Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

[footsteps clicking]

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

Let me set things up for you.

It's the future, like, two weeks from now.

Gas prices are at an all-time high.

Nobody drives anymore, not even truckers.

And a trucker who doesn't drive, well, you know.

And you know that saying,

"if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen"?

Well, people still say that.

But they don't drive cars.

And teenagers having sex in cars?

That still happens too, but in graveyards, car graveyards.

This is a story about a man who decided to change all that.

It's a story about his invention.

It's a story about society.

It's a story about you.

[chips rustling]

[chip crunching]

[chips crunching]

[footsteps clicking]

[lively orchestral music]

[title whooshes]

[title thuds]

[man] Oh, yeah!

- Yeah! - Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah, fucking bone me!

Yeah!

Oh, yeah, you're getting boned, baby!

Yeah!

[moaning]

[text whooshes]

[gentle piano music]

[Archie] Then, the Little Blue Engine began to pull.

She tugged and she pulled, she pulled and she tugged.

Puff puff, chug chug went the little engine.

"I think I can, I think I can," she said.

Slowly, slowly, the train started to move.

The dolls and toys began to smile and clap.

Puff puff, chug chug.

Up the mountain went the Little Blue Engine.

And all the time, she kept saying,

"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can."

Up, up, up.

The little engine climbed and climbed.

At last, she reached the top of the mountain.

Down below lay the city.

"Hurray, hurray!" cried the dolls and animals.

"The boys and girls will be so happy," said the toy clown,

"all because you helped us, Little Blue Engine."

The Little Blue Engine just smiled.

[school bell rings]

[students chattering]

[door clacks, creaks]

[door thuds]

[bicycle whirring]

[lively piano music]

Hi, Archie.

Hello, Lorraine.

Doing all right?

Oh, you know, just here.

You know?

How's your wheatgrass car coming along?

Yeah, it's coming along, I guess.

That's a great shirt.

It's really funny.

Just need some more wheatgrass today.

Did you get a new bike?

No, I didn't.

Two dollars, right?

Really, it looks different.

Maybe it got a new haircut.

What?

I was just making a joke.

Yeah.

Yeah.

- Bye, Lorraine. - [Lorraine] Yeah.

- Take it easy. - I'll see you later.

[bicycle whirring]

Hello, Mrs. Butterfield!

[birds chirping]

[wheatgrass juice splashing]

[lively piano music]

[electricity crackling]

[fan whirring]

Ah!

[fan rattles]

What?

[electricity crackling]

[hand thuds]

[Archie clapping]

[chalk scratching]

It all starts with you guys.

You can make the difference.

- [school bell rings] - [students chattering]

Don't forget about your letters.

You guys have a good day.

[bicycle whirring]

Hey, Archie.

What's up?

How was school?

Fine.

- I need more wheatgrass. - Hey, I thought of

a great idea for your wheatgrass engine.

What if you put pedals on it, like a bike?

Then, you could ride it like a bike.

It's just an idea that I had.

Two dollars?

Actually, it's two fifty.

Wheatgrass prices are going up.

Are you joking?

[Lorraine] No. No kidding.

But hey, for you, two dollars.

- Are you sure? - Of course.

You're only like my best customer.

[Archie] I appreciate it.

Hey, Archie, I was thinking,

would you want to maybe hang out some time?

I'd really like to see your wheatgrass engine.

It's just an idea, another one--

- I'm real busy. - That I had.

And it's a school night, I guess.

Yeah, it sure is.

Sometime though.

- Maybe. - [Lorraine] Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, when you're not so busy.

Sure.

Two dollars?

Yeah.

Hey Lorraine, got any more bags?

I'm all the fuck out.

[Lorraine] Yeah, I got some.

Is this your boyfriend?

Are you her boyfriend?

No.

- He's just my friend, Archie. - I'm just a customer.

You're always over here.

Why don't you come over to my stand, buy some meat?

I'm vegan.

He likes wheatgrass.

He's making a car, and it's gonna run on wheatgrass

'cause the gas prices are so--

Come on, you know you want some meat.

You know you want it.

I'm vegan.

Hey, Denise, don't steal all my customers.

[Lorraine chuckles]

She's so crazy.

[Archie] Yeah.

Here you go.

[bicycle whirring]

Hello, Mrs. Butterfield!

[marker scratching]

[Archie sighing]

What if you put pedals on it, like a bike?

Why don't you come over to my stand, buy some meat?

We looked at it.

We're pretty sure it's cancer or cancer.

[frenetic orchestral music]

[electricity crackles]

- [bottle smashes] - [Archie groans]

[blood drips]

[fan whirring]

[Archie] Yes, Jenny?

What is photosynthesis?

Well, no, Jenny.

We're talking about volcanoes, okay?

And I wish you would just stop raising your answers

in the form of a question, okay?

All right.

So next, we will...

Um.

Hmm.

Next, we will...

[clock ticking]

[school bell rings]

Hey, Archie.

Want some wheatgrass?

Yeah, yeah, wheatgrass, a gallon of it, now.

Wow, that's a lot.

Hey, what happened to your hand?

Listen, I don't have time to talk right now, really.

Okay, well, I...

[tarp rustles]

[keys jingling]

[Archie sighs]

Come on, come on, come on.

[engine rumbles]

[Archie laughs]

It works! It works!

Woo!

Oh.

[Archie groans]

[car horn honks]

[engine rumbling]

It works, Archie.

You got it to work?

More wheatgrass, Lorraine.

[Lorraine] Absolutely.

What did you do?

Blood, sweat, and tears, Lorraine.

That's all it takes.

This is amazing.

I am so happy for you.

Is this yours?

Yeah, that's mine.

What, did you win the fucking lottery or something?

Not literally.

Your boyfriend can afford gas, Lorraine.

That's quite a catch.

I'm not her boyfriend.

No?

Gosh, I'd give anything to ride in a car.

Sure, I can give you a ride.

What's your name?

Archie.

I'm Denise.

I love riding in cars.

What about the meat stand?

Meat sells itself, Lorraine.

I want to ride in a fucking car.

[car door thuds]

[engine rumbles]

[keyboard clacking]

[telephone beeping]

[agent] They're on the move.

They've got the car running.

Okay. Copy.

They're on the move. They've got the car running.

They're on the move. They've got the car running.

Video feed.

Copy.

[monitor buzzing]

[screen knocking]

It's coming.

Do you like my legs?

Oh.

I'm sorry, I was just--

It's okay.

I like you looking at them.

How fast does this thing go?

I'm not sure.

Well, let's see.

Well, I think we might run out of bloo-- uh...

I like to do the speed limit.

Okay, well, tell you what,

you go real fast, and I'll make it worth your while.

What does that mean, free meat?

Uh, I don't know.

Come on.

You know you want to do it.

- That's it. - [gears shifting]

[both] Oh! BJ!

[both grunting]

[Archie panting]

[Denise spits]

[Archie panting]

[engine sputtering]

- What's going on? - It's the car.

It's the car running out of fuel.

- That's too bad. - [Archie panting]

Will I get to see you again?

Sure.

I want to go to the drive-in tomorrow night.

Pick me up at nine, at the meat stand.

All right.

I guess I'll see you tomorrow.

Later.

[heels clicking]

[fan whirring]

[upbeat music]

[woman moaning]

Yeah!

- Oh, fuck yeah! - [wrench clicking]

[blades whooshing]

[bell tolling]

[triumphant music]

You can do this.

Think about what this means.

You're not eating the meat.

You're using it for good.

For good.

[squirrel squeaking]

Believe what you say.

Believe what you say.

- [gun fires] - [squirrel squeaking]

Oh, god.

I'm so sorry, squirrel.

I promise, I won't eat you.

You'll be fuel.

I'm sorry.

[dog whining]

[dog barking]

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

Man, you've got to do it.

God, I'm losing it.

- [gun fires] - [dog whimpers]

[gun clacking]

[dog whining]

- [gun fires] - [dog barks]

[dog whimpering]

[gun fires]

- [dog whimpering] - [gun clacking]

- [gun fires] - [dog yelps]

- [gun clacking] - [dog whimpering]

- [gun fires] - [dog barks]

- [gun clacking] - [dog whimpering]

- [dog squeals] - Come on!

[dog whimpering]

- [gun fires] - [dog yelps]

[bag rustles]

[gentle guitar music]

[Archie sobbing]

[dog whines]

[dog panting]

[cat mews]

- [gun thuds] - [blood spatters]

- [bird squawks] - [bird fluttering]

[car door thuds]

[keys jingling]

[engine whirring]

Come on, come on, come on.

[engine whirring]

No.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

Come on, come on, come on.

[Archie sighs]

Fuck, no!

Fuck! Come on, work, you motherfucker!

[engine whirring]

Shit, shit, shit, shit.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

No!

Work, you motherfucker!

Shit!

Motherfucker!

Huh?!

Work!

Do you want to pollute the atmosphere?!

Do you want to give kids asthma?!

Work!

Work!

Oh, god.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Butterfield!

I'm sorry about the noise!

Mrs. Butterfield?

Butterfield?

Mrs. Butterfield, I'm sorry.

Mrs. Butterfield?

Mrs. Butterfield, are you asleep?

Oh, no.

[lively orchestral music]

- [leaves rustling] - [body thuds]

[keys jingling]

[car door thuds]

[engine rumbles]

[engine roars]

[engine growling]

[Archie sighs]

I forgot the wheatgrass.

[lively orchestral music]

[upbeat rock music]

[window thumping]

[Archie moaning]

Whew.

[Archie panting]

Oh, wow.

I've never had sex in a car before.

[Denise] Look at these fucking people.

Just look at them, on their goddamn blankets,

like they're laying next to the fucking ocean,

with their little radios and dreams.

People aren't supposed to go to the drive-in

and cum in a sleeping bag, Bradley.

Archie.

[Denise] They're supposed to fuck in cars.

I want to sit up here and look down on them.

I want to know that right now, I'm better than they are.

And they can say whatever they want and stare and point.

The fact is, I'm in the front seat of a car,

tackling a rod like a princess,

and they're dry humping through a double feature.

Take me to the playground.

[birds chirping]

[students shouting]

[Archie] "To look at it," said the sergeant-major,

fumbling in his pocket,

"it's just an ordinary little paw, dried to a mummy."

"It had a spell put on it by an old fakir,"

said the sergeant-major, "a very holy man."

He wanted to show that fate ruled people's lives

and that those that interfered

with it did so to their sorrow.

That's a cool bike.

You want to suck on each other's junk later?

Hey, Lorraine. Can I get a soy-puccino?

Yeah, you want some wheatgrass?

- No, that's all. - [blender whirring]

Well, what's your car gonna run on?

Huh?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Give me a dollar's worth.

You know, I was thinking about this solar eclipse that...

Hey, Bradley, this is Paul.

[Archie] Hey, I'm Archie.

Yeah, I'm Rick.

[engine rumbling]

Who's that guy?

Who cares?

Can you pick me up at nine?

Well, I don't know if I can.

I mean, the fuel--

That was Paul, with the motorcycle.

He'll be here at 9:10.

Oh, okay.

All right, yeah, I'll be here.

Sure.

Sure. Nine!

[Archie slurps]

[crickets chirping]

It's no big thing.

I just need a little blood.

[computer beeping]

He's looking for fuel.

[door clacks]

[carjacker] Start driving, motherfucker!

Oh! Okay!

The fuck wrong with you?

What you doing, window-shopping in the ghetto?

No.

I was just thinking.

Wrong part of town to be thinking here, motherfucker.

Probably thinking about buying some pussy.

Keep driving.

- [static crackling] - What are you doing?

Shut the fuck up!

Think I get to ride around in cars,

listen to the radio and shit?!

Do you?! Fuck no, I don't!

Do you want to just take the car?

Shut the fuck up and drive, nigga.

You can take the car.

What sense that make, huh?

You got maybe an eighth of a tank.

If I take this car and drive and run out of gas,

what am I gonna do, fill it up?

What, this is a 12-gallon tank, ain't it?

I don't know.

What size, motherfucker?

- I don't-- - Ten-gallon?

Twelve-gallon?

- What?! - Yeah, 12.

Twelve gallons. I'm positive, it's 12.

Why you just didn't say that?

I don't know. I don't know.

It's like 12 gallons at $35.50,

about $36 a gallon.

If I fill it up, it's like $450.

- Now, I can't- - No, it's not quite 400--

Yes, it is, nigga!

It's like 440 or 450!

Do the math!

I did the math, that's incorrect.

What?!

You got a calculator?

- Give me a calculator. - No, I don't have

a calculator.

I have a pencil.

- Will that work? - What?

"Will that work"?

Hell yeah, it'll work.

Think a nigga can't do his timetables and shit?

[paper rustling]

Well, at 36 a gallon, it's pretty damn close.

But not quite, right?

Well, pull into this motherfucking gas station,

and let's fill this bitch up, man.

♪ All, all ♪

♪ Is it 'cause I'm from the ghetto ♪

♪ Stay drunk, never mellow ♪

♪ Keeping those pushing fellow, OG acapella ♪

♪ Nine millimeter, rider selling crack ♪

Start pumping.

Listen, I didn't want to say,

but I have some gas in the trunk.

Oh, hold the fuck up.

Probably got more than that in the motherfucking trunk.

Probably got a motherfucking pistol or shotgun

or something in the motherfucking trunk.

Listen, we're gonna fill this motherfucker up,

we're gonna ride a fucking tank of gas out of here,

and you're gonna drop me off at the motherfucking house.

Now, don't try no motherfucking shit.

No, no, no, I didn't--

Give me the goddamn motherfucking keys, motherfucker.

What's in the trunk, man?

What's in the goddamn trunk?

- Just gas! - Let's me see what's in this motherfucker.

Hold still, motherfucker.

You trying to hide something?

- [car roaring] - Shit!

Damn!

- [thuds] - [carjacker groans]

[body thuds]

[car rumbling]

[carjacker] Oh! What the fuck?!

- [bell jingles] - What the fuck is this?!

What the fuck you doing?!

Open up, motherfucker!

Let me out of this motherfucking trunk!

Oh, goddamn!

I've got a gun, motherfucker!

[gun fires]

I am goddamn out of bullets here, man!

You have to help me!

Help me!

Help me!

Help me!

- [carjacker screams] - Hey, what's going on?

[carjacker] Help me, motherfucker!

- [engine rumbles] - [engine roars]

[blood spraying]

[attendant] Jesus.

[Archie] Oh, my god.

I am so sorry, sir.

I am so sorry.

Look, come on, I got to know

what that colored boy's doing in this trunk.

He didn't feel well, so he wanted to get in the trunk--

Don't bullshit me. Open this trunk now.

Okay.

[lock clicking]

[lock clacks]

[door creaks]

[attendant] Hey! Son of a bitch, stop it!

What are you...

Goddammit. Son of a bitch, stop it!

[frenetic orchestral music]

Hey! Help me!

Oh, god!

Christ almighty, I just killed two people!

Oh, god!

Oh, god, I'm gonna go to jail!

Gosh! Fuck, she's not even here!

God!

Oh, god! Oh, Christ!

What am I doing?! I'm a kindergarten teacher!

What am I doing?!

Oh, my god!

[Archie groans]

Just turn yourself in.

Turn yourself in, Archie.

You're a vegan.

I'm a vegan.

You don't do this!

Remember the fucking...

Oh, god!

Goddammit!

- Oh, fuck, she's not even here! - Hey.

- Where is-- - Right on time.

I'm always on time.

[Denise sighs]

Put a taco in my mouth and your dick in my ass.

What kind of tacos do you want?

What's going on?

He just killed two people,

and now they're going out for tacos.

[agent 2] All right.

Just maintain surveillance.

Keep close, you know, all that.

You check this message?

No. Mm-mm.

[lively music]

Thanks, Poncho Villa.

After you get that, why don't you bring us

a couple margaritas and two shots of tequila?

Listen, Denise, it is a school night for me.

I shouldn't get too many drinks in me.

Well, it's a meat stand night for me,

and you don't hear me whining.

What, you're in school?

I'm a teacher.

Elementary school.

Ugh, you teach children?

They give me the creeps.

I never really liked them.

No, they're nice.

Come on.

Batter up there, Professor.

No, I shouldn't.

Come on.

You can't fuck in the bathroom

of a Mexican restaurant sober.

So kill that shot and cannonball that 'rita.

[Denise exhales]

Come on.

Drinky drinky.

I got to piss.

[door creaks]

[woman] Psst.

[door creaks]

- [Archie moans] - Yeah, fuck that pussy!

Fuck that pussy!

Yeah!

[upbeat music]

Yeah!

Why can't I just take you home?

Uh-uh.

I'm sick of stalkers.

Goddamn sick of them.

And if I don't let you buy me food

and stick your tongue in my ass,

you'll be in the bushes with the rest of them.

Crying and whacking off every time you get two beers in you.

Shit, you'd probably write poetry.

I'm not like that.

Yeah, right, sissy.

I bet you write sonnets and all that shit.

No. I mean I'm not a stalker.

Well, you're not actually a stalker

until you stalk somebody.

So why don't think about that

when you go home and write haikus about my box.

[Archie sighs]

[handle rattling]

No.

[upbeat music]

[door clacks]

[door creaks]

[door thuds]

[key clatters]

[Denise] Oh, wow, we made a mess, didn't we?

[Archie] Yes.

Yes, we did, Denise.

[Denise] What would you do for it?

[Archie] For what?

[Denise] For this, fucker.

[Archie] Oh, that?

[Denise] Yeah, this.

Would you steal for it?

[Archie] Yeah, I might.

[Denise] Would you lie?

[Archie] Sure, I'd lie.

[Denise] Would you beat someone up?

[Archie] Yeah, I'd beat them up.

[Denise] Would you kill?

[Archie] What?

[Denise] Would you kill someone for it?

Yes.

[frenetic orchestral music]

[engine whirs]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Hey, there!

[veteran] Hey.

How are you?

Oh, I'm okay.

I'm okay.

Hey, can you spare some change for some food?

Oh, yeah. Sure, I can.

[bill rustling]

Oh, thanks.

[Archie] You say you need some food?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

I'm really hungry.

Well, I was gonna drive to a diner and eat.

Would you like to join me?

Drive?

You drive?

Hey, did you leave that car running over there like that?

Yeah. Yeah, I did.

It's a little embarrassing.

Oh, hell.

You must be made out of money to walk off

and leave a car running like that.

Yeah, I'll go eat with you.

Okay, great. Great.

You want to ride in the car?

Oh, ride in a car and eat fancy and all that?

[veteran chuckles]

I might need a tie.

[both laughing]

Yeah, you might. Might.

[lock clicking]

[lock clacks]

[Archie] If I put your wheelchair in the trunk, will that be okay?

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

You gonna let me get in the car first?

I can't walk there with plastic legs.

You have plastic legs?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

And a plastic arm.

I wear them 'cause I don't feel like half a man.

- Yeah, that makes sense. - Wait, wait a minute.

- Don't be alarmed. - No, wait, wait.

No, no, no, no, not in here.

Oh, come on.

- No! - It's all one car.

What the fuck are you doing? Stop!

- No! - You're being a hero.

No!

- You'll be a hero again. - Stop it, goddammit!

- Get away from me! - Follow orders!

- Follow orders! - Stop it!

- Goddammit! - What?

- No! - What?

- Cut it out! - Just ride in the trunk.

Fuck you!

- Goddammit! - [prosthetic leg thudding]

[frenetic orchestral music]

[engine rumbles]

[firefighters mimicking siren wailing]

Ugh, god.

I needed a whole person.

[mellow music]

Can I get a lift?

Nice car.

You rich or something?

No, not really.

It's not that nice of a car, really.

Well, you can gas it up.

That's something.

I think it has a flat tire.

What?

Uh, no.

No flat tire.

Yeah?

No, I think it does.

I think it's got a flat.

Um, I don't think so, no.

No flat. Mm-mm.

I better get the spare out of the trunk.

Why? You don't have a flat tire.

This car has nowhere near a flat.

- You know, a flat sounds like-- - So what kind

of work do you do?

Work?

Yeah, you know, work.

None. No work, really.

Then what do you do?

Well, I was in school and I was dating Rick.

And things were going so good until Cheryl's party,

- but all I really want to do-- - I'm in the candy business.

And the makeup business.

Mm, okay, that's cool.

Why makeup?

I don't know.

Got a whole trunk full of makeup.

Mm.

Makeup and candy in the trunk.

Makeup and candy both in the trunk.

Okay, you're starting to freak me out a little.

What's your trunk deal?

Really? God, I'm sorry.

I'm just no good at this.

At what?

Giving away puppies.

Puppies? You have puppies in the trunk?

Yeah. I'm not gonna let them crawl all over the place.

What? Pull over!

Oh, my god, I can't believe you have puppies in the trunk.

All right.

Come on.

Hurry up, I bet they really can't breathe.

Sure they can.

No.

[lock clicking]

[lock clacks]

[woman screams]

What did you do to the...

No! No!

- [trunk thudding] - Please, let me out!

[woman screams]

[woman] Somebody help!

- Puppies. - Please!

You just killed that girl with puppies.

[woman screams]

Things are changing, man.

- Get it together. - Please let me out of here!

Let me out of this car!

[engine rumbles]

[woman screams]

[baton thuds]

Who are you guys?

Who do we look like?

[cellphone rings]

Yeah?

[agent chuckles]

I know, right?

Yeah.

[agent chuckles]

No.

No, but what do you want us to do with the teacher?

Oh.

No, it's great. No, it's great.

I love this shit, man. That's why I took the job.

Yeah. All right.

[agent chuckles]

Yeah, fuck you too.

Fuck you too, bitch. Call the cops.

[agent chuckles]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no.

All right.

I'll talk to you later, Tom.

In a few. Yeah.

What about using the codename?

Someone could have the line tapped.

Who taps phone lines besides us?

Who?

Explain it to me, I don't understand.

'Cause I really don't.

Okay. The Russians.

The Russians?

What year is it on your planet?

You suck.

You're an idiot.

Okay, then, suicide bombers.

Suicide bombers?

You know, they're the excuse for everything?

"Oh, I'm sorry, we couldn't give you

that raise we promised you.

You know, suicide bombers."

"Oh, we had to raise the deductible on your health plan.

You know, suicide bombers."

"You want snacks in the break room?

Oh, I'm sorry, had to cut back.

Suicide bombers."

Makes no sense.

Makes no goddam sense, you motherfucker.

Are we taking the teacher back to headquarters?

Oh, shit, I forgot about him.

No, we shoot him.

[kick thuds]

What the fuck? What's wrong with you, man?

He's driving.

Kick me, huh?

[kick thuds]

[elbow thuds]

[head thuds]

Agent down. Great.

What do we do?

Just put him in the trunk, and get back here.

Thought that guy was your friend?

I fucking hate that guy.

Hm.

[frenetic orchestral music]

[lock clacks]

What are you doing?

[engine rumbles]

- [fan whirring] - [agent screaming]

Oh!

Oh, god!

[agent sighs]

Hey, Archie.

You want some wheatgrass?

No, not really.

Hey, don't be so glum.

Yeah, you're right.

You should be happy, I got something for you.

What's this?

It's an all-natural organic candy bar.

[wrapper rips]

This is terrible.

I know.

It sucks.

Why did you give this to me?

Yeah, they suck.

[Lorraine chuckles]

[Lorraine groans]

Ah, quit it!

[Lorraine chuckles]

Not too funny now, huh?

[Lorraine chuckles]

Was the meat stand open today?

Yeah, for a little while,

but then Denise closed early and took off somewhere.

[Archie] Oh, okay.

[Lorraine] She stand you up?

No. No, why?

I don't know.

She didn't stand me up.

[Lorraine] Okay.

Hey, Archie.

How come you stopped buying wheatgrass

for the wheatgrass car?

I just don't.

I was so excited when I saw it running.

Yeah, so was I.

I mean, I worked real hard on it.

Yeah, but I was excited because I thought it might mean

you'd come by and see me more.

I thought you'd need wheatgrass all the time.

I'm sorry, Lorraine.

I've been real busy.

But you still drive the car.

It's complicated, Lorraine.

Explain it to me.

You're a teacher.

[Archie] It's not that easy.

Does the car run on meat, Archie?

No, Lorraine, it doesn't run on meat.

Promise?

I promise.

Okay.

Hey.

What?

You want to go for a ride?

You think you can come over here

and pick me up right after you realize

your little meat-slinging slut is off with somebody else?

Is that what you think of me?

No, no.

I'm sorry, Lorraine.

I'm sorry.

Oh, hey.

Quit being such a dork.

Let me get my bag.

So what do you want to do?

I don't know. What do you and Denise do?

[lively music]

Uh, nothing special.

I love this car, Archie.

I need to clean it a little bit.

I think it's lovely.

Yeah.

Do you want to go get a bite to eat or something?

I'd love that.

Steakhouse?

I love that.

I love steakhouse, Archie.

No, you don't.

[Lorraine sighs]

Oh, you're right.

[Lorraine chuckles]

Cut it out, Lorraine.

Cut it.

I'm sorry.

I'm just nervous.

I'm nervous all the time.

No, you're not.

Yeah, I am.

You're nervous right now?

Yeah, I'm a little nervous.

What makes you nervous?

It's just you and me.

Maybe I'm just hungry.

Well, eat.

You want to go to my apartment and get some food?

Yes.

Okay.

Archie's, it is.

[upbeat music]

Well, this is Archie's.

Chez Archie.

[both chuckling]

This is my kitchen.

Oh, this is my lab.

- Wow. - Yeah, the wheatgrass engine

I told you all about.

That's it, right there.

This is where you do your work.

Mm-hm. Yeah.

Like I've always imagined.

You know my bike.

Do you want some wheatgrass juice or anything or...

Whoa! Whoa!

[Lorraine moaning]

[upbeat music]

[shower running]

[button clicks]

[Denise] Hey, vegan boy.

Don't pick me up at the meat stand.

I'm leaving work early and I'll be at Fat Matt's rib shack.

Don't be late.

[answering machine beeps]

[engine rumbles]

[tires screeching]

Hey!

[shower running]

- [Lorraine yelps] - [body thuds]

[Lorraine] Archie!

Archie!

It's my neck.

Archie!

[Lorraine sobbing]

[engine sputtering]

Oh, no, we're out of gas.

Ah, blood.

Dammit!

Get in the trunk.

Fuck that.

Do it for your country.

Don't wave your flag at me.

I just work here.

Get in the trunk.

Why don't you just shoot that guy?

You know I can't do that.

Get in the trunk.

[gun fires]

[frenetic orchestral music]

[Archie panting]

[Archie panting]

[Archie panting]

[engine rumbles]

- [blood spraying] - [Archie groaning]

[Archie screaming]

Uh-uh.

[Archie screaming]

[engine sputtering]

[gentle orchestral music]

All right, son, let's talk this out, huh?

'Cause I don't know if you've ever been shot,

but I've got to tell you, it hurts like fuck!

[agent chuckles]

And I will shoot you!

All right, come on, man, why don't you just come out here?

We'll sit down, we'll talk about it out,

we'll figure something out.

I mean, I don't have to hurt you.

I mean, trust me, I won't fucking hesitate,

but I don't have to hurt you.

Dammit. Where is he?

[Archie screams]

[agent screams]

Son of a bitch!

[agent screams]

Fuck!

[agent screams]

Oh, god!

[agent screams]

[Archie grunts]

[agent screaming]

[body thuds]

[door thuds]

[Archie panting]

Oh!

Oh, god.

- Look at the time. - Hello?!

- Look at the time. - [agent groaning]

I got to meet Denise.

[agent groaning]

Yeah, okay.

That's nice.

That's nice.

Yeah.

[agent sobbing]

Nice one.

[engine rumbles]

[tires screeching]

[crickets chirping]

[bell jingles]

[Denise] Whoa.

Could have hit the showers before coming out.

No big deal. Just clean up a little.

You working on the car or something?

Rough day?

Me too.

Want some barbecue?

[Archie] Barbecue?

I love eating barbecue after a bad day.

No place on Earth filled with more sad, depressed,

fat-necked fuckers than a barbecue joint.

Look at them.

Pathetic.

Motherfuckers.

[waitress] What can I get you?

I'll have the number four rib plate, double slaw.

Look at them... pathetic.

I need some barbecue, Denise.

I need some barbecue right now.

Right now. BBQ.

Barbecue?

Barbecue?

Barbecue? I'm vegan.

I'm vegan.

[Denise] Sorry, but he's fucking trashed.

What are you doing?

I'm vegan!

Holy shit, you are fucked the fuck up.

[Archie] No, I'm not!

I'm fine!

I'm fine! Please, come here!

Give me a couple more beers so I can handle this fucker.

Vegan fatso!

[waitress] Rib plate number four?

[Denise] Keep it up. They're not gonna kick us out.

- [Archie grunting] - Oh, come on.

Why didn't you fucking order?

[Archie] I wanted this for so long, Denise.

- Motherfucker. - I wanted this for so long.

He's fucking wrecked.

What the fuck?

- Hey, what are you doing? - I'm a vegan!

Look, I'm vegan!

I'm vegan.

[Archie laughs]

[lively music]

♪ The morn, you awoke with songs in your life ♪

♪ You barely feel that you are still alive ♪

♪ Your dreams told the story of hanging the horses ♪

♪ Kicking the dust that you could not have known ♪

[birds chirping]

That was really great, Archie.

You're a great driver.

Archie, do you want to take me home?

We can stay at my house.

We can stay in bed all day tomorrow, and do nasty things.

Would you like that, Archie?

Oh, god.

I've got to go to school.

Oh, come on, you can skip school.

No.

I don't do that.

I don't skip school.

Taking you to the playground.

Fine.

Stupid, fucking stinking, shit-headed,

dick-sucking child molester.

- [door clacks] - [chair scraping]

Okay, class, I've got a very special story for us today,

one that I've never read before, not to any class.

We're all humans, right?

Tyler, you're a human.

Dawson, you're a human.

Tonya's a human.

Even your teacher, Mr. Andrews, is a human.

And we all have rights.

Yes, we do.

This story is called "Tibet: The Land That Cried."

[door clacks]

Let's go.

Did you steal my car?

[hand slaps]

No, we crashed it.

Kids, I'll be back in one second, okay?

Just have to go see another teacher for a minute, okay?

Archie Andrews, right?

That's funny.

My name is Watkins.

Donald Watkins.

You're a schoolteacher, right?

I'm the head of something very important.

Government important.

Let's cut straight to the chase.

You've invented, what we've been calling

in official documents, a blood car.

You beat us when we didn't play fair,

so now we've all agreed to act civil.

Civility.

Civilian.

The Civil War?

They all start the same way Archie.

Civil War was started over people using other people,

black people, as servants,

not really like humans but like animals,

to pull carts and plant vegetables.

You know all about vegetables, don't you?

It's a good idea, but it didn't work.

The vegetable for the car thing.

Slavery didn't work either, but that's 'cause it was racist.

Killing people for fuel is not racist.

It's patriotic.

It's all about making a sacrifice to fuel our cars,

mow our grass, grill our steaks,

if you're not a charcoal man, that is.

Sure, it came down to us and the Russians,

like everything else, and we've beaten them.

You've beaten them.

Us has beaten them.

Us.

Spell it out, Archie.

U-S.

The US.

No other nation can say that,

not even in their native tongue.

Outer space is uncharted territory,

no matter what they told you about Columbus.

And the planets just keep getting closer

the farther we get away from Antarctic oil drilling,

hard-boiled potatoes used in apple pies, the Euro,

and tarantulas, deadly tarantulas,

for sale in vending machines.

Do you understand what I'm saying to you?

We need you to build another blood-powered engine.

We need your help.

We need another blood car.

We need blood trucks, blood tanks,

blood planes, and blood lawnmowers.

We need your work to continue.

We can't duplicate it.

We don't even understand how it works in the first place,

how it could possibly work in the first place, but it does.

We can't just release this to the public.

No one wants hysteria, riots, mass graves.

You don't mix milk chocolate and peanuts on your own,

you leave it to the pros, and reap the benefits.

What do you say?

Where will the blood come from?

Vagrants, terminal cases,

criminals, general riff-raff, and trash.

You'll get a new name, new life.

All this trouble that has happened will disappear

along with any trace that you ever existed.

I guess I don't have a choice.

Not really.

If you don't come with us, you'll be on trial for murder.

I see.

It will be like I never existed.

Like you were never born.

What about all the people who know me?

[Donald] They just forget about you.

- [gun firing] - [students screaming]

[woman moaning]

[guns firing]

- [Lorraine screaming] - [fire roaring]

[Archie sighs]

That sounds like it could work.

It's working already.

[gun fires]

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, man.

You can have whatever you want.

[gun fires]

What do you want?

Mayor?

Governor?

Senator?

President.

[vacuum whirring]

What country?

[upbeat music]