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All language subtitles for s04e09 Keeping Up Appearances - 19_Angel_Gabriel_Blue

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,434 --> 00:00:05,701 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:40,667 --> 00:00:44,100 IT WAS SO KIND OF YOU TO COME AT SHORT NOTICE, VICAR. 3 00:00:44,167 --> 00:00:46,567 NOT AT ALL, MRS. BUCK-- 4 00:00:46,634 --> 00:00:49,534 BUCKFAST ABBEY IS A PLACE I'VE NEVER BEEN TO. 5 00:00:49,601 --> 00:00:52,601 BUCKFAST ABBEY? OH, YEAH. 6 00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:56,334 OH, WE MUST VISIT. I'LL ORGANIZE A LITTLE OUTING. 7 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,734 - I CAN'T. - CAN'T? 8 00:00:58,801 --> 00:01:02,467 ...TELL YOU WHAT THAT WOULD MEAN TO ME, MRS. "BOUQUET." 9 00:01:04,167 --> 00:01:07,000 THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR, VICAR. 10 00:01:14,067 --> 00:01:16,767 - OH, INCIDENTALLY... - ( gasps ) 11 00:01:16,834 --> 00:01:19,934 I'M SORRY I HAD TO ASK YOU TO REMOVE YOUR SHOES. 12 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,467 I USUALLY ONLY INSIST ON TRADESMEN DOING THAT, 13 00:01:22,534 --> 00:01:24,467 BUT AS YOU'VE PROBABLY NOTICED 14 00:01:24,534 --> 00:01:26,701 WE'VE JUST HAD OUR HERRINGBONE RELAQUERED. 15 00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:29,834 - I'M SORRY. - OH, PLEASE, DON'T BE. 16 00:01:29,901 --> 00:01:32,334 ALTHOUGH IT'S A VERY EXPENSIVE PROCESS, 17 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,400 IT ONLY NEEDS TO BE DONE OCCASIONALLY. 18 00:01:36,567 --> 00:01:39,367 OH, YOUR FLOOR, THE WOODBLOCK. 19 00:01:39,434 --> 00:01:41,767 THAT'S RIGHT. 20 00:01:43,267 --> 00:01:46,734 IT HAS A TENDENCY TO LOOSE ITS GLOSS. 21 00:01:46,801 --> 00:01:49,968 I OFTEN WONDER WHETHER HER MAJESTY HAS THE SAME PROBLEM. 22 00:01:50,033 --> 00:01:52,701 ( phone rings ) - OH. 23 00:01:52,767 --> 00:01:55,534 THAT'LL BE SOMEONE IMPORTANT. 24 00:01:55,601 --> 00:01:57,567 I DOUBT IF IT'S HER MAJESTY 25 00:01:57,634 --> 00:01:59,834 AS SHE'LL BE ON HER WAY TO SANDRINGHAM, BY NOW. 26 00:01:59,901 --> 00:02:03,367 BUT I EXPECT IT'S SOMEONE ELSE VERY SENIOR. 27 00:02:03,434 --> 00:02:05,934 PLEASE EXCUSE ME. 28 00:02:16,767 --> 00:02:20,634 THE "BOUQUET" RESIDENCE, THE LADY OF THE HOUSE SPEAKING. 29 00:02:20,701 --> 00:02:22,567 NO YOU CANNOT HAVE A NUMBER 41 30 00:02:22,634 --> 00:02:24,634 WITH NOODLES INSTEAD OF RICE. 31 00:02:26,133 --> 00:02:29,200 DO I SOUND LIKE THE GREEN LOTUS? 32 00:02:29,267 --> 00:02:32,033 WHAT DO YOU MEAN "SOUNDS MORE LIKE THE GREEN DRAGON"? 33 00:02:33,567 --> 00:02:35,667 LOOK, I MUST WARN YOU, 34 00:02:35,734 --> 00:02:37,901 YOU'RE SPEAKING TO A WHITE SLIMLINE TELEPHONE 35 00:02:37,968 --> 00:02:40,033 WITHIN THE PRECINCTS OF A CLERGYMAN. 36 00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:43,534 AND A VERY MERRY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO YOU, TOO. 37 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,234 OH, VICAR, DON'T TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES. 38 00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:56,234 I'M SURE HYACINTH WON'T EXPECT YOU TO DO THAT. 39 00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:58,133 HELLO, ELIZABETH, 40 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,167 I'M NOT ARRIVING, I'M JUST LEAVING. 41 00:03:00,234 --> 00:03:02,133 AND SHE DID? 42 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:04,601 YES, SHE DID. 43 00:03:04,667 --> 00:03:08,334 - OH, DEAR. - IT'S A HERRINGBONE, APPARENTLY. 44 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,601 - IT'S BEEN RELAQUERED. - OH, I SEE. 45 00:03:11,667 --> 00:03:13,467 IT WAS NO PROBLEM. 46 00:03:13,534 --> 00:03:17,467 WITH HYACINTH I ALWAYS FEEL I'M WALKING ON EGGS, ANYWAY. 47 00:03:17,534 --> 00:03:20,701 I CAN NEVER GET THE HANG OF THE BUCKET "BOUQUET" THING. 48 00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,701 I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. 49 00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,267 WITH ME IT'S COFFEE. 50 00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:26,300 OH, I CAN SAY "COFFEE." 51 00:03:26,367 --> 00:03:28,534 NO, NO, NO, I CAN SAY "COFFEE," 52 00:03:28,601 --> 00:03:30,901 IT'S JUST THAT I CAN'T HOLD IT STILL. 53 00:03:30,968 --> 00:03:33,634 IT LEAPS ABOUT IN HYACINTH'S. 54 00:03:33,701 --> 00:03:37,400 NEVER HAPPENS ANYWHERE ELSE. 55 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,234 - MORNING, VICAR. - GOOD MORNING. 56 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,133 YOU, TOO, RICHARD? 57 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,634 OH, YES, I ONCE LEFT A MARK ON THE WOODBLOCK. 58 00:03:52,701 --> 00:03:56,033 IN 1968 I THINK IT WAS. 59 00:04:01,901 --> 00:04:04,167 AH, GOOD DAY TO YOU. 60 00:04:04,234 --> 00:04:07,133 I WISH TO SPEAK WITH YOUR EDITOR, PLEASE. 61 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,133 WHY? 62 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:12,033 BECAUSE I HAVE CHOSEN TO FAVOR YOUR NEWSPAPER 63 00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:14,167 TO MAKE AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT. 64 00:04:14,234 --> 00:04:17,100 I NEED THE ADVERTISING DEPARTMENT? 65 00:04:17,167 --> 00:04:19,067 WELL, PUT ME THROUGH TO SOMEONE SENIOR 66 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,000 IN THE ADVERTISING DEPARTMENT. 67 00:04:21,067 --> 00:04:23,734 ENJOY YOUR WALK, DEAR? 68 00:04:23,801 --> 00:04:25,868 NOT REALLY, MY FOOT'S RATHER SORE. 69 00:04:25,934 --> 00:04:27,968 HOW NICE-- HELLO? 70 00:04:29,667 --> 00:04:32,267 IS THAT THE ADVERTISING DEPARTMENT? 71 00:04:32,334 --> 00:04:36,000 YES, WELL I WISH TO INSERT AN ANNOUNCEMENT. 72 00:04:38,033 --> 00:04:41,634 WHAT DO YOU MEAN "IS IT HATCH, MATCH OR DISPATCH"? 73 00:04:41,701 --> 00:04:44,167 OH, BIRTHS, MARRIAGES, OR DEATHS, I SEE. 74 00:04:44,234 --> 00:04:46,801 TRADE JARGON. ( laughs ) 75 00:04:46,868 --> 00:04:49,634 NO, IT'S NONE OF THOSE THINGS, 76 00:04:49,701 --> 00:04:52,334 NOR IS IT AN ENGAGEMENT ANNOUNCEMENT EITHER. 77 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,100 IT'S A FITTED KITCHEN. 78 00:04:55,167 --> 00:04:58,434 I'M PLANNING A NEW FITTED KITCHEN 79 00:04:58,501 --> 00:05:00,934 AND I WANT TO PRINT AN ANNOUNCEMENT 80 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,734 IN CASE I'VE OVERLOOKED TELLING ANY OF MY FRIENDS. 81 00:05:03,801 --> 00:05:05,968 IT'S ALL TOO EASY 82 00:05:06,033 --> 00:05:08,534 FOR PEOPLE TO FEEL NEGLECTED. 83 00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:10,300 YES. 84 00:05:10,367 --> 00:05:12,968 WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T PROVIDE FOR THAT KIND OF THING? 85 00:05:13,033 --> 00:05:15,167 YOU DO IT FOR BIRTHS, MARRIAGES AND DEATHS, 86 00:05:15,234 --> 00:05:18,467 SURELY YOU CAN DO IT FOR FITTED KITCHENS, 87 00:05:18,534 --> 00:05:20,968 DOWNMARKET TYPESETTER. 88 00:05:24,434 --> 00:05:27,033 YOU TRY AND BRING A LITTLE HAPPINESS INTO PEOPLE'S LIVES 89 00:05:27,100 --> 00:05:29,100 AND THEN YOU DON'T GET ANY COOPERATION. 90 00:05:29,167 --> 00:05:32,033 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS COUNTRY'S COMING TO. 91 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,834 RICHARD, WHY ARE YOU STARING AT YOUR FOOT? 92 00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:39,400 I'M SURE WELL-BRED PEOPLE 93 00:05:39,467 --> 00:05:41,767 DON'T STARE AT THEIR FEET. 94 00:05:41,834 --> 00:05:44,100 FINGERNAILS PERHAPS 95 00:05:44,167 --> 00:05:46,334 IN A RATHER REFINED SORT OF GESTURE, 96 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,267 BUT TOENAILS NEVER. 97 00:05:48,334 --> 00:05:50,634 IT'S VERY INNER-CITY TO STARE AT YOUR FEET. 98 00:05:51,868 --> 00:05:54,434 I'VE GOT ITCHY TOES. 99 00:05:54,501 --> 00:05:58,434 HMM? LIKE FRED ASTAIRE-- TORVILL AND DEAN? 100 00:05:58,501 --> 00:06:00,868 DON'T BE SILLY, RICHARD. 101 00:06:00,934 --> 00:06:04,100 YOU CAN'T START A CAREER AS A DANCER AT YOUR TIME OF LIFE. 102 00:06:04,167 --> 00:06:06,267 NOT THAT KIND OF ITCHY TOES. 103 00:06:06,334 --> 00:06:08,467 I MEAN THE IRRITATING KIND. 104 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,767 I THINK I'LL LET THE DOCTOR HAVE A LOOK. 105 00:06:10,834 --> 00:06:12,767 OH, RICHARD, 106 00:06:12,834 --> 00:06:14,767 IF YOU MUST GO TO THE DOCTOR, 107 00:06:14,834 --> 00:06:17,000 COULDN'T YOU GO WITH SOMETHING NICER? 108 00:06:19,501 --> 00:06:22,367 AND PLEASE PUT THAT AWAY IN MY KITCHEN. 109 00:06:23,601 --> 00:06:26,701 WHY-- WHY WAS THE VICAR HERE? 110 00:06:26,767 --> 00:06:29,133 HE CAME BECAUSE I CALLED HIM. 111 00:06:30,567 --> 00:06:32,601 I NEEDED HIS ADVICE. 112 00:06:32,667 --> 00:06:34,467 ABOUT WHAT? 113 00:06:34,534 --> 00:06:38,000 I HAD TO CONSULT HIM ABOUT A COLOR I HAVE IN MIND 114 00:06:38,067 --> 00:06:40,400 FOR MY NEW KITCHEN WORK SURFACES. 115 00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:44,400 AND FOR THAT YOU NEEDED THE VICAR'S HELP? 116 00:06:44,467 --> 00:06:46,501 OH, RICHARD. 117 00:06:46,567 --> 00:06:48,501 WHEN YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE 118 00:06:48,567 --> 00:06:50,934 BETWEEN ANGEL GABRIEL BLUE AND LUCIFER GRAY, 119 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,033 YOU NEED A SPIRITUAL ADVISOR. 120 00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,434 OH, I SEE. 121 00:06:56,501 --> 00:06:59,701 I HAD TO HAVE THE VICAR'S CONFIRMATION 122 00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:02,667 THAT THIS IS ANGEL GABRIEL BLUE. 123 00:07:12,467 --> 00:07:14,400 COME ON, YOU TWO. 124 00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:16,634 IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU WERE UP. 125 00:07:19,467 --> 00:07:22,367 OH, IT'S A REALLY LOVELY SUNNY DAY. 126 00:07:22,434 --> 00:07:25,367 YEAH, I RECKON THE GOING'S GOOD TO FIRM. 127 00:07:26,767 --> 00:07:29,033 ONSLOW, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME 128 00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:32,167 YOU THOUGHT ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN HORSE RACING? 129 00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:35,434 OH, IT MUST BE AT LEAST FOUR MONTHS, NOW. 130 00:07:37,801 --> 00:07:40,534 NOW, DON'T YOU START! 131 00:07:40,601 --> 00:07:42,534 WOULDN'T IT BE LOVELY 132 00:07:42,601 --> 00:07:45,701 IF THERE WERE FIELDS AND HILLS OUT THERE 133 00:07:45,767 --> 00:07:48,267 INSTEAD OF JUST GROTTY LITTLE HOUSES? 134 00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:50,367 THEY'RE ONLY THE SAME AS THIS ONE. 135 00:07:50,434 --> 00:07:52,434 EXACTLY. 136 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,400 I LIKE THE COUNTRYSIDE. 137 00:07:56,467 --> 00:07:57,767 OH, SO DO I. 138 00:07:57,834 --> 00:08:01,601 I'VE HAD SOME LOVELY TIMES IN THE COUNTRY. 139 00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:04,501 I BET YOU WOULDN'T RECOGNIZE ANY OF THE PLACES IN DAYLIGHT. 140 00:08:08,767 --> 00:08:11,367 ONSLOW USED TO TAKE ME INTO THE COUNTRY. 141 00:08:12,567 --> 00:08:15,000 SHE MEANS RABBITING. 142 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,367 IF IT WAS, I CAN RECOMMEND RABBITING. 143 00:08:22,234 --> 00:08:23,868 ( giggles ) 144 00:08:23,934 --> 00:08:26,000 OH, COME ON, YOU TWO, GET UP. 145 00:08:28,367 --> 00:08:30,434 - THIS SINK'S NICE. - MMM-HUM. 146 00:08:30,501 --> 00:08:32,534 NO, I THINK I PREFER THIS ONE. 147 00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:44,467 NOW, LET'S SEE IF I'VE GOT THIS RIGHT. 148 00:08:46,133 --> 00:08:48,701 NOW YOU'RE GOING TO SETTLE FOR THE... 149 00:08:48,767 --> 00:08:52,334 - NATURAL OAK ANTIQUE AGED CUPBOARDS... - THAT'S RIGHT. 150 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,334 BUT WITH THE MAJESTIC HANDLES. 151 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,400 YES, THE MAJESTIC HANDLES. 152 00:08:56,467 --> 00:08:58,968 BUT WITH THE RICH GOLD FINISH. 153 00:08:59,033 --> 00:09:01,334 WITH THE WORK TOPS IN TWEED BEIGE 154 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:02,734 FROM THE ARISTOCRAT RANGE. 155 00:09:02,801 --> 00:09:05,534 YES, YES I THINK SO. DON'T YOU THINK SO? 156 00:09:05,601 --> 00:09:09,200 THE DOUBLE SINK THE BUILT-IN OVEN, FRIDGE, FREEZER. 157 00:09:09,267 --> 00:09:12,300 THE LUXURY HEARTH AND THE SELF-CLEANING SPEEDFAST MICROWAVE. 158 00:09:12,367 --> 00:09:15,167 THAT'S RIGHT. THE ONE FROM THE AMBASSADOR CATALOG. 159 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,100 RIGHT. 160 00:09:18,167 --> 00:09:21,501 I'LL GET OUR PLANNING EXPERT TO COME UP WITH SOME DESIGNS. 161 00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:24,300 IT IS A VERY LARGE KITCHEN. 162 00:09:26,334 --> 00:09:28,467 I IMAGINE THAT HE WILL SUGGEST 163 00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:31,133 AN L-SHAPED PENINSULA UNIT. 164 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,834 - THAT'LL BE TERRIFIC. - YES, IT WOULD. 165 00:09:33,901 --> 00:09:36,234 WE'LL WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU, THEN. THANK YOU. 166 00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:39,167 - GOODBYE, SIR, MADAM. - BYE-BYE. 167 00:09:45,534 --> 00:09:47,968 CAN I HELP YOU, MADAM? 168 00:09:48,033 --> 00:09:50,033 I HOPE SO. 169 00:09:51,534 --> 00:09:55,534 YOU ARE AGENTS FOR EXCLUSIVE KITCHENS, ARE YOU NOT? 170 00:09:57,267 --> 00:09:59,200 YES, WE ARE, MADAM. 171 00:09:59,267 --> 00:10:02,200 OH. ( laughs ) 172 00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:05,200 I'M THINKING OF HAVING MY KITCHEN REFITTED, 173 00:10:05,267 --> 00:10:07,133 AND I RATHER LIKE THE LOOK 174 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,133 OF THE ANGEL GABRIEL BOUDOIR TOP. 175 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,434 I'M AFRAID THAT'S NOT AVAILABLE, MADAM. 176 00:10:11,501 --> 00:10:14,133 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "NOT AVAILABLE"? IT'S IN THE BROCHURE. 177 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,234 WHICH I THINK YOU'LL FIND IS OUT OF DATE. 178 00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,234 OUT OF DATE? 179 00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:20,300 MAY I? 180 00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:23,934 YES, THERE YOU ARE, YOU SEE, MADAM? 181 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,300 THIS IS LAST YEAR'S. 182 00:10:26,367 --> 00:10:29,300 I'M AFRAID ANGEL GABRIEL BLUE 183 00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:31,300 ISN'T IN THE CURRENT BROCHURE. 184 00:10:31,367 --> 00:10:32,934 HMM? WHYEVER NOT? 185 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,734 I THINK EXCLUSIVE KITCHENS HAD VERY FEW REQUESTS FOR IT. 186 00:10:39,033 --> 00:10:41,033 SO ARE YOU SAYING 187 00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:44,567 THAT THIS PARTICULAR WORKTOP WON'T BE FOUND IN MANY HOMES? 188 00:10:44,634 --> 00:10:48,634 WELL, I SUPPOSE YOU COULD PUT IT THAT WAY. 189 00:10:48,701 --> 00:10:50,634 I SEE. 190 00:10:50,701 --> 00:10:53,267 YOU'RE CERTAIN IT'S NO LONGER AVAILABLE 191 00:10:53,334 --> 00:10:56,100 - FROM NORMAL SOURCES. - THAT IS CORRECT. 192 00:10:56,167 --> 00:10:58,701 GOOD! THAT'S EXCELLENT. 193 00:10:58,767 --> 00:11:00,300 I BEG YOUR PARDON? 194 00:11:00,367 --> 00:11:03,200 NOW, HERE'S A DRAWING OF MY KITCHEN. 195 00:11:03,267 --> 00:11:05,434 WITH THE MEASUREMENTS 196 00:11:05,501 --> 00:11:09,000 IN FEET AND INCHES, YOU UNDERSTAND. 197 00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:11,267 I DON'T HOLD WITH THE METRIC SYSTEM 198 00:11:11,334 --> 00:11:13,734 AND ALL THAT E.C. CHANNEL TUNNEL NONSENSE. 199 00:11:15,033 --> 00:11:17,000 WOULD YOU KINDLY TELEPHONE 200 00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:19,000 EXCLUSIVE KITCHENS FOR ME, PLEASE? 201 00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:21,801 THEY MIGHT JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE ENOUGH ANGEL GABRIEL BLUE 202 00:11:21,868 --> 00:11:25,434 LEFT OVER TO FULFILL MY REQUIREMENTS. 203 00:11:25,501 --> 00:11:27,501 I THINK THAT'S MOST UNLIKELY, MADAM. 204 00:11:27,567 --> 00:11:29,834 WHAT KIND OF ATTITUDE IS THAT? 205 00:11:29,901 --> 00:11:32,901 IF WE DON'T TRY, WE WON'T KNOW, WILL WE? 206 00:11:34,934 --> 00:11:37,167 NO, MADAM. 207 00:11:39,267 --> 00:11:43,501 - JUST A MINUTE. - YOU'VE CHANGED YOUR MIND? 208 00:11:43,567 --> 00:11:45,968 NO, I JUST WANT TO CHECK SOMETHING. 209 00:11:46,033 --> 00:11:48,834 DO ANY OF THESE WORKTOPS 210 00:11:48,901 --> 00:11:51,267 COME FROM THE EXCLUSIVE RANGE? 211 00:11:51,334 --> 00:11:53,934 YES, MADAM. THAT ONE DOES. 212 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,934 OH, AND THAT ONE. 213 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,033 OH, GOOD. 214 00:12:00,434 --> 00:12:02,467 YOU WON'T BE TOO LONG, WILL YOU? 215 00:12:02,534 --> 00:12:05,200 MY HUSBAND'S RETURNING HOME FROM THE DOCTOR, SOON. 216 00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:08,167 HE HAS A VERY EXCLUSIVE MOBILITY PROBLEM. 217 00:12:09,701 --> 00:12:11,701 I'LL BE AS QUICK AS I CAN, MADAM. 218 00:12:11,767 --> 00:12:13,767 THANK YOU. 219 00:13:12,133 --> 00:13:14,033 HAVE YOU GOT A PEN I CAN BORROW? 220 00:13:18,334 --> 00:13:20,067 WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU DOING? 221 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:23,534 I'M JUST CHECKING TO SEE HOW WORKTOPS IN THIS RANGE 222 00:13:23,601 --> 00:13:25,601 COPE WITH SPILLAGES. 223 00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:30,534 MY SON SHERIDAN SOMETIMES IS VERY OVERENTHUSIASTIC 224 00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,534 IN THE KITCHEN. 225 00:13:32,601 --> 00:13:34,567 HE DOES TEND TO SPILL THINGS, 226 00:13:34,634 --> 00:13:36,968 AND LEAVE TRACES OF INGREDIENTS ABOUT. 227 00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:39,367 HIS FAIRY CAKE MIXTURE GETS EVERYWHERE. 228 00:13:42,834 --> 00:13:44,901 HOW DID YOU GET ON? 229 00:13:44,968 --> 00:13:47,434 WHAT? OH, UM. 230 00:13:47,501 --> 00:13:50,033 I'VE SPOKE TO THE PRODUCT MANAGER, 231 00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,000 AND SURPRISINGLY IT LOOKS AS THOUGH 232 00:13:52,067 --> 00:13:54,200 THEY WILL BE ABLE TO PROVIDE WHAT YOU REQUIRE. 233 00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,334 HOW WONDERFUL! 234 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,133 YES, YOU'RE LUCKY IT'S A FAIRLY SMALL KITCHEN. 235 00:14:00,968 --> 00:14:03,033 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO PLACE AN ORDER? 236 00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:06,200 ONLY WHEN I FINISH CONDUCTING THESE TESTS. 237 00:14:08,067 --> 00:14:12,167 WE DO CLOSE AT LUNCH TIME TODAY. 238 00:14:12,234 --> 00:14:14,968 ALTHOUGH I MAY HAVE TO LEAVE THE CAKE MIXTURE 239 00:14:15,033 --> 00:14:17,067 UNTIL IT SETS AND COME BACK. 240 00:14:22,901 --> 00:14:25,100 WHO WAS THAT HORRIBLE THING 241 00:14:25,167 --> 00:14:28,067 YOU USED TO GO OUT WITH BEFORE YOU MET ME? 242 00:14:29,167 --> 00:14:31,334 I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU. 243 00:14:36,300 --> 00:14:38,300 NO IT WASN'T! 244 00:14:40,701 --> 00:14:43,667 IT WAS HER FROM COLEMAN STREET. 245 00:14:45,234 --> 00:14:47,100 OH, BERNADETTE. 246 00:14:48,734 --> 00:14:51,634 SHE LOOKED MORE LIKE A SAINT BERNADETTE. 247 00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:54,434 OH! 248 00:14:55,601 --> 00:14:57,534 SHE WASN'T BAD. 249 00:14:57,601 --> 00:14:59,434 SHE WAS HORRIBLE. 250 00:14:59,501 --> 00:15:01,434 WELL, I USED TO DABBLE IN HORRIBLE. 251 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:04,767 WHEN YOU'RE YOUNG AND HEALTHY, IT'S ALL PART OF LIFE'S RICH TAPESTRY. 252 00:15:07,367 --> 00:15:09,634 I'M PART OF LIFE'S RICH TAPESTRY. 253 00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:11,801 WHAT KIND OF TALK IS THAT 254 00:15:11,868 --> 00:15:13,767 WHEN YOUR FATHER'S LYING IN THE NEXT ROOM 255 00:15:13,834 --> 00:15:15,968 IN A WORLD OF HIS OWN? 256 00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:19,067 AH, BUT, WE'RE STILL YOUNG. 257 00:15:19,133 --> 00:15:22,534 AT THIS TIME IN THE MORNING, NOBODY'S YOUNG. 258 00:15:23,934 --> 00:15:27,601 I WOULDN'T MIND IF YOU WEREN'T SO ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN. 259 00:15:29,968 --> 00:15:32,133 THAT'LL FADE IN TIME. 260 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:37,167 DON'T YOU LIKE A TOUCH OF ROMANCE? 261 00:15:37,234 --> 00:15:39,901 I WON'T SAY I DISLIKE IT. 262 00:15:39,968 --> 00:15:42,434 ONCE YOU GET STARTED, IT'S SURPRISING 263 00:15:42,501 --> 00:15:44,634 HOW EASILY YOU CAN GET INVOLVED. 264 00:15:44,701 --> 00:15:46,200 WELL THEN. 265 00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:53,801 GOOD HEAVENS, IS IT THAT TIME ALREADY? 266 00:16:13,434 --> 00:16:16,634 NOW, DEAR, WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY? 267 00:16:16,701 --> 00:16:18,901 IT'S ATHLETE'S FOOT. 268 00:16:18,968 --> 00:16:21,834 BUT IT CAN'T BE ATHLETE'S FOOT. 269 00:16:21,901 --> 00:16:24,501 DIDN'T YOU TELL HIM YOU'RE A RETIRED EXECUTIVE? 270 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:28,334 IF YOU'VE GOT ANYTHING, IT'S EXECUTIVE'S FOOT. 271 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:32,133 IT'S A MINOR FUNGUS INFECTION. 272 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,200 FUNGUS INFECTION?! 273 00:16:35,601 --> 00:16:37,934 RICHARD, I WILL NOT TOLERATE 274 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,934 YOU BEING DIAGNOSED AS FUNGUS. 275 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000 I WON'T HEAR OF IT. 276 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:51,200 OOOH! 277 00:16:55,834 --> 00:16:57,767 WHY IS RICHARD LIMPING? 278 00:16:57,834 --> 00:17:00,067 - IS HE LIMPING? - YES. 279 00:17:00,133 --> 00:17:03,534 HE CAME UP THE DRIVE LIKE "SHORT JOHN SILVER." 280 00:17:03,601 --> 00:17:06,868 HA-HA! GIN, LAD! 281 00:17:06,934 --> 00:17:08,901 I EXPECT IT COMES 282 00:17:08,968 --> 00:17:10,901 FROM CONSTANTLY REMOVING HIS SHOES. 283 00:17:10,968 --> 00:17:13,000 THAT COULD BE IT. UNLESS OF COURSE 284 00:17:13,067 --> 00:17:16,067 HE'S BEEN DOING SOME UNACCUSTOMED PHYSICAL LABOR. 285 00:17:16,133 --> 00:17:18,100 SUCH AS WHAT? 286 00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:21,400 SUCH AS PUSHING HYACINTH OVER A CLIFF. 287 00:17:21,467 --> 00:17:23,701 OH, EMMET. 288 00:17:23,767 --> 00:17:25,767 ( phone rings ) 289 00:17:33,033 --> 00:17:36,367 ANSWER IT, SIS, AND TELL HER "NO!" 290 00:17:37,634 --> 00:17:40,100 TELL HER YOU'VE SUDDENLY BECOME ALLERGIC TO COFFEE. 291 00:17:41,634 --> 00:17:44,033 MAKES NO DIFFERENCE, I NEVER DRINK ANY, 292 00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:46,300 I JUST SPILL IT. 293 00:17:54,634 --> 00:17:57,234 YES, THANK YOU, HYACINTH. IN 10 MINUTES. 294 00:18:00,467 --> 00:18:02,367 YES, WE'LL BE THERE. 295 00:18:02,434 --> 00:18:04,367 ( piano keys thud ) 296 00:18:06,701 --> 00:18:09,734 WE?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WE? 297 00:18:09,801 --> 00:18:12,133 WELL, SHE KNOWS YOU'RE IN. SHE MUST HAVE SEEN YOU. 298 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,701 HOW COULD SHE? I'VE BEEN SO CAREFUL. 299 00:18:16,167 --> 00:18:19,467 I HAVEN'T BEEN OUTSIDE FOR DAYS. 300 00:18:19,534 --> 00:18:22,934 OH, LOOK AT ME, LIZ, I'VE GOT PRISON PALLOR. 301 00:18:29,167 --> 00:18:31,100 WE MUST THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE. 302 00:18:31,167 --> 00:18:34,434 IF IT'S ATHLETE'S FOOT, IT'S ATHLETE'S FOOT. 303 00:18:34,501 --> 00:18:36,434 IT IS A FUNGUS INFECTION. 304 00:18:36,501 --> 00:18:38,767 RICHARD, DO YOU SERIOUSLY BELIEVE 305 00:18:38,834 --> 00:18:42,501 THAT I WOULD HAVE MARRIED AN ATHLETE WITH A FUNGUS INFECTION? 306 00:18:42,567 --> 00:18:45,400 NO, IT'S CLEARLY A WRONG DIAGNOSIS. 307 00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:48,634 HE'S GIVEN ME SOME CREAM FOR IT. 308 00:18:48,701 --> 00:18:51,567 WELL, DON'T LET ANYBODY SEE THE LABEL. 309 00:18:53,167 --> 00:18:55,701 NOW, WHAT CAN YOU HAVE 310 00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:58,334 THAT WOULD MAKE YOU LIMP, AND AT THE SAME TIME 311 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,367 BE SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE? 312 00:19:01,367 --> 00:19:04,400 NOW, HELP ME, RICHARD. THINK. 313 00:19:04,467 --> 00:19:07,300 BEFORE ELIZABETH AND EMMET COME FOR COFFEE, 314 00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:10,067 YOU'VE GOT TO COME DOWN WITH SOMETHING PAINFUL BUT POLITE. 315 00:19:26,767 --> 00:19:28,634 ANY MORE BREAKFAST? 316 00:19:38,734 --> 00:19:41,033 ( music plays ) 317 00:19:43,667 --> 00:19:45,701 THANKS, DAISE. 318 00:19:47,434 --> 00:19:50,300 YOU SEE, NOW THAT'S WHAT MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT-- 319 00:19:50,367 --> 00:19:52,834 THE LITTLE THOUGHTFUL ATTENTIONS, 320 00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:54,834 NOT THAT PHYSICAL STUFF. 321 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:59,100 I CAN'T REMEMBER IT EVER BEING THAT PHYSICAL. 322 00:20:04,968 --> 00:20:08,000 THERE'S SOMEBODY ELSE IN FATHER'S BED. 323 00:20:10,767 --> 00:20:13,033 I HOPE IT ISN'T THAT MRS. ACASTER. 324 00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:15,100 SHE LEAVES TOFFEE PAPERS. 325 00:20:16,601 --> 00:20:18,868 IT'S A FELLA. 326 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:30,534 DO I--? DO I REALLY NEED THAT? 327 00:20:30,601 --> 00:20:33,200 YOU DO IF YOU'VE GOT GOUT. 328 00:20:33,267 --> 00:20:35,367 GOUT?! 329 00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:38,701 BUT THAT'S WORSE THAN A FUNGUS INFECTION. 330 00:20:38,767 --> 00:20:40,701 NOT IN MY BOOK. 331 00:20:40,767 --> 00:20:42,634 YOUR GOUT IS AN AFFLICTION 332 00:20:42,701 --> 00:20:44,701 ACCEPTABLE IN THE VERY HIGHEST CIRCLES. 333 00:20:44,767 --> 00:20:46,801 OH. 334 00:20:46,868 --> 00:20:49,167 IT COMES FROM AN EXCESS OF GOOD LIVING. 335 00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:53,100 GOUT IS PRACTICALLY A PEDIGREE. 336 00:20:53,167 --> 00:20:56,334 YOU HAVE GOUT. 337 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,701 UH, HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO WEAR THIS? 338 00:20:59,767 --> 00:21:03,467 UNTIL THERE'S NO MORE TALK OF FUNGUS INFECTION. 339 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,067 ONSLOW, YOU'D BETTER GO IN. 340 00:21:11,133 --> 00:21:12,701 HE'S YOUR FATHER! 341 00:21:12,767 --> 00:21:15,868 EXACTLY, HE'S GOING TO BE MORE EMBARRASSED IF IT'S ME. 342 00:21:18,701 --> 00:21:21,968 - YOU'D BETTER GO IN. - WHY ME? 343 00:21:22,033 --> 00:21:25,167 BECAUSE THERE'S NOBODY BETTER WHEN IT COMES TO HANDLING MEN. 344 00:21:25,234 --> 00:21:28,467 I DON'T KNOW WHY PEOPLE KEEP SAYING THAT. 345 00:21:33,701 --> 00:21:37,067 HONESTLY, THE PROBLEMS WE HAVE WITH YOUR FATHER, 346 00:21:37,133 --> 00:21:39,701 IT'S ABOUT TIME YOUR HYACINTH HAD HIM UNDER HER ROOF. 347 00:21:39,767 --> 00:21:42,133 OH, ONSLOW, HE'S NOT BEEN THAT BAD. 348 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,167 WE CAN'T PUNISH HIM LIKE THAT. 349 00:21:44,234 --> 00:21:46,234 IT WOULD BE INHUMAN. 350 00:21:48,267 --> 00:21:51,567 IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S NOT SOMEBODY IN BED WITH FATHER, 351 00:21:51,634 --> 00:21:53,667 IT'S SOMEBODY IN FATHER'S BED. 352 00:21:56,100 --> 00:21:59,167 IT'S A MR. MAWSBY. FATHER'S GONE. 353 00:21:59,234 --> 00:22:00,968 WHERE'S HE GONE? 354 00:22:01,033 --> 00:22:02,734 I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE'S GONE. 355 00:22:02,801 --> 00:22:04,834 MAWSBY? 356 00:22:04,901 --> 00:22:06,701 DO WE KNOW A MAWSBY? 357 00:22:06,767 --> 00:22:09,200 DO WE KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING IN YOUR FATHER'S BED? 358 00:22:09,267 --> 00:22:12,400 OH, HE'S RENTED IT FROM FATHER. 359 00:22:12,467 --> 00:22:14,634 HE'S GOT A RECEIPT. 360 00:22:15,934 --> 00:22:17,868 OH, NICE. 361 00:22:18,868 --> 00:22:21,634 - THERE. - THANK YOU. 362 00:22:21,701 --> 00:22:25,234 AND I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE THIS ONE, ELIZABETH. 363 00:22:28,133 --> 00:22:30,167 I LOVE IT! 364 00:22:30,234 --> 00:22:31,801 ( laughs ) 365 00:22:31,868 --> 00:22:35,033 NOW DO HELP YOURSELVES TO A COTSWOLD CREAM, 366 00:22:35,100 --> 00:22:38,167 I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU ENJOY A REALLY NICE BISCUIT. 367 00:22:38,234 --> 00:22:40,167 THANK YOU VERY MUCH, HYACINTH, 368 00:22:40,234 --> 00:22:42,067 BUT I'M REALLY TRYING TO GIVE UP BISCUITS. 369 00:22:42,133 --> 00:22:44,701 THEY'RE PLUM FLAVORED WITH A HINT OF HONEYSUCKLE 370 00:22:44,767 --> 00:22:46,701 AND A TOUCH OF LIME. 371 00:22:46,767 --> 00:22:49,801 SOUND DELIGHTFUL, DON'T THEY, EMMET? 372 00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:52,701 YES, DELIGHTFUL. 373 00:22:52,767 --> 00:22:55,267 A LITTLE HEAVY ON THE CALORIES, PERHAPS, 374 00:22:55,334 --> 00:22:57,968 BUT LIFE WOULDN'T BE WORTH LIVING IF ONE COULDN'T ENJOY 375 00:22:58,033 --> 00:23:01,400 THE OCCASIONAL TREAT WITH ONE'S BEST FRIENDS. 376 00:23:01,467 --> 00:23:05,100 OOH, I'LL JUST ASK RICHARD TO JOIN US. 377 00:23:05,167 --> 00:23:08,534 HE'S WALKING VERY BADLY I'M AFRAID. 378 00:23:08,601 --> 00:23:10,634 I SAW HE WAS LIMPING. 379 00:23:10,701 --> 00:23:12,868 - GOUT! - ( gasps ) 380 00:23:12,934 --> 00:23:15,567 IT COMES FROM AN EXCESS OF GOOD LIVING. 381 00:23:15,634 --> 00:23:18,167 THE DUKE OF DURHAM WAS A MARTYR TO IT. 382 00:23:20,100 --> 00:23:22,100 THE DUKE OF DURHAM? 383 00:23:23,801 --> 00:23:25,734 WHY ARE YOU LOOKING SO CHEERFUL? 384 00:23:25,801 --> 00:23:27,701 I'VE GOT A-- 385 00:23:27,767 --> 00:23:30,334 A CUP WITH A LID ON IT. 386 00:23:31,734 --> 00:23:33,634 I THINK IT'S BRILLIANT. 387 00:23:33,701 --> 00:23:36,968 I THINK IT'S WONDERFUL HOW PROBLEMS CAN BE SOLVED SO SIMPLY. 388 00:23:37,033 --> 00:23:40,400 DO YOU REALLY, LIZ? 389 00:23:40,467 --> 00:23:42,734 AND HOW WERE YOU PLANNING TO DRINK IT? 390 00:23:42,801 --> 00:23:45,267 YOU JUST TAKE THE LID OFF-- 391 00:23:49,667 --> 00:23:52,133 THEN I'M BACK WHERE I STARTED. 392 00:23:54,701 --> 00:23:57,467 NOW GENTLY, GENTLY, OOH. 393 00:23:57,534 --> 00:24:00,167 All: OOOH! 394 00:24:03,334 --> 00:24:06,067 OH, DEAR. OH, DEAR. OH, DEAR. 395 00:24:06,133 --> 00:24:09,567 OH, RICHARD, THAT LOOKS VERY PAINFUL. 396 00:24:09,634 --> 00:24:11,501 IT IS. 397 00:24:11,567 --> 00:24:14,234 HAVE YOU HAD A COTSWOLD CREAM? 398 00:24:14,300 --> 00:24:16,834 ( screams ) 399 00:24:16,901 --> 00:24:19,300 IT IS. 400 00:24:19,367 --> 00:24:23,067 IT IS VERY PAINFUL. 401 00:24:23,133 --> 00:24:26,033 COMES ON SUDDENLY, DOES IT? 402 00:24:26,100 --> 00:24:27,968 SUDDEN ATTACKS, YES. 403 00:24:28,033 --> 00:24:30,033 OUT OF THE BLUE. 404 00:24:39,601 --> 00:24:41,501 UH! 405 00:24:41,567 --> 00:24:43,501 OH, NO! 406 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:53,033 A STRANGE MAN IN THE HOUSE. 407 00:24:53,100 --> 00:24:57,601 THERE'S BEEN ONE HERE FOR YEARS. 408 00:24:57,667 --> 00:24:59,634 WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? 409 00:24:59,701 --> 00:25:02,000 WELL, I KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO. 410 00:25:02,067 --> 00:25:05,334 SIT THERE WATCHING TELLY, 411 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,534 WHEN THERE'S A STRANGE MAN IN FATHER'S BED! 412 00:25:07,601 --> 00:25:09,501 THROW HIM OUT. 413 00:25:09,567 --> 00:25:13,200 YOU CAN'T, HE'S GOT A RECEIPT. 414 00:25:13,267 --> 00:25:16,934 - HOW LONG DO YOU THINK HE'S BEEN THERE? - OOH, DON'T ASK ME. 415 00:25:19,367 --> 00:25:21,400 WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE FATHER? 416 00:25:21,467 --> 00:25:23,367 I CAN'T REMEMBER. 417 00:25:23,434 --> 00:25:26,534 BUT YOU GAVE HIM HIS TEA YESTERDAY. 418 00:25:26,601 --> 00:25:29,934 I KNOW, BUT I NEVER LOOK AT HIM! 419 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:33,534 I JUST SORT OF HOLD OUT THE PLATE, 420 00:25:33,601 --> 00:25:35,701 AND THIS HAND GRABS IT. 421 00:25:35,767 --> 00:25:39,501 I DON'T LIKE LOOKING AT HIM WHEN HE'S EATING. 422 00:25:39,567 --> 00:25:41,601 ME NEITHER. 423 00:25:42,701 --> 00:25:44,634 ( both gasp ) 424 00:25:44,701 --> 00:25:48,767 I WONDER JUST HOW LONG MR. MAWSBY'S BEEN THERE. 425 00:25:48,834 --> 00:25:52,434 OH, NICE. HERE'S ME, THE BREADWINNER, 426 00:25:52,501 --> 00:25:54,434 AND LOOK WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH IT. 427 00:25:54,501 --> 00:25:56,868 FEEDING A MR. MAWSBY! 428 00:25:59,234 --> 00:26:01,734 WE'LL HAVE TO TELL OUR HYACINTH. 429 00:26:01,801 --> 00:26:04,634 - OH. - OH. 430 00:26:04,701 --> 00:26:07,300 I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, HYACINTH, 431 00:26:07,367 --> 00:26:09,634 BUT IT WAS SO DIFFICULT TO GET THE LID OFF. 432 00:26:09,701 --> 00:26:13,067 PLEASE DON'T CONCERN YOURSELF, ELIZABETH. 433 00:26:15,033 --> 00:26:17,300 I'M SURE YOU CAN'T HELP IT. 434 00:26:17,367 --> 00:26:19,267 YOU WERE PROBABLY JUST BORN CLUMSY. 435 00:26:21,934 --> 00:26:24,167 I'M THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE A FUSS 436 00:26:24,234 --> 00:26:26,267 OVER A LITTLE SPILLAGE. 437 00:26:27,701 --> 00:26:30,501 EVEN THOUGH IT DOES STAIN SO-- 438 00:26:31,667 --> 00:26:34,267 OH, AND SPREAD. 439 00:26:34,334 --> 00:26:36,801 NO, NO, NO, YOU'RE A GUEST. 440 00:26:36,868 --> 00:26:39,100 CAN I HELP? 441 00:26:39,167 --> 00:26:41,767 NO YOU CAN'T, RICHARD. YOU JUST SIT THERE, DEAR. 442 00:26:41,834 --> 00:26:43,901 YOU'RE IN FAR TOO MUCH PAIN? 443 00:26:45,300 --> 00:26:47,200 TOO MUCH PAIN. 444 00:26:47,267 --> 00:26:49,200 POOR RICHARD, 445 00:26:49,267 --> 00:26:51,267 TRUST HIM TO GET A DUKE'S DISEASE. 446 00:26:52,968 --> 00:26:54,934 "DUCK'S" DISEASE? 447 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,801 DUKE, EMMET, DUKE'S DISEASE! 448 00:26:57,868 --> 00:27:00,234 GOUT! 449 00:27:00,300 --> 00:27:02,567 HIS FOOT IS SO PAINFUL, 450 00:27:02,634 --> 00:27:05,501 HE CAN'T EVEN BEAR THE VIBRATIONS OF THE CLOSING OF A DOOR. 451 00:27:05,567 --> 00:27:07,567 JUST WATCH HIM. 452 00:27:16,734 --> 00:27:18,601 ( screams ) 453 00:27:20,601 --> 00:27:23,367 YOU SEE? POOR RICHARD. 454 00:27:25,300 --> 00:27:27,200 I'LL JUST GET YOUR COFFEE, ELIZABETH. 455 00:27:27,267 --> 00:27:29,367 OH, LOOK, HYACINTH, 456 00:27:29,434 --> 00:27:31,601 I THINK I'LL GO WITHOUT COFFEE. 457 00:27:31,667 --> 00:27:34,367 NONSENSE, I INVITED YOU FOR COFFEE, 458 00:27:34,434 --> 00:27:36,467 AND COFFEE YOU SHALL HAVE. 459 00:27:36,534 --> 00:27:38,934 OH, NO, PLEASE, HYACINTH. 460 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,834 - I'D REALLY MUCH PREFER-- - WORRY NOT! 461 00:27:41,901 --> 00:27:43,534 I HAVE THE SOLUTION. 462 00:27:43,601 --> 00:27:46,467 PLAN "B," NO HALF MEASURES. 463 00:27:46,534 --> 00:27:48,467 THE OBVIOUS ANSWER. 464 00:27:48,534 --> 00:27:50,801 I SPOTTED THIS IN A SHOP THE OTHER DAY, 465 00:27:50,868 --> 00:27:53,734 AND I SHALL KEEP IT ESPECIALLY FOR YOU. 466 00:28:04,901 --> 00:28:06,901 THANK YOU, HYACINTH, 467 00:28:06,968 --> 00:28:08,234 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 468 00:28:08,300 --> 00:28:10,868 WELL, I KNEW YOU'D BE DELIGHTED. 469 00:28:10,934 --> 00:28:13,801 MISS, MISS, PLEASE, MISS, 470 00:28:13,868 --> 00:28:15,868 CAN I HAVE A STRAW FOR MINE, MISS? 471 00:28:18,100 --> 00:28:19,667 OH, EMMET, 472 00:28:19,734 --> 00:28:21,834 MUSICAL AND A SENSE OF HUMOR. 473 00:28:21,901 --> 00:28:24,467 NOW, HERE YOU ARE, ELIZABETH. 474 00:28:24,534 --> 00:28:26,467 AND PLEASE NOTE, 475 00:28:26,534 --> 00:28:28,901 PINK FOR A LITTLE GIRL. 476 00:28:30,834 --> 00:28:32,767 THANK YOU, HYACINTH. 477 00:28:32,834 --> 00:28:34,334 OH, I ALMOST FORGOT. 478 00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,701 WE MUST COVER ALL CONTINGENCIES. 479 00:28:36,767 --> 00:28:39,334 JUST IN CASE YOU SHOULD DROP THIS ONE-- 480 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,334 WE DON'T WANT THE LID TO COME OFF, DO WE? 481 00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:43,300 I LEAVE THIS WITH YOU, EMMET. 482 00:28:43,367 --> 00:28:45,734 I'M SURE YOU HAVE THE NECESSARY BOY SCOUT QUALITIES. 483 00:28:45,801 --> 00:28:48,400 - DIB, DIB! - DOB, DOB. 484 00:29:07,367 --> 00:29:10,200 OH, DON'T FORGET MY COTSWOLD CREAMS. 485 00:29:10,267 --> 00:29:12,834 THEY'RE MADE FROM AN ANCIENT COUNTRY RECIPE. 486 00:29:12,901 --> 00:29:15,200 OH, THANK YOU, HYACINTH. 487 00:29:15,267 --> 00:29:17,267 PLATE? 488 00:29:19,834 --> 00:29:23,200 - SUGAR? - THANK YOU, HYACINTH. 489 00:29:32,834 --> 00:29:34,567 DON'T WORRY, HYACINTH. 490 00:29:34,634 --> 00:29:36,767 I WAS REALLY TRYING TO CUT DOWN ON SUGAR, ANYWAY. 491 00:29:47,133 --> 00:29:49,267 WHAT ARE WE GOING TO TELL HER? 492 00:29:49,334 --> 00:29:51,334 YOU'RE GOING TO TELL HER FATHER'S MISSING. 493 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:53,534 I KNOW, BUT FOR HOW LONG? 494 00:29:53,601 --> 00:29:55,734 SHE'S GOING TO WANT TO KNOW HOW LONG. 495 00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:08,400 ( coughing ) 496 00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:12,033 HE CAN'T HAVE BEEN GONE LONG. 497 00:30:12,100 --> 00:30:14,701 WE CAN'T HAVE BEEN FEEDING MR. MAWSBY FOR WEEKS. 498 00:30:14,767 --> 00:30:17,167 WE'D HAVE NOTICED. 499 00:30:17,234 --> 00:30:19,067 IT'S A CLEAR CASE OF NEGLECT. 500 00:30:19,133 --> 00:30:21,200 DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE YOUR FATHER. 501 00:30:21,267 --> 00:30:24,400 - YOU NEVER NOTICED EITHER. - I WAS BUSY. 502 00:30:26,701 --> 00:30:29,634 HYACINTH'S GOING TO GO MAD. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO TELL HER? 503 00:30:29,701 --> 00:30:32,968 PERSONALLY, I ALWAYS THINK IT'S BEST TO TELL THE TRUTH. 504 00:30:33,033 --> 00:30:34,567 DON'T LIE. 505 00:30:35,968 --> 00:30:37,901 OH, LET'S PUT A LIMIT ON IT. 506 00:30:37,968 --> 00:30:39,868 LET'S SAY... 507 00:30:39,934 --> 00:30:43,400 HE CAN'T POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN GONE MORE THAN THREE DAYS. 508 00:30:43,467 --> 00:30:46,434 RIGHT, OKAY. THREE DAYS MAXIMUM. 509 00:30:46,501 --> 00:30:48,734 THAT'S OUR STORY AND WE STICK TO IT. 510 00:30:49,767 --> 00:30:51,601 I'M SORRY, ELIZABETH, 511 00:30:51,667 --> 00:30:53,567 I'VE RUN OUT OF CASTER SUGAR. 512 00:30:53,634 --> 00:30:55,701 RICHARD DOES TEND TO OVERINDULGE 513 00:30:55,767 --> 00:30:57,767 ON HIS BREAKFAST CEREAL, DON'T YOU, DEAR? 514 00:31:01,133 --> 00:31:04,934 OH, I DON'T THINK WE SHALL BE NEEDING THAT AFTER ALL. 515 00:31:06,701 --> 00:31:08,601 PLEASE, DON'T WORRY, HYACINTH, 516 00:31:08,667 --> 00:31:11,400 ( phone rings ) 517 00:31:19,133 --> 00:31:21,467 NOW DON'T WORRY, ELIZABETH, 518 00:31:21,534 --> 00:31:24,534 IT HASN'T GONE OVER MY FURNITURE 519 00:31:25,534 --> 00:31:27,767 OR ANYTHING THAT MATTERS. 520 00:31:31,801 --> 00:31:35,167 I WARN YOU, I'M NOT CHINESE. 521 00:31:35,234 --> 00:31:38,267 NOW, THIS IS THE "BOUQUET" RESIDENCE 522 00:31:38,334 --> 00:31:40,667 THE LADY OF THE HOUSE SP-- PARDON? 523 00:31:40,734 --> 00:31:43,434 I'M SORRY, OPERATOR. 524 00:31:43,501 --> 00:31:45,868 YOU HAVE A REVERSE CHARGE CALL FOR ME? 525 00:31:45,934 --> 00:31:48,167 WELL OF COURSE I'LL ACCEPT IT. 526 00:31:48,234 --> 00:31:50,167 IT'S PROBABLY SHERIDAN. 527 00:31:50,234 --> 00:31:52,367 ( laughing ) 528 00:31:52,434 --> 00:31:54,367 OH, IT'S YOU, DAISY. 529 00:31:54,434 --> 00:31:57,767 NO, DEAR, I GET THESE FUNNY PHONE CALLS. 530 00:31:57,834 --> 00:32:00,834 NO, THEY'RE NOT FROM A CHINAMAN. 531 00:32:00,901 --> 00:32:03,234 NO, THEY'RE NOT OBSCENE-- 532 00:32:03,300 --> 00:32:05,234 AT LEAST I DON'T THINK THEY ARE. 533 00:32:05,300 --> 00:32:07,467 COULD BE A CODE, THOUGH. 534 00:32:07,534 --> 00:32:10,634 IS THERE ANYTHING I OUGHT TO KNOW ABOUT A NUMBER 41? 535 00:32:12,534 --> 00:32:15,133 NO, HE WANTED BEAN SHOOTS WITH IT. 536 00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:17,501 IT'S MY SISTER DAISY. 537 00:32:17,567 --> 00:32:19,501 YOU REMEMBER DAISY. 538 00:32:19,567 --> 00:32:21,467 SHE'S NOT THE ONE WITH THE MERCEDES 539 00:32:21,534 --> 00:32:23,701 THE SWIMMING POOL AND ROOM FOR A PONY. 540 00:32:23,767 --> 00:32:26,601 DAISY, WHY DID YOU REVERSE THE CHARGE, DEAR? 541 00:32:26,667 --> 00:32:28,601 UH, HUH, 542 00:32:28,667 --> 00:32:31,033 WELL, WHY ARE YOU CALLING FROM A PAY PHONE? 543 00:32:31,100 --> 00:32:34,067 OH, ONSLOW'S BEEN CUT OFF AGAIN, 544 00:32:34,133 --> 00:32:36,467 SURPRISE, SURPRISE. 545 00:32:36,534 --> 00:32:39,701 I'M NOT ASKING FOR MONEY TO PAY THE PHONE BILL. 546 00:32:39,767 --> 00:32:42,767 TELL HER WE DON'T NEED HER TO PAY THE PHONE BILL. 547 00:32:42,834 --> 00:32:45,100 I'LL PAY THE PHONE BILL. 548 00:32:45,167 --> 00:32:46,968 HOW? 549 00:32:47,033 --> 00:32:49,067 I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING. 550 00:32:50,267 --> 00:32:52,934 I WAS JUST WONDERING, OUR HYACINTH, 551 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,133 IF YOU WERE THINKING OF VISITING FATHER 552 00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:57,234 IN THE VERY NEAR FUTURE? 553 00:32:57,300 --> 00:32:59,200 'CAUSE IF YOU ARE, 554 00:32:59,267 --> 00:33:01,334 THERE'S SOMETHING I OUGHT TO WARN YOU ABOUT. 555 00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:03,501 HE'S NOT LOOKING HIS OLD SELF. ( laughs ) 556 00:33:03,567 --> 00:33:07,300 NOW, DON'T PANIC, HYACINTH, 557 00:33:07,367 --> 00:33:10,334 FATHER'S FINE-- AS FAR AS WE KNOW. 558 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,467 THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM. 559 00:33:12,534 --> 00:33:14,334 I THINK. 560 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,067 IT'S JUST THAT IF YOU ARE COMING TO VISIT HIM, 561 00:33:17,133 --> 00:33:19,334 YOU'LL FIND HIM CHANGED. 562 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:21,167 TELL HER PROPERLY, DAISE, 563 00:33:21,234 --> 00:33:22,767 STOP BEATING ABOUT. 564 00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:25,400 HOW HAS HE CHANGED? 565 00:33:25,467 --> 00:33:27,334 WELL, 566 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:29,334 AT THE MOMENT, 567 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,701 HE'S SORT OF CHANGED INTO A MR. MAWSBY. 568 00:33:32,767 --> 00:33:34,567 ( nasal laugh ) 569 00:33:34,634 --> 00:33:36,734 NO, HE DOESN'T THINK HE'S A MR. MAWSBY. 570 00:33:36,801 --> 00:33:40,601 THIS TIME, HE REALLY IS A MR. MAWSBY. 571 00:33:42,534 --> 00:33:44,634 I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE ME. 572 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,367 WELL, YOU BETTER COME AND SEE FOR YOURSELF. 573 00:33:49,434 --> 00:33:51,701 THERE'S A MR. MAWSBY 574 00:33:51,767 --> 00:33:54,434 WHERE FATHER USED TO BE. 575 00:34:15,868 --> 00:34:18,267 DO COME ALONG, RICHARD. 576 00:34:18,334 --> 00:34:20,534 THIS IS AN EMERGENCY, 577 00:34:20,601 --> 00:34:22,801 SOMETHING'S HAPPENED TO DADDY. 578 00:34:22,868 --> 00:34:24,968 DO I HAVE TO WEAR THIS THING? 579 00:34:25,033 --> 00:34:27,334 OF COURSE YOU HAVE TO WEAR THAT THING. 580 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,434 YOU'VE GOT GOUT! 581 00:34:29,501 --> 00:34:32,434 PLEASE REMEMBER YOU'VE GOT GOUT. NOW COME ALONG, DEAR. 582 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:49,567 TRY TO LOOK DIGNIFIED, DEAR. 583 00:34:49,634 --> 00:34:51,200 LET SUFFERING BECOME YOU. 584 00:34:51,267 --> 00:34:54,067 IF SUFFERING DOESN'T BECOME ME, 585 00:34:54,133 --> 00:34:56,501 I DON'T KNOW WHO IT BECOMES. 586 00:35:05,100 --> 00:35:07,267 QUICK AS YOU CAN, DEAR. 587 00:35:16,801 --> 00:35:18,734 OW! 588 00:35:18,801 --> 00:35:20,868 OH, THAT'S BETTER. 589 00:35:26,100 --> 00:35:29,133 - OH, NO. - WHAT'S THE MATTER? 590 00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:31,834 I THOUGHT I HAD THAT SPARE PAIR OF SHOES IN HERE. 591 00:35:31,901 --> 00:35:33,467 OH, NO, DEAR. 592 00:35:33,534 --> 00:35:34,868 THEY'RE IN THE HALL CUPBOARD. 593 00:35:40,667 --> 00:35:42,634 YOU CAN'T DRIVE IN THAT. 594 00:35:42,701 --> 00:35:44,868 NO, I'M PUTTING IT ON AGAIN 595 00:35:44,934 --> 00:35:47,167 TO GO BACK INTO THE HOUSE TO GET THE SHOES. 596 00:35:47,234 --> 00:35:49,000 ( laughs ) 597 00:35:49,067 --> 00:35:53,033 WE HAVEN'T TIME FOR ALL THAT. 598 00:35:53,100 --> 00:35:56,434 - JUST DRIVE WITH YOUR BARE FOOT. - BARE FOOT? 599 00:35:56,501 --> 00:35:59,901 PEOPLE IN NIGERIA OFTEN DRIVE WITH BARE FEET. 600 00:35:59,968 --> 00:36:02,067 YOU SAW THAT PROGRAM, REMEMBER? 601 00:36:03,634 --> 00:36:05,767 WE'RE NOT IN NIGERIA. 602 00:36:05,834 --> 00:36:09,000 USE YOUR IMAGINATION, DEAR. 603 00:36:09,067 --> 00:36:11,067 PUT YOUR SEATBELT ON. 604 00:36:13,367 --> 00:36:15,367 AND HURRY UP, DEAR. 605 00:36:21,434 --> 00:36:23,868 IT FEELS VERY STRANGE. 606 00:36:23,934 --> 00:36:26,667 RICHARD, LIFE IS FULL 607 00:36:26,734 --> 00:36:29,100 OF NEW EXPERIENCES. 608 00:36:29,167 --> 00:36:31,534 ( engine starts ) 609 00:36:33,834 --> 00:36:36,601 ( gears sputtering ) 610 00:36:45,234 --> 00:36:48,334 RICHARD! 611 00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:50,767 WHATEVER WILL THE NEIGHBORS THINK? 612 00:37:01,067 --> 00:37:03,334 ( gears grind ) 613 00:37:13,868 --> 00:37:15,834 MIND THE BICYCLE. 614 00:37:15,901 --> 00:37:19,300 I DID MIND THE BICYCLE. I'VE MINDED THE BICYCLE BY THE MILE. 615 00:37:19,367 --> 00:37:21,300 WHY ARE YOU GETTING BAD TEMPERED? 616 00:37:21,367 --> 00:37:23,834 I HOPE THAT GOUT'S NOT GOING TO MAKE YOU BAD TEMPERED. 617 00:37:30,100 --> 00:37:32,701 - MIND THE LORRY. - I'M PERFECTLY AWARE OF THE LORRY! 618 00:37:32,767 --> 00:37:36,167 IT IS. GOUT'S MAKING YOU IRRITABLE. 619 00:37:36,234 --> 00:37:39,334 I HELP YOU RISE ABOVE A COMMON FUNGUS INFECTION 620 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,367 AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET. 621 00:37:41,434 --> 00:37:43,534 YOU CAN DRIVE WITH A FUNGUS INFECTION. 622 00:37:43,601 --> 00:37:45,534 YOU CAN'T DRIVE PROPERLY WITH A BARE FOOT! 623 00:37:45,601 --> 00:37:47,667 THEY CAN IN NIGERIA! 624 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,300 IF THEY'VE LOST DADDY, 625 00:37:55,367 --> 00:37:57,467 I'LL NEVER FORGIVE THEM. 626 00:37:57,534 --> 00:37:59,467 I'D NEVER HAVE LEFT DADDY WITH THEM 627 00:37:59,534 --> 00:38:01,801 IF I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO LOSE HIM. 628 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:08,567 I DON'T LIKE HIM LIVING IN THIS AREA, ANYWAY. 629 00:38:11,467 --> 00:38:13,300 RICHARD. 630 00:38:19,234 --> 00:38:21,868 YOUR FATHER WAS BORN ROUND HERE. 631 00:38:21,934 --> 00:38:23,701 YES, BUT IT WAS NICER THEN. 632 00:38:23,767 --> 00:38:26,734 NOBODY WENT AROUND IN JUST A VEST. 633 00:38:29,467 --> 00:38:31,267 I'D HAVE HIM TO LIVE WITH US 634 00:38:31,334 --> 00:38:33,167 IF HE WASN'T SO ROUGH WITH SHERIDAN'S TOYS. 635 00:38:33,234 --> 00:38:35,000 UH! 636 00:38:39,634 --> 00:38:41,934 RICHARD. 637 00:38:55,167 --> 00:38:58,400 AND THEY TELL US THE THIRD WORLD'S OVERSEAS. 638 00:39:10,067 --> 00:39:12,434 COME ALONG, RICHARD, 639 00:39:12,501 --> 00:39:14,667 KEEP UP, DEAR. 640 00:39:43,968 --> 00:39:46,501 DON'T DAMAGE THE GATE, DEAR. 641 00:39:48,334 --> 00:39:50,334 ( barking ) 642 00:40:12,901 --> 00:40:14,834 OH, HELLO, OUR HYACINTH. 643 00:40:14,901 --> 00:40:16,901 THIS IS A FRIEND OF MINE, 644 00:40:16,968 --> 00:40:18,200 MR. MERIWEATHER. 645 00:40:18,267 --> 00:40:20,267 WE MET EARLIER TODAY. 646 00:40:21,601 --> 00:40:23,767 HELLO, MRS. BUCKET. 647 00:40:25,801 --> 00:40:28,033 I'VE PUT YOUR ORDER THROUGH. 648 00:40:28,100 --> 00:40:29,868 ORDER? WHAT ORDER? 649 00:40:29,934 --> 00:40:32,567 OH, JUST SOME KITCHEN FURNITURE. 650 00:40:32,634 --> 00:40:35,367 RUNNINGALONG, 651 00:40:35,434 --> 00:40:37,400 MR. MERIWEATHER? 652 00:40:37,467 --> 00:40:40,334 YES, I'D BETTER BE OFF. 653 00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:42,834 GOODBYE, ROSE. 654 00:40:42,901 --> 00:40:45,167 OH, OH. 655 00:40:49,234 --> 00:40:51,234 TILL THE NEXT TIME. 656 00:40:52,934 --> 00:40:54,934 AFTERNOON. 657 00:40:56,801 --> 00:40:58,767 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH RICHARD'S FOOT? 658 00:40:58,834 --> 00:41:00,601 GOUT. 659 00:41:00,667 --> 00:41:02,634 THE RESULT OF GOOD LIVING. 660 00:41:02,701 --> 00:41:05,734 DON'T WORRY, IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU'D PICK UP IN THE BACK OF A CAR. 661 00:41:12,734 --> 00:41:14,734 ( woman screams on television ) 662 00:41:14,801 --> 00:41:17,734 - HELLO, DAISY. - NOW YOU SIT DOWN, DEAR. 663 00:41:17,801 --> 00:41:19,601 - HELLO, ONSLOW. - HI, RICHARD. 664 00:41:19,667 --> 00:41:21,601 WHAT'S WRONG WITH RICHARD'S FOOT? 665 00:41:21,667 --> 00:41:24,834 - I ASKED HER THAT. - GOUT. 666 00:41:24,901 --> 00:41:28,234 IT'S AN AFFLICTION THAT COMES FROM GOOD LIVING. 667 00:41:28,300 --> 00:41:30,934 I HAVE A TWINGE MYSELF OCCASIONALLY. 668 00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:32,968 I DOUBT IT, ONSLOW. 669 00:41:33,033 --> 00:41:34,901 YOU PROBABLY GOT A FUNGUS INFECTION. 670 00:41:37,667 --> 00:41:39,567 NOW TELL ME, 671 00:41:39,634 --> 00:41:41,567 WHAT'S THIS ABOUT SOMEBODY IN DADDY'S BED? 672 00:41:41,634 --> 00:41:44,934 OH, IT'S NOT A SOMEBODY. IT'S A MR. MAWSBY. 673 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,667 - WELL, GET HIM OUT. - WE CAN'T, HE'S GOT A RECEIPT. 674 00:41:47,734 --> 00:41:49,701 OH, I'LL GET HIM OUT. 675 00:41:50,968 --> 00:41:53,133 I KNEW SHE'D HAVE THE SOLUTION. 676 00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:56,334 SHE'S GREAT AT SOLUTIONS, IS OUR HYACINTH. 677 00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:59,000 I CAN'T GET OVER THAT FOOT OF YOURS, RICHARD. 678 00:41:59,067 --> 00:42:02,100 FANCY, MARRIED TO HYACINTH, 679 00:42:02,167 --> 00:42:04,467 AND HAVING GOUT. 680 00:42:04,534 --> 00:42:07,334 WELL, AT LEAST THE GOUT'S CURABLE. 681 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:09,801 YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER FACE, 682 00:42:09,868 --> 00:42:13,100 JUST BECAUSE I WAS SAYING CHERI-BYE TO MR.MERIWEATHER. 683 00:42:13,167 --> 00:42:16,000 HIS DOOR'S LOCKED AND HE WON'T ANSWER. 684 00:42:16,067 --> 00:42:18,601 YOU'LL HAVE TO PUT THAT LADDER UP TO THE WINDOW. 685 00:42:18,667 --> 00:42:21,734 I'M NOT GOING UP ANY LADDERS. SUPPOSE I FELL OFF? 686 00:42:21,801 --> 00:42:24,934 I DON'T KNOW HOW ANYONE DARE TAKE SUCH A RISK 687 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,534 WITH THE GREAT WHITE HOPE OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION. 688 00:42:27,601 --> 00:42:29,901 GET THE LADDER, ONSLOW. 689 00:42:32,601 --> 00:42:35,501 - NOOO! 690 00:42:35,567 --> 00:42:38,868 - ( screams ) - AHH. 691 00:42:38,934 --> 00:42:41,234 NOW THAT WAS CONVINCING. 692 00:42:41,300 --> 00:42:44,467 WHY COULDN'T YOU DO IT LIKE THAT WHEN ELIZABETH AND EMMET CAME TO COFFEE? 693 00:42:44,534 --> 00:42:47,434 THIS WAS FOR REAL! THEY'VE TROT ON MY FOOT-- 694 00:42:47,501 --> 00:42:49,167 THE GOOD ONE! 695 00:42:49,234 --> 00:42:52,200 HYACINTH, COME AND SEE WHAT ONSLOW'S GOT ME. 696 00:42:52,267 --> 00:42:54,667 OOH, YES. COME ON, HYACINTH. 697 00:42:54,734 --> 00:42:57,367 IT'S A WORK TOP. PRETTY COLOR, ISN'T IT? 698 00:42:57,434 --> 00:42:59,400 MR. MERIWEATHER THINKS IT'S CALLED 699 00:42:59,467 --> 00:43:01,767 ANGEL GABRIEL BLUE. 700 00:43:05,033 --> 00:43:07,067 THEY WERE GIVING IT AWAY DOWN THE TIP. 701 00:43:09,267 --> 00:43:11,200 DON'T YOU LIKE IT? 702 00:43:11,267 --> 00:43:14,767 ONSLOW'S GOING TO BUILD IT IN PROPERLY FOR ME, SOMETIME. 703 00:43:25,801 --> 00:43:28,434 THAT'S LOVELY. LOVELY, DAISY. 704 00:43:28,501 --> 00:43:30,734 AND THAT WON'T BE SEEN IN MANY HOMES-- 705 00:43:30,801 --> 00:43:33,133 CERTAINLY NOT IN MINE. 706 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:41,968 ( television turns on ) 707 00:43:42,033 --> 00:43:44,267 HE'S GOT NO HEAD FOR HEIGHTS. 708 00:43:44,334 --> 00:43:48,100 - NEVER EVEN LIKED TALL WOMEN. - BERNADETTE WAS TALL. 709 00:43:48,167 --> 00:43:50,968 DID YOU EVER SEE HER UPRIGHT? 710 00:43:55,133 --> 00:43:58,067 ONSLOW'S VERY STRONG, THOUGH. 711 00:43:58,133 --> 00:44:00,400 I OFTEN THINK HOW SAFE I AM 712 00:44:00,467 --> 00:44:02,400 IN THOSE STRONG ARMS. 713 00:44:02,467 --> 00:44:05,167 NOT ALL THAT EXCITED, BUT SAFE. 714 00:44:05,234 --> 00:44:08,367 WE HAD A ROMANTIC INTERLUDE LAST WEEK. 715 00:44:08,434 --> 00:44:11,901 NO WE DIDN'T. YOU HELPED ME MEND MY BICYCLE. 716 00:44:13,567 --> 00:44:15,400 OH, AYE. 717 00:44:15,467 --> 00:44:17,400 I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING. 718 00:44:17,467 --> 00:44:19,667 HYACINTH, YOU'LL HAVE TO GO UP THE LADDER. 719 00:44:19,734 --> 00:44:23,033 I'M NOT GOING UP A LADDER IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, 720 00:44:23,100 --> 00:44:25,133 IN AN AREA OF SOCIAL DEPRIVATION. 721 00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:28,100 I CAN'T LET ONSLOW DO IT, 722 00:44:28,167 --> 00:44:31,033 I MIGHT NEED HIM TO PUMP UP MY TIRES. 723 00:44:46,968 --> 00:44:49,234 I-- I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING. 724 00:44:49,300 --> 00:44:51,267 ARE YOU SURE? 725 00:44:51,334 --> 00:44:53,167 WELL, OF COURSE I'M SURE! 726 00:44:53,234 --> 00:44:56,734 LOOK, DEAR, IF YOU'D CLIMB JUST A LITTLE HIGHER, 727 00:44:56,801 --> 00:44:58,934 YOU COULD PUT YOUR HAND THROUGH THE FANLIGHT. 728 00:45:01,501 --> 00:45:04,467 - DON'T KNOCK MY DISH. - AND DON'T TEAR MY NETS. 729 00:45:04,534 --> 00:45:07,234 WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP SHOUTING AT ME? 730 00:45:07,300 --> 00:45:09,634 THIS REQUIRES CONCENTRATION. 731 00:45:28,767 --> 00:45:30,734 WHAT'S GOING ON? 732 00:45:32,267 --> 00:45:34,667 DADDY! 733 00:45:34,734 --> 00:45:36,934 ( barking ) 734 00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:43,334 WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 735 00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,434 WE'VE BEEN WORRIED ABOUT YOU. 736 00:45:49,033 --> 00:45:51,734 UHHH-UHHH-UHHH! ( screams ) 737 00:45:58,300 --> 00:46:01,167 RICHARD, COME DOWN. 738 00:46:01,234 --> 00:46:04,634 I CAN'T GET DOWN! 739 00:46:04,701 --> 00:46:07,033 - OH, HIS POOR FOOT. 740 00:46:07,100 --> 00:46:10,334 YOU SEE, THAT'S WHAT COULD'VE HAPPENED TO ME. 741 00:46:12,934 --> 00:46:14,968 ONSLOW! 742 00:46:15,033 --> 00:46:17,267 GET ME DOWN OFF HERE! 743 00:46:17,334 --> 00:46:20,334 IT'S A MADHOUSE. A FLAMING MADHOUSE. 744 00:46:21,367 --> 00:46:23,167 UHHH! 745 00:46:23,234 --> 00:46:25,501 YOU'VE GOT A NERVE RENTING ME A BED WITH THIS LOT. 746 00:46:25,567 --> 00:46:27,968 I'VE A GOOD MIND TO ASK FOR MY MONEY BACK. 747 00:46:28,968 --> 00:46:30,968 ( screaming ) 748 00:46:31,033 --> 00:46:33,968 THERE, DADDY, D-D-DON'T CRY 749 00:46:34,033 --> 00:46:36,167 YOU'RE BACK, THAT'S THE MAIN THING. 750 00:46:36,234 --> 00:46:39,367 I'LL PUT THE KETTLE ON AND MAKE YOU A NICE CUP OF TEA. 751 00:46:39,434 --> 00:46:41,334 I'LL GIVE YOU A HAND. 752 00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:43,534 I WOULDN'T LET HIM PLAY WITH YOUR SKATEBOARD. 753 00:46:46,734 --> 00:46:48,667 SOME GOOD TELLY ON TONIGHT. 754 00:46:48,734 --> 00:46:52,501 - DO YOU WATCH "NEIGHBORS," HYACINTH? - HMM? 755 00:46:52,567 --> 00:46:54,501 ONLY WHEN THEY'RE IN DANGER 756 00:46:54,567 --> 00:46:56,467 OF LETTING THE AREA DOWN. 757 00:46:56,534 --> 00:46:58,467 THEN I FEEL IT'S MY DUTY 758 00:46:58,534 --> 00:47:00,467 TO KEEP AN EYE ON THEM. 759 00:47:01,934 --> 00:47:05,601 ONSLOW! 760 00:47:05,667 --> 00:47:08,901 GOODNIGHT, ONSLOW! 761 00:47:08,968 --> 00:47:12,901 THIS-- THIS IS NOT GOUT, 762 00:47:12,968 --> 00:47:15,767 THIS IS A FUNGUS INFECTION! 763 00:47:15,834 --> 00:47:17,901 I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW 764 00:47:17,968 --> 00:47:21,968 THAT THIS IS A FUNGUS INFECTION! 765 00:47:23,701 --> 00:47:26,200 ( theme music plays ) 56188