Original subtitles

[V.6.]

He restores my soul.

He guides me in the paths of righteousness

for his namesake.

Even though I walk through the valley

of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil.

For you art with me.

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.

Let us go rejoicing to the house of the Lord.

I rejoiced when I heard them say,

"Let us go to God's house."

The tribes of the Lord.

For Israel's law it is there to praise

the Lord's name.

It is there that the tribes go up.

For Israel's law it is there to praise.

I'm sorry, he was a wonderful man.

I should take a dump on that bastard's coffin!

He ripped me off of 80 grand!

And now I won't see any of it!

For love of my brethren and friends I say,

truly goodness and love will follow

me all of the days of my life

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Coffee's too hot!

Mr. Hanneran I don't make the coffee.

- Ah!

- Emily, I thought you were teaching tomorrow?

I am, I just stopped by to see dad.

I burnt my mouth!

Hi, how are you?

I'm good thank you.

Hey dad.

Where are you going?

Okay come on.

Sit down in your chair.

I brought your treat.

Come on dad.

Come on.

Can I help you?

- My boss needs a bouquet and I have like five minutes.

- Okay, what's the occasion?

- It's for a funeral.

She wants it to be very special.

She wants it to say, "I'm here for you

"and I'm sorry for your loss"

without actually saying it.

Can you do that?

- Sure.

Here you go!

Hold it up, I need to send her a picture.

She likes it, how much?

- $57.33.

- For flowers?

- Well...

- Just give me a receipt.

- There ya go.

Have a good day!

- You too!

- Hi!

- Hey.

You missed an awesome time yesterday.

Luke gets into this drinking contest

with these guys from Barony of Calafia okay.

And ends up spewing honey mead all over these tourists

from I don't know.

It was beautiful.

How was the funeral?

Sad.

- The funeral was sad?

- Sad because nobody cared.

I don't think anyone liked him very much.

See, I never really got the whole reverence for the deceased thing.

I mean, if you're a jackass in life

and then you're dead, you're just a dead jackass.

I don't know why people tip toe around it.

But look what I did.

I brought you a paper.

So how do you do this?

Never even read an obituary.

- Well...

Sometimes it's hard to find a good one.

- There's such thing as a good one?

- Yeah.

You know, it's when everyone loved

and misses the person who died.

And we're all there together sharing that moment.

- That might be harder to find than you think it is.

Let's see.

Oh, this one looks cool.

He was a priest.

- Any family?

- I mean he was a priest.

- It's better if they have family.

- Okay family.

Hmmm, let's see let's see.

Oh, here.

Dr. Tamarow, famous surgeon.

- What kind?

- Plastic.

Pass.

- Well, look at this, April Loren.

Beloved wife and daughter.

She was 31 when she died.

Oh the service is this morning.

Circling this one for you.

Here ya go my darling girl.

I have to go back to my store.

I'll see you soon?

- Okay.

- Okay, bye.

Bye.

- Place April's body in the earth.

Command her to the Lord and thank God

for her all to eager presence in our lives.

In the midst of our sadness.

We let her go today because,

faith teaches us that we will see her again.

Eternal rest reign unto her O Lord

and let perpetual light shine upon her.

- Thank you Katie.

- Oh no...

- You're a good girl.

You and April both.

Good girls.

Rest in peace, amen.

- April, you made the best times better.

And you made the worst times bearable.

You made John a better person.

You made our family better.

You were our family.

We miss you.

- Got the nice spread back at the house.

Only good thing about funerals is the food

and the booze.

- Grandma, are you coming with us?

- I'm riding with Kate.

- Kate?

April's sister Kate?

Oh my God I'm John's brother Drew.

I'm so glad you're here.

This is gonna mean a lot to John.

Are you coming over?

- I don't know...

- Oh she's coming.

We'll do shots.

- Grandma, you're not doing shots.

- Wait, I really shouldn't.

- Why not?

It would mean a lot to John.

Come on.

- Come on.

- Okay.

- Here grandma.

Grandma, how did you know that was Kate?

- Ran into her years ago with April.

- You never told me that.

- I'm full of secrets.

- So April was John's wife.

- You'd never met him did you?

Poor boy.

- And so Drew is John's brother.

- The men in this family are really taking it on the chin.

Drew's just finishing a messy divorce.

- Oh, that's awful.

- A blessing in disguise.

The ex is a raving bitch.

But you didn't hear that from me.

- Kate.

We just wanted to thank you for coming.

- It means so much to John and us.

- April was more than a daughter in law.

She was...

I'm sorry, excuse me.

- Thank you so much for coming.

- Where's the bathroom?

This is wrong.

You need to leave.

You, need to leave.

- April loved that picture.

I guess it was right before your mom died huh?

Sorry, probably not the best time to bring that up.

- We look happy.

- You know, nobody thought you'd show up here.

- Why?

- Because you've been gone for 15 years.

- Why isn't our dad here?

- I guess you wouldn't know.

He had a heart procedure the day before April's accident.

He and your stepmother are still in London.

Well, I could use a drink.

How about you?

- Yes.

- How long are you in town?

- I live here.

- Here?

Why didn't you ever come by...

- Drew!

Hi.

Oh, thank you.

How are you?

- What are you doing here?

- Well I'm here to support you and the family.

- You missed the funeral.

- Well I was wrapping up the Millwork case

and traffic on the expressway was murder.

Hello.

Who's this?

This is April's sister Kate.

- Oh my God the estranged one?

Oh, come here you poor thing.

You must be an absolute wreck.

I am so sorry for your loss.

- Thank you.

- I'm Robin Hunter Loren, Joe's wife.

Ex Wife.

- Oh, sorry.

I'm not used to saying it yet.

Where do I know you from?

Tennis club.

- Oh probably not.

- Oh.

Here, do you mind?

Thank you so much.

- I should go.

- Why?

- It's a bit much.

Nice meeting you both.

I'll clean up.

- I hear you, I'm just saying,

why do all female superheros have to wear bikinis?

You're not even functional for fighting crime.

- Actual they give you a lot of freedom of movement.

- All right, I'm tired of hearing that

showing skin is somehow damaging to me as a woman.

- Baby it's demeaning on multiple levels.

I mean what about women's rights?

- You think it's a good thing for women's rights

to just eliminate any implication of sexuality whatsoever?

- No, I...

- Let's take Wonder Woman.

What would you like her to wear, a business suit?

Am I right or what?

Oh, ooh, maybe a housecoat and curlers?!

- If they were serious about protection

they'd consider a helmet.

- I'm not saying she should wear a snowsuit

or anything like that.

I'm just saying don't dress like a...

- Like a what?

Like a slut?!

- I didn't say that.

- Spiderman, Superman, Flash,

all running around in spandex,

super tight and nobody says anything?!

I like feeling sexy, I really do.

And if I wanna wear my chain mail bikini

that is my business.

- You have a chain mail bikini?

- Two.

- Awesome.

- Hey I'm going to the deli, you guys want anything?

- Pastrami on rye.

- Hoagie and a coke.

- And a coke for me too, extra ice please.

- Okay.

- Hello Emily, you look nice today.

- Why thank you Jeff, so do you.

- Nice.

- You just ordered extra ice?

It comes out of the machine cold,

you just get less pop.

- I like it extra cold, sue me.

- Oh you would.

- No, no, no.

- Take a number.

- I would like a pastrami on...

- 38.

- That's me.

- What can I get you?

- I'd like a pastrami on rye and two cokes.

One with extra ice and

a hoagie with everything,

and a veggie on whole wheat with no mustard.

No mustard please.

- Coming up.

- Oh mustard.

Those guys at the deli are such punks.

How was the funeral?

- It was great.

- That's messed up.

- The guy whose wife died.

His brother was there and we talked a little.

- Wait.

You were hitting on a guy at his sister-in-laws funeral?

- No, mmm mmm, no.

Doesn't matter anyway, I'll never see him again.

- Okay, yeah, I think that's a good idea

because meeting a guy at a funeral,

that's creepy.

What?

- Hi.

- No way.

- How'd you find me?

- That was Robin's assistant who came in.

Is this weird?

I can go.

- No.

It's fine.

- Hi, I'm Carla.

- She works at the shop next door.

- I do.

- She has to go back now.

- No I don't.

Yes I do, yes I do.

I'm so busy I forgot how busy I am.

Are you gonna eat that?

- No.

- Thank you.

I am sorry for your loss.

- Thank you.

I'm sorry to barge in on you like this.

It's just that John didn't get a chance

to see you the other day.

And I really think it'd be good for him.

We're having dinner tonight, just the family.

- I can't tonight.

- Of course, sure.

You have a life.

- No, not really.

I volunteer at an assisted living home.

- Dinner's not til eight.

I could pick you up.

- Okay.

- Great.

I will see you tonight.

- Okay how about this.

Would you have sex with a female zombie?

If she were like really hot.

How recently turned?

Totally fresh.

I think technically that's necrophilia.

- Technically maybe.

But no one has to know.

- Well technically, you're both idiots.

Great.

Oh thank you.

- This is really good.

This is good.

- I'm not getting this!

It doesn't look like that guy at all!

- It doesn't have to.

Art is a reflection of the artist

as much as the subject.

- I'm a mess.

- You're abstract.

- Is that another word for crap?

- I'll take it.

I've always wanted to be a patron of the arts.

- What time is it?

- I'm a little early.

I hope that's okay.

So how much we talking?

- 20,000.

- How about 50 bucks?

- Deal!

- Okay thank you everyone, that's it for tonight.

If you're staying for movie night

I made brownies.

- How ya doing?

- Oh!

- Does this make you uncomfortable?

It's a lot to handle.

- Thanks Neil, I'll see you next week?

- Sure thing gorgeous.

Great to meet you.

Oh too slow!

- We'll be having the brownies.

- Yes, I'm sorry.

I have to get movie night started.

- Can I help?

- Yes.

- All right.

- Pass these out.

Brownies!

No, no.

I make them with pot.

- We should probably go before the cops get here.

- Okay, just one more thing, two minutes.

- She's a wonderful girl isn't she?

- I just met her.

- If I were 10 years younger.

- 10 years?

- I broke a few hearts in my day sonny.

There was this girl, Donna.

She could put her legs completely over her head.

And you know how the blues singers are always...

- I'm just gonna go check on Kate.

- Who's Kate?

- Sorry, I didn't mean to spy on ya.

Who is he?

An old family friend.

He doesn't have anyone so...

What is he, dementia?

He had a stroke a year ago.

So you knew him before?

- Not as well as I would have liked.

You okay?

They're your family too.

Look who I brought everybody!

- Kate!

Welcome, welcome.

- Welcome, welcome, dinner's almost ready.

Can I take your coat?

And not that you have to,

but I could take it.

- Michael, for God's sake.

- Sorry, sorry.

- Grandma, you remember Kate?

- You're not Katie.

Grandma, it's Kate.

Remember from the service?

- Of course.

Silly me, would you like some Scotch?

- Oh I'm fine, thank you.

- I'm just topping off.

- Mom, where's John?

- Oh he was here a minute ago.

- I'll go find him.

Be right back.

- Sorry.

- You don't look as much like her as I thought you would.

A little in the eyes maybe.

You know she wasn't angry with you.

She didn't have it in her.

I used to be angry all the time before I met her.

Now,

I don't know.

I don't know how I'm gonna be anymore.

I feel like I'm...

- Like you're being pulled apart.

See.

Like this.

But if you do it backwards.

It makes you whole again.

- I would like to propose a toast.

To family, the ones you're born with,

and the ones who find you.

Cheers.

Thank you for coming tonight.

- It was nice.

- It's hard seeing John like this.

- There's no easy way to have your heart broken.

Thank you for inviting me tonight.

- Do you wanna have lunch with me tomorrow?

- Yes.

- Great.

Come by my office around noon?

Okay.

Goodnight.

- Big news.

Big.

Are you ready?

Luke and I are having a baby.

- What?!

You're pregnant?!

- No not technically yet but we're gonna start trying.

- You'll be a great mom.

- Right, I know.

And Luke is going to be an awesome dad.

I mean he already like has a kid's brain

and now he has an excuse to play

with toys for the next 15 years

and not look like a total freak.

I mean whatever, not the point.

I'm gonna be a mommy.

Oh God it's so weird.

- It's great.

- You and I are going to lunch.

- I can't.

I'm going out.

- Wait, what do you mean?

Like out out?

Owe you little vixen.

With who?

Funeral guy.

Oh that is so twisted!

But wow, he is cute!

Do you wanna borrow my Princess Leia outfit?

- No.

- Yeah you do.

Because the boys go crazy for it.

I mean crazy, loco in the fur buns.

- You're loco, let's go.

Bye, goodbye.

- Okay.

Can I help you?

- No.

- You're here, hi.

- Hi.

- Just one second.

Tara, will you make sure that Robin gets these please.

I think she's still here.

- I know, I just wanna get to lunch.

- Drew, did you finish off the Collin's file?

- I just gave it to Tara.

- Well we're setting a trial date in three weeks.

They think they're getting a settlement.

Surprise!

Oh hi, are you here for me?

- This is Kate, April's sister.

- Oh, oh of course, Kate!

Oh, honey, you are so so strong.

You really are.

So, what brings you here?

- We're just about to grab lunch.

- Oh.

Well that's nice.

But don't take too long.

I've got a 2 o'clock I need you to be at.

- I didn't see that on my schedule.

- Well, the partners just added it.

It's always a whirlwind around here.

I mean we are just dancing as fast as we can.

Okay so, 45 okay?

- I'm sorry, I thought we'd have more time.

- I know a great place just around the corner from here.

It'll be fast.

Ms Hunter, they're waiting for you

in the conference room.

- I'll be right there.

- This is not lunch.

- Says who.

- People, doctors, kindergarten teachers.

Fine.

Mmm.

- Your kindergarten teacher was wrong.

- What's that?

Never mind, that's none of my business so.

- Carbamazepine.

- I'm not even gonna pretend I know what that is.

- It's for epilepsy.

It's supposed to prevent seizures.

- Supposed to?

- Not 100%.

High stress can trigger it or you know, just life.

So what kind of law do you do?

- Medical malpractice mostly.

- That's noble.

Fighting for the poor and injured.

- Not really, I actually represent the other side.

- Why do you do it?

- Honestly, I don't know.

- So quit, do something else.

- You don't do things you hate?

- I don't really do much of anything.

- I don't buy that.

- It's true.

I just kind of float.

Can't seem to find a place to land.

- Yeah, well landing's overrated.

I should probably get going.

- Rainbows.

- Hey.

So, how was lunch?

- Fine.

- Oh fine.

Come on, how weak of an answer is that.

I want more, give me details.

Oh look at your face.

You are falling for him.

Okay, details, what happened?

- Kate, hi.

- Hi, Robin.

- Hi.

- Kate.

- Yeah me Kate.

- You Kate.

- And who's this?

- This is Emily.

- Emily.

- She owns the shop next door.

- Right, hi, hi, I'm Emily.

I'm a crazy person.

- Oh, well at least you recognize it.

- Okay bye Emily.

- Well this place is charming Kate.

Did you decorate it yourself?

- Yes.

- Well you see so much you in it.

Oh I'm sorry to burst in on you like this.

I just wanted to send a little thank you

bouquet over to a client.

I'm thinking something tasteful and white

with maybe a splash of red.

- For your client.

- Yeah, I think the white symbolizes their innocence

but the red shows us that little bit

of a guilty heart.

I mean no ones completely innocent are they?

So, you and Drew had a nice lunch today?

- Mmm hmm.

- That's great.

You probably don't get to do that much

being stuck here all the time.

- Well I'm not really stuck here.

- Listen.

Drew is very fragile these days.

Losing April has been hard on all of us.

I mean obviously she was your sister too.

But you know, you've been away

from the family for so long.

We're also working through our divorce

and so he's dealing with all of that.

- It sounds like it was for the best.

- Did he say that?

- No.

Sorry...

- Do you think it's really appropriate

for the two of you to be spending time together?

I mean it's a little strange isn't it?

- 43.50 please.

- Oh Kate, that is just lovely.

Oh, the girl next door, she works at this shop too.

Actually she owns it.

I work for her.

- Well she's a little entrepreneur.

- Here you go.

- Thank you so much.

Perfect.

You know, you and I should have lunch some time.

Lovely place you have.

- Thank you so much.

Come again!

So Kate, what was that?

Who's Kate?

- There was a little mix up at the funeral.

- Oh.

Explain.

- They may have gotten the idea that I am her sister.

- Who's sister, the white queen?

- The wife.

- The dead wife?!

- Yeah.

- Okay, too far.

This is too much honey.

That's not cool Emily.

- No see she's been estranged from the family for 10 years.

- So what!

Oh my God, girl you have got to tell them.

- I can't do that.

- Hey, you have to!

- I thought you would understand.

- Understand, no, I don't understand.

- You have Luke and friends

and you're gonna have a baby.

- And?

- I don't have anyone.

This is the first time in my life

that anyone has ever cared about me.

- But they don't care about you.

They care about some woman you're pretending to be.

- I don't care okay!

I want to have this!

I wanna have it even if it's just for one minute!

- Hey, hey, you're okay.

You had a seizure hun.

All right.

Okay, easy, easy.

Hey, slow down.

Do you want some water?

Just relax.

- I gotta go.

- No, don't you wanna go to the hospital?!

- I knew you lived here in town.

I looked you up about a year ago.

I never told April.

But she missed you.

I was kinda hoping you'd figure that out.

You need a ride?

- No I'm gonna stay here for a bit.

I need the number for a Katherine Martin.

- Now, this would look fantastic with the bigger piece.

But it's five inches longer.

No, it absolutely, it cannot wait until tomorrow.

This morning I said 10.

It has to be here before 2 o'clock.

I have one of our biggest buyers coming in at four.

- Are you Kate Martin?

- Katherine, who are you?

- I'm Emily.

- Okay.

- I'm sort of a friend of your sisters.

I saw you at the funeral.

You didn't stay.

- No.

- Why?

- I don't know how you sort of knew my sister,

but my relationship with her is my business.

- I have something for you.

- Where did you get this?

- John's parents had it.

I asked for a copy.

- I remember this trip.

The whole family drove out to the lake.

April and I got into a fight over an ice cream bar.

It's a stupid thing to fight about.

Thank you.

How do you know them?

- It's complicated.

You've never met any of them?

- I ran into April once with her grandmother in law.

First time I'd seen my sister in years.

They asked me to lunch.

I didn't go.

Why am I talking to a complete stranger about this?

- Hey, wanna grab lunch?

- I think I'm just gonna eat here.

- So how's April's sister doing?

What was her name?

- Kate, you've met her twice.

Come on.

I guess she's all right considering

she lost her sister.

- Well was she in contact with her parents?

- No.

In fact, I don't even think they know

that she's back around.

- Well, shouldn't somebody tell them?

- Yeah.

Probably.

- Oh, what was April's maiden name?

- Martin, why?

- Just curious.

- Hi.

Are you looking for anything in particular?

- Yes, can you tell me when Kate will be in?

- Katherine.

No one calls her Kate.

She's right over there.

- Thank you.

Make sure they're all here by 10 o'clock.

- Hi.

Katherine Martin?

- Yes, can I help you?

- Did you by chance have a sister named April?

- What exactly do you want?

- I'm a friend of the family.

- I just came by to meet you.

- What is this?

Are you all on some kind of reconciliation trip?

- What do you mean you all?

- First there's the weird blonde girl and now you.

I don't appreciate being harassed like this.

- I'm so sorry.

I'll just go.

- Carla, all right listen.

I thought a lot about what you said

and I think I'm supposed to fix things

and I kinda have a plan to do it.

And if I can do that then I'm not

the screwed up girl who lied to them

I'm the one who made them complete.

And maybe they'll accept me as myself

and not some person I'm pretending to be.

- Yeah, that sounds good.

- Hey, what's wrong?

- I can't have kids.

- What?

- I went to the doctor

and they were doing all these tests.

- Okay, okay, okay, just what did they say.

- He came back in the room with

this huge folder of papers

and said I have lead in my tubes.

- Lead, how?

- I mean I spent most of high school

painting lead miniatures.

But I don't really know.

Point is, I have a less than 5% chance of getting pregnant.

Look at me.

Just crying like a little bitch.

It's so pathetic.

- It's not.

- I guess we kinda have the same problem huh?

We both want families we can't have.

- Emily, did someone call you?

- No, about what?

- It's your dad.

- What's wrong?

- He's taken a turn.

The doc can tell you more.

- I'm gonna go see him.

- Emily.

I need you to fill these out.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Have a seat for a minute.

I'll get you some water.

- Kate.

Hey.

- What are you doing here?

- Is this a bad time?

- No, no, it's fine, I'm fine.

- Well listen I was thinking about

you and your father and I had an idea.

- Emily.

Emily.

- He must be confused.

I'll just take him back to his room.

Come on.

Dad.

Dad.

- Is he okay?

- I should get back to the shop.

- I'll walk with ya.

So what I was trying to say,

look I know it's none of my business,

but I just thought it would be a good idea

if you called your father.

- What?

- It's probably right after dinner time

where they are.

You could surprise them.

- I don't think that's a good idea.

- Kate, he's the only family you have left.

Do you really wanna let that go?

- No, but it's not a good day.

- I got the number right here.

- Drew don't.

- I'm dialing it.

- Please seriously, just stop.

It's ringing.

Here, it's your father.

- Hello.

Dad it's Kate.

It's okay dad.

I'd like that.

Okay.

Bye.

- Are you mad?

Good.

So tomorrow's John's birthday.

I was planning a little party for him

at my parents place and it would

be great if you came.

- Okay.

- Great.

So tomorrow then.

I gotta go.

Bye.

- What are you doing out here?

- Just watching the party.

- You're gonna freeze out here.

- It's pretty in there.

It's like a painting.

- Yeah, it is.

I have a surprise for you.

- What.

What is it?

- If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise.

- Am I gonna like it?

- I hope so.

Can I get you a drink?

- Yes.

- Here, let me take your coat.

- Happy Birthday.

- Kate!

Hi.

- Hey.

- Nice to see you.

You know, Drew mentioned that you were an artist

but I never knew you were so involved.

Owning a gallery?

- Who owns a gallery?

- Well our little entrepreneur here, Kate.

- What?

You didn't tell me that.

- I don't own a gallery.

- Are you sure?

- I was at the Prism Gallery today

and I'm pretty sure it's owned by a Katherine Marten.

Different Katherine Marten?

- Can you excuse me for one minute.

Your surprise, it's here.

- Oh a surprise!

That's exciting.

- Are you okay dear?

- Everyone can I have your attention.

I am so happy to welcome these two into our families home.

This is Gordon and his wife Anna.

Gordon is Kate and April's father.

- Where's Katie?

She's here.

- John, I'm so sorry.

- You didn't come to the funeral.

- I was recovering from surgery.

We wanted to, believe me.

- Nobody wants to go to a funeral.

But when your daughter dies you have to.

- You're not the only one in pain.

- I'm the only one that's seems to be showing it!

- Hey John ease up man.

It's your birthday party.

- You think a party's what I needed right now?!

What, you think cake and ice cream's

gonna fix everything?!

- No, I just wanted...

- And then you bring these two!

Who couldn't even be bothered to show up

to their own daughter's funeral!

- That's not fair.

- What is not fair

is that my wife is dead!

But hey!

We're all having a party!

It's awesome!

Now who wants cake?!

Get off me!

- I'm fine.

- I'm really sorry.

I shouldn't have made you come here.

- You didn't make us come.

I just wanna see Kate.

- Right.

Gordon it's been 10 years.

- 15, too long.

- Here she is, come on.

- Kate.

- That's not Katie.

- Gordon it's been a long time.

- You don't think I know my own daughter?

- Is this a joke?

- It should have been you.

Is she gonna be okay?

She needs to avoid stressful

situations for a while.

So can I see her?

Go right ahead.

- Thank you.

Hey.

- Hey.

- Oh hey, how are you feeling?

- I'm glad you came.

- I'm your emergency contact.

Which obviously you maybe wanna reconsider.

I'm like one of the most irresponsible people I know.

Other than you.

- Is anyone else here?

- They waited all night.

They don't want to talk to you.

But they said I'm supposed to let them

know you're okay so, she's fine.

- They hate me don't they?

- Not to pile it on sweetheart,

but how did you really think this was gonna end?

I would kiss a wookiee for some pancakes right now.

Just like a big huge stack.

Come on, I'll treat you to breakfast.

- No thanks, I'm gonna walk home.

- What, okay, sure.

Listen, don't beat yourself up too much okay?

It's not like you killed a bunch of people.

You're just a little nuts.

And who isn't?

Okay?

- Hey.

I'm taking April's folks to lunch.

Why don't you come with us?

- They don't wanna see me.

- That's not true.

Look I'm sorry about the party.

That was stupid.

- Don't be.

A little rusty.

It looks like I lost my stroke.

- So have you talked to that Emily girl?

I mean that's her name right?

- Haven't heard from her.

And probably wouldn't talk to her if I did.

- Why not?

- 'Cause she's out of her mind.

- When I first met my wife,

we were working at that architectural firm,

Eastman and Kline.

- I remember, you hated it.

- Fresh out of grad school it's a great experience.

Got to meet April, she was my boss.

She didn't really have any friends at work.

So unless there was a lunch meeting,

she always ate by herself.

One day I decided to follow her.

Nervous as hell, trying to figure out

what I'd say if she saw me.

And I'm starting to wonder whether this girl

is some kind of junkie or something.

And I'm dying with curiosity so I knock.

It took a bit to convince this guy

that I wasn't a cop or some kind of psycho.

Eventually lets me in.

It was a theater, dark, totally empty.

And I'm standing in the back row

looking down on the stage.

She was dancing.

No rhythm, completely uncoordinated.

Acting like a total mental patient.

Most beautiful thing I ever saw.

When I fell in love with April,

I fell for the whole insane package.

- At least you knew who April was.

- You know who this girl is.

- Of course Superman's gonna win the race with Flash.

He's flying, he doesn't have to go around anything!

- No, we're talking strict footrace, no flying allowed.

- Well if there's no flying then it's Flash all day long.

- Oh yeah.

- See you just cast a fireball.

Holy crap, shiven and dragon.

Add that up, it doesn't make sense.

- Hey Emily, how's it going?

- Is Carla here?

- No, I don't know where she is.

- You guys mind if I hang out here and wait?

- No it's fine, we're just in the middle of a game.

- Okay, I added it up.

The dragon is out!

Prepared to get fried!

- Whatever, I'm still giving the race to Superman.

- Come on man, that is ridiculous.

Flash's whole thing is that

he's the fastest man alive.

- Yeah, but Superman is not a man, he's Kryptonian.

- You know what, it's not even the physics of it Jeff.

I'm just sick of Superman having everything okay?

All Flash is is fast!

I mean for crying out loud,

can't we just give it to him?!

How about a little democracy in the DC universe?!

- This is why I prefer Marvel.

- This is why you suck Jerry.

- Yes, yes!

You did it, you did it you fantastic son of a bitch!

Oh you did it!

You are like Luke Skywalker with photon

torpedo shooting into the death star!

- Baby slow down, slow down.

What did I do?

- I'm pregnant.

- You're pregnant?

- I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant!

- We did it!

We did it!

We did it!

- We did it, we did it!

Oh my God we did it!

- Squish the baby!

You!

We are going to a celebratory lunch right now.

- I'm not really hungry.

- Oh lunch is about the company not the food!

- Congrats man.

- Yeah totally.

So you guys have like sex.

- Yeah, we do Jerry, we're married.

- Cool, cool.

So what's it like?

- Thank you, I'm eating for two.

Because I'm pregnant.

Here we are.

For you my darling.

And for moi!

Yes.

So what now?

- Nothing.

- You're not gonna try to get him back?

- I never had him.

- I mean just because he thinks

that you are a different person

doesn't exactly mean he wasn't into you.

- It doesn't matter, I don't deserve to have him back.

- Wow, okay that is definitely not true.

I don't know.

Okay, I don't know exactly what

you're supposed to do about all of this,

but what I do know you shouldn't do about it is nothing.

Okay?

Yeah, pretending to be somebody else, that's crazy.

But, since you've been doing it,

you have been happier than I have ever seen you.

And oh I love you Emily, truly I do,

but if you go back to that person that you were before,

I am going to kick your ass!

What?

Don't laugh, I will kick your ass!

- I believe you.

- You better.

I'm stronger now.

What's wrong?

Mustard, every time with the mustard.

- Hey.

I said no mustard on this.

- There's mustard.

- There is always mustard!

- So what do you want me to do about it?

I can make you a new one.

- You could, mmm hmm.

- Do you want mayo?

- Please, thank you, mayo.

- Okay.

That was awesome.

What are you doing?

- I'm gonna make this right.

- You don't want your sandwich?

I am eating for two.

Can I get a little mustard?

- I need to talk to you.

- That woman the lawyer called me today.

Told me everything.

She asked if I wanted to file a formal complaint.

I said no.

- Why not?

- So you pretended to be me.

It's weird, but it's not like you stole anything from me.

- I met your father at John's birthday party.

- I bet that put a damper on the festivities.

Was my stepmother there too?

Did April's husband ever tell you about them?

- Not really.

- Anna, my step mom was my dad's graduate student years ago.

They were having an affair.

When my mom found out they had a terrible fight,

she left the house.

We got a call that she

had been killed in a car accident, drunk.

My mom not the other driver.

My dad and step mom got married a few months later

after an adequate mourning period.

I left shortly after.

Haven't seen them since.

- My mom killed herself when I was 15.

She cut her wrists in the tub.

- Jesus.

- Only time I ever saw my dad cry

was at her funeral.

- Sorry.

- For what?

- How much life sucks.

- It doesn't suck, it's beautiful.

- You think your life's beautiful?

- I'm working on it.

Can I ask a favor of you?

- That's bold.

- Come and meet your family.

- Oh, you mean my dad and step mom?

No.

- They aren't the only ones.

You have a big beautiful family

and they really wanna meet you.

- How would you know that?

- 'Cause I was you.

Look, here's the address if you change your mind.

Noon tomorrow.

I'll make sure they make it.

- Hey.

What was it like being me?

- It was beautiful.

I know you don't want to hear from me,

but I need you to bring April's parents

to the cemetery tomorrow at noon.

It's important.

- It's been a long time.

- It's gonna be all right.

- Okay everyone, we would like your help

picking a name.

Shout 'em out, go!

- Gandalf!

Hagrid.

- No.

- Donkey Kong.

- Jiggly Puff!

- What is wrong with you, no.

- Boromir.

- The Wolverine.

- Jerry no Marvel.

How many times man.

- Reeny?

- Oh how cute.

- It's in the mix.

- Wegeles!

- Buffy.

- Pass.

- Kal-El.

- Kal-El.

- Kal-El.

My little Kal-El.

Kal-El.

- I love that.

My son.

I like that.

- Where's Emily.

- Well she's at a funeral.

- Where?

- Shady Hills, but it's not what you think it is.

- Hey!

Be good to her!

- I will.

- In the name of the Father,

and the son, and the Holy Spirit.

Amen.