Original subtitles

- I can't believe you're reacting this way.

I just thought I knew you.

- It's really not that big of a deal.

- You like raisins in your baked goods.

How is that not a big--

deal?

[eerie music]

- Someone's moving into the old Shavenham house?

- Who would move into a haunted house?

- Well, it does seem really difficult for someone

to move into a haunted house 'cause ghosts don't exist.

- Well, whoever moves in there is gonna

be a social pariah, just like people who like

raisins in their baked goods.

- Okay. Okay.

Listen up.

Class, I'd like to introduce

our newest student, Lucy Graves.

That's as warm a welcome as you're gonna get.

- Wait, are you the family that moved

into the old Shavenham house?

- Yeah.

- No way.

- Why would anyone move in there?

- My mom's doing it for a TV show--

"Houses, Horrors, and Haunts."

- Wait, your mother is Sandy Graves?

Is she as bold in real life?

No, don't tell me.

I'm a middle school teacher.

I can't take any more disappointment.

- Well, have you seen Miss Shavenham's ghost?

Does she hog the bathroom mirror every morning?

- You have to share a bathroom with the ghost?

Can't they just go wherever?

- Miss Shavenham is trapped in the walls.

It's Bloody Gary that lives in the bathroom mirror, right?

- Who's Bloody Gary?

- Bloody Mary's boyfriend?

- Even Bloody Mary has a boyfriend?

- We thought Lucy was gonna be a social pariah, but look.

Everyone seems drawn to her like bees to a flower.

- Maybe because of her famous mom?

- Or maybe because of her famous mom's connections

to the ghost world.

- Ursula talks about UFOs, government bugs,

and a secret society of lizard people.

That doesn't make her popular.

- Oh, that's geeky, not ghosty.

- Even Addison's interested.

- Maybe she's fascinated by the unknown?

- And what's more unknown than what happens in the afterlife?

- Why characters in movies don't say goodbye

when they hang up the phone.

- Touch�.

[upbeat music]

- Oh, yeah

All right

Oh, yeah

We thought Lucy would be an outcast.

But we were wrong, which begs the question,

does having a ghost story make you popular?

- I still think it makes you delusional

because ghosts aren't real.

- Whether they're real or not, we still talk about them

long after they're dead.

Ghosts, eternally popular.

The woman in white,

the woman in black,

the woman in gray--

I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

- Yep.

Society has an irrational fear of powerful women

in neutral tones.

- Exactly.

People love to be scared.

How else do you explain horror movies,

roller coasters, and birthday clowns?

- You can be scared of those things

because they actually exist.

- Oh, come on, Jules.

Haven't you always wanted to be a part of a story

bigger than yourself?

We could be like part of an urban legend.

- This means a lot to you, doesn't it?

- We could be like Slender Man--

no, Slender Women.

- How do we do it?

- I'm so glad you asked.

Step one--

Step three--

This plan is so good, it's scary.

Come on, Jules.

Get in the spirit.

If you got it, haunt it.

- Just don't.

- That's fair.

[lawn mower rumbling]

- Lucy, come get your silly stuff.

I'm not moving it for you.

What are you looking at?

- Nice dog collar.

- Thanks.

I like your shirt.

[upbeat music]

- Hey, do we have math class together?

- No.

But I think we do have chemistry.

- I don't take chem--

Oh.

- When a ghost sneezes, where does the snot go?

- Hyper-thetically, could a ghost do your homework?

- Would you like some of my ghost-shaped gummies?

- No. No. Yes.

Can we talk about something else, please?

- Is it just me, or does Lucy look super uncomfortable?

- Being mega popular must be so overwhelming.

- Right, we should remember that when

we're in the same situation.

- Which will be soon because it's time

to put our plan into action.

- Are ghost naked, or do they have clothes on?

And if so, who does their laundry?

- Okay, okay. Show's over.

Give the lady some space.

Ursula here will answer

all your ghost-laundry-related questions now.

- Okay.

Well, before anyone asks, no, ghosts don't need

bleach for their clothes to stay white.

I get that asked all the time.

- Thanks.

- No prob.

I'm Julie. This is Lydia.

- I don't know if you've heard, but we're extremely popular.

We'd be happy to give you the lay of the middle school land.

- You're the popular girls?

- Mm-hmm. - Weird.

I haven't heard anyone talking about you or to you.

- That's probably because things are

really different here. - Yeah.

No one talks to the popular kids

because we're so intimidatingly cool.

- You're totally gonna love it here.

This school is amazing. - Mm-hmm.

Oh, and that is where I go when I'm overstimulated.

- How unexpected.

I love that the popular kids here like

low lights and minimal sound.

What else do the popular kids do here?

both: We have sleepovers.

- I'd love to have a sleepover.

Can we do one tonight?

- It's Tuesday. - It doesn't matter.

I can do any day.

What about Friday?

Can we stay at your place?

- Oh, we can't.

It's being fumigated.

- Oh, what about Julie's?

- My house is also being fumigated.

- Looks like we'll just have to stay at your place, Lucy.

- Oh, but my house is haunted.

- It is?

Oh.

- Oh, we could get a hotel room or a motel room.

I'm not picky.

- I'm sure your nightmare factory will be totally fine.

Strength in numbers, right?

- Yeah, strength in numbers.

Maybe I shouldn't say all the coolest girls

over for the night.

I'll catch you in class. - All right.

- We have Friday night plans.

It's like something out of a teen movie,

not that I'm allowed to watch those.

- What do you even pack for a sleepover at a haunted house,

suspenders of disbelief?

- You're going to a sleepover at the Shavenham house?

Don't you know the story of it?

- No.

But I have a feeling you're about to tell us.

- Legend has it, the woman who built the house,

old Maude Shavenham, was left at the altar 15 times.

She died in that house,

waiting for her last fianc� to show up,

but he never came.

So now she haunts it, looking for someone, anyone,

to spend eternity with her,

which is, like, so heteronormative,

it makes me sick.

Well, have fun.

[ominous music]

- I forgot my toothpaste.

[gentle music]

- Melody, right?

What you writing?

- Poetry, emo poetry.

- How very Virginia Woolf of you.

Nice lipstick.

- Thanks.

I hate everything by this vegan edible makeup company

that donates proceeds to a charity

for teens with basic parents.

- Love that.

What are you doing Friday?

- Why?

- My mom's away, filming for her show.

I have to watch my super-annoying sister

and her super-annoying friends.

I could use the backup.

- Okay, well, I'd have to check my schedule.

Yep. Looks like I'm free.

- Sweet.

Maybe you could read me some of your poetry then.

- Oh, I'm so glad you guys came.

Okay, you can set up in there.

I'll go grab some snacks.

- A sleepover with the cool kids and ghosts?

Can this get any better?

What?

- I just don't want you to be disappointed

if there's no ghost. - Oh, no.

Then it's just a sleepover with the cool kids, still win-win.

- Cool kids? Awesome!

[screaming]

I've never been to a sleepover before.

Classified info, I've never been to anyone's house before,

except for my Nana's.

But this house smells just like hers.

Mildew and night terrors.

- There's not a ton of sleep at sleepovers.

It's mostly someone talking at you until 4:00 a.m.

in my experience.

- Hey, my post-midnight conversations

are always riveting.

- Oh, well, I brought pillows anyway,

pillows for sleeping, pillows for fighting,

pillows for emotional support,

pillows to scream into for stress relief.

- Ooh. Dibs on this one.

- And sheets with the eyes cut out,

in case we need to trick the ghost into thinking

we're ghosts too.

- Lucy probably doesn't want to talk about ghosts--

I mean, unless she does, because wouldn't it be

so crazy if we had an encounter with one tonight?

- I was actually hoping maybe we could do something

non-ghost related like watching a movie.

- Oh, yeah, sure.

- Great.

[ominous music]

[all giggling]

[static droning]

- I'm sorry. - It's okay.

- It's Maude Shavenham.

- Not again.

This always happens.

- You know, there's one way to know for sure:

lure it out with dill pickle chips.

- I love dill pickle ch--

- Save them for the ghost.

[growling]

[screaming]

- You dorks okay?

[screaming]

- Melody? What are you doing here?

- I was invited.

- Who would invite you?

- Hey, Virginia.

[screaming]

- I let myself in.

- Y-you know, I told you to stay away from my sleepover.

- And I told you emancipate yourself from the family.

And yet here we both are.

- Love the outfit.

- Thanks. I like your hat rack.

- Want to see something cool?

- What could beat a hat rack?

[ominous music]

- Maude Shavenham-- she never left the property,

not even in death.

What a bummer.

- That she died here?

- No, that the heteronormative ideals

made her think that she needed to get married

in order to be happy.

- I said the same thing.

[raven cawing]

- When we were living at this haunted fortune teller's house,

I learned to read palms.

- What does it say?

- Your personality line says you're mischievous.

So, Melody, what kind of trouble

should we get up to tonight?

- I wish this ghost would just leave us alone.

- You know, we could ask it to.

- How?

- Well, there's a simple board game that

I've been using for years.

And I know people think it's silly.

But trust me, it works every time.

[suspenseful music]

- "Boggle"?

- You laugh, but this is how

I got the poltergeist out of Nana's toilet.

- We've got to work with what we've got.

- Maude, are you here?

And do you know the rules of "Boggle"?

- Adeunth.

- Look, the H and then the A

and the U--

haunted.

- It's here.

- I was just joking.

It's just a five-point word.

- Where are you going?

- To the bathroom?

- Because this is so scary, you have to pee?

Been there, recently.

- Okay.

- Shake the letters again.

- Maude, have you been stealing the chips?

Because I'm pretty sure I had another bag.

[julie screams]

- Julie?

No, we have to go.

- [whimpers]

[ominous music]

I was just in the hallway, and I saw this.

- "Oob." What does it mean?

- And why is it written in blood?

- Look, guys, I'm sure there's

a logical explanation for this.

[chuckles]

- It doesn't say "oob."

It says...

"boo."

- Ew, Ursula, what are you doing?

- Weird.

Miss Shavenham bleeds hot sauce.

- Why would you test it that way?

- Hot sauce?

This wasn't a ghost.

- Yeah, I know exactly who did it.

both: My sister!

- Stop squirming.

- I can't. It tickles.

- [panting]

What have you two been doing?

- Nothing.

Just writing poetry on each other's arms,

totally not weird.

- You're trying to ruin my sleepover.

- If your sleepover's ruined, it's your own fault.

- I can't believe you are pretending to be

a ghost just to scare us.

- What are you talking about?

- You put hot sauce on the wall.

- What does that even mean?

[electrical humming, buzzing]

- Seriously, stop doing that.

- Doing what?

- If it wasn't any of us, then that means--

- It was Shavenham.

[screaming]

- Oh, are you guys okay?

- The lights went out.

- We got our paranormal experience.

Time to go.

- Wait, you can't just leave me here alone.

- You're not alone.

There's a ghost.

Yeesh, Lucy, try and keep up.

- I don't think we really need to see anything else right now

except for our own beds.

- I thought your house was being fumigated.

- Oh, right, I did say that.

- Lucy, I'm really sorry. I--

- This happens at every house.

You know, I understand if you all just want to leave

and never talk to me again.

- You know, I am sick of being afraid all the time.

- Lucy, you can't live like this.

You have to break the cycle.

Face your fears once and for all.

We've got to get rid of this ghost.

- How?

- Maude clearly has unfinished business.

We need to help her move on.

- And I know just how to do it.

- Are the candles for Miss Shavenham?

- No, they're so we can see.

- Did you guys get the supplies?

- Lydia, what are you doing?

- I made a star out of salt.

- A star has five sides and, like, a general shape.

- You ever looked at a night sky?

This is way more accurate.

- Give me that.

- I brought turmeric.

- What could we possibly use turmeric for?

- It's a very versatile spice.

You'd be surprised.

- You know, we're trying to get rid of a ghost,

not cook a dinner.

- Are you sure this is gonna work?

- Totally.

- What now?

- We make a connection with Maude.

Everyone grab hands.

[suspenseful music]

- Maude Shavenham, we know your story.

And we know you haunt the living because you're looking

for the love of others.

But there's something more important than that.

- Chips.

- No, self-love.

- Those guys that left you at the altar are losers.

- They didn't deserve you.

- They would have made you conform

to 19th century patriarchal norms.

- Yeah, you totally dodged a bullet,

especially with fianc�s 8 through 12.

- Now you got your whole afterlife ahead of you.

You don't need a man.

You are a strong, independent poltergeist.

[dramatic music]

- It's time for you to be a free spirit, Maude,

to be at peace.

Your long wait is over.

It's time for you to go!

- Did it work?

- Please, please, please, please.

- Yes!

- Oh, my gosh.

- We did it. - We did it.

- We did it. - We did it.

[exhaling]

- So now that the ghost is gone,

it's okay if you all want to leave.

- All right, time for me to bounce.

Psych!

[upbeat music]

- Oh, you're gonna be--

- Oh, yeah?

[giggling]

[raven caws]

- Yard sale?

I'll buy the hat rack if it's up for grabs.

- Now that Mom knows how hard the show's been on Lucy,

she's decided to trade in the ghosts

and host a reality dating show.

- Now, that's scary.

So you're moving?

[gentle music]

- I got you this.

Think of me every time you write something emo.

- That's, like, all the time.

- Till next time, Virginia.

- She was speaking to us from beyond the grave,

which is in her backyard.

And just when we thought we were safe, she struck again.

It was Maude's ghost, right, Julie?

- The TV switched channels,

clearly to let us know we were her next victims...

And wrote us a message in blood.

- If it wasn't any of us, then that means--

[inhales sharply] It was Shavenham.

[screaming]

- Who else could it have been?

- Then we helped complete Maude's unfinished business

so that her spirit could move on.

- I figured out what really went down.

Very clever, Julie.

All I want to know is, did the ghost put you up to it?

- It wasn't a conspiracy, Ursula.

It was about giving my BFF a story

she would always be able to tell.

- I hear you loud and clear.

- And she totally moved on.

So thanks to us, Maude will never be seen again.

- So that's it?

No more ghost?

- Wow, talk about anticlimactic.

- Yeah, Maude seemed like a feminist icon.

Can we bring her back?

- Maybe?

- Boo, and not in a ghost way.

- No, no, wait.

There could still be a ghost there.

Maybe Bloody Gary?

I heard he's really clingy!

- Oh, it's okay.

Well, it kind of worked.

So I give this experiment 6.66 oobs out of 10.

- That might be your best rating yet.

[screaming]

[upbeat music]

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