Original subtitles

[upbeat pop music]

? ?

- What are you two watching?

- The show.

- Wow, skateboarding looks fun.

You do tricks. You get approval from Addison.

I could get behind that.

- Showing off your athletic prowess

gives you social status. Who knew?

- Should we try skateboarding?

- Uh, Lyds, do you remember the rollerblade fiasco of 2019?

Yeah, I'm not waiting all night in the ER with you again.

[dreamy music]

? ?

- You're right, Julie.

We should totally try skateboarding.

I mean, how hard could it be?

[crash] [Chuck grunts]

- Oh!

- Agh. I'm OK.

- Ouch.

[upbeat music]

- ? Oh, yeah ?

? ?

? All right ?

? ?

? Oh, yeah ?

? ?

- If there's one thing I learned from

accidentally watching the X Games that one time

is the answer to this question:

does skateboarding make you popular?

If I can direct your attention to the following exhibits:

Tony Hawk, video game trillionaire.

And Momiji Nishiya, Olympic gold medalist.

- I think you're forgetting about

the most influential skateboarder here.

- What? [chuckles nervously]

How would Chuck factor into this experiment?

- Right.

Well, as much as I would love to sacrifice a limb

for you to get closer to... "skateboarding,"

there aren't enough beta blockers in the world

to get my dads to let me do this.

- OK, so it'll just be me then.

Step one:

ask Chuck to teach me how to skateboard.

[chuckles softly]

Step two:

get a little extra help, just in case.

Step three: show off my incredible skills.

And step four, qualify for the Olympics,

becoming a vertically integrated street wear

slash skating slash video game trillionaire.

- Easiest trillion dollars ever!

- Right? Like, how hard can it be?

You're standing on a piece of wood.

We do it all the time. It's called floors.

[upbeat music]

? ?

Chuck, I've been meaning to

ask you something. - Oh, yeah?

- I'm thinking of taking up skateboarding.

- Really? You want to skateboard?

- I've done it before.

It was a while ago, and I was seated, and my mom pushed me.

Actually, scratch that. It might have been a stroller.

But same difference, right?

- I'm heading to the skate park after school.

Wanna meet there?

- Totally.

But which one? I just frequent so many of them.

- How about I pick you up from your house, you grab your deck,

and we can head over there together?

- Just the two of us? - Yeah.

You know, like a-- - What's up, you two?

- We're heading to the skate park after school.

- That sounds so fun. Can we come too?

- Wait, what?

- Um...

sure, why not?

- It's a date. [school bell rings]

Come on. - See you later.

- Great! So great!

The more the merrier, right?

We can all build a deck.

I'm not using that right.

Chuck offered to take me to the skate park,

and I think it was supposed to be a date.

- I'm sorry, what?

- But then he did the same thing with Addison and Sage.

- So he has three dates.

A bit of a red flag there, Lydia.

- No, I just-- I need you to come, too.

- Uh, nuh-uh.

I'm not getting involved in some quadruple date sitch.

- I need you to keep Addison and Sage occupied.

Please.

- OK, I'll do my best.

But I have to swing by the art room

and grab my figurine first.

- Why can't you just grab it right now?

- Because the pottery kids are in there.

The Kiln Club is not as accepting as you would expect.

- Accepting of what?

- It's a figurine for...

The Karstlands, Auguries of Fate.

- You mean that dorky game you play with Baba?

- [laughs]

Graham-Chang plays Auguries of Fate with her dad?

What a total dork!

- Hey.

Do you always have to be like this?

- It's an impulsive reflex.

Dr. Saunders and I are working on it.

[upbeat music]

? ?

- Where's your skateboard?

- What makes you think I have a skateboard?

- Disaffected youth, anti-authority tendencies?

Seems like your vibe. - Ew, no.

Skate parks are just sweaty cauldrons of toxic masculinity.

- That sounds amazing.

- No. How do I put a stop to this

so you don't end up in-- - No, Mom!

Skateboarding is my life now. It's great exercise,

and girls need to start encroaching on male spaces.

- OK, fine. Melody, please watch over her

so she doesn't maim herself. - Why me?

- Because I'm a single mom.

I don't have time to go to the hospital.

And didn't you want those Kate Shush tickets?

Yeah, thank you.

Please pack some safety gear.

- Thanks for letting me borrow your deck.

Mine's in the laundry... or the shop.

Would it be in a shop?

- Does your sister need to use it, too?

- Skate parks are problematic vestiges

of the worst aspects of bro culture.

- Um, cool?

Sage, Addison, what about you?

- No. Why do we skate in a skate park?

I thought they were for hanging out.

- Oh, there's a great bubble tea shop nearby.

[determined electronic pop music]

? ?

- What are you doing? - Nothing.

- Is that my figurine?

- This is your volcanic giant

with dragon skin defense shield?

- Wait, wait.

There are other nerds in the school

who play Karstlands, Auguries of Fate?

- Yep, every Tuesdays after school,

but before I record my podcast, "The Conspiracy Facts."

- How did I not know about this?

- About my podcast?

You should really like and subscribe.

- No, that you two play A of F.

- Will you join our quest?

- Does an orc slayer hunt in the night?

- But you have to promise not to mention this to anyone.

We have to shield ourselves from the scorn of outsiders.

- I promise. - Amazing.

We're just waiting for our Omen Speaker to arrive.

- Ooh, who is it?

Dmitri? Phoebe?

Some other dork?

- Hey, nerd turds.

- Mike Cavallari?

- Didn't find the missing die,

but I did find this Raisinet behind the vending machine.

- A bunch of dudes and a pit of concrete.

Awesome.

- [muffled] Lydia? Lydia?

We need to reinforce outdated patriarchal ideals.

Did you really just come here to ogle some boy?

- What are you talking about?

Chuck? Me?

No, no, that's so funny that you'd think that.

Why would--why would-- why would you think that?

- Because of the way you just said it.

- No, we're just pals.

Bro-sephs. Bill-Bro Baggins.

Bro Bro Siwas!

Hey, can I borrow your board now?

I want to try to golly. - Ugh.

If you need me, I'll be rolling my eyes over there.

- Did you mean an ollie?

All right, just put your right foot

on the back of the board, and then--

- [snickers] - Huh.

That was a lot easier last time I tried.

- How about you hold onto me for your balance?

You know, just until it comes back to you.

[dreamy music]

[gasps] Oh, my gosh!

Is this really happening?

- Hey, that looks cool. Can I try?

- Um, sure.

- OK.

? ?

- Whoa, Sage!

- You've got to be kidding me.

- Keep at it, Lydia.

You'll get it eventually.

- Hey, can we go over there? Right now? Just the two of us?

- Are you sure you're ready for that?

It's a pretty big step up.

- Never been more sure of anything in my entire life.

- I thought we agreed: no outsiders.

- But I want her here. We both do.

- [groans] Who died and left you two in charge?

- The Orc Emperor.

It happened in our last campaign, remember?

- Fine, she's in.

What's your avatar?

- I'm Kalemi, first of her name.

Volcanic giant with dragon skin defense,

birthed in the molten village of Mantle Rock.

- [laughs]

A Vol-Gi with scales?

What else does she have, nightshade cloaking?

- Hey, that is a very hateful stereotype.

She's an honorable giant.

Besides, what's your avatar?

Something trite like a celestial wizard?

- Hey, Gorpheus the Grey is a rank seven potion master,

thank you very much.

Now are we gonna play or what?

[dramatic music]

? ?

- This is your classic quarter pipe.

- Are there any full pipes?

Won't that be safer?

- Trust me, it's not as scary as it looks.

Just focus on a spot ahead of you,

lean forward, and drop in.

- I don't know if I'm ready for this.

- We can always try again tomorrow,

something less ambitious.

Or if you want, we could just hang.

- Is he leaning into me? Playing with his hair?

Is he asking me out?

No, what if he's not?

Don't be silly, Lydia. Remember how he invited Sage.

- So what do you think?

- That'd be fun, buddy.

- OK, sure.

- Goodbye, Charles.

See you on the next skate deck.

- Hey, you forgot my helmet.

- Goodbye, Charles.

See you on the next skate deck.

- I could honestly watch this a thousand times in a row.

- Wait, you forgot my helmet. - Delete that immediately.

- Do you want me to delete the three backups

in the file I emailed to Bubbie too?

- Get out. Now!

I punched Chuck. - Why?

- Because I couldn't tell if he was asking me out or not.

What was I supposed to do?

- I don't know, respond like a normal human being?

- We both know I'm incapable of that!

- True.

But do you want to go out with him?

- Why does that matter?

- I think it matters a lot.

- It could never happen.

Even if I did have a crush on Chuck, which I don't,

after what happened yesterday, there's no chance, right?

- Crush, you say?

Well, Lydia, I can give you

some flirting advice, if you want.

Not to humble brag, but I'm a bit of an expert.

- That's just a brag.

- Sing to him. Boys can't resist a mezzo soprano.

- I don't need to sing or flirt

because I don't have a crush on Chuck.

- Really? I think Chuck's kind of cute.

? ?

- That was fun yesterday.

Can't wait to finish off the campaign.

- Who knew you were so awesome at incantations?

- What's she talking about?

- Uh, I don't know.

Just leave me alone. I'm not into your dorky game.

- It's not dorky!

OK, it is.

But I'm not afraid to admit that I play Auguries of Fate.

- That's just sad. - No, you know what's sad?

You're too ashamed to admit who you really are.

- Ooh, sick burn.

Dr. Saunders is gonna have a field day with that.

- Don't bring Dr. Saunders into this.

- Come on, Mike. You know what happened.

Henry needs your level 47 potion prowess

to free himself from the Chimeras' pillars of fire.

- OK, maybe I was there,

but only to make fun of those nerds.

- Sure, buddy.

? ?

- I just can't with you two. You're so adorable together.

- Stop it. You're embarrassing Chuck.

- She's not punching him.

Maybe he didn't ask her out.

Or did he?

Does Chuck like me or Sage?

It's so annoying when people can't admit

their true feelings.

- Hey, Lydia. We'll meet at the skate park after school?

- Yep, see you there.

? ?

- Don't put your Vol-Gi here.

I mean, your weird figurine, dweeb.

- I don't care if people think I'm a dweeb,

and neither should you.

There's nothing wrong with pretending to be

a volcanic giant or celestial wizard

or a man-eating shark-bear hybrid--

OK, that last one's a little bit weird, but still!

- Can you stop yelling?

- Do you want to end the campaign?

Your guild is trapped.

We have the ingredients for an elixir of strength,

and we need a potion master with the courage to use them,

to stand up in front of all the Karstlands

and show that he won't let the Chimera push him around.

- I will craft the potion!

Bubbles, roil, toil, and trouble.

Grab your D12s and roll a double!

- We can actually wait till the art room's open--

OK, you're doing it now.

- [gasps] - Ah, double eights!

- Well, don't just stand there. Get that potion to your guild!

- Ugh.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm ever gonna get this.

- Really? Giving up on skating already?

- Don't get me wrong.

I like skateboarding a lot,

but maybe it's just too cool for me.

- I promise it's not.

Just keep at it.

- I don't know.

Maybe it's a better fit for Sage.

- Oh, OK.

- Wait, are you talking about skateboarding or...

something else?

- What do you think?

- I--I honestly have no idea.

- I was talking about something else.

- Oh, my gosh, I can do it!

- Chuck, I wanted to ask you something.

- [groans]

- Do you want to go get bubble tea with me?

- Um, I don't know, sure.

? ?

- [sighs]

- I saw what happened.

- Can we skip past the teasing

and go straight to me ignoring you?

- I'm not here to make fun of you.

In fact, I got something that I think

will make you feel a whole lot better.

- I don't want to see what effects you put

on that video of me and Chuck.

- Look.

- Oh, my gosh, I can do it!

Your point?

- It's really hard for me to say but...

you look kind of cool there.

- Oh.

Thanks, Mel.

- By the way, you're not smiling because of Chuck.

If you notice, he's nowhere to be seen here.

- Yeah, because Sage got the guy,

and once again, I got nothing out of it.

- If you think you got nothing out of it,

you're stupider than you look.

- Hey! I look objectively smart.

- Trying skating to impress some boy is pathetic.

But giving up something that makes you happy

because of that boy, that's even more pathetic.

- Is this supposed to be some sort of pep talk?

- Lyds, look, it's OK to fall.

But we got to get you back up on that board.

- [sighs]

Where did you get that?

- It doesn't matter. Watch this.

- Does everybody know how to do this except for me?

- Don't tell Mom, but I used to skate.

- Ha! I knew it.

Wait. Why "used to"? You're incredible.

- I don't know. I guess I was...

intimidated by all the testosterone and judgment.

- You, intimidated?

- Honestly, I'm kind of in awe of you, the way you skate.

Not at all self-conscious of how terrible you are.

- Hey. - Having a blast in a place

I felt I could never let go and be myself.

It's no cauldron of toxic masculinity if you're there.

It's for everyone.

Maybe if I could teach you a thing or two,

it could be something we can do together?

- Really? You want to skate with me?

- We can, you know, take back the quarter pipe.

? ?

- Doubles! - [exclaims]

- That conjures a counter-spell to blast the Chimera

back to the fiery pits of Hadrigonia from whence he came.

The Karstlands have been spared,

and the world is now at peace.

- Woo-hoo!

- So it's way nerdier than I imagined.

Can I play next? - OK.

But the rules are a bit complicated.

- Who knew that playing a dorky game

with the cool kids could be so much fun?

- You're welcome, Julie.

? ?

- Ugh. OK.

[groans]

I need painkillers, rest, and a snowsuit,

but not in the way you think.

An actual suit made out of snow to ice my body.

I'm never gonna get this. - Of course you are.

You've just got to believe in yourself.

- Really? You think a lack of confidence is my issue?

- Right, because you'll be a failure your whole life

if you don't land an ollie.

- Too far in the other direction.

- Lyds, look.

I believe in you, OK?

Maybe for the only time in your life,

I'm cheering for you to succeed.

- [gasps]

Oh, my gosh, that was the greatest!

[squeals]

Please tell me you got that on video.

Come on. That's the one thing you didn't film?

? ?

- I brought another bag of frozen peas.

Was it worth it?

- Worth the excruciating pain in every part of my body?

Kind of.

- I think the lesson is,

even if they don't make you popular,

skateboarding and Auguries of Fate are both cool,

if they make you happy, right? You do you.

- Wait, I'm sorry. So you blew me off

to play some silly board game? - Yep.

And turns out, Mike Cavallari isn't such a bad guy after all.

- You blew me off to play some silly board game

with Mike Cavalleri?

- Yeah.

We have a lot to catch up on.

- So what should we rate this experiment?

- Four Orc Emperors out of five.

- You mean five ollies out of six?

- I have no idea what you just said.

- That makes two of us.

Ow. - Oh, here.

Sorry.

[upbeat music]

? ?

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