All language subtitles for 사랑할 수 밖에 없는 그대 He.Said.She.Said.1991.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG

HERE YOU GO, SIR.

YOU'RE LOOKING GREAT
TODAY, MR. HANSON.

ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE.
20 SECONDS TO AIR.

15 SECONDS.
WHERE'S LORIE?

5...

4...

3...

2...

AND NOW, PERKELL
HEATING AND COOLING

BRINGS YOU
HE SAID, SHE SAID,

WITH YOUR COMMENTATORS

LORRAINE BRYER
AND DAN HANSON.

THE ISSUE TODAY--

PROPOSITION 41,
THE HIGHWAY MERGER.

GOOD AFTERNOON, DAN.

PROPOSITION 41 ON
THE BALLOT IN OCTOBER

WOULD PROVIDE FOR
A NEW CONNECTING SPUR

TO MERGE HIGHWAYS
710 AND 88.

IN MY VIEW, THIS MERGER
IS LONG OVERDUE.

NOT ONLY WOULD IT
IMPROVE ACCESS,

BUT IT WOULD ALLOW
FOR MAXIMUM GROWTH,

ESPECIALLY IN
THE OUTLYING AREAS.

I KNOW WHAT
YOU'LL SAY, DAN--

THAT PROPOSITION 41
CAN WAIT,

THAT THERE'S NO NEED
FOR IT NOW.

BUT IN TWO
OR THREE YEARS,

IT WILL BE TOO LATE.

WE MUST GO FORWARD
OR WE STOP.

NOW IS THE TIME.

AND THAT'S THE WAY
I SEE IT.

WELL, LORIE,
THERE YOU GO--

OVER-INTELLECTUALIZING
AGAIN.

COMMON SENSE
TELLS US

THAT A MERGER IS
SIMPLY NOT NEEDED.

THESE TWO HIGHWAYS FUNCTION
QUITE WELL INDEPENDENTLY.

A MERGER NOW WOULD ONLY MEAN
INCREASED SPENDING,

TRAFFIC, AND CONGESTION

IN AN ALREADY
CROWDED AREA.

AND THE OUTLYING AREAS
THAT YOU SPEAK OF

HAVE REACHED
A PLATEAU

WHERE FURTHER GROWTH
IS JUST NOT EXPECTED.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH THE STATUS QUO, LORIE.

AS MY UNCLE OLAF
USED TO SAY,

"WHY FIX IT
IF IT AIN'T BROKEN?"

AND THAT'S THE WAY
I SEE IT--OW!

CHRIST.

THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED
BY THE COMMENTATORS

ARE NOT NECESSARILY
THOSE OF STATION WBAL.

EXCUSE ME.
EXCUSE ME, PLEASE.

OH. THIS IS IT.

SHE'S GONE TOO FAR
THIS TIME.

WHAT DID YOU
DO TO HER?

SHE GOES NUTS
ON THE AIR,

AND YOU'RE ASKING ME
WHAT I DID TO HER?

YOU MUST
HAVE DONE SOMETHING.

YOU DON'T MAKE A REBUTTAL
WITH A BLUNT OBJECT.

YOU DO THIS.
IT'S TOO DISGUSTING.

I JUST HOPE WELLER
DIDN'T SEE THE SHOW TODAY.

HE'LL BE FINE.
GET BACK TO WORK.

PLEASE.

EMILY,
FIND SOME ASPIRIN.

LOOK AT ALL THOSE
PHONE CALLS, MR. THURMAN.

HUNDREDS OF THEM.

VULTURES.
THEY ALL CAN'T WAIT

TO SEE
WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW.

YEAH. NEITHER CAN I.

WAIT A MINUTE.

THEY ALL CAN'T WAIT

TO SEE WHAT
HAPPENS TOMORROW.

THIS COULD BE
THE BEST THING

THAT EVER HAPPENED TO US.
IF WE PROMOTE THIS RIGHT...

YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE
WHO I JUST TALKED TO--

BILL WELLER'S
SECRETARY HERSELF.

YOU DID? THAT MEANS WELLER
SAW THE SHOW TODAY.

SEE, THIS COULD BE GOOD.
THIS COULD BE VERY GOOD.

HE LOVES THIS KIND OF STUFF.
WHAT DID SHE SAY?

SHE SAID
HE WOULD BE CALLING.

DID YOU HEAR THAT?
SHE SAID--

WAIT. BILL WELLER'S
CALLING ME?

ON MY PHONE?
PERSONALLY?

THIS COULD BE BAD,
VERY BAD.

HE NEVER CALLS YOU
PERSONALLY

UNLESS HE REALLY
WANTS TO HURT YOU.

WE'RE SCREWED.

WALLY, SIT DOWN. RELAX.
TAKE A DEEP BREATH.

YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT HE'S THINKING.

IT MAY NOT BE
THAT BAD.

YOU THINK HE'LL STILL PUT YOU
ON HIS NETWORK

AFTER TODAY'S FIASCO?

LORIE BLEW
THE ENTIRE DEAL.

LOOK. I'LL
TALK TO LORIE.

HE'S SPENDING
A FORTUNE ON YOU TWO,

AND HE WATCHES YOU
BREAK UP ON THE AIR.

WE'RE NOT
BREAKING UP.

THIS IS THE WAY WE ARE,
ME AND LORIE.

THIS IS THE WAY
WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN.

HI. THIS IS
LORIE BRYER.

I'M WITH THE PEOPLE SECTION
OF THE SUN.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HANSON.

YES. HELLO. THANK YOU
FOR CALLING ME BACK.

I'M DOING THE OBITUARY
ON PROFESSOR HOLLIS.

COLOR OF THE BRIDE'S...

WHAT TIME IS THE
WEDDING--UH, FUNERAL?

PUCE?
RIGHT. OK.

DOES THE FAMILY HAVE ANY
SPECIAL REQUESTS?

IN LIEU OF FLOWERS.
GREAT.

THANKS VERY MUCH.

BYE-BYE.

PUCE.

WELL, THIS IS DEFINITELY
PULITZER PRIZE MATERIAL.

THIS WILL TURN
JOURNALISM ON ITS EAR.

THERE ARE NO SMALL JOBS
HERE, MISS BRYER.

A NEWSPAPER IS
A DAILY MIRACLE,

AND WE'RE
ALL PART OF IT.

HA HA HA HA HA!

DIANA.

OH, YOU LOOK
INCREDIBLE.

IT'S YOUR HAIR,
RIGHT?

IT'S YOUR CUT.
YOU FOUND YOUR CUT.

WE STILL ON
FOR FRIDAY?

IT'S MY SISTER'S
BIRTHDAY.

CAN WE CHANGE IT
TO SATURDAY?

SURE. ABSOLUTELY.
NO PROBLEM.

MY ENTIRE SCHEDULE
IS AT YOUR DISPOSAL.

SHEILA.
SHEILA. SHEILA.

I'VE GOT A PROBLEM.

CAN WE CHANGE
SATURDAY TO FRIDAY?

IT'S MY SISTER'S
BIRTHDAY.

SURE, DAN.
I CAN DO THAT.

OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.

YOU'RE AN ANGEL.

THANKS.

DAN!

DAN!

SHIT.

DAN!

LOUSY, SELF-CENTERED,
THREE-TIMING JERK.

SCUMBAG.

OH, GOD.
I FELL FOR...

SHH.

NOW I FIND OUT
HE'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND.

YOU ALL RIGHT?

JUST TAKE MY ADVICE.

STAY AWAY FROM HIM.

NEVER GO OUT WITH HIM.

THERE'S NO CHANCE
OF THAT.

I DON'T GO OUT
WITH COWARDLY SCUMBAGS.

I MEAN, WHAT DOES
EVERYBODY SEE IN HIM?

HE'S NOT
THAT GOOD-LOOKING.

HE THINKS
THAT HE'S CHARMING

WITH ALL
THIS BOYISH STUFF,

AND I CAN'T IMAGINE

THE SEX WOULD BE
ANY GOOD.

WELL...

HOW MANY Es
IN SLEAZEBALL?

A NOTE IS GOOD,

BUT YOU NEED TO MAKE
A MUCH MORE DRAMATIC POINT.

YOU OUGHT TO JUST
BREAK SOMETHING.

ONE OF HIS MODELS.

YEAH.

UH, NO, THE WOLFMAN.

THAT'S HIS FAVORITE,
I THINK.

OH, NO.
I COULDN'T DO THAT.

HAVE YOU EVER
HEARD HIM TALK

ABOUT THE WOLFMAN?

IT BROUGHT TEARS
TO MY EYES.

LOOK. JUST DO ME
A FAVOR, OK?

NEXT TIME
YOU SEE HIM,

YOU KICK HIS BUTT
FOR ME.

YOU GOT IT.

OK.

YOU...

DON'T SAY A WORD.

YOU WERE GOING
TO LET HER
TRASH MY WOLFMAN.

WELL, YOU DESERVE IT,

LYING TO THAT POOR GIRL.

AM I RESPONSIBLE

FOR THE PERSONALITY
DISORDERS OF MY DATES?

I TOLD JANET
I SEE OTHER WOMEN.

I DON'T LIE.

WHAT, YOU HELP
LITTLE OLD LADIES

CROSS THE STREET, TOO?

I HAPPEN TO HAVE
17 MERIT BADGES.

AND BY THE WAY,

SEX WITH ME
IS VERY GOOD.

UH-HUH.

I'M SURE.

WHY? HAVE YOU
HEARD SOMETHING?

WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD?

NOTHING.

NOTHING.

OK, EVERYBODY.

I KNOW THERE HAVE BEEN A LOT
OF RUMORS FLOATING AROUND

SINCE MONROE ANNOUNCED
HIS RETIREMENT.

SO, I'VE DECIDED TO GIVE
YOUNG MR. HANSON HERE

A CRACK
AT THAT COLUMN.

CONGRATULATIONS.

HARRY, COME HERE.

[WHISPERING] Listen,
I told you yesterday

I promised the column
to Miss Bryer.

She's the best
writer on the staff.

I want you
to fix this.

AW, CHRIST, ED.

I WISH YOU HADN'T
DONE THAT.

UH, DAN, AND,
UH...MISS BRYER,

IN MY OFFICE
AFTER THIS MEETING.

TECHNICALLY, THE OP-ED PAGE
IS ED'S TERRITORY,

BUT I DO WISH, LORIE,

THAT HE'D TOLD ME HE
PROMISED YOU THE COLUMN.

I DID.

NOW, WHAT WE'VE
DECIDED TO DO

IN A MOST SOLOMON-LIKE
AND QUITE COWARDLY FASHION,

IS TO GIVE YOU
BOTH A SHOT AT IT.

YOU'VE BOTH BEEN FOLLOWING
THIS PUBLIC SCULPTURE THING?

DON'T FEEL YOU HAVE
TO IMITATE MONROE.

USE YOUR OWN STYLE,
OPINIONS.

1,500 WORDS,
ON MY DESK, BY 5:00

FOR PUBLICATION
TOMORROW.

MAY THE BEST
MAN WIN.

OR THE BEST WOMAN.

THIS REALLY SUCKS.

TELL ME ABOUT IT.

OH, PLEASE. DON'T TELL ME
THAT YOU'RE DONE ALREADY.

DO YOU THINK ABOUT IT AT ALL,
OR DO YOU JUST...TYPE?

I DON'T NEED TO THINK.

COMMON SENSE TELLS ME
WHAT TO SAY.

COMMON SENSE, HUH?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

I'LL WAIT
UNTIL YOU'RE DONE.

WE'LL HAND THEM
IN TOGETHER

JUST TO GIVE YOU
A FAIR SHOT.

SO, ALL THOSE YEARS I SPENT
IN JOURNALISM SCHOOL

WERE JUST
A WASTE OF MY TIME?

I DON'T CONSIDER MYSELF
A JOURNALIST.

I WOULDN'T BRAG
ABOUT IT.

I'M A NEWSPAPERMAN.

PITHY.
DUMB, BUT PITHY.

LISTEN--
LISTEN--

GO AHEAD.

AFTER TOMORROW,

ONE OF US IS NEVER
GOING TO SPEAK

TO THE OTHER
ONE AGAIN, SO I...

HOW ABOUT DINNER?

THERE YOU ARE.

AND YOU, SIR.

TO MY NEW COLUMN.

THE PAPER DOESN'T COME OUT
FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS.

HERE. YOU MIGHT AS WELL
TAKE THESE, TOO.

NO. I JUST
WANTED A TASTE.

DAN.

SUSAN.

HI.

OH.

WOW. YOU LOOK
FANTASTIC.

YOUR HAIR LOOKS GREAT.
THAT IS YOU.

THAT IS YOUR CUT.

THANK YOU. AND THANKS
FOR THE FLOWERS.

THAT WAS SO SWEET.

YOU REMEMBERED I MENTIONED
LIKING MUMS.

WELL, YOU GOT THEM.
I'M GLAD.

LISTEN, SUSAN,
THIS IS LORIE.

SHE'S, UH...

SHE'S GOT THE CUBICLE
ACROSS FROM ME.

LISTEN. I DIDN'T MEAN
TO INTERRUPT.

LET'S GET TOGETHER,
GO TO AN ART OPENING?

THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
GIVE ME A CALL.

BUT DON'T CHANGE
YOUR HAIR,

OR THE DEAL'S OFF.

I WON'T.

BYE-BYE.

SEE YA.

DON'T SAY A WORD.

I DO NOT
BELIEVE YOU.

IT'S AMAZING
IT'S LIKE WATCHING

SOME CREEPING
FUNGUS AT WORK.

HEY. SOME PEOPLE
HAVE BEEN KNOWN

TO HAVE A GOOD TIME
WITH ME.

LOOK, ALL I WAS
GOING TO SAY

IS THAT FROM
WHAT I HAVE OBSERVED

OF YOU AND YOUR WOMEN,

THE OVERALL LEVEL
OF HURT, OUTRAGE,

AND DISTRESS
THAT YOU INSPIRE

CAN ONLY
BE TERMED MASSIVE.

DID SHE LOOK HURT
TO YOU?

NO. AS A MATTER
OF FACT,

SHE LOOKED
VERY HAPPY.

BUT, YOU KNOW,
IGNORANCE IS BLISS.

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND
WOMEN LIKE THAT.

MAYBE I'M TOO...CEREBRAL.

THAT MEANS
MAYBE I'M TOO BRAINY.

I KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.

YOU GOT SOMETHING
ON YOUR FACE.

IT'S A CRUMB
OR SCHMUTZ OR SOMETHING.

STOP THAT.

SO, ABOUT MY COLUMN,

THE PUBLIC
SCULPTURE--

WERE YOU FOR
OR AGAINST IT?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I WAS AGAINST IT.

THAT DOESN'T
SURPRISE ME.

THEY'LL PRINT YOURS.
IT'S A MEN'S CLUB.

I WOULD REALLY
LIKE TO WORK

AT THE NEW YORK TIMES.

AT LEAST THERE I COULD
INFLUENCE PEOPLE,

MAYBE CHANGE THE WAY
THEY THINK A LITTLE BIT.

THAT'S WHY I WANT
THIS COLUMN SO BADLY.

I DON'T WANT TO BE STUCK
REPORTING ON WEDDINGS FOREVER.

REALLY?

I THOUGHT ALL WOMEN
LOVE WEDDINGS.

YOU REALLY THINK YOU KNOW
HOW TO GET TO ME.

AS LONG AS WE'RE GOING
TO TALK IN STEREOTYPES...

ALL WOMEN
WANT TO GET MARRIED,

AND ALL MEN
FEAR COMMITMENT.

NO. NO, NO. SEE,
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

IT'S NOT FEAR.

IT'S JUST THAT WE DON'T HAVE
A CHOICE IN THE MATTER.

WE CAN'T COMMIT.

IT'S SOMETHING
DEEP INSIDE,

IN THE ANIMAL
PART OF MEN,

THAT WANTS TO KEEP US
SEPARATE FROM THE PACK.

RIGHT. LIKE YOUR FRIEND
THE WOLFMAN.

EXACTLY. OK, THERE'S
THE PERFECT EXAMPLE.

THE WOLFMAN
IS A TREMENDOUS

SOURCE OF STRENGTH

FOR GUYS LIKE ME.

HE'S STRONG, ALOOF,

DESTINED
TO LIVE ALONE.

HE'S HIS OWN MAN.

HE'S HIS OWN WOLF.

HE'S HIS
OWN WOLFMAN.

HE KNOWS
THAT IT'S IMPOSSIBLE

TO GET CLOSE TO SOMEONE,

BECAUSE
SOONER OR LATER,

THAT FULL MOON IS
GOING TO COME OUT.

BINGO. SOMEBODY IS
GOING TO GET HURT.

SO HE TAKES HIS INTIMACY
WHERE HE CAN FIND IT.

A NIGHT HERE,
A NIGHT THERE.

THOSE OTHER WOMEN FALL
FOR THIS SHIT, HUH?

THIS IS NOT SHIT.

IT'S SOMETHING
I DEEPLY BELIEVE IN.

WELL, IT SOUNDS LIKE
AN EXCUSE TO ME.

SOONER OR LATER,

EVEN THE WOLFMAN
HAS TO MAKE A CHOICE.

READY TO ORDER,
MISS?

OH, YEAH. UM...

I WILL START WITH...

MONOGAMY.

THEN...

COMMITMENT.

AND THEN I WILL
HAVE THE MARRIAGE.

THE MARRIAGE COMES
WITH COMMITMENT, MA'AM,

UNLESS YOU'D LIKE
SOMETHING ON THE SIDE.

OH. NO. NOT ME,

BUT MAYBE
CHILDREN LATER.

GOOD CHOICE, MA'AM.

I UNDERSTAND
THE MONOGAMY

IS VERY GOOD HERE.

AND FOR YOU, SIR?

UH, JUST A SIDE ORDER
OF SEX, PLEASE.

I CAN'T
DO THAT, SIR.

IT ONLY COMES
WITH COMMITMENT.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL MAKE IT
EASY FOR YOU.

I'LL TAKE
THE COMPLETE DINNER.

HOLD THE COMMITMENT,
HOLD THE MONOGAMY.

JUST BRING THE SEX.

THAT WAY, NOBODY
GETS IN TROUBLE,

AND I GET
WHAT I WANT.

YOU WANT ME TO
HOLD THE MONOGAMY?

DAN, READ THE SIGN.

DO YOU NEED ANOTHER
MINUTE TO DECIDE?

I HEAR THE RAVIOLI
HERE IS GREAT.

YEAH. SURE.
RAVIOLI SOUNDS FINE.

WHEN I'M EDITOR,

I'LL GIVE YOU
ANOTHER CHANCE.

WHEN YOU'RE EDITOR,
I'LL BE LONG GONE.

DON'T FEEL SORRY
FOR ME--OH, SHIT.

WHAT'S WRONG?

MY CONTACT
POPPED OUT.

I'M ALWAYS
DOING THAT.

HANG ON. HANG ON.

I'M EXCELLENT
AT THIS.

I HAVE THIS
UNCANNY POWER.

IT'S LIKE MAGIC.
WATCH.

ATTENTION,
EVERYBODY, PLEASE.

NOBODY MOVE.

MY FRIEND HAS JUST
LOST A CONTACT LENS,

SO IF EVERYBODY
COULD JUST STOP

RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE,

JUST LOOK DOWN, AND--

[CRUNCH]

OH, BOY.

WAS THAT IT?

I DON'T KNOW.

I CAN'T SEE.

IT'S OK. WE GOT IT.

THANKS.

THANK YOU.

I'M--I'M
REALLY SORRY.

HOW AM I GOING
TO DRIVE LIKE THIS?

I'LL HAVE TO READ
MY COLUMN WITH ONE EYE.

WHAT?

HA HA HA HA HA!

WHAT?

I'M--I'M SORRY.

WHAT?

IT'S JUST...FUNNY.

DON'T YOU THINK
IT'S...

HEY,
THAT'S STEALING.

WAIT. WAIT, WAIT.

BEFORE WE OPEN THIS,

NO MATTER
WHAT HAPPENS,

I HAD
A GOOD TIME TONIGHT.

OK.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

GODDAMN IT.

THIS IS NOT FAIR.

ONLY ONE OF US
WAS SUPPOSED TO WIN.

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
MY COLUMN IN THE FIRST PLACE.

I THINK IT WAS
DAMN NICE OF THEM.

NICE OF THEM?

I'M THE ONE
WHO SHOULD BE UPSET.

LISTEN, BUSTER, THE ONLY REASON
THEY RAN YOUR COLUMN AT ALL

IS BECAUSE
YOU HAVE A PENIS.

WELL, WHY DIDN'T
YOU SHOW THEM YOURS?

HEY, FORGET IT.

I HAD A TERRIBLE
TIME TONIGHT.

HEY, DAN. GOOD JOB.

YOU REALLY
SHOWED HER.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

SHE WAS RIGHT.
HE'S CRAZY.

DID YOU READ THE SAME
COLUMNS I DID?

HEY, PHIL.
THE USUAL.

YOU GOT IT.

SO YOU JUST GOING
TO STARE AT ME

ALL NIGHT,

OR YOU GOING
TO BUY ME A DRINK?

AND ONE OF WHATEVER
THIS YOUNG LADY IS HAVING.

SO YOU'RE THE
LITERARY TYPE, HUH?

WELL, YOU KNOW,
THAT DEPENDS.

WHAT TYPE
DO YOU LIKE?

OH. MEN ABOUT
YOUR HEIGHT,

MEN ABOUT YOUR SIZE.

HMM.

WE HAVE
TO DO SOMETHING

ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES,
THOUGH.

WHAT'S WRONG
WITH MY CLOTHES?

THEY'RE ON.

I MISSED YOU.

HOW WAS PARIS?

WET. YOU SHOULD
HAVE BEEN THERE.

OH, LINDA.

WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE GET OUT OF HERE?

HOLD ON A SECOND,
BIG BOY.

I WANT TO HAVE
MY DRINK.

SO, WHO'S THE GIRL?

YOU TWO A TEAM?

OH, GOD, NO. NO.

THEY WOULDN'T
DO THAT TO ME.

IT'S JUST
A ONE-SHOT DEAL.

I'LL NEVER HAVE TO
WORK WITH HER AGAIN.

GOOD.

AND THAT'S
WHAT WE DECIDED.

WE'LL START WITH
THREE COLUMNS A WEEK.

WE REALLY STUMBLED
ONTO SOMETHING HERE.

PEOPLE LOVE
A GOOD FIGHT.

THAT'S A GREAT LINE
FOR AN AD.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
THURSDAY'S ASSIGNMENT--

THERE'S A NEW DANCE THING
AT THE ROYALE.

IT'S CAUSING
A BIG FLAP.

YEAH. THE PORNOGRAPHIC
THING.

IT'S NOT
PORNOGRAPHIC.

THERE'S A BRIEF
NUDE SCENE.

IT'S DONE WITH
TASTE AND INTEGRITY.

YOU'VE SEEN IT?

NO, BUT I KNOW--

DOES THIS POSSIBLY QUALIFY
AS KNEE-JERK LIBERALISM?

DO IT.

THAT SHOULDN'T
BE ALLOWED.

WHO ARE YOU TO SAY?

I THINK I'M A FAIRLY
AVERAGE PERSON.

YOU'RE TELLING ME.

IF IT OFFENDS ME, IT WOULD
OFFEND MOST PEOPLE.

WHY CAN'T YOU LET PEOPLE
MAKE UP THEIR OWN MINDS?

I DO. I JUST GIVE THEM
THE FACTS.

YOU CALL WHAT YOU WRITE
THE FACTS?

WHAT, BOILING DOWN
COMPLEX ISSUES

INTO PITHY LITTLE EPIGRAMS
FROM YOUR UNCLE OLAF?

SAY WHAT YOU LIKE
ABOUT ME,

BUT LEAVE MY UNCLE OLAF
OUT OF THIS.

OH, GIVE ME A BREAK.

UNCLE OLAF IS A CHEAP
LITERARY INVENTION.

HE DOESN'T
EVEN EXIST.

MY UNCLE OLAF IS NOT
CHEAP. HE'S GREAT GUY.

I'LL PROVE TO YOU
HE EXISTS.

WHAT DO YOU WANT
TO BET?

A DRINK.
I WILL BET YOU A DRINK.

YOU'RE ON.

OK.

HE'S NOT HOME.

HE'S GOT
A NEW GIRLFRIEND.

AND TUESDAY NIGHT
IS POLKA NIGHT.

POLKA NIGHT.

I'LL HAVE
A GIN AND TONIC.

NO, HE'S JUST NOT AT HOME.

YOU WANT TO DANCE?

I DON'T DANCE.

I'LL HAVE
A GIN AND TONIC.

WOW. YOU'RE
REALLY GOOD.

OH, GOD.

I KNOW THIS GUY.

OH, HE'S
AN INCREDIBLE DRAG.

HE'S ALWAYS
COMING ON TO ME.

IF HE ASKS ME
TO DANCE,

WOULD YOU JUST GET UP
AND DANCE WITH ME, PLEASE?

PLEASE?

LORIE. HI.
IT'S ME--STEVE.

I HAVEN'T
SEEN YOU HERE

IN A LONG TIME.

YOU LOOKED GREAT
OUT THERE.

EXCUSE ME,

BUT WE WERE IN
THE MIDDLE OF--

WOULD YOU
LIKE TO DANCE?

I REALLY MISS THE WAY
WE MOVE TOGETHER.

SORRY, BUDDY.
SHE'S DANCING WITH ME.

THANKS.

IT'S OK.

WHAT?
WHAT'S WRONG?

I DON'T KNOW.

LOOK...

WHAT I WANTED TO SAY
THE OTHER NIGHT

WAS THAT...
MOST GIRLS,

WHEN THEY TAKE
THEIR CONTACTS OUT,

THEIR EYES
DON'T SPARKLE,

BUT YOURS--

YOURS DO,

AND I--I COULDN'T
SAY THAT

BECAUSE IT WOULD
SOUND STUPID,

AND YOU'D THINK
I WAS CHASING YOU.

I DIDN'T WANT YOU
TO THINK

I WAS CHASING YOU
BECAUSE...

WELL, BECAUSE
I WAS CHASING YOU.

IF YOU SET OUT
TO CONFUSE ME,

YOU COULDN'T HAVE DONE
A BETTER JOB,

AND I WOULD REALLY,
REALLY

LIKE TO KISS YOU
AGAIN,

BUT...NOT IF YOU'RE
GOING TO LAUGH AT ME.

I WON'T LAUGH AT YOU.

[LAUGHING]

I'M SO--

DO YOU WANT TO--

YES.

MR. HANSON!
MUST BE WEDNESDAY.

BIG ORDER DAY, RIGHT?

SETTING THEM UP
FOR THE WEEKEND.

YOU MUST SPEND HALF
YOUR SALARY ON FLOWERS.

MIND YOU,
I'M NOT COMPLAINING.

ACTUALLY, LOU,
JUST ONE ORDER TODAY.

WHAT? ONLY ONE?

YEAH. LET'S SEE...

ROSES OR, I DON'T KNOW,
MAYBE BIRDS OF PARADISE.

WELL, IT ALL DEPENDS
ON THE DESIRED EFFECT.

BREAKING THE ICE,
SEXUAL OVERTURE...

NOT...LOVE?

PLEASE...

MR. HANSON.

COME ON.

TELL ME
IT'S NOT LOVE.

NO.

I DON'T KNOW.

YOU KNOW
WHAT LOVE IS.

IT'S A TIME BOMB
WAITING TO GO OFF.

BELIEVE ME.

THAT'S WHY GOD
MADE OTHER WOMEN--

BECAUSE, NO MATTER HOW GOOD
ANY ONE WOMAN MIGHT BE,

THERE'S ALWAYS ANOTHER ONE

RIGHT AROUND
THE CORNER

THAT COULD BE
EVEN BETTER.

YOU OK?

I'M FINE, I'M FINE,
I'M FINE. I'M OK.

4:15.
MORNING TERRORS.

IT'S OK.

JUST TAKE A COUPLE
OF DEEP BREATHS

AND COME BACK
TO BED, OK?

COME ON.
COME BACK TO BED.

YOU NEVER TAKE
THIS SERIOUSLY.

DOESN'T THIS
EVER HAPPEN TO YOU,

WHERE--WHERE YOU
JUST WAKE UP

AND YOU DON'T FEEL REAL

OR YOU'RE NOT LIVING
THE LIFE

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
LIVING...

LIKE--LIKE ALL YOUR
CHOICES ARE WRONG?

DAN...

YOU'RE JUST TIRED.

NO, I'M NOT TIRED.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I DON'T LOVE YOU.

I MEAN,
I'VE KNOWN YOU LONGER

THAN ANY OTHER WOMAN
IN MY LIFE, BUT...

GOD, I SHOULDN'T BE
GOING TO BED

WITH SOMEBODY
I DON'T LOVE.

DO YOU KNOW
HOW MANY TIMES

YOU'VE WOKEN UP
AT 4:15

WITH DEEP INSIGHTS?

YEAH.

AND THEY'RE
ALWAYS RIGHT.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

I KNOW WHO
I SHOULD BE WITH NOW.

AND...

I ONLY WANT TO GO
TO BED WITH HER.

I'M SORRY, LINDA.

DAN...

YOU KNOW THIS WOMAN,

THE ONE YOU'RE
DUMPING ME FOR?

SHE ISN'T WORTH IT.

HI.

HI.

HOW LONG
HAVE YOU BEEN HERE?

OH, A WHILE.

I BROUGHT YOU
SOME ORANGE JUICE

AND SOME DOUGHNUTS,

BUT I ATE THE DOUGHNUTS.

LOOK...

I DON'T WANT TO BE
WITH ANYONE BUT YOU,

AND I DON'T WANT YOU

TO BE WITH ANYONE ELSE
BUT ME.

PLEASE SAY SOMETHING.

AND THAT'S HOW IT BEGAN.

WAIT A MINUTE.
BACK UP HERE.

THIS LINDA
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT...

IS THIS LINDA METZGER?

YOU SLEPT WITH
LINDA METZGER?

YEAH. YOU KNOW HER?

OF COURSE I KNOW HER.

I TRIED TO SLEEP WITH HER
ALL THROUGH COLLEGE.

THAT'S AMAZING.
HOW DID YOU MEET HER?

WHICH LIFE STORY
DO YOU WANT TO HEAR?

HEY, I MADE A PROMO
FOR TOMORROW'S SHOW.

WAIT TILL YOU SEE THIS.
THIS IS GREAT.

HEY, DAN.
HOW'S THE HEAD?

SHE GOT YOU
PRETTY GOOD, HUH?

HE SLOWED IT DOWN,
TRANSFERRED IT,

THEN SLOWED IT
DOWN AGAIN.

YOU CAN EVEN SEE
THE LETTERING

ON THE MUG.

AS MY UNCLE OLAF
USED TO SAY,

"WHY FIX IT
IF IT AIN'T BROKEN?"

THAT'S THE WAY
I SEE IT.

OW!

YOU NEVER KNOW

WHAT'S GOING TO BE
TOSSED AROUND

ON HE SAID, SHE SAID.

SEE HANSON AND BRYER,
ROUND TWO,

TOMORROW AT NOON
ON CHANNEL 11.

HUH?

I THINK I GOT TO
LIE DOWN AGAIN.

MR. THURMAN, IT'S HIM.
BILL WELLER ON ONE.

JESUS!

HELLO, MR. WELLER.

THIS IS
WALLACE THURMAN,

STATION MANAGER
AT WBAL.

IT'S A PLEASURE

TO BE SPEAKING
TO YOU DIRECTLY.

UH,
HANSON AND BRYER.

NO PROBLEM, SIR.
JUST A MOMENT.

HE WANTS TO TALK
TO YOU AND LORIE

ON THE SPEAKER PHONE.

PUT HIM ON.
I'LL IMPROVISE.

THERE'S ONLY
ONE PROBLEM.

I'VE NEVER USED
THE SPEAKER PHONE.

THANKS.

WHO HAVE I GOT THERE?

HELLO, MR. WELLER.

THIS IS DAN HANSON,
HERE WITH WALLY THURMAN.

THIS IS RAY, OUR
TECHNICAL DIRECTOR.

LORIE BRYER
IS IN THE BATHROOM.

CAN'T BE HELPED.

LET ME CUT
TO THE CHASE.

I'VE BEEN NEGOTIATING

TO BUY YOUR CRUMMY SHOW
FOR MY NETWORK--

WE KNOW, SIR.
LET ME SAY--

THAT STUNT YOU PULLED
THIS AFTERNOON,

YOU AND MISS BRYER...

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

THAT WAS PURE MAGIC

FOR ENHANCING RATINGS.

I DON'T CARE IF YOU
HATE EACH OTHER'S GUTS

OR IF YOU FAKED IT.

I ONLY CARE THAT
YOU MILK THIS SITUATION

FOR EVERY NICKEL
IT'S WORTH.

WE'RE EXCITED
YOU'RE EXCITED,

MR. WELLER.

I'M NOT EXCITED, SHERMAN.

THURMAN.

I'M GREEDY.

GREED IS GOOD.

I'M GREEDY
AND I'M DETERMINED.

AND TO MAKE SURE
EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT,

I'LL BE THERE
FOR TOMORROW'S SHOW.

DON'T SCREW UP!

[DIAL TONE]

WAIT A MINUTE!
IT WAS ALL A MISTAKE.

WALLY, HE'S GONE.
HE'S GONE.

WHAT--

OH...

OH, COME ON.

THIS IS
RIDICULOUS.

OH, BOY.

LORIE...

LORIE, HONEY.

COME ON,
OPEN UP.

LORIE,
WHAT'S GOING ON?

LORIE?

I KNOW
YOU'RE IN THERE.

PLEASE, HONEY,
TALK TO ME.

I BROUGHT YOU SOME
OF RITA'S SLAW.

TAKE IT AWAY.

COME ON.

I HATE IT.

I THOUGHT
YOU LIKED IT.

I WAS JUST
BEING POLITE.

FOR THREE YEARS?

GO AWAY.

GO AWAY? I LIVE HERE,
REMEMBER?

NOT ANYMORE.

HOW'S YOUR HEAD?

IT HURTS.
IT'S BLEEDING.

THEY THOUGHT
I MIGHT NEED STITCHES.

WELL, I'M SORRY.

I JUST COULDN'T
TAKE IT ANYMORE--

LOOKING UP AT YOUR FAT,
SMUG, FAT FACE.

I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF.

THANKS, HONEY.

THAT'S QUITE
AN APOLOGY.

MY STUFF OUT HERE
IN THE HALL--

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

IT MEANS THAT IT TOOK
THIS WHOLE TV THING,

THE SHOW AND ITS SUCCESS,

AND WHAT IT'S DONE TO US,

TO MAKE ME REALIZE
THAT...

WE JUST...

WE WANT DIFFERENT THINGS.

I'VE ALWAYS KNOWN THAT,

BUT I KEPT...

I KEPT THINKING
THAT SOMEDAY

IT WAS GOING TO GET
EASIER, BUT...

I DON'T THINK THAT YOU'RE
EVER GOING TO CHANGE.

WAIT A MINUTE!

COME ON. THINGS ARE
GOING GREAT FOR US.

WE CAN'T BREAK UP
OVER A SILLY FIGHT

IN THE GREEN ROOM.
THERE'S TOO MUCH AT STAKE.

LORIE,
HONEY, PLEASE.

I DON'T WANT IT
TO BE OVER.

YOU USED TO LIKE ME
THE WAY I WAS.

I STILL DO.

I LOVE YOU.

BUT I NEED
MORE FROM YOU.

WELL, I--I JUST
DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE

I CAN GIVE YOU.

WELL...

IS THAT SOME
OF RITA'S COLESLAW?

YEAH.

DO YOU WANT IT?

YEAH.

HOLD ON.
I'LL BRING IT DOWN.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I--I APPRECIATE IT.

HERE, UH...

LET ME GIVE YOU
A DOLLAR FOR IT.

NO, NO. THAT'S--

NO. IT'S ONLY FAIR.

AND COME ON IN.
YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT.

OK. THANKS.

OH, SO THERE HE IS.

HI, MRS. SPEPK.

NOW, SIT DOWN.

I'LL GET SOMETHING
FOR YOUR HEAD.

THANK YOU,
BUT A BUMP ON MY HEAD

IS NO LONGER
THE PROBLEM.

I KNOW
WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.

YOU SEE, IN MY DAY,

YOUNG PEOPLE
GOT MARRIED

BEFORE THEY
SLEPT TOGETHER.

THAT'S BULLSHIT.

WE SLEPT TOGETHER

BEFORE WE WERE
MARRIED.

WE DID NOT.

YOU DIDN'T MARRY
FOR LOVE BACK THEN EITHER.

LOVE CAME LATER.

I'M STILL WAITING.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
MR. AND MRS. SPEPK,

BUT I'VE REALLY--
I'VE GOT TO GO.

YOU REALLY MUST HAVE
DONE IT THIS TIME.

SHE WANTS
THE LOCKS CHANGED.

WHAT? YOU'RE KIDDING?

SHE ASKED YOU TO DO THAT?

GUESS YOU WON'T BE BREAKING
ANY MORE WINDOWS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

REMEMBER THE WINDOW
YOU BROKE?

YEAH. BUT I DIDN'T
BREAK THAT WINDOW.

YES, YOU DID.

DON'T YOU REMEMBER?

MRS. SPEPK, I DID NOT
BREAK THAT WINDOW. LORIE DID.

DAN, WAKE UP.

WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?

WE HAVE TO GET OUT
OF HERE.

THE ROOM IS FLOODING.

HONEY, SHH.

THE ROOM
IS NOT FLOODING.

I BROUGHT YOU
A RAINCOAT.

OH, THANKS.

YOU'RE SLEEPING.

LET'S GO BACK
TO BED.

WE HAVE TO GET OUT
OF HERE.

AND WE WILL,

BUT NOT
RIGHT NOW.

I'M GOING
TO CALL A CAB...

A GONDOLA,

AND BY THE TIME
YOU WAKE UP,

HE'LL BE HERE.

ALL RIGHT.

DON'T FORGET YOUR RAINCOAT.

NO, I WON'T.
I GOT IT.

JUST GO
TO SLEEP NOW.

I DO NOT SLEEPWALK.

OTHER PEOPLE
WOULD HAVE TOLD ME.

YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST
OVERNIGHT GUEST I'VE HAD.

I SUPPOSE THE WINDOWS
JUST BROKE THEMSELVES?

PICK UP FOR HANSON,
PLEASE.

TWO PASTRAMIS
ON RYE, RIGHT?

THAT'S IT.

HEY,
YOU'RE THAT GUY.

I SEEN YOUR PICTURE.

AND YOU. YOU TWO--

NO!

OH, GET OUT OF HERE!

RITA.
COME SEE WHO'S HERE.

I GOT TO GET
A PICTURE OF YOU

FOR MY WALL OF FAME.

RITA!

I HEARD YOU
THE FIRST 20 TIMES, POP.

LOOK WHO'S HERE.
IT'S THE PEOPLE WHO ARGUE.

AND GUESS WHAT--
THEY'RE IN LOVE.

HA HA HA.

OH, WELL,
WHAT DO YOU KNOW.

IT'S REALLY NICE TO MEET YOU.
I LOVE YOUR COLUMN.

OH, THANK YOU.

HOLD UP THESE SANDWICHES
FOR THE CAMERA.

GO ON.
STEP BACK OVER THERE.

HOLD THEM UP
REAL NICE AND HIGH.

SMILE BIG.

WAIT A MINUTE.

LOOK AT THAT.

HOLD THIS.

[HONK HONK]

[HONK HONK]

[HONK HONK HONK]

HEY!

LOOK WHAT I GOT!

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!

HEY.

WHAT?

I LOVE YOU.

I'M NOT TELLING
YOU THIS

TO GET THE EXACT
SAME RESPONSE FROM YOU.

I FEEL VERY WARMLY
TOWARDS YOU,

AND I--I THINK
IT'S GREAT

THAT...YOU'RE NOT
ASKING ME

TO BE IN EXACTLY
THE SAME PLACE AS YOU

AT EXACTLY
THE SAME TIME.

OK, DAN. I'M ONLY
HEARING YOUR SIDE

OF THE STORY.

I HAVEN'T
TREATED LORIE YET.

BUT I KNOW YOU
WELL ENOUGH

FROM THE OLD DAYS

TO KNOW THAT
ANY CONCERNS

SHE'S GOING TO
HAVE ABOUT YOU

ARE JUSTIFIED.

MM. VERBALIZATION'S
THE KEY HERE.

IN ORDER
TO ACHIEVE A MATURE,

EMPATHIC RESONANCE
WITH YOUR PARTNER,

YOU'VE GOT TO SHARE
YOUR FEELINGS.

YEAH, I BUY THAT.
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.

NOW, WE HAVE HAD
TREMENDOUS RESULTS.

REAL BREAKTHROUGHS...

WITH THESE.

ERIC, THAT'S A PUPPET.

OOH. MY CLIENTS
EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS

WITHOUT BECOMING
EXCESSIVELY VULNERABLE.

WE CALL THEM
EMOTIONAL SURROGATES.

UH-HUH.

I LOVE YOU, DAN.

I LOVE YOU.

COME ON. YOU TRY.

NO, NO.

I REALLY DON'T
WANT TO...

COME ON.

[EMBARRASSED LAUGHTER]

I FEEL RIDICULOUS.

COME ON.

I CAN'T.

[GASPING]

OH, GOD.

[CRYING]

DAN?

IT'S OK, HONEY.
I'M OK.

DAN...

I THINK I'D LIKE
SOME CHEESECAKE.

WHAT?

I THINK YOU COULD
USE SOME, TOO.

YEAH...

YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

I COULD DEFINITELY
USE SOME CHEESECAKE.

OK.

YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO REMEMBER

ANY OF THIS, ARE YOU?

LORIE...

I LOVE YOU.

I'M CRAZY ABOUT YOU.

DON'T EVER LEAVE ME,
PLEASE.

I WANT TO SPEND
THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU.

I'LL GO GET US
SOME CHEESECAKE.

I JUST WANT
TO WARN YOU.

DADDY IS NOT GOING
TO APPROVE OF YOU,

BUT MOM,
SHE'S VERY SWEET.

THIS IS SO GREAT

THAT YOU'RE TAKING
YOUR VACATION TIME

TO DO THIS WITH ME.

I WANTED
TO MEET THEM.

IT'S ABOUT TIME.

WHY?

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

WELL...N-NOTHING.

IT'S JUST ABOUT TIME
I MET THEM.

THAT'S ALL I MEANT.

WELL, DON'T BE NERVOUS.

THEY'RE VERY NORMAL.

THEY ARE THE MOST
NORMAL FAMILY IN THE WORLD.

YOU JUST CAN'T DISCUSS
BIRTH CONTROL

OUT OF ITS
POLITICAL CONTEXT.

I USE A DIAPHRAGM.

THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME
A CAPITALIST

OR A SOCIALIST.

DIAPHRAGMS
ARE THREATENING.

THEY GIVE
WOMEN POWER.

I'VE USED CONDOMS
ALL MY LIFE.

I'M NOT ASHAMED OF IT.
HOW ABOUT YOU, DAN?

DO YOU USE CONDOMS?

WELL...

ACTUALLY, IT
KIND OF DEPENDS.

HE'S GOT CONDOM
WRITTEN ALL OVER HIM.

WHAT DOES
YOUR FATHER DO, DAN?

I--I THINK
THEY'RE TOO OLD

TO WORRY ABOUT IT.

NO, I MEANT
FOR A LIVING.

OH...HE'S RETIRED.

OH, INDEPENDENTLY
WEALTHY, HUH?

NO, NO. JUST OLD.

I WAS A LATE KID,

KIND OF A SURPRISE
TO THEM.

YOU LIKE CHILDREN, DAN?

YEAH...YEAH.

WELL, YEAH, YEAH,
I THINK I...I...

WHERE'S WENDY?

OH, SHE READ DAN'S
ARTICLE ON ABORTION

AND DECIDED SHE COULD NOT,
IN GOOD CONSCIENCE,

EAT WITH HIM.

THAT'S RUDE.

I DON'T THINK SO.

WHERE DO YOU STAND ON
CAPITAL PUNISHMENT, DAN?

THIS ISN'T
THE TIME OR PLACE--

ALL RIGHT, HE IS FOR
CAPITAL PUNISHMENT,

HE VOTED FOR REAGAN TWICE,

HE MAKES SLIGHTLY MORE THAN
I DO FOR THE SAME JOB--

YOU DIDN'T KNOW
I KNEW, DID YOU?

AND WE USUALLY USE
A SHEIK ELITE

WITH A RESERVOIR TIP.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW?

WE'RE JUST TRYING TO
GET TO KNOW HIM, HONEY.

IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE
GETTING MARRIED

OR ANYTHING...

IS IT?

NO! NO.

I MEAN NO. NO, NO.

GOOD MORNING.

WELCOME TO
A.M. BALTIMORE.

WE HAVE AS OUR
GUESTS TODAY

DAN HANSON
AND LORIE BRYER,

TWO NEWSPAPER
COLUMNISTS

FROM
THE BALTIMORE SUN,

WHOSE COMPETING
COLUMNS HAVE CAUSED

QUITE A STIR.

GOOD MORNING,
DAN AND LORIE.

WERE YOU SURPRISED

BY THE SUCCESS
OF YOUR COLUMNS?

WELL, NO,
ACTUALLY, I...

WELL, I--I...

SORRY. GO AHEAD.

I JUST WONDER

WHETHER PEOPLE
WOULD PAY ATTENTION

TO WHAT WE WERE SAYING

IF THEY WERE
NORMAL EDITORIALS

WITHOUT THIS WHOLE
COMPETITION THING.

WE'RE GETTING READ.
THAT'S THE IMPORTANT THING.

WE MAKE PEOPLE THINK,
RIGHT?

WELL, MAYBE,
BUT WHAT I'M SAYING IS,

IS IT WHAT WE SAY,
OR IS IT JUST THE GIMMICK?

YOU TWO,

DO YOU EVER
STOP ARGUING?

NOW WE'VE HEARD--

TELL US IF
THIS IS RIGHT--

WE'VE HEARD
THAT YOU TWO

ARE LIVING TOGETHER.

WELL, I'D RATHER NOT
GO INTO THAT.

WELL, NOT YET.
LET ME PUT IT THAT WAY.

ISN'T THAT GREAT?

WHAT THE HELL
IS THE MATTER?

WHY DID THAT
UPSET YOU?

WHAT IS THIS
"NOT YET" STUFF?

WELL, WE'VE BEEN TALKING
ABOUT MOVING IN.

NO. I HAVE BEEN
TALKING ABOUT IT.

YOU HAVE BEEN
IGNORING ME.

DOES THAT MEAN THAT
YOU WANT TO MOVE IN?

WELL, WE NEED
TO TALK ABOUT IT.

THAT IS SUCH PRIME
DAN HANSON MATERIAL.

WHAT, DO WE TALK
ABOUT IT AT HOME, ALONE,

OR DO WE TALK ABOUT IT

IN FRONT OF 500,000 PEOPLE
THAT WE DON'T KNOW?

OH, COME ON.

THAT SHOW DOESN'T
GET 500,000 VIEWERS,

DOES IT,
DO YOU THINK?

YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE.
YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE.

EXCUSE ME. I HOPE
I'M NOT INTERRUPTING.

MY NAME'S WALLY THURMAN.
I'M THE STATION MANAGER.

YOU TWO ARE BOTH
TERRIFIC.

WELL, THANK YOU.
THANKS.

TERRIFIC TOGETHER.
I MEAN, AS A TEAM.

HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED
BEING ON TV REGULARLY?

YES.
NO.

WELL, NO.
YES.

WELL...

ACTUALLY, WE DO TALK
ABOUT IT QUITE A BIT.

WE FEEL IT'S
THE NATURAL EVOLUTION

OF WHAT WE'VE BEEN DOING.

STAND BY, PLEASE.

5...

4...

3...

2...

1.

HI. I'M DAN HANSON.

AND I'M LORIE BRYER.

THIS IS HE SAID...
SHE SAID.

TODAY'S ISSUE IS GARBAGE.

OUR DUMPS WILL BE
FILLED IN 10 YEARS,

AND WHAT DO WE DO THEN?

SOME PEOPLE FEEL

IT'S THE GOVERNMENT'S
RESPONSIBILITY.

MAYBE THEY'RE RIGHT.

BUT AS MY UNCLE OLAF
USED TO SAY,

"IF YOU MAKE THE TRASH,
YOU CAN TAKE IT OUT."

AND THAT'S THE WAY I SEE IT.

YOU WERE GREAT.

NO, NO,
YOU WERE.

YOU EVEN MADE
ME LOOK GOOD.

LET'S DO IT.

LET'S MOVE IN TOGETHER.

* BLAH BLAH
BLAH BLAH MOON *

* BLAH BLAH BLAH ABOVE

* BLAH BLAH
BLAH BLAH CROON *

* BLAH BLAH
BLAH BLAH LOVE *

* TRA LA LA LA

* TRA LA LA LA LA
MERRY MONTH OF MAY *

* TRA LA LA LA

* TRA LA LA LA LA
'NEATH THE CLOUDS OF GRAY *

* BLAH BLAH BLAH
YOUR HAIR *

* BLAH BLAH BLAH
YOUR EYES *

* BLAH BLAH
BLAH BLAH CARE *

* BLAH BLAH
BLAH BLAH SKIES *

* TRA LA LA LA

* TRA LA LA LA LA
COTTAGE FOR TWO *

* BLAH BLAH
BLAH BLAH FLY *

* DARLING, WITH YOU *

HEY, LARRY.

[WHISTLES]

I THINK I'LL CONSIDER
THIS RELATIONSHIP A SUCCESS

IF I CAN EVER GET YOU
TO CLEAN OUT YOUR COFFEE CUP.

WHAT DO YOU
WANT TO DO TODAY?

I THOUGHT
WE'D STAY IN.

HEY, DAN!

HEY, GUYS.

THREE ON THREE
AT THE PARK.

YEAH!

UH...

NO, ACTUALLY,
I'M, UH...

I'M JUST GOING TO
STAY IN TODAY. THANKS.

LET'S GET OUT
OF HERE.

OH, HI, DAN.
HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

I'M FINE...

BUT I'M GOING
TO STAY IN.

OH. [GIGGLES]

LINDA?

DAN, HURRY UP! COME ON,
YOU'RE MISSING THE PARTY.

I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN.

YOU KNOW...

I DEFINITELY THINK
WE SHOULD STAY IN TODAY.

SURE, HONEY.

WHATEVER YOU SAY.

I DIDN'T CHANGE ENOUGH?

OH, COME ON.

I CHANGED EVERYTHING
IN MY LIFE FOR HER.

YOU'RE BETTER OFF.

I THINK OF EVERYTHING
I COULD HAVE DONE

IF I DIDN'T HAVE TO
COME HOME TO HER.

WHAT THINGS?

HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
I DIDN'T DO THEM.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU...

ENOUGH OF THIS.

YOU GO UP THERE
RIGHT NOW,

YOU TAKE HER
IN YOUR ARMS

AND TELL HER
YOU LOVE HER.

NO, IT'S TOO LATE
FOR THAT, MRS. SPEPK.

IT'S OVER.

DAN, YOU CAN'T
BE SERIOUS.

MR. SPEPK, HERE'S
THE KEYS TO THE APARTMENT.

TELL LORIE THERE'S NO NEED
TO CHANGE THE LOCKS.

HERE, TAKE THIS.

THANKS.

HI, DAN.

HI.

GOD. ARE YOU OK?

YEAH.

WALLY TOLD ME
ALL ABOUT IT.

WOW. NEWS TRAVELS FAST.

YEAH.

BOY, YOU LOOK GREAT.

IT'S REALLY GOOD
TO SEE YOU.

MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T
BE SITTING HERE.

WHY?

WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES IT MAKE? NEVER MIND.

SO YOU KNOW WALLY?
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

HE'S BEEN
CHASING ME FOREVER,

ALMOST AS LONG
AS YOU.

I NEVER CHASED YOU.

YOU NEVER HAD TO.

SO WALLY ASKED ME

TO TRY AND GET
YOU AND LORIE

BACK TOGETHER.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I SAID WE'D HAVE
A COUPLE OF DRINKS,

AND I'D TRY REAL HARD...

FOR THE SAKE OF
THE SHOW.

THERE'S ONE PROBLEM.

THE SHOW IS NOT
AVAILABLE ANYMORE.

THAT MEANS YOU ARE,
RIGHT?

BUT THEY DON'T WANT ME
AS A SINGLE.

I'M NOT AS PICKY.

YOU GOT A PLACE
TO STAY?

WELL, UH, ACTUALLY...

MY COMPANY PUT ME

IN ONE OF THOSE
SUITE HOTELS.

I'VE GOT A SOFA
AND AN EXTRA ROOM.

I'D LOVE IT IF
YOU'D STAY WITH ME.

DAN.

OH, MARK. HI.

HOW'S THE--
HOW'S THE WOUND?

IT'S, UH...
IT'S OK.

YEAH.

WELL, I'VE GOT TO GET
BACK TO WORK, SO, UH...

SEE YA.

WHAT GIVES?

WHAT HAPPENED
THIS MORNING?

ALL RIGHT.

I'M IN THE GREEN ROOM,
RIGHT?

WHY DO YOU THINK
THEY CALL THIS

A GREEN ROOM?

I DON'T KNOW.

PROBABLY SOME OLD
THEATRICAL TRADITION, HUH?

SOMETHING TO DO WITH
SHAKESPEARE OR SOMETHING.

OH, CHRIST, LORIE.

WHAT?

YOUR CUP.
YOUR GODDAMN CUP.

SO...

HAVE YOU HEARD
FROM LINDA?

WELL, OBVIOUSLY YOU
KNOW I HAVE OR YOU

WOULDN'T HAVE ASKED.

DID YOU READ
HER LETTER?

NO. I MEAN, IT WASN'T
ADDRESSED TO ME.

IS THAT WHAT'S
BOTHERING YOU?

WELL, IT JUST
SEEMS STRANGE.

I MEAN, SHE MOVES
OUT OF TOWN,

SHE SENDS CHRISTMAS
CARDS TO BOTH OF US,

AND POSTCARDS,

SO WHEN A LETTER CAME
ADDRESSED JUST TO YOU,

IT JUST MADE ME WONDER,
THAT'S ALL.

WHY IS THIS
BOTHERING YOU NOW?

WE'RE ON TOP
OF THE WORLD HERE.

OK. SHE IS COMING
INTO TOWN.

I MEAN, SHE'S HERE,
IN FACT.

HAVE YOU SEEN HER?

NO, I HAVE NOT.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

IF--IF YOU WANT TO
HAVE DRINKS TODAY,

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO
HAVE DRINKS WITH HER.

WEREN'T YOU GOING
TO TELL ME?

HONEY, I JUST DID.

OH, GOD, DAN.
SOMETIMES, I SWEAR--

WHAT IS THE MATTER
WITH YOU?

HOW CAN YOU
BE JEALOUS

AFTER ALL THIS TIME?

BECAUSE APPARENTLY I STILL
HAVE REASON TO BE.

YOU WERE GOING TO SEE HER
WITHOUT TELLING ME.

I WAS GOING
TO SEE HER,

NOT SLEEP WITH HER.

I'M NOT SAYING YOU
PLANNED TO SLEEP WITH HER,

BUT BY NOT INVITING ME,

YOU LEAVE YOURSELF THAT
LITTLE MARGIN FOR ERROR

WHERE UNPLANNED ACCIDENTS
CAN HAPPEN.

YOU'RE STILL
DIDDLING AROUND.

NO, I AM NOT
DIDDLING AROUND.

I DON'T DIDDLE.

I'M NOT GOING TO BED
WITH LINDA.

I MAY SPLIT A SALAD
WITH HER. THAT'S ALL.

I WANT TO GET MARRIED.

WHAT?

A MINUTE AGO,

YOU ACCUSED ME
OF CHEATING ON YOU.

NOW YOU WANT
TO MARRY ME?

DON'T YOU THINK
ABOUT IT?

YEAH. I JUST DON'T KNOW
WHAT I THINK ABOUT IT.

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE
I HAVE REALLY GROWN

IN THE LAST
THREE YEARS,

AND YOU HAVE JUST
STOOD STILL.

NO, THAT IS NOT

WHAT'S GOING ON
HERE.

YOU'RE SO AFRAID
OF BEING HURT,

YOU'RE MAKING
A DEMAND ON ME

YOU'RE SURE
I CAN'T MEET.

YOU'RE PUSHING ME
TO WALK.

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

YOU JUST DON'T GET IT,
DO YOU?

I KNOW YOU ARE SCARED
OF TAKING THIS STEP.

I AM SCARED, TOO.

BUT THAT'S
THE GREAT THING.

DON'T YOU SEE?

WE COULD BE SCARED...
TOGETHER.

LOOK, I JUST...
I WANT TO BE SURE OF YOU.

IF THAT MEANS THAT
I'M A LITTLE INSECURE

OR A LITTLE NEUROTIC,

WELL, SO BE IT.

I--I JUST WANT TO KNOW

THAT IF I'M ON THE AIR
WITH YOU IN FIVE YEARS,

IT'S BECAUSE
YOU LOVE ME,

NOT BECAUSE I'M YOUR
BUSINESS PARTNER.

OH, I DO. I DO.

COME ON.

COME ON.

YOU DON'T WANT
TO GET MARRIED.

NO, DAN. YOU DON'T
WANT TO GET MARRIED.

RIGHT? LET ME
HEAR YOU SAY IT.

TIME, PLEASE.

HEY, MARK...

MARK...

YEAH?

SETTLE AN ARGUMENT.

WHY DO THEY CALL THIS
THE GREEN ROOM?

UM, I DON'T KNOW.

SEE YOU IN THERE.

I'M SORRY, BUT...

I DON'T WANT
TO GET MARRIED.

COMING THROUGH.

WATCH IT.

LORIE, 15 SECONDS
TO AIR.

PLACES, EVERYBODY.

QUIET, PLEASE.

5...

4...

3...

2...

AND NOW, PERKELL HEATING
AND COOLING BRINGS YOU

HE SAID, SHE SAID,

WITH YOUR COMMENTATORS

LORRAINE BRYER
AND DAN HANSON.

THE ISSUE TODAY--

PROPOSITION 41,
THE HIGHWAY MERGER.

GOOD AFTERNOON, DAN.

PROPOSITION 41
ON THE BALLOT IN OCTOBER

WOULD PROVIDE FOR
A NEW CONNECTING SPUR

TO MERGE HIGHWAYS
710 AND 88.

IN MY VIEW, THIS MERGER
IS LONG OVERDUE.

NOT ONLY WOULD IT
IMPROVE ACCESS,

BUT IT WOULD ALLOW
FOR MAXIMUM GROWTH,

ESPECIALLY IN
THE OUTLYING AREAS.

I KNOW WHAT
YOU'LL SAY, DAN.

THAT PROPOSITION 41
CAN WAIT,

THAT THERE'S NO NEED
FOR IT NOW.

BUT IN TWO
OR THREE YEARS...

IT WILL BE TOO LATE.

WE MUST GO FORWARD
OR WE STOP.

NOW IS THE TIME...

AND THAT'S THE WAY
I SEE IT.

WELL, LORIE,
THERE YOU GO,

OVER-INTELLECTUALIZING
AGAIN.

COMMON SENSE TELLS US

THAT A MERGER SIMPLY
IS NOT NEEDED.

THESE TWO HIGHWAYS

FUNCTION QUITE WELL
INDEPENDENTLY, THANK YOU,

AND A MERGER NOW WOULD ONLY
MEAN INCREASED SPENDING,

TRAFFIC, AND CONGESTION
IN AN ALREADY CROWDED AREA.

AND THE OUTLYING AREAS
THAT YOU SPEAK OF

HAVE REACHED A PLATEAU

WHERE FURTHER GROWTH
IS JUST NOT EXPECTED.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH THE STATUS QUO, LORIE.

AS MY UNCLE OLAF
USED TO SAY,

"WHY FIX IT
IF IT AIN'T BROKEN?"

THAT'S THE WAY
I SEE IT--OW!

DID YOU SEE THAT?

THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED
BY THE COMMENTATORS

ARE NOT NECESSARILY
THOSE OF STATION...

LORIE...

LORIE...

ARE--ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

OF COURSE I AM.
OF COURSE. YEAH.

YEAH, I'M FINE.

ARE YOU SURE?

YEAH, I'M FINE, MARK.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

MY KEYS ARE INSIDE.
MY PURSE IS INSIDE.

MY WHOLE LIFE IS INSIDE.

WHO CARES? RIGHT?

I'M NOT GOING BACK
IN THERE.

DO YOU THINK I HURT HIM
WITH THE CUP?

WELL, WHO CARES?
I'M GOING TO WALK HOME.

I FEEL SO GOOD THAT I'M JUST
GOING TO WALK HOME.

LORIE, I, UM...

COULD YOU GIVE ME
A RIDE HOME?

SURE. YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU COULD USE ONE.

MY CAR'S JUST
OVER HERE.

WHERE DO THESE GO?

EVERYTHING GOES
IN THE HALL.

THE LOUSY RECORDS,
THE TOYS,

THE MODELS...

WHAT ABOUT THIS?

OH, NO.
I WANT THAT.

YOU'VE KNOWN ME
A LONG TIME,

RIGHT, CINDY?

I QUALIFY AS
A RATIONAL PERSON,

DON'T I?

YES, SOMEWHAT.

I MEAN,
I'M NOT CRAZY,

BUT THERE COMES
A TIME WHEN YOU SAY,

"YES,
WE GO FORWARD."

OR "NO, WE MADE
A BIG MISTAKE."

I FEEL GREAT.
I REALLY DO.

AAH! WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?

COME ON! STOP IT.

I WON'T LET YOU
DO THIS TO YOURSELF

OR YOUR VCR.

HE'S NOT WORTH IT.

YOU NEVER
NEEDED HIM.

IF YOU WANTED TO,

YOU COULD'VE HAD
YOUR OWN TV SHOW.

THAT'S JUST IT.
I NEVER WANTED A TV SHOW.

I DON'T
EVEN WATCH TV.

OK.

THE NEW YORK TIMES
CALLED.

THEY LOVED MY WORK.

I'M GOING
TO CALL THEM BACK.

GOOD.

I MEAN, TO THINK
I LET HIM DETOUR ME

FROM MY ORIGINAL
PURPOSE.

IT'S THREE YEARS GONE.

SO WHAT. I'M STILL
REASONABLY YOUNG, RIGHT?

IT'S REALLY BEEN
THREE YEARS?

I MEAN, ALL THE TIME
I WASTED

OVERLOOKING
THOSE ROTTEN THINGS.

I MEAN,
YOU REMEMBER, CINDY.

IT WAS OBVIOUS
RIGHT FROM THE START.

UH, WHAT WE'VE
DECIDED TO DO,

IN A VERY SOLOMON-LIKE
AND QUITE COWARDLY MANNER,

IS TO GIVE YOU BOTH
A SHOT AT IT.

YOU HAVE BOTH BEEN FOLLOWING
THIS PUBLIC SCULPTURE THING?

OH, YEAH.

HA HA HA.

DON'T FEEL YOU HAVE
TO IMITATE MONROE.

USE YOUR OWN STYLE,
YOUR OWN OPINIONS.

1,500 WORDS,
ON MY DESK,

BY 5:00
FOR PUBLICATION TOMORROW.

AND MAY
THE BEST MAN WIN--

OH, OR THE BEST WOMAN.

LISTEN.
AFTER TOMORROW,

ONE OF US IS PROBABLY

NEVER GOING TO SPEAK
TO THE OTHER AGAIN.

SO HOW ABOUT DINNER?

SHOCKING AS
THIS MAY SOUND,

I'D LIKE TO.

UNFORTUNATELY,
I HAVE A DATE.

WELL, IT'S NOT
ACTUALLY A DATE.

IT'S MORE LIKE
AN OBLIGATION.

SORRY.

THANK YOU.

GUESS WHAT.

WHAT?

GUESS.

THEY'RE PRINTING
THE NEW REPUBLIC PIECE.

THAT'S GREAT!

THE ONE ABOUT
THE SANDINISTA

EDUCATION SYSTEM?
THAT'S TERRIFIC!

I BROUGHT A COPY
FOR YOU TO SEE.

OH, I'D LOVE TO.
GREAT.

NO. I...

WHAT? IT TAKES
TOO LONG TO START?

WE'RE DOING IT AGAIN.

WE ARE RELATING
TO EACH OTHER

AS WRITERS
AND POLITICAL COLLEAGUES.

WE ARE NOT RELATING
TO EACH OTHER

AS A WOMAN AND A MAN.

OHH.

ADAM...

LOOK...

WHAT I WANTED TO SAY...

I--I DON'T
THINK THAT WE SHOULD

SEE EACH OTHER ANYMORE.

IT'S NOT SEXUAL OR EXCITING
BETWEEN US ANYMORE.

I THINK THAT
IT WAS...ONCE,

BUT IT'S JUST NOT
THERE ANYMORE.

THIS IS VERY HARD
TO SAY--

IT'S VERY HARD
TO LISTEN TO.

I KNOW.

I-I'M SORRY.

LORIE, I'M NOT
A COMPLETE MORON,

YOU KNOW.

I SORT OF SAW
THIS THING COMING.

BUT I DON'T THINK

THIS IS ENTIRELY
MY FAULT.

I'M NOT SAYING
THAT IT IS.

WELL...

MAYBE TWO
CEREBRAL PEOPLE

JUST SHOULDN'T
BE TOGETHER.

I GOT TO GO.

NO. DON'T--DON'T GO.

NO. I PREFER IT,
IF YOU DON'T MIND.

SEE YA.

WOW. THAT WAS
A FAST DATE.

LOOKS LIKE
WE CAN'T GET AWAY

FROM EACH OTHER.

MAYBE IT'S FATE.

THE SEÑORA IS
ORDERING DINNER?

NO.

CAESAR SALAD'S
GREAT HERE.

NO. I'M GOING TO...

COME ON.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL...

I'LL HAVE A CAESAR SALAD
AND A GIN AND TONIC.

I'LL HAVE ANOTHER
ONE OF THESE.

ENJOY YOUR MEAL.

WE HAD A FIGHT.

WELL,
ACTUALLY WE DIDN'T.

WE DIDN'T HAVE A FIGHT.
WE--WE BROKE UP.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
I'M TELLING YOU THIS FOR.

I'M REALLY SORRY.

SO WHO BROKE IT OFF?

I DID.

SEE, SOMETIMES

THAT'S THE MORE
PAINFUL POSITION.

IT'S ALWAYS
EASIER TO LOVE

THAN BE LOVED,

AND HURTING SOMEONE
CAN FEEL WORSE

THAN BEING HURT.

AND GOD KNOWS,
I'M ALWAYS TERRIFIED

TO GIVE BAD NEWS
TO A WOMAN.

MAYBE THAT'S
WEAK OF ME.

I DON'T KNOW.

YEAH.

SO, HOW DO YOU
KNOW SO MUCH?

BELIEVE ME,
I'VE BEEN THERE.

DAN!

SUSAN.

HI.

EXCUSE ME.

WOW. YOU LOOK
FANTASTIC.

YOU REALLY DO.
THAT DRESS--

THAT'S
YOUR COLOR.

THAT IS YOU.

THANKS. AND THANK YOU
FOR THE FLOWERS.

THEY WERE
SO BEAUTIFUL.

THANKS.
YOU GOT THEM.

GOOD.

NEXT WEEK, LET'S GO
TO THE ROLLER DERBY.

SOUNDS GOOD.

BUT WEAR THAT DRESS
OR THE DEAL'S OFF.

I WILL.

OH, SHIT.
MY TIT POPPED OUT.

I HATE IT WHEN
THAT HAPPENS, DON'T YOU?

BYE.

SEE YOU LATER.

CLASSY...
WITH A CAPITAL "K."

AND YOU.
LOOK AT YOU.

MR. SMOOTH.

YOU KNOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT I WAS LETTING MYSELF

GET SUCKED INTO
THIS RAP OF YOURS.

"IT'S BETTER TO LOVE
THAN TO BE LOVED."

THIS--YOU WERE
COMING ON TO ME.

THIS WAS A PASS.

YOU CALL
THAT A PASS?

YOU MEN
ARE ALL ALIKE.

YOU DON'T TAKE
ANY OF US SERIOUSLY.

NO, NO. WAIT, WAIT.

I WAS--
I WAS JUST THINKING.

WAS THAT A PASS?

OH, MY GOD.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

THAT WAS A PASS.

I'M SORRY. I...

BUT WHAT WAS I
SUPPOSED TO DO?

THERE YOU WERE
SITTING THERE,

VULNERABLE...

ATTRACTIVE.

OH, DARN IT.

DARN IT. DARN IT.
DARN IT.

THERE I GO AGAIN.

I'M OUT OF CONTROL.

I CAN'T NOT MAKE
A PASS AT YOU.

ANYWAY--

I'M THROUGH
WITH ALL OF YOU

FOR A WHILE.

THERE ARE THINGS

THAT ARE MORE
IMPORTANT TO ME NOW.

LIKE WHAT?

LIKE THE CHANCE
TO SAY SOMETHING,

TO REACH PEOPLE.

WHAT EVERY JOURNALIST
WANTS--

TO WORK AT
THE NEW YORK TIMES.

FOR NOW, I WILL SETTLE
FOR THIS COLUMN.

MY COLUMN.

THERE YOU ARE,
MA'AM.

I'LL MAKE UP A LITTLE
PLATE FOR YOU.

I DON'T LIKE TO FEEL

LIKE I'M HAVING DINNER
WITH A SHARK.

A LITTLE PASTA.

SAUCE. SALAD.

TOMATO.

OK?

THERE. HAVE FUN.

TO MY COLUMN.

NOT SO FAST.
PAPER DOESN'T COME OUT

FOR ANOTHER
COUPLE OF HOURS.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING]

[RING]

HELLO?

OH, HI, CINDY.

YES, I KNOW!
ISN'T IT GREAT?

OH, THANKS. YEAH.

DON'T YOU THINK IT'S
KIND OF A MINOR VICTORY,

I MEAN, HAVING HIS
PRINTED, TOO?

YEAH. YOU'RE RIGHT.

I MEAN, REACTIONARY
WRITING LIKE HIS

IS ONLY GOING TO
MAKE ME LOOK BETTER.

NO. I JUST--I JUST GOT IN.

WHY? DID YOU TRY
CALLING EARLIER?

ADAM?

OH...

GOD.

NO. UH,
THAT WAS HOURS AGO.

WELL, UH, I WAS...

ACTUALLY, I WAS
HAVING DINNER

WITH MR. REACTIONARY
HIMSELF.

WELL, YEAH.

HE DID CRUSH
MY CONTACT LENS,

BUT IT WAS--
IT WAS OK.

YEAH.

WELL, NO,

ACTUALLY, I...

I HAD A GOOD TIME.

NO. NO!

LOOK, DON'T WORRY.

THIS IS
A ONE-SHOT DEAL.

I WON'T LET HIM
SPIN HIS WEB AROUND ME.

[THEME FROM
SLEEPING BEAUTY PLAYS]

SHH!

HI, LORIE.

I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU HERE
IN A LONG TIME.

WOULD YOU
LIKE TO DANCE?

THAT'S GOOD.
COULD YOU MAYBE

TONE IT DOWN
JUST A LITTLE BIT?

NEXT SLOW SONG,

GUY AT THE BAR--
DON'T LOOK.

WHAT'S YOUR
NAME AGAIN?

STEVE.

THANK YOU.
HERE'S 5 BUCKS.

OH, NO. YOU DON'T HAVE
TO PAY ME, SUGAR.

WELL,
KEEP IT ANYWAY.

COULD YOU BUTTON
UP YOUR SHIRT THERE?

THANK YOU.

HI.

GREAT MUSIC.

OH, IT'S FANTASTIC.

WHAT ARE YOU
LOOKING AT?

I KNOW THAT GUY.

HE IS SUCH
AN INCREDIBLE DRAG.

HE'S ALWAYS
COMING ON TO ME.

IF ASKS ME TO DANCE,

WOULD YOU JUST DANCE
WITH ME, PLEASE?

OH, PLEASE.

LO-OR-ORIE!

HI. IT'S ME.
STEVE.

I HAVEN'T
SEEN YOU IN A LONG,

LONG TIME.

YOU LOOK GREAT.

HI. I'M DAN.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

WOULD YOU LIKE
TO DANCE?

I REALLY
MISS THE WAY

WE MOVE TOGETHER.

SORRY,

BUT I--I HAVE
THIS DANCE.

THANKS.
YOU SAVED ME.

NO SWEAT.

WELL...

WELL...

LISTEN, I HAD FUN.

GOOD NIGHT.

WHAT'S WRONG?

LOOK, I DON'T WANT

TO HAVE TO PLAY
GAMES ANYMORE,

AND I DON'T WANT
TO HAVE TO FLIRT

AND DO
ALL THAT SHIT.

WHAT I'M TRYING TO
SAY IS--IS THAT...

YOU'RE A GOOD GUY.

I MEAN,

YOUR POLITICS ARE
ENTIRELY SCREWED UP

AND YOU'RE NOT
THE GREATEST WRITER,

BUT YOU'RE
NOT A PSYCHO,

AND YOU'RE CUTE,
IN A WAY, AND...

DON'T YOU
EVER GET LONELY?

I MEAN, I KNOW YOU HAVE
A LOT OF WOMEN,

BUT DON'T YOU JUST GET
LONELY ANYWAY?

YOU KNOW,
AND--AND SCARED?

LIKE--LIKE YOUR
WHOLE LIFE IS--

IS GOING BY.

YOUR DAYS AND
YOUR NIGHTS AND...

NOBODY'S AROUND
TO SEE IT EXCEPT...YOU.

I--I WOULD JUST--

I WOULD JUST LIKE
TO BE WITH YOU...

TONIGHT.

YOU'RE SHAKING.

DON'T TELL ME

YOU'VE NEVER DONE
THIS BEFORE.

NOT WITH YOU.

* DO YOU WANNA DANCE
AND HOLD MY HAND *

* TELL ME, BABY,
I'M YOUR LOVER MAN *

* OH, BABY

* DO YOU WANNA DANCE

* WE COULD DANCE
UNDER THE MOONLIGHT *

* KISS ME, BABY,
ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT *

* OH, BABY

* DO YOU WANNA DANCE

* DO YOU WANNA DANCE

* TAKE A CHANCE

* COME ON, PRETTY BABY,
AND MAKE ROMANCE *

* OH, BABY *

AND WILL YOU, OLGA,
HAVE THIS MAN OLAF

TO BE YOUR HUSBAND

AND TO LIVE WITH HIM
IN HOLY MARRIAGE

ACCORDING
TO THE WORD OF GOD?

JA. I DO.

I NOW PRONOUNCE THEM
TO BE HUSBAND AND WIFE.

YOU OWE ME
A DRINK.

WHAT GOD HAS
PUT TOGETHER,

LET NO ONE
PUT ASUNDER.

I'M SO PLEASED
TO HAVE YOU HERE TODAY.

THERE'S AN OLD SWEDISH
SAYING--HOW DOES IT GO?

[SPEAKING SWEDISH]

WELL, WHICH--WHICH
TRANSLATES LOOSELY TO...

"HAPPINESS IS EASY

IF YOU JUST TAKE OFF
YOUR OVERCOAT."

WELL, TODAY I TOOK OFF
MY OVERCOAT.

BUT ENOUGH SPEECHES.

LET'S DO THE CHICKEN
DANCE, HUH?

COME ON.

OH, THIS IS
HUNKY-DORY.

WANT TO DANCE?

NO. NO, NO, NO.

COME ON. PLEASE?

I MEAN--THEY'RE
JUST--NO.

BECAUSE THEN--AAH!

YOU'RE GREAT!

WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

HEY.

WHAT?

I LOVE YOU.

I MEAN, I'M NOT--
I'M NOT TELLING YOU THIS

SO THAT I'LL GET

THE EXACT SAME
RESPONSE FROM YOU.

I'M JUST
TELLING YOU THIS

BECAUSE THESE
ARE MY FEELINGS, YOU KNOW?

IF YOU CAN'T EXPRESS
YOUR FEELINGS,

WHAT'S THE POINT
OF HAVING THEM, RIGHT?

AND I FEEL REALLY GOOD

ABOUT TELLING YOU THIS,
YOU KNOW?

YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE TO
SAY ANYTHING IN RESPONSE.

REALLY. YOU DON'T
HAVE TO.

HA HA HA HA HA!

HERE YOU GO, SWEETIE.

THANK YOU.

HE PROBABLY DOESN'T
EVEN REMEMBER.

I MEAN, HE ALWAYS FORGETS
THE DETAILS.

YOU KNOW, ALL HE REMEMBERS
IS THE END RESULT.

I REMEMBER EVERY MOMENT
WE SPENT TOGETHER--

YOU KNOW,
ALL THE LITTLE THINGS,

LIKE THE TIME I FIXED
HIS CARBURETOR.

HE WAS SO IMPRESSED.

OR THE TIME
HE BROKE THE WINDOW.

REMEMBER? YOU HAD
TO CALL THE REPAIRMAN.

WHAT WINDOW?

OH, YEAH.
I REMEMBER.

I'M SURE HE DOESN'T.

WELL, ENOUGH OF THIS.

YOU KNOW, FROM NOW ON,
NO MORE LOOKING BACK.

DO YOU THINK
THAT GUY WATERBURY

AT THE NEW YORK TIMES
REMEMBERS ME?

BY THIS TIME NEXT WEEK,
I COULD HAVE A NEW JOB.

I THINK HIS NUMBER'S
STILL IN MY ROLODEX

BACK AT THE...STUDIO,

ALONG WITH MY CAR--

MY WHOLE LIFE.

LORIE, WHAT SHOULD
I DO WITH THESE?

THAT GOES IN THE BOX
WITH THE FILES.

THANK YOU, MARK.
I APPRECIATE IT.

YOU'RE SAVING MY LIFE.

THAT'S THE WAY
I SEE IT--OW!

YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S
GOING TO BE TOSSED AROUND

ON HE SAID, SHE SAID.

SEE HANSON AND BRYER,
ROUND TWO,

TOMORROW AT NOON
ON CHANNEL 11.

WALLY, WHAT IN
THE HELL IS GOING ON

WITH THESE
COMMERCIALS?

I CAN'T TALK MORE
RIGHT NOW.

HE CAN TELL YOU
ALL ABOUT IT.

YEAH. DO WHAT YOU CAN.
GOT TO GO. BYE.

WALLY, YOU ARE
ADVERTISING A SHOW

THAT IS NOT GOING
TO BE ON. OK?

LOOK AT THESE
PHONE MESSAGES.

"GOOD FOR LORIE.
IT'S ABOUT TIME."

YOU'RE A HERO.

YOU DID SOMETHING
MOST WOMEN

WOULD LOVE TO DO
TO THEIR HUSBANDS.

I DON'T WANT
TO BE A HERO,

AND HE...IS NOT
MY HUSBAND.

THE LAST THING
HE'LL EVER BE

IS MY HUSBAND.

ALL RIGHT? DO YOU
UNDERSTAND THAT?

TOTALLY. BUT THEY ALL
WANT TO SEE

WHAT YOU'LL DO
TOMORROW.

WELLER WANTS TO SEE.
THAT'S WHY HE'S COMING.

THEN HE'S GOING TO SEE
A LOT OF NOTHING.

BECAUSE IT'S--
WE--WELL...

IT'S OVER.
ALL RIGHT?

DAN AND I, WE...

WE BROKE UP.

MY GOD.

I'M SORRY.

I'M REALLY SORRY.

BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU
CAN'T DO THE SHOW, DOES IT?

IT MIGHT EVEN MAKE IT
MORE INTERESTING.

I CAN'T
BELIEVE YOU, WALLY.

YOU'RE SUCH A MAN.

THANKS.

HOW CAN YOU SEPARATE
LOVE AND WORK LIKE THAT?

WELL--

IS IT--

LOVE IS LOVE.

WORK IS WORK.

LOVE.

WORK.

WORK ISN'T LOVE,

AND LOVE
SHOULDN'T BE WO--

OH, ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.

LOOK, I'LL MAKE IT
EASY FOR YOU.

WE'LL TAPE HIS HALF
BEFORE YOU GET THERE.

YOU'LL NEVER EVEN
HAVE TO SEE HIM.

I'M THROUGH, WALLY.

ALL RIGHT. LOOK.

IT'S NOT UP TO ME
ANYMORE.

YOU'VE STILL GOT
A CONTRACT WITH WBAL.

I'M NOT GOING
TO GET TOUGH WITH YOU,

BUT THE LAWYERS
WILL EAT YOU ALIVE.

THANK YOU, WALLY.
I APPRECIATE THAT.

YOU'RE SOME FRIEND.

LORIE, PLEASE.

LINDA METZGER
ON LINE ONE.

TELL HER I'LL
CALL HER BACK.

LINDA METZGER.

WHAT, IS SHE CALLING
HERE FOR DAN NOW?

FOR DAN? NO.
LINDA AND I GO WAY BACK.

SHE'S NOTHING.

SHE'S BEEN CHASING
ME SINCE COLLEGE.

IT'S A FATAL
ATTRACTION THING.

WELL, SHE MAY
BE NOTHING TO YOU,

BUT JUST THE MENTION OF HER
NAME MAKES ME WANT TO...

OHH...

OH, LINDA.

WHAT?

WHAT?

WHAT DID YOU
JUST SAY?

UH, I SAID--I SAID,
"OH, LINDA."

I'M--I'M REALLY SORRY.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

I-I'M SORRY.

NO. I CAN UNDERSTAND
HOW IT COULD HAPPEN.

WE'RE BOTH WOMEN.

BOTH OUR NAMES
BEGIN WITH L.

YOU'RE SLEEPING
WITH BOTH OF US.

I DON'T SLEEP
WITH HER ANYMORE.

WHEN DID YOU STOP?

WHEN YOU AND I
STARTED GOING OUT.

STARTED? WHAT DOES
THAT MEAN?

DID YOU SLEEP WITH HER
AFTER YOU SLEPT WITH ME?

I--I--I--I--I
CAN'T REMEMBER.

YOU CAN'T REMEMBER?

THINK. THINK.

THINK, DAN, THINK.

WAS THERE SOMEBODY ELSE
IN YOUR BED WITH YOU

THAT WASN'T ME?

I DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN, I'M SURE
WE PROBABLY DID ONCE.

ALL RIGHT. TWICE.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
TO FEEL BAD ABOUT--

THAT THE MINUTE
WE TOUCHED,

ALL MY OTHER INVOLVEMENTS
DIDN'T JUST MELT AWAY?

NOT ALL
YOUR INVOLVEMENTS.

JUST ALL YOUR SEXUAL
INVOLVEMENTS.

WHAT IS
THE BIG DEAL?

THE BIG DEAL IS THAT
FROM THE MOMENT

I WENT TO BED WITH YOU,

SLEEPING
WITH ANOTHER MAN

BECAME UNTHINKABLE
TO ME.

BUT FOR YOU,

SLEEPING WITH ANOTHER WOMAN
REMAINED...THINKABLE.

YEAH, BUT THAT
WAS IN THE BEGINNING.

LET'S TALK ABOUT NOW.

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO--

THE ONE WHO WHAT?

THE ONE WHO I'M--
I'M WITH NOW.

ISN'T THAT
WHAT COUNTS?

I WANT TO MEET HER.

HONEY, DO YOU
REALLY THINK

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA?

I WANT TO MEET HER.

I'VE BEEN WORKING
ON OUR NEW FALL LINE.

LORIE, I HAVE
THE CATALOG RIGHT HERE.

YOU SHOULD LOOK AT IT.

I'M SURE WE COULD
FIND YOU SOMETHING

THAT WOULD BE
FLATTERING.

HONEY.

WHAT?

LORIE AND I HAVE
THIS THIS THING

THAT WE DO WITH OUR FOOD.

DAN.

OH, DON'T BE
EMBARRASSED, LORIE.

DAN TELLS ME EVERYTHING.

BUT I'M SURE YOU KNOW
MOST OF HIS SECRETS.

WELL...

WELL, MAYBE NOT
ALL OF THEM.

AAH HA HA HA HA HA!

WE LOST OUR VIRGINITY
TOGETHER. DID HE TELL YOU?

WE WERE JUST 14.
JUST KIDS.

BUT EVEN THEN
HE WAS INCREDIBLE.

WELL...

DON'T YOU THINK SO?

OVER THE YEARS,
I'VE KEPT A DIARY

OF THE SEXUAL POSITIONS
THAT WORKED THE BEST FOR US.

JUST A FEW NOTES
AND SOME DRAWINGS.

WOULD YOU LIKE
TO SEE THEM?

HONEY, WHAT
DO YOU SAY?

LET'S SEE.

HERE'S ONE.
MARCH 17, 1980.

WHOOPS.

HA HA HA HA HA!

DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?

YEAH. THAT WAS
IN THE KITCHEN.

RIGHT.

SEE? YOU CAN SEE
FROM THE DRAWING

JUST WHERE TO PUT
THE BLENDER.

OH, LINDA.

I THINK THIS ONE
WOULD BE JUST CUTE ON YOU.

HONEY, YOU OK?

WHY DON'T YOU TWO

JUST GO TO BED TOGETHER
AND GET IT OVER WITH?

I'M GOING TO
GET OUT OF HERE.

LORIE, WHAT KIND
OF A STUNT IS THIS?

JUST SEEING THE WAY
YOU WERE ACTING,

I DIDN'T THINK THERE
WAS ROOM FOR ME.

YOU WERE THE ONE
THAT WANTED TO MEET HER.

YES. I REALIZE THAT,
BUT I--

IF YOU CAN BE THAT WAY
WITH SOMEBODY ELSE,

I CAN'T BE WITH YOU
RIGHT NOW.

STAND BY, PLEASE.

OK, KIDS,
DON'T BE NERVOUS.

IT'S JUST
AN AUDITION TAPE.

IF IT'S BAD,
WE THROW IT OUT

AND NO ONE OVER KNOWS,

BUT IT WON'T BE BAD.
YOU GUYS WILL BE GREAT.

WALLY, THIS ISN'T
THE COPY I WROTE.

WE HAD TO TRIM IT.

IT'S NOT LIKE
NEWSPAPERS.

WE DON'T HAVE
A LOT OF TIME.

JUST BOOM, BOOM, AND ON
TO THE NEXT COMMERCIAL.

I THOUGHT WE'D BE WRITING.

THIS IS AN OPINION SHOW.

THEY ARE OUR OPINIONS.

YOU WILL, DEAR.
IT'S JUST TODAY.

THEY JUST WANT TO SEE HOW
WE LOOK ON CAMERA, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES
IT MAKE IF IT'S OUR COPY?

HONEY, DON'T BLOW THIS.

I'M NOT.

YOU WANT TO KNOW
THE SECRET?

JUST SMILE
BIG AND PRETTY.

YEAH. YOU'RE GOING
TO BE GREAT.

HERE WE GO.

I GOT TO GO.

WOW, IT'S TRUE.

THE CAMERA REALLY
DOES ADD WEIGHT.

8...7...6...5...4...

THERE'S A SPOT
ON YOUR DRESS.

3...2...

HI, I'M DAN HANSON.

[TOO LOUD]
AND I'M LORIE BRYER.

THIS IS HE SAID...

SHE SAID!

STOP TAPE, PLEASE.

LORIE.

LORIE, HONEY,
IT'S GOING GREAT,

BUT THIS ISN'T
A GAME SHOW.

MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T
SMILE QUITE SO BIG.

BUT SHE SAID--

SHE'S GUIDED
MANY GREAT CAREERS.

THE ENTHUSIASM
IS WONDERFUL.

WE DON'T NEED TO SEE
SO MANY TEETH.

OK.

OTHERWISE,
I'M THRILLED.

OK, LET'S GO AGAIN.

YOU'RE DOING THIS
ON PURPOSE.

I AM NOT.
I'M NERVOUS.

WHERE IS THIS SPOT?

ON YOUR BOOB.
YOUR LEFT BOOB.

HI, I'M DAN HANSON.

AND I'M LORIE BRYER.

THIS IS HE SAID...

SHE SAID.

OUR ISSUE TODAY
IS GARBAGE.

OUR DUMPS WILL BE
FILLED IN 10 YEARS.

WHAT THEN?

A LOT OF PEOPLE FEEL

IT'S THE GOVERNMENT'S
RESPONSIBILITY.

AND MAYBE THEY'RE RIGHT,

BUT AS MY UNCLE OLAF
USED TO SAY,

"IF YOU MAKE THE TRASH,
YOU TAKE IT OUT."

WHAT THE HELL
IS SHE DOING?

STOP TAPE, PLEASE.

HONEY, WE'RE BOTH
ON CAMERA.

IF YOU DIDN'T WANT
TO DO THIS, SAY SO.

I DID IF YOU RECALL.

I'M DOING
THE BEST I CAN.

CAN WE TRY THIS
AGAIN?

WE ALWAYS DO WHAT
YOU WANT TO DO.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

I SPEND ALMOST EVERY NIGHT
AT YOUR PLACE.

YOU DON'T WANT
TO BE WITH ME?

YES. IT'S NOT MY APARTMENT.
I FEEL LIKE A STRANGER.

YOU THINK OF YOURSELF
THAT WAY.

I DON'T HAVE ANYPLACE
TO PUT MY STUFF.

AND WHAT ABOUT
ALL OF YOUR MAN THINGS

ALL OVER THE PLACE?

MAN THINGS?

YES. BIG CLUNKY SHOES

AND THAT BIG
3-D MAP OF THE WORLD.

YOU'RE THE ONLY MAN
IN NORTH AMERICA

WHO STILL WEARS PAJAMAS?

HOLD IT!

WHY DON'T WE TAKE
A SHORT BREAK

AND THEN MAYBE
TRY IT AGAIN,

OK?

GOOD.

I DIDN'T MEAN
TO LOOK LIKE A RETARD.

HEY, IT'S
NO BIG DEAL.

WE GOT THE BEST JOBS
IN BALTIMORE.

SO TELEVISION
DOESN'T WANT US.

IT'S TELEVISION'S
LOSS.

YOU KNOW, YOU DRAG
ME OUT HERE,

YOU SCARE ME TO DEATH,

AND JUST WHEN I THINK I HAVE
ALL THE RIGHT REASONS

TO BE MAD AT YOU,

THAT'S WHEN
YOU'RE THE NICEST.

YOU'RE ONTO
ALL MY TRICKS.

WELL.

COME ON.

I WAS SO AWFUL.

NO, YOU WEREN'T.

I WAS.

I WAS TERRIBLE.

I COULD HAVE
JUST DIED.

LORIE.

WHAT?

HONEY, LET'S DO IT.

LET'S MOVE IN
TOGETHER.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

WELL, GUYS, WE WENT
OVER THE TAPE,

AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
YOU LOOK GREAT.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

I SAY YES.

YOU WERE CRAZY
TO TELL US WE WERE GOOD.

DID YOU WANT
THE TRUTH?

I THINK IT'S
A BEAUTIFUL STORY.

BESIDES, YOU
SHOULD BE GRATEFUL.

I HELPED YOU.

NOW THERE ARE OTHER
PEOPLE YOU CAN HELP.

THIS CAN'T
BE HAPPENING.

THIS IS A NIGHTMARE.

WORK WITH ME, GOD.

LORIE, I'M BEGGING YOU
NOT TO DO THIS.

BYE, BOSS.
SEE YOU TOMORROW.

AND YOU. YOU JUDAS.

YOU MAY NOT HAVE
A JOB TOMORROW!

I MAY NOT HAVE
A JOB TOMORROW!

PLEASE.

WAIT! WAIT!

COME BACK.

OH, FORGET
ABOUT WALLY.

YOU LOOK
A LITTLE RAGGED.

YOU KNOW,

I DON'T MIND
HELPING YOU.

GOOD.

OH, MY GOD.

OH, MY GOD,
STOP THE CAR.

STOP THE CAR.
STOP THE CAR. BACK UP.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

PLEASE, JUST...

GOD!

WHAT?

SHIT! OF ALL
THE RESTAURANTS.

WOULD YOU
LOOK AT THAT JERK?

AND AT OUR TABLE, TOO.

GOD!

LORIE, STOP
TORTURING YOURSELF.

COME ON, LET ME
TAKE YOU HOME.

NO.

MARK, COULD YOU
BE A PAL

AND DO ME
A REALLY BIG FAVOR?

WHAT?

WELL?

HE'S GOING
TO GO TO HER HOTEL.

HE'S, UH...

HE'S GOING TO SPEND
THE NIGHT WITH HER.

TO HELL WITH HIM.

RIGHT.

TO HELL WITH HER.

NO. NO, WAIT.

WE'RE GOING OVER THERE.

WHAT? LORIE!

THE NEXT THING I KNOW,
WHACK--I SAW STARS.

WE HAVE A RIGHT
TO EAT, TOO, RIGHT?

I COULD HAVE BEEN
SERIOUSLY INJURED.

SHE'S LUCKY
I DON'T SUE.

WE'LL SIT,
HAVE LUNCH.

TRY THE CAESAR SALAD.

MAYBE HE'LL CHOKE
ON HIS CROUTONS.

BLOOD'S POURING
OUT OF MY HEAD.

SHE GOES STORMING OUT.

ALL HELL'S
BREAKING LOOSE--

DAN, SHE'S RIGHT
OVER THERE,

BY THE DOOR.

HI! I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE HERE.

SHE'S GOT SOME NERVE.

THAT JERK.

THE CORPSE OF OUR
RELATIONSHIP NOT EVEN COLD...

OK. I CAN DO THIS, TOO.

MAY WE JOIN YOU?

YES, COME ON OVER.

OK.
SURE.

LINDA, HOW NICE
TO SEE YOU.

SIT.

AND, OF COURSE,
LINDA,

YOU
REMEMBER MARK.

SO, HERE WE ARE.

YES, AREN'T WE, THOUGH?

ISN'T THIS GREAT,

THAT WE CAN ALL
GET TOGETHER LIKE THIS

SO SOON
AFTER OUR BREAKUP?

OH, DID DAN
TELL YOU, LINDA?

WE BROKE UP.

OH, OF COURSE HE DID.

HE TELLS YOU EVERYTHING,
DOESN'T HE?

IT'S GREAT YOU CAN BE
SO ADULT ABOUT THIS.

WELL, THANK YOU, DAN.

YOU'VE CERTAINLY
BOUNCED BACK.

WHAT IS IT, FOUR HOURS?
HERE YOU ARE ON SCHEDULE.

I HAD A CHOICE.

I COULD SIT AROUND
AND WALLOW

OR I COULD
KEEP MY DATE.

WHY DON'T WE
GO SOMEPLACE ELSE?

NO! THIS IS FINE.
I LOVE THIS PLACE.

DAN AND I HAD
OUR FIRST DATE HERE

AT THIS VERY TABLE.

YES. DO YOU
REMEMBER, DAN?

I WOULDN'T QUITE
CALL IT A DATE.

WE HAD DINNER.

SHE ATE MOST OF MY FOOD,
THEN ASSAULTED ME.

THAT'S WHY
IT'S FOR THE BEST.

NOW WE'RE FREE,
AREN'T WE?

FREE TO PURSUE OUR CAREERS,
TO PURSUE...OTHER PEOPLE,

ALTHOUGH I DIDN'T THINK

THE PURSUIT
WOULD START SO SOON.

LORIE, YOU'VE
GOT IT ALL WRONG.

THERE'S NOTHING
GOING ON HERE.

OH, OF COURSE NOT.

DAN WOULD NEVER--
YOU FLIRTATIOUS ASS!

YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED
ONE MOMENT

FROM THE FIRST TIME
I SAW YOU.

HOW COULD YOU THINK--

HOW COULD I--
YOU FOLLOWED ME HERE.

I WAS NOT
FOLLOWING YOU.

WHO'S SITTING
AT OUR TABLE?

WHOSE FAT BUTT
IS AT OUR TABLE?

IT'S NOT OUR TABLE
ANYMORE.

WHOSE FAULT IS THAT?

YOURS!
YOURS!

STAY, STAY!
IT'S YOUR TABLE.

YOU'RE BOTH BEING
SELF-DESTRUCTIVE.

I HAVE TO AGREE.

SHUT UP!

I THINK
WE SHOULD GO.

OH, SHE THINKS.

LEAVE HER
OUT OF THIS.

LEAVE HER
OUT OF THIS?

I'D LOVE
TO LEAVE HER...

DAN, ARE YOU
ALL RIGHT?

SOME PEOPLE SAY THE NEWS
ISN'T ENTERTAINMENT,

BUT THEY MIGHT
CHANGE THEIR MINDS

IF THEY WERE WATCHING
STATION WBAL IN BALTIMORE.

LINDA. LINDA,
COME HERE.

COMMENTATOR
LORRAINE BRYER

DECIDED TO EXPRESS
HER OPINION

A LITTLE MORE
FORCEFULLY THAN USUAL

AND THREW A COFFEE CUP
AT HER CO-ANCHOR,

WHO AT LAST REPORT

IS IN STABLE,
IF CONFUSED, CONDITION.

THE SMALL STATION
WAS FLOODED WITH CALLS

WONDERING WHAT
WILL HAPPEN TOMORROW.

I'M GLAD YOU
DON'T DRINK COFFEE.

YES, BUT I DO
DRINK HOT TEA.

[CLICK]

WE MADE E.T.!

THAT IS SO GREAT.

LORIE WILL TOTALLY
HATE THIS.

I WONDER IF SHE SAW IT.

OH, WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES IT MAKE?

HEY, DON'T BE BLUE.

MAYBE IT'S
FOR THE BEST.

NO, NO. I KNOW.
YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'M GLAD IT'S OVER.

I DON'T NEED
TO BE HIT IN THE HEAD.

NOT THREE TIMES,
ANYWAY.

WOW, THAT PERFUME
IS, UH...

SO...

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

DO WE GO TO BED
TOGETHER?

I--I CAN'T SLEEP HERE.

I DON'T HAVE
MY PAJAMAS.

I DON'T THINK YOU'RE
GOING TO NEED THEM.

PART OF ME WANTS TO,
BUT I--I CAN'T.

DAN, YOU'VE
CHANGED A LOT,

BUT I THINK
I HAVE, TOO.

WE'VE ALWAYS HAD A LOT
OF LAUGHS AND GOOD SEX.

MAYBE WE'RE READY
FOR SOMETHING MORE.

I THINK I AM.

OH, LINDA...

I'M SORRY.

DAN...

GO HOME AND
GET YOUR PAJAMAS.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

HI.

HI.

I DIDN'T
HAVE MY PAJAMAS,

AND I HAD
NO PLACE TO WEAR THEM

SINCE YOU
KICKED ME OUT.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE
STAYING WITH LINDA.

NO.

OH.

IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA
FOR YOU TO STAY HERE.

WHERE WOULD YOU
SUGGEST I STAY?

WHAT ABOUT A HOTEL?

IT'S LATE. I DON'T WANT
TO STAY AT A HOTEL.

ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.

YOU CAN...
SLEEP ON THE COUCH.

BUT JUST
FOR TONIGHT.

AND DON'T THINK
JUST 'CAUSE--

BELIEVE ME...

I WON'T.

THANKS.

I HAVE TO GO
WORK ON MY COPY.

DID THE LAWYER
CALL YOU?

YEAH.

ONE MORE SHOW, HUH?

YEAH.

WELL...

I GUESS IT'S ALL
FOR THE BEST.

DEFINITELY.

WELL...

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

[CRYING]

DAN?

IT'S OK, HONEY.
I'M ALL RIGHT.

DAN?

I THINK I'D LIKE
SOME CHEESECAKE.

WHAT?

I THINK YOU COULD
USE SOME, TOO.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I COULD DEFINITELY
USE SOME CHEESECAKE.

OK.

YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO REMEMBER

ANY OF THIS, ARE YOU?

LORIE...

I LOVE YOU.

I'M CRAZY ABOUT YOU.

DON'T EVER LEAVE ME,
PLEASE.

I WANT TO SPEND THE REST
OF MY LIFE WITH YOU.

I'LL GO GET US
SOME CHEESECAKE.

THAT'S THE WAY
I SEE IT.

OK. STOP TAPE.
THAT'S IT.

MR. WELLER.

WELL...MISS BRYER.

I UNDERSTAND IT'S NOT
GOING TO WORK OUT FOR US.

WELL, I'M SORRY
TO HEAR THAT.

I WATCHED
THE TAPING JUST NOW.

IT'S NOT THE SAME
WITHOUT BOTH OF YOU THERE.

YOU KNOW...

I REALIZED, STANDING
OUT THERE WATCHING,

EXACTLY WHY I LOVE
YOUR SHOW SO MUCH.

IT'S NOT THE ISSUES,

NOT THE SOCIAL
SIGNIFICANCE,

BUT IT'S BECAUSE THERE'S
ALWAYS THIS POSSIBILITY

THAT YOUR WIFE,
YOUR HUSBAND,

YOUR GIRLFRIEND,
WHATEVER,

WILL DO EXACTLY WHAT
YOU DID YESTERDAY.

IT'S WHAT MAKES LIFE
INTERESTING.

[RUNS WATER]

STAND BY, PLEASE.

7...

6...

5...

4...

3...

2...

1.

AND NOW, PERKELL HEATING
AND COOLING BRINGS YOU...

I'M SORRY, SIR,
VERY SORRY.

ME, TOO.

THEY'RE
A NICE COUPLE.

TODAY'S TOPIC,

THE MAYOR'S COUNCIL
ON MENTAL WELL-BEING.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

BEFORE I BEGIN TODAY,

I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE
TO THE VIEWING PUBLIC

FOR MY IRRATIONAL

AND TOTALLY
INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR

ON YESTERDAY'S SHOW.

AND I WOULD ALSO LIKE
TO CLEAR SOMETHING UP

CONCERNING THE PROPOSED
HIGHWAY MERGER.

I WOULD JUST
LIKE TO SAY THAT...

MY OPPONENT IS RIGHT.

THE MERGER IS...
NOT NEEDED.

SOME THINGS
ARE JUST NOT MEANT TO BE.

YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN
MAKE THEM GO

IN THE SAME DIRECTION,

BUT ALL YOU GET IS...

CONGESTION AND
INCREASED TRAFFIC AND...

HURT.

THE HIGHWAYS
SHOULD BE ALLOWED

TO RUN THEIR COURSE.

I WOULD ALSO
LIKE TO SAY...

DAN...

WHEREVER YOU ARE...

LOOK. I CLEANED MY CUP.

CUT TO THE LOGO.
START DAN'S TAPE.

OH, MAN.
POOR LORIE.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

BEFORE I BEGIN
MY REBUTTAL, LORIE,

I WOULD LIKE
TO MAKE A STATEMENT

ABOUT THE PROPOSED
HIGHWAY MERGER.

I WOULD LIKE
TO GO ON RECORD

AS REVERSING
MY ORIGINAL OPINION.

THE HIGHWAYS ARE RIPE
FOR A MERGER.

THIS PROPOSAL WILL
ENSURE THE FUTURE GROWTH

THAT IS SORELY NEEDED.

AS MY UNCLE OLAF
USED TO--

NO. NO.

I'M--I'M NOT GOING
TO SAY THAT ANYMORE.

IT'S NOT MY UNCLE OLAF
TALKING, LORIE.

IT'S ME.

AND WHAT
I'M SAYING IS THAT...

I WOULD LIKE
ANOTHER CHANCE.

I JUST DON'T WANT
TO BE APART FROM YOU.

AND THAT'S
THE WAY I SEE IT.

DOES THIS MEAN...

PRETTY SCARY, HUH?

YEAH.

OH, NO. MY CONTACT.

IT JUST
POPPED OUT AGAIN.

HOLD ON.
I'LL FIND IT.

YOU'LL JUST
CRUSH IT AGAIN.

I NEVER CRUSHED IT.

DAN, YOU DID.

SEE? MAGIC.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK

ABOUT THE
MAYOR'S COUNCIL

ON MENTAL WELL-BEING?

WHAT DO YOU THINK
I THINK?

I KNEW IT.

YOU WANT THIS
ON THE AIR?

NO, RAY. NO.

SOME THINGS
ARE MORE IMPORTANT

THAN A TELEVISION SHOW.
EVEN I UNDERSTAND THAT.

THESE KIDS DESERVE
THEIR PRIVACY.

THEY DON'T NEED THEIR
RELATIONSHIP EXPLOITED

SO THAT WE CAN...

CAMERA ONE,
GET ON DAN.

CAMERA TWO,
PUSH IN CLOSER ON LORIE.

WELL, I GUESS
SHE WON THAT ONE.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

HE WON.

WHAT'S THE USE
EVEN TALKING TO YOU?

YOU'RE AN OLD FOOL.

THAT MAKES YOU
MRS. FOOL.