Original subtitles

- I can't believe we get to plan Pride Week.

I'm so excited.

- Finally, an event that suits your color palette,

all of them at once. - What's up, squirrel friends?

Category is Pride Week eleganza.

Are you ready to get sickening?

Let's slay the house down, boots.

Tough crowd. Moving on.

Morgan is running behind.

While we wait for them to take the reins

of the Pride committee, I've got some big roles to fill.

First, we need a chief rainbow decorator.

- [gasps]

- Anyone? No?

You know what?

Morgan's great at decorating.

Why don't we give that one to them? OK.

Next, we have Pride parade planner.

Hmm.

I'm sure Morgan can take that one, too.

OK, how-- - Hey, hey.

I can totally help with some of those.

- About that, all of your teachers

have independently warned me not to let you be in charge

of anything requiring physical labor

because of previous incidents.

- Come on, I can help out.

Those were just several dozen freak accidents.

- Fine.

You can help as long as Morgan supervises your every move.

- Seems perfectly reasonable.

- Sorry I'm late. - Morgan, just in time.

- I was balancing the Pride budget

and snapping some yearbook photos.

Then I completely forgot about the cover

for the Pride edition of the Manatee Mirror.

And then something horrible happened.

- You realized you were spread too thin

and had a panic attack?

Been there.

- Our budget doesn't cover tomorrow's

kickoff performance.

So we can either afford Tegan or Sara, not both.

- This is the worst day of my life.

Wow. My life's been pretty easy.

- It's OK.

I have a backup plan, at least I think I do.

[pop music]

- You're an Aurora Head, too?

I love Aurora Borealis.

- Now, if I could just figure out

how to get her in our budget.

- Well, lucky for you, Julie has a connection to Aurora.

- How are you, Julie Graham-Chang,

going to book Mapleview's most beloved drag queen?

- Well, funny thing is

Aurora is actually, um, my dad.

[all gasp]

- Gasp.

[upbeat music]

- Oh, yeah

All right

Oh, yeah

- Does having a cool dad make you cool?

It's amazing that in 12 years of having dads,

we never thought that they could help with an experiment.

- But if I'm being honest, only one of them counts as cool.

Sorry, Richard. Sorry, Mr. Chang.

- Baba knows where he stands.

- Weirdly, I don't think my dad does.

But with Mr. Graham, or more specifically, Aurora Borealis,

we have a clear-cut path to popularity.

both: Shantay, we slay.

[soft piano music playing]

- Dad, I was wondering

if Aurora Borealis would be the guest of honor

at school for the Pride parade?

What?

A-are you OK?

Did I say something wrong?

- Nope, quite the opposite.

- [whispers] Alex, cue the music.

[pop music plays]

- Turn the lights off

Turn the lights off

- Oh.

Whoa.

- [exhales]

[angelic chord]

- Ho!

I hope you're ready, Cher.

It's time to shine

Liza, Judy.

Sure, I'll do it.

- [squeals]

[bell rings] - [sighs]

That can't be right.

Ugh! Why won't you stick?

Hmm.

Well, well, well.

We meet again.

So are we going to do this the easy way,

or are we going to do this the hard way?

- Lydia! - Ow.

- I'm going to need you to drop the glue gun.

- Yeah, that's probably for the best.

- Sorry I'm late again, cookie emergency.

Home ec mistook salt for sugar,

so maybe instead of cookies, we can do rainbow salt lick.

- That's OK. Don't even worry about it.

I'm all over the decoration department.

- Yeah, I'll just fix this.

- I would have figured out the letters eventually.

I mean, there's only 1,023 different combinations.

- Principal Larocque also gave me a list called

the Keep Away From Lydia list.

Also said I had to keep an eye on your every step,

which is just yet another thing to add to my plate.

- Sorry, Morgan.

- Morgan. Can I ask you something?

What do you think about the name Morgan?

Because like, to me, it's always sounded like

it was stuck between moron and gorgon.

- Isn't it short for Morganzola?

- No.

Anyway, I guess Morgan never really felt quite right to me.

I think I'm going to change it.

- To what?

- Well, I always really liked Sydney, so maybe Syd.

- Syd.

I like it. [watch beeps]

- I got to run.

I still need to pick up books for the Drag King Story Time.

- What are you looking at, tough guy?

[grunts]

- It is my pleasure to welcome drag royalty,

current reigning Miss Drag Mapleview,

and my future bestie, Aurora Borealis!

[Willa J's "Can't Stop Loving You"]

- Hey, hey, nah nah

Hey, hey, nah nah nah nah nah nah

Hey, hey, nah nah nah nah nah nah

I know what I want

Don't care what they say

I'm doing it my way

Won't apologize for how I feel inside

How I feel inside, it's good to be me

The love I have has set me free

I love how I feel when I look in the mirror

I know I can't stop loving you

I'm doing it strong

Got it going on

- I love you, Aurora!

- Hey, hey, nah nah

Hey, hey, nah nah nah nah nah nah

Hey, hey, nah nah

Hey, hey

I know I can't stop loving you

[cheers and applause]

- Wait.

Did I miss Aurora perform? - Love you, Aurora!

- Everyone say, love!

all: Love!

- Thank you, Mapleview,

for making me your Pride guest of honor and grand marshal.

I want to give a special thank you

to my amazing daughter, Julie!

[cheers and applause]

[excited chatter]

- Sign my headgear.

- Julie, your dad's so awesome.

Why aren't you more like him?

[soft music]

- Dad has charisma, nerve,

and fabulosity.

Then there's just me,

who's just nervous.

Makes me look even more boring.

[chatter]

- Well, I've got to run, but I'll be back tomorrow.

And if you have any questions, talk to my publicist.

Ta-ta.

- Where's your dad going? Can I come for dinner?

- Can I come, too?

- Um-- - What does Aurora eat?

- Will she teach me to do a cat eye?

- Well, that plan backfired.

- What are you talking about?

Aurora is the most popular person at school.

- Yeah, but we still aren't.

We're just beside someone that's cool.

- I have no clue what you're talking about.

- Take a look at this tomato.

- You have a whole tomato in your lunch?

- Yeah.

This is Aurora, arguably the coolest fruit out there.

- It's not a-- - It's a fruit.

I don't have time for the sweet versus savory debate.

Standing next to this tomato makes us look like

two stale leftover fries

that look really soggy and drab in comparison.

- OK, but hear me out.

Everybody knows tomatoes are best as ketchup,

and ketchup is best with soggy, leftover fries.

- I'm not understanding your meta--

phor.

- Metaphor?

[loud thwacking]

Syd, you came.

- Uh, are we baking the sign?

- Hammers are on my keep away list.

- Doesn't explain the oven mitts.

- With these as a barrier,

I'm technically not touching anything.

- OK, I'm taking over.

Screwdriver.

- Syd and Lyd back at it again.

- Syd. Yeah.

Maybe not.

- Well, what do you want to be called instead?

- I don't know.

I'll let you know when I decide.

On second thought, I don't have time for this.

I got to call back some sponsors,

and prep for my Aurora interview,

and still have to set up the glitter pit. So--

- Don't you think you're taking on a little much?

- No, I can manage it. It's all under control.

Everything's golden.

And this looks, um, good enough.

- Good enough.

- The makeup palettes for tomorrow

are going to be fabulous.

I made 36 individual sets, one for each kid.

- Uh, Dad.

I was wondering, could you be less, you know--

less grand?

- I could do a ballad.

I've got a great Adele number. Yeah.

- I kind of meant in the overall way.

- What? So just like a smokey eye and a nude lip?

- Can you just be not over-the-top?

- [chuckles] Over-the-top?

[scoffs] Me?

Never!

Hey.

Honey,

does someone have an issue with me performing at your school?

- Actually, they loved you--

a lot-- which is exactly the problem.

- How is that a problem?

- It's a lot of attention.

And no one can understand how someone as boring as me

could be related to someone like you.

I'm just a plate of soggy fries.

- I'm sorry, Juju Bean.

But that's just not true.

You're the crispiest fry in the air fryer.

- Couldn't you be more like me?

Maybe if you come in dorkier, people won't look at me like,

how do you two live in the same house?

- Hm.

Dorkier, dorkier, dorkier.

I'm not sure I can do that, honey.

- Just think of the dorkiest person you know.

- Who wants to iron some jeans with me?

- [clears throat] I got this.

- OK, remember, stick to the cards.

- Honey, of course.

- Oh, too big, too exciting.

- Of course? Of--of course.

[sighs]

- You got this.

- Ow.

[upbeat music]

Hi, everybody.

I'm Mr. Graham.

Welcome to the most exciting part of Pride herstory--

history.

- Are you a substitute teacher?

- Yeah, where's Julie's dad?

- He is my dad.

- No, like your other dad.

Is he going to introduce Aurora?

- Mr. Graham is Aurora.

- What?

- I don't get it.

I just want to see Aurora.

Mr. Graham, can you-- can you call her?

- I am Aurora.

It's just this is what I look like out of drag

and when I'm forced to wear my husband's clothes.

- Oh, so you're going to show us

how to do makeup in real time?

That's awesome because I brought my makeup kit.

- [gasps] Oh.

No. No.

Actually, we are going to discuss

the history of underground ballroom culture.

- Oh, so the birthplace of Vogue?

So cool.

- Uh-huh, it is not cool.

We are going to talk about the history

of the first Pride parade.

- Oh, I heard that Pride parade started off as a riot.

- Really? Could you tell us about that?

- Yeah, you know what? I got an idea.

Let's talk about taxes

and how I filed jointly with my husband.

[all groan]

- [snores] [bell rings]

- What was that? What a snooze fest.

- I know.

At least I got a pretty good nap in.

- You nailed it, not a single sparkle in anyone's eyes.

- Thanks, honey.

- Are you ready for your interview?

- I guess.

- Thank you so much for joining us.

- Just give me a moment to get into character.

- Put the scissors down, Lydia.

- Hoo.

Hoo! [sighs]

Ready.

- Aurora, as captain of the 12-and-under water polo team,

what are your plans for success this up-and-coming season?

I'm--I'm so sorry, wrong interview questions.

Just give me a sec. - Hey, it's OK.

Take your time.

So, John--I mean, James--

Aurora.

What is your favorite hamburger condiment?

- Well, I guess I'd have to say it's mustard.

- I'm so sorry.

I'm usually more prepared.

- No, it's OK. It's OK.

Hey, finally someone's asking me

some hard-hitting questions.

[watch beeps]

- Oh, no.

Dogs got in the glitter pit.

I have to go.

Aurora, I'm so sorry. - It's OK.

We'll put a pin in the interview.

- OK. [watch beeping]

Why isn't this bunting in the halls?

Ugh!

- Hey, wait.

I can do the bunting.

Wait up. [watch beeping]

- Oh, my--

[sighs]

No!

Pride is a disaster.

This is my first year as head of the Pride committee.

It was supposed to be perfect.

- I think you're putting way too much pressure on yourself.

- I ruined it.

I let the community down.

It was supposed to be the best

Pride Mapleview Middle ever had.

- It already is.

Everybody's loving it.

You're just doing too much.

Take it from someone who's scatter-brained

and spreads herself too thin--

do less.

You need to slow down and enjoy it.

- How can I enjoy it when there's just so much to do?

- I can take on more duties.

OK, others can take on more.

But you have a whole committee supporting you.

You don't have to do it alone.

[soft music]

Let's get down to business.

- I'll toss the list, but you need to keep those mitts.

- [laughs]

- I'm serious.

- Oh. [bell rings]

- Oh, Julie. I'm so glad I found you.

I'm so excited to see Aurora perform again this week.

- Actually, my dad--

- I was looking at some of her photos

online as dress inspiration, and check it out.

- Oh, that's great.

- And she said I could walk beside her in the parade.

- But-- - I'm absolutely--

- Henry, Aurora won't be performing

at the Pride parade.

- Oh, of course. I should have known.

She's probably fully booked.

You're so lucky you get to see her every day.

She's such an inspiration.

Oh, there she is.

Aurora, can you show me a few moves?

[soft music]

- [sighs] Lukewarm bowl of oatmeal.

Perfect afternoon.

Ooh, you look good.

Everything OK, Juju Bean?

I could get you some if you want.

- No, it's fine.

It's just Aurora is this amazing,

extravagant drag queen.

- Mm-hmm. - And I'm just her boring kid.

- Hey, you're not boring.

You're understated.

- If you say so.

- I get it, sweetie.

When Dad and I were younger, everyone wondered how someone

as boring as me ended up with someone so fabulous.

Dad, he lights up every room he enters.

- Mostly on account of all the sequins. But--

- You see, your dad and I were just two different people.

- I tried to get Dad to be someone else.

- You know, it took a lot for your dad

to come out of his shell.

A lot of people tried to make him ashamed of who he was.

It took years of loving himself to get the courage

to be both dad and Aurora.

- And I tried to get him to dim his light.

I have to make this right.

- Hey, you're just in time.

Decorations are up.

Drag King Story Time has its books.

Glitter pit is de-dogged, and dogs are de-glittered.

Cookies are sweet, not salty.

And last but not least,

the banners are ready!

- Thanks so much, Lydia.

I couldn't have done this without you

and your relentless energy.

- That's what type A friends are for.

- And, hey, I think I landed on a name.

- Oh, yeah? What is it?

River.

One word, concise but evocative.

Rivers carve their own paths.

It suits you.

- Thanks.

It feels right.

So should we put up your banners?

- Ready.

- Ah--

[soft music]

- [sighs]

- So...I messed up.

- [laughs softly] Honey, it's OK.

You didn't-- - No, I did.

I think you're amazing and awesome just the way you are.

I want my glamorous dad back.

- Oh, sweetheart.

[both laugh]

- So if you're not too mad at me,

I would love to have Aurora Borealis back at school

to lead the Pride parade.

- Uh, are you sure?

- There's nothing I'd want more.

- Well, I'd be honored.

Hold my tea.

All right.

Showtime, baby. - [laughs]

- I know I can't stop loving you

[cheers and applause]

- Guys, gals, and my non-binary pals,

and water mammals,

it is my pleasure to announce our grand marshal,

my awesome dad, Aurora Borealis!

[cheers and applause]

- I love you.

- I love you, too.

Now, before we begin the parade,

I'd like to introduce a queen making her drag debut.

Please help me welcome my amazing drag daughter,

Ginger Snaps!

- We love you, Ginger!

- Let the Pride parade begin.

- Hey, hey, nah nah

Hey, hey, nah nah

Hey, hey, nah nah nah nah nah nah

I know what I want

Don't care what they say

Doing it my way

Won't apologize about I feel inside

How I feel inside

It's good to be me

The love I have has set me free

I love how I feel when I look in the mirror

I know I can't stop loving you

Hey, hey, nah nah

Hey, hey

I know I can't stop loving you

- Well, we didn't get any cooler,

but I think we somehow made your dad even more popular.

- I know.

He's booked solid for the next year.

Even Henry-- oh, I mean Ginger--

booked a drag brunch next weekend.

- She's a winner, baby.

- Well, I guess the result of this experiment

is pretty clear.

- That ketchup is the superior condiment?

- That the key to popularity is finding

what makes your inner light shine.

- What makes our light shine?

- I don't know yet.

But we have plenty of time to figure that out.

- So what do we rate this experiment?

- I give it a whopping 10 rhinestones out of 10.

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