All language subtitles for Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 01 Episode 01 - The Gang Gets Racist

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil) Download
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,252 --> 00:00:06,211 Another big night, fellas... $ 164.87. 2 00:00:06,289 --> 00:00:08,189 - That's not a lot of money. - No, it isn't. 3 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:11,455 - And our mortgage is due in two weeks. - We paid that a week ago. 4 00:00:11,528 --> 00:00:14,258 A week ago was three weeks late, Mac. 5 00:00:14,331 --> 00:00:16,322 Hey, guys. 6 00:00:16,399 --> 00:00:20,165 I met this guy in acting class. He's really cool, and he wants to see where I work. 7 00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:22,933 So could you guys try to not be weird? 8 00:00:23,006 --> 00:00:27,375 - What is that supposed to mean? - I love you guys, but sometimes you're not that cool. 9 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,469 - We're cool! - Not cool? 10 00:00:29,546 --> 00:00:32,014 - Try to be cool. - Sometimes you're not too cool. 11 00:00:32,082 --> 00:00:34,277 - Charlie... - Always cool, man. 12 00:00:34,351 --> 00:00:37,047 - Oh, hey, man, we're closed. - Yeah, I know. 13 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,180 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! We don't want any trouble. - What? 14 00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:42,987 Guys, this is Terrell... 15 00:00:43,059 --> 00:00:44,993 from my acting class. 16 00:00:47,998 --> 00:00:50,865 - Yeah. Yeah. - Hey, man. How's it goin'? 17 00:00:50,934 --> 00:00:54,062 - It's going good. How you doin'? - Good, man. 18 00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,162 - We're just chillin', dude. - Great. 19 00:00:56,239 --> 00:00:58,070 - Just closing up shop. - Yeah. 20 00:00:58,141 --> 00:00:59,836 Whoa. 21 00:00:59,910 --> 00:01:03,539 Guess you guys don't have too many brothers walking through here. 22 00:01:03,613 --> 00:01:05,547 - Oh, no, no. - We got plenty of brothers. 23 00:01:05,615 --> 00:01:07,412 Yeah... A-African-Americans. 24 00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:09,645 Okay. Yeah, we get it. 25 00:01:09,719 --> 00:01:12,187 You might know some of them. 26 00:01:13,690 --> 00:01:16,250 Yeah. We're probably related. 27 00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:18,351 No. 28 00:01:18,428 --> 00:01:21,761 I don't think he was implying that you guys are all related. That's ridiculous. 29 00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:26,234 Sweet Dee came in here a second ago and started talking about acting class. 30 00:01:26,303 --> 00:01:30,637 - We weren't expecting you... - We weren't expecting you to be black, that's all. 31 00:01:33,543 --> 00:01:35,443 Right. 32 00:01:40,617 --> 00:01:42,414 Thanks, guys. 33 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:17,008 When I'm promotin', everybody and their mama gonna be there. 34 00:02:17,087 --> 00:02:19,555 There's gonna be brothers, white boys, Latinos, whatever. 35 00:02:19,622 --> 00:02:22,147 You got niggas hanging from the rafters. 36 00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:25,160 So we got 400-plus packed into this tiny little place... 37 00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:28,095 Whoa. You had 400 people packed into a place? 38 00:02:28,164 --> 00:02:30,132 You damn right. That's my job, man. 39 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,168 And it's mostly college kids. 40 00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:34,635 My sister goes to Temple, so I got the hookup over there. 41 00:02:34,704 --> 00:02:36,569 And hookups are good. 42 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:40,700 But, just to be clear, when you say your sister, do you mean your sister or your friend... 43 00:02:40,777 --> 00:02:42,574 - Dude. - Oh, Jesus. 44 00:02:43,980 --> 00:02:46,915 - I mean my sister. - Oh. Okay. Cool. 45 00:02:46,983 --> 00:02:50,077 I was just... Because he could mean his friend or his... 46 00:02:50,153 --> 00:02:52,018 Stop talking. 47 00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:54,522 So we're packed into this little place on Walnut. 48 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:57,685 We're halfway through the night, everything's goin' all right. 49 00:02:57,761 --> 00:03:01,629 All of a sudden, I notice this dude eyeballin' me from across the bar. 50 00:03:01,698 --> 00:03:05,828 - Shit. - I don't know if this dude wants to freak me or fight me. 51 00:03:05,902 --> 00:03:08,632 - He's giving you crazy eyes. - The insane, crazy eyes. 52 00:03:08,705 --> 00:03:10,570 - Right? - I know that. 53 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:13,006 So I walk over... He's this big, cut Mexican dude... 54 00:03:13,076 --> 00:03:16,739 and I look at him and say, "Yo, ese... 55 00:03:16,813 --> 00:03:20,305 unless you want to get yo' ass torn apart... 56 00:03:20,383 --> 00:03:22,908 you'd better get that look off your face." 57 00:03:22,986 --> 00:03:26,046 - No! - You just walked right up to him and said that? 58 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,522 I had to, man. You gotta make the first move. 59 00:03:28,591 --> 00:03:31,526 - Always make the first move. You know what I'm sayin'? - I-I know. 60 00:03:31,594 --> 00:03:34,529 - So what happened? - Well, hey, he won't stop starin' me down. 61 00:03:34,597 --> 00:03:38,693 We're, like, eyeball to eyeball. His grill is right up in mine. It feels like an eternity. 62 00:03:38,768 --> 00:03:41,066 Finally... 63 00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:44,504 he just opens up his mouth and says... 64 00:03:44,574 --> 00:03:48,806 "I guess you gon' have to tear my ass apart, homes." 65 00:03:48,878 --> 00:03:52,143 Oh, man. So what'd you do? 66 00:03:52,215 --> 00:03:54,240 Took him to the back alley... 67 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:56,945 and I tore his ass apart! 68 00:03:57,020 --> 00:03:58,817 Oh, my God! 69 00:03:58,888 --> 00:04:00,583 That's insane! 70 00:04:03,726 --> 00:04:07,025 Okay, I would like to do things like that. 71 00:04:07,097 --> 00:04:10,032 I love that guy. "I took him to the back alley"? 72 00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:13,592 - Who does shit like that? It's like a movie. - There's something off about him. 73 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:17,538 - Oh, bro, that's racist. - No, asshole, that's not what I meant. 74 00:04:17,607 --> 00:04:20,474 - I'll go get the coffee. What do you guys want? - Dude, sit down. Okay? 75 00:04:20,543 --> 00:04:23,478 Wait till the waitress comes out here, and then you can stare at her. 76 00:04:23,546 --> 00:04:26,692 - I wasn't gonna stare at her. I was just gonna... - He wasn't gonna stare at her. 77 00:04:26,716 --> 00:04:29,776 - You're totally obsessed with that chick. - No, I'm not. I like her. 78 00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:34,290 I have a little bit of a crush, yes. But obsessed? That's a bit of a harsh word. 79 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:38,851 - It's never gonna happen. - Honestly, I think we should think about hiring Terrell. 80 00:04:38,928 --> 00:04:40,793 - Why? For what? - You heard him. 81 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:43,142 When he's promotin', everybody named Mama's looking to get in. 82 00:04:43,166 --> 00:04:46,033 That's true. They do have "niggers hanging from rafters." 83 00:04:46,102 --> 00:04:49,037 - Wow. Nice. - No, that's not what I was saying. 84 00:04:49,105 --> 00:04:50,504 - Coffee? - Yeah. 85 00:04:50,573 --> 00:04:53,474 - Hitler? - No, I'm not... I'm not Adolf Hitler. 86 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:56,522 - I'll make sure to put lots of cream in yours. - I was quoting a black friend. 87 00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:58,480 Okay. 88 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,482 Well, that's just great. 89 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,519 - Now she thinks I'm racist. - Dude, will you just drop it? 90 00:05:03,586 --> 00:05:06,987 Listen, if Terrell delivers half of what he promises, we're looking at 200 people. 91 00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:11,618 - Yeah, that's true. - It'd be nice to get some chicks in the bar. 92 00:05:11,694 --> 00:05:13,821 All right, let's do it. 93 00:05:18,134 --> 00:05:19,999 - Sure about this? - It's 2005, Charlie. 94 00:05:20,069 --> 00:05:23,505 Don't you think it's ridiculous that you have no friends outside of your own race? 95 00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:26,508 - No, what is ridiculous is this stupid plan. - It's not stupid! 96 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:29,170 - It's a stupid plan. - It's not... This is a college campus. 97 00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:32,681 This is a great place to meet people of different cultures, diversify... 98 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:35,616 You're just trying to make black... Mm-hmm. 99 00:05:36,719 --> 00:05:38,653 You're trying to make black friends. 100 00:05:38,721 --> 00:05:42,201 - You're not making it easy. - You're trying to impress Terrell with a couple of black friends. 101 00:05:42,225 --> 00:05:44,318 Don't do this right now. 102 00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:50,721 Okay. See? This is exactly what I'm talking about. 103 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,734 - This is perfect. - Huh. Yeah. 104 00:05:52,802 --> 00:05:55,293 - I'm gonna break the ice. - Go for it. 105 00:05:55,371 --> 00:05:57,236 'Bout to bust that shit up, Reese. 106 00:05:57,307 --> 00:05:59,571 'Bout to bust that shit up, boy! 107 00:05:59,642 --> 00:06:01,576 Absolutely. 108 00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:11,352 - Okay, that didn't go exactly the way... - No. 109 00:06:11,421 --> 00:06:13,616 - No. It was really awkward. - Really awkward. 110 00:06:13,690 --> 00:06:15,681 - Maybe we should go. - Yeah! 111 00:06:15,758 --> 00:06:18,852 - Hey, what's your name? - Oh. It's, uh, Charlie. 112 00:06:18,928 --> 00:06:20,896 Do you play bones, Charlie? 113 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,864 I dabble. 114 00:06:22,932 --> 00:06:25,867 Do you want to play? I could get you a game. 115 00:06:25,935 --> 00:06:28,870 Uh, no, I shouldn't. I'm not very good, so... 116 00:06:28,938 --> 00:06:32,897 - I bet you're really good. - Well, it's been a long time, you know. 117 00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:34,967 - Oh, come on. - All right. One game. 118 00:06:35,044 --> 00:06:38,070 Domino, bitch! 119 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,719 This is bullshit. Absolute bullshit. 120 00:06:44,787 --> 00:06:48,245 - Why do these people like you more than they like me? - Maybe it's comments like that. 121 00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:52,124 I meant those people in there, not all black people. What am I supposed to say? 122 00:06:52,195 --> 00:06:55,096 You should say something different. Figure something else out. 123 00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:57,098 - Hey. - Hey. 124 00:06:57,166 --> 00:07:00,192 - Um, I'm Janell. - Oh, hi. 125 00:07:00,270 --> 00:07:03,637 - Uh, you got some moves out there, Charlie. - Thanks. 126 00:07:03,706 --> 00:07:05,640 You know. 127 00:07:05,708 --> 00:07:08,233 I wanted to give you this. 128 00:07:08,311 --> 00:07:10,245 - Oh. Okay. - You know? 129 00:07:10,313 --> 00:07:13,976 - Give me a call sometime. All right? - Yeah. Sure. 130 00:07:14,050 --> 00:07:16,041 Well, you... 131 00:07:16,119 --> 00:07:18,986 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing, dude? - What? 132 00:07:19,055 --> 00:07:20,989 That girl's gorgeous. 133 00:07:21,057 --> 00:07:24,236 She's the perfect opportunity to prove we're not racist. She probably has friends for me. 134 00:07:24,260 --> 00:07:27,718 Well, if anything, I think we should be focused on black men, first of all. 135 00:07:27,797 --> 00:07:29,856 What? 136 00:07:29,932 --> 00:07:32,799 We don't really need... We need black guys, so... 137 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,337 - Black guys? What are you talking about? - You know. 138 00:07:35,405 --> 00:07:38,738 Is this about that waitress at the coffee shop, dude? 139 00:07:38,808 --> 00:07:40,673 - Oh, my God! - What? 140 00:07:40,743 --> 00:07:43,234 - Dude, you are obsessed with this chick. - No, I'm not. 141 00:07:43,313 --> 00:07:45,178 - Let me see your wallet. - Why? 142 00:07:45,248 --> 00:07:48,945 - Are you still carrying a picture of her in your wallet? - No. 143 00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,991 Give it to me. Give it... 144 00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,688 Oh, my God! Stop making a scene! 145 00:07:59,762 --> 00:08:02,162 Just give me the wallet! Give me the wallet! 146 00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:04,222 I can't get the goddamn... 147 00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:06,427 It's okay! It's okay, everybody! 148 00:08:06,502 --> 00:08:08,868 - You're making a scene. - You're making a scene! 149 00:08:08,938 --> 00:08:10,735 I got it. 150 00:08:10,807 --> 00:08:13,640 Okay, okay, okay, okay. Hold on a second. 151 00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:16,941 - Ha! Ha-ha! Ha! - Give it to me! 152 00:08:17,013 --> 00:08:18,776 He had it! 153 00:08:18,848 --> 00:08:20,611 Okay! You found it! 154 00:08:20,683 --> 00:08:22,776 - I'm gonna tear it up! - No, don't! 155 00:08:24,153 --> 00:08:27,179 Just give me it. I'll call the black girl. Okay? 156 00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:29,224 Okay, buddy. 157 00:08:29,292 --> 00:08:31,886 We're cool. We're cool. 158 00:08:31,961 --> 00:08:35,021 We're good. Thanks, guys. See ya. 159 00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:43,337 I had the craziest dream last night that I was in Cleveland, Ohio... 160 00:08:43,406 --> 00:08:46,341 which is really weird, because I've never even been to Ohio. 161 00:08:46,409 --> 00:08:49,344 This guy was wearing a bunny suit, and he was coming out... 162 00:08:49,412 --> 00:08:52,347 You know what, Dee? I don't wanna hear about your dreams. Okay? 163 00:08:52,415 --> 00:08:56,351 I hate listening to people's dreams. It's like flipping through a stack of photographs. 164 00:08:56,419 --> 00:08:59,855 If I'm not in any of'em and nobody's having sex, I just... I don't care. 165 00:08:59,922 --> 00:09:02,789 Oh. I'm sorry. I would listen to your dreams. 166 00:09:02,859 --> 00:09:05,828 - 'Cause your my brother and I love you. - I'm sorry. I am. 167 00:09:05,895 --> 00:09:08,625 - Hey! What's goin' on, guys? - Terrell. 168 00:09:08,698 --> 00:09:11,565 - How are you? - Hey! What's up? What's up? 169 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:15,297 How you doin'? Dennis! What's goin' on? 170 00:09:15,371 --> 00:09:17,362 - All right, man. - How's it goin', man? 171 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,305 Good, man. 172 00:09:19,375 --> 00:09:23,004 Listen, um, you mind stepping outside with me for a second, man? 173 00:09:23,079 --> 00:09:24,944 - Yeah, I'll come outside. - Yeah? 174 00:09:25,014 --> 00:09:27,209 - Yeah. - All right. Well, come on. 175 00:09:28,751 --> 00:09:32,517 I'm gonna put these out on the tables. 176 00:09:33,523 --> 00:09:36,890 Rule number one: Always keep a line. 177 00:09:36,959 --> 00:09:39,359 Oh, my God! That is a lot of people! 178 00:09:39,429 --> 00:09:41,363 Wow! 179 00:09:47,303 --> 00:09:51,603 - This is crazy! - I know! I told you! Terrell's the best! 180 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:54,234 I'm gonna have to start bartending full-time. 181 00:09:54,310 --> 00:09:56,244 L-Look at this! 182 00:09:57,547 --> 00:10:00,380 - Why are you making more money than me? - I don't know! 183 00:10:00,450 --> 00:10:04,477 - Hey, this is crazy! - I know. Terrell packed 'em in. Look at this. 184 00:10:04,554 --> 00:10:07,955 - This is crazy! - Yeah, dude, we were just saying that. 185 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,924 - Lot of dudes. - Yeah, there's a lot of dudes. 186 00:10:09,992 --> 00:10:11,721 Lot of dudes. 187 00:10:11,794 --> 00:10:13,694 What can I get you boys? 188 00:10:13,763 --> 00:10:17,324 - Oh, uh, we wanted to wait for the cute one. - What cute one? 189 00:10:21,237 --> 00:10:23,364 Mac, isn't that your cousin Brett by the jukebox? 190 00:10:25,274 --> 00:10:27,105 - Oh, yeah! - Let's go say hey. 191 00:10:27,176 --> 00:10:30,111 - Yo, Brettie boy! - Hey, cuz! 192 00:10:30,179 --> 00:10:34,377 - Hey! How you doin'? - What's up, Brett? Can you believe this crowd? 193 00:10:34,450 --> 00:10:37,248 - Oh, it's something else! - Yeah! 194 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,948 Gentlemen, I understand my services have been requested. 195 00:10:40,022 --> 00:10:42,388 I actually got a couple of services I'd like to request. 196 00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:44,949 Whoa! Uh, what are you doin, man? I'm not... 197 00:10:45,027 --> 00:10:49,123 - You have the most beautiful eyes. - Okay, man, but I'm... Really? 198 00:10:49,198 --> 00:10:51,029 So blue. 199 00:10:52,101 --> 00:10:55,036 Really more of a blue-green, actually, but... 200 00:10:55,104 --> 00:10:57,834 - I'm really proud of you, man. - Yeah, thanks. 201 00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:00,637 - You've come a long way. - What do you mean? 202 00:11:00,710 --> 00:11:04,737 You guys are running the hottest gay bar in Philadelphia. 203 00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:23,960 No! What in the hell is your problem? 204 00:11:24,033 --> 00:11:26,695 How could you not tell me you were gay? 205 00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:30,671 I'm a musical theater actor living in Philadelphia. I didn't think it was that big a secret. 206 00:11:30,740 --> 00:11:32,935 I've been coming on to you for weeks now. 207 00:11:33,009 --> 00:11:35,637 - Just thought you were into gay dudes. - I am not into gay dudes! 208 00:11:35,711 --> 00:11:38,043 - Apparently you are. - Okay, well, you know what? 209 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,993 The guys hired you to promote their bar, and you turned it into a gay bar. 210 00:11:41,017 --> 00:11:42,951 They are not happy. 211 00:11:47,023 --> 00:11:48,957 - So much money! - Whoo! 212 00:11:49,025 --> 00:11:52,586 Oh! So much money! We made more money in one night... 213 00:11:52,662 --> 00:11:55,961 Th-Than in the entire time that we've owned this place! 214 00:11:56,032 --> 00:11:57,966 We have to embrace the situation. 215 00:11:58,034 --> 00:11:59,968 We should totally embrace the situation! 216 00:12:00,036 --> 00:12:01,947 - We're a gay bar from now on. - Absolutely, man! 217 00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,962 No goddamn way. 218 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,974 Have you guys seen this? 219 00:12:06,042 --> 00:12:08,977 "Looking for that new hot spot to spot that stud? 220 00:12:09,045 --> 00:12:11,479 Well, Paddy's Irish Pub has plugged that hole." 221 00:12:11,547 --> 00:12:13,481 - That's a nice notice. - No, it's not nice. 222 00:12:13,549 --> 00:12:15,574 I don't want to be plugging anybody's holes. 223 00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:18,051 - I'm gonna have to agree with Mac. - Of course you are. 224 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,680 I made $300 last night. How much did you make? 225 00:12:20,756 --> 00:12:23,996 First of all, that's rude. And that has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. 226 00:12:24,026 --> 00:12:25,960 It has everything to do with it. 227 00:12:26,028 --> 00:12:28,462 I don't think we have much of a choice. We need to do this. 228 00:12:28,531 --> 00:12:32,900 If you guys remember, one of the major reasons we got this bar was to get laid. 229 00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:36,248 Maybe you did it to get laid. I got a little something I like to call business ethics. 230 00:12:36,272 --> 00:12:40,641 Business ethics? The only reason you don't care is you have black girls hanging all over you. 231 00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:44,809 Okay, chill out. You're gonna screw it up. 232 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:47,747 Screw it up? I happen to have a date with a nice young lady today. 233 00:12:47,817 --> 00:12:50,445 - Ouch. - It's a purely fiscal decision. 234 00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:53,579 Oh, bullshit. You don't care about the money. You just like the attention. 235 00:12:53,656 --> 00:12:56,523 - What the hell is that supposed to mean? - "Everybody look at me!" 236 00:12:56,592 --> 00:12:58,492 You know exactly what I mean, pretty boy. 237 00:12:58,561 --> 00:13:00,461 - Hey, handsome. - Hey, beautiful. 238 00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:02,497 - Hey, sexy. - Hey, hoss. 239 00:13:02,565 --> 00:13:06,001 - I just get along really well with those guys. - They're vibing. 240 00:13:06,068 --> 00:13:09,799 No, you're leading them on. You're not gay, you're just really vain. 241 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:12,841 Okay, time out. Here's what we should do. Let's take a vote. 242 00:13:12,908 --> 00:13:14,842 - Fine. - Okay. 243 00:13:14,910 --> 00:13:18,175 All those in favor of Paddy's Pub remaining a gay bar, say "aye." 244 00:13:18,247 --> 00:13:20,181 - Aye. - Aye. Opposed? 245 00:13:20,249 --> 00:13:23,184 - K-K-Keeping in mind that you don't get a vote. - Why? 246 00:13:23,252 --> 00:13:26,665 - Because you're the bartender. You're not one of the owners. - No, Sweet Dee gets a vote. 247 00:13:26,689 --> 00:13:29,283 - No, she doesn't! - Of course I get a vote! 248 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,529 All owners opposed, say "nay." 249 00:13:34,597 --> 00:13:37,532 All people who own the bar who are opposed, say "nay." 250 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:40,467 All people who own the bar who are opposed... 251 00:13:40,536 --> 00:13:42,504 say "nay." 252 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,140 Nay. 253 00:13:46,208 --> 00:13:48,176 - Two against one! Oh, well. - Ohh! 254 00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:51,805 Paddy's Irish Pub will henceforth remain the hottest gay bar in Philadelphia. 255 00:14:04,059 --> 00:14:06,493 - Hey-hey! What's going on? - Hey! 256 00:14:06,562 --> 00:14:09,793 - Look at you! You look good! - Oh, thank you. That's so sweet. 257 00:14:09,865 --> 00:14:12,800 - So, where we going? - Well, I thought we'd go grab a drink. 258 00:14:12,868 --> 00:14:15,496 - Oh, I want one so bad. - All righty! 259 00:14:15,571 --> 00:14:17,732 Oh, a coffee shop. 260 00:14:17,807 --> 00:14:20,401 I thought you meant, like, a drink at a bar. 261 00:14:20,476 --> 00:14:23,309 Yeah, absolutely. Uh, why don't you have a seat here. 262 00:14:23,379 --> 00:14:26,314 I'll go get the coffee. What would you like? 263 00:14:26,382 --> 00:14:28,509 - I don't really drink coffee. Let me see. - Totally. 264 00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:35,522 What do you want, Charlie? 265 00:14:35,591 --> 00:14:37,559 "What do you want, Charlie?" 266 00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:40,561 I'd like you to take a look at the lovely young African-American woman... 267 00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:42,392 sitting at the table over there. 268 00:14:43,499 --> 00:14:45,228 Okay. 269 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,428 That woman is my friend. 270 00:14:47,503 --> 00:14:49,528 Wow. Good for you. 271 00:14:49,605 --> 00:14:52,540 So, the other day when you heard me saying something... 272 00:14:52,608 --> 00:14:55,042 about certain people hanging from said rafters... 273 00:14:55,110 --> 00:14:57,977 I was quoting a friend of mine who also happens... 274 00:14:58,047 --> 00:15:00,982 What are you trying to say? Spit it out. 275 00:15:01,050 --> 00:15:04,486 Well, now that you know that I'm not racist, you and I could maybe go on... 276 00:15:04,553 --> 00:15:06,487 Dude, N-O. 277 00:15:06,555 --> 00:15:09,490 - How many times do I have to say it to you? - One time is fine. 278 00:15:09,558 --> 00:15:13,756 - Apparently one time is not fine. - One time per time I ask you. 279 00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:15,922 Hey, what's going on up here? 280 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,966 Oh, not too much. 281 00:15:18,033 --> 00:15:22,402 Charlie's using you to prove that he's not racist. Then he asked me out on a date. 282 00:15:22,471 --> 00:15:25,201 Charlie, is this true? 283 00:15:27,243 --> 00:15:30,770 Would that upset you if it was something that was true? 284 00:15:32,882 --> 00:15:35,817 - You need to see a doctor. This thing looks really bad. - I did! 285 00:15:35,885 --> 00:15:39,321 - What'd he say? - He said that Janell punched me in my eye! 286 00:15:39,388 --> 00:15:42,323 All right, well, you need to keep that i... 287 00:15:42,391 --> 00:15:44,325 - Wait. Her name's Janell? - Yeah. 288 00:15:44,393 --> 00:15:47,328 Janell Jenkins. She's got a hell of a right hand. 289 00:15:47,396 --> 00:15:51,332 She also said if she ever saw me again, she was going to slit my throat. 290 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,732 Are you two seeing this? 291 00:15:54,803 --> 00:15:56,794 Boys are out tonight, huh? 292 00:15:57,940 --> 00:16:00,374 This is unbelievable. What is going on here? 293 00:16:00,442 --> 00:16:03,309 You got black women crawling all over you... 294 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,643 and this Mary here is the belle of the ball. 295 00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:08,774 - Why do these people like you guys so much? - It's not that they like us. 296 00:16:08,851 --> 00:16:11,786 It's that they don't like you. You know why? 297 00:16:11,854 --> 00:16:13,913 Uh, because you're an asshole! 298 00:16:16,959 --> 00:16:18,893 Is that true? 299 00:16:18,961 --> 00:16:20,895 Yeah, kind of. 300 00:16:20,963 --> 00:16:23,295 Can I talk to you in back for a second? 301 00:16:25,935 --> 00:16:29,371 - What's up? - You know that girl Janell? I know her. 302 00:16:29,438 --> 00:16:33,135 - Okay. So what? - So I think I know how we can solve this whole gay mess. 303 00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:35,369 Great. How? 304 00:16:35,444 --> 00:16:38,379 We gotta start with Dennis. Can you get him so drunk tonight? On tequila. 305 00:16:38,447 --> 00:16:41,507 But a lot of it. Enough that maybe he might hurt himself. 306 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:43,552 - Yeah, sure. No problem. - All right. 307 00:16:43,619 --> 00:16:47,180 - Where are you going? - I gotta talk to a couple friends from my acting class. 308 00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:49,884 But seriously... blackout drunk. 309 00:16:56,632 --> 00:16:58,566 All right. Okay. 310 00:16:58,634 --> 00:17:02,502 So you did the lime first, and then the shot, right? 311 00:17:02,571 --> 00:17:05,131 No. No, no, no, no. Dude. 312 00:17:05,207 --> 00:17:07,641 - You take the salt... - Take the salt. 313 00:17:07,710 --> 00:17:09,644 And then you take the shot. 314 00:17:09,712 --> 00:17:11,646 Okay. 315 00:17:11,714 --> 00:17:14,774 - And then you suck on the lime. Okay? - Okay. 316 00:17:14,850 --> 00:17:18,877 Why don't you show me again. 'Cause I'm getting a little bit confused. 317 00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:21,821 - You lick it. - Salt. Lick it. 318 00:17:21,890 --> 00:17:23,881 - And then you slam it. - Yeah? 319 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,700 Oh, that's great. 320 00:17:33,769 --> 00:17:36,237 All right, so, I'm gonna do the shot first... 321 00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:40,503 No, no, no, no... Oh... Oh, please, please, dude. You're not listening to me. 322 00:17:40,576 --> 00:17:42,510 Well, I'm just not getting it, bro. 323 00:17:42,578 --> 00:17:44,512 - You do the salt first. - The salt first. 324 00:17:44,580 --> 00:17:47,515 - And then the lime. - Show me again, because I'm not... 325 00:17:47,583 --> 00:17:50,313 The salt first. Then the lime. 326 00:18:06,402 --> 00:18:08,734 Oh, God. 327 00:18:13,909 --> 00:18:16,343 Hello. 328 00:18:16,412 --> 00:18:18,403 Mmm. 329 00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:23,917 Nice. 330 00:18:25,254 --> 00:18:27,415 Beautiful. 331 00:18:32,795 --> 00:18:34,729 Hello, lover. 332 00:18:34,797 --> 00:18:36,731 Whoa! 333 00:18:36,799 --> 00:18:39,529 What the hell! What is going on here? 334 00:18:39,601 --> 00:18:42,934 Relax, stud. You got nothing to be ashamed about. 335 00:18:43,005 --> 00:18:44,973 What the f... What does that mean? 336 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,598 - Did we have... - No. No. 337 00:18:46,675 --> 00:18:49,872 Don't be silly. It was all hands. 338 00:18:49,945 --> 00:18:52,675 How's that ass feelin'? 339 00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:57,982 I'm really glad you decided to embrace this. 340 00:18:58,053 --> 00:19:00,988 - You're doing the right thing, bro. - I think so too, dude. 341 00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:03,923 - I feel really good about broadening my horizons. - It's gonna be fun. 342 00:19:03,992 --> 00:19:06,017 - It's a good business decision. - Yeah! 343 00:19:06,095 --> 00:19:09,997 I don't want to own a gay bar anymore. 344 00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:12,693 What, dude? Oh, no. What happened? 345 00:19:12,768 --> 00:19:15,703 Just, uh... I was doing some thinking and, you know... 346 00:19:15,771 --> 00:19:19,229 We had our little experiment. It was great. But we should go back to normal. 347 00:19:19,308 --> 00:19:22,887 Oh. You had an experiment, and you want to go back to the way it was before the experiment. 348 00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:24,845 - Interesting. - The bar. 349 00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:28,576 We had our experiment with the bar, and it was great. Let's go back to normal. 350 00:19:28,650 --> 00:19:31,585 You're done experimenting? Or are you gonna experiment some more? 351 00:19:31,653 --> 00:19:34,213 - What is this experimenting? - Hey, Dennis! What's up? 352 00:19:34,289 --> 00:19:36,223 Listen, I got you some new CDs. 353 00:19:36,291 --> 00:19:39,886 'Cause the music you had in the jukebox was a little bit stale. 354 00:19:39,962 --> 00:19:42,226 Also, we gotta get rid of these shamrocks. 355 00:19:42,297 --> 00:19:45,232 'Cause nothing scares gays and black folks like Irish crap. 356 00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:48,463 - Can we talk for a second in private? - Yeah. No problem. 357 00:19:48,537 --> 00:19:52,405 So, listen, Terrell, it's not really working out. 358 00:19:52,474 --> 00:19:54,999 - We're gonna have to let you go. - I thought you were happy. 359 00:19:55,077 --> 00:19:59,810 No, we were happy. But then Dennis had an experiment, and he wants to go back to normal. 360 00:19:59,882 --> 00:20:03,579 Yeah, we had that experiment... Why do you keep saying it like that? 361 00:20:03,652 --> 00:20:05,552 You guys are being ridiculous. 362 00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:08,488 Yeah, we're being ridiculous! We're making a lot of money! 363 00:20:08,557 --> 00:20:11,117 - Yes! Thank you! - Look, everybody! Sweet Dee's here! 364 00:20:11,193 --> 00:20:14,128 - Hey, everybody! - Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing here? 365 00:20:14,196 --> 00:20:17,791 - Charlie? - What is going on here? You guys know each other? 366 00:20:17,866 --> 00:20:20,198 Yeah! That's the crazy bitch that punched me in my eye! 367 00:20:20,269 --> 00:20:22,601 Charlie! That's my sister. 368 00:20:24,807 --> 00:20:27,537 Now, just to clarify, when you say "sister," you mean... 369 00:20:27,609 --> 00:20:30,009 I mean my sister. 370 00:20:30,078 --> 00:20:32,069 Yes! Okay! This is great! 371 00:20:32,147 --> 00:20:35,776 Because earlier you were implying that I was racist... 372 00:20:35,851 --> 00:20:38,877 because you thought that I was implying that all black people are related. 373 00:20:38,954 --> 00:20:41,445 And then it turns out that you people actually are! 374 00:20:46,061 --> 00:20:50,054 No, that's not what I meant. Hold on a second. I meant that you two actually are. 375 00:20:50,132 --> 00:20:53,465 Mac? Stop talkin'. 376 00:20:58,307 --> 00:21:01,470 Hundred and 11, hundred and 12, hundred and 13... 377 00:21:01,543 --> 00:21:03,477 $114! 378 00:21:03,545 --> 00:21:05,479 - On a Saturday night! - We're back to normal. 379 00:21:05,547 --> 00:21:07,481 We are back to normal. 380 00:21:07,549 --> 00:21:09,483 Mmm. 381 00:21:09,551 --> 00:21:11,485 Dee, I gotta know. 382 00:21:11,553 --> 00:21:15,489 What, exactly, did you tell those guys from your acting class to do to Dennis? 383 00:21:15,557 --> 00:21:18,651 Oh, I forgot to tell you. That didn't work out. 384 00:21:18,727 --> 00:21:21,992 - What? - Yeah, I couldn't get ahold of those guys. 385 00:21:23,765 --> 00:21:26,097 Then why was he so freaked out? 386 00:21:26,168 --> 00:21:28,329 How's that ass feelin'? 32910

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.