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Hey. Hey. You okay?
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Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just. You know, I'm
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just emotional right now. Well, I wanted
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to go over some stuff for the peer
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oversight committee, but if it's a bad
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time. No, no, please come in. Please.
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Wow. So what's going?
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Well, I'm putting the house up for sale so
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that Lucky and I can make a down payment
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on a piece of property we found. We want
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to build a house of our own.
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Elizabeth, you don't have to hide
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anything.
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Nicholas told me about your affair.
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Up here is no place to make life altering
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decisions. Better to do it in a bar,
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right? You're right, though.
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I need to to take this through.
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Okay. So what changed your mind about
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marrying Elizabeth? This is great.
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I'm sure you think highly of me. Engaged
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to Lucky and Sleepy, his brother.
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Elizabeth, if you are a good and kind
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person, I know that you wouldn't get
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involved with Nicholas on a whim. I know
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what we're doing is wrong and I want to
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stop, but I just can't. I'm trying to
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control my thoughts and my feelings, but
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it's like I've become obsessed with him.
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And I know that's not an excuse. In fact,
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it makes it worse. I know it's just
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horrible and it's deceitful and I'm wrong
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and. Hey, can you just stop beating
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yourself up for a second? Well, I hate
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myself for allowing this to happen.
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Listen to me, okay? If there's anything
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that I learned from the whole postpartum
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depression thing, it's that being ashamed
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just makes everything worse. You had a
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medical condition. I'm just a cheater and
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a liar. Elizabeth,
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it's not like you woke up one morning and
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decided to ruin your life. That's the last
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thing I wanted to happen. Can I ask how
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it happened? How it all started?
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It seemed so shallow. One, nothing between
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you and Nicholas is shallow. Been friends
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for a really long time. Which is exactly
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why it took me by surprise. What did?
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Nicholas and I kissed. It was a silly
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impulse. We had been drinking at Jake's,
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and then out of the blue,
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I started to want him. I've been looking
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back, trying to find a pattern.
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I think Elizabeth only agreed to get
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remarried because I pushed it. You don't
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know that. The night I asked her to marry
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me, she asked me for more time.
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She told me that she was afraid of
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repeating all the mistakes we'd made in
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the past. You know, I can. I understand
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that. Given all you've been through,
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I really thought that we'd made Peace with
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it. My drug addiction and affair with
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Maxie, her affair with Jason. Why? She
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told about Jake. But once we
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agreed to get remarried, the guilt just
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came crashing in on her again.
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Elizabeth has forgiven me, but she hasn't
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forgiven herself. She's scared to death
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she's gonna do something wrong to destro
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everything we're in the process of
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rebuilding. Can you reassure her?
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That's what I've been trying to do, man,
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over and over.
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I don't know. I'm just. Maybe at this
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point, the only way to make this right is
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to call off the wedding.
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I don't know if you know this, but Lucky
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and Rebecca dated for like a blink of an
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eye. How did Nicholas feel about that?
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Well, he was jealous. And so he kissed
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me to make sure they saw it. And I
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figured, why not? Because in a way, I
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wanted Lucky to be jealous, too. Did it
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work? Yeah. Yeah, it did. Lucky and
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Rebecca stopped seeing each other. And
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then later, Nicholas and I met up at
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Jake's so we can discuss what had
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happened. And we decided
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to kiss again just to see what it would be
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like. And I've
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never been kissed like that, ever. And
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afterwards, I couldn't stop thinking about
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it. And I know it's crazy and it doesn't
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make sense because Nicholas should be the
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one person that is totally off limits to
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me. But I couldn't help myself. And I know
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he feels the same way, but it didn't stop
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there. Well, we fought it. I mean,
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we made a point of not being in the same
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place. Cause we were just hoping that our
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feelings for each other would subside.
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And then the night of the carnival, when
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Jake had almost been killed by the car,
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he came by to check on me and we ended up
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kissing again. And then he left. And Lucky
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showed up. And next thing I know, Lucky's
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asking me to marry him. Wow.
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Dealing with a lot. I told Lucky that
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I needed time to think about it,
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so I went to Nicholas. And we ended up
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losing control. I thought that
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it was just going to be a one time thing,
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that we would realize what we had done,
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that we would regret it, and then we would
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just move on.
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And Lucky was still waiting for an answer
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to his proposal. I just thought that if
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I committed to Lucky, then all of this
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with Nicholas would just go away. But it
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didn't. My feelings just keep getting
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stronger. Do you love
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Nicholas? I love
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Lucky. But I can't stop wanting Nicholas.
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I kept thinking that once we made that
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recommitment to each other, Elizabeth
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would feel the same way. But it just seems
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like her fears are getting worse.
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Well, maybe even work through it. That's
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what I'm hoping for. Every time I consider
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calling off the engagement, I swing back
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the other way and decide I need to have
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faith in us until she feels it again.
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Maybe that's your answer.
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If Elizabeth only agreed to marry me to
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make me happy. I can't stomach that.
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That's not love. I don't even know what
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that is. But it's not fair to either one
9910
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