Original subtitles

- Good morning, Mapleview!

You know what time it is. [air horn blasting]

It's time to vote for Mapleview's

P-p-p-p-p-people of the Y-y-y-y-y-year!

When I say vote, you say now.

Vote!

Vote!

Vote.

Vote for the three most influential

Mapleviewers this year.

Each will be immortalized with a feature in the yearbook!

- [scoffs] What an inane tradition.

- Totally.

Wait, is inane good or bad? - Good luck, Lydia.

- And a friendly reminder that

"people" also includes the staff.

And you can vote for a principal

who's very influential both academically and musically.

[air horn blasting]

- It's just so wrong that we are defining in print

that some people are more important than others.

History was written by the popular.

- Don't you literally work for the yearbook?

- As an assistant to the graphics editor.

I don't think River's gonna give me any editorial say

even if I'm right about this stupid feature.

- Facts.

You voted for me, right?

- Of course. - OK.

Well, I'll see you after rehearsal,

not that there's anything to rehearse.

- I thought you were Sage's understudy.

So aren't you practically Dorothy?

- Mm, in the fact that I memorized all the lines,

but I never get to perform them.

Instead, I'm Flying Monkey number two.

- Is that really so bad?

- It is when you factor in who's playing

Flying Monkey number one.

- [imitates monkey sounds]

[exhales softly]

That's monkey for "I'm the Monkey King,"

which makes you, Goldbladder--

- The Prime Minister. - My loyal subject.

- You're just a figurehead.

- A figurehead with all-you-can-eat bananas.

- There's got to be more to this role

than just eating bananas.

What's the backstory?

Who's the monkey under the crown?

Who's his family? What does he want?

- He's got disposable thumbs. What more can he want?

- I think you mean "opposable."

- That doesn't sound right.

- Lydia, can I talk to you for just a second?

- If this is about trying to get you fired,

I thought we said the gift basket was

a sufficient apology. - No, that's not it.

Look, you know how every production has

its 11th hour disaster? I think we just had ours.

- Did the Flying Monkeys get cut?

- No. Sage just booked a role in a movie.

They're doing an all-female reboot of "Napoleon Dynamite."

She plays a quirky, frizzy-haired teenager

just trying to fit in. - Oh, come on!

- Look, what I'm trying to say is that

every disaster is an opportunity in disguise.

Sage had to drop out of the play,

which means that you are now Dorothy.

- [gasps]

[high-pitched scream]

- OK.

- Are you kidding me?

The Wonderful Wizard of Lydia.

[bright music]

- Just to be clear, you're not playing Oz.

- [shushes]

[upbeat music]

- Oh, yeah

All right

Oh, yeah

- Does having a spotlight in the yearbook make you popular?

Julie, is this the turning point of my life,

the opening chapter to my memoir?

"Golden Girl: A Lydia Goldblatt Story."

- Ooh. Will you refer to me as your bookish best friend?

- Julie, this could be the year I get show flowers! [squeals]

- Ow. That was a bit aggressive.

- Playing Dorothy means I'm gonna be front and center

in the yearbook drama photos,

which brings us to our next experiment.

How will we be remembered? - As the art club girl

who offered to clean everyone's paint brushes?

- Dream bigger, Julie.

The yearbook is proof of our middle school status.

This may be how you, Julie Graham-Chang,

and I, Lydia Goldblatt, are finally deemed popular.

Step one. [bright chime]

Crush the role of Dorothy

and leave no dry eye in the theater.

Step two, be celebrated in the yearbook

as the second coming of Meryl Streep

with you as my best friend.

And step three, go down in Mapleview Middle School history

as the two coolest tweens that ever lived.

[chimes tinkling]

- This might actually work.

- What do you want your legacy to be?

- I want to be remembered as the girl who stood up to

the defenders of the corrupt and broken system.

- Criminal justice system?

- No, but I'll put that on my to-do list.

I want to be remembered as the girl

who changed the institution of popularity for the better,

for everyone! - Preach.

- Just have to figure out a way to break down the gatekeepers.

- No way. - Come on, River.

It's unfair, unjust.

And it's exactly what I've been railing about all year.

It's always the popular kids that win these sham contests.

- Stick to your lane, Julie.

If you have an issue, take it up with your manager.

- That's you.

Can we at least discuss my idea?

Think about what a blackout page

rejecting popularity could do.

- A blackout page doesn't sell yearbooks.

It also uses too much ink.

- What about a strikeout page?

Ooh. Can we release it and then redact the names?

- [sighs]

People of the Year has drama, pizzazz.

Like it or not, it's what passes for

yearbook journalism these days.

- More like gutter yearbook journalism.

You're preaching to, like, the lowest common denominator.

- Look, I get it.

You come in here with your ideas,

but I've done this before. I know how it works.

- This is why systemic change happens so slowly.

- Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Lydia Goldblatt!

[cheering and applause]

- Isn't she beautiful?

[whimsical music]

- Uh, Lydia? Hey.

Could you just stop that so we can start rehearsing?

- Yeah, sorry. Just getting into character.

- OK, everyone. Gather 'round. I have some exciting news.

I pulled some strings,

and we are going to mount the show

in the Mapleview Community Theater.

- It's like being on Broadway! - Well, off-off-off-Broadway.

But in any case, we have a lot of work to do,

starting with running the show with our new lead,

Lydia Goldblatt.

- Not doing that? OK.

- OK, well, run it from the top in five?

- Congrats, Goldblatt.

That's a huge deal. - Thanks, Tin Man.

- So I know things have been awkward between us.

- Awkward?

- You know, because of the time

you spread those rumors about me,

trapped me in the boiler room,

saw my relationship with Sage blow up.

- OK, maybe there's a whiff of tension.

- Well, maybe we can make things not weird?

Would you want to hang out sometime after the play?

- You want to hang out?

Like hang out or... [in cool voice] hang out?

- I can now see why that's confusing.

I like you, Lydia.

[stirring music]

Lydia? Lydia?

- I'm fine. I'm good.

Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

Yeah, we can totally hang out after the play.

You got it. - See you then, Goldblatt.

[energetic music]

- Could this day get any better?

- I brought cookies! [chuckles]

- Hey, why are you adding

Chuck, Addison, and Dawn to the layout?

We haven't seen the results yet.

- Well, why keep up the charade?

'Cause we all know it's going to be them.

They're the most popular kids in school.

- I mean, you never know. And for security reasons,

no one will know until they're verified

by our official top secret tabulation process.

- You mean when you go into the dark room

and count them all by hand?

- Yes.

- Well, let me know when I'm right about everything.

- Here you go.

Feel free to burn it.

- Wait, but I just thought of our backstory.

We witnessed the murder of our parents,

which ultimately led us to craft our monkey persona

and to seek justice against criminals.

- That's Batman. - Batperson!

Get with the times, Lydia.

- How did you even book this role anyway?

- Oh, I didn't audition.

This was punishment for replacing

all the office phones with bananas.

To Principal Larocque's credit, the punishment fits the crime.

- Yeah, he is really stepping up his game.

- Anyways, I'll remember our Flying Monkey days fondly.

- Of course, you will.

I'm a talented and generous scene partner.

- But for real, when you take center stage,

all of us back here will be cheering you on.

[gentle music]

- Wow. Thanks, Mike.

Break a wing.

- Was I right? - That would be a violation

of our official tabulation process.

- Come on, River.

Why does everyone care about this so much?

- You tell me. You're the one who keeps asking about it.

- Did you hear about Dimitri's presidential pardoning

of the detention kids? Could be a big news story.

- Meh. It's not front page. I'll get to it later.

- What about Henry making a catchphrase

for the whole school? - "Scrum"?

Yeah, that's never going to happen.

- Addison and Dawn got into a cat fight.

- [groans] Pass me the Dictaphone.

I better go check it out.

[ominous music]

- Let's see what we got here.

All right.

Addison Anglade, Chuck Cavalleri,

and Julie Graham-who now?

Me? - I forgot my mini cassettes.

What do you think you're doing?

[mischievous music]

Julie Graham-Chang, this is beyond the pale.

You broke into my ballot box.

And worse, you lied about a headline lead.

- Shame on you for falling for a cheap story like that.

- Ugh, whatever.

So I guess you saw the results.

- How was I nominated as Person of the Year?

Is this some kind of sick joke?

- I would never joke about Person of the Year.

It's not like it's the Teacher Appreciation page, you know?

This is sacrosanct.

- So no one is laughing at me behind my back?

- Why is this so surprising to you?

- Because I'm a nerd.

- No, you're not, Julie.

You're a sneak and a completely untrustworthy assistant

to the graphics editor.

- Oh, even when I'm being rebellious, I sound nerdy.

- But over the course of the year, you've had

an incredibly meaningful impact on the school,

at least according to my sources.

- When? - Come on, Graham-Chang.

Think about it.

Remember the time you walked the catwalk

or, you know, the star of the art show,

won the field hockey championship,

were the lead singer of Disastrophe,

joined the Glossips?

- Yeah, but those were all things Lydia made me do.

- What about when you were Dimitri's campaign manager

and won him the election or

brought in the guest of honor for the Pride Parade and

led a school-wide game of Grin and Dare It?

Did Lydia make you do all those too?

- No, Dimitri, you, and Mike did.

- Face it. You're a real, "legit,"

certified popular person,

no matter which source you check.

So how does it feel, Graham-Chang?

[uplifting music]

- Weird.

- She's our prisoner, and soon you will be too!

- Don't worry, Dorothy. We'll save you.

- Help, Tin Man!

- [grunts]

both: Whoa!

- Tin Man, you're my hero.

How ever can I repay you?

- As you know, all I need is a heart!

- You know I'd give you mine if I could.

- OK, no, no, no. Stop, stop, stop.

This isn't working. There's no chemistry.

- Are you kidding me?

- See, this interpretation only works

if I really feel that the Tin Man misses his heart

and that Dorothy's the only one that can give it to him.

- So should we kiss?

Just spitballing here.

- We're gonna have to do some rewrites, aren't we?

All right, everyone, let's pack it up.

We're gonna move to the theater.

Take--take five.

- Wait, but what if we just rehearse it

a couple hundred more times?

Was my performance really that bad?

- No, no.

I just need everything to be absolutely perfect.

I'm taking a lot of risks here.

I basically begged Larocque for the funds.

- You mean a public school doesn't have unlimited funding

for its arts programs? - He reallocated it

for next year's field hockey and Kiln Club budgets.

- Those good-for-nothing pottery snobs.

- I staked the entire reputation of

the Mapleview drama program on this play.

If it backfires, it could ruin the whole department.

- There, there. You were just doing

what you thought was right.

- There may not even be a play next year.

- You did what?

OK.

It's OK.

It'll--it'll be OK,

especially now that you have the right lead.

Oh, come on. This was a part I was born to play.

I promise, I'll do everything I can

to make sure this is the best play Mapleview has ever seen.

- Your mother did mention that you're very determined.

Or did she say hardheaded?

- OK, well, I promise, I got this.

And more importantly, I got you.

- Thanks. I appreciate that.

And I also appreciate your discretion.

[bright music]

- OK, people, the entire drama program

relies on this play tomorrow night,

so get it together!

From the top!

[electronic music]

- Wow, I must have put that T-shirt printer's kids

through college.

- Julie, are you OK?

You seem disturbed.

- Oh, I'm just becoming everything I hate.

- You are becoming dill pickles?

- I'm becoming...popular.

- Huh. How curious.

I thought being popular meant that

you were well-liked by others.

- It does, but not always in a good way.

- It is not good to be well-liked?

- It's...complicated.

You see, the popular people at middle school

aren't popular because they're well-liked.

They're popular because everyone wants to be them

instead of wanting to be themselves.

And popularity makes everyone feel bad.

- I see. That is bad.

- Can you keep a secret?

- I have never told anyone about

my cousin Vasily's bedwetting.

Clearly, I can be trusted.

- I'm one of Mapleview's People of the Year.

I'm part of the problem.

- But Julie, I don't want to be you.

You don't make everyone feel bad.

In fact, you make everyone feel good.

That is why I voted for you.

- You did?

- You care about all your friends.

- I do, but that's not why I'm popular.

- But it is why you are well-liked.

So maybe you are popular in the right way.

- Hm.

Thanks, Dimitri.

I never thought about it that way.

[gentle music]

[sighs]

Hey.

Huh.

Maybe popularity is OK if you're popular

for the right reasons.

- This is so beautiful.

It's more than I ever imagined.

- All right, everybody. Let's just--let's settle down.

OK, I just-- I went all out here.

Let's hope I don't regret it.

OK, we're gonna start at Dorothy's solo.

Munchkins, we're gonna have to make that transition

about 30% faster on show night, OK?

All right, so this is a pivotal moment of the play, OK?

This is where you ensure all of our future funding

and also for you to shine. Are you up for it?

- I've been preparing for this my entire life.

- Great.

Lighting, can we get the cue correct this time?

We need you to flood the spotlight in three, two, one.

[bright music]

- I'm back!

- No. - Sage?

[applause, laughter]

- Hey! - Dorothy's back.

- Oh, my gosh. Thank goodness.

- You're welcome. - [giggles]

- What is happening?

- The show was careening off the rails without you.

Welcome back, Dorothy!

[applause, laughter]

[chattering]

- The entire production was so accommodating.

They rearranged the entire schedule

just so I could come back early to my prior commitment.

That's what they say in the film biz.

Oh, and film biz means film business.

- I know what film biz means.

- Besides, this was the much more meaningful part.

I mean, who cares about the story of a dorky underdog

with frizzy hair just trying to fit in?

Doing a musical of "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz"?

That's fresh. - [chuckles]

We're so glad to have you back.

Oh, if I may.

What--what are you-- what are you doing?

[toy dog squeaks] There we go. OK.

- Come on, Toto. Let's rehearse.

- OK. Let's get going.

- Well, guess it's back to Flying Monkey land.

Where would we be without our prime minister?

- Depending on an interim leader.

How can I go back to slumming it as a Flying Monkey?

- I can show you how to hide bananas in Munchkin shoes.

So they get banana feet.

- Do you ever stop?

- I have a problem.

We can hide bananas in Sage's slippers.

[mischievous music]

- Suddenly, you just became my favorite monkey.

[gentle piano music]

- Are you excited to be the new face of popularity

at Mapleview, Julie Graham-Chang?

- I guess so. - Great.

Because the print deadline's tomorrow,

and I'm going to need that layout in my inbox.

[exciting electronic music]

- [sighs]

Thanks for cheering me up.

You didn't have to do that.

- We monkeys gotta stick together.

- What is in my slippers? [laughter]

- So worth it.

- You practically make it an art form.

- Oh, thank you.

Lydia, I--

I really like rehearsing with you.

And I was wondering if you wanted to

maybe go out sometime?

- [chuckles] You almost got me.

- No, I'm being serious.

Would that be weird?

- Yes. Why would you want to do that?

- 'Cause I like you.

- Since when?

- Sup, Goldbladder? [laughs]

Goldbladder. Excuse me, Goldbladder.

[laughs] Oh, Goldbladder.

Nice one, Goldbladder.

- You know, I never expected it,

but we make a great team, Mike.

- Thanks, Goldblatt. - Ew, don't be weird.

Call me Goldbladder. - Right, sorry.

Thanks, Goldbladder.

Describe the cake at your last birthday party.

- [shouts] Mike!

Ooh, red velvet and cream cheese.

He remembered.

Holy bananas.

[bright music]

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