All language subtitles for 05 - Gun Fever

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,507 --> 00:00:06,704 - You're such a dildo, dude. - Thanks, dude. 2 00:00:06,778 --> 00:00:09,648 Thanks. That's a good way to start the day. 3 00:00:09,717 --> 00:00:11,914 Is that soy veggie health drink supposed to erase the damage... 4 00:00:11,988 --> 00:00:13,924 you did to your liver last night? 5 00:00:13,992 --> 00:00:16,828 Is that coffee gonna help you forget that elephant you slept with last night? 6 00:00:16,898 --> 00:00:19,391 Oh, come on. You don't have to be so judgmental. 7 00:00:19,469 --> 00:00:21,940 - She was gross, dude. - She wasn't that gross, all right? 8 00:00:22,008 --> 00:00:25,447 If you lowered your standards a bit, you'd get laid more. Give me a sip of this. 9 00:00:25,515 --> 00:00:27,144 - No! - I just wanna try it. 10 00:00:27,218 --> 00:00:30,418 You do not get to taste my delicious healthy drink after making fun of it. 11 00:00:30,491 --> 00:00:33,930 - Why not? Just give it to me. - 'Cause I don't know what kind of diseases that girl had. 12 00:00:33,998 --> 00:00:35,934 She doesn't have any diseases! 13 00:00:36,002 --> 00:00:39,203 - Dude, she was really gross. - Guys! 14 00:00:39,276 --> 00:00:42,737 - We got a real serious problem. - There's been a B&E, dude. 15 00:00:42,816 --> 00:00:45,116 - A what? - A B&E, dude! 16 00:00:45,187 --> 00:00:47,715 - A B&E? - What does that mean? 17 00:00:47,792 --> 00:00:50,388 Somebody broke into the bar and stole our safe. 18 00:00:50,464 --> 00:00:53,197 - Breaking and entering. B&E. - No. No! 19 00:00:53,269 --> 00:00:55,398 - Are you serious? - Oh, my God! 20 00:00:55,474 --> 00:00:57,911 - When did this happen? - Last night, I guess. 21 00:00:57,979 --> 00:00:59,743 Wejust walked in this morning and found it like that. 22 00:00:59,815 --> 00:01:02,343 - Who locked up last night? - I did. But that's the thing. The locks weren't even broken. 23 00:01:02,421 --> 00:01:05,552 - So somebody just waltzed in here and stole the safe? - But it's not my fault. 24 00:01:05,627 --> 00:01:09,226 - Well, it's somebody's fault. - I know it's somebody's fault! 25 00:01:09,301 --> 00:01:12,067 - Well, it's somebody's fault! - I know that! 26 00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:14,976 Guys! Guys! We're not gonna get anywhere yelling at each other! 27 00:01:15,046 --> 00:01:17,882 - We need to be rational. - All right, all right. 28 00:01:17,951 --> 00:01:21,151 - Okay! I think it's clear what needs to happen. - What? 29 00:01:21,224 --> 00:01:22,556 We need to buy a gun. 30 00:01:51,785 --> 00:01:54,153 So what do you think? 31 00:01:54,223 --> 00:01:56,888 I think next time you boys ought to get the kind of safe... 32 00:01:56,962 --> 00:02:00,196 that a relatively small man can't just carry away. 33 00:02:00,268 --> 00:02:02,898 But there's been, like, a string of these robberies all over the area. 34 00:02:02,973 --> 00:02:05,740 - You don't have any leads or... - Not really. 35 00:02:05,812 --> 00:02:08,443 "Not really." What in the hell does that even mean? 36 00:02:08,518 --> 00:02:11,547 How could there not be any leads? The guy must have left something behind. 37 00:02:11,624 --> 00:02:14,026 - People are working on it. - Hey, you guys. 38 00:02:14,095 --> 00:02:17,124 They're pretty sure it's the same guy who's been hittin' all the bars around here. 39 00:02:17,201 --> 00:02:19,672 - We know, Charlie. - So we're done here, Harris. 40 00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:22,871 - What... So that's it? - Yeah. 41 00:02:22,946 --> 00:02:25,246 We'll call you if we come up with anything. 42 00:02:25,317 --> 00:02:27,948 - Well, thanks. - Yeah, thanks. 43 00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:29,821 You know what? Let's go get that gun. 44 00:02:29,892 --> 00:02:31,862 - Whoa. Hey, hey. No, no, no, no, no. - What? 45 00:02:31,930 --> 00:02:34,333 Guns are not a good idea. They're dangerous. Someone's gonna get hurt. 46 00:02:34,402 --> 00:02:37,806 - Yeah. Mac, no guns. - Guys, somebody stole our safe, right? 47 00:02:37,875 --> 00:02:40,403 Am I crazy? We need to be able to protect ourselves... 48 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:42,416 in case something like this happens again. 49 00:02:42,484 --> 00:02:44,920 - Clearly, Philly's finest don't give a shit. - Mac is absolutely right. 50 00:02:44,989 --> 00:02:48,291 - What if one of us was here when it happened? - We would have been killed. 51 00:02:48,362 --> 00:02:52,462 - No, you don't know that. Come on. - Hey, babe. 52 00:02:52,537 --> 00:02:55,634 - Hey, Colin. - Mmm. 53 00:02:55,710 --> 00:02:58,238 - Was that law enforcement? - Yeah. 54 00:02:58,315 --> 00:03:00,751 - Is everything all right? - No, dude. We got robbed last night. 55 00:03:00,820 --> 00:03:02,722 Oh, shit! 56 00:03:02,790 --> 00:03:06,594 Are you kiddin' me? Oh... What happened? 57 00:03:06,665 --> 00:03:10,571 Remember the other day when you were making fun of us for having such a tiny safe? 58 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:15,810 That really sucks, guys. Look, we have reservations at Guajino's at 12:00, and... 59 00:03:15,883 --> 00:03:19,721 - Yep. Just about... - Guys, it's a travesty. I'm sorry. 60 00:03:21,093 --> 00:03:23,222 No guns. 61 00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:27,604 Dude, your sister has the worst taste in men. 62 00:03:27,673 --> 00:03:31,113 No shit. I hate that guy. He's like a full-on '80s movie stereotype. 63 00:03:31,180 --> 00:03:34,083 Plus, he's a total player. 64 00:03:34,153 --> 00:03:36,088 What do you mean? 65 00:03:36,156 --> 00:03:38,126 You don't know about this? Oh, my God! 66 00:03:38,193 --> 00:03:40,163 That guy's dated, like, every hot bartender in town. 67 00:03:40,230 --> 00:03:43,134 I saw him a week ago with Wendy from Dirty Frank's. 68 00:03:43,203 --> 00:03:45,139 Hand all down the back of her pants. 69 00:03:45,207 --> 00:03:47,109 - Oh! Gross. - Very gross. 70 00:03:47,178 --> 00:03:49,045 Whatever, dude. Charlie, close up shop. 71 00:03:49,115 --> 00:03:51,677 Dennis, let's go get us a gun. 72 00:03:54,659 --> 00:03:56,686 Do you really think they're gonna buy one? 73 00:03:56,763 --> 00:03:58,733 No. I mean, I told them not to... 74 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,465 but Mac gets a boner every single time he thinks about a gun. 75 00:04:01,539 --> 00:04:04,807 - Well, I think it's a great idea. - I'm... I'm sorry? 76 00:04:04,879 --> 00:04:07,646 I think it's really smart. 77 00:04:07,718 --> 00:04:09,688 Owning and knowing how to properly use a firearm... 78 00:04:09,756 --> 00:04:12,226 is an important part of what makes this country great. 79 00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:14,388 Well, that's what I was trying to tell them... 80 00:04:14,465 --> 00:04:16,434 - To tell you the truth... - What? 81 00:04:16,502 --> 00:04:20,033 There's nothing sexier than when you're firing a gun. 82 00:04:20,109 --> 00:04:23,844 Actually, it really turns me on. 83 00:04:23,917 --> 00:04:27,014 Well, that's exactly why I want you to teach me how to use one, sexy. 84 00:04:27,090 --> 00:04:29,890 - It would be my pleasure. - I think the pleasure would be all mine. 85 00:04:29,961 --> 00:04:32,694 You've got a poppy seed in your teeth. 86 00:04:33,803 --> 00:04:35,773 Hmm. 87 00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:39,405 - Get it? - It's a big one. You might wanna go to the bathroom. 88 00:04:45,292 --> 00:04:48,389 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Calm down! All right! 89 00:04:48,465 --> 00:04:50,435 Hwang. You're just in time, buddy. 90 00:04:50,502 --> 00:04:52,871 - Charlie, my rent. - Okay, listen. 91 00:04:52,941 --> 00:04:55,605 - Listen to me for a second while I... - No! I cannot wait anymore! 92 00:04:55,679 --> 00:04:58,082 Don't come over here and just start yelling at me! 93 00:04:58,151 --> 00:05:00,121 Hwang! Hey! Wait! 94 00:05:00,188 --> 00:05:05,290 Let me go get something, and I'll fix it. 95 00:05:05,365 --> 00:05:08,462 All right, hurry up. Hurry up! 96 00:05:08,538 --> 00:05:11,669 I can't wait too long! Hwang not patient! 97 00:05:11,744 --> 00:05:13,805 You getting my money? 98 00:05:13,882 --> 00:05:16,512 Would you like a Rice Krispie treat? 99 00:05:17,823 --> 00:05:20,818 - $854 you owe me! - I realize how much money it is! 100 00:05:20,896 --> 00:05:22,923 I'm not gonna take it no more! 101 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:27,031 I placed a couple bad investments! 102 00:05:27,108 --> 00:05:29,670 Hwang! 103 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:34,347 I placed a couple of bad investments. It could happen to anyone, right? 104 00:05:34,422 --> 00:05:36,551 Okay. 105 00:05:36,626 --> 00:05:39,119 I'm going to get your... 106 00:05:39,198 --> 00:05:43,195 goddamn money by the end of the month, okay? 107 00:05:45,644 --> 00:05:48,741 - I come back tomorrow. I want my goddamn money! - Yeah, tomorrow. 108 00:05:48,817 --> 00:05:51,481 - I want my money! - Okay. 109 00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,666 Dickhead! 110 00:05:59,171 --> 00:06:01,641 Okay, Dennis. We're gonna be very careful about this, right? 111 00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:04,077 We'll stash it right here just in case we need it. 112 00:06:04,146 --> 00:06:06,413 Until then, we don't go near it. 113 00:06:06,485 --> 00:06:09,685 - Hopefully, we never have to pick it up again. - Hopefully. 114 00:06:09,758 --> 00:06:11,728 - You wanna shoot it? - Yes. 115 00:06:13,666 --> 00:06:16,661 - Yeah! - Yes! 116 00:06:16,739 --> 00:06:19,505 - How do you like me now, log? - You totally killed that log, dude. 117 00:06:19,577 --> 00:06:22,447 I totally killed it. I always knew that I'd be good at this stuff. 118 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:24,452 - You're a really good shot, Dennis. - Thanks, bro. 119 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:26,456 You're pretty good too, Hoss. 120 00:06:26,524 --> 00:06:28,960 - You hit the log, like, a bunch of times, man. - I did. 121 00:06:29,030 --> 00:06:31,364 If that log was trying to rob the place, you would have killed it. 122 00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:33,370 - I would have killed it! - You totally would have killed it. 123 00:06:33,438 --> 00:06:35,374 - Absolutely! - Hey, you wanna shoot it some more? 124 00:06:35,442 --> 00:06:37,378 - Yeah! - Hey, can I load it up though? 125 00:06:37,446 --> 00:06:40,178 - Absolutely! You like the sound. - I like the sound of the clip. 126 00:06:40,251 --> 00:06:41,845 - Hey! - Hey! 127 00:06:41,921 --> 00:06:44,825 - What the hell are you guys doing? - Oh, Charlie, check it out. 128 00:06:44,894 --> 00:06:46,487 - Whoa, whoa. No, no, no. - Check it out. 129 00:06:46,563 --> 00:06:48,590 - That's not fun! That's not a toy. - Oh, come on, Charlie. 130 00:06:48,668 --> 00:06:51,503 I'm serious, man. You shouldn't be playing around with guns. 131 00:06:51,573 --> 00:06:54,272 First of all, we need to open the bar. We got robbed. 132 00:06:54,346 --> 00:06:56,316 Hwang is all over my ass because of rent. 133 00:06:59,155 --> 00:07:01,056 - You wanna hold it? - No. No. 134 00:07:01,126 --> 00:07:03,653 - Come on. Just hold it. - I wanna open the bar! 135 00:07:03,731 --> 00:07:06,099 - Hold it for a little bit. - No, I don't wanna hold it. 136 00:07:06,168 --> 00:07:08,696 Fine. Give me the gun. Fine. Yes. I'll hold the gun. Okay. 137 00:07:08,774 --> 00:07:12,144 Good. Nice. Really nice feel to it. 138 00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:15,482 That's really good. Is this thing loaded? 139 00:07:15,553 --> 00:07:17,489 It can be. 140 00:07:22,902 --> 00:07:25,737 - That's my boy! - Whoo! That's amazing! 141 00:07:25,807 --> 00:07:28,438 - Yeah. Can you feel it? - You bet I can feel it! Come on! 142 00:07:28,513 --> 00:07:31,576 - Describe what you feel. - I feel like, uh... 143 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:36,720 I feel focused and I feel badass and just, um... 144 00:07:36,796 --> 00:07:38,732 badass, you know? 145 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:41,636 - I think he's got it, Mac. - Yes, he does. 146 00:07:41,705 --> 00:07:46,112 - Got what? - Charlie, my boy, you've got the gun fever. 147 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:50,514 Whoo! 148 00:07:50,589 --> 00:07:53,561 That's what I'm talking about. You seeing this? 149 00:07:53,628 --> 00:07:55,564 - Yeah. - That is sexy. 150 00:07:55,632 --> 00:07:57,568 - Yep, totally. - You feeling sexy? 151 00:07:57,636 --> 00:08:00,472 - I don't know. - Hey, hey, hey. It's all right to be a little nervous. 152 00:08:00,542 --> 00:08:03,480 Everyone's nervous their first time. But I promise you... 153 00:08:03,548 --> 00:08:07,214 once you put your hand around this... 154 00:08:07,288 --> 00:08:10,124 you are gonna love it. 155 00:08:10,194 --> 00:08:12,426 Well, actually, I've got something I think you'll love. 156 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:14,732 I'd rather watch you shoot the gun here. 157 00:08:17,575 --> 00:08:19,511 - What if I... - Just shoot the gun, Dee. 158 00:08:19,579 --> 00:08:21,515 Okay. 159 00:08:21,650 --> 00:08:25,784 Why would I not be serious? 160 00:08:25,858 --> 00:08:28,523 - All right. Thanks, Detective. - Nothing? 161 00:08:28,597 --> 00:08:31,728 No, nothing. I don't think they're taking this seriously on any level, dude. 162 00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:34,468 Of course they're not, dude. This is exactly what I'm talking about. 163 00:08:34,543 --> 00:08:36,672 These cops don't give a shit about us. 164 00:08:36,747 --> 00:08:39,377 I think it's time we took matters into our own hands. 165 00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:41,922 - How? - Maybe we should do a little investigating of our own. 166 00:08:41,990 --> 00:08:46,090 Do some snoopin' around, try to crack the case. We got the gun. 167 00:08:46,165 --> 00:08:49,626 That's true. Wanna go shoot it some more? 168 00:08:49,705 --> 00:08:51,197 - Yes! - Let's do that. 169 00:08:51,275 --> 00:08:54,805 - Pow, pow, pow! - Whoa! What the hell? 170 00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:57,649 - What? - Dude, the gun's not here. 171 00:08:57,721 --> 00:09:00,249 - Holy shit! What are you talkin' about? - Look! Look! 172 00:09:00,327 --> 00:09:02,422 It's... 173 00:09:02,497 --> 00:09:04,763 - Charlie? - Charlie. 174 00:09:09,010 --> 00:09:11,173 - Yeah, I got the gun. - Why, Charlie? 175 00:09:11,247 --> 00:09:13,547 It's supposed to be here to protect the bar. 176 00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,681 Yeah, I know. I know. I just, uh... 177 00:09:15,757 --> 00:09:19,788 - You just what? - I just needed it. 178 00:09:19,865 --> 00:09:23,463 - Is this the gun fever talking, dude? - No... 179 00:09:23,538 --> 00:09:25,474 It's not... I don't have the gun fever, man. 180 00:09:25,542 --> 00:09:28,571 Look, I'm coming in to work later. I'll bring it with me. 181 00:09:28,649 --> 00:09:31,712 I really don't like the sound of this, Charlie. 182 00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:35,283 Hey, hey, hey. I gotta go, dude. I'll see you guys at the bar. 183 00:09:35,362 --> 00:09:38,356 He hung up. 184 00:09:38,435 --> 00:09:41,429 All right! I'm coming! I'm coming! I'm coming! 185 00:09:41,508 --> 00:09:45,208 I'm coming! All right. Hang on a second there. 186 00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:51,688 - Hey, Hwang. - Okay, so you got my money now? 187 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:55,860 I got some Rice Krispie treats in the fridge. You want some more of those? 188 00:09:58,340 --> 00:10:01,403 Charlie, I don't like you. I never liked you. 189 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:05,511 So just give me my money, or Hwang will be forced to... 190 00:10:09,428 --> 00:10:12,924 I'm sorry. Forced to... 191 00:10:15,307 --> 00:10:17,778 - What you doing? - Hmm? 192 00:10:17,846 --> 00:10:21,216 - What's that? - So, listen, Hwang. 193 00:10:21,285 --> 00:10:23,517 Let me talk to you about your money for a second. 194 00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,753 Uh, I don't have it right now, you know? 195 00:10:25,827 --> 00:10:29,597 I just don't have it. But I'm gonna get it... 196 00:10:29,668 --> 00:10:31,695 because I have my ways. 197 00:10:31,773 --> 00:10:35,177 Do you know what I mean, Hwang, when I say I have my ways? 198 00:10:35,246 --> 00:10:39,186 What is that? Is that a yes? 199 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:44,155 Sometimes I can't understand you. You're talking, but I don't understand you. 200 00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:47,430 So say yes if you know what I mean when I say I have my ways. 201 00:10:47,503 --> 00:10:50,134 - Yes. - Oh, good boy. Get lost. 202 00:11:05,405 --> 00:11:09,071 All right. So we got the binoculars. We got the ziplock baggies. 203 00:11:09,145 --> 00:11:12,676 We got the Maglite. I think as soon as Charlie gets here with the gun, we're all set. 204 00:11:12,753 --> 00:11:14,655 This is great, dude. This is great. We're like the Hardy Boys. 205 00:11:14,723 --> 00:11:16,852 - Okay. - Okay, great. 206 00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:18,863 So I'll be Frank. You be Joe. 207 00:11:18,931 --> 00:11:21,333 'Cause Frank was kind of the leader, and that makes a little more sense... 208 00:11:21,403 --> 00:11:24,864 - Didn't Frank have blond hair? - Yeah. But that doesn't make any difference... 209 00:11:24,942 --> 00:11:26,935 - So I should be Frank 'cause I have lighter... - The hair color doesn't matter. 210 00:11:27,013 --> 00:11:28,983 It's all about who's making the plans and... 211 00:11:29,051 --> 00:11:30,987 If we're gonna play Frank and Joe Hardy... 212 00:11:31,055 --> 00:11:33,686 - But I'm the leader clearly in this partnership! - Why are we talking about this? 213 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,696 You're right. We have a lot of work to do. 214 00:11:35,764 --> 00:11:38,428 - What's the first step? - So I'm the leader. Great. Let's roll. 215 00:11:38,503 --> 00:11:42,101 Wait, no. We can't go. What are you doing? We gotta open up the bar. 216 00:11:42,177 --> 00:11:44,204 Or we could call your sister to do her job... 217 00:11:44,281 --> 00:11:47,777 that is if she's not having sex with Colin and every other bartender in Philadelphia. 218 00:11:47,855 --> 00:11:50,451 - Don't do that. It's gross. - Look, dude, we need to jump on this. 219 00:11:50,526 --> 00:11:53,726 - Let's go do some investigating. - All right. All... 220 00:11:53,799 --> 00:11:56,270 Wait a second. 221 00:11:56,338 --> 00:12:00,072 - What? - Holy shit! 222 00:12:00,145 --> 00:12:02,844 - I know who stole our safe. - You do? 223 00:12:02,917 --> 00:12:05,080 Yeah. Let's go get that gun. 224 00:12:05,155 --> 00:12:07,786 - Yeah, let's get the gun. Wait, wait. Bag, bag, bag. - Oh, the bag. 225 00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:10,127 - All right. I'm driving. - Okay. No, I'm driving. 226 00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:17,842 I hope Charlie didn't do anything stupid. 227 00:12:17,914 --> 00:12:21,114 Whatever Charlie's doing right now, it's probably pretty stupid. 228 00:12:21,187 --> 00:12:23,123 Let's just hope nobody got hurt. 229 00:12:23,191 --> 00:12:24,853 - Yeah. - Yo. 230 00:12:24,927 --> 00:12:26,362 - Hey, dude. - Hey, guys. 231 00:12:26,431 --> 00:12:29,665 - Can we get that gun? - Oh. Why? 232 00:12:29,737 --> 00:12:33,039 Well, first of all, we shouldn't have to tell you why. 233 00:12:33,110 --> 00:12:35,046 We bought it. It's ours. 234 00:12:35,114 --> 00:12:38,314 But if you must know, it's because we know who knocked over the bar. 235 00:12:38,387 --> 00:12:40,152 Really? 236 00:12:40,224 --> 00:12:42,787 Yeah. Can we get the gun? 237 00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:45,390 - Why? - Because we know who... Okay, you know what, dude? 238 00:12:45,468 --> 00:12:49,306 Move. Oh, this place is a shit-hole, Charlie. It smells. 239 00:12:49,375 --> 00:12:51,972 So, don't you wanna know who did it? 240 00:12:52,048 --> 00:12:55,042 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Who was it? - Colin. 241 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,647 - Oh. - Mm-hmm. Yeah. Think about it. 242 00:12:57,725 --> 00:13:00,697 It all makes sense. Colin goes around town... 243 00:13:00,764 --> 00:13:03,098 with every hot bartender chick, right? 244 00:13:03,169 --> 00:13:05,470 He woos them with his charm and his good looks. 245 00:13:05,541 --> 00:13:08,410 He finds out where the safes are. He finds out how to get in. 246 00:13:08,479 --> 00:13:11,884 You remember when Sweet Dee said that he was laughing about how small the safe was? 247 00:13:11,953 --> 00:13:15,187 You saw how quickly he changed the subject when she brought that safe up. 248 00:13:15,260 --> 00:13:17,162 Right. All right. So what's the plan? 249 00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:21,398 I'll slide the gun meaningfully into the front of my pants... 250 00:13:21,472 --> 00:13:24,035 - I know that game. - Yeah. 251 00:13:24,111 --> 00:13:26,343 - So why don't you go get it? - Go get the gun! 252 00:13:26,415 --> 00:13:27,883 All right. Here. 253 00:13:27,951 --> 00:13:31,755 - Oh! - Do you want it? 254 00:13:31,825 --> 00:13:35,697 Hey, Dee. Are you with Colin right now? 255 00:13:35,767 --> 00:13:38,329 Oh, no. He had to meet someone at Fingers Bar, huh? 256 00:13:38,405 --> 00:13:41,434 - Nice. - Okay. 257 00:13:41,511 --> 00:13:44,210 Why don't you take the night off, okay? You deserve it. 258 00:13:44,283 --> 00:13:46,219 - All right. You're welcome. Bye. - Pow, pow, pow. 259 00:13:46,287 --> 00:13:50,751 - You ready? - Ready, Freddy. Oh. 260 00:13:50,829 --> 00:13:52,924 It goes... Uh, stick it back in... 261 00:14:00,315 --> 00:14:03,845 - What a penis! - Like you wouldn't do such a thing? 262 00:14:03,922 --> 00:14:07,088 - Come on. Let's nail this prick. - Wait. Hold on a second. 263 00:14:07,161 --> 00:14:09,393 Didn't Fingers already get robbed? 264 00:14:09,466 --> 00:14:12,370 - Uh, yeah. - So what's this guy doing, going in for round two? 265 00:14:12,438 --> 00:14:15,672 - I don't know. Can we do this thing? - Wait. Hold on. 266 00:14:15,745 --> 00:14:21,018 Do you think this guy would be dumb enough to rob the same bar twice? 267 00:14:21,089 --> 00:14:23,491 - Yeah, I do. - Me too. 268 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,657 All right, change of plans. Leave the gun. 269 00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:29,500 I'm gonna get this asshole to hit Paddy's again. 270 00:14:29,572 --> 00:14:32,442 Follow my lead. I'm the leader. 271 00:14:39,893 --> 00:14:42,591 - Hey, Colin! - Colin! 272 00:14:42,664 --> 00:14:44,897 - What are you doing here? - Hey, fellas. 273 00:14:44,969 --> 00:14:46,939 Didn't expect to see you here. 274 00:14:47,007 --> 00:14:50,673 - Yeah. I was just... Actually, I was leaving. - Leaving? 275 00:14:50,747 --> 00:14:52,512 - Having a little drink, huh? Little drinky-poo. - Couple drinks? 276 00:14:52,584 --> 00:14:56,285 - Yeah. Just, uh... Yeah, just a little drink. - Yeah? 277 00:14:56,358 --> 00:15:00,127 What's up, man? You seem like, uh, the cat who ate the canary. 278 00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:02,101 No... 279 00:15:02,169 --> 00:15:04,936 Canary... No, I was just... I didn't expect to see you guys here. 280 00:15:05,008 --> 00:15:08,174 - Why? - Well, I thought you'd be at Paddy's. 281 00:15:08,248 --> 00:15:11,049 Paddy's, no. We actually closed up shop for the night. 282 00:15:11,121 --> 00:15:13,922 - Yeah. - Yeah. Thought we'd get wasted here instead, you know? 283 00:15:13,993 --> 00:15:16,486 - Just a little freaked out about the robbery. - Yeah. 284 00:15:16,564 --> 00:15:20,766 But, actually, funny story. Turns out the dickhead didn't actually get all of our money. 285 00:15:20,839 --> 00:15:24,643 - We actually keep it in the register instead of the safe. - Yeah. 286 00:15:24,714 --> 00:15:27,150 So the stupid asshole didn't even think to look there, right? 287 00:15:27,219 --> 00:15:31,215 - What a cock! - What an idiot! What an idiot! What a total idiot, right? 288 00:15:31,293 --> 00:15:33,787 - Boner, really. - Schmuck. 289 00:15:33,865 --> 00:15:35,801 - Stupid idiot. - Yeah, so, you know. 290 00:15:35,869 --> 00:15:38,499 As soon as we get some new locks, we should be all set. 291 00:15:38,575 --> 00:15:41,775 - Yeah. - So we're just probably gonna hop in here... 292 00:15:41,848 --> 00:15:43,373 - Grab a couple drinks here tonight. - Yeah, get wasted. 293 00:15:43,450 --> 00:15:46,981 - Maybe pass out. - Or walk home with a couple of hot waitresses. 294 00:15:47,058 --> 00:15:49,221 Right, Colin? 295 00:15:49,296 --> 00:15:52,200 Yeah, totally. Yeah. 296 00:15:52,268 --> 00:15:55,536 - All right, well, don't wanna keep you. - Yeah. 297 00:15:55,608 --> 00:15:58,808 - We'll see you later. You look spiffy, bro. - Yeah, you look good. 298 00:15:58,881 --> 00:16:02,844 - Maybe you guys should get a gun. - What? 299 00:16:02,922 --> 00:16:05,723 Well, Dee was saying that you were thinking about getting a gun. 300 00:16:05,795 --> 00:16:07,697 I think it's a good idea. 301 00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:14,300 Good protection. I, uh... I keep one on me all the time. 302 00:16:16,015 --> 00:16:18,349 I don't know. Think about it. 303 00:16:18,419 --> 00:16:20,150 - Absolutely. - Enjoy your drinky. 304 00:16:20,223 --> 00:16:22,193 - Yeah. - We will. All right, man. 305 00:16:22,261 --> 00:16:24,561 - Have a good night, bro. Yeah. - See you later. 306 00:16:24,632 --> 00:16:28,071 - He's got a gun on him at all times. - From now on, so will we. 307 00:16:28,138 --> 00:16:30,336 Dude, you just laid it on way too thick back there. 308 00:16:30,410 --> 00:16:33,404 There's no way he's gonna hit Paddy's again tonight. He'd have to be a moron. 309 00:16:33,483 --> 00:16:35,680 He is a moron, dude. He'll be there. 310 00:16:35,754 --> 00:16:38,054 Hey, Dee. Yeah, listen. 311 00:16:38,125 --> 00:16:41,359 There's a change of plans. I need you to meet us at Paddy's tonight after all. 312 00:16:41,431 --> 00:16:43,367 Something you need to see. 313 00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:48,169 - Why did you guys bring me into this? - You'll see. 314 00:16:48,245 --> 00:16:50,681 - Did you turn off the circuit breaker? - Yeah, dude. We're all set. 315 00:16:50,749 --> 00:16:52,719 Check. 316 00:16:54,857 --> 00:16:57,488 - What the hell was that? - Did you just cock back the hammer, bro? 317 00:16:57,563 --> 00:16:59,499 - No. - Wait a second. You guys have a gun? 318 00:16:59,567 --> 00:17:02,299 Hey, listen to me. We are not shooting anybody tonight. 319 00:17:02,372 --> 00:17:05,607 - I know. - Dennis, you are not shooting anyone! 320 00:17:05,679 --> 00:17:07,615 I don't want to shoot anyone, Sweet Dee! 321 00:17:07,683 --> 00:17:09,618 - You better not shoot anybody. - I don't have... 322 00:17:09,687 --> 00:17:11,679 - I should be holding the gun. - I have better... 323 00:17:11,758 --> 00:17:14,695 - Well, I put this whole thing together. - I shot the log way more times! 324 00:17:14,763 --> 00:17:17,564 - This is so bad. - But I'm the one who has better aim than you! 325 00:17:17,635 --> 00:17:19,571 What? What? Is he here? 326 00:17:21,477 --> 00:17:24,472 - Oh, there he is. - Okay. 327 00:17:24,549 --> 00:17:27,350 - What's he doing? - He's walking toward the cash register. 328 00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:29,392 Oh, he looks shady. 329 00:17:29,459 --> 00:17:32,191 Yeah. That's him. 330 00:17:32,264 --> 00:17:34,291 That's it. Do the flashlight. 331 00:17:34,368 --> 00:17:36,896 - Turn the flashlight on! - I can't reach it! 332 00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:38,807 No, no! He's getting away! 333 00:17:38,878 --> 00:17:40,278 - Shoot him! - What? 334 00:17:40,347 --> 00:17:42,818 - Shoot him! - Shoot him in his face! 335 00:17:42,886 --> 00:17:46,086 Shit! 336 00:17:46,159 --> 00:17:48,391 - Did you get him? - I'm shot! 337 00:17:48,463 --> 00:17:51,924 - Charlie? Oh, my God! - Oh, my god! 338 00:17:52,003 --> 00:17:54,736 Turn on the circuit breaker! Turn on the circuit breaker! 339 00:17:54,809 --> 00:17:57,474 - Did you shoot me, Dennis? - L... Uh, no. L... 340 00:17:57,548 --> 00:17:59,141 - Why did you shoot me? - Oh, my God! 341 00:17:59,217 --> 00:18:01,153 - My God! Dude, are you okay? - Where are you shot? 342 00:18:01,221 --> 00:18:04,318 - In my head! - What? 343 00:18:04,394 --> 00:18:07,925 Oh, my God! Charlie, I shot you in your head. I am so sorry. 344 00:18:08,001 --> 00:18:09,937 - Is he okay? - No, I'm not okay! He shot me in my head! 345 00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:13,569 - No. It must havejust grazed his head. - You shot him in the head, bro! 346 00:18:13,645 --> 00:18:15,615 - If I shot him in the head, he'd be dead. - It really hurts! 347 00:18:15,683 --> 00:18:19,123 - I gotta go to a hospital! - All right, man. I'll call an ambulance. 348 00:18:19,190 --> 00:18:21,820 The hospital's, like, three blocks away. We should just drive him! 349 00:18:21,895 --> 00:18:24,696 I know that. But I don't wanna get blood stains all over the interior of my car. 350 00:18:24,767 --> 00:18:26,999 Are you serious? 351 00:18:27,072 --> 00:18:29,703 All right! I'll take you to a hospital! God! 352 00:18:29,777 --> 00:18:32,009 All right, get a trash bag. We'll put it over him. 353 00:18:39,931 --> 00:18:42,367 - I can't believe you shot Charlie, dude. - Don't start this again! 354 00:18:42,435 --> 00:18:44,963 - You almost killed our best friend. - You told me to shoot Charlie! 355 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,839 You guys told me to shoot Charlie. 356 00:18:46,911 --> 00:18:49,712 The minute the shit hits the fan, you guys are, like, "Dennis, don't shoot the gun!" 357 00:18:49,783 --> 00:18:52,380 - I was not! - Then all of a sudden, you told me to shoot him in the face! 358 00:18:52,455 --> 00:18:54,448 I didn't say that! 359 00:19:15,234 --> 00:19:17,534 - Hey. - Hey, there he is. How you feeling, buddy? 360 00:19:17,605 --> 00:19:19,598 You shot me, dude. 361 00:19:19,675 --> 00:19:22,442 But, Charlie, you were stealing from the bar. It was an honest mistake. 362 00:19:22,514 --> 00:19:24,711 I still kind of wish you didn't shoot me. 363 00:19:24,785 --> 00:19:27,586 - If you needed help with money, why didn't you talk to us? - Yeah, man. 364 00:19:27,658 --> 00:19:30,026 L... I had it all worked out, all right? 365 00:19:30,096 --> 00:19:33,934 I was gonna make it look like all the other robberies going on around town. 366 00:19:34,004 --> 00:19:39,140 Then we would collect some insurance money and... 367 00:19:40,716 --> 00:19:43,847 - Wow, dude. That's really just goddamn ridiculous. - That is so dumb. 368 00:19:43,923 --> 00:19:46,416 - I thought it was the best idea I ever had. - No, it's not at all. 369 00:19:46,495 --> 00:19:48,658 - But you know what? - It might be the best idea you've ever had, but... 370 00:19:48,732 --> 00:19:51,397 Listen. Listen. The important thing is that you are all right. 371 00:19:51,471 --> 00:19:54,932 And we talked about it, and we decided we need to get rid of that gun. 372 00:19:55,011 --> 00:19:57,243 Oh, oh, the gun. Yeah, we're getting rid of the gun. 373 00:19:57,317 --> 00:19:59,617 - It's too dangerous. - You could have been killed. Dennis could have killed you. 374 00:19:59,688 --> 00:20:02,420 Okay, good. Yes. I think that would be for the best. 375 00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:05,829 Ah. Mmm. Dee, could you get me a nurse? 376 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:08,132 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. 377 00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:13,211 Tell me we're not getting rid of that gun. 378 00:20:13,281 --> 00:20:15,308 No way! 379 00:20:15,385 --> 00:20:17,412 - Never. - Sweet. 380 00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:22,990 No, he's fine. It turns out itjust kind of grazed his head. 381 00:20:23,066 --> 00:20:25,161 Oh, that's great news, babe. 382 00:20:25,237 --> 00:20:28,699 Thank you so much for calling though. You are so sweet, Colin. 383 00:20:28,778 --> 00:20:30,975 I guess I'm just a sweet guy. 384 00:20:31,049 --> 00:20:32,985 All right. Well, I'll see you tomorrow? 385 00:20:33,053 --> 00:20:35,421 - You will. - Okay. Good night. 386 00:20:35,491 --> 00:20:37,461 Dream of me. 387 00:20:41,302 --> 00:20:43,295 Idiots. 33431

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