Original subtitles

[dog barking]

[alarm clock ringing]

- [groans]

[upbeat music]

[alarm clock beeping]

[grunts]

- (BOTH) Here we go.

- You look adorable. - This is so embarrassing.

Who still takes these photos in grade seven?

- You know resistance is futile against Baba.

Just smile.

- Mom, just take the picture!

- Do you think kids still take pictures like this

in grade seven? - Why wouldn't they?

They're adorable. - OK, eat your muffin fast.

This is your first time going to school by yourself.

And I don't want us both to be late.

- Oh, looks good. Can I have some?

- Melody!

- Oh, girls. - Give that back!

- Here, all yours. Ah!

- Ugh!

Why do you always have to be so gross?

- Stop! - To annoy you.

What's your excuse?

- Out, out, out!

I love you so much!

- (ON PHONE) Hello? - Elaine Goldblatt here.

Can I help you?

- You love me?

- Did I say I love you? I meant my daughters.

[laughs] That shouldn't have been on--on the phone.

[bell rings]

[chatter]

- Oh, Lydia Goldblatt!

- Julie Graham-Chang!

- (BOTH) I've missed you!

- It's been so long since yesterday.

- [sighs] Can you believe it?

New school, new start.

This is our chance to finally become popular.

- Counterpoint-- what if we didn't?

Popularity is just a social construct created by cool kids

to make people feel bad just for being themselves.

- That's why we have to become popular.

So we don't feel bad about being ourselves.

- But that's exactly what--

never mind.

- Come on, how bad could it be? You get to make new friends.

- But I already-- - Friends who aren't me.

And I'll finally get a solo in the school play,

because only popular girls get the lead.

- Really?

That's the only reason Sage gets the lead every year?

- What do people see in her?

She's so fake.

- Lydia, hey!

- Sage!

Just talking about how excited I am to see you.

How was your summer? - I spent it at an orphanage.

- I'm so sorry! - Oh my goodness!

- Oh! [laughs] No, my parents aren't dead.

I'm playing Annie at Stratford.

I was just really getting into character.

You know, those orphans, they're the real heroes.

- Hmm. Well, Stratford's nice.

But you're in the big leagues, now.

You're going to have to get through me

if you want the lead in the school play.

- [laughs] That'd be a fun change.

You know, seventh time's the charm.

Julie, I love your outfit.

I had the same one when I was five.

Bye, guys. See you later.

- Huh.

It's fun how her compliments cause pain.

- You know what?

I'm not going to let her throw us off our game.

We are going to absolutely crush middle school.

We got this.

[both laughing]

Whoo!

- Yeah.

[upbeat music]

- Oh, yeah

All right

Oh, yeah

[cheerful music]

- Is that who I think it is?

- She's adorable, right? - She's just so amazing.

- She's like the most perfect--

- Uh, is it just me, or is everyone staring at us?

- They must sense our unmistakable appeal.

It's all happening, Jules.

- She's like a literal angel.

- Thanks, Henry. That's a little much--

- Uh, Lydia, move. You're in the way.

- What do you--

[upbeat rock music]

- Who is-- - That?

- I heard Addison bathes in imported water.

It's true.

- I heard Addison took a personality test,

and it just said perfect.

- I am Dimitri.

I just moved here from Greece.

Some of my passions and hobbies include weaving--

- Yeah, yeah. What about Addison?

- Lydia!

I'm Julie. - A pleasure to make

your acquaintance, Julie. - Next!

- I heard Addison is Florence Anglade's sister,

of the Maple School Middle Anglades.

She's practically royalty.

- Whoa. - Wait, who are you?

- I'm Lydia Goldblatt, and this is Julie Graham-Chang.

- Uh, Morgan.

Editor-in-chief of the Manatee Mirror.

- Ooh.

- So what's your story?

Are you the child of a high-powered politician

trying out normal life?

A journalist pretending to be a middle schooler for an expos�?

- Nope, just two fearless girls trying to make

our mark on Mapleview Middle. [laughs]

- Ugh.

- OK.

- This is all wrong, Julie.

Addison is a whole other level than Sage.

I never factored in another tier of popularity.

- Excuse me, Goldbladder.

"Urine" my way.

- Mike Cavalleri, aren't you supposed

to be at Troubled Child Military Academy or something?

- Oh, missed you too.

But don't worry, because you're going

to get to see me every day for the next two years!

All right.

Bye-bye now.

- Ugh.

He's the worst.

- You think that's bad?

Try living with him.

[romantic chimes]

He's my little brother.

Half-brother.

- Uh-huh.

- [laughs]

- Lydia?

Lyd--Lydia.

- Hmm?

- I'm Chuck. - You're related to Mike?

I--I guess it's like how humans share half

their DNA with fungal growths.

I'm Lydia. [chuckles]

This is Julie.

- So you're the infamous Lydia Goldblatt.

Mike never said you were this funny.

- [laughs] Wait, what did he say about me?

- Just thought there was some incident

in grade three, something about being a Goldbladder.

- You know what?

Let's not repeat spurious rumors.

- Don't worry.

I take everything he says with a grain of salt.

See you guys later. - All right.

See you.

- [laughs nervously]

- Are you OK?

- Julie, I can't spend the rest of my life

being known as Goldbladder.

We need to change our reputation.

- We?

- No more.

[humming]

Ow!

You and me and a cup of joe.

[door clicks]

- Julie and Lydia have been kidnapped!

- What?

- We don't know that, but they could have been.

- OK. All right.

Shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush.

Alex, James, is this because the girls walked

to school by themselves today?

- No, don't be ridiculous.

- I mean--I mean, who's ever really ready to--

- OK, zip it.

I get it, all right?

I was the exact same way when Melody first walked to school.

But look at her, right?

She turned out OK.

It's important to give the kids a sense of independence.

They need to individuate.

- OK.

- Individuate.

- I learned that on the internet.

- OK. You know what?

You're right. You're right.

- I am right.

- [sighs] Thanks, Elaine.

We really--

- What?

- --needed this.

- Hey, that's mine.

Aw.

[bell rings]

[chatter]

- Is this seat taken?

Oh, I love your shoes.

- Oh, thank you. - And your necklace.

And your outfit, and your hair, and everything about you.

- I can't believe Sage already got the role

of Addison's best friend.

- What am I, the ghost of chopped liver?

- I would tattoo your face on my face.

You know that. The moment I turn 18.

[air horn blares]

- Welcome, students, returning and new.

I'm Principal Larocque, AKA--

DJ Larocque, Paper, Sci-Sci-Sci-Scissors!

[air horn blares]

As part of our Welcome Week events,

we are announcing a T-shirt design contest.

This is definitely about school spirit,

and not about complaints that our shirts are outdated.

Two finalists will be chosen to model their designs

in a fashion show.

Our judges will be our very own Manatee Mirror editor

Morgan Mackenzie, and the girl who's already

secured the cover of our Top 13 Under 13 edition,

Addison Anglade.

[applause]

- We just started middle school.

How is she already judging contests?

- We need to figure out what made

Addison so instantly popular.

- OK, everyone.

Settle down.

I hope you all had a nice summer.

Everyone needs a good break, whether from school

or work or marriage.

[chuckles] Today's lesson is on the scientific method.

Have you ever encountered a problem

that you didn't know how to solve,

like how does a light bulb work,

or where did that spark go? [laughs]

That is the surefire way of finding the answer.

Ask a question, do your research, form a hypothesis,

test your hypothesis, analyze your data,

and draw conclusions.

- (WHISPERING) Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

- Ms. Lawrence is going through something?

- This is how we're going to become popular.

By doing science.

[upbeat music]

As the scientific method advises,

first we ask a question.

But what question, exactly?

- Oh!

If you get sucked into a black hole, do you die or never die?

- Maybe for another day.

But Sage was obsessed with Addison's wardrobe.

So what if we asked,

does being fashionable make you popular?

- I sure hope not.

- Well, we have the perfect way to test it out.

Addison is judging the T-shirt contest.

So maybe if we get her fashion approval,

we'll be popular too.

- Seems logical.

- Then we are agreed.

Step one, design an iconic T-shirt.

Step two, impress the school at the fashion show.

Step three, win the competition

and become more popular than Addison!

[toy squeaks]

- OK.

Well, I see no flaws with this plan,

other than its amoral objective.

We just need something unique but relatable, and super cool.

I got it.

- Too literal.

- How about butterflies?

- I don't trust them.

Who chooses to leave a cocoon?

- Maybe more unicorn?

- I think we're good on the unicorn front.

Bees, dogs, strawberries?

- We're allergic to those things.

- Oh, yeah. - Wait! That's it.

Allergies!

- Unique and relatable.

- (BOTH) It's perfect!

- Oh.

- [laughs] Ow.

[upbeat music]

- Good morning.

Your hair's up.

You never wear your hair up.

- Why are you making such a big deal out of this?

- Well, you're the one that said that ponytails were

against your personal brand.

It's just a surprise to me, that's all.

[distant horn honking]

- What?

- Bet you weren't expecting that either.

- What is all of this?

Did you dye your hair black?

And all of your clothes as well?

- It's nothing, Elaine.

- Elaine, huh?

- Can I have my lunch?

I'm vegan now.

I don't want it.

Are you coming?

[door clicks open]

- Well, if you see my daughter,

just tell her I love her so much.

[door slams]

- Whoa.

- [shaky breathing] Our children have joined a cult.

- What? - A cult?

- OK, I don't know that for sure.

But they could have, because Melody came

downstairs dressed like she was going to my funeral,

and Lydia--

Lydia's wearing a ponytail!

I'm in a crisis!

- Elaine, it sounds normal.

- What?

- Listen, it's like you said yesterday.

It's important that they individuate.

- OK, but are you really going to trust a website

that just makes up words?

Before you know it, they're going

to be experimenting with tattoos

and getting pen pals with guys named

Beef Tank from Cell Block D.

- Beef Tank? - Tattoos?

- That's serious.

- What do we do?

- Well, it's obvious.

We have to stage an intervention.

- (BOTH) One, two, three!

- I forgot about your leather allergy.

- So did my dads, when they bought me

that Lady Gaga costume.

Ugh, rough Halloween.

- These allergy shirts are genius, Jules.

- Hey, Addison. - Hey.

- Whoa.

Is it just me, or does time slow down

when she enters a room?

- She looks so cool.

- So do we.

- Yeah, maybe on Planet Dork.

[laughs]

- Maybe we went about this the wrong way.

We made shirts we used to think were cool.

- You mean like 10 seconds ago,

when you said these shirts are genius?

- We need shirts that reflect the new versions of ourselves.

You know, versions that like everything Addison likes.

- How about an I Heart New Dork shirt?

- Get out of here, Mike!

[tense music]

Ugh, Sage.

What a stalker.

- Um...

- This isn't stalking, this is observing.

For science.

Ready?

- OK.

- OK. Uh, it looks like she has a shiny notebook.

Backpack with an A on it.

Looks like there's a water bottle, some argyle print.

I don't know, that's-- that's all I can see.

How'd we do?

- It's a lot to fit into one T-Shirt.

But uh, I think I got it all.

- Hmm.

[gasps]

(WHISPERING) You'd better let me do all the talking.

- (WHISPERING) I don't think me talking was ever an option.

- Welcome.

We're excited to see your design.

- Hello, esteemed judges.

This shirt is inspired by modern middle school-ism

and the current school climate.

One could say it's a vibe.

- [chuckles]

- Can you just show us the shirt?

- Certainly.

- [gags]

- Oh!

Oh, wow.

- Uh, what does--what does the A stand for?

- Abscessed. - Academics.

- Abscessed with academics.

- Yeah, OK.

Well, uh, we'll be in touch.

- OK. [giggles]

- You can go, you know.

- [chuckles]

- Mm-hmm.

- That was bad.

- You don't know it was bad.

The judges were hard to read.

- I think I saw Morgan gag.

- It's really anyone's to win, in my opinion.

The fact that we haven't heard a verdict

already means they're thinking

long and hard about their decision.

- (ON SPEAKER) Attention, Mapleview Middle!

With the fastest decision in Mapleview history,

we have our top two T-shirt finalists.

Your finalists are Sage Kennedy and Mike Cavalleri!

- Yeah!

- Maybe they made room for a third shirt.

- Congratulations to those two and those two only.

- This baby's taking me all the way to the top!

- It's so perfect.

- Am I crazy or does that shirt just say shirt?

- [sighs] Why didn't Addison like the shirt

that was inspired by her?

Where did we go wrong?

- Well, I'd maybe not tell her she inspired that monstrosity.

Besides, I think we were on to something

with these allergy shirts.

- But they wouldn't have won.

- How do you know?

We never showed them.

Maybe our gut instinct would have paid off.

- You're right.

We were so busy chasing the idea of what

we thought Addison would like,

we never gave our design a chance.

- We?

- If J. Robert Oppenheimer stayed a professor

and didn't follow his gut, he never would

have invented the atom bomb.

- Not the example I would have gone with,

but you're in the neighborhood.

[chuckles] Hmm.

The more I look at it, the more I kind of like it.

- We need to burn that immediately.

- What if I wear it? - Please don't.

That's so embarrassing. Stop.

[air horn blares]

- DJ Larocque in the hizzy!

Make some noise!

[scattered applause]

[air horn blares]

[michi's "live it up"]

- I have something to show you.

- Me too!

- Your first finalist is so fashion, it's scary.

Give it up for Mike Cavalleri!

[cheering, applause]

- Let the summer breeze hold you

Let the music control you

It's hot, hot, live it up

Let the summer breeze hold you

[camera clicks]

- Clap!

[camera clicks]

- It's hot, hot, live it up

[camera clicks]

- And you may recognize this next finalist

from her titular role as Annie!

Did we say they could write their own intros?

Give it up for Sage Kennedy!

- Yeah, Sage!

[applause]

[camera clicks]

- It's fine, if you're into that kind of thing.

[camera clicks]

- Sage!

- They've got nothing on our shirts.

- They absolutely don't!

- No, no, no!

- Come on.

- I was just humoring you!

No, no, no.

- You missed one entry!

- It's hot, hot, live it up

Let the summer breeze hold you

[camera clicking]

Let the music control you, it's hot, hot

- This is not part of the show. Do not encourage them.

[camera clicking]

- [vocalizing]

[camera clicking]

[music stops]

- Huh? Oh, no.

Lydia!

[camera clicks]

[whimpering]

- Two deluded students ruin things for all.

The headline writes itself.

[crowd booing]

[both laughing nervously]

- It's the other way.

- That's the wrong way.

That's the wrong way.

- Go that way.

- That was not an entry.

Uh, ignore everything you've just seen.

[air horn blares]

I want you both to write an essay about how what you did

wasn't cool. - But--

- Bup, bup, bup!

I don't want to hear any excuses.

- I was just going to say I enjoyed

your DJ set, Principal Larocque.

- Really? It was good, wasn't it?

- So good.

- I felt very in the zone today.

OK, fine. One essay.

You can share.

Just make sure to tell your friends about

DJ Larocque, Paper, Scissors.

- Will do. - All right.

[sighs]

- Hey, do you girls have a second?

- Uh, us? [laughs]

- As in, us?

- I love your shirts.

I have a gluten allergy,

and I've always been a bit embarrassed.

It's so cool how you embrace yours.

Do you think you could make me one?

- (LOUDLY) Totally!

I mean, yeah, we could do something about that, yeah.

- Great. I'll see you girls around.

- Bye.

- [laughs]

[triumphant music]

[both squeal]

- I pulled this intervention letter up

from YouTube, actually. It just--

[door squeaks open] - Hey, Mom.

- They're here. They're here.

- Let's go. - Hey, dads.

What's going on here?

- Melody, Lydia, I want to talk to you about something.

- Ooh, cookies!

- Can we go shopping this weekend?

- Ooh, I want to come.

- Oh, uh, me too.

- Me three. - What?

- Me four?

- Why are you all sitting like this?

What is this, an intervention or something?

- [laughs] - No!

That's so cute. - You're so silly.

- You're adorable. We would never--

[nervous chatter] --do an intervention.

There'd be better cookies, for one.

[nervous chatter]

That's a strong word, and I'm proud of you for that much.

I'm so proud of you. - Melody!

- OK.

- Hmm. OK, bye!

[door slams]

- See? This is what I told you.

They're trying out new behaviors

to assert who they are.

[crunching]

- Addison, incredible statement.

Uh, can I get a soundbite about what wearing your flaws

means to you?

- Of course.

I just wanted to put a spotlight

on this very human condition.

- You're so brave.

- They have no idea we made it, do they?

- None whatsoever.

- [sighs]

[gentle music]

Well, we may not be any closer to popularity--

- But we did make Addison more popular.

And we learned to chase your own idea of cool,

and not someone else's.

- All scientists fail.

It took the Wright brothers 1,000 tries

to get the plane right.

That means we have 999 tries to go.

- Hmm.

- Well, Julie, what would you rate this experiment?

- I give this experiment 8 catwalks out of 10.

Although, for the record, one is enough for me.

[both laugh]

- Wonder what experiment we'll do next.

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