any new tunes?

As a matter of fact,
I've got a tune

but I haven't thought
of any words for it yet.

Good.

- Ooh!
- My spikes!

Al Schacht gave me those.

Al Schacht. He's a pitcher
in the big league.

Maybe you've heard of him?
Al Schacht?

- Play the tune.
- Sure.

Hey, have you got
any with chocolate on top?

'Comin' up.'

You don't like it, huh?

Sure, sure.
It's a nice little tune.

You ought to do something
with it sometime.

You ought to do something
with that shirt, too.

Real silk, $4.

You got any other tunes?

Well, uh, see, I, uh...

- Oh...
- Well, don't pull a ligament.

You know, there hasn't been

a good Japanese song
for quite a while.

I got something here
I thought might work out.

I call it, "So Long, Oo-long."

I figured the rhythm
something like this, uh...

So long, Oo-long.

How long you gonna be gone?

You got something to fit that?

Well, let's see, eh...

How about this?

Uh, wait a minute.
Try that again, will you?

Ahem. Sure.

♪ So long Oo-long ♪

♪ How long you gonna be gone? ♪

Say, wait a minute.

That's the same tune
you just played.

Well, I know it.

Are you trying to put something
over on me?

Well, no,
I thought it would fit.

Well, that doesn't fit.
What's the matter with you?

You only got one tune in you?

I got plenty of tunes in me.

Well, I've only heard one tune.

Yeah, I know, right now

all I got is one rotten tune.

Take it easy, kid.
Now, don't get excited.

- Don't get excited.
- Who's excited?

- I'm not excited.
- Calm down.

I-- I'll tell you what
I'll do with you.

I'll leave this lyric with you
and if you come up

with something, give me a ring.

If you don't, well, don't worry.

See you around.

♪ So long Oo-long ♪

♪ How long you gonna be gone? ♪

♪ You're a little Japanee ♪

♪ Will be waiting
underneath the bamboo tree ♪

♪ So don't be
Too long Oo-long ♪

♪ I'll long while you're away ♪

♪ Waiting for the day ♪

♪ When you come back to me ♪

♪ I'll sit and sigh ♪

♪ 'Neath the oriental sky ♪

♪ Each day that I ♪

♪ Am left alone ♪

♪ In Nagasaki ♪

♪ So long Oo-long ♪

♪ How long you gonna roam? ♪

♪ Please don't be too long ♪

♪ Oo-long so long ♪

♪ Hurry back home ♪

♪ Ming Toy ♪

♪ Loved a boy ♪

♪ Happy little Japanee ♪

♪ Oo-long was his name ♪

♪ Set her heart aflame ♪

♪ One day he say ♪

♪ Soon I got to go away ♪

♪ When he leave ♪

♪ Ming Toy grieve ♪

♪ Everybody hear her say ♪

♪ I'll sit and sigh ♪

♪ 'Neath the oriental sky ♪

♪ Each day that I ♪

♪ Am left alone ♪

♪ In Nagasaki ♪

♪ So long Oo-long ♪

♪ How long you going to roam? ♪

♪ Please don't be too long ♪

♪ Oo-long so long ♪

♪ Hurry back home ♪

- Hiya, boys.
- Yes, sir, 10 cents.

- Right. We have--
- No, no, no.

The Palace tonight, I fixed it

with Mrs. Carter De Haven
to hear your song.

- Well--
- Not that one, the new one.

If she likes it,
she'll introduce it next week.

♪ Who's sorry now? ♪

♪ Who's sorry now? ♪

♪ Whose heart is aching ♪

♪ For breaking each vow? ♪

♪ Who's sad and blue? ♪

♪ Who's crying too ♪

♪ Just like I cried ♪

♪ Over you? ♪

♪ Right to the end ♪

♪ Just like a friend ♪

♪ I tried to warn you ♪

♪ Somehow ♪

♪ You had your way ♪

♪ Now you must pay ♪

♪ I'm glad that you are ♪

♪ Sorry now ♪

♪ Right to the end ♪

♪ Just like a friend ♪

♪ I tried to warn you ♪

♪ Somehow ♪

♪ You had your way ♪

♪ Now you must pay ♪

♪ I'm glad ♪

♪ That you're sorry ♪

♪ Now... ♪

- Oh, that's great, thanks.
- Looks like another hit.

You boys are making
a habit of it.

Thank you, Mrs. De Haven

We'll introduce it next week.

Oh, good, thanks.

Oh, Bert, how is your knee?

Oh, better, better. Thank you.

Wonderful. I'm glad. Excuse me.

Boys, it was just great.

- That's all.
- Bert, swell.

Bert, I want a copy
to send on to Jessie.

Can't you hear her sing it?

Yeah, sure.

It was like
it was written for her.

Oh, I suppose
you haven't heard the news.

- No.
- Well, it's not settled yet.

But, uh, she may team up
with Bill Courtney next season.

They'll do an act
like she used to do with you.

Oh.

Well, uh, it's not definite yet.

Well, they oughta do all right.

- He's a very talented guy.
- Yeah.

- See you later, Charlie.
- Yeah, yeah. Good night.

Oh, me and my big mouth.

Yeah, he doesn't talk about her
very much anymore.

Hey, where is she playing
next week?

- Jessie?
- Yeah.

Montreal, Queen's Theater. Why?

I'll see you later.

Ah...

Ah.

♪ Ra-ta-ra-ta-ta ♪

♪ Where did you
Get that girl? ♪

♪ Oh, you lucky devil ♪

♪ Ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra
Ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra ♪

♪ Ha-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra
Ha-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra ♪

What's the matter? Can't a fella
dance if he feels like it?

Well, I didn't say anything.

Now what are you gaping at?

I'm not gaping.
I always look this way.

- You hurt your leg again, Bert?
- No, no. It-- it's all right.

I just gotta cut out
those knee drops, I guess.

Yeah. You know what I think?

We ought to take
a little vacation.

I mean it.

We've been working too hard.
We're tired.

It would do us good.

We could go to Miami Beach
or New Orleans

Hot Springs or... Montreal?

- Why Montreal?
- Oh, no reason.

Nice little town,
might be a nice place

to work on that play
you're always talking about.

Besides, I got some
relatives up there

and we could get
a good home-cooked meal.

Hey, Harry,
I gave you a bum steer.

Jessie's not in Montreal
next week, it's Buffalo.

Oh, thanks.

Well, um, I got relatives
in Buffalo, too.

♪ I'm sweet Marie
From gay Paris ♪

♪ This my new car
It fill my heart with joy ♪

♪ To drive a Yankee boy ♪

♪ On the sly I wink my eye ♪

♪ When one come my way ♪

♪ I stop the motorcar ♪

♪ And then I say ♪

♪ Come on, papa ♪

♪ Hop in the motorcar ♪

♪ Sit by mama ♪

♪ And hold the hand ♪

♪ You start to raise for me ♪♪

♪ What they call the deuce ♪

♪ I'll be so sweet to you ♪

♪ Like the Charlotte Russe ♪

♪ Come on, papa ♪

♪ Beneath the shining star ♪

♪ Bounce your baby ♪

♪ Upon the knee ♪

♪ I give you the kiss ♪

♪ Like the mademoiselles do ♪

♪ Each time you ask for one ♪

♪ I give you two ♪

♪ Comme ci comme ca ♪

♪ And when you're in the car ♪

♪ You love mama ♪

♪ Ooh la la Ooh la la ♪

♪ Come on papa ♪

♪ We make love to you ♪

♪ Like you want us to ♪

♪ But if you pooh-pooh me ♪

♪ I pooh-pooh you ♪

♪ Comme ci comme ca ♪

♪ But when you're in the car ♪

♪ Don't go too far ♪

♪ Ooh la la. ♪

♪ Come on papa ♪

Thank you. Thank you.

And for my next number...

Ladies and gentlemen,

we have two very well-known
songwriters with us tonight.

Mr. Bert Kalmar
and Mr. Harry Ruby.

Would you like to hear
them sing one of their numbers?

- Hello, Jess.
- Hello, Bert.

- Hi, Harry.
- Hiya, Jessie.

Well, what shall we do?
"Nevertheless?"

Yeah.

♪ Maybe I'm right ♪

♪ And maybe I'm wrong ♪

♪ And maybe I'm weak ♪

♪ And maybe I'm strong ♪

♪ But nevertheless ♪

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ With you ♪

♪ Maybe I'll win ♪

♪ And maybe I'll lose ♪

♪ And maybe I'm in ♪

♪ For cryin' the blues ♪

♪ But nevertheless ♪

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ With you ♪

♪ Somehow I know at a glance ♪

♪ The terrible chances ♪

♪ I'm taking ♪

♪ Fine at the start ♪

♪ Then left with a heart ♪

♪ That is breaking ♪

♪ Maybe I'll live ♪

♪ A life of regret ♪

♪ And maybe I'll give ♪

♪ Much more than I get ♪

♪ But nevertheless ♪

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ With you ♪

What's he gonna do?
Go back in Vaudeville?

Yeah.

Hold it, Harry!

- Harry, wait!
- Wait!

Early riser, huh?

Ducks out without
saying goodbye.

Oh, gosh, you both
shouldn't have done this.

- You're on your honeymoon.
- Here's some candy.

- Oh, thanks, Bert.
- And a little fruit.

Oh, that'll come in handy.

I like a little fruit
once in a while.

Say, you mind
if I kiss the bride?

Bye, Harry.
And thanks for everything.

You know what I mean.

Oh, here, from me to you.

Well, now, guys,
you shouldn't have done that.

- I wanted to.
- Oh, uh, here's some newspapers.

- Oh?
- And read a book sometime.

It might improve your brain.

All aboard!

Well...

We wrote a lot of good
songs together didn't we, Bert?

We sure did, Harry.

Well, bye, Jessie.

- Bye, Harry.
- Bert.

Bye, kid.

Good luck to both of you.

- Good luck to you, kid.
- Don't forget to write.

Yeah, I'll keep in touch
with your bookings

through "Variety."

- So long.
- Buh-bye.

Not so very hungry
this morning, sir?

No, I'll just have
some more coffee.

And a couple of doughnuts.

Yeah, a couple of doughnuts.

Yes, sir.

- Harry.
- You alone?

Why don't you join us?

Well, you're in Buffalo?

We've cancelled Buffalo,
we're going on a honeymoon.

- Toast, Bert?
- Thanks.

We've also cancelled
Syracuse and Rochester

and 40 weeks next season.

Well, that's a long honeymoon.

Where are you going,
up the Congo?

We thought we might buy
a little house somewhere

and settle down.
How about Pelham, Bert?

Pelham's nice. Coffee, dear?

Yes, warm it, hmm?

Well, what about the team?

- Yeah, what about the team?
- I don't know.

Do you think it should be
"Kalmar and Ruby"

or "Ruby and Kalmar?"

Mm, either way.

First billing doesn't mean
much to songwriters.

- Cream, dear?
- Yes, just a little.

You mean,
you're not gonna do the act?

Th-- that the team's
Bert and me?

Uh-uh.

Oh, Jessie, you're wonderful.

Look, it's okay
to admire my wife.

Would you mind taking
your elbow out of my butter?

Hmm?

Oh, I'm sorry, Bert.

Oh, gosh. Oh.

Wait a minute.
Start again, will you?

♪ All alone Monday ♪

♪ Singin' the blues ♪

I'll take it.

Here. Pick a card. Any one.

- Ten of clubs.
- Hey, that's all right.

Hello.

Oh, just a moment, please.

Harry, telephone.

Oh? Thanks.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Terry.

Yeah, I'm still working.

Huh? Yeah.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Oh, sure, I do.

What? Huh?

No. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, bye.

- It was a girl.
- Really?

We didn't think
it was your Uncle Max.

How long has this been going on?

Oh, a couple of months.

In fact, we're engaged.

- Oh, Harry, that's wonderful.
- Oh, wow!

She's sweet, I know
you'll like her, Jessie.

Oh, I'm sure we will.

-Hi,
Joe.

♪ All alone Monday ♪

Hey, that's our tune.

♪ All alone Tuesday
Reading the news ♪

Say, that redhead's
singing our new song.

That's Terry.

- That's Terry?
- Mm-hmm.

- Oh!
- Harry, she's beautiful.

Wait till you meet her.

♪ Till the dawn comes ♪

♪ By myself Thursday ♪

♪ Twirlin' my thumbs ♪

♪ Friday is my day ♪

♪ So I spend Friday all alone ♪

♪ On Saturday ♪

♪ I dread the coming ♪

♪ Of Sunday ♪

♪ Monday the week ♪

♪ Starts anew ♪

♪ I'm certain I could endure ♪

♪ The week to the end ♪

♪ And lam sure ♪

♪ The days that I spend ♪

♪ Wouldn't be lonely ♪

♪ If I were only ♪

♪ All alone with you ♪

♪ On Saturday I ♪

♪ Dread the coming of Sunday ♪

♪ Ooh, Monday the week ♪

♪ Starts anew ♪

♪ I'm certain I could endure ♪

♪ The week to the end ♪

♪ And lam sure ♪

♪ The days that I spend ♪

♪ Wouldn't be lonely ♪

♪ If I were only all alone ♪

♪ With you ♪

- Hello, honey.
- How are you, dear?

Miss Lordel,
Mr. and Mrs. Kalmar.

- Hello.
- This is Jessie, Bert. Terry.

- How do you do?
- Hello, Terry.

I'm glad to know all of you.

Oh, Mr. Kalmar, I wanna tell you
about that number of yours.

It's just terrif. It's sensashe.

Thanks. You certainly sang it.

Oh, thank you.

Of course,
Snooky rehearsed me in it.

- Snooky?
- Snooky.

This is Snooky.

- Hiya, Snooky.
- Oh, she calls me Snooky.

Isn't he sweet?
Ooh, I could just eat him up.

Light me, please?

- I beg your pardon?
- Light me?

Oh, y-- yeah, of course, sure.

Oh! Oh, that's terrif.

- Do you know any more tricks?
- Oh, yeah, I-- I...

I, uh, I understand

congratulations are in order,
Miss Lordel.

Oh, well, thank you, but, well,
I haven't got the part yet.

She's trying out
for a part in the Follies.

Oh, well, I really meant
about you and Harry.

Oh, Harry.

I thought you weren't
gonna tell anybody yet.

They're my best friends,
I've gotta tell them.

Oh, that music.
Oh, I've simply got to dance.

- Will you?
- Sure.

All right!
Oh, I can't dance in this.

Look, I've got to change.

Now, you be sitting right there

when I get back.

You hear?

Bye.

What do you think of her?

Well, she's very peppy,
isn't she?

Yeah, she's got a lot of life.

Boys, that's Phil Goodman
I'm sitting with.

The big theatrical producer.

He loved your song and he wants
it for his new show.

- Yeah?
- And that's not all.

He wants you to write
the whole score.

- A Broadway show?
- Sure.

Words and Music
by Kalmar and Ruby.

Who did it, huh? Who did it?

Let me shake the hand
of the man--

Terry. Terry's singing our song.

That's who did it.

Oh, Bert.

♪ You're here with me ♪

♪ I'm here with you ♪

♪ We need
no secret rendezvous ♪

♪ We'll find romance ♪

♪ Where e'er we chance ♪

♪ To be ♪

♪ The sweetest theme ♪

♪ Runs through my dream ♪

♪ Each night I seem to see ♪

♪ A home for two ♪

♪ In view for you ♪

♪ And me ♪

She could do the Phyllis part.

Yeah.

What was your name again?

Eileen Percy.

Any experience, Miss Percy?

Stock mostly, two seasons.

I'd like you to read
something for us.

If you can handle lines,
I'd say the part's yours.

- Thank you.
- Mr. Goodman!

Mr. Goodman,
boy, are we in luck.

I just found out
that Terry Lordel is available.

Terry Lordel?

Yeah, you remember t-- that girl
at the club the other night?

- She's just a singer.
- She can sing. She can act.

She can do anything. She'd be
great for the Phyllis part.

- Wouldn't she, Bert?
- I don't know, Harry.

W-- well, Let her read the part,
that's all I ask.

- When could you get her in?
- Anytime. Hey, Terry!

Come in here!

♪ All alone Monday ♪

♪ Singing the blues ♪

♪ All alone Tuesday ♪

♪ Reading the news ♪

♪ Staring and blinking ♪

♪ Sitting there thinking ♪

♪ All alone ♪

♪ On the shelf Wednesday ♪

♪ Till the dawn comes ♪

♪ By myself Thursday ♪

♪ Twirling my thumbs ♪

♪ Friday is my day ♪

♪ So, I spend Friday ♪

♪ All alone ♪

♪ On Saturday ♪

♪ I dread the coming ♪

♪ Of Sunday ♪

♪ Monday the week ♪

♪ Starts anew ♪

♪ I'm certain I could endure ♪

♪ The week to the end ♪

♪ And lam sure ♪

♪ The days that I spend ♪

♪ Wouldn't be lonely ♪

♪ If I were only all alone ♪

♪ With you ♪

- You're the understudy, huh?
- Uh-huh.

It must be a pretty tough job.

You're so anxious
to get out there.

- Uh-huh.
- Ah, I wouldn't worry.

You'll get your chance.

Well, I've already
had my chance.

How's that?

Well, I almost had
a good part once,

but they gave it
to someone else.

Oh, that's a shame.

I wouldn't worry about it.

Somebody's bound to get
sick some night.

- Not her.
- No, not Terry.

She's plenty healthy.

Besides, I won't be here
much longer.

- Oh?
- I'm going out to Hollywood.

- Oh, movies, huh?
- Mm-hmm.

Well, I wish you
all the luck in the world.

Thanks.

Ever anything I can do,
let me know.

That's very nice of you,
Mr. Ruby.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

- Nice going, Terry.
- Oh, thank you, Mr. Kalmar.

Snooky.

Oh, fine.

How's the third act coming?

It isn't.

I'm worried about him.

Who, Snooky?

That girl is all wrong for him.

She'll ruin his life.

He's pretty crazy about her.

Ah...

he's not responsible.

He ought to be
chained up someplace.

You know,

if Harry left town for a while,

that girl would be engaged
to four different fellas

within a week.

Maybe we could
get him out of town.

How? Ship him off
to boarding school?

He's a big boy now.
Wears long pants.

Could Al Schacht help?

Al Schacht?

That friend of Harry's,
the big-league pitcher.

Oh, Al Schacht is down
in Florida with the team.

How could he help?

- Well, he could ask Harry to--
- Hmm, wait a minute.

I'll get Al to invite
Harry down to Florida,

work out with the Senators.

Bert, that's exactly
what I was--

Say, that's an inspiration.

Western Union, please.

Why didn't I think of it before?

I really wouldn't know.

Hey, Al, get a load of this.

Let's see it.

Hey, Ruby, take it easy,
will you?

Come on, Al. Throw a fast one.

Well, throw a slow one.

- Hey, Harry!
- What's the matter?

- Nice playing, Harry.
- You all right, huh?

- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm okay.

- You okay, Harry?
- No, I feel fine.

How are you feeling there?

Hey.

Fine, play ball. Play ball.

Hit it!

Nice going.

Come on, Ruby!

You moved it.

Lay out. I'll take this one.

- Are you all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

You sure, you're okay?

Harry, you wanna try it again?

- Harry!
- Bert. How are you?

- Say, you look great.
- Oh, I feel great.

- Had a good time, huh?
- Yeah.

Whoa, a little Charley horse
there.

Hey, where's Terry?
Didn't she get my wire?

Come here, I got
a little bit of news for you.

- She isn't sick?
- No.

- She's married.
- Oh, well, that's good.

Married?

- When?
- Saturday night, after the show.

Went to Greenwich
with a saxophone player.

So, I guess I shouldn't have
left town.

You made a wrong move, son.
Want a drink?

- Yeah.
- What will it be?

- Grape juice, please.
- Make it two.

Not to change
the subject or anything,

but uh, I've been kind of busy
while you were away.

- Saturday night, huh?
- Yeah. Look.

- What's this?
- The play, my play.

- I finished it.
- Oh, swell, Bert.

They went to Greenwich, huh?

Yeah. I want you
to read it, Harry.

- I'd like your opinion.
- Sure.

I'm gonna produce it myself.
I'm putting up part of the cash.

I got a broker from Wall Street
putting up the rest of it.

A saxophone player, huh?

Look, you're not gonna
let this thing throw you.

Because if you are,
I'm gonna feel terrible.

Oh, why should you feel
terrible, Bert?

You've had nothing
to do with it.

A saxophone player.

I haven't slept a wink
since I read it.

Look, Charlie, I don't know
anything about plays,

but do you think Bert
ought to produce this himself?

- Nobody else will handle it.
- What do you mean?

Has this script been around
to regular producers?

- Oh, sure.
- Well, what do they say?

Nothing much.

A couple of them say
it'll be a sure-fire flop.

Oh! Well, did you tell Bert?

You tell him.

Oh, fine.
That's all I'd have to do.

Look, I'm not worried
about the dough he'll lose.

I'm thinking of Bert, his pride.

He's higher than a kite
on this thing,

and if it flops,
he'll never get over it.

Well, what do you want from me?

I...

Look, can Bert handle this
without that Wall Street guy?

- Not a chance.
- Well, then, call him off.

Tell him the play is no good.
Get him to pull out.

Harry, I can't.

Look, if Bert's gonna
fall on his face,

maybe we just better let him.

He wouldn't let it happen to me.

Look, get that broker
on the phone.

I'll talk to him myself.

What do you mean he pulled out?

- Why would he pull out now?
- Bert, please.

All I know is that he's out,
he doesn't want any part of it.

Well, I'm still asking you why.

Maybe Mr. Miller just decided
he didn't like the play anymore.

- Was that it, Charlie?
- Yeah, just about.

Ah, he's a broker.
What does he know about plays?

Listen, I spent
a lot of time on that thing.

And it's not
the first play I've written.

I've done six plays.

I tore 'em up because they
weren't what I wanted.

Now I've got something,
I know it.

And a broker says
it's no good.

Oh, I-- I thought it was
your first play, Bert.

He hasn't talked much about it,

but he's worked very hard.

Well, I'm no broker, but...

Well, anything I've got, you're
welcome to, you know that.

Oh, no, no.
It's all right, forget it.

Well, I, uh, I gotta go along.

I gotta catch an act
at the Fordham.

- So long, Bert.
- So long, Charlie.

- Harry.
- I'll see you later, Charlie.

Oh, look, Bert, now,
you're not gonna

let this thing lick you,
are you?

Because if you do,
it's gonna lick me too, and...

I'd feel awful.

Why should you feel awful?

Is it your fault
a broker doesn't know

a good play when he sees it?

Try it this way.

That ought to fix it.

I don't think so.

♪ Da ta ra ra
ta ta ta ta ta ta ♪

- Too many notes.
- It's not too many notes.

- Yeah.
- Look. Hey, fellas.

Can we borrow your piano
just a minute?

Well, listen.

♪ I wanna be loved by you ♪

♪ Just you and nobody
else but you ♪

♪ I wanna be
loved by you alone ♪

♪ Po po pi do ♪

♪ I wanna be kissed by you ♪

♪ Just you and nobody
else but you ♪

♪ I wanna be
kissed by you alone ♪

♪ Po po pi do ♪

- Yeah.
- Come on, come with us.

♪ I wanna be loved by you ♪

♪ Just you and nobody
else but you ♪

♪ I wanna be loved by you ♪

♪ Alone ♪

♪ Po po pah do ♪

♪ I wanna be kissed by you ♪

♪ Just you and nobody
else but you ♪

♪ Oh, I wanna be
kissed by you alone ♪

♪ Po po, I couldn't aspire ♪

♪ To anything higher ♪

♪ Than fill a desire ♪

♪ To make you my own ♪

♪ Pa pa pi da po po pa ru ♪

♪ Hmm,
I wanna be loved by you ♪

♪ Just you and nobody
else but you ♪

♪ Oh, I wanna be
loved by you alone ♪

♪ I couldn't aspire ♪

♪ To anything higher ♪

♪ Than fill a desire to ♪

♪ Make you my own ♪

♪ Pa pa pi da po po pa do ♪

♪ Hmm,
I wanna be loved by you ♪

♪ Just you and nobody
else but you ♪

♪ I wanna be loved by you ♪

♪ Pa da ti da ti da di ah ♪

♪ Po po pa do ♪

♪ Don't know the time ♪

♪ Day or the season ♪

♪ I just know that I'm ♪

♪ Losin' my reason ♪

♪ By fallin' in love... ♪

♪ Don't know the time ♪

♪ Day or the season ♪

♪ I just know that I'm ♪

♪ Losin' my reason ♪

♪ By fallin' in love ♪

♪ And since I'm in love ♪

♪ I'm up in the clouds ♪

- Harry, what is it?
- Hey. What's the matter?

Steward said
you wanted to see me.

- You all right?
- Sure, I'm fine.

Remember those lyrics
you wrote for Jessie?

- I think I got a tune for 'em.
- Oh.

"Thinking Of You."

- You wrote it for me, Bert?
- Yeah, yeah.

I wanted to surprise you.

But not at two o'clock
in the morning.

I thought she'd be interested.
Go ahead, Jessie, sing it.

♪ Why ♪

♪ Is it I spend the day ♪

♪ Wake up and end the day ♪

♪ Thinking of you ♪

♪ Oh, why ♪

♪ Does it do this ♪

♪ To me ♪

♪ is it such bliss ♪

♪ To be ♪

♪ Thinking of you ♪

♪ And when
I fall asleep at night ♪

♪ It seems ♪

♪ You just tiptoe ♪

♪ Into all my dreams ♪

♪ So, I ♪

♪ Think of no other one ♪

♪ Ever since I've begun ♪

♪ Thinking of you ♪

Oh, Bert.

- Nice tune, Harry.
- Oh, Harry, it's wonderful.

Thanks.

Thank you for the song, Bert.
It's beautiful.

You know, Harry never wrote
a melody like that before.

He must be in love or something.

Why does he have to be in love?

Songwriting is a business.

You could write a love song
in a subway train.

Not a love song like that.
You have to feel it.

Didn't you?

Oh, I think of you
once in a while.

Thank you, darling.

All the same,
I still think Harry's in love.

Don't be silly.

Just because a fellow writes

a romantic tune,
that doesn't mean

he has to be Beethoven.

Any good songwriter can...

Don't look now,
but here comes Beethoven.

And Capri was impossible.

Actually impossible.

Pepi, dear, be a good little
sweetheart and run along.

Al Schacht.

Go on home.

- Back to third.
- Oh.

Go on home.

Back to third. Go on home.

- Back to third.
- Hey.

Al.

Get her up there, Al.

Higher. Thank you.

What about you, Harry?

- Me?
- Yeah.

Give me the ball.

All right. Lift her up.

Higher.

Higher!

Thank you!

Oh, wait a minute!

You all right?

Yes.

Okay.

Ooh.

Ball took a bad hop.

"A bad hop. A bad hop."

We go to rehearsal in two weeks.
What do I tell Sam Harris?

The ball took a bad hop?

He'll be delighted.
Oh, you and your baseball.

Every time I turn around,
you're playing baseball!

That's for kids. Kid stuff!

Well, I suppose
magic's for growin' up.

What's magic got to do with it?

Here, pick a card. Pick a card.

Now, don't let me see
which one you take.

Ace of clubs? Right? Correct.

Hooray!

It's not the same thing at all.

We have no regular partnership,
you know.

Any time one of us wants to
break this thing up, it's okay.

Well, it's all right with me
too.

All right, then that's
understood!

- Okay!
- Okay, okay!

Now, play this thing again.

No, don't play it. Sing it.

♪ Hooray for Captain Spalding ♪

♪ The African explorer ♪

♪ Did someone
call me Schnorrer ♪

♪ Hooray hooray hooray ♪

How do you think
it's going, Bert?

Pretty good so far.

Take a walk around.
See what they're saying.

Okay.

- Wonderful first act, Mr. Ruby.
- Thank you.

Oh, hello. Hello, there.

- You don't remember me, do you?
- Sure. You, uh...

- The understudy in The Ramblers.
- That's right.

Well, last time we met, you were
on your way to Hollywood.

How'd you make out? All right?

- Oh, pretty well.
- Oh, that's good.

Bert and I are thinking
about going out.

Uh, Bert, you remember Miss...

- Oh, yes, yes. Of course.
- How do you do?

How are you, Mr. Kalmar?

Now, they're figuring
on making a movie

out of The Ramblers.

That's wonderful.

- Well, you must look me up.
- Well, we sure will.

Oh, they're taking our picture.

Yes.

One more, please.

- Thank you.
- Hey, the show must be okay.

They're taking our picture.

Well, goodnight.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

Goodnight.

What do you mean
taking our picture?

I don't suppose you know
who that is.

Sure, don't you remember her?

She was the understudy
in The Ramblers.

- Nice kid.
- You ought to see more movies.

-Why?

Come here, son.

See that sign?
There's your understudy.

She's a movie star?

Oh, she must think I'm crazy.

Wait a minute.

Now, how could anyone
possibly think you're crazy?

Oh, come on.

♪ I love you so much ♪

♪ I can't conceal it ♪

♪ I love you so much ♪

♪ It's a wonder
you don't feel it ♪

Yeah, i-- it's all right.
It's all right, but...

- You got any other tunes?
- Yeah, let me see.

Yeah, I got something
that'll fit.

Of course, you have
to take off one word

to make it "I love you so."

Let's hear it.

♪ I love you so ♪

♪ I can't conceal it ♪

♪ It's a wonder
that you don't feel it-- ♪

Harry, cut it out, will you?

Now, for the last time,
I'm telling you.

Lay off that tune.

What's the matter with it?

Nothing, only he's been
trying to sell it to me

once a week ever since
the first day we met.

I can't help it, Bert.
I can't think of a title.

How can anybody ever think
of a title for that thing?

♪ La da da da ♪

♪ Pee pee pa dee ♪

Oh, that's a nice title.

What else can you say?

- Play that other thing, will ya?
- You don't like it.

I love it, I'm crazy about it.
Play it, will you?

Hey, who do you think's
gonna be in our picture?

- Who?
- That understudy.

♪ I love you so much ♪

♪ I can't conceal it ♪

♪ I love you so much ♪

♪ It's a wonder
you don't feel it ♪

♪ I love you so much ♪

♪ My eyes reveal it ♪

♪ I love you so much ♪

♪ It's a wonder
you don't feel it ♪

♪ I've decided
that I am through ♪

♪ With all this
rambling about ♪

♪ I don't know
what I'd ever do ♪

♪ Without you ♪

♪ I'm telling you ♪

♪ I love you so much ♪

♪ I can't conceal it ♪

♪ I love you so much ♪

♪ It's a wonder
you don't feel it ♪

♪ We love you so much ♪

♪ I don't believe it ♪

♪ We can't conceal it ♪

♪ La di da da ♪

♪ We love you so much ♪

♪ Ti da da da ♪

♪ It's a wonder ♪

♪ You don't feel it ♪

♪ We love you so much ♪

♪ I can't believe it ♪

♪ Our eyes reveal it ♪

♪ La di da da... ♪

♪ We love you so much ♪

♪ It's a wonder
you don't feel it ♪

♪ Now, I've decided
that I am through ♪

♪ With all this
rambling about ♪

♪ We don't know
what we'd ever do ♪

♪ Without you ♪

♪ Uh-huh, you're telling me ♪

♪ We love you so much ♪

♪ I can't believe it ♪

♪ We can't conceal it ♪

♪ La di da da... ♪

♪ We love you so much ♪

♪ It's a wonder
you don't feel it ♪

♪ Because you ♪

♪ L ove me so ♪♪

Cut! Get a lily.

Print three and four.

- That was very nice, Eileen.
- Thank you.

- Sounded swell, Eileen.
- Thanks.

Say, don't you ever get tired
of watching this?

Not the way you do it.

You should've been the star
in the Broadway version.

- Oh, I don't know.
- Yeah.

- You really think so?
- Sure.

She'd have been great.
Wouldn't she, Bert?

Why don't you go out and get
yourself a cup of coffee?

Who wants coffee?

Coffee's good for you sometimes.

My crazy friend,
Kendall The Great.

No, I mean it. How did we ever
happen to pass you by?

Well, it's a long story.

- Well, I'm interested.
- He's interested.

Well, I tried out for the part.
It was practically all set.

Then a fellow brought in another
girl. A very pretty girl.

- Uh, he was a songwriter.
- Named Snooky?

- That's right.
- Snooky?

Whoever heard of
a songwriter named...

Shoo... Me?

Oh, you mean that girl I...

Oh, well, look,
you're a magician.

Make me disappear.

♪ I can't forget
the night we met ♪

- It looks lovely, Lennie.
- Thank you.

I'll let you know when to light
the candles and bring it in.

♪ The moon lit up the sky ♪

♪ And love lit up your eye ♪

♪ I kissed you once ♪

♪ I kissed you twice ♪

♪ And I held you gently ♪

♪ That night upon ♪

♪ The shores of Araby ♪

All right, so I wrote
a lyric once.

Oh, no, you didn't.

"My Sunny Tennessee"
was a great song.

This is a very happy,
happy anniversary.

Happy days.

Get our boy here.

Oh, I'm celebrating
with my friends.

You know, this is the third time

in my life I've had
more than one drink.

- Very interesting.
- Yes, it is.

Come here, Charlie. Look...

Very interesting.

- I didn't say anything wrong.
- No, you said nothing at all.

Well, it's a great privilege
to be with you boys tonight.

And I mean that.

And I can say it in this room.

It's a nice room.

Hmm. Well, you know,
you fellows have written

lots of songs together.

But more than that,
you've been friends.

That's the most important thing
in the world, are friends.

Shall I put some
bicarbonate in this?

It wouldn't hurt.

You know, you've got a friend,
and you've got a friend.

And that's what I like to see.
Friends.

Very funny, Charlie.

We'll spot it
in our next picture.

- Hmm.
- Here.

Hey, look at that, huh?

- Here, drink that.
- Yeah.

Hey, I was just thinking...

The time Harry called
Tony Miller.

And you said, "Mr. Miller,

"if you back that play

"you're gonna be
the brokest broker

that ever stepped on Broadway."

- Remember?
- Yeah.

Um...

what play was that?

Mm?

Your play. You wrote it.

And your friend
got you out of it.

And then we went up to see him.

And when we told you...

I will never forget
the expression

on your face as long as I live.

Believe me,
I'll never forget it.

Oh, hey, Bert,
that was a long time ago.

I-- I think
I better get some coffee.

Charlie's got the talkers.

Just kidding, huh?

No, I always meant
to tell you about it, Bert,

but I just never
got around to it.

Hmm.

I can understand that.

What was on your mind, Harry

when you crabbed
that deal for me?

- Well, what do you think?
- I'm asking.

Well, I didn't want you to flop.

You know, that play
wasn't too good, Bert.

You decided that.

Oh, why not? You're an expert.

Now, wait a minute.

You're not gonna pull a peeve

after all these years.

What do you expect me to do?

All right, I was wrong.

I just didn't want
you to get hurt.

That's very touching.

Well, why else would I do it?

Whatever the reason,
you had a sweet nerve.

Well, what do you mean
whatever the reason?

All I know is I wanted
something very much.

And now I find out
my partner did me out of it.

Well, I told you why.
I was worried.

About me or yourself?

Oh, sure.

Now, I get it.

You think I didn't want you
to have that play.

I was scared
the play might click

and bust up our partnership.

And then I couldn't
lean on you anymore.

Is that what you mean?

If I believed that,
I couldn't be any sorer

than I am now.

But you do believe it.

You must think
I needed you pretty badly.

You must have thought so.

Not that badly.

Look, I'm not
forgetting anything.

I know what I was
when I ran into you.

A song Nugget.

But even without you,
I might have gotten somewhere.

It's just possible.

All by myself.

It's not too late to try.

Harry. Bert.

Come on, it's time
to cut the cake.

Come on.

Everybody's waiting.

Harry. Bert. Come on.

- Make a wish, make a wish.
- Make a wish, come on.

Hello, hello, uh, Bert? Marty.

Say, uh, some of
the boys down here

got a hold of a screwy item
for tomorrow's issue.

Listen...
"Kalmar and Ruby split.

"Songwriting team
are calling it quits

"after a long
and successful partnership.

"Understood Kalmar
will devote his time

to stories
and screenplay writing."

Say, will you tell
the boys they're crazy?

Oh. Oh, okay, Bert.

Sorry.

Print it.

Nice tune.

Have you got any lyrics for it?

No. No words.

Ever hear from Bert?

No, he's, uh, writing
those scripts.

Doing real well, they tell me.

You know,
Bert's really a smart fella.

Oh, that's nice too.

That's one
of the nicest melodies

you've ever written, Harry.

It's always been my favorite.

♪ It seems ♪

♪ You just tiptoe ♪

♪ Into all my dreams ♪

♪♪ So, I ♪♪

♪ Think of no other one ♪

♪ Ever since I've begun ♪

♪ Thinking of you ♪

It's different from the rest.

You must've been
very much in love

when you wrote this one.

Well...

You wanna know something?

I think I wrote it too soon.

- Morning.
- Morning, Jess.

- Been working all night?
- Most of it.

There's a review
of your picture in here.

Oh, what'd they say?

Hmm. You're a big man
this morning.

"The story by Bert Kalmar
is thoroughly enjoyable.

The dialogue neat
and deftly turned."

- How's that?
- Let me see it.

I love good notices.

Hey, did you see this?

"Eileen Percy, screen star,
weds songwriter Harry Ruby."

Mm-hmm.

They flew to Yuma last night.

She's a very nice girl, Bert.

Yeah.

Well, we didn't have to wire
Al Schacht this time, did we?

Uh-uh.

You didn't eat a thing.

I wasn't hungry.

- Just tired, hmm?
- Oh, a little bit.

♪ You are my lucky star ♪

♪ I saw you from afar ♪

And so, ladies and gentlemen,

we bring to a close
another issue

of The Songwriters' Parade.

Tonight's
honored guests were

Arthur Freed
and Nacio Herb Brown.

We'll be back again next week

to pay tribute once again
to the men

who write America's songs.

At that time,
we'll be happy to present

as our guests...

Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby.

Is that Phil Regan
out of his mind or something?

I don't know.

Whoever told him
to announce a thing like that?

A personal appearance!

Well, there's nothing
so terrible about it.

Nothing so terrible?
A radio show

with two people
who don't talk to each other?

I wanna get
that Regan on the phone.

No. You can't do that.

-Why not?
Because, well...

If Phil Regan was nice enough
to think of you,

the least you can do
is to be there.

I'll take that.

H-- he ought to know better than
to announce a thing like that

without checking first.

What kind of a business is this?

- "Kalmar and Ruby," he said.
- Hello?

- "Kalmar and Ruby!"
- Oh, hello, Eileen.

Like we were brothers
or something!

Well, I don't know.

That doesn't mean
I have to go, you know?

- He ought to stop thinking...
- How's it going at your house?

Well, uh, hold on.

Great. How can they do
a thing like this?

I didn't okay it.

Better call him up and tell
him to get another boy

'cause I'm not gonna be there.
And I'll bet you a dollar

Bert won't be there either.
What'd they expect me to do?

Play the piano while Bert
makes the microphone disappear?

Well, it's a little early
to tell yet, Jessie.

I know what you mean.
Keep your fingers crossed.

Who told them to do it?
That's what I wanna know.

Who put 'em up to it?

Mm, if they ever find out

that we did this...

Listen, Eileen,
I'll call you back later.

We're on the air, boys.
Shake hands,

and come out fighting.

- Ah, let's go...
- Oh, come on, Harry.

Ah, this whole thing's silly.

I don't like it, Eileen.

Oh, I know.
In a way, it is embarrassing.

But after all, Phil Regan was
nice enough to think of you.

The very least
you can do is be there.

Eileen! Harry!

- Jessie!
- Come in.

- How are you?
- How are you, Eileen?

- You look wonderful.
- I'll take your hat.

- Hello, Bert.
- Hello, Eileen.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Pull up a stool.
- Oh, thanks.

Well, it looks like we're stuck
with this thing, huh?

I guess so.

You got any ideas
what we might do?

Um, I found one
of the old routines.

It might be okay.

That thing we did
at the Friars, remember?

Sure.

Oh, sure. Sure. This is okay.

Wanna rehearse?

Oh, I know the music.
You know the words?

Yeah, I know the words.

Well, I guess
we don't have to rehearse.

I guess not.

Well, I'll see you tomorrow
night, I guess.

I guess so.

Oh, say, um...

I caught your picture
the other night.

- Nice job.
- It's all right, I guess.

I hear you've been knocking
out good tunes lately.

Oh, I've been kicking it
around a little.

You, uh, got anything?

Sure. Sure, I've got one little
tune I've been working on. Uh...

- Good, good.
- Of course, you won't like it.

- What won't I like?
- What I got.

I haven't heard it yet.

Okay.

Sounds vaguely familiar.

Well, I told you
you wouldn't like it.

I never said that. It's a nice
tune, a very nice tune.

You never got
a title for it, huh?

No, in fact, never did.

There was "La-Da-Dee-Da"

and "Beep-Beep-A-Deep."

That's about all we got.

Well, let's see, we ought to get
something for a tune like that.

Uh, play that first part,
will you?

♪ La da da da ♪

♪ Oh me, oh my ♪

No, that's no good.

You know, that's not a bad tune.

- I could've been wrong about it.
- Well, you usually weren't.

Well, let me see.

♪ La da da da ♪

♪ I love you so ♪

No, that's that thing
we had before.

We'll get it.
We'll get something.

Yeah, we'll get it.

Do you wanna work on it?

We could knock it off
this afternoon.

Okay, Bert. Let's knock it off.
Oh. I can't this afternoon.

I just remembered there's a
double-header at Wrigley Field.

Oh. Now, it's not that
I wanna go.

You see, I promised a fella to--

I see. Baseball is
more important.

No, no. Now, I'll work
with you tonight.

All night if you want to.

All right, if you want to.

No, wait a minute, I can't.

I've got
a meeting tonight.

- The Magicians Club.
- The Magicians Club?

- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- You gotta do tricks, huh?

No, I don't gotta do tricks.

Yeah, you gotta
make rabbits disappear.

No, I don't have to
make rabbits disappear.

- I'm the president.
- Well, hooray!

Yeah, hooray. You should talk.

The nation's number one
baseball fan.

"Take him out. Take him out."

Oh, now, it's my fault.

I told you,
I was willing to work.

Yeah, you don't wanna work.
You never wanted to work.

What do you mean
I never wanted to work?

Every time I wanna do something,
you're out catching flies.

- Oh, don't talk about me.
- I'll talk about you.

What about you and that
sleight of hand stuff?

- That dangling ropes in the air.
- Yeah. Yeah.

Pulling cigars out of your ears.

- Yeah.
- That's important. For kids.

- For kids?
- Yeah, for kids!

I better get him out of here.

This is what I've been
waiting for. Come on, sit down.

All right, keep your voice down.
Keep your voice down.

I didn't wanna work, he says.
What about you?

I wouldn't write that song
with you if you begged me.

Begged you?
I didn't even ask you.

I guess you just
can't help it, Harry.

- I feel sorry for you.
- You feel sorry for me?

You must think I'm just--

I can tell you
what I think of you

in three little words.

You're a dope!

"You're a dope."

Bert called me three little
words, "You're a dope."

♪ You are a dope ♪

♪ Three little words ♪

♪ Three little words ♪

It fits. Hey, Bert! Bert!

This is my house.
Why should I walk out?

You got it, Bert,
the title of the song.

- What?
- "Three Little Words."

- You got it.
- You better hurry.

You might miss
the baseball game.

Oh, anytime you're ready
to go, Eileen,

I'm ready.

- Bye, Harry. Bye, Eileen.
- Bye, Jessie.

Good evening,
ladies and gentleman.

We're here tonight
to pay tribute

to two great pals of mine.

I know they've turned out
many many hits together,

and I'm sure
you've whistled their tunes

and danced to their tunes.

But I know
you're gonna get a big kick

out of meeting them here
in person tonight.

None other than
Bert Kalmar and...

...and Harry Ruby.

Hello, Harry.
Bert, how are you?

Here they are,
ladies and gentlemen,

going to sing a medley
of their hit tunes.

♪ I wanna be in Tennessee ♪

♪ In my Dixie paradise ♪

♪ An angel's voice I hear ♪

♪ I mean my mammy dear ♪

And then we wrote...

♪ Who's sorry now? ♪

♪ Who's sorry now? ♪

♪ Who's sorry now? ♪

♪ Who's sorry? ♪

♪ I tried to warn you ♪

♪ Somehow ♪

And then came...

♪ I wanna be
loved by you ♪

♪ Just you and nobody else
but you ♪

♪ I wanna be
loved by you alone ♪

♪ Poo poo pee doop ♪

And then we sat down
and wrote...

♪ Why is it I spend the day ♪

♪ Wake up and end the day ♪

♪ Thinking of you ♪

And then we
stood up and wrote...

♪ So long oolong ♪

♪ How long you going to roam? ♪

♪ Please don't be too long ♪

♪ Oolong so long ♪

♪ Hurry back home ♪

♪ Maybe I'm right ♪

♪ And maybe I'm wrong ♪

♪ And maybe I'm weak ♪

♪ And maybe I'm strong ♪

♪ But nevertheless ♪

♪ I'm in love with you ♪

♪ Maybe I'll win ♪

♪ And maybe I'll... ♪

Oh, that's enough of that.

How would you like
to hear a brand-new song?

One we just wrote yesterday.

Well, not exactly yesterday.

As a matter of fact, it took us

about ten years.

Phil, if you please.

♪ Three little words ♪

♪ Oh, what I'd give
for that wonderful phrase ♪

♪ To hear those
three little words ♪

♪ That's all I'd live
for the rest of my days ♪

♪ And what I feel in my heart ♪

♪ They tell sincerely ♪

♪ No other words ♪

♪ Can tell it half so clearly ♪

♪ Three little words ♪

♪ Eight little letters ♪

♪ Which simply mean ♪

♪ I love you ♪

Ha-ha! Wonderful,
Bert, wonderful!

Thank you, Harry.
Wonderful. Very good.

And now, we'll leave you
with three little words.

Let's all dance.

♪ Three little words ♪

♪ Oh, what I'd give for ♪

♪ That wonderful phrase ♪

♪ To hear those ♪

♪ Three little words ♪

- Sorry.
- Darling.

- It was just wonderful.
- Bert, it was wonderful.

Harry, I always knew
that was a great tune.

♪ Feel in my heart
they tell sincerely ♪

Hey!

♪ No other words ♪

♪ Can tell it half so clearly ♪

♪ Three little words ♪

♪ Eight little letters ♪

♪ Which simply mean ♪

♪ I love you ♪