Original subtitles

Hey. Hey. You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just. You know, I'm

just emotional right now. Well, I wanted

to go over some stuff for the peer

oversight committee, but if it's a bad

time. No, no, please come in. Please.

Wow. So what's going?

Well, I'm putting the house up for sale so

that Lucky and I can make a down payment

on a piece of property we found. We want

to build a house of our own.

Elizabeth, you don't have to hide

anything.

Nicholas told me about your affair.

Up here is no place to make life altering

decisions. Better to do it in a bar,

right? You're right, though.

I need to to take this through.

Okay. So what changed your mind about

marrying Elizabeth? This is great.

I'm sure you think highly of me. Engaged

to Lucky and Sleepy, his brother.

Elizabeth, if you are a good and kind

person, I know that you wouldn't get

involved with Nicholas on a whim. I know

what we're doing is wrong and I want to

stop, but I just can't. I'm trying to

control my thoughts and my feelings, but

it's like I've become obsessed with him.

And I know that's not an excuse. In fact,

it makes it worse. I know it's just

horrible and it's deceitful and I'm wrong

and. Hey, can you just stop beating

yourself up for a second? Well, I hate

myself for allowing this to happen.

Listen to me, okay? If there's anything

that I learned from the whole postpartum

depression thing, it's that being ashamed

just makes everything worse. You had a

medical condition. I'm just a cheater and

a liar. Elizabeth,

it's not like you woke up one morning and

decided to ruin your life. That's the last

thing I wanted to happen. Can I ask how

it happened? How it all started?

It seemed so shallow. One, nothing between

you and Nicholas is shallow. Been friends

for a really long time. Which is exactly

why it took me by surprise. What did?

Nicholas and I kissed. It was a silly

impulse. We had been drinking at Jake's,

and then out of the blue,

I started to want him. I've been looking

back, trying to find a pattern.

I think Elizabeth only agreed to get

remarried because I pushed it. You don't

know that. The night I asked her to marry

me, she asked me for more time.

She told me that she was afraid of

repeating all the mistakes we'd made in

the past. You know, I can. I understand

that. Given all you've been through,

I really thought that we'd made Peace with

it. My drug addiction and affair with

Maxie, her affair with Jason. Why? She

told about Jake. But once we

agreed to get remarried, the guilt just

came crashing in on her again.

Elizabeth has forgiven me, but she hasn't

forgiven herself. She's scared to death

she's gonna do something wrong to destro

everything we're in the process of

rebuilding. Can you reassure her?

That's what I've been trying to do, man,

over and over.

I don't know. I'm just. Maybe at this

point, the only way to make this right is

to call off the wedding.

I don't know if you know this, but Lucky

and Rebecca dated for like a blink of an

eye. How did Nicholas feel about that?

Well, he was jealous. And so he kissed

me to make sure they saw it. And I

figured, why not? Because in a way, I

wanted Lucky to be jealous, too. Did it

work? Yeah. Yeah, it did. Lucky and

Rebecca stopped seeing each other. And

then later, Nicholas and I met up at

Jake's so we can discuss what had

happened. And we decided

to kiss again just to see what it would be

like. And I've

never been kissed like that, ever. And

afterwards, I couldn't stop thinking about

it. And I know it's crazy and it doesn't

make sense because Nicholas should be the

one person that is totally off limits to

me. But I couldn't help myself. And I know

he feels the same way, but it didn't stop

there. Well, we fought it. I mean,

we made a point of not being in the same

place. Cause we were just hoping that our

feelings for each other would subside.

And then the night of the carnival, when

Jake had almost been killed by the car,

he came by to check on me and we ended up

kissing again. And then he left. And Lucky

showed up. And next thing I know, Lucky's

asking me to marry him. Wow.

Dealing with a lot. I told Lucky that

I needed time to think about it,

so I went to Nicholas. And we ended up

losing control. I thought that

it was just going to be a one time thing,

that we would realize what we had done,

that we would regret it, and then we would

just move on.

And Lucky was still waiting for an answer

to his proposal. I just thought that if

I committed to Lucky, then all of this

with Nicholas would just go away. But it

didn't. My feelings just keep getting

stronger. Do you love

Nicholas? I love

Lucky. But I can't stop wanting Nicholas.

I kept thinking that once we made that

recommitment to each other, Elizabeth

would feel the same way. But it just seems

like her fears are getting worse.

Well, maybe even work through it. That's

what I'm hoping for. Every time I consider

calling off the engagement, I swing back

the other way and decide I need to have

faith in us until she feels it again.

Maybe that's your answer.

If Elizabeth only agreed to marry me to

make me happy. I can't stomach that.

That's not love. I don't even know what

that is. But it's not fair to either one