Original subtitles

[School bell]

- Fag

- It was empty, you see...

- Tougher, hi.

Why don't you come all the way outside?

You don't have to always stand in the doorway like that.

How was school?

- Substandard.

Did you work today?

- No.

But when it rains, it pours. You know.

Is jonathan coming on Sunday?

- No, he... hmmm...

I don't think we're gonna be friends anymore.

- Hey

Do you think in the morning you look any different?

- Did you?

- Not till I turn 30.

- I'm gonna be back late from school tomorrow,

I've got drama class rehearsal.

Thy hair is horrible.

It is covered with mire and dust

It is like a knot of serpents coiled round thy neck

I love not thy hair...

- Oh holy hell!

Slow it down Christopher.

What are you reading from?

- Salome - Oscar Wilde

- They didn't have caffeine back then.

Would you slow it down a bit?

Holy hell!

- It is thy mouth that i desire, Iokanaan

and thy mouth is like a band of scarlet on a tower of ivory.

It is like a pomegranate...

[Music]

- I don't mean a drink...

- Ouch...I'm sorry...

- Oh my god! A baby! - I didn't mean...

- Oh my god if I had a piece of bacon and

some breadcrumbs you could be a shaken bait. - What?

- I mean, I thought you were someone else

I mean I thought you were someone other...

I'm sorry, I'm a little drunk.

You look familiar

- All right...out!

Get out of puberty and come on back.

- Christopher

I have to leave until Sunday.

It's only Pittsburgh.

I couldn't turn it down.

Do you remember Scott from New Jersey?

You met him at the city picnic, remember?

- He's a jerk - Yeah, but he's a nice kid

and so is his sister

and his parents are real nice too.

I've asked his father to watch you until Sunday.

He's not a jerk.

You won't have to play football or badminton or anything like...

- Mom, I'm almost 18 years old,

I don't need a guardian. - Stop it!

Honey, he's not a jerk.

It's his mother's fault.

She's sporty

[Music]

- Is that Altoids or is that gum?

You know

I have to get into the faces of my client sometimes

and I get so paranoid.

Tougher, hi.

This is Scott's father, Tom.

He's from New Zealand.

- Let's just nip this in the bud, sport.

That routine in the bar of mine, it wasn't appropriate.

I don't know what I was thinking.

I'd had a drink, you know,

and I don't know what you were doing there,

but I think it's probably best if you avoid those places

until you're out of school.

All right?

Here we go. All clear, out in the open, resolved.

So, are you going out today?

- Can i ask you a question? - Sure

- It's personal.

- Well, then it depends.

- I'm embarrassed. - What is it?

- I can't. - Go ahead.

- No, I don't know. - Just go ahead, sport.

- What is butt fuck like? - Go! Do your homework.

[Music]

- Eighteen.

- Hi

Your mother left some pretty precise notes here.

She's a stickler for detail your mother, yes siree!

Do you mind if I ask what this's about?

Did something happen?

So...?

So, do you want to talk about it, sport?

- About what?

- Whatever

- Hmm...?

- We are going to talk

about you and what you want, who you are.

Why were you in Flapjacks?

- TGIF - Come on, Christopher.

- I'm almost 18 and I've never been kissed.

- Bullshit!

- It's true. I've done other stuff but I've never been kissed

- Other stuff?

- Nothing, just fooling around.

It doesn't mean anything.

- If you're gay, your mother would accept it.

You should talk about it with her, sport

- Yeah, sure.

- I've been around a bit more than you have

- Well sure, you're from New Zealand.

- You don't wear the same shoes I do.

Your mother would accept it, she's enlightened and modern

- Is that why you're here

- I got myself in a bit of a hole.

I'm not gonna to bullshit you, Christopher.

I like to play around a bit

but I'm an adult and that's a choice I've made.

You've got better choices, much better choices, all right?

- You are going to kiss me. - Go and do your homework.

- I want my kiss, goddammit - No

- Closet queen

- Kiss me - I can't

- Then have a drink

- Hey, so you're gonna go out today?

- Oh! You'd like that, wouldn't you?

Well, keep dreaming.

I'm going to get my goddamn kiss from you

or I am twirling straight back to Flapjax

with no underwear on

because I am not turning 18 and not getting kissed

[Music]

- Christopher

- Call me Tougher

- Right. So champ, aren't you going out today at all?

- Negative

I don't really play well with others,

others of my age at least.

You want to come inside? - Sure

This is a nice room you've got here.

You've got a better than Scott.

His sister gets the larger room

- Do you think that I would look better with shorter hair

or should I grow it long?

I mean I'd look even gayer although if it was long, right?

Like Oscar Wilde

It feels nice though. You want to feel it?

- I believe you, sport.

- So go ahead and feel it. - No, that's alright.

- You're sure you don't want to feel my hair?

Or have a drink? - Quit it.

- My friend Janet believes that everybody has a type

I mean, she exclusively dates these big,

blocky football player types,

but most of them are functionally illiterate or dangerous.

Actually, a few are genuinely retarded.

Ugly Ernie for instance

used to play football but then,

well, he hurted somebody.

I mean that's how they found out he was retarded

because they ran all these tests and... - That's terrible

- Am I not your type or something?

I mean, am I too young or too gay or something?

Why won't anybody kiss me?

- You should get your first kiss from someone who loves you, Tougher.

Do it right.

- He won't kiss me

and you won't kiss me

I'm ugly?

I mean I'm so fucking gay

and I'm going to be 18 and I've never been kissed

and even retarded people who can't read get kissed.

I went in there because I wanted to get kissed.

- Guys like me,

we don't just want to kiss.

Do you understand what I'm saying, Tougher?

It's great to hear about this

- Promise me that I won't

be 18 and never been kissed.

- It's not your birthday yet.

- I love you too , but I've got to go.

- Alright - Okay

- Good morning

happy birthday

Come on, get ready

Don't you want a present?

[Music]

♫ You wish it was the way that it was ♫

♫ when it was the way that it was ♫

- Hey guess what?

It's my birthday tomorrow.

[Music]

♫ You wish it was the way that it was ♫

♫ when it was the way that it was ♫

♫ 'cause you can think of anything ♫

♫ except the way it was ♫

♫ It is enjoyment ♫

♫ It comes rushing back to you ♫

♫ The days of enjoyment they are not here ♫

[Music]

♫ You need some questions answered ♫

♫ cause you look so confused ♫

[Music]

♫ You wish it was the way that it was ♫

♫ when the days were bright and free ♫

♫ That was fine for yesterday ♫

♫ those days

♫ The days of involvement ♫

♫ the days of enjoyment ♫

♫ the days of ♫