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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,230 --> 00:00:03,930 Leslie, can I run something 2 00:00:02,230 --> 00:00:03,930 by you really quick? 3 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:06,200 Sure! I love having 4 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:06,200 things run by me. 5 00:00:06,270 --> 00:00:07,960 I feel like you're 6 00:00:06,270 --> 00:00:07,960 being sarcastic right now. 7 00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:10,030 No, no. I'm not. 8 00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:10,030 I genuinely love it. 9 00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:11,660 Run it by me. 10 00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:11,660 Go ahead! Go, go, go. 11 00:00:11,740 --> 00:00:13,710 Okay, so I've been 12 00:00:11,740 --> 00:00:13,710 a little worried that 13 00:00:11,740 --> 00:00:13,710 Ann maybe thinks 14 00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:16,370 that our relationship 15 00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:16,370 isn't moving forward 16 00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:16,370 fast enough. 17 00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:18,810 And so I'm wondering 18 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:22,110 if maybe I should 19 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:22,110 ask her if she would 20 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:22,110 like to move in with me. 21 00:00:22,620 --> 00:00:24,920 Good idea? Bad idea? 22 00:00:22,620 --> 00:00:24,920 You tell me. 23 00:00:24,990 --> 00:00:27,890 I would say that some women 24 00:00:24,990 --> 00:00:27,890 won't consider moving in 25 00:00:24,990 --> 00:00:27,890 with someone 26 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,390 unless they think 27 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,390 marriage is in the future, 28 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,390 which I know, for you is... 29 00:00:30,460 --> 00:00:32,360 I intend to marry her. 30 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:35,720 For realskies? 31 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:40,600 I'm not really 32 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:40,600 quite sure how I feel. 33 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:40,600 I... It's a little weird. 34 00:00:40,770 --> 00:00:42,670 I mean, I'm happy for them. 35 00:00:40,770 --> 00:00:42,670 They're my friends. 36 00:00:42,740 --> 00:00:43,870 It makes me 37 00:00:42,740 --> 00:00:43,870 a little nauseous. 38 00:00:43,940 --> 00:00:47,340 If I could just sum 39 00:00:43,940 --> 00:00:47,340 it up in one word, 40 00:00:43,940 --> 00:00:47,340 it would be... 41 00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:21,530 Parks and Rec. 42 00:01:23,810 --> 00:01:25,410 Confirming what? 43 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,410 That's not possible. 44 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:33,120 Oh, no! 45 00:01:34,420 --> 00:01:36,190 Hey! Good morning. 46 00:01:36,260 --> 00:01:37,820 Why are there 47 00:01:36,260 --> 00:01:37,820 six people outside 48 00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:39,890 who say they're waiting 49 00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:39,890 to meet with me? 50 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:42,160 So, you know how 51 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:42,160 you love me because 52 00:01:42,230 --> 00:01:43,760 you haven't had 53 00:01:42,230 --> 00:01:43,760 a single meeting 54 00:01:42,230 --> 00:01:43,760 with anyone 55 00:01:43,830 --> 00:01:45,360 since I became 56 00:01:43,830 --> 00:01:45,360 your assistant? 57 00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:46,800 That's because 58 00:01:46,870 --> 00:01:49,740 every time someone calls 59 00:01:46,870 --> 00:01:49,740 and requests 60 00:01:46,870 --> 00:01:49,740 a meeting with you, 61 00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:52,100 I always schedule it 62 00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:52,100 for March 31st. 63 00:01:52,170 --> 00:01:53,200 Why? 64 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,250 Because I didn't think 65 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,250 March 31st existed. 66 00:01:56,310 --> 00:01:59,750 Thirty days has September, 67 00:01:56,310 --> 00:01:59,750 April, March and November... 68 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:04,550 June and November. 69 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:04,550 Today is March 31st. 70 00:02:04,650 --> 00:02:05,710 I know. 71 00:02:05,790 --> 00:02:08,690 So, then, 72 00:02:05,790 --> 00:02:08,690 how many meetings 73 00:02:05,790 --> 00:02:08,690 do I have today? 74 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:10,380 Ninety-three. 75 00:02:10,460 --> 00:02:15,090 Okay. Okay. 76 00:02:10,460 --> 00:02:15,090 Well, you know 77 00:02:10,460 --> 00:02:15,090 what to do. 78 00:02:15,660 --> 00:02:16,760 Right. 79 00:02:16,830 --> 00:02:21,670 To me, this situation 80 00:02:16,830 --> 00:02:21,670 is a blood-soaked, 81 00:02:16,830 --> 00:02:21,670 nightmarish hellscape. 82 00:02:22,470 --> 00:02:23,960 However, to Leslie Knope... 83 00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:26,270 Oh, how fun! 84 00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:26,270 Yay! 85 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,040 Why don't you take 86 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,040 as many as you can, 87 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,040 and I'll cover the rest. 88 00:02:29,110 --> 00:02:30,140 I have a better idea. 89 00:02:30,210 --> 00:02:32,770 Why don't I try to 90 00:02:30,210 --> 00:02:32,770 rustle up seven 91 00:02:30,210 --> 00:02:32,770 more meetings, 92 00:02:32,850 --> 00:02:35,370 'cause I think 93 00:02:32,850 --> 00:02:35,370 it would be cooler 94 00:02:32,850 --> 00:02:35,370 if there were an even 100... 95 00:02:35,450 --> 00:02:38,010 Just... Why don't we 96 00:02:35,450 --> 00:02:38,010 just stick to these 93 97 00:02:35,450 --> 00:02:38,010 and see how it goes? 98 00:02:38,090 --> 00:02:39,110 Yeah, okay. 99 00:02:39,190 --> 00:02:40,590 This is the perfect 100 00:02:39,190 --> 00:02:40,590 distraction for me. 101 00:02:40,820 --> 00:02:44,020 Okay, so I have 102 00:02:40,820 --> 00:02:44,020 everything I need, right? 103 00:02:40,820 --> 00:02:44,020 I have a fresh cup of coffee, 104 00:02:44,090 --> 00:02:45,580 comfy fur-lined boots. 105 00:02:45,660 --> 00:02:47,430 I'm gonna need 106 00:02:45,660 --> 00:02:47,430 those boots back 107 00:02:45,660 --> 00:02:47,430 by the end of the day. 108 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:50,360 Yeah, no problem. 109 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:50,360 They're actually 110 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:50,360 a little narrow for me. 111 00:02:50,430 --> 00:02:51,960 Leslie, here's a guy. 112 00:02:52,030 --> 00:02:53,760 Hi, I'm Leslie Knope, 113 00:02:52,030 --> 00:02:53,760 Deputy Director. 114 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,330 Bill Haggerty, 115 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,330 Pawnee Historical Society. 116 00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,170 I'm supposed to 117 00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,170 be meeting with 118 00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,170 Ron Swanson. 119 00:02:58,240 --> 00:02:59,940 I understand that. 120 00:02:58,240 --> 00:02:59,940 He's tied up right now. 121 00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:02,340 What a shocker. 122 00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:02,340 I've been trying to meet 123 00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:02,340 with him for three months, 124 00:03:02,410 --> 00:03:06,040 and now he's not available. 125 00:03:02,410 --> 00:03:06,040 It's probably 126 00:03:02,410 --> 00:03:06,040 too late now, but, 127 00:03:06,110 --> 00:03:07,610 some rich woman, 128 00:03:06,110 --> 00:03:07,610 Jessica Wicks, 129 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,350 has rented out 130 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,350 Turnbill Mansion 131 00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:12,120 for a party, 132 00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:12,120 and she's making 133 00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:12,120 alterations. 134 00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:13,590 "Alterations"? 135 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:17,180 Turnbill Mansion 136 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:17,180 is one of the most beloved 137 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:17,180 historical sites in Pawnee. 138 00:03:17,260 --> 00:03:20,490 In 1867, the progressive 139 00:03:17,260 --> 00:03:20,490 Reverend Turnbill 140 00:03:21,260 --> 00:03:25,630 officiated a wedding 141 00:03:21,260 --> 00:03:25,630 between a white woman 142 00:03:21,260 --> 00:03:25,630 and a Wamapoke Indian chief. 143 00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:29,960 The secret ceremony 144 00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:29,960 was beautiful 145 00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:29,960 and romantic. 146 00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:34,770 But then word got out, 147 00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:34,770 and the reception 148 00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:34,770 was a bloodbath. 149 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,910 Fortunately, 150 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,910 there were 151 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,910 two survivors. 152 00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:42,380 Unfortunately, 153 00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:42,380 they were both horses. 154 00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,990 Hold up. 155 00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,990 Former beauty queen 156 00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,990 Jessica Wicks? 157 00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:47,810 Yes. 158 00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:47,810 I'm Tom Haverford. 159 00:03:47,890 --> 00:03:49,120 I'm gonna be running 160 00:03:47,890 --> 00:03:49,120 point on this, Bill. 161 00:03:49,190 --> 00:03:50,780 Hey, why didn't 162 00:03:49,190 --> 00:03:50,780 you try to stop her? 163 00:03:50,860 --> 00:03:53,350 Her husband is 164 00:03:50,860 --> 00:03:53,350 Nick Newport Sr. 165 00:03:50,860 --> 00:03:53,350 from Sweetums. 166 00:03:53,430 --> 00:03:55,450 Everyone in 167 00:03:53,430 --> 00:03:55,450 this town is afraid 168 00:03:53,430 --> 00:03:55,450 to say no to him. 169 00:03:55,530 --> 00:03:58,900 Okay, everybody just relax. 170 00:03:55,530 --> 00:03:58,900 What alterations is 171 00:03:55,530 --> 00:03:58,900 she trying to make? 172 00:03:58,970 --> 00:04:03,060 Drilling holes, painting, 173 00:03:58,970 --> 00:04:03,060 removing wainscoting, 174 00:04:03,140 --> 00:04:04,700 she's tearing 175 00:04:03,140 --> 00:04:04,700 down the gazebo... 176 00:04:04,770 --> 00:04:07,300 What? She's what? 177 00:04:04,770 --> 00:04:07,300 No, she's not. 178 00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:08,810 Okay. Tom, 179 00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:08,810 go get the car. 180 00:04:08,980 --> 00:04:10,610 Ow! 181 00:04:08,980 --> 00:04:10,610 Sorry. 182 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:11,870 Don't throw things at me. 183 00:04:11,950 --> 00:04:12,970 God, these are tight! 184 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,080 I'll devise an action plan 185 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,080 to help us coordinate better 186 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,080 among the departments. 187 00:04:17,150 --> 00:04:19,640 Will you? Great. 188 00:04:17,150 --> 00:04:19,640 Thanks for coming in. 189 00:04:17,150 --> 00:04:19,640 Yeah. 190 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:20,710 Who's next? 191 00:04:20,790 --> 00:04:22,090 Tom, 192 00:04:20,790 --> 00:04:22,090 I'll meet you at the car. 193 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,350 Where the hell are you going? 194 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,350 We have 91 more meetings! 195 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,360 I'm sorry, Ron, 196 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,360 as much as 197 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,360 I would like to go 198 00:04:26,430 --> 00:04:28,590 for the "all-time City Hall 199 00:04:26,430 --> 00:04:28,590 single day meetings record," 200 00:04:28,660 --> 00:04:30,330 there is an emergency. 201 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,920 Someone is trying 202 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,920 to alter a gazebo. 203 00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:37,470 Hey. 204 00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:39,030 Oh, hey, Ann. 205 00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:39,030 Sorry I can't hang out. 206 00:04:39,110 --> 00:04:40,100 I kind of have 207 00:04:39,110 --> 00:04:40,100 an emergency. 208 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:42,270 Oh, I'm actually 209 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:42,270 here to see Mark. 210 00:04:42,340 --> 00:04:43,940 Right. Well, thanks 211 00:04:42,340 --> 00:04:43,940 for the coffee. 212 00:04:44,010 --> 00:04:45,810 That's also for Mark. 213 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:46,910 I really need it, though. 214 00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:49,780 But next time 215 00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:49,780 more sugar, okay? 216 00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:49,780 Thanks, bye. 217 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,390 Do you want me to 218 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,390 postpone the rest? 219 00:04:51,450 --> 00:04:53,580 Or I could set myself on fire 220 00:04:51,450 --> 00:04:53,580 and create a diversion? 221 00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:56,060 No. I'm gonna do 222 00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:56,060 all of these today. 223 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:59,750 Round up whoever's free. 224 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:59,750 I'm gonna need 225 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:59,750 more Ron Swansons. 226 00:05:00,930 --> 00:05:02,730 Look at that. 227 00:05:00,930 --> 00:05:02,730 It's gorgeous. 228 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,770 What kind of monster 229 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,770 would wanna change this? 230 00:05:07,170 --> 00:05:10,660 Pre-zit. Do you have 231 00:05:07,170 --> 00:05:10,660 any brown concealer 232 00:05:07,170 --> 00:05:10,660 by any chance? 233 00:05:10,740 --> 00:05:12,400 I need to look 234 00:05:10,740 --> 00:05:12,400 good for Jessica. 235 00:05:12,470 --> 00:05:14,840 You know, they may be rich, 236 00:05:12,470 --> 00:05:14,840 but they can't 237 00:05:12,470 --> 00:05:14,840 just destroy history. 238 00:05:14,910 --> 00:05:16,670 Let's go. 239 00:05:14,910 --> 00:05:16,670 I'm right behind you. 240 00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:19,940 I just need to 241 00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:19,940 spend a minute 242 00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:19,940 in my cologne cloud. 243 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,250 What is that? 244 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:23,720 Attack by Dennis Feinstein. 245 00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:26,020 When you wanna attack 246 00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:26,020 the senses of the lady 247 00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:26,020 you wanna bed. 248 00:05:26,090 --> 00:05:27,450 Oh, my God! 249 00:05:27,790 --> 00:05:30,220 Door! Door! 250 00:05:27,790 --> 00:05:30,220 Door, door! Close it! 251 00:05:31,860 --> 00:05:35,700 So basically, 252 00:05:31,860 --> 00:05:35,700 we're completely swamped. 253 00:05:31,860 --> 00:05:35,700 All hands on deck. 254 00:05:35,830 --> 00:05:37,230 I don't even work 255 00:05:35,830 --> 00:05:37,230 in this building. 256 00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:41,170 Don't care. 257 00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:41,170 I need anyone with a pulse 258 00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:41,170 and a brain to pitch in. 259 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,970 Ron, do you need 260 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,970 help with anything? 261 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:46,600 No, we're good. Thanks. 262 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:46,600 In fact, you can 263 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:46,600 head home early. 264 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,740 Right, now the four of us 265 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,740 are gonna divvy up 266 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,740 all these meetings. 267 00:05:49,810 --> 00:05:52,250 Just make them feel 268 00:05:49,810 --> 00:05:52,250 like they've been heard. 269 00:05:49,810 --> 00:05:52,250 Understood? 270 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:56,050 Yes, sir. Bert Macklin, 271 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:56,050 FBI, on the case. 272 00:05:57,250 --> 00:05:59,240 April, you take 273 00:05:57,250 --> 00:05:59,240 Leslie's office. 274 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:00,720 Andy, you're in 275 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:00,720 the conference room. 276 00:06:00,790 --> 00:06:02,720 Ann, take your meetings 277 00:06:00,790 --> 00:06:02,720 in the courtyard. 278 00:06:02,790 --> 00:06:06,160 Just sit there and 279 00:06:02,790 --> 00:06:06,160 don't ruin the city. 280 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,290 Dismissed. 281 00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:11,690 What are you doing? 282 00:06:11,770 --> 00:06:13,060 Can I get a badge? 283 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:17,430 Hey, I brought you a coffee, 284 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:17,430 help you get through the day. 285 00:06:17,670 --> 00:06:19,140 Thanks, dude! 286 00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:21,870 No problem, lady! 287 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:28,570 I'm gonna go. 288 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:28,570 Okay. 289 00:06:28,650 --> 00:06:31,710 April is the best 290 00:06:28,650 --> 00:06:31,710 but she's 20. 291 00:06:32,420 --> 00:06:34,320 When April was born, 292 00:06:32,420 --> 00:06:34,320 I was already in third grade, 293 00:06:34,390 --> 00:06:36,020 which means if we 294 00:06:34,390 --> 00:06:36,020 were friends back then, 295 00:06:36,090 --> 00:06:38,960 I'd have been 296 00:06:36,090 --> 00:06:38,960 hanging out with a baby. 297 00:06:39,030 --> 00:06:41,760 I don't know anything 298 00:06:39,030 --> 00:06:41,760 about infant care. 299 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,090 My God, 300 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,090 I could have killed her! 301 00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,630 Ah, Mr. Newport Sr. 302 00:06:48,740 --> 00:06:51,370 I've just been informed 303 00:06:48,740 --> 00:06:51,370 that you plan on 304 00:06:48,740 --> 00:06:51,370 altering this mansion. 305 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,470 And as a member of 306 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,470 the Parks Department, 307 00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:55,600 as a Pawneean 308 00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:55,600 and an American, 309 00:06:55,780 --> 00:06:59,480 I ask you to 310 00:06:55,780 --> 00:06:59,480 refrain from harming 311 00:06:55,780 --> 00:06:59,480 this historic structure. 312 00:07:00,850 --> 00:07:01,840 What? 313 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,510 I'll take care 314 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,510 of this, love nut. 315 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,110 Biscuit. 316 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,110 Yeah. 317 00:07:05,350 --> 00:07:09,020 Hi, I'm Jessica Wicks, 318 00:07:05,350 --> 00:07:09,020 Miss Pawnee 1994. 319 00:07:09,090 --> 00:07:10,290 Hello, yes. 320 00:07:09,090 --> 00:07:10,290 We've met before. 321 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,380 We were both judges 322 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,380 at the pageant last year. 323 00:07:12,460 --> 00:07:15,230 Leslie Knorp. 324 00:07:12,460 --> 00:07:15,230 Of course! 325 00:07:12,460 --> 00:07:15,230 How are you? 326 00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:19,030 Jessica Wicks. Hey, boo! 327 00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:19,030 Are you aging in reverse? 328 00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:20,970 'Cause you look 329 00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:20,970 barely legal. 330 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,630 Tom Haverford. 331 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,630 If you're not the most 332 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,630 charming man in Indiana. 333 00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:26,500 And this must be 334 00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:26,500 the luckiest man 335 00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:26,500 in Indiana. 336 00:07:26,570 --> 00:07:28,910 Sir, it is an honor 337 00:07:26,570 --> 00:07:28,910 to meet you. 338 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,370 Come here, you! 339 00:07:33,450 --> 00:07:36,580 Tell me straight, 340 00:07:33,450 --> 00:07:36,580 are you a Chinese? 341 00:07:36,650 --> 00:07:39,750 No! I'm one of 342 00:07:36,650 --> 00:07:39,750 the Indian people. 343 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:43,820 That floppy old bag 344 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:43,820 of money is gonna be 345 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:43,820 dead in like a month. 346 00:07:43,890 --> 00:07:47,800 And who's going to 347 00:07:43,890 --> 00:07:47,800 comfort Jessica and 348 00:07:43,890 --> 00:07:47,800 her millions of dollars? 349 00:07:48,230 --> 00:07:52,030 Yeah, Jessica is 350 00:07:48,230 --> 00:07:52,030 a gold-digger. 351 00:07:48,230 --> 00:07:52,030 But I'm a gold-digger-digger. 352 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,730 So, how did you 353 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,730 and Mr. Newport meet? 354 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,300 I was doing 355 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,300 a ribbon-cutting 356 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,300 at the hospital, 357 00:07:58,370 --> 00:08:01,240 and he was there because 358 00:07:58,370 --> 00:08:01,240 his blood doesn't work. 359 00:08:01,310 --> 00:08:05,080 And we started talking, 360 00:08:01,310 --> 00:08:05,080 and then I realized 361 00:08:01,310 --> 00:08:05,080 who he was. 362 00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:08,270 Oh, my gosh! 363 00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:08,270 It was love 364 00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:08,270 at first sight! 365 00:08:08,420 --> 00:08:10,480 Oh, that sounds 366 00:08:08,420 --> 00:08:10,480 so romantic. 367 00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:14,140 Um, Jessica, I know 368 00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:14,140 you've rented out 369 00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:14,140 this house for a party. 370 00:08:14,220 --> 00:08:15,750 But it's on the 371 00:08:14,220 --> 00:08:15,750 historical register, 372 00:08:15,820 --> 00:08:19,160 so we can't 373 00:08:15,820 --> 00:08:19,160 allow any changes. 374 00:08:15,820 --> 00:08:19,160 I'm so sorry. 375 00:08:19,230 --> 00:08:21,220 It's a little late 376 00:08:19,230 --> 00:08:21,220 for that, sweetheart. 377 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:23,600 I told them 378 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:23,600 what I was doing 379 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:23,600 months ago. 380 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:27,100 Where I come from, 381 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:27,100 there's a saying, 382 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:27,100 "What's done is done." 383 00:08:27,170 --> 00:08:28,260 That's a saying everywhere. 384 00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:29,360 I've never 385 00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:29,360 heard it before 386 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:30,630 and I think it's 387 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:30,630 a great saying. 388 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:33,070 Well, maybe we can 389 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:33,070 just limit the damage. 390 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:33,070 How much have you done? 391 00:08:33,810 --> 00:08:35,610 You painted this? 392 00:08:35,940 --> 00:08:38,910 Uh-huh. Miami Teal is 393 00:08:35,940 --> 00:08:38,910 Nicky's favorite color. 394 00:08:38,980 --> 00:08:41,040 We also replaced 395 00:08:38,980 --> 00:08:41,040 some of the sconces, 396 00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:44,120 got rid of the furniture, 397 00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:44,120 painted these floors black... 398 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,120 Oh, no. 399 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,120 These were the original 400 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,120 hardwood floors. 401 00:08:46,220 --> 00:08:49,490 Yeah. 402 00:08:46,220 --> 00:08:49,490 They were all scratched up. 403 00:08:46,220 --> 00:08:49,490 I did you a favor. 404 00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:51,820 Come on in here. 405 00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:51,820 I'll show you guys what 406 00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:51,820 we did in the sitting room. 407 00:08:51,890 --> 00:08:54,420 I can't... 408 00:08:51,890 --> 00:08:54,420 After you. I'd hate to 409 00:08:51,890 --> 00:08:54,420 miss the view. 410 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:57,960 You little devil. 411 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:57,960 I should just pay you 412 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:57,960 to follow me around. 413 00:08:58,030 --> 00:08:59,520 If that's a job offer, 414 00:08:58,030 --> 00:08:59,520 I accept. 415 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,040 Oh, my God! 416 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,640 Why did you have to 417 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,640 drill holes in the wall? 418 00:09:03,770 --> 00:09:06,240 To hang my 419 00:09:03,770 --> 00:09:06,240 birthday present 420 00:09:03,770 --> 00:09:06,240 to Nicky. 421 00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,470 My heavens! 422 00:09:08,540 --> 00:09:09,770 Isn't there a way 423 00:09:08,540 --> 00:09:09,770 that you could've... 424 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,470 Oh, my! 425 00:09:12,650 --> 00:09:15,080 History is important. 426 00:09:12,650 --> 00:09:15,080 You just can't go around 427 00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:16,910 changing everything 428 00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:16,910 all of the time. 429 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:20,580 Or else next thing you know, 430 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:20,580 they'll be painting 431 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:20,580 the White House 432 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:21,990 not white. 433 00:09:23,290 --> 00:09:26,230 I'm so angry, 434 00:09:23,290 --> 00:09:26,230 I can't think of 435 00:09:23,290 --> 00:09:26,230 another color. 436 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:27,820 Green. 437 00:09:30,030 --> 00:09:32,630 So, your department 438 00:09:30,030 --> 00:09:32,630 banned me from 439 00:09:30,030 --> 00:09:32,630 attending games 440 00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:35,570 just because I yell 441 00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:35,570 "you suck" at the players! 442 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:39,600 According to the complaint, 443 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:39,600 you yelled it at 444 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:39,600 five-year-old girls. 445 00:09:39,670 --> 00:09:43,200 Who suck! 446 00:09:39,670 --> 00:09:43,200 Why is that so 447 00:09:39,670 --> 00:09:43,200 hard to understand? 448 00:09:43,910 --> 00:09:46,470 I thought I was 449 00:09:43,910 --> 00:09:46,470 having this meeting 450 00:09:43,910 --> 00:09:46,470 with Ron Swanson. 451 00:09:46,550 --> 00:09:49,580 I'm afraid that 452 00:09:46,550 --> 00:09:49,580 Ron Swanson's 453 00:09:46,550 --> 00:09:49,580 currently dead. 454 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,620 Oh. 455 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,620 I'm his daughter, 456 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,620 April Swanson. 457 00:09:53,150 --> 00:09:57,460 And it's his last wish 458 00:09:53,150 --> 00:09:57,460 that I have this 459 00:09:53,150 --> 00:09:57,460 meeting with you. 460 00:09:57,690 --> 00:10:00,030 I represent the 461 00:09:57,690 --> 00:10:00,030 Ultimate Frisbee league. 462 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,650 And... 463 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,650 Pawnee has 464 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,650 an Ultimate league? 465 00:10:01,730 --> 00:10:03,820 Yes, and we keep running 466 00:10:01,730 --> 00:10:03,820 into conflicts with... 467 00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:06,890 You won me over. 468 00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:06,890 I will join your team. 469 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,830 I'm sorry, what we need... 470 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:09,930 When does practice start? 471 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,270 And do you provide 472 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,270 the jerseys? 473 00:10:11,340 --> 00:10:12,860 What color 474 00:10:11,340 --> 00:10:12,860 are the jerseys, 475 00:10:11,340 --> 00:10:12,860 by the way? 476 00:10:12,940 --> 00:10:15,780 What's our team name? 477 00:10:12,940 --> 00:10:15,780 Are we the Lightning? 478 00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:18,700 Now, I have to tell you, 479 00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:18,700 I don't actually work 480 00:10:18,780 --> 00:10:21,010 in the Parks Department. 481 00:10:18,780 --> 00:10:21,010 I'm a nurse. 482 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,640 Seriously? 483 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,640 That's great news. 484 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,520 I have the weirdest thing 485 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,520 on my arm. 486 00:10:27,290 --> 00:10:28,950 Can you see this? 487 00:10:29,660 --> 00:10:30,890 Every time. 488 00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:34,690 Oh, thank God you haven't 489 00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:34,690 torn down the gazebo yet. 490 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:35,790 Don't remind me. 491 00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:38,360 The demolition people 492 00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:38,360 couldn't get here 493 00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:38,360 until this afternoon. 494 00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:41,230 I've had to look 495 00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:41,230 at that ugly thing 496 00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:41,230 all day long. 497 00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:42,670 Ugly thing? 498 00:10:43,340 --> 00:10:46,000 Let me tell you 499 00:10:43,340 --> 00:10:46,000 a little something about 500 00:10:43,340 --> 00:10:46,000 this "ugly thing," ma'am. 501 00:10:46,070 --> 00:10:47,410 A hundred and 502 00:10:46,070 --> 00:10:47,410 fifty years ago, 503 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,340 an interracial couple 504 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,340 was married here, 505 00:10:49,410 --> 00:10:51,540 and then slaughtered 506 00:10:49,410 --> 00:10:51,540 by their own families. 507 00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:54,050 It's one of the most 508 00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:54,050 beautiful stories 509 00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:54,050 in Pawnee's history. 510 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:55,520 Why are you 511 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:55,520 trying to destroy it? 512 00:10:55,580 --> 00:10:57,610 Don't tell me 513 00:10:55,580 --> 00:10:57,610 about Pawnee history. 514 00:10:57,690 --> 00:10:59,680 The Newports made this town. 515 00:10:59,750 --> 00:11:03,560 And tonight, 516 00:10:59,750 --> 00:11:03,560 we're gonna celebrate 517 00:10:59,750 --> 00:11:03,560 my husband's 85th birthday, 518 00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:06,290 without this 519 00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:06,290 mushy old pile of rot. 520 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,330 Your husband's 521 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,330 a mushy old pile of rot. 522 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,390 You were a stick-in-the-mud 523 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,390 when we judged 524 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,390 that beauty pageant, 525 00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:13,490 and you're being 526 00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:13,490 a stick-in-the-mud now. 527 00:11:13,570 --> 00:11:15,660 I am not a 528 00:11:13,570 --> 00:11:15,660 stick-in-the-mud! 529 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,570 I just want to stop 530 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,570 a party from happening. 531 00:11:20,310 --> 00:11:21,970 Ron? I have 532 00:11:20,310 --> 00:11:21,970 a gazebo update, 533 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,410 so ignore all my previous 534 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,410 voicemails and e-mails. 535 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,950 Leslie, I haven't 536 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,950 relieved myself 537 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,950 in five hours, 538 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,040 so, if you'll 539 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,040 excuse me. 540 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,750 Ron, I'm sorry, 541 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,750 but this can't wait. 542 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,750 Jessica Wicks refuses to... 543 00:11:31,820 --> 00:11:33,380 Leslie, what the 544 00:11:33,450 --> 00:11:34,720 Hey! Miss Knope? 545 00:11:34,790 --> 00:11:35,850 Councilman Howser! 546 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,760 Nice to see you again. 547 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,760 Not that I saw anything, 548 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,760 other than your face, 549 00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:41,320 and I would like to 550 00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:41,320 talk to you a little bit 551 00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:41,320 about this gazebo thing. 552 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,660 You know, the problem... 553 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,660 Okay, okay. 554 00:11:42,730 --> 00:11:44,700 Enough of this. 555 00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:48,070 Do whatever you want. 556 00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:48,070 Alert the media. 557 00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:48,070 Call FEMA, I don't care. 558 00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:50,540 Do not bother me 559 00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:50,540 with this again. 560 00:11:54,910 --> 00:11:58,110 Miss Knope. 561 00:11:54,910 --> 00:11:58,110 Councilman Howser. 562 00:11:54,910 --> 00:11:58,110 I saw your penis. 563 00:11:58,850 --> 00:12:01,080 There are eight swings 564 00:11:58,850 --> 00:12:01,080 at Ramsett Park 565 00:12:01,150 --> 00:12:03,410 and every single 566 00:12:01,150 --> 00:12:03,410 one of them is broken. 567 00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:06,150 Can you please 568 00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:06,150 just fix one of them? 569 00:12:06,220 --> 00:12:08,590 Ron told me I can't 570 00:12:06,220 --> 00:12:08,590 say yes to anything. 571 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:11,090 But it's such 572 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:11,090 a reasonable request. 573 00:12:12,490 --> 00:12:13,720 I can't just say no. 574 00:12:15,530 --> 00:12:17,160 So, that's a yes? 575 00:12:19,670 --> 00:12:22,870 Are you saying yes? 576 00:12:19,670 --> 00:12:22,870 Just say out loud, 577 00:12:19,670 --> 00:12:22,870 yes or no. 578 00:12:25,310 --> 00:12:26,430 Boop! 579 00:12:28,410 --> 00:12:33,110 Yeah, they do look 580 00:12:28,410 --> 00:12:33,110 a little bit swollen. 581 00:12:28,410 --> 00:12:33,110 Just follow the pen. 582 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,650 Follow the pen to... 583 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,410 Does that hurt? 584 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,520 There's no way this 585 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,520 ordinance goes through. 586 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,520 There's too much red tape. 587 00:12:43,590 --> 00:12:44,580 Mmm. This gridlock 588 00:12:43,590 --> 00:12:44,580 drives me nuts. 589 00:12:44,660 --> 00:12:45,650 Tell me about it. 590 00:12:45,730 --> 00:12:48,090 Yeah. I think you're 591 00:12:45,730 --> 00:12:48,090 gonna have to make 592 00:12:45,730 --> 00:12:48,090 an end run. You know? 593 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,490 Go right to 594 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,490 the Commissioner on this one. 595 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,000 You know what, 596 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,000 I hadn't thought of that. 597 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,000 That is a really great idea. 598 00:12:52,070 --> 00:12:53,300 Yeah? 599 00:12:52,070 --> 00:12:53,300 I'm gonna do that. 600 00:12:53,370 --> 00:12:56,930 Okay. 601 00:12:53,370 --> 00:12:56,930 Your last resort is probably 602 00:12:53,370 --> 00:12:56,930 gonna be City Council. 603 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:58,400 Good luck there! 604 00:12:58,470 --> 00:12:59,960 Yeah! My thoughts exactly. 605 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,140 I have no idea 606 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,140 what I was saying. 607 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:05,940 I ask you. 608 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:05,940 Is this too revealing 609 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:05,940 for a public pool? 610 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,640 Kindly get your 611 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,640 groin off my desk. 612 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:11,450 So my body makes you 613 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:11,450 uncomfortable, too? 614 00:13:13,290 --> 00:13:14,980 Hey, Mark. 615 00:13:13,290 --> 00:13:14,980 I'm kind of freaking out 616 00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:16,680 about this historical 617 00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:16,680 mansion thing. 618 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:17,850 Can I talk to 619 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:17,850 you for a second? 620 00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:20,050 I'm actually headed 621 00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:20,050 right out the door. 622 00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:21,690 You're going on 623 00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:21,690 a date with Ann. 624 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,060 Yeah. I was gonna 625 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,060 surprise her, 626 00:13:23,130 --> 00:13:24,760 take her to 627 00:13:23,130 --> 00:13:24,760 a nice restaurant. 628 00:13:23,130 --> 00:13:24,760 Don't worry about it. 629 00:13:24,830 --> 00:13:27,170 Are you sure now? 630 00:13:24,830 --> 00:13:27,170 Yeah, have a good time. 631 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,700 How we doing? 632 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,700 Pretty good. 633 00:13:29,770 --> 00:13:33,770 I may have promised 634 00:13:29,770 --> 00:13:33,770 a new aquatic center 635 00:13:29,770 --> 00:13:33,770 to somebody. 636 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,140 Is that a problem? 637 00:13:35,210 --> 00:13:38,200 I diagnosed two melanomas. 638 00:13:35,210 --> 00:13:38,200 They're both benign. 639 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:39,470 How many more meetings? 640 00:13:39,550 --> 00:13:40,540 Twenty. 641 00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:43,540 April was supposed 642 00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:43,540 to be the moat 643 00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:47,280 that kept 644 00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:47,280 the citizen barbarians 645 00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:47,280 away from Swanson Castle. 646 00:13:47,790 --> 00:13:51,420 Instead she 647 00:13:47,790 --> 00:13:51,420 blew up the castle 648 00:13:47,790 --> 00:13:51,420 and stabbed me in the face. 649 00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:54,490 I hired you 650 00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:54,490 to do one thing. 651 00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:56,830 Just one. 652 00:13:57,100 --> 00:14:00,090 I don't care that 653 00:13:57,100 --> 00:14:00,090 you text all day 654 00:13:57,100 --> 00:14:00,090 and sleep at your desk. 655 00:14:00,170 --> 00:14:01,660 In fact, I encourage it. 656 00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:04,830 But only because 657 00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:04,830 you were doing 658 00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:04,830 that one thing. 659 00:14:05,270 --> 00:14:07,800 Keeping this 660 00:14:05,270 --> 00:14:07,800 crap off my desk. 661 00:14:09,210 --> 00:14:11,510 Give me five minutes 662 00:14:09,210 --> 00:14:11,510 before the next one. 663 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,320 That guy is scary 664 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,320 when he's angry. 665 00:14:19,390 --> 00:14:21,080 Yeah! God, I know. 666 00:14:21,420 --> 00:14:23,220 Hey. Sorry, dude. 667 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,850 I don't need your sympathy. 668 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,850 Or yours. 669 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,630 I wasn't offering 670 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,630 my sympathy. 671 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,030 Thank you for 672 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,030 meeting me here. 673 00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:33,360 Sure. 674 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,660 What's up? 675 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,660 Okay. I need you to 676 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,660 get this word for word. 677 00:14:35,740 --> 00:14:38,170 It's a tape recorder. 678 00:14:35,740 --> 00:14:38,170 So it will. 679 00:14:38,970 --> 00:14:41,140 "Gazebo?" 680 00:14:38,970 --> 00:14:41,140 More like "Ga-zoinks-bo." 681 00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:42,680 She may be a 682 00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:42,680 former beauty queen, 683 00:14:42,740 --> 00:14:45,210 but today 684 00:14:42,740 --> 00:14:45,210 she's the king of 685 00:14:42,740 --> 00:14:45,210 destroying history! 686 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,150 Okay, could you just 687 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,150 maybe talk normally? 688 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,120 Okay, fine. 689 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,120 "Ga-zoinks-bo." 690 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:50,880 Jessica Wicks is 691 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:50,880 throwing a birthday party 692 00:14:50,950 --> 00:14:52,720 for her husband 693 00:14:50,950 --> 00:14:52,720 Nick Newport Sr. 694 00:14:52,790 --> 00:14:54,350 at the Turnbill 695 00:14:52,790 --> 00:14:54,350 Mansion tonight... 696 00:14:54,420 --> 00:14:56,320 Okay. I'm gonna 697 00:14:54,420 --> 00:14:56,320 stop you right there. 698 00:14:56,390 --> 00:14:59,290 Nick Newport Sr. 699 00:14:56,390 --> 00:14:59,290 is the former 700 00:14:56,390 --> 00:14:59,290 CEO of Sweetums. 701 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:00,350 So? 702 00:15:00,430 --> 00:15:01,990 Sweetums owns 703 00:15:00,430 --> 00:15:01,990 The Pawnee Journal. 704 00:15:02,060 --> 00:15:04,030 Crap on the cob! 705 00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:06,770 I will take it 706 00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:06,770 into consideration. 707 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:10,630 Thank God! 708 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:10,630 That was it, right? 709 00:15:10,870 --> 00:15:11,930 No. There's one more. 710 00:15:12,010 --> 00:15:13,000 Damn it to hell! 711 00:15:13,070 --> 00:15:16,770 It's with me 712 00:15:13,070 --> 00:15:16,770 and it's right now 713 00:15:13,070 --> 00:15:16,770 and it's about me quitting. 714 00:15:17,110 --> 00:15:18,340 I quit. 715 00:15:21,150 --> 00:15:22,480 I have no other 716 00:15:21,150 --> 00:15:22,480 choice, okay? 717 00:15:22,550 --> 00:15:25,780 This is the only 718 00:15:22,550 --> 00:15:25,780 rational way I know 719 00:15:22,550 --> 00:15:25,780 to prevent this tragedy. 720 00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:29,290 Oh, my God! Here they come. 721 00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:29,290 Tom, throw away the key! 722 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,420 Seriously? 723 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,420 Yes! Throw it! 724 00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:33,690 Out of the way! 725 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,700 Sir, I'm sorry, 726 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,700 but you're a little late. 727 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,390 So, you're gonna have to 728 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,390 turn this thing around, 729 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,370 'cause you're not 730 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,370 getting in here. 731 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,900 Oh, God! Tom! Stop him! 732 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,900 Jump in front of it! 733 00:15:43,970 --> 00:15:46,000 Sacrifice your tiny body! 734 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,210 I really thought that gate 735 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,210 would open in the middle. 736 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:00,680 Well, the gazebo 737 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:00,680 has been destroyed. 738 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,730 And the thing that 739 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,730 bothers me the most... 740 00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:05,420 Cut it out, Tom. 741 00:16:05,490 --> 00:16:06,550 It never gets old. 742 00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:11,920 Hey, Ann and Mark are coming. 743 00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:11,920 Guys, not so close. 744 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,530 You're gonna... 745 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,530 Don't go past the sensor. 746 00:16:16,740 --> 00:16:18,140 Sensor? 747 00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:19,610 Sorry if I ruined 748 00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:19,610 your evening. 749 00:16:19,670 --> 00:16:20,900 Leslie, it's totally fine. 750 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,170 I chained myself 751 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,170 to a gate. 752 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:23,840 I can see that. 753 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:23,840 Are you okay? 754 00:16:23,910 --> 00:16:26,180 Nothing's bruised 755 00:16:23,910 --> 00:16:26,180 but my ego. 756 00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:28,610 And my arm, a little, 757 00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:28,610 from the mechanized gate. 758 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,120 Thanks again 759 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,120 for letting me take 760 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,120 those meetings today. 761 00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:34,950 I've never really 762 00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:34,950 had a meeting before. 763 00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:34,950 They're awesome. 764 00:16:35,020 --> 00:16:36,010 You're welcome. 765 00:16:36,090 --> 00:16:37,110 Hey, have you 766 00:16:36,090 --> 00:16:37,110 seen April around? 767 00:16:37,190 --> 00:16:38,680 She usually comes by 768 00:16:37,190 --> 00:16:38,680 at the end of the day. 769 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,960 You might want to 770 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,960 check her house. 771 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,960 She quit on me. 772 00:16:42,230 --> 00:16:43,460 What? Why? 773 00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:45,930 She screwed up 774 00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:45,930 my entire life today. 775 00:16:46,230 --> 00:16:49,170 That was one mistake. 776 00:16:46,230 --> 00:16:49,170 She's perfect for you. 777 00:16:49,700 --> 00:16:50,760 Come on, there's no 778 00:16:49,700 --> 00:16:50,760 one in the world 779 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,970 who's gonna do a better 780 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,970 job for you than April. 781 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,200 Either you hire 782 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,200 her back or I quit. 783 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:57,710 You don't work for me. 784 00:16:57,780 --> 00:17:00,540 And I never will, sir. 785 00:16:57,780 --> 00:17:00,540 Good day. 786 00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:08,990 So what'd you guys 787 00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:08,990 talk about at dinner? 788 00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:08,990 Huh? Was it fun? 789 00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:11,220 Any big decisions 790 00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:11,220 arrived at? 791 00:17:11,290 --> 00:17:12,560 It was fine. 792 00:17:12,630 --> 00:17:13,820 Do you need a ride home? 793 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,390 No, Tom's gonna take me. 794 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,390 You guys go on ahead. 795 00:17:16,460 --> 00:17:18,160 I'm glad you're okay. 796 00:17:16,460 --> 00:17:18,160 Call me tomorrow? 797 00:17:18,230 --> 00:17:19,890 Bye, Leslie. 798 00:17:24,370 --> 00:17:27,600 Well, hello there. 799 00:17:24,370 --> 00:17:27,600 You must be Ron Swanson. 800 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,370 Well, welcome to 801 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,370 Casa Ludgate! 802 00:17:29,510 --> 00:17:31,210 Hello, Mr. Ludgate. 803 00:17:31,510 --> 00:17:33,540 Call me Larry. 804 00:17:31,510 --> 00:17:33,540 Larry, who is it? 805 00:17:33,610 --> 00:17:35,140 It's Zuzu's boss. 806 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,520 Oh, Ron. Rita Ludgate. 807 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,820 Oh, you have no idea how 808 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,820 nice it is to meet you. 809 00:17:41,890 --> 00:17:43,790 Come in, for gosh sake. 810 00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,860 What can I get 811 00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,860 you to drink? Ooh. 812 00:17:45,930 --> 00:17:49,490 Could you take your 813 00:17:45,930 --> 00:17:49,490 shoes off, please? 814 00:17:45,930 --> 00:17:49,490 Thank you so much. 815 00:17:50,730 --> 00:17:52,030 Nothing to drink, thanks. 816 00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:53,190 Oh, okay. 817 00:17:53,270 --> 00:17:54,530 Is April around? 818 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,540 Zuzu, you have a guest. 819 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,610 I'll fetch her. 820 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,610 She's probably on 821 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,610 the Internet again! 822 00:18:01,410 --> 00:18:03,340 I'll come with you. 823 00:18:01,410 --> 00:18:03,340 Okay. Okay. 824 00:18:03,410 --> 00:18:05,180 You make yourself 825 00:18:03,410 --> 00:18:05,180 at home, Mr. Swanson. 826 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,840 Thank you. 827 00:18:10,550 --> 00:18:12,650 You must be April's sister. 828 00:18:13,350 --> 00:18:14,620 I'm Ron. 829 00:18:19,690 --> 00:18:21,320 Nice to meet you. 830 00:18:22,030 --> 00:18:24,590 No offense, but I think 831 00:18:22,030 --> 00:18:24,590 the normal grieving time 832 00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:27,100 for gazebo destruction 833 00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:27,100 has passed. 834 00:18:27,970 --> 00:18:31,600 Yeah, well, 835 00:18:27,970 --> 00:18:31,600 maybe that's not entirely 836 00:18:27,970 --> 00:18:31,600 what I'm upset about. 837 00:18:33,610 --> 00:18:35,130 Mark and Ann are 838 00:18:33,610 --> 00:18:35,130 gonna get married. 839 00:18:35,610 --> 00:18:37,010 Really? 840 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:40,710 Why does that bother you? 841 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:40,710 I should be 842 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:40,710 the one that's upset. 843 00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:42,510 It was supposed 844 00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:42,510 to be me and Ann. 845 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:43,980 Or me and Jessica. 846 00:18:44,050 --> 00:18:46,610 Or Ann and Jessica 847 00:18:44,050 --> 00:18:46,610 with me watching. 848 00:18:47,890 --> 00:18:51,420 Every time 849 00:18:47,890 --> 00:18:51,420 a couple gets married, 850 00:18:47,890 --> 00:18:51,420 two single people die. 851 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:54,260 I'm about to lose 852 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:54,260 two good friends. 853 00:18:54,330 --> 00:18:55,760 Come on. 854 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:59,160 They drove over here 855 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:59,160 and cut you down from a gate. 856 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,390 I really don't think 857 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,390 you have to worry about them 858 00:19:01,470 --> 00:19:03,100 abandoning you 859 00:19:01,470 --> 00:19:03,100 once they get married. 860 00:19:03,170 --> 00:19:04,470 Yeah, yeah, 861 00:19:03,170 --> 00:19:04,470 I know that. 862 00:19:04,540 --> 00:19:05,940 In my brain. 863 00:19:06,010 --> 00:19:07,070 Can we go? 864 00:19:07,310 --> 00:19:09,470 Yeah. Let's go. 865 00:19:07,310 --> 00:19:09,470 I just need to... 866 00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:11,100 Come on. No! 867 00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:11,100 ...do one more thing. 868 00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:12,510 No, no, no! 869 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:19,920 Loving smiles 870 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:19,920 and smiling tears 871 00:19:20,690 --> 00:19:24,960 The midnight of 872 00:19:20,690 --> 00:19:24,960 my heart is you 873 00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:28,320 Okay, I'm sorry, everyone. 874 00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:28,320 Excuse me. 875 00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:30,990 Excuse me, 876 00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:30,990 but I need to 877 00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:30,990 say something. 878 00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:32,230 Is that Gate Lady? 879 00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:34,030 I know you're 880 00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:34,030 probably thinking, 881 00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:36,570 "There's that crazy gate lady 882 00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:36,570 from outside back again." 883 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,330 And to some extent, 884 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,330 you're right. 885 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,330 I am the gate lady. 886 00:19:39,410 --> 00:19:42,380 But the only thing 887 00:19:39,410 --> 00:19:42,380 I'm crazy about is 888 00:19:39,410 --> 00:19:42,380 leaving the past behind. 889 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,850 So, I would like 890 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,850 to apologize 891 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,850 and raise a glass 892 00:19:46,950 --> 00:19:51,680 to change and forgiveness 893 00:19:46,950 --> 00:19:51,680 and the future 894 00:19:46,950 --> 00:19:51,680 and Ann and Mark, 895 00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:54,450 and happiness and 896 00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:54,450 Nick Newport Sr. 897 00:19:54,990 --> 00:19:58,190 May all your future gazebos 898 00:19:54,990 --> 00:19:58,190 live long and prosper. 899 00:19:58,490 --> 00:19:59,960 Please leave! 900 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,960 Is it weird if I ask 901 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,960 to take a piece 902 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,960 of cake with me? 903 00:20:03,030 --> 00:20:04,500 I won't. 904 00:20:03,030 --> 00:20:04,500 Go. 905 00:20:06,370 --> 00:20:07,490 Why are you here? 906 00:20:08,670 --> 00:20:10,000 Come back to work. 907 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:11,830 No. 908 00:20:12,270 --> 00:20:13,470 Come back. 909 00:20:14,740 --> 00:20:16,230 I want you to come back. 910 00:20:16,310 --> 00:20:18,070 Well, I don't want 911 00:20:16,310 --> 00:20:18,070 to come back. 912 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:19,780 The end. 913 00:20:19,850 --> 00:20:21,750 I was talking to 914 00:20:19,850 --> 00:20:21,750 Andy about you, 915 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,620 and he made me realize 916 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,620 that I need you back at work. 917 00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:26,750 What did he say? 918 00:20:26,820 --> 00:20:27,850 Don't recall. 919 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:29,250 Fine, I'll come back. 920 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:30,920 Good. 921 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,130 Okay, I'm leaving. 922 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,390 Bye, Zuzu. 923 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,930 Bye, Duke Silvers. 924 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:47,000 My mom has all your albums. 925 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:47,000 I recognized you 926 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:47,000 the day we met. 927 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,200 Have you told anyone? 928 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,270 No. 929 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,410 Good girl. 930 00:20:57,620 --> 00:20:58,980 Well, excuse me. 931 00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,920 I had a meeting with 932 00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,920 Ron Swanson yesterday, 933 00:21:00,990 --> 00:21:02,390 but had a little 934 00:21:00,990 --> 00:21:02,390 car trouble. 935 00:21:02,460 --> 00:21:04,550 Sorry, he's busy right now. 936 00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:06,790 Well, can I 937 00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:06,790 reschedule? 938 00:21:06,860 --> 00:21:08,230 Sure. Hmm. 939 00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:10,160 How about June 50th? 940 00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:13,330 Sorry? 941 00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:13,330 Do you think you 942 00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:13,330 could come back today 943 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,600 at 2:65? He's available then. 944 00:21:16,170 --> 00:21:17,470 What is going on? 945 00:21:17,540 --> 00:21:20,300 Looks like the only 946 00:21:17,540 --> 00:21:20,300 other day he has open is 947 00:21:17,540 --> 00:21:20,300 Marchtember One-Teenth. 948 00:21:20,370 --> 00:21:22,140 Does that work, sir? 50619

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