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1
00:00:00,935 --> 00:00:04,402
[ cheers and applause ]
2
00:00:04,404 --> 00:00:06,671
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah!
Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi!
3
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:10,809
I'm trish. This is my
partner-in-crime suze.
4
00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:13,077
Hyuh! And I'm suze!
5
00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:15,880
And this is
"morning mimosa!"
6
00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:18,216
[ cheers and applause ]
7
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,019
We've got a hell of a show
planned for you today.
8
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:23,088
Mayor garfield
will be on later
9
00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:25,758
For a game of
suck and blow.
10
00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:27,492
[ audience oohs ]
11
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:30,028
As well as the world's
youngest blackbelt!
12
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,164
[ audience awws ]
and get this!
13
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:35,367
She knows all the
state capitals by heart!
14
00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:38,303
What a remarkable
little dork, right?
15
00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:40,372
And lastly,
your favorite and ours,
16
00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:42,507
Todd fox will be
joining us again
17
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:46,979
With his collection
of exotic animals!
18
00:00:47,113 --> 00:00:49,047
[ audience howling ]
19
00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:50,382
Speaking of...
20
00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:51,984
We want to take a minute
up front
21
00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:54,052
To issue
a public apology.
22
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:54,987
Uh-oh.
23
00:00:55,122 --> 00:00:57,656
We got a lot of letters
24
00:00:57,658 --> 00:01:00,058
From animal-rights
watchdogs last week,
25
00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:03,996
And suze would like
to say a deep-down sorry
26
00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:05,998
For eating
that rare butterfly.
27
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,599
I thought
it was a hummingbird.
28
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:10,335
Okay.
On with the show!
29
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:12,404
Producer charlie,
please pull up the map.
30
00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:15,674
Let's get an early-bird
look at today's...
31
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:20,945
Trish, suze, and audience:
D! U! I! Checkpoints!
32
00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:22,681
Hi.
Charlie greenfield.
33
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:25,484
That's you. Not me.
Hayley smith is me.
34
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:28,020
Intern.
Starting today.
Intern?
35
00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:29,954
For my journalism class
at groff.
36
00:01:29,956 --> 00:01:33,291
Listen. We don't really
do journalism here.
37
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,228
News is dark and dreary.
Boo!
38
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:38,163
No fun first thing
in the morning.
39
00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:41,033
What we do is...This.
40
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:43,368
You voted,
and we listened.
41
00:01:43,503 --> 00:01:46,238
All week, trish will
be doing the show...
42
00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:48,573
From a papasan!
43
00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:51,844
Whee!
I'm spilling!
44
00:01:51,978 --> 00:01:54,846
♪♪
45
00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:57,582
♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪
46
00:01:57,584 --> 00:02:00,719
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
47
00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:03,922
♪ the sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
48
00:02:04,058 --> 00:02:08,527
♪ and he's shinin' a salute
to the american race ♪
49
00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:13,665
♪ oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
50
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,068
♪ good -- ♪
♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪
51
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:17,436
Aah!
52
00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:21,673
♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪
53
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:24,542
Trish:
Whee! I'm spilling!
54
00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:27,145
Steve: Oh, my god!
I want to die.
55
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,813
Why am I throwing up tar?!
56
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:31,950
It's food poisoning!
We all caught it!
57
00:02:32,086 --> 00:02:34,619
Klaus: It's hard to pin down
exactly what caused it,
58
00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:36,955
But I'm leaning toward
the giant wok
59
00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:39,758
Of squid-ink paella
we made last night.
60
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,226
[ vomits ]
61
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:44,028
Okay. Did a quick inventory
of our rations,
62
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:47,699
And we've got zero sports
drinks, ginger ale, or saltines.
63
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,769
What we do have are
62 tupperware containers
64
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,237
Of squid-ink paella.
65
00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:54,106
I threw out everything else
to make room.
66
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,976
You gotta remember -- at
the time, we loved the paella.
67
00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,844
[ steve grunting ]
68
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,313
I don't wanna
sound dramatic,
69
00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:03,248
But if we don't get
some electrolytes soon,
70
00:03:03,383 --> 00:03:05,383
Things could get
pretty dire around here.
71
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,419
[ jeff whistling ]
72
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:13,258
Jeff! Did you eat
the paella last night?!
73
00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:15,260
Nope. Hayley and I
went out to dinner
74
00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:17,129
To celebrate
her new internship.
75
00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:18,463
We're saved!
76
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:20,398
I did have some
for breakfast.
77
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,201
Did you guys know it's the
only food in the kitchen?
78
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,803
Jeff. Run!
79
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:28,540
You have 10, maybe 12
minutes before you turn!
80
00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:32,877
You need to buy as much
gatorade as you can carry!
81
00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,412
You're our only hope!
82
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:37,416
You can count on me,
mrs. S!
83
00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:40,619
[ dog barking ]
84
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:43,221
Whoa! New dog
in the neighborhood!
85
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,623
[chuckling]
oh, oh! Oh-hoo!
86
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,758
You're a friendly guy,
aren't cha?
87
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,694
You're kinda small
for a basset hound.
88
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,295
You got a little chihuahua
in ya, too?
89
00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:53,498
Jeff!
Klaus: You [bleep]
90
00:03:57,384 --> 00:03:58,783
Don't mean to interrupt.
91
00:03:58,919 --> 00:04:01,186
Just wanted to meet
my co-workers.
92
00:04:01,188 --> 00:04:02,654
Hayley smith, intern.
93
00:04:02,789 --> 00:04:04,789
I heard you're having
mayor garfield on later.
94
00:04:04,925 --> 00:04:07,258
Seems like maybe a good
opportunity to ask him
95
00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:09,460
About the sorry state
of basketball courts
96
00:04:09,462 --> 00:04:10,729
In our public parks.
97
00:04:10,864 --> 00:04:13,532
Charlie! This one's
talking to me!
98
00:04:14,601 --> 00:04:15,867
Did you see that?
99
00:04:16,002 --> 00:04:18,337
It looked me
right in the face!
100
00:04:18,471 --> 00:04:20,005
What are you doing?!
101
00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:22,073
You don't talk to the talent.
What did you say to them?
102
00:04:22,075 --> 00:04:24,142
I mentioned mayor garfield
hasn't been keeping
103
00:04:24,277 --> 00:04:25,544
His campaign promi--
no!
104
00:04:25,679 --> 00:04:28,213
No, no, no, no, no!
I said no journalism!
105
00:04:28,348 --> 00:04:30,749
Well, surely a little
journalism can't hurt.
106
00:04:30,884 --> 00:04:34,419
[ growls ] this show.
It's light. It's bubbly.
107
00:04:34,555 --> 00:04:37,088
It goes down smooth
like a mimosa!
108
00:04:37,224 --> 00:04:39,558
And right now you --
you're like a-a wasp
109
00:04:39,693 --> 00:04:41,492
Hovering around
that mimosa.
110
00:04:41,494 --> 00:04:43,562
You're annoying,
and you don't understand
111
00:04:43,696 --> 00:04:45,697
That this is our picnic!
112
00:04:45,832 --> 00:04:48,099
I just want to try and do
some good while I'm here.
113
00:04:48,235 --> 00:04:51,502
Good. Then I have
the perfect job for you.
114
00:04:52,105 --> 00:04:55,440
Now, I understand
you love clowns.
115
00:04:55,442 --> 00:04:58,709
No. Towns.
State capitals.
116
00:04:58,711 --> 00:05:00,245
I hate clowns.
117
00:05:00,380 --> 00:05:02,047
"clowns"?
That's my cue!
118
00:05:02,715 --> 00:05:03,915
Hyah!
[ audience cheering ]
119
00:05:03,917 --> 00:05:07,819
Cheyenne! Lincoln!
Dover! Olympia!
120
00:05:08,722 --> 00:05:09,788
What are you in for?
121
00:05:09,923 --> 00:05:11,055
Attacked by
a small child.
122
00:05:11,057 --> 00:05:12,924
Small monkey.
I'm todd fox.
123
00:05:12,926 --> 00:05:14,459
I know.
I'm a massive fan!
124
00:05:14,595 --> 00:05:15,726
Why, thank you!
125
00:05:15,728 --> 00:05:16,995
Of your octopus,
kristoff.
126
00:05:17,130 --> 00:05:19,530
Oh. Well, you can
meet him if you like.
127
00:05:19,666 --> 00:05:21,600
Are you serious?!
Of course!
128
00:05:21,734 --> 00:05:22,667
He goes everywhere
with me.
129
00:05:22,803 --> 00:05:24,803
Kristoff!
[ whirring ]
130
00:05:24,938 --> 00:05:26,537
Kristoff, say hello.
131
00:05:26,673 --> 00:05:27,738
[robotic voice]
hello.
132
00:05:27,740 --> 00:05:30,675
Lady nice. Lady sad?
133
00:05:30,811 --> 00:05:33,011
Kristoff!
No, it's okay.
134
00:05:33,146 --> 00:05:35,746
I am feeling
a little down.
What's the trouble?
135
00:05:35,748 --> 00:05:37,482
I came here thinking
it was a chance
136
00:05:37,484 --> 00:05:39,150
To get my foot
in the door.
137
00:05:39,152 --> 00:05:41,286
But now I realize
how stupid that was.
138
00:05:41,421 --> 00:05:43,221
Well, that's
extremely vague.
139
00:05:43,356 --> 00:05:46,291
But my advice -- if you find
yourself tied to something
140
00:05:46,426 --> 00:05:49,027
That makes you unhappy,
cut it loose and walk away.
141
00:05:49,162 --> 00:05:52,297
Huh.
Well, thank you, mr. Fox.
142
00:05:52,299 --> 00:05:53,832
Please.
Call me todd fox.
143
00:05:53,967 --> 00:05:55,900
Intern!
There you are!
144
00:05:55,902 --> 00:05:57,235
We need to get you
out of that sling
145
00:05:57,370 --> 00:05:59,170
And into your
tortilla-chip costume.
146
00:05:59,306 --> 00:06:02,307
We're five minutes away from
the piping-hot queso high dive!
147
00:06:02,309 --> 00:06:04,108
Medical team
on standby?!
148
00:06:04,110 --> 00:06:07,578
Nope. Can't do it.
Todd fox is right.
149
00:06:07,714 --> 00:06:09,848
Gotta cut this loose
and walk away.
150
00:06:09,983 --> 00:06:12,984
I can just take the journalism
class again next year.
151
00:06:13,119 --> 00:06:14,119
What's this?
152
00:06:14,254 --> 00:06:17,856
"todd fox's first wife
was murdered.
153
00:06:17,991 --> 00:06:19,791
Follow the money, hayley."
154
00:06:19,926 --> 00:06:21,460
[ gasps ] I'm hayley!
155
00:06:21,594 --> 00:06:23,261
Oh, my god!
156
00:06:23,396 --> 00:06:24,963
Journalism.
157
00:06:29,136 --> 00:06:30,468
Out of the way!
158
00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:31,736
Bombshell
coming through!
159
00:06:31,871 --> 00:06:33,538
She's overselling
herself.
160
00:06:33,673 --> 00:06:35,272
She's a six
on a good day.
161
00:06:35,274 --> 00:06:37,675
Okay. Look. I know
you guys don't do news,
162
00:06:37,811 --> 00:06:41,078
But todd fox might have
murdered his first wife!
163
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,214
You have to dig into this
before he's on the show!
164
00:06:43,350 --> 00:06:46,083
We don't have to do anything.
I'm not touching that.
165
00:06:46,219 --> 00:06:48,153
How do we know
you didn't write it?
166
00:06:48,288 --> 00:06:49,754
[ hiccups ]
yeah!
167
00:06:49,889 --> 00:06:52,624
How do we know it wasn't
you who got murdered?
168
00:06:52,759 --> 00:06:54,826
What?
Charlie: Intern!
169
00:06:54,961 --> 00:06:58,295
I thought I told you to
stop pestering the stars.
170
00:06:58,297 --> 00:06:59,630
And what is this?
171
00:06:59,632 --> 00:07:02,567
Ah-ha!
Just as I suspected.
172
00:07:02,702 --> 00:07:03,901
A scoop.
173
00:07:04,037 --> 00:07:05,837
If it's true,
it's huge news.
174
00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:07,772
Wait. Really?
Well, in that case
175
00:07:07,907 --> 00:07:09,174
Call the freaking gazette
176
00:07:09,309 --> 00:07:11,376
Because that's not
what we do here!
177
00:07:11,511 --> 00:07:13,644
Drop it!
Or you're fired
178
00:07:13,646 --> 00:07:15,713
And I'll see to it
that you never work
179
00:07:15,849 --> 00:07:18,183
In brunch-time
television again!
180
00:07:18,318 --> 00:07:19,651
Okay.
181
00:07:19,786 --> 00:07:21,652
Besides, you really
think these two
182
00:07:21,654 --> 00:07:25,456
Are even capable of handling
your alleged "bombshell"?
183
00:07:25,592 --> 00:07:26,924
Look at 'em!
184
00:07:27,060 --> 00:07:29,727
All this is making me
want a churro bad.
185
00:07:29,863 --> 00:07:31,863
Bring in
the churrodillo!
186
00:07:31,998 --> 00:07:33,598
[ cheers and applause ]
187
00:07:33,733 --> 00:07:36,734
♪ I'm too sexy for my shirt,
too sexy for my shirt ♪
188
00:07:36,736 --> 00:07:40,738
Suze: Yeah, work it,
churrodillo! Work it!
189
00:07:40,874 --> 00:07:43,208
The kitchen is off limits
forever now,
190
00:07:43,342 --> 00:07:45,342
And I don't want to
talk about why.
191
00:07:45,344 --> 00:07:47,945
Klaus: Could I at least sneak in
quickly and change out my water?
192
00:07:47,947 --> 00:07:49,814
The kitchen is gone,
klaus!
193
00:07:49,949 --> 00:07:52,350
Klaus: Well, I'm sure jeff
will be home any minute
194
00:07:52,485 --> 00:07:53,818
And we'll all be saved.
195
00:07:53,953 --> 00:07:56,554
Jeff is dead in a ditch
somewhere covered in ink.
196
00:07:56,556 --> 00:07:57,955
I feel it in my bones.
197
00:07:57,957 --> 00:08:00,025
It's time
to accept the fact
198
00:08:00,159 --> 00:08:03,360
That none of us are
coming back from this.
199
00:08:03,362 --> 00:08:07,031
[ bell jingling ]
200
00:08:07,166 --> 00:08:09,434
Steve: Snack cart!
He's got drinks!
201
00:08:09,569 --> 00:08:10,902
We're saved!
202
00:08:10,904 --> 00:08:13,771
Steve! You have to
signal him!
203
00:08:13,773 --> 00:08:16,241
Klaus:
Don't let him get away!
204
00:08:17,110 --> 00:08:19,577
Wha-- aah!
Wha-- uh-- wha--
205
00:08:19,579 --> 00:08:20,879
[ explosion ]
206
00:08:23,783 --> 00:08:25,583
Roger:
Did he see you, steve?
207
00:08:25,718 --> 00:08:30,121
♪♪
208
00:08:30,257 --> 00:08:31,856
Hayley:
This is such good journalism.
209
00:08:31,991 --> 00:08:34,191
I am doing the shit
out of this journalism.
210
00:08:34,327 --> 00:08:36,994
Is that
my microfiche reader?!
211
00:08:36,996 --> 00:08:39,330
You're still researching
todd fox, aren't yo--
212
00:08:39,466 --> 00:08:42,333
Jesus! Are those
my sour twizzlers, too?!
213
00:08:42,469 --> 00:08:45,002
Those were in my car!
My locked car!
214
00:08:45,138 --> 00:08:46,671
[ slurps and gulps ]
215
00:08:46,806 --> 00:08:48,339
[ chuckles ]
216
00:08:48,341 --> 00:08:51,742
You got big ovaries, kid.
I'll give you that.
217
00:08:51,744 --> 00:08:53,478
You know,
I did, too, once.
218
00:08:53,613 --> 00:08:56,013
God, it seems like
another lifetime now.
[ harp twinkles ]
219
00:08:56,149 --> 00:08:58,950
I'll tell you about it
after I nuke this toilet.
220
00:08:58,952 --> 00:09:01,486
[ grunts ]
ahh...
221
00:09:01,621 --> 00:09:02,753
Done.
222
00:09:02,755 --> 00:09:05,090
The year was 17 -- for me.
223
00:09:05,224 --> 00:09:07,224
For some others, it was
likely a different age.
224
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,160
Trish and I were
paired up at random
225
00:09:09,162 --> 00:09:12,029
By our broadcast
journalism teacher.
226
00:09:12,165 --> 00:09:14,231
We were a great team
from the start.
227
00:09:14,367 --> 00:09:18,035
Our first exposé blew the lid
off local corruption!
228
00:09:18,171 --> 00:09:20,171
Earning us a b-plus
in the class.
229
00:09:20,173 --> 00:09:22,440
It was one of those teachers
who doesn't give a's,
230
00:09:22,575 --> 00:09:24,575
Based on some
misguided principle.
231
00:09:24,711 --> 00:09:25,910
No, I don't give a's.
232
00:09:26,045 --> 00:09:28,313
Because of my
misguided principles.
233
00:09:28,447 --> 00:09:31,716
After our first big scoop,
we were hooked.
234
00:09:31,851 --> 00:09:34,051
Just two more kids in america
235
00:09:34,053 --> 00:09:37,188
Falling recklessly in love
with the news!
236
00:09:37,324 --> 00:09:40,725
Early reports indicate
thousands injured or missing.
237
00:09:40,860 --> 00:09:42,860
We're not finished
doing the news!
238
00:09:42,862 --> 00:09:44,195
[ soldiers scream ]
239
00:09:44,331 --> 00:09:48,265
Eventually we landed
our own tv news hour.
240
00:09:48,267 --> 00:09:49,534
Trish: But we were young
and didn't know
241
00:09:49,669 --> 00:09:51,536
The dark side
of the industry yet.
242
00:09:51,671 --> 00:09:53,938
Hi, suze. I also had to
use the bathroom,
243
00:09:54,073 --> 00:09:55,606
So I can help
with this story, too!
244
00:09:55,608 --> 00:09:58,543
Test groups find the two
of you intimidating.
245
00:09:58,678 --> 00:10:02,347
I was thinking maybe we cash
in those dusty old pantsuits
246
00:10:02,481 --> 00:10:04,815
For something that shows
a little more leg.
247
00:10:04,817 --> 00:10:06,751
And, trish,
lose the glasses.
248
00:10:06,886 --> 00:10:08,553
No one likes chicks
who can see good.
249
00:10:08,688 --> 00:10:11,088
I just think we could
get more eyeballs
250
00:10:11,224 --> 00:10:12,623
If we added
a simple game.
251
00:10:12,759 --> 00:10:15,693
I promise it won't compromise
your credibility.
252
00:10:15,695 --> 00:10:18,495
I'm not asking you to play
twister with gore vidal.
253
00:10:18,497 --> 00:10:20,297
Just something
to loosen everyone up.
254
00:10:20,433 --> 00:10:21,766
Think casual.
255
00:10:21,901 --> 00:10:24,369
And maybe a drink in your hand
to grease the wheels?
256
00:10:24,503 --> 00:10:25,570
[ fingers snap ]
257
00:10:25,705 --> 00:10:29,774
♪♪
258
00:10:29,909 --> 00:10:32,043
[ cheers and applause ]
259
00:10:32,178 --> 00:10:34,412
[ trish giggling ]
260
00:10:35,849 --> 00:10:37,582
And now we're here.
261
00:10:37,717 --> 00:10:39,717
Wow.
I had no idea.
262
00:10:39,719 --> 00:10:43,520
That is so, so...
Perfect!
263
00:10:43,522 --> 00:10:47,124
It is?
Maybe I told it wrong.
264
00:10:47,126 --> 00:10:48,525
Don't you see?
265
00:10:48,527 --> 00:10:50,661
You two aren't just
aging, cookie-cutter,
266
00:10:50,663 --> 00:10:53,530
Empty-calorie, talentless,
mid-tier beauties!
267
00:10:53,532 --> 00:10:54,799
Ouch!
Jesus!
268
00:10:54,934 --> 00:10:56,267
You've got chops!
269
00:10:56,403 --> 00:10:58,269
You were real-deal
journalists once!
270
00:10:58,405 --> 00:11:00,205
And you can be that again --
right now.
271
00:11:00,339 --> 00:11:03,140
[ inhales sharply ]
I don't know.
272
00:11:03,142 --> 00:11:06,411
Just listen to this juice
I dug up on todd fox.
273
00:11:06,545 --> 00:11:08,279
His wife was
a wealthy heiress,
274
00:11:08,415 --> 00:11:10,415
And they married
after only two months.
275
00:11:10,549 --> 00:11:12,883
Then she died under
mysterious circumstances
276
00:11:12,885 --> 00:11:16,087
When her zip-lining harness
"gave out" on their honeymoon.
277
00:11:16,222 --> 00:11:19,290
Boom -- todd fox inherited
her whole fortune
278
00:11:19,426 --> 00:11:21,358
And has been
slowly draining it
279
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,428
To buy more exotic animals
and build his brand.
280
00:11:23,563 --> 00:11:25,229
The note was right.
281
00:11:25,364 --> 00:11:28,165
It really looks like
he murdered her.
You know what else?
282
00:11:28,301 --> 00:11:30,101
He hooked up with me
after the christmas party
283
00:11:30,236 --> 00:11:33,238
Last year even though
he saw me throw up twice.
284
00:11:33,372 --> 00:11:36,507
And I actually
threw up five times.
285
00:11:36,509 --> 00:11:39,910
You two have a real chance
to blindside him today.
286
00:11:39,912 --> 00:11:41,312
He won't see it coming --
287
00:11:41,314 --> 00:11:43,648
Not on "morning mimosa!"
and not from you.
288
00:11:43,783 --> 00:11:47,051
Please! Journalism was your
dream, and now it's mine.
289
00:11:47,186 --> 00:11:49,987
Do it for all the kids
like me watching at home.
290
00:11:49,989 --> 00:11:52,056
Wait.
How old are you?
291
00:11:52,191 --> 00:11:54,058
'cause you look
like you're 35.
292
00:11:54,193 --> 00:11:56,327
No. We can't.
Todd fox is beloved.
293
00:11:56,463 --> 00:11:58,395
It's career suicide.
I'm sorry, intern.
294
00:11:58,397 --> 00:11:59,864
I never actually
learned your name.
295
00:11:59,999 --> 00:12:03,134
Charlie is right about us.
We can't do news anymore.
296
00:12:03,269 --> 00:12:07,138
We changed, and you will, too,
when you grow up. More.
297
00:12:07,273 --> 00:12:09,474
Okay. We should
really get back.
298
00:12:09,608 --> 00:12:12,343
I think it's been about eight
minutes of dead air out there.
299
00:12:12,345 --> 00:12:14,679
Lionfish! Bike tire!
[ audience oohing ]
300
00:12:14,814 --> 00:12:17,482
Rabbit! Fanny pack!
301
00:12:17,617 --> 00:12:18,816
Seal!
302
00:12:18,818 --> 00:12:20,685
[laughing] shut up!
303
00:12:20,820 --> 00:12:22,153
That's the one I meant!
304
00:12:22,288 --> 00:12:24,255
[ cheers and applause ]
305
00:12:26,159 --> 00:12:28,693
Charlie: Cash in
those dusty pantsuits
306
00:12:28,828 --> 00:12:31,028
For something that shows
a little more leg.
307
00:12:31,030 --> 00:12:32,763
[ heart thumping ]
308
00:12:32,765 --> 00:12:35,166
And maybe a drink in your hand
to grease the wheels?
309
00:12:35,301 --> 00:12:37,602
[ heart thumping ]
310
00:12:41,307 --> 00:12:44,641
Todd fox!
I'm dyin' to know.
311
00:12:44,643 --> 00:12:48,179
Do any of your animals
mate for life?
312
00:12:48,314 --> 00:12:50,515
Oh, sure. My shingleback
lizards are a prime --
313
00:12:50,650 --> 00:12:53,784
And where do you stand
on that philosophy?
I'm sorry?
314
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:55,452
'til death do you part.
315
00:12:55,588 --> 00:12:57,188
What's your take on that?
316
00:12:57,190 --> 00:12:59,323
Well, I'd say those
shingleback lizards
317
00:12:59,458 --> 00:13:00,791
Never met
my last wife!
318
00:13:00,927 --> 00:13:02,259
[ laughter ]
319
00:13:02,395 --> 00:13:05,129
And what about
your first wife?
320
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,600
Oh. My. God.
321
00:13:09,602 --> 00:13:11,736
[ chuckles nervously ]
what are you doing?
322
00:13:11,871 --> 00:13:14,071
I made it clear to your
producer I don't talk about her.
323
00:13:14,073 --> 00:13:15,472
Oh, come on!
324
00:13:15,474 --> 00:13:17,742
The first woman
to land todd fox?
325
00:13:17,877 --> 00:13:21,345
I bet our audience
would love to know her secret!
326
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,214
[ audience howling ]
327
00:13:23,349 --> 00:13:25,350
[ sighs ] she was
the love of my life.
328
00:13:25,484 --> 00:13:27,552
Speaking of love,
I brought two lovely
329
00:13:27,686 --> 00:13:29,220
Little squirrel monkeys
today,
330
00:13:29,222 --> 00:13:30,955
And one of them can
actually read and write!
331
00:13:31,090 --> 00:13:33,290
The other one, well,
he just isn't getting it.
332
00:13:33,426 --> 00:13:35,226
So it wasn't
her money?
333
00:13:35,228 --> 00:13:37,762
Hey. Come on. Are
we here to talk about
dead relationships
334
00:13:37,897 --> 00:13:40,965
Or see a squirrel monkey get
tangled up in trish's hair?
335
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:43,834
Fascinating
choice of words.
336
00:13:43,836 --> 00:13:46,303
"dead relationships."
337
00:13:46,305 --> 00:13:48,105
Please don't do this.
338
00:13:48,241 --> 00:13:50,641
Bring up the
newspaper, please!
339
00:13:50,777 --> 00:13:54,311
Is that her, todd?
She's gorgeous.
340
00:13:54,447 --> 00:13:57,047
Oh, god. I've never
even seen these.
341
00:13:57,049 --> 00:13:58,515
Is that the moment?
342
00:13:58,651 --> 00:14:01,118
You tell us. It was
your honeymoon.
343
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,588
An heiress.
Wow!
344
00:14:03,723 --> 00:14:06,257
What happened to
her money after that?
345
00:14:06,259 --> 00:14:08,459
I...Took over
the estate.
346
00:14:08,595 --> 00:14:11,596
And how much
do bald eagles cost?
347
00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:14,331
All your animals must
have been a small fortune.
348
00:14:14,467 --> 00:14:16,200
I don't think I like
what you're implying.
349
00:14:16,335 --> 00:14:18,735
Then I'll stop implying
and ask.
350
00:14:18,737 --> 00:14:22,173
Todd fox, did you
murder your wife?
351
00:14:24,076 --> 00:14:25,676
I didn't kill my wife!
352
00:14:25,678 --> 00:14:27,945
Do you notice anything
missing from those pictures?
353
00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:31,148
It's me! I didn't even make it
to costa rica because...
354
00:14:31,284 --> 00:14:33,951
I got such severe food
poisoning on the layover
355
00:14:33,953 --> 00:14:35,419
I had to be hospitalized.
356
00:14:35,554 --> 00:14:38,422
I slipped in and out of
a diarrhea coma for weeks!
357
00:14:38,557 --> 00:14:40,157
I have
the hospital records!
358
00:14:40,159 --> 00:14:42,159
I'd never kill her!
I loved her!
359
00:14:42,295 --> 00:14:43,894
[ sobbing ]
360
00:14:44,030 --> 00:14:45,229
[ sobbing ]
361
00:14:45,364 --> 00:14:48,098
This has hayley
written all over it.
362
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:49,967
Oh, no.
[ audience booing ]
363
00:14:49,969 --> 00:14:51,235
[ glass shattering ]
364
00:14:51,370 --> 00:14:53,204
Commercial!
Throw to commercial!
365
00:14:56,042 --> 00:14:57,574
[ audience booing ]
welp, that's our careers.
366
00:14:57,710 --> 00:14:59,443
Good run, ladies.
Hope it was worth it.
367
00:14:59,578 --> 00:15:01,445
Sir! Please!
It was all my fault!
368
00:15:01,580 --> 00:15:03,914
Oh, it's your fault?!
Oh, fantastic!
369
00:15:04,050 --> 00:15:06,783
I'll just go tell the network
that it wasn't trish and suze
370
00:15:06,785 --> 00:15:10,587
Who accused a national treasure
of murder on live tv.
371
00:15:10,589 --> 00:15:13,390
It was you with
your hand up their asses!
372
00:15:13,392 --> 00:15:15,459
It's not that bad,
charlie.
373
00:15:15,594 --> 00:15:17,794
We can fix it
after the break.
374
00:15:17,930 --> 00:15:19,863
You think I'm letting you
go back out there?!
375
00:15:19,998 --> 00:15:21,398
You're done!
376
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,267
I'm running "macgyver"
the rest of the day.
377
00:15:23,402 --> 00:15:25,001
Come one!
Did you guys give up
378
00:15:25,137 --> 00:15:28,138
When suze electrocuted
ryan reynolds
with a car battery?
379
00:15:28,941 --> 00:15:31,141
Did you call it quits
when suze tricked
380
00:15:31,143 --> 00:15:32,743
Michelle obama
into eating peanuts
381
00:15:32,745 --> 00:15:34,211
To see if her allergy
was fake?
382
00:15:34,346 --> 00:15:36,747
It is always you,
isn't it?
383
00:15:36,749 --> 00:15:39,616
All we need is
the fluffiest, sweetest,
384
00:15:39,752 --> 00:15:42,419
Bubbliest apology segment
you've ever done.
385
00:15:42,554 --> 00:15:44,821
I've learned my lesson.
Screw journalism!
386
00:15:44,957 --> 00:15:46,957
Put me in the bikini!
Give me a mimosa!
387
00:15:46,959 --> 00:15:51,227
Ahh. Oh, god. That's
actually really nice.
388
00:15:51,229 --> 00:15:54,831
If we can get todd fox back
out there, she might be right.
389
00:15:54,967 --> 00:15:57,301
But I'm warning you!
Stick to the cards!
390
00:15:57,436 --> 00:15:59,436
Anything different,
and you'll be hosting
391
00:15:59,571 --> 00:16:01,505
Another trish and suze
booze cruise
392
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:04,108
From port lewes
to santa cruz!
393
00:16:04,242 --> 00:16:05,375
[ applause ]
394
00:16:05,511 --> 00:16:06,843
Welcome back!
395
00:16:06,979 --> 00:16:09,313
If you were around
for our last segment,
396
00:16:09,448 --> 00:16:12,650
You might assume we're
cooking up some crow!
397
00:16:13,986 --> 00:16:15,452
Nope, trish.
398
00:16:15,454 --> 00:16:17,121
Today we're going to
teach everyone at home
399
00:16:17,256 --> 00:16:18,789
How to make
apology sugar cookies
400
00:16:18,791 --> 00:16:21,257
For our dear friend
todd fox.
401
00:16:21,259 --> 00:16:22,726
But things
could get interesting
402
00:16:22,861 --> 00:16:28,132
Because we'll be trying
to do it in sumo suuuuits!
403
00:16:28,266 --> 00:16:31,267
[ audience member coughs ]
can we at least
take those down?
404
00:16:31,269 --> 00:16:33,804
Of course.
So sorry, todd fox.
405
00:16:33,806 --> 00:16:36,873
Okay! Now, nothing
says "I'm sorry"
406
00:16:36,875 --> 00:16:38,008
Better than butter.
407
00:16:38,144 --> 00:16:39,743
Hang on. Put it back up.
408
00:16:39,878 --> 00:16:41,779
[ audience gasps ]
409
00:16:43,482 --> 00:16:45,883
I know that
fanny pack.
410
00:16:48,821 --> 00:16:51,155
Holy [bleep].
It's kristoff!
411
00:16:51,289 --> 00:16:52,689
Back to commercial!
412
00:16:52,691 --> 00:16:55,425
So the octopus was
the fanny pack, right?
413
00:16:55,561 --> 00:16:57,227
And in the photo
where she falls,
414
00:16:57,229 --> 00:16:59,429
The fanny pack
is gone -- look!
415
00:16:59,565 --> 00:17:01,698
[ dramatic music plays ]
416
00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:04,300
So what are we saying?
That kristoff killed her?
417
00:17:04,302 --> 00:17:08,238
The only way to prove it
is to force a confession.
418
00:17:08,374 --> 00:17:11,041
We've gotta
grill the octopus.
419
00:17:11,177 --> 00:17:12,509
Are you sure
you want to do this?
420
00:17:12,644 --> 00:17:13,978
You could
just back out now,
421
00:17:14,112 --> 00:17:15,379
Go back to how
things were.
422
00:17:15,514 --> 00:17:17,247
I honestly don't think
I can.
423
00:17:17,383 --> 00:17:18,715
Me neither.
424
00:17:18,717 --> 00:17:20,050
If we're gonna
blow up our career,
425
00:17:20,186 --> 00:17:22,252
It should be for something
we're proud of.
426
00:17:22,388 --> 00:17:24,388
Charlie! How long
until we're back?!
427
00:17:24,523 --> 00:17:26,190
We're not going back on!
428
00:17:26,325 --> 00:17:29,726
I'm not letting you hurt
america's sweetheart anymore.
429
00:17:29,862 --> 00:17:32,062
Where's the one where
"macgyver" blows up a plane?
430
00:17:32,064 --> 00:17:33,263
That's a good one.
431
00:17:33,265 --> 00:17:34,598
Hayley:
We're back in ten!
432
00:17:34,733 --> 00:17:36,333
I knocked out
the board operator!
433
00:17:36,468 --> 00:17:38,468
He was helping us!
434
00:17:38,604 --> 00:17:40,204
Oh. Well, he's...
435
00:17:40,339 --> 00:17:42,939
Okay. He's bleeding pretty bad.
436
00:17:42,941 --> 00:17:44,474
[ applause ]
437
00:17:44,610 --> 00:17:48,745
Kristoff, how long
have you known todd fox?
438
00:17:48,747 --> 00:17:50,681
Kristoff:
Kristoff's whole life.
439
00:17:50,816 --> 00:17:54,618
But heart feels
it has known him longer.
440
00:17:54,753 --> 00:17:56,220
[ audience awws ]
shh!
441
00:17:56,354 --> 00:17:59,022
You'd do anything
for him, wouldn't you?
442
00:17:59,157 --> 00:18:00,224
Even kill.
443
00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:01,425
What the hell?!
444
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,359
Hayley, pull it up!
445
00:18:03,361 --> 00:18:04,695
[ whirring ]
446
00:18:04,830 --> 00:18:08,498
That looks a lot
like you, kristoff.
447
00:18:08,634 --> 00:18:09,766
It really does.
448
00:18:09,768 --> 00:18:11,101
But that's
impossible.
449
00:18:11,237 --> 00:18:13,770
You would have been
by todd fox's bedside.
450
00:18:13,906 --> 00:18:17,574
Unless you had a more important
reason to follow lisa?
451
00:18:17,576 --> 00:18:19,843
Like...Motive.
452
00:18:19,978 --> 00:18:21,711
Kristoff: I...
Come on, suze.
453
00:18:21,713 --> 00:18:23,379
What are you
suggesting?
454
00:18:23,381 --> 00:18:27,117
That a dumb little octopus
can plan that far ahead?
455
00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:28,518
Kristoff: Dumb?!
456
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,921
Is smuggling myself
into a foreign country
457
00:18:31,056 --> 00:18:34,390
To commit the perfect murder
in the name of love dumb?!
458
00:18:34,392 --> 00:18:36,260
[ all gasp ]
kristoff?
459
00:18:36,395 --> 00:18:37,728
Kristoff:
Oh, come on, todd.
460
00:18:37,863 --> 00:18:39,730
You must have felt
the energy between us.
461
00:18:39,865 --> 00:18:42,065
We are electric together.
462
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:46,136
Lisa felt it.
She wanted to separate us.
463
00:18:46,138 --> 00:18:48,138
It was her or me.
464
00:18:48,274 --> 00:18:49,740
I can't believe this.
465
00:18:49,875 --> 00:18:53,009
You killed my wife,
deceived me all these years?
466
00:18:53,011 --> 00:18:55,479
Kristoff: The masks
are off, my darling.
467
00:18:55,614 --> 00:18:57,881
We can finally
be together.
468
00:18:58,016 --> 00:19:00,284
[ imitates buzzer ]
you're going to jail.
469
00:19:00,418 --> 00:19:01,685
The zoo?
470
00:19:01,820 --> 00:19:03,820
Are all the animals
in the zoo criminals?
471
00:19:03,956 --> 00:19:05,088
Look out!
472
00:19:05,223 --> 00:19:06,757
[ trish screams ]
473
00:19:06,892 --> 00:19:09,493
♪♪
474
00:19:09,628 --> 00:19:11,361
[ all gasp ]
475
00:19:11,497 --> 00:19:12,762
[ gun cocks ]
476
00:19:12,764 --> 00:19:14,698
I don't know
which one is which!
477
00:19:14,833 --> 00:19:16,232
Why do you
have a gun?!
478
00:19:16,234 --> 00:19:17,634
I always have a gun!
479
00:19:17,636 --> 00:19:18,902
Shoot us both!
480
00:19:19,037 --> 00:19:21,438
What?! W-why shoot
either of them?!
481
00:19:26,178 --> 00:19:27,577
That's my partner.
482
00:19:27,713 --> 00:19:29,045
[ gunshot ]
aah!
483
00:19:29,515 --> 00:19:32,116
Sorry, trish. That was
a whoopsie bullet.
484
00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:34,450
Well, that's our time.
485
00:19:34,452 --> 00:19:35,919
Join us tomorrow
when we'll play
486
00:19:36,054 --> 00:19:39,389
Flip-cup charades
with dame helen mirren.
487
00:19:39,525 --> 00:19:40,790
See you tomorrow, america!
488
00:19:40,792 --> 00:19:42,326
[ gunshot ]
ooh!
489
00:19:42,460 --> 00:19:44,995
Seems like we're all over
the hump with this bug.
490
00:19:44,997 --> 00:19:46,330
[ groans ]
I'm even
a little hungry.
491
00:19:46,465 --> 00:19:48,532
Me too.
Too bad the only thing
492
00:19:48,667 --> 00:19:50,667
We have to eat
is that bad paella.
493
00:19:50,802 --> 00:19:52,135
Eh, what the hell.
494
00:19:52,270 --> 00:19:53,737
I'll take another swing
with the paella.
495
00:19:53,872 --> 00:19:55,205
It would be a shame
to waste it.
Me too!
496
00:19:55,341 --> 00:19:57,407
And besides, maybe
I'm misremembering it
497
00:19:57,409 --> 00:19:58,875
Because it's been a minute,
498
00:19:58,877 --> 00:20:00,577
But I don't even think
we got that sick.
499
00:20:01,547 --> 00:20:03,947
It's the paella!
Guh!
500
00:20:04,082 --> 00:20:05,882
Somebody dump out
those gatorades
501
00:20:06,018 --> 00:20:08,618
So we can use the bottles
for on-the-go paella.
502
00:20:08,754 --> 00:20:09,686
[ clink ]
503
00:20:09,821 --> 00:20:12,489
To a great damn show.
504
00:20:13,291 --> 00:20:15,025
You know what I still
can't figure out?
505
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:16,794
Who wrote that note?
506
00:20:19,365 --> 00:20:20,697
[ scribbling ]
507
00:20:23,836 --> 00:20:26,370
It was the monkey. The monkey
that can write did it.
508
00:20:26,505 --> 00:20:28,104
That makes sense.
Wow.
509
00:20:28,106 --> 00:20:30,774
You really figured
everything out, hayley smith.
510
00:20:30,909 --> 00:20:33,043
Yeah, hayley. You've got
a job here any time.
511
00:20:33,178 --> 00:20:35,178
In fact, I have
a feeling a lot of things
512
00:20:35,313 --> 00:20:37,781
Are gonna be changing
around here.
513
00:20:39,184 --> 00:20:41,251
Morning, ladies.
How we feeling?
514
00:20:41,387 --> 00:20:42,719
It's talking to me!
515
00:20:42,721 --> 00:20:44,855
Gross! It looked you
right in the face!
516
00:20:44,990 --> 00:20:46,656
But yesterday you --
we what?
517
00:20:46,792 --> 00:20:48,859
Got blackout drunk,
had a great show,
518
00:20:48,994 --> 00:20:50,326
And forgot everything
that happened?
519
00:20:50,462 --> 00:20:52,062
That's "morning mimosa!",
kid!
520
00:20:52,197 --> 00:20:55,399
No way she's a kid.
She looks 35!
521
00:20:55,533 --> 00:20:58,202
Get out of here,
old kid!
522
00:20:58,336 --> 00:21:00,637
Have a great night!
36023
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