Original subtitles

[watch beeps]

- I know you like school, but it should be illegal to be

this happy this early.

- That law will never pass, no matter how many times

you email your representative. - Says you.

So what's your deal?

- I'm just in a really good mood.

I finally know where all our classes are.

I haven't splashed spaghetti sauce on myself in weeks.

- Hmm.

- And Addison even smiled at me yesterday.

[squeals]

- Pretty sure she just smiled in your general direction.

- Ah, it still counts.

I just finally feel like I understand

this whole middle-school thing. - Mm-hmm. Yeah, sure.

- Wow, so cool.

[watch beeps]

- Do you understand that?

Are those E-Watches?

Hmm. I think I saw an ad for them.

- Oh, yeah. E-Watches.

It's like a smartphone for your wrist,

but without the needless functions

like making phone calls.

- I heard they can tell you

when other E-Watchers are nearby.

- Oh, looks like they're getting around.

- Is this the cool new thing?

[watches beeping]

- [scoffs] They can't be that cool

if Headgear Henry has one.

- Hey. Henry, right?

[chuckles] I have the same watch.

Have you tried selfie mode? You can never have too many.

- Addison Anglade is talking to me?

- Come on. - Oh.

[laughter]

- Henry gets to take selfies with Addison,

all because of some watch? [watch beeps]

Do you know what this means?

- Headgear is making a comeback?

- We need those watches!

- No.

- But, Mom, everybody has this E-Watch!

- Yeah, and if everyone jumped off a bridge,

would you do that, too?

- If it meant landing in a pile of E-Watches, I'd consider it.

- No, honey. They're just too expensive.

Money doesn't grow on trees. - Everybody always says that,

but money is literally made out of paper.

- Technically, it's a polymer blend.

So money is both evil and environmentally immoral.

- Thank you very much.

Look, if you want a watch so badly,

you can borrow one of mine.

Oh, I might even let you use

Bubbie Wendy's special gold one.

How about that? - Ew, Mom!

This isn't the Stone Ages.

Nobody cares about gold anymore.

Besides, Julie's dads will totally say yes to the watch.

- No. - No.

- But, Baba, Dad, I really want the new E-Watch.

I've never even had an old E-Watch.

This is your way to make it up to me.

- [sighs] Nice try, Juju.

- If you want a flashy new item,

then you're going to have to save up for it yourself.

- Mm-hmm.

- With what money?

My only source of income is asking you guys

to buy things for me.

- Hmm.

Well, looks like you're going to have to find another way.

- Mm-hmm.

- Another way?

[tense music]

[upbeat music]

- Oh, yeah

All right

Oh, yeah

- Does having a cool new E-Watch make you popular?

I don't know, Lyds. Just one costs $150.

Do you know what we could do with 150 bucks?

- Buy 150 things from the dollar store?

- Exactly.

I just don't think it's in the cards for us, Lyds.

- But, Jules, every second we don't have that watch,

we fall further behind the times.

And we won't know how far behind we are,

because we don't have the E-Watch.

- It tracks every time you walk past a store

and notifies you when it's having a sale.

- See? It'll save us so much money...

you know, by telling us where to spend it.

Jules, I know we only found out about this watch.

But I promise you, our world will change with one of them.

- Heh. You're just forgetting about one tiny obstacle.

Our parents said no.

- [scoffs] Traitors.

But it's fine--I'm sure we have loads of money.

We'll just buy it ourselves.

$63.

Ugh! There's crumbs in this, Julie.

Ew! - Eh.

- Ew, ew.

And...three quarters.

Okay. The watch costs $150.

So we're short $30.25.

- See? Insurmountable.

[upbeat music]

- No, Martha, I'm just too swamped

to take on a new client.

Besides, there's a reason why nobody

wants to work with a guy named Terry "The Tyrant" Stone.

Yeah, agreed. It is a weird middle name.

You know what? He's not worth the headache.

Tell him that Jared will call him back.

He probably won't, but that's the point.

Okay. Bye.

[phone beeps]

Hey, what's this?

Melody, come here.

What's this grade nine class trip to Paris, France?

What? We've always wanted to go to Paris.

See the Eiffel Tower, call pancakes "les crepes"

and feel so fancy about it.

That's fun. That's exciting, right?

Why isn't this excited?

Oh, right, the cost. That's not exciting.

You probably thought it was too expensive for you to go, huh?

- Or I thought that a public school requiring students

to pay this amount for such a lavish trip

only perpetuates the class divide.

- And you thought I'd say no?

Is that why you're upset? - I'm not upset.

It's just my face.

Besides, I see my annoying classmates enough as it is.

- Hey, you know what?

You are going to go on this trip, all right?

- But you just told Lydia that money doesn't grow on trees.

Why can't you deprive me the same way you deprive her?

- Are you seriously jealous

that you're not being deprived enough?

- You're making it really hard on me to be rebellious.

- [laughs] Oh! I can't win here.

- Not everything is about you, Mom!

- What--How--

Ugh. [cell phone ringing, buzzing]

Oh.

Hey, Martha.

You know what? I am going to take on that tyrant.

Yeah.

Yes.

- How are we going to earn $30?

- I don't know.

My mom's a lawyer. - Hmm.

- We could sue her for the money.

- Or wild suggestion--we could get jobs to earn the money.

- Hmm. Melody always says capitalism

is an unfair system that separates workers

from the means of production.

Do we know how to exploit the masses?

- No.

- Okay. Well, jobs it is, then.

What job can a 12-year-old do?

- I know just the thing.

- Are you sure about this?

- I'm, like, 25% sure.

All right, so all we have to do is throw these newspapers

to the houses on the street and the street after that

and the street after that and the street after that.

[grunts] It's called a paper route.

It's like the Uber Eats of newspapers.

- Oh, now I get it. - Yeah.

- Why didn't you just start with that?

- Anyways, let's practice.

All we have to do is hit the target.

- How hard could it be?

Hand me one.

[paper thumps] both: Oh.

- Just a fluke. [chuckles] - Yeah.

- Let's try it again. - You got this this time.

- No.

- It's all in the wrist, okay? Ready? Watch.

Step back.

[glass shatters] Oh. [laughs nervously]

Hopefully repairing a window doesn't cost that much, right?

- Just keep your head down.

You didn't see it. It never happened.

[grunts] - Oof!

- Sorry, Mrs. Andreychuk!

[both shout] - Whoa!

Quite the arm for an octogenarian.

- Yeah. Well, let's do one more.

Ready? both: One, two, three.

[laughter]

- We did it. - I think we're ready.

- My feet hurt.

How much does a massage cost?

- That was exhausting.

- [sighs] Jobs are the worst.

- Well, at least we have enough money for the watch now.

- Mm-hmm.

[school bell ringing]

[watch beeps]

- Hey, nice watch! - Mm-hmm.

Thanks for letting me wear it first.

- Always.

Now, work it like we worked for it.

[upbeat music]

Hey, Spit Valve.

Ask Julie what time it is.

- Why? I know it's morning.

- Don't you want to know a specific time?

- It feels like a solid 8:53 to me.

- Just check out our watch.

And, actually, it's 8:55, so...

- No one has E-Watches anymore. Those are so last week.

- "Last week"?

Wait, what's happening?

What is Addison wearing?

- Hey, nice headphones! We're matching!

- Are those Bow Headphones?

- Addison and Spit Valve both have them.

Where did they come from?

- I'll look it up.

"Bow Phones are the hottest innovation

"in sound technology,

using the most cutting-edge design aesthetic, bows."

- They're not even wearing their E-Watches anymore!

- Yeah. The bow's a little goofy.

But the sound quality is impeccable.

- Well, I think the bow's cute.

- Yeah. Love me some bows.

Very rock and roll. [chuckles]

[muffled music plays]

[watch beeps] - Hey!

[watch beeps] Twinsies.

- [whimpers]

[upbeat music]

- Wait. This feels very familiar.

- Don't worry, Julie.

Just a hiccup in the experiment.

We'll get it right this time. [groans softly]

Okay, slight switch-up.

Do Bow Phones make you popular?

- I don't know about this.

The watch I could get behind. It was pretty functional.

But Bow Phones?

They're just headphones with a bow.

- Oh, come on, Bow Phones are way better.

Bows are totally nostalgic.

They bring me back to a simpler time...

grade six.

- That was just a few months ago.

- More like a lifetime.

We just need to up our job game to be able to afford them.

Should we deliver newspapers again?

- We have to wait at least another week for new issues.

Print is dying, Lydia. We need a side hustle.

Driving a taxi? It's the Uber Eats of driving.

- We don't drive.

We could sell all our junk in a yard sale.

- I don't own a lot of junk. - Mm-hmm.

- What? I treasure everything I own.

- Well, Melody has a lot of old vintage junk.

We could just sell that. - Oh, and I can draw portraits.

- Your portraits are amazing!

And if there's one thing Kristy, Claudia,

and Mary Anne prepared us for, it's--

- Clubs with an entrepreneurial focus.

- Babysitting. both: Mm.

- Hey, I'm Julie.

I'm going to be watching you until your parents get back.

So what do you like to do?

- I like to run. - Oh, that's cool. I like to...

- [laughs]

- Finish conversations.

- Who knew you had such great taste, Lydia?

- This is actually Melody's collection.

- So Melody is still the only one who knows music

in your family, huh? - If you like songs to cry to.

So buy something or move along before she gets here.

- Don't rush me.

I need to let these records speak to me.

Ooh.

Is this original pressing?

- This is Henry.

We're going to draw him, okay?

If I let you help me, do you promise not to run away again?

Okay.

So take your marker, and you're going to draw.

- [laughs]

- [sighs] Sorry.

Come back here!

- Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Valve.

[chuckles]

Melody.

- I'll give you a head start. - Thank you.

[upbeat music]

- [growls]

- How's it coming over there?

- Whoa!

Oh, uh...

Um, oops.

- My hair does not look like that.

- What do you mean?

I think you'd look great with some long, luscious locks.

Okay. Sorry.

Uh, do you want a discount?

Cash with no tax?

- Do you take e-Transfer? - [chuckles]

[school bell ringing]

- I can't believe we made enough for two Bow Phones.

- Double popularity, here we come.

[muffled pop music plays]

- Incredible sound!

- What? I can't hear you! I have headphones on!

[laughs] - Shh!

- Huh?

[calming music]

- No!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

This can't be happening.

Oh, come on! Ugh!

- These puppies are taking my DJ game to new heights.

[lydia groans]

- Ugh. Third time's a charm.

- Yes, Mr. Stone.

No, sending pelicans to attack your ex-wife's yacht

is not going to help your case. - Pigeons, then.

- No, a different bird is still not going to help.

No, the bird species is not the issue, sir.

- Why not? - No.

- I know she hates them. - No.

Crow, pigeon, it doesn't-- - Mom.

- What bird do you suggest, then?

- [whispering] What? What has Lydia done now?

- My teacher told me that half the deposit has

has been paid for the Paris trip.

- Melody, please, okay?

I'm trying to win over this client.

As soon as I do, I'll pay for the rest of the deposit.

I'll even get Lydia that watch she wants.

- I thought Lydia wanted those ugly headphones.

- Headphones? I can't keep up.

- You don't need to keep up.

You're eating at the capitalist trough

like a corporate apologist.

- Melody, I'm not being an apologist.

- Are you even listening to me?

- [normal voice] Sorry, Mr. Stone.

- I need pelicans! - Fine.

We'll book the pelicans. - I don't want this.

- Please be quiet. - Ugh!

- Not you, sir. No, you can be as loud as you want.

[chuckles]

- I'm going to need a few more things.

I'll call you later.

[cell phone ringing] - Hi, Mr. Stone.

Hi, Mr. Stone. I'm looking at them now.

I'm so sorry. [ringing continues]

[whistle blows]

- Okay, new plan. Spirituality is in.

How do we buy it?

- [muttering] Mr. Stone, the coffee is mine.

It's the only thing I have left. Please.

Well, the pelicans weren't my idea.

Mr. Stone wanted them.

I can't afford to pay for any damages.

Oh, the pelicans are in my hair.

- Hi, Mom. - Hi, kid.

- Wearing your suit for pajamas?

Nice, very sustainable. - Uh-huh.

- I wanted to talk to you about a one-stop shop

to health and well-being. - Yeah.

I told you, honey, no more fads.

Look, I'm sorry. I just don't have time for this right now.

The Tyrant has me going through three years of phone records,

and it has to be due tomorrow.

- Mom. - Yes?

- I get it. I'm a working girl now, too.

And I'm not here to ask for anything.

I'm here to earn it.

Julie and I are here to do a few chores around the house

for some cash.

[cell phone ringing]

- Hi, Mr. Stone.

- [whispering] We can wash dishes.

Vacuum. - Uh-huh. Yes.

- Wash the car. - Uh-huh.

[whispering] Okay, car-washing supplies are in the garage.

- [normal voice] We'll have it brand-spanking-new.

- Yeah, I understand.

Hey, don't forget the sunroof. - My outbound calls.

- No. Yeah, you sure have called Australia a lot, huh?

- All right.

Last window.

[grunts]

- Okay. - Whew!

- Yeah.

We did it.

- Looking pretty spiffy, if I do say so myself, huh?

- Mm. - Yes, Mr. Stone.

I'm just--I'm just going to grab your file from my--my car.

[gasps]

Uh, no, everything's okay, Mr. Stone.

Can I just call you right back?

Lydia Eden Goldblatt!

- [chuckles nervously]

- Oh. - Oh.

So that's what you meant about the sunroof.

[both chuckling nervously] - Unbelievable.

- Mom. [chuckles nervously]

My beautiful, incredible, amazing--

my most precious, warmhearted, and understanding Mom.

- [sighs]

- We are so, so, so sorry,

the sorriest anyone has ever been.

- Mm-hmm. She-- - We.

- Mm-hmm.

We deserve to be grounded, 100%.

- Can that just happen after we get paid?

- Okay, just explain to me this.

Why do you girls need money so badly, hmm?

- Julie and I wanted to take up yoga.

And we wanted to earn the money for it ourselves.

- Yeah. - Pretty mature of us, huh?

- Okay, what happened to these E-Watches?

Or Melody mentioned something about the headphones

or something.

- Now we're on to yoga. - Yeah, try to keep up...

maybe...

she suggested sweetly.

- [chuckles] Okay. Okay.

Where are your watches and headphones now?

- The closet. - Lockers.

- [chuckles awkwardly]

- My closet. - The lockers.

- So let me get this straight.

So you two girls just spent all your time and your energy

working on something you don't even care about.

Is that right? - Mm...

- So why don't you actually work on something

that you care about?

How about that? - Mom, you just don't get it.

- Okay, tell me. - Yeah, Mom gets it.

She's just as happy as you being a cog

in the neoliberal machine.

- Okay, stop using words that I don't understand.

And you know what?

This is different because this is my job.

- How is this any different?

- Because I am working so hard, so hard

to make money for things that are important for you two.

- I've been trying to tell you all week,

I don't want to go to Paris. [cell phone rings]

- Hello. Yes, Mr. Stone.

- You're not listening to me. - Shh.

I'm personally going to replace every file.

- I could be saying anything, and you wouldn't hear it.

- Okay.

- You know I'd like to have original copies--

- I want to go one day. - Shh.

- How will this bode well for the case?

- But not with my basic classmates.

- Right.

- To represent me is dwindling--

- I wanted to go with--

- If you can't get the original files,

then make them look like originals.

- Okay.

- The files I've already signed.

- I wanted to go with you. - Okay, shh, shh, shh.

You know what? We're going to circle back on this later.

How about that? - Thank you.

I've been trying to talk to you all week.

- I really need to make my client a priority right now.

Can you please just understand this, Melody?

Please?

No, your files aren't completely destroyed.

They just-- they just need to dry out.

I'll get the files to you dry as a bone--

- Hey, just--just to make sure, I'm not grounded?

- Really? - Mom?

- Now?

- Was she right? We've been working so hard.

For what?

- I can't follow another trend.

[tense music]

- My mom did say it's better to spend your money

on things that are important.

- Hey, Lyds.

How much do you think our E-Watches and Bow Phones

will sell for, hmm?

[upbeat accordion melody]

- Please tell me you didn't do any more chores, Lydia.

- Keep your eyes closed. It's a surprise.

Okay. Right there. - A couple more steps.

- You know kidnapping is a felony, right?

- Melody, stop being so dramatic.

- Okay. Take off your blindfolds!

- Oh, you really need to be more grateful in your life.

You know that? - You just don't get it.

You're too focused on some awful client

to see what's right in front of your face.

- Melody, we've been through this.

- Don't make excuses. - Um, please, look around.

[Vincent Perrot's "L'amour old school"]

[person singing in french]

- What is this?

- Wow.

- We figured if we can't go to Paris right now...

- We'd bring Paris to you.

- Oh, girls, this is so lovely. Thank you.

- Sick bones, sis.

You rob a graveyard? - [giggles]

- How did you manage to pay for all this?

I'm a little afraid to ask.

- Well, we sold all our new stuff.

We never even wanted it in the first place.

- And spending time together like this--

so much more valuable.

- I couldn't imagine being in fake Paris with anyone else.

- Mm. - Mm.

- It'd be weird. It's in our backyard.

[cell phone ringing] - Oh.

It's okay. It's okay.

Hi, Mr. Stone.

Listen, you have to stop calling me.

- Excuse me? - Because I don't care.

- You don't care?

- Ask me how much I care. This much.

- Elaine! [phone beeps]

- [scoffs]

- That happened. [laughter]

- Well, um, let's eat.

- Bon app�tit. - Wow!

This is amazing! - [chuckles]

- That's beautiful.

- Well, Lydia, what did we learn?

- That new trends come and go,

but we'll always have each other and fake Paris.

So what do we want to rate this experiment?

- $2 out of $10? One for each of us.

- Make it $5.

We need to adjust for inflation.

- Do you even know what that means?

- No idea.

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