Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,030 --> 00:00:03,020
Hi, there.
2
00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:04,420
What's going on here?
3
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:06,130
Puppy!
4
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:06,130
A puppy is here!
5
00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:07,860
Can we keep him?
6
00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:07,860
My neighbor's
7
00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:07,860
dog had a litter.
8
00:00:07,940 --> 00:00:09,030
They're looking
9
00:00:07,940 --> 00:00:09,030
for people to adopt.
10
00:00:09,100 --> 00:00:10,160
I love him.
11
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:12,500
I wish he had
12
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:12,500
tiny puppy shoes.
13
00:00:12,570 --> 00:00:14,480
I would totally shine
14
00:00:12,570 --> 00:00:14,480
his little shoes for free.
15
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,410
I do say
16
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,410
the cutest stuff.
17
00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,570
Look, I love a good dog
18
00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,570
as much as the next guy,
19
00:00:19,650 --> 00:00:21,640
but this building
20
00:00:19,650 --> 00:00:21,640
doesn't allow animals.
21
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:23,350
Andy,
22
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:23,350
take him outside.
23
00:00:23,420 --> 00:00:24,510
What, and shoot him?
24
00:00:24,590 --> 00:00:27,110
No. Just keep
25
00:00:24,590 --> 00:00:27,110
him outside.
26
00:00:27,190 --> 00:00:30,350
Oh, come on, Ron.
27
00:00:27,190 --> 00:00:30,350
I'm just a little puppy.
28
00:00:30,890 --> 00:00:33,890
I ain't done nothing wrong.
29
00:00:30,890 --> 00:00:33,890
I'm just a puppy.
30
00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:38,790
I like your mustache.
31
00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:38,790
I wish I could have one.
32
00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:38,790
But I can't.
33
00:00:39,470 --> 00:00:41,330
Because I'm just
34
00:00:39,470 --> 00:00:41,330
a little puppy.
35
00:00:44,310 --> 00:00:46,040
Okay, take him out
36
00:00:44,310 --> 00:00:46,040
and shoot him.
37
00:01:06,530 --> 00:01:07,760
Fire! Fire! Fire!
38
00:01:07,830 --> 00:01:09,320
What? Where?
39
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,330
In my belly.
40
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,330
Because the 24-hour
41
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,460
Pawnee Cares
42
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,460
Diabetes Telethon
43
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:15,440
starts tonight.
44
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:15,440
Goody.
45
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:16,970
Let us know
46
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:16,970
how it went.
47
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:21,100
Every year, Pawnee Cares
48
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:21,100
teams up with the local
49
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:21,100
cable access station
50
00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:23,200
to raise money for
51
00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:23,200
diabetes research.
52
00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:27,720
And it's important, because
53
00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:27,720
Pawnee is the fourth-fattest
54
00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:27,720
town in the U.S.
55
00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:33,520
It goes us, Dallas, Tulsa
56
00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:33,520
and certain parts of
57
00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:33,520
The Mall of America.
58
00:01:33,690 --> 00:01:37,250
Well, this year,
59
00:01:33,690 --> 00:01:37,250
I get to program my
60
00:01:33,690 --> 00:01:37,250
own four-hour block.
61
00:01:37,490 --> 00:01:39,550
I know. Exciting!
62
00:01:39,730 --> 00:01:42,200
So, I have signed you
63
00:01:39,730 --> 00:01:42,200
all up for multiple shifts.
64
00:01:42,260 --> 00:01:45,060
Yes, just to answer phones
65
00:01:42,260 --> 00:01:45,060
and provide moral support.
66
00:01:45,130 --> 00:01:46,190
From when to when?
67
00:01:46,270 --> 00:01:47,290
Tonight.
68
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,060
From 2:00 a.m.
69
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,060
to 6:00 a.m.
70
00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:50,130
What?
71
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:51,300
No. Leslie, please.
72
00:01:52,410 --> 00:01:54,170
Tonight's kind of
73
00:01:52,410 --> 00:01:54,170
a big night.
74
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:57,210
You know, all my
75
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:57,210
kids are away, and...
76
00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:01,240
Gross! No!
77
00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:01,240
It's Jerry's sex night.
78
00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:01,240
That ruins sex and tonight.
79
00:02:01,450 --> 00:02:03,890
Why don't you put on
80
00:02:01,450 --> 00:02:03,890
one of these T-shirts?
81
00:02:01,450 --> 00:02:03,890
It will get you in the mood.
82
00:02:03,950 --> 00:02:06,080
I stayed up all night
83
00:02:03,950 --> 00:02:06,080
last night making these.
84
00:02:06,150 --> 00:02:09,060
You stayed up
85
00:02:06,150 --> 00:02:09,060
all night the night before
86
00:02:06,150 --> 00:02:09,060
an all-night telethon.
87
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:11,150
Yes. And here's why. Boom.
88
00:02:11,490 --> 00:02:13,690
"Diabetes.
89
00:02:11,490 --> 00:02:13,690
Let's Dia-beat-this."
90
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,290
Yeah. Four hours
91
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,290
to come up
92
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,290
with the slogan.
93
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:19,340
Four hours
94
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:19,340
to embroider them.
95
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:19,340
Time well spent.
96
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,330
Salad sucks.
97
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,330
There. I said it.
98
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:23,800
Feel better?
99
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:23,800
Yep.
100
00:02:23,870 --> 00:02:25,430
I've been doing
101
00:02:23,870 --> 00:02:25,430
some thinking.
102
00:02:25,510 --> 00:02:27,570
I'm not going to ask
103
00:02:25,510 --> 00:02:27,570
Ann to move in with me.
104
00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:29,980
Why? Is something wrong?
105
00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:29,980
No. I'm going to
106
00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:29,980
ask her to marry me.
107
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:33,680
I love her.
108
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:33,680
And I want a partner.
109
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:33,680
Horseback.
110
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,610
You should ask
111
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,610
her on horseback.
112
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,610
What?
113
00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:37,590
No, you should ask her
114
00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:37,590
in a hot air balloon.
115
00:02:37,650 --> 00:02:39,380
No. She should be on
116
00:02:37,650 --> 00:02:39,380
the hot air balloon,
117
00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:40,720
and you should
118
00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:40,720
ride up on horseback.
119
00:02:40,790 --> 00:02:43,380
Oh. Wait. She's in
120
00:02:40,790 --> 00:02:43,380
the balloon, you ride
121
00:02:40,790 --> 00:02:43,380
up on horseback,
122
00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:45,930
you point to the sky,
123
00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:45,930
up there, skywriting,
124
00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:45,930
"Marry me, Ann."
125
00:02:45,990 --> 00:02:48,520
I think I can figure out
126
00:02:45,990 --> 00:02:48,520
the right way to ask her.
127
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,970
How you ask someone
128
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,970
to marry you is
129
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,970
a very big deal.
130
00:02:52,030 --> 00:02:54,560
I mean, they have to
131
00:02:52,030 --> 00:02:54,560
repeat that story for
132
00:02:52,030 --> 00:02:54,560
the rest of their lives.
133
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:55,800
So, you think
134
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:55,800
I should do it, though.
135
00:02:55,870 --> 00:02:56,900
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
136
00:02:55,870 --> 00:02:56,900
yeah, yeah.
137
00:02:56,970 --> 00:02:59,240
Definitely.
138
00:02:56,970 --> 00:02:59,240
Can you get five eagles?
139
00:02:56,970 --> 00:02:59,240
No, get ten eagles.
140
00:02:59,310 --> 00:03:00,640
Leslie.
141
00:02:59,310 --> 00:03:00,640
No, you're right.
142
00:02:59,310 --> 00:03:00,640
It's your life.
143
00:03:00,710 --> 00:03:02,010
Get as many
144
00:03:00,710 --> 00:03:02,010
eagles as you want.
145
00:03:02,410 --> 00:03:04,570
So, Tom, you're in
146
00:03:02,410 --> 00:03:04,570
for tonight, right?
147
00:03:04,650 --> 00:03:06,840
I forgot to tell you.
148
00:03:04,650 --> 00:03:06,840
I can't make it
149
00:03:04,650 --> 00:03:06,840
to the telethon tonight,
150
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,350
because I have no
151
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,350
interest in being there.
152
00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:12,860
Okay. You're in charge
153
00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:12,860
of the VIP special
154
00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:12,860
telethon guest.
155
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:14,120
You're never going
156
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:14,120
to believe who I got.
157
00:03:14,190 --> 00:03:15,320
People are going
158
00:03:14,190 --> 00:03:15,320
to freak out.
159
00:03:15,390 --> 00:03:16,760
Rihanna.
160
00:03:15,390 --> 00:03:16,760
No.
161
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:18,230
Dr. Oz.
162
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:18,230
Nope.
163
00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:20,990
You're never
164
00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:20,990
going to guess.
165
00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:20,990
Justin Bieber.
166
00:03:21,060 --> 00:03:26,090
No. Ex-Indiana
167
00:03:21,060 --> 00:03:26,090
Pacers small forward,
168
00:03:21,060 --> 00:03:26,090
Detlef Schrempf.
169
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,100
The Detlef Schrempf?
170
00:03:29,170 --> 00:03:31,540
I know!
171
00:03:29,170 --> 00:03:31,540
So, it's really exciting.
172
00:03:31,610 --> 00:03:33,370
Wow.
173
00:03:31,610 --> 00:03:33,370
And I need you
174
00:03:31,610 --> 00:03:33,370
to be his body-man.
175
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,240
Pick him up
176
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,240
at the airport
177
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,240
at 7:00 p.m.
178
00:03:35,310 --> 00:03:37,070
And then, you know,
179
00:03:35,310 --> 00:03:37,070
just entertain him.
180
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,140
Because he doesn't
181
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,140
need to be in hair
182
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,140
and makeup until 2:00 a.m.
183
00:03:39,210 --> 00:03:41,340
Does Pawnee Cable
184
00:03:39,210 --> 00:03:41,340
Access even have
185
00:03:39,210 --> 00:03:41,340
hair and makeup?
186
00:03:41,420 --> 00:03:44,880
Well, they have
187
00:03:41,420 --> 00:03:44,880
a communal lipstick
188
00:03:41,420 --> 00:03:44,880
and a box of combs.
189
00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:48,720
As a nurse and as your
190
00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:48,720
friend, I highly suggest
191
00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:48,720
you don't try to stay up
192
00:03:48,790 --> 00:03:49,880
for the next 24 hours.
193
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:51,120
I can definitely do it.
194
00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:55,290
I've already been up
195
00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:55,290
for 24 hours. But I
196
00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:55,290
have a secret weapon.
197
00:03:57,630 --> 00:03:59,260
NutriYum bars?
198
00:03:57,630 --> 00:03:59,260
Leslie.
199
00:03:59,330 --> 00:04:00,930
I know, I know.
200
00:03:59,330 --> 00:04:00,930
They're terrible.
201
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,560
But they give me
202
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,560
an insane 15-minute burst.
203
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:04,830
Plus, my nana
204
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:04,830
used to tell me,
205
00:04:04,910 --> 00:04:06,070
"You'll sleep
206
00:04:04,910 --> 00:04:06,070
when you're dead."
207
00:04:06,140 --> 00:04:08,170
My nana, she used
208
00:04:06,140 --> 00:04:08,170
to say the best stuff.
209
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,040
"Don't work yourself
210
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,040
into a lather."
211
00:04:10,110 --> 00:04:11,670
"Look where it is
212
00:04:10,110 --> 00:04:11,670
and you'll find it."
213
00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:14,510
"Don't put me in a home."
214
00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:14,510
"Tell the truth
215
00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:14,510
and shame the devil."
216
00:04:14,580 --> 00:04:16,210
"The devil knows
217
00:04:14,580 --> 00:04:16,210
where you're hiding."
218
00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:20,020
"If you take enough rides
219
00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:20,020
with the devil, pretty soon,
220
00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:20,020
he's going to drive."
221
00:04:20,090 --> 00:04:21,450
She was really
222
00:04:20,090 --> 00:04:21,450
into the devil.
223
00:04:21,860 --> 00:04:23,490
I have not checked in
224
00:04:21,860 --> 00:04:23,490
with you lately.
225
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,120
I'm randomly
226
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,120
and casually asking.
227
00:04:25,190 --> 00:04:26,660
How are things
228
00:04:25,190 --> 00:04:26,660
going with Mark?
229
00:04:26,730 --> 00:04:28,130
Things are good.
230
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,460
Do you think
231
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,460
he's the one?
232
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:32,130
The one?
233
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:32,130
I don't know. Maybe.
234
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:33,330
Good.
235
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,560
I'm here.
236
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,560
What do I have to do?
237
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:40,770
I have you on
238
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:40,770
phone-answering duty
239
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:40,770
from 4:00 to 6:00 a.m.
240
00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:43,280
That's horrible.
241
00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:43,280
I have to nap up.
242
00:04:43,610 --> 00:04:46,580
If I don't get a solid
243
00:04:43,610 --> 00:04:46,580
five, it kills my
244
00:04:43,610 --> 00:04:46,580
sunny disposition.
245
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:49,210
Got enough leg
246
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:49,210
room back there?
247
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:51,340
Yeah. Yeah, you don't
248
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:51,340
have to sit so far up.
249
00:04:51,420 --> 00:04:55,580
Yeah, I do.
250
00:04:51,420 --> 00:04:55,580
So, Detlef Schrempf.
251
00:04:55,820 --> 00:04:59,060
Three-time NBA All-Star,
252
00:04:55,820 --> 00:04:59,060
two-time Sixth Man Award
253
00:04:55,820 --> 00:04:59,060
winner.
254
00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:01,600
It must have been
255
00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:01,600
pretty cool to be traded
256
00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:01,600
to the Pacers in exchange
257
00:05:01,660 --> 00:05:04,160
for veteran center
258
00:05:01,660 --> 00:05:04,160
Herb Williams.
259
00:05:04,230 --> 00:05:06,260
So, you looked me up
260
00:05:04,230 --> 00:05:06,260
on Wikipedia, huh?
261
00:05:06,330 --> 00:05:08,670
No. Everybody
262
00:05:06,330 --> 00:05:08,670
knows that.
263
00:05:09,770 --> 00:05:11,600
Just like everybody
264
00:05:09,770 --> 00:05:11,600
knows you appeared
265
00:05:11,670 --> 00:05:14,230
in two episodes of
266
00:05:11,670 --> 00:05:14,230
the German soap opera
267
00:05:14,310 --> 00:05:16,340
Gute Zeiten
268
00:05:14,310 --> 00:05:16,340
Schlechte Zeiten.
269
00:05:16,410 --> 00:05:17,780
What, you a big fan
270
00:05:16,410 --> 00:05:17,780
of that show?
271
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:18,840
Huge fan.
272
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:21,050
Huh? Oh, 6'10".
273
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,850
I'm 5'6"
274
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,850
and three quarters.
275
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:27,290
All right, team,
276
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:27,290
you guys psyched?
277
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,550
Just remember,
278
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,550
all you need to do is
279
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:30,020
take down everybody's
280
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:30,020
name and address
281
00:05:30,090 --> 00:05:31,720
and ask them how much
282
00:05:30,090 --> 00:05:31,720
they want to donate.
283
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,260
Hey, do these
284
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,260
phones dial out?
285
00:05:33,330 --> 00:05:34,660
Yes. Why?
286
00:05:34,730 --> 00:05:36,790
No reason.
287
00:05:34,730 --> 00:05:36,790
Leslie, you know what?
288
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,300
My phone has 25 lines.
289
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,300
I think it might
290
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,300
be a switchboard.
291
00:05:39,370 --> 00:05:41,460
Congratulations, then.
292
00:05:39,370 --> 00:05:41,460
You got the most lines.
293
00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:42,700
Figure it out, Jerry.
294
00:05:42,770 --> 00:05:44,000
Come on, Jerry.
295
00:05:44,070 --> 00:05:46,200
Everyone else
296
00:05:44,070 --> 00:05:46,200
has one line.
297
00:05:46,270 --> 00:05:50,510
Oh! So, Leslie, I hear
298
00:05:46,270 --> 00:05:50,510
you're going to be in front
299
00:05:46,270 --> 00:05:50,510
of the camera this year.
300
00:05:50,580 --> 00:05:52,480
Yeah. It's exciting.
301
00:05:50,580 --> 00:05:52,480
Cut the chatter.
302
00:05:52,550 --> 00:05:53,740
Tele-hosting?
303
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:56,680
Not as easy
304
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:56,680
as it looks. Okay?
305
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:56,680
This isn't C-SPAN.
306
00:05:57,050 --> 00:05:59,250
This is Local Access 46.
307
00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,290
Don't blow it.
308
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,590
Good evening and welcome
309
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,590
to the tenth annual
310
00:06:04,660 --> 00:06:07,130
Pawnee Cares
311
00:06:04,660 --> 00:06:07,130
Diabetes Telethon.
312
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,790
I'm Pawnee Today's
313
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,790
Joan Callamezzo.
314
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,730
And I am not a crook.
315
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,290
No, he's not.
316
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:16,660
What time is it?
317
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:16,660
I'm tired already.
318
00:06:16,740 --> 00:06:20,680
It's 8:03.
319
00:06:16,740 --> 00:06:20,680
Your shift doesn't start
320
00:06:16,740 --> 00:06:20,680
for another six hours.
321
00:06:21,940 --> 00:06:24,410
Diabetes. Yuck.
322
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:28,640
Tonight, we're hoping
323
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:28,640
the people of Pawnee
324
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:28,640
dig their big, chubby hands
325
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:31,950
into their plus-size pockets
326
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:31,950
and donate generously.
327
00:06:32,050 --> 00:06:34,350
Weird, wacky stuff.
328
00:06:34,420 --> 00:06:36,050
Stop it.
329
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,790
Coming up,
330
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,790
a very special video
331
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,790
presentation called
332
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,920
Even My Tongue is Fat:
333
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,920
The Story of Pawnee.
334
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:47,490
But right now, to begin with,
335
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:47,490
let's start things off in our
336
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:47,490
telethon with a song.
337
00:06:47,570 --> 00:06:52,410
From Pawnee's most
338
00:06:47,570 --> 00:06:52,410
bookable personality,
339
00:06:47,570 --> 00:06:52,410
Denise Yermley!
340
00:06:56,510 --> 00:06:59,710
Sweet dreams
341
00:06:56,510 --> 00:06:59,710
are made of this
342
00:07:00,150 --> 00:07:03,850
No one cares. Hello, hello.
343
00:07:00,150 --> 00:07:03,850
Here you go. Right up there.
344
00:07:04,050 --> 00:07:06,680
Hello? Hey, there.
345
00:07:04,050 --> 00:07:06,680
Good morning.
346
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,250
Who's next?
347
00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:11,560
I feel great.
348
00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:11,560
Everything is
349
00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:11,560
running smoothly.
350
00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:15,030
Some of them
351
00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:15,030
want to use you
352
00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,990
Clipboard mouth.
353
00:07:19,070 --> 00:07:22,940
There's some secret ingredient
354
00:07:19,070 --> 00:07:22,940
in these NutriYum bars
355
00:07:19,070 --> 00:07:22,940
that makes me feel so good.
356
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,470
Sugar.
357
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,470
It's a block of sugar.
358
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,880
Leslie? Leslie.
359
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:31,940
Tigers.
360
00:07:32,550 --> 00:07:34,640
Hey, you told me to
361
00:07:32,550 --> 00:07:34,640
wake you up at 1:45.
362
00:07:32,550 --> 00:07:34,640
Yep.
363
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,280
It's 1:45 now.
364
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,280
I'm up.
365
00:07:36,350 --> 00:07:38,450
I need to pull it together.
366
00:07:36,350 --> 00:07:38,450
My slot is coming up.
367
00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:40,350
Hey, before you go on,
368
00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:40,350
can I just talk to you
369
00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:40,350
about something?
370
00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,320
Wait a minute. Sorry.
371
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,090
It's Tom. He may have
372
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,090
a Schrempf problem.
373
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:47,220
Okay.
374
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:47,220
You understand that,
375
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:47,220
right?
376
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,130
I do. Take it.
377
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,130
T.B. continued, Ann.
378
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,430
I promise.
379
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,430
We'll talk later.
380
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:51,630
Yes.
381
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:51,630
Okay.
382
00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:53,460
Hey! Hi.
383
00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:53,460
Are you on your way?
384
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:56,630
The Snakehole
385
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:56,630
is booming!
386
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:59,070
People are loving
387
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:59,070
Detlef Schrempf.
388
00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:02,130
I had no idea
389
00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:02,130
professional athletes
390
00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:02,130
were so popular.
391
00:08:02,210 --> 00:08:04,370
That's awesome.
392
00:08:02,210 --> 00:08:04,370
But you promised
393
00:08:02,210 --> 00:08:04,370
to get him here.
394
00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:05,740
Get him here.
395
00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:05,740
Don't worry.
396
00:08:05,810 --> 00:08:07,980
We're leaving soon,
397
00:08:05,810 --> 00:08:07,980
all right? Bye!
398
00:08:08,050 --> 00:08:11,820
Oh, you can't leave. Tommy,
399
00:08:08,050 --> 00:08:11,820
this is the most business
400
00:08:08,050 --> 00:08:11,820
the club's done in months.
401
00:08:11,890 --> 00:08:13,380
But I've got to get
402
00:08:11,890 --> 00:08:13,380
him to the telethon.
403
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,550
He's not going anywhere.
404
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:20,060
Okay.
405
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:20,060
Oh, God. Problem.
406
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,020
Andy, I know I told you
407
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,020
that you were going
408
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:24,120
on at 3:00 a.m.
409
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:24,120
after the Detlef Schrempf
410
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,600
interview
411
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,600
and career retrospective,
412
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,600
but you're going on now.
413
00:08:26,670 --> 00:08:28,070
You're kicking things off.
414
00:08:26,670 --> 00:08:28,070
Whoa!
415
00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:29,500
Sweet. Headlining.
416
00:08:29,570 --> 00:08:32,340
Yeah. At 2:00 a.m.
417
00:08:29,570 --> 00:08:32,340
On Cable Access.
418
00:08:32,410 --> 00:08:34,400
Yeah. Let's go.
419
00:08:38,180 --> 00:08:39,650
So, how are things
420
00:08:38,180 --> 00:08:39,650
going with you two?
421
00:08:39,710 --> 00:08:41,110
They're going really well.
422
00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:44,880
We're going to get married
423
00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:44,880
and I'm pregnant
424
00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:44,880
with his child.
425
00:08:45,390 --> 00:08:46,820
Thank you, Joan.
426
00:08:46,890 --> 00:08:50,720
There are two types
427
00:08:46,890 --> 00:08:50,720
of diabetes, but only
428
00:08:46,890 --> 00:08:50,720
one type of caring.
429
00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:53,420
Type One caring.
430
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:57,400
And tonight, God willing,
431
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:57,400
we will all be
432
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:57,400
stricken with that.
433
00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:58,900
There's a lot of
434
00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:58,900
fun stuff coming up.
435
00:08:58,970 --> 00:09:02,030
Indiana Pacers legend,
436
00:08:58,970 --> 00:09:02,030
Detlef Schrempf,
437
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,270
will be joining us
438
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,270
in the studio later on.
439
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,800
But until then,
440
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,800
I would like to introduce
441
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,670
one of the hottest
442
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,670
bands in Pawnee.
443
00:09:10,010 --> 00:09:12,880
Ladies and gentlemen,
444
00:09:10,010 --> 00:09:12,880
I give you Mouse Rat.
445
00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:17,440
I know that life is crazy
446
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,420
Well, okay. Slight hiccup.
447
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,420
But we're back on track.
448
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,420
See that board?
449
00:09:22,490 --> 00:09:27,050
When my shift is done,
450
00:09:22,490 --> 00:09:27,050
that board is going to
451
00:09:22,490 --> 00:09:27,050
read $20,000.
452
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,560
Pawnee Cares.
453
00:09:31,630 --> 00:09:34,100
Hi. Yes, I'd like to
454
00:09:31,630 --> 00:09:34,100
donate $50, please.
455
00:09:34,170 --> 00:09:35,800
Mmm-hmm. Leslie?
456
00:09:39,670 --> 00:09:45,440
You've got sex hair You got
457
00:09:39,670 --> 00:09:45,440
it from me, girl. Sex hair
458
00:09:45,510 --> 00:09:48,640
God, we're not getting
459
00:09:45,510 --> 00:09:48,640
any donations coming in.
460
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,150
I'm tired of waiting
461
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,150
for people to call us.
462
00:09:50,220 --> 00:09:51,650
Let's call them.
463
00:09:50,220 --> 00:09:51,650
Everybody call somebody.
464
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:52,850
Leslie,
465
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:52,850
it's the middle
466
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:52,850
of the night.
467
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:54,290
Then, good.
468
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:54,290
They'll be home.
469
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:55,620
Donna, someone good?
470
00:09:55,690 --> 00:09:57,450
No, I'm talking to
471
00:09:55,690 --> 00:09:57,450
my brother, George.
472
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,430
You're not supposed
473
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,430
to receive personal
474
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,430
phone calls.
475
00:09:59,490 --> 00:10:02,260
Oh, I called him.
476
00:09:59,490 --> 00:10:02,260
He's in Liberia
477
00:09:59,490 --> 00:10:02,260
visiting my uncle.
478
00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:04,270
He wants to know
479
00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:04,270
what happened on Lost.
480
00:10:04,330 --> 00:10:05,360
Oh, thank God.
481
00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:07,370
Here you go.
482
00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:07,370
Thank you.
483
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,630
I have no idea.
484
00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:10,400
Did you put
485
00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:10,400
cream in this?
486
00:10:10,470 --> 00:10:12,100
Uh, yeah.
487
00:10:10,470 --> 00:10:12,100
Did I screw up?
488
00:10:12,340 --> 00:10:13,360
No, I can drink it.
489
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,140
You sure?
490
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,140
Guys, has anyone
491
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,140
seen Tom?
492
00:10:15,410 --> 00:10:16,940
The ultimate celebrity,
493
00:10:15,410 --> 00:10:16,940
I think,
494
00:10:17,010 --> 00:10:19,740
to hang out with
495
00:10:17,010 --> 00:10:19,740
for a night would be
496
00:10:19,810 --> 00:10:22,410
Criss Angel.
497
00:10:19,810 --> 00:10:22,410
You'd be talking to him,
498
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:23,950
and then, he would
499
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:23,950
just turn into fire.
500
00:10:26,050 --> 00:10:30,490
Brooks Brothers Boys
501
00:10:26,050 --> 00:10:30,490
is like, the cuts are
502
00:10:26,050 --> 00:10:30,490
slimmer and it's cheaper.
503
00:10:30,590 --> 00:10:31,580
Win-win.
504
00:10:31,890 --> 00:10:33,690
Do you ever talk to someone
505
00:10:31,890 --> 00:10:33,690
and you're just like,
506
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:37,760
"Oh. We're going to be
507
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:37,760
best friends"?
508
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:37,760
I'm getting that, right now.
509
00:10:37,830 --> 00:10:40,560
He had two beers.
510
00:10:37,830 --> 00:10:40,560
Light beers.
511
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:43,530
I need you
512
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:43,530
to make that out,
513
00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:46,800
"To Wendy.
514
00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:46,800
Tom is an amazing guy.
515
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,540
"You never should
516
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,540
have left him.
517
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,610
"You made a huge
518
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,610
mistake in your life,
519
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:53,840
"and you're probably
520
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:53,840
going to die alone.
521
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:53,840
Love, Detlef."
522
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,480
Do you know what,
523
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,480
I think we should be
524
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,480
heading to that telethon.
525
00:10:56,550 --> 00:11:00,550
Yes, we will definitely
526
00:10:56,550 --> 00:11:00,550
go to the telethon soon.
527
00:10:56,550 --> 00:11:00,550
After this song!
528
00:11:00,690 --> 00:11:05,060
Hopped up out the bed
529
00:11:00,690 --> 00:11:05,060
Turn my swag on
530
00:11:05,130 --> 00:11:07,560
Took a look in the mirror,
531
00:11:05,130 --> 00:11:07,560
said, "What's up?"
532
00:11:09,430 --> 00:11:14,460
Ron? Ron. Wake up.
533
00:11:09,430 --> 00:11:14,460
Ron, wake up. It's Leslie.
534
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,560
Oh, God! Were you
535
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,560
having a bad dream?
536
00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:21,370
No. I suffer from
537
00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:21,370
a disorder called
538
00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:21,370
sleep fighting.
539
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:22,640
That must be terrible.
540
00:11:22,710 --> 00:11:24,180
Only when I'm losing.
541
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,080
Look,
542
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,080
I'm freaking out, okay?
543
00:11:26,150 --> 00:11:28,950
Tom is not here,
544
00:11:26,150 --> 00:11:28,950
and he's got
545
00:11:26,150 --> 00:11:28,950
Detlef Schrempf.
546
00:11:29,020 --> 00:11:31,040
And I have
547
00:11:29,020 --> 00:11:31,040
three hours to fill.
548
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:32,640
I'm sure you'll
549
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:32,640
figure something out.
550
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,550
Don't go back to sleep.
551
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,550
Okay? I need you to wake up.
552
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,550
Ron? Come on.
553
00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:36,610
Help me.
554
00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:36,610
Attaboy.
555
00:11:38,630 --> 00:11:42,090
I am only here
556
00:11:38,630 --> 00:11:42,090
because I owe Leslie
557
00:11:38,630 --> 00:11:42,090
a thousand favors.
558
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:47,230
I'm not big on charities.
559
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:47,230
Give a man a fish,
560
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:47,230
and you feed him for a day.
561
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:51,370
Don't teach a man to fish,
562
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:51,370
and you feed yourself.
563
00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:54,840
He's a grown man.
564
00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:54,840
Fishing is not that hard.
565
00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:01,150
Okay, that was
566
00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:01,150
the national anthem
567
00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:01,150
of Canada.
568
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:06,150
And now, I'm going
569
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:06,150
to see how long
570
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:06,150
I can hold a D chord.
571
00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:09,490
April, will you call
572
00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:09,490
some of the Rec Center
573
00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:09,490
teachers
574
00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:12,030
and see if they want to
575
00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:12,030
come down and show off
576
00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:12,030
their special skills?
577
00:12:12,090 --> 00:12:13,460
Yes. Nod your head yes.
578
00:12:13,530 --> 00:12:14,830
I can do magic.
579
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:17,960
Egg, my lady?
580
00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:19,630
Jerry,
581
00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:19,630
that's disgusting
582
00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:19,630
and fake!
583
00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:21,970
Oh, my God. It's real.
584
00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:21,970
Go up there and do that.
585
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,100
You broke my egg.
586
00:12:23,170 --> 00:12:24,200
You don't have
587
00:12:23,170 --> 00:12:24,200
a second egg?
588
00:12:24,270 --> 00:12:26,970
No, but I'm a very
589
00:12:24,270 --> 00:12:26,970
good piano player.
590
00:12:24,270 --> 00:12:26,970
I'd be happy to go up there
591
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:28,600
and give it a shot.
592
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:28,600
Why are you
593
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:28,600
wasting my time?
594
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:30,580
This is really serious!
595
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:34,610
You go keep
596
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:34,610
your eye out for Tom.
597
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:34,610
I've got this covered.
598
00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:37,140
When re-caning
599
00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:37,140
an old chair,
600
00:12:37,350 --> 00:12:41,290
one needs to make sure
601
00:12:37,350 --> 00:12:41,290
that one has all the right
602
00:12:37,350 --> 00:12:41,290
elements in place.
603
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,420
Over. Under.
604
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,090
And you guessed it.
605
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,090
Over.
606
00:12:47,530 --> 00:12:49,550
God, he's actually
607
00:12:47,530 --> 00:12:49,550
losing money.
608
00:12:49,630 --> 00:12:53,590
Over. Under. This chair
609
00:12:49,630 --> 00:12:53,590
is almost caning itself.
610
00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:58,870
No. Sir, if you want
611
00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:58,870
to make a donation,
612
00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:58,870
you have to... Yeah.
613
00:12:58,940 --> 00:13:01,310
That sounds really cool.
614
00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:04,470
You sound cool.
615
00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:04,470
You sound really strong.
616
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,610
Hey, why don't you
617
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,610
forget about the donation
618
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:09,580
and just come down here
619
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:09,580
and meet me in person.
620
00:13:09,650 --> 00:13:10,640
What?
621
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:15,560
Oh, my God.
622
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:15,560
You're so funny.
623
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:17,390
You're funny. Bye.
624
00:13:18,490 --> 00:13:20,020
Hey.
625
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:21,590
Funny girl you
626
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:21,590
were talking to?
627
00:13:21,660 --> 00:13:24,000
When it comes to
628
00:13:21,660 --> 00:13:24,000
preparing taxes...
629
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,230
Oh, my God.
630
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,230
This is a disaster.
631
00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:31,070
The only thing that's
632
00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:31,070
taxing is deciding
633
00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:31,070
which software to buy.
634
00:13:31,340 --> 00:13:32,900
I am
635
00:13:31,340 --> 00:13:32,900
completely screwed.
636
00:13:32,970 --> 00:13:36,670
I have no Schrempf,
637
00:13:32,970 --> 00:13:36,670
no backup plan,
638
00:13:32,970 --> 00:13:36,670
no more NutriYum bars.
639
00:13:37,110 --> 00:13:40,550
What do people
640
00:13:37,110 --> 00:13:40,550
want to watch?
641
00:13:37,110 --> 00:13:40,550
Cute animals on a bike?
642
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:43,410
No time to train one.
643
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:43,410
Hot people kissing?
644
00:13:44,150 --> 00:13:46,620
I don't know.
645
00:13:44,150 --> 00:13:46,620
Maybe Mark
646
00:13:44,150 --> 00:13:46,620
and Ann would...
647
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:52,250
Have you ever seen
648
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:52,250
this man sleep?
649
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:52,250
It's like underwater ballet.
650
00:13:52,330 --> 00:13:53,320
I have a great idea.
651
00:13:53,390 --> 00:13:54,380
What's that?
652
00:13:54,460 --> 00:13:57,300
I think you should
653
00:13:54,460 --> 00:13:57,300
propose to Ann tonight.
654
00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:01,770
Today. Whatever it is.
655
00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:01,770
On camera. For diabetes.
656
00:14:02,270 --> 00:14:05,210
Really?
657
00:14:02,270 --> 00:14:05,210
Yes. It would be so cool.
658
00:14:05,870 --> 00:14:09,070
Don't you remember
659
00:14:05,870 --> 00:14:09,070
when Ahmad Rashad
660
00:14:05,870 --> 00:14:09,070
proposed to Mrs. Cosby on TV?
661
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,480
No.
662
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,480
I do.
663
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,010
Most women do.
664
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:13,480
On television, though?
665
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:16,150
Yes, but...
666
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:16,150
Oh, my God!
667
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:18,580
We talked about it
668
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:18,580
being something big.
669
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:18,580
Right.
670
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:21,450
And I don't think we can
671
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:21,450
get a hot air balloon
672
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:21,450
at this time of night.
673
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,510
I have my grandma's ring.
674
00:14:24,660 --> 00:14:26,920
I guess I could
675
00:14:24,660 --> 00:14:26,920
go home and get it.
676
00:14:26,990 --> 00:14:30,260
Is there a story
677
00:14:26,990 --> 00:14:30,260
behind it? Was she on
678
00:14:26,990 --> 00:14:30,260
the Titanic?
679
00:14:30,330 --> 00:14:31,860
Was she on the Titanic?
680
00:14:31,930 --> 00:14:33,830
No. She was
681
00:14:31,930 --> 00:14:33,830
just my grandma.
682
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:38,610
It would make a great story.
683
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:38,610
I trust Leslie. I don't know.
684
00:14:39,810 --> 00:14:41,400
What do you think
685
00:14:39,810 --> 00:14:41,400
I should do?
686
00:14:42,580 --> 00:14:47,710
And that
687
00:14:42,580 --> 00:14:47,710
concludes a quick look
688
00:14:42,580 --> 00:14:47,710
at QuickBooks Pro.
689
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:50,140
Quick Books.
690
00:14:50,220 --> 00:14:54,050
Okay. Thank you so much,
691
00:14:50,220 --> 00:14:54,050
Barney, for that.
692
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,460
Thank you. Go.
693
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:58,760
We'd like to make
694
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:58,760
a quick announcement.
695
00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:02,020
Detlef Schrempf is
696
00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:02,020
temporarily delayed.
697
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:05,900
But coming soon,
698
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:05,900
a really amazing
699
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:05,900
thing is going to happen.
700
00:15:05,970 --> 00:15:09,430
So, get your wallets out
701
00:15:05,970 --> 00:15:09,430
or get your handkerchiefs out.
702
00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:11,970
Or get your tissues out,
703
00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:11,970
if you're like me
704
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,870
and think
705
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,870
handkerchiefs
706
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,870
are gross.
707
00:15:13,940 --> 00:15:17,940
For now, please,
708
00:15:13,940 --> 00:15:17,940
let's take a look at this
709
00:15:13,940 --> 00:15:17,940
moving video entitled,
710
00:15:18,010 --> 00:15:21,920
One Butt, Two Seats:
711
00:15:18,010 --> 00:15:21,920
The Widening of America.
712
00:15:23,450 --> 00:15:26,350
No. Ann. Wait. Ann, Ann!
713
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:28,750
Where are you going?
714
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:28,750
Just stay
715
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:28,750
a little while longer.
716
00:15:28,820 --> 00:15:30,160
Leslie, I'm so beat.
717
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:32,220
I'm so sorry that
718
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:32,220
I've been crazy.
719
00:15:32,290 --> 00:15:33,520
What did you want
720
00:15:32,290 --> 00:15:33,520
to talk to me about?
721
00:15:33,590 --> 00:15:34,760
No worries. It can wait.
722
00:15:34,830 --> 00:15:36,560
No, no. What is it?
723
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:40,160
I think I need to
724
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:40,160
break up with Mark.
725
00:15:43,970 --> 00:15:47,200
I've just been feeling
726
00:15:43,970 --> 00:15:47,200
for a while like
727
00:15:43,970 --> 00:15:47,200
something's missing.
728
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,610
And I kept thinking
729
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,610
about the question
730
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,610
you asked me today,
731
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,710
about whether or not
732
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,710
he's the one. And he's not.
733
00:15:53,780 --> 00:15:57,880
Mark really loves you.
734
00:15:53,780 --> 00:15:57,880
I think he's ready to
735
00:15:53,780 --> 00:15:57,880
take this to the next step.
736
00:15:57,950 --> 00:16:01,350
He doesn't know
737
00:15:57,950 --> 00:16:01,350
what he's ready for.
738
00:15:57,950 --> 00:16:01,350
But I think I do.
739
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:03,950
I guess you're just going
740
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:03,950
to have to marry him
741
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:03,950
and figure it out.
742
00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:05,120
No.
743
00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:05,120
No. No.
744
00:16:05,190 --> 00:16:06,820
Why would you do that?
745
00:16:05,190 --> 00:16:06,820
No, no.
746
00:16:05,190 --> 00:16:06,820
No. No.
747
00:16:06,890 --> 00:16:08,560
Good for you, Ann.
748
00:16:09,730 --> 00:16:13,690
Hey, Mark. It's Leslie.
749
00:16:09,730 --> 00:16:13,690
Change of plans.
750
00:16:09,730 --> 00:16:13,690
Can you call me back?
751
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,530
Tom, get here now.
752
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,530
Call me. Bye.
753
00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:19,340
Hey, Leslie. It's Leslie.
754
00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:19,340
Hang in there.
755
00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:19,340
I love you. Bye.
756
00:16:21,540 --> 00:16:24,540
Please be April. April?
757
00:16:24,610 --> 00:16:25,600
Yeah?
758
00:16:25,910 --> 00:16:29,750
It's Joe from the phone.
759
00:16:25,910 --> 00:16:29,750
I made you laugh.
760
00:16:25,910 --> 00:16:29,750
You said come down.
761
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:32,380
Listen, my van's
762
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:32,380
out back. Let's roll.
763
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:34,550
No. Please leave.
764
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:37,330
Where are you going?
765
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:37,330
Hey. What's up?
766
00:16:37,390 --> 00:16:38,450
Is this guy
767
00:16:37,390 --> 00:16:38,450
bothering you?
768
00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:40,260
No, I'm bothering you.
769
00:16:40,330 --> 00:16:41,490
For bothering her.
770
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,290
Are you her
771
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,290
bodyguard? I mean,
772
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,270
she's an adult.
773
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,270
I think she can decide
774
00:16:45,330 --> 00:16:47,200
on her own what train
775
00:16:45,330 --> 00:16:47,200
she wants to ride.
776
00:16:47,270 --> 00:16:48,930
It's time to go.
777
00:16:47,270 --> 00:16:48,930
Whatever, man.
778
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,490
I work for the
779
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,490
Sewage Department.
780
00:16:50,570 --> 00:16:52,970
I'm up to my waist
781
00:16:50,570 --> 00:16:52,970
in hot snizz.
782
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,270
Take a walk.
783
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,270
Bye-bye.
784
00:16:59,650 --> 00:17:00,770
Okay.
785
00:17:01,750 --> 00:17:05,480
Heads. Oh, boy.
786
00:17:01,750 --> 00:17:05,480
What is going
787
00:17:01,750 --> 00:17:05,480
to happen next?
788
00:17:05,590 --> 00:17:08,020
Okay. My second
789
00:17:05,590 --> 00:17:08,020
favorite episode?
790
00:17:08,090 --> 00:17:09,720
Monica is making dinner,
791
00:17:09,790 --> 00:17:13,280
and Joey is mad
792
00:17:09,790 --> 00:17:13,280
at Chandler because Chandler
793
00:17:09,790 --> 00:17:13,280
made out with his girlfriend.
794
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:16,020
So, Joey says,
795
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:16,020
"Get in the box."
796
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:16,020
I forgot to tell you.
797
00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:20,090
There's a box.
798
00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:20,090
And it's Thanksgiving Day.
799
00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:20,090
So, they get ready to eat.
800
00:17:20,170 --> 00:17:22,260
What is Ross
801
00:17:20,170 --> 00:17:22,260
and Rachel doing?
802
00:17:20,170 --> 00:17:22,260
They're fighting.
803
00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:26,470
So, Ross, Rachel,
804
00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:26,470
Joey, Chandler, Monica,
805
00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:26,470
and Phoebe are all together.
806
00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:28,570
Although, is Phoebe there?
807
00:17:32,410 --> 00:17:33,440
Yes. So...
808
00:17:34,180 --> 00:17:37,210
I will now drink
809
00:17:34,180 --> 00:17:37,210
eight glasses of milk
810
00:17:34,180 --> 00:17:37,210
in three minutes.
811
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:38,980
No. No, you won't.
812
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:38,980
No, you won't.
813
00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:40,040
Because
814
00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:40,040
if you do that,
815
00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:40,040
you will die.
816
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:41,110
Oh!
817
00:17:57,610 --> 00:18:00,400
Okay. All right. Okay.
818
00:17:57,610 --> 00:18:00,400
Enough of that racket.
819
00:18:00,810 --> 00:18:04,640
Well, Pawnee.
820
00:18:00,810 --> 00:18:04,640
It's almost 6:00
821
00:18:00,810 --> 00:18:04,640
in the morning.
822
00:18:04,810 --> 00:18:07,870
And, we need to keep
823
00:18:04,810 --> 00:18:07,870
those donations coming in.
824
00:18:08,450 --> 00:18:11,010
I know we promised
825
00:18:08,450 --> 00:18:11,010
a special event coming up,
826
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,110
and...
827
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,110
Leslie.
828
00:18:12,190 --> 00:18:13,810
No.
829
00:18:12,190 --> 00:18:13,810
Should I come up now?
830
00:18:13,890 --> 00:18:16,080
No. No.
831
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,320
No. What we're going
832
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,320
to do is we're going
833
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,320
to pull our pants down.
834
00:18:18,460 --> 00:18:19,450
That's what
835
00:18:18,460 --> 00:18:19,450
we're going to do.
836
00:18:19,530 --> 00:18:21,660
Everyone's gonna
837
00:18:19,530 --> 00:18:21,660
pull their pants
838
00:18:19,530 --> 00:18:21,660
down for diabetes.
839
00:18:21,730 --> 00:18:22,750
Okay? On one, two...
840
00:18:26,070 --> 00:18:28,230
Got my swag on
841
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:30,900
Took a look in the mirror,
842
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:30,900
said, "What's up?"
843
00:18:30,970 --> 00:18:32,870
Detlef, are you sure
844
00:18:30,970 --> 00:18:32,870
you don't want me to drive?
845
00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:34,100
I'm good to drive.
846
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,610
You want to come up
847
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,610
and play video games?
848
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:39,840
Whoa! Pull over, man.
849
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:39,840
That place has good chicken.
850
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:39,840
I'm hungry.
851
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,610
You just love flashing
852
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,610
your ass, don't you?
853
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:46,050
When it's for
854
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:46,050
a good cause, Joan.
855
00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:47,710
What's up!
856
00:18:47,790 --> 00:18:48,880
Hey, look who's here.
857
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,360
Wake up, Pawnee!
858
00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:51,950
Tommy Timberlake
859
00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:51,950
is in the house!
860
00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:54,120
And you know
861
00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:54,120
who else is with me?
862
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,130
Detlef Schrempf!
863
00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:59,660
Tell them what
864
00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:59,660
they won, son!
865
00:18:59,730 --> 00:19:01,170
All right. Thanks, Tom.
866
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,470
Well, on behalf of
867
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,470
the Detlef Schrempf
868
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,470
Foundation,
869
00:19:03,540 --> 00:19:07,770
I would like to present
870
00:19:03,540 --> 00:19:07,770
this check for $5,000
871
00:19:03,540 --> 00:19:07,770
for diabetes research.
872
00:19:09,140 --> 00:19:11,080
Oh, man! Yeah.
873
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,980
Thank you very much. Wow.
874
00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:15,280
Wow. Big man,
875
00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:15,280
big check.
876
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:19,550
By the way, I'm drunk.
877
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:21,860
And if anybody out there...
878
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:22,950
I don't understand.
879
00:19:23,020 --> 00:19:24,080
What happened?
880
00:19:23,020 --> 00:19:24,080
I'm sorry.
881
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,720
I think I was a little
882
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,720
tired when I told you
883
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,720
that you should do that.
884
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:29,390
I don't think that
885
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:29,390
that's something Ann wants.
886
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:30,830
Not on TV.
887
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:32,730
So, that's why
888
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:32,730
you pulled your
889
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:32,730
pants down.
890
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,100
Yeah.
891
00:19:34,770 --> 00:19:36,530
Wait, what did I do?
892
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:41,240
It's 6:04 a.m.
893
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:41,240
and I'm Perd Hapley of
894
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:41,240
Channel 4 Eyewitness News.
895
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:44,940
And the story of
896
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:44,940
this next dance is that
897
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:44,940
it's called The Worm.
898
00:19:52,290 --> 00:19:53,880
Good morning, Knope.
899
00:19:53,950 --> 00:19:55,050
Morning, Ron.
900
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,020
Everything
901
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,020
running smoothly?
902
00:19:57,090 --> 00:19:58,920
You know, I'm happy
903
00:19:57,090 --> 00:19:58,920
to go back out there,
904
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,760
demonstrate more
905
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,760
of my skills.
906
00:20:00,830 --> 00:20:02,660
How to start a fire
907
00:20:00,830 --> 00:20:02,660
without matches.
908
00:20:02,730 --> 00:20:04,290
How to build
909
00:20:02,730 --> 00:20:04,290
a cribbage board.
910
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:05,700
No, I'm okay. Thanks.
911
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:07,630
Get some sleep.
912
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:09,330
Aye-aye, Captain.
913
00:20:13,470 --> 00:20:16,170
What the
914
00:20:13,470 --> 00:20:16,170
are you doing,
915
00:20:13,470 --> 00:20:16,170
Perd Hapley?
916
00:20:19,650 --> 00:20:20,950
Hey.
917
00:20:19,650 --> 00:20:20,950
Leslie?
918
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:22,910
What are you doing here?
919
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:22,910
Why aren't you sleeping?
920
00:20:22,980 --> 00:20:25,480
I just... I thought maybe
921
00:20:22,980 --> 00:20:25,480
you'd want to talk more
922
00:20:25,550 --> 00:20:27,720
about all the crazy
923
00:20:25,550 --> 00:20:27,720
stuff going on.
924
00:20:27,790 --> 00:20:29,520
I do. I really do.
925
00:20:27,790 --> 00:20:29,520
Thanks.
926
00:20:29,590 --> 00:20:30,960
Yeah.
927
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,050
I've just got to tell you,
928
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,050
I'm a little tired.
929
00:20:32,130 --> 00:20:33,120
Okay.
930
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,990
So, I may have parked
931
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,990
on your front lawn.
932
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:38,960
You did.
933
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:38,960
I did.
934
00:20:39,070 --> 00:20:40,830
Oh!
935
00:20:39,070 --> 00:20:40,830
Yeah.
936
00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:43,870
It's... Just come in
937
00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:43,870
before anybody...
938
00:20:47,210 --> 00:20:48,870
Leslie and I had
939
00:20:47,210 --> 00:20:48,870
an amazing talk.
940
00:20:48,940 --> 00:20:50,740
It was so great of her
941
00:20:48,940 --> 00:20:50,740
to come over here.
942
00:20:50,810 --> 00:20:53,340
Even though
943
00:20:50,810 --> 00:20:53,340
she was exhausted
944
00:20:50,810 --> 00:20:53,340
beyond belief.
945
00:20:53,410 --> 00:20:56,710
Anyway, after we talked,
946
00:20:53,410 --> 00:20:56,710
she fell asleep on my couch.
947
00:20:57,950 --> 00:21:01,250
And she's been
948
00:20:57,950 --> 00:21:01,250
asleep for
949
00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:03,580
twenty-two hours.
950
00:21:04,260 --> 00:21:06,020
It's amazing what
951
00:21:04,260 --> 00:21:06,020
she slept through.
952
00:21:07,330 --> 00:21:08,420
No way.
953
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:09,690
At one point,
954
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:09,690
I thought she was up...
955
00:21:09,830 --> 00:21:11,030
Hold on. Hi.
956
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,020
Hey.
957
00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:14,590
...but then, she went
958
00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:14,590
right back to sleep.
959
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,500
I've been monitoring
960
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,500
her vital signs.
961
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,500
She's totally fine.
962
00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:21,300
I love her so much.
963
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,640
But I think I'm going to draw
964
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,640
a mustache on her face.
51385
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.