Original subtitles

1x22 - The Iron Octopus

My name is Peter Parker, and I'm about to die.

Ooh, yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes!

Ahh! No, no, no, no, no!

You've been pooled.

Fine, I give. I bow before the mighty Harrynator.

My consolation prize for missing the baseball game tonight.

Thanks, Dad. Stuck home when I should be behind home plate.

Hey, go easy on him. Your Dad has to work. It happens.

It always happens.

Trust me, Norman Osborn's not exactly "father of the year."

You wouldn't understand.

You Dad may not be perfect, but he's always been pretty cool to me.

You're lucky to have somebody like him around.

You know, when he is around.

Uh-oh. This touching moment is about to be interrupted by trouble.

What was that? Dad!

Pete!

Harry, I'm okay. I can't reach you.

Just hold up. I'll call for help.

He's such a good listener.

This looks like a job for me.

Who...?

Dad?

Not Dad! But your friendly neighborhood Spider-man.

- Spider-man. - Dad, are you okay?

Lucky for you we both work late.

Unlucky, however for this chucklehead...

Iron Man?!

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This is just wrong on every level. That can't be Iron Man.

Are you out of your mind, Stark?! Get out of my house!

Hey, Iron Man, if that's really who you are in there,

what's up with all the smashing and the home invading?

You're a super-awesome Avenger.

Also, practically my sidekick, right?

So give me a DAP and let's talk.

Guess you didn't get that friendship bracelet I left with your secretary.

Why would Stark do this to me?

I don't think that this is the Iron Man you think this is.

Not that there a ton of yellow and red avengers running around, but...

Stark won't come into my house and find me unprepared.

Bad, Iron Man! Bad!

Whatever's going on, you need a time out, mister.

If you two gotta... whoa!

Hello, big gun.

- Whoa, Dad. - I will not cover in my own home.

If Tony Stark wants to take up arms against me,

he'll find I'm not without defense.

Hold on. You can't just blast him.

He started it.

It's safe to say that I have never seen this side of Norman Osborn before.

Is that what Harry meant when he said I wouldn't understand?

Dad, could you give me a hand?

I have one more trick up my sleeve.

and your last trick was so great?

Leave this to me. I don't want either of you getting hurt.

Tony, if you're in there,

this will be a great time to say "help me" or something.

Dude, you can't go around zapping Iron Man.

What... what is that anyway?

Something I've had my team working on...

For self defense, obviously.

No!

Ow!

I... that... head!

Empty? What's going on here?

First, big time relief that Iron Man didn't go nuts,

followed immediately by curiosity, concern and a touch of nausea.

I'm gonna go figure out what's going on here.

Knock, knock, Tony. Hey, you missing any wardrobe...

or weapons of mass destruction?

There better be a goateed rich guy in there or you're getting tazed

with the latest Spidey tech SHIELD has to offer.

Sounds like you're having a night like mine.

How's it hangin', webs? My hall of armors has been compromised.

You might wanna take a pass on this one.

"Compromised"?

Oh, boy.

Small, medium and super-sized.

Don't worry. Now that there are two of us,

I'm sure this will be a snap.

Snack on this!

One to grow on.

Whoa!

FYI, I'd be totally geeking out on all of this if I wasn't busy

trying not to get blasted into dog food.

A nose? Really?

Like, in case you have to blow your beak in the middle of a fight?

I was in an "anatomical" phase.

Be thankful you didn't see the armor with a...

Another time! Or maybe never... thanks.

- What's going on here? - That.

Clever little bug broke in here and took control of my reserve armors.

It's hacking my mainframe firewalls as we speak.

It's also fired one of your life-sized action figures

- at Norman Osborn. - What?!

- That's enough of that. - Well, what about that?

Oh, no you don't.

Mind if I hitch a ride? Woo-whoo!

Waste disposal. I can't fit through those pipes.

Leave it to me... and lay off those iron cookies.

- Kidding. - That kid is not well.

Come here, you stinkin'... ooh!...

slimy...

slippery...

I got it! I got it!

I... got part of it.

Call it one eighth of a win.

Not a good day to be an optimist, kid.

That robo-squid thing just snatched my entire database.

It's not a robo-squid... octo-bot.

Welcome back. I was starting to worry.

File upload in progress.

Complete. Decrypting.

The Arc reactor.

Heart of Stark Industries, the world's most powerful

self sustaining energy force. Mine.

You may have failed to destroy Osborn, but this makes up for it nicely.

Doctor Octopus is back in the game.

This is not good.

Opposite of good.

My best friends Dad and my like, super-mentor...

at each other's throats.

Line up your lawyers, Stark.

Your so-called tech all but destroyed me and my son.

Are you listening at all? I was hacked.

I said I'd pay for the damage. I even fought back the bile

- and said I was sorry. - Stop!

Grown ups! Act... grown up.

- For once, the Spider's right. - Huh?

Bickering is getting us nowhere.

Then arrest the guy who attacked us and leave my Dad alone.

Isn't that what you do?

You Osborns are in the helicarrier for your own protection.

Until we can determine who sent the armor after you,

this is the safest place on Earth.

Which begs the million dollar question, Osborn,

and I know you can afford it.

Who is Doctor Octopus?

And maybe, the less-accusatory-more helpful question

is why does he wanna kill you?

Hey, Doc Connors, what's up?

Gentlemen, there's something you need to see. All of you.

It's exquisite work, and it matches the previous sample...

which was too damaged to properly study.

But this tentacle confirmed my suspicions.

This technology was invented by an old friend...

Otto Octavius.

We did our graduate studies together.

Octavius was brilliant, confident, driven.

I don't see the resemblance.

Doc Ock might be his more evil and less hygienic cousin?

After we graduated, he went to work for a Premier Tech company.

What?

Why are we all staring quietly at mister Osborn?

Doh! Wait.

Doc Ock, the uberbaddie who's been up my webs for months,

- worked at Oscorp? - I wouldn't know,

because I've never heard of "Doc Ock" until today.

Otto Octavius is another story. A tragic one at that.

Otto was like a son to me.

We were doing revolutionary work,

but there was a terrible accident.

Otto perished in my arms.

The notion that he's alive is utterly preposterous.

Yet, here's Otto's work,

hacking my armor and stealing my data.

How do you explain that?

Last time I checked, my father was the victim here.

Harry's got a point.

Innocent until proven guilty and all that.

There has to be some explanation.

Give me a hand here.

Ooh. Even I didn't mean for that joke to happen.

I thought those were deactivated.

They were, but someone powered them remotely with...

Arc reactor energy?

Your coveted Arc reactor. Do we even need to bother with a trial?

He's tried to kill me twice.

Hold on. It's an Arc reactor, not my Arc reactor,

which means there's another one in close proximity.

We took down all of your armors...

or... maybe not.

Hello, Norman.

That's not my armor.

Octavius, is that...

You might wanna sit this one out, Doc.

He doesn't look like he's here to conversate.

- Is it him? - I... I don't know.

You shouldn't play with other people's stuff, Doc.

I never play, mister Stark.

Jarvis, I'm gonna be a little late for dinner.

All agents, intruder in the lab.

Armed... really armed... and dangerous.

Take cover. Let the pros handle it.

Like the new duds, Ock.

Covering your face was a stroke of genius.

Not so crazy about a mace/shield combo. Very retro.

Have you considered mixing things up? Donut hole puncher?

Everyone loves donuts.

Whoa! Woo-whoo! Freeze ray.

That'll come in handy for smoothies at the annual creepy stalker guy reunion.

Give me Osborn

and you can all go back to your insignificant lives.

Sorry, we only have the one,

but we are running a special on super-villain restraints.

Can I fit you for four of those?

Silence!

You took from me everything that was important, Osborn.

- Now I will do the same. - Harry!

Harry!

Ooh, retribution is at hand.

No!

Intel! Track the bogey leaving the helicarrier.

We cannot lose him. I'm calling the rest of the team.

By the time the team gets here, Harry and Norman will be shredded.

- I'm taking Ock down now. - How do you plan to take Ock alone?

He's not the only snappy dresser in town.

Beg me, Osborn.

Beg me to show your son the mercy you didn't show me.

Let him go. This has nothing to do with Harry.

It does now.

Otto, I'm your friend. After the accident, I saved your life.

I built the machines that... that...

That enslaved me!

Then you locked me away in secret,

so no one would know about me, like a pet...

And then you tried to destroy me.

I'm here to return the favor.

Hands off the Osborns! Both of them!

You're not the only one with spiffy new armor.

Prepare to get rocked, Ock.

Heh, rhyme.

I just wanna say for the record.

They haven't invented a word for how cool this armor is.

So, I'll invent one right now.

Iron Spider armor is swikkity-awe-tastic.

And now back to the battle.

I'll see you strung up by your webs for that!

Just for that? Dude, there's plenty of worse things

people would want to see me strung up for.

Fine. Play the fool.

You've been playing it all along with Osborn.

Don't listen to him, Spider-man. He's a lunatic!

Even now you protect him,

despite all the misery he's caused you.

All of the attacks, the lies.

Right. Because insane dudes in iron lung Octopus armors

are always the ones you should listen to.

I worked for Osborn! We've been stalking you together!

Hunting you! Studying you to steal your secrets!

You're lying!

Hurry! Get Harry out of here!

Mister Osborn, there isn't anything to what Ock is saying, right?

That man is psychotic and delusional.

You have done more for my family then I can ever thank you for.

You can trust me, Spider-man. I swear on my life.

On my son's life.

Huh, right. As if. Hardy har-har.

- You don't trust him? - Dude, I don't trust you.

Oops.

Oh, no. Spidey sense.

Use whatever passes for your brain, Spider-man.

Every word that man utters is a lie.

The Arc reactor. What's happening to it? What have you done?

Same thing always happens with my cell. Did you remember to charge it?

Yes, you did!

This won't hurt... for long.

- Took you long enough. - Sorry.

It isn't everyday I get rocketed to the thermosphere

- by tiny squid-bots. - Octo-bots.

Why isn't the Arc reactor re-powering? It should be self-sustaining.

- I built it to your specifications! - Off the specs you stole.

But I never put everything in the computer.

All the good stuff stays up here.

Except for the armor activation codes, apparently.

Shutting up.

Let's be friends and chop Ock into sushi.

Good idea.

I won't let it end like this!

It's all yours, kid.

- Whoa! I did that? - You sure did, in my armor.

- Which I upgraded. - Which I upgraded after you upgraded it.

Touch�.

- Dad. - Everything's fine, son.

We're safe now... thanks to our friend, Spider-man.

Aw, shucks.

No trace of Ock. Looks like he made a clean break.

If it's any constellation, Osborn,

I'm not gonna rest until I see that lunatic brought to justice.

Keep your toys where they belong and I'll consider us even.

- Toys? You sanctimonious... - Easy. There's kids around.

Do you think anything Ock said is true?

You're the one with the Spidey sense, kid.

- Thank you for everything. - It's okay. It's what we do.

And I want you to know Mr. Osborn, I'll be keeping an eye on you.

Just in case anymore mysteriously not-dead ex-employees

show up again hurling accusations and octobombs.

Laters.

You can relax now. They're all gone.

Just be thankful I found you before SHIELD could.

I know I am.

You single-handedly took on two of the world's greatest heroes

and possibly best of all, you've upset Spider-man.

Made him nervous. You're amazing.

Welcome back to the family, Otto.

We have plenty of work ahead of us.

It's messing with my head, you know?

I want to give Norman the benefit of the doubt

for Harry's sake and maybe for mine, too, but the things Ock said...

Kid, we all have people in our life we look up to,

sometimes they're not who we think they are.

My advice, use your head. Listen to your gut.

Follow your heart.

And look, if you need somebody to look up to...

Well, there's always me.

So, what, we hug now?

You do and I'll uni-beam you to Detroit. See you around, kid.

See you around? Then that would mean another team up!

If you're lucky.

If I'm lucky? I saved the day.

By my count, you got hacked, jacked and barely made it back.

Huh, rhyme.

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