Original subtitles

Baba (father)

Every year I write you a letter.

Every year since Ma put me in a car,

my nose pressed against the window,

and we drove away from you.

She kept saying we’re going home.

No.

Really?

Really.

Don't.

Alright, go.

Let’s just get through this.

Tea?

Tea at four.

I’d forgotten.

How are you?

I'm alright, Ma. I'm good.

****

I write you letters. All the time.

In my head. On the walls.

So I remember.

So you don’t forget.

Hi, Mrs. N. -Miku.

Good to see you.

Come on, come on, come on.

No, I’ll swing by later. I just got in,

I just wanted to know what happened? How is she?

She was making pakoda.

She had the heat up, forgot, pan full of oil. It caught fire.

Fire brigade?

Yeah, fire brigade, social services, social security, local council.

They've asked for a needs assessment.

What's that?

- A test to see if you can look after yourself?

Oh, let me guess. She just smashed it.

Better than that.

You have to agree to do it.

She didn't.

Hey, I said come. I didn't say it would be easy.

Well, she seems like herself.

She is like that in front of strangers.

Well I can’t keep her here, you know.

I know it's not Indian. It's not what we’d do back home.

Yeah at home, she would be in a joint family.

Where you pay somebody ten, twenty thousand rupees

a month to stay with her all day.

You're thinking of care home, no?

Yeah.

Wait.

I can't.

Three months.

Wait three months.

I can't afford it.

Please.

Just three months. No care home.

And after that, I won't say anything.

You've heard something, haven't you?

What?

I kept the house alive. In my memory.

I come home from school.

Baba (father)?

Why didn't you wake me?

I thought you were tired, I didn't-

What happened to tea?

I was waiting for you.

You forgot, didn't you?

Yes.

Hi. Who are you?

Why don't you turn that off?

It happens every time I cook. Then just switches off by itself.

You went and met Laxmi as soon as you came back home.

We need to talk.

Later. We talk after dinner.

I have notes.

Why do you have so many highlighters?

I stole them.

You stole them?

Yeah. BBC orders too many.

May I? -Yeah.

What's that?

It's a dictaphone.

Yes, I know it's a dictaphone, but what do you use it for?

I use it for my music.

I thought you weren’t supposed to, traditionally.

Not everything we learned was correct, you know.

Besides, I like to take notes.

Today, Anamika is coming. Tomorrow, we practice Bhimpalasi.

Day after, Anamika is going.

Who's we?

Where do you get the tapes?

It's a digital.

How's Laxmi?

Laxmi...

Itching?

.. is herself, fine.

She's a liar and a thief.

I'm sure she's doing side- business in drugs.

Wish I'd known.

She'll tell you.

Don't worry. She’ll tell you herself.

Okay, what are we going to do?

We are going to do nothing.

There was a fire.

Yes.

On saturday.

There was a fire.

And who do you think called the fire brigade?

that she didn't tell you, no? -No.

I did.

I called them.

Look.

I know I'm not well, I have dementia,

but I also know that I am well enough.

I am not that ill.

Well enough for what?

To stay here. To look after myself.

Here...

I'm going to need a carer soon, you'll have to sign for that.

And then?

Then you can take my ashes to Haridwar or just courier them.

In the end, that's all you'll have to do.

So now?

Now, nothing. You go.

Nothing here, nothing to see.

Can I see the bank statements?

Sure.

When are you leaving?

Ma?

Are you going to the loo?

************!

Ma, what are you doing?

Miku, look- I can't find a taxi. Phone for one.

My phone’s in the house.

Get it, it's getting late. Hurry up.

Where are you going, Ma?

BBC 4 recording. Have you forgotten?

It's cold out, isn't it?

We are performers, Miku.

Monkeys on a string.

Sahebs point a stick... Ay, dance!

And we dance.

One sec, is this the Aaj ka Sangeet recording?

Yes. -Ma that's not today. It's tomorrow.

You're lying.

How would I know the name of the show? I haven't lived here in years.

Are you sure, Miku? -Yes!

Because BBC, you know, it's a forty pound payment.

I know, -Forty pounds, Miku. Forty-

Tomorrow. It's tomorrow. The recording is tomorrow.

I swear.

Swear?

I swear.

I don’t suppose you have the keys?

I am really sorry, we won’t even come in-

We need to soak her feet. -Hello, beta.

Hi, Aunty.

We're not so friendly at the moment. -Yeah, I noticed.

Thank you.

Come on.

Sugar?

How many?

Jesus, Mrs. N! -Hey, don't you start.

Everyone wants to get their hands on my blood sugar.

Hang on. You have diabetes?

It's a myth.

What, diabetes in general or yours in particular?

Both.

If you think she's becoming unmanageable,

you put two drops in a glass of water.

Takes about 10 minutes.

****. Can I borrow your phone?

It says here not to give to dementia patients?

I'm not prescribing.

It's for emergency.

When you really, really need it, a handbrake,

and no more than two drops.

Mrs. N, is this legal?

Get into the habit of giving her a glass of water,

you know, so it's just normal.

Anti-psychotics. I’m almost impressed.

It's insurance.

I should get her home.

I'll get you some slippers.

And buy masks.

Masks?

You can't be serious. It's in China.

It's insurance. Like that.

Oh, will you give us the keys?

I, uh...

I don't have the keys.

I'll make a call. It's not a problem.

Who's got them?

Well?

I thought I’d drop them off.

I thought you'd like to keep them.

I had a set made, another. So...

Come in?

Maybe later.

Suit yourself.

I suppose I owe you a thank you.

Several.

That's okay.

I didn't know you'd moved back.

We had the kid.

I didn't want to work anymore.

This seemed to make sense.

Right.

Congratulations. -Thank you.

This is the moment,

traditionally, you express an interest

in seeing the infant in question.

Well, I'll be around for a bit.

Sure.

If you feel like you don't want the keys- -Oh, I don’t mind, I’ve had them a while.

Okay.

Start the car sometimes?

Oh, yeah.

It's not due a service until June or July?

The remote doesn't work.

Thanks.

Let me know if...

.. she needs anything.

Well, actually...

Hey Ma, glass of water.

Thanks.

Did Laxmi say anything?

She’s hinting all sorts of vague innuendo.

People talk.

Retired people pry.

She’ll hear. I’m hearing... other things.

Like?

They're trying to get the BBC to give some kind of

radioactive, what's the word?

Retrospective? No. Some kind of compensation.

For what? Gender?

Gender. BAME.

Have you heard of this term before?

Yeah,

-I'm one.

Not that it’s ever going to happen.

But, it's nice to dream

about a compensation in thousands of pounds.

What would you do with it?

A nice beach.

Be out in the sun. Close my eyes.

Come on, Ma, you can do better than that.

One more concert.

You've been to hundreds.

You know, there's a legend about Pandit Ravi Shankar.

He played two concerts in Bombay,

around New Year's time back in the seventies.

The first one was at Gateway, big hullabaloo.

Maybe he wasn't in the mood so he played a couple of film songs.

On the sitar? -Yeah.

The reviews weren't good.

But the next night, he played a small concert in a school hall.

And he played till the trains stopped working.

The whole city was asleep. 'Sannaata'

What does that mean?

Till the world was still. And silent.

Then he told the people that since they can't go back home, they might as well stay.

And he played...

and he brought the sun up.

Concert like that.

That’s more like it.

Anything achievable?

Golf.

Golf? -Yeah.

Golf.

Golf?

Okay, well, Tilly is going to be here in a minute.

I have to step out.

Do you want to make a note?

Why Tilly?

Ma, what happened two nights ago?

Yeah, so I called for the fire brigade, didn't I?

On Saturday.

Why does this hurt?

I don't know.

Hi.

Hi, Tilly.

Thanks.

No problem.

I should be about two hours or so.

Hey!

What are you doing?

I'm sorry? -How do you have the keys?

I'm sorry, who are you?

It's okay, Bose.

She’s opened Mrs. Tripathi’s car.

That's because she's Mrs. Tripathi’s daughter.

Hi Ana. -Hi, Mr. Batra.

Sorry.

It's okay Bose. You didn't know. It’s fine.

Sorry. Look, I don't know her. You.

Fine, It's fine.

Remote doesn't work. -We know.

Thank you Gautam.

Bobby Uncle.

Hello, Anamika.

Well, that was weird.

No, he was just being nice. He keeps an eye on your mother's car.

Because she’s an elderly woman who lives on her own.

Bad things can happen.

Yeah, I know about the fire.

You know about the fire because Laxmi called you.

I’m not talking about the fire...

Persaud.

If you have to go out in the middle of the night,

this is a good street to do it on.

Really?

This is how he shows affection.

What are you going to do, Ana?

Miss Fields? -Yes.

We’re expecting you.

Doctor.

Hi, I'm Dr. Alice Ferris.

Hi.

I'll leave you to it.

Sadhana Tripathi. Is that correct?

Yeah. Sorry about my handwriting.

No, it's fine. Legible.

I’m adopted.

Of course.

Would you like to see the place? -Yes, please.

This is our kitchen.

We cook everything on site.

Hi Simon, is Laura coming today?

No, no, she can't make it this week. Next week, we hope.

Look forward to seeing her. Hi, Theresa.

So we try and eat together and cook together.

of course, keeping with the dietary requirements.

We do find in our experience that keeping them active

physically and mentally is super important.

Hi Reena, Piers.

This is our beautiful garden.

And this is our activity room,

fun board games.

Would you like to move to the financials?

Sure.

So, first thing to establish is her eligibility for a care package,

because it is a substantial sum of money without.

How much?

Ballpark, forty-seven thousand pounds.

Right.

My two girls, you’d say.

Abrasion in action. Who knows?

Something new might come out of it.

Hello.

Bring my car around from the front. It's a Corolla.

And then together we can escape the hell out of here.

I'll give you a fiver.

No, I'll do it for free.

I knew you were a good ’un.

See you out front in two.

I’ll just get my coat.

Where's Tilly?

She left when Andy came. -Who’s Andy?

That’s Andy.

Andrew Purcell.

You must be Anna-mika.

Anamika.

He's a master of rhythm.

I don't know if I'm a master.

I'm interested in rhythm.

You called her?

I didn't call her. She came.

You're her student. Since when?

Three years.

How the hell did that happen? She doesn't teach.

I tracked her down. -Why?

I was working on my performance thesis

and I found this recording from the 80s.

Aaj ka Sangeet.

She changed that composition.

I'd never heard a Maaru Bihag like that.

But there was only one recording, so I did some digging

and I got lucky...

Andrew? Some toast? -Oh, yes please.

Would you like some help? -No, no. Two minutes.

And it turns out your mother was the one who made the recording.

So I tracked her down.

Got yelled at, on the doorstep, came back again.

Pretty classic master-disciple start.

It turns itself off in a bit.

Does no one want to disconnect it?

She doesn't care.

So Laxmi called you.

That's strange. They’re...

What? -Nothing.

She went for a walk two days ago.

Oh, good. I've been telling her. Although now-

At five in the morning, in her best saree, thinking she had a recording.

Please!

They’re what?

I think she and Laxmi might be fighting because Laxmi called you.

How... how long are you staying?

Three hours, unless I am a bad student.

Miku, close your door if you like. We will be practicing.

What the...

I wish you two hadn’t met.

Or if you did, that you hated each other. Or settled somewhere else.

Anything but this.

You caught me off guard. -It's fine.

I was really hoping to take her to a few concerts this year.

Rashid Khan, maybe.

What's changed? -Well, If you’re thinking about a care home.

Nothing's final.

And even if she's there, we can always take her out.

That sounds pretty final.

Andy, I keep telling you and I keep forgetting.

Here, this is for Karen.

Sorry. This is probably inappropriate.

I'll see you soon. -Yeah, okay.

He's a good boy.

Who's Ashwin Raina?

Is this why you came?

I came because you set the house on fire.

Liar!

Oh, really? Have you ever known me to come rushing back home, Ma?

You came rushing back because you're almost out of money.

You think I don't know?

You think I don't keep a tab on the joint account?

I still wouldn't have come here, would I?

Why would you? Your father isn't here anymore.

For years, I said, get a job.

Not a doctorate.

Don’t get a doctorate just because your father had one.

Who is Ashwin Raina?

Ashwin Raina is somebody I trust.

Who is this man? Is he a lawyer? -No.

How do I get in touch with him?

How do I get in touch with him?

If something happens to me, he will know.

****! What? He’ll just feel it?

He’ll just...

How do I even know he’s real?

Oh, that's not fair.

Oh, yeah, this is not fair. -No. It's not.

Ana, you and I have hated each other for years.

Hated?

That's okay. That's understandable because,

you know, we did those things.

What things?

Whatever.

But to say that he's not real.

Ma, if I need to mortgage the house, I need to-

It's not your house to mortgage!

Yes, but whose house is it?

Ma!

Ma!

The ****!

****!

****!

Why won't you turn the video on?

Where are you? -Common.

I wanted to see how you were.

Well, we're not supposed to call each other, remember?

We're not supposed to call each other

when our partners are in Central America on field surveys.

We're not to be needy.

I didn’t think I‘d feel like this.

I miss you.

We're not...

.. we're not good on the phone.

If you were here, I’d know what to do.

What would you do, Richard? -Nothing.

I'm sorry, this isn't very helpful. It just...

What?

Did you hear from Bruno in Basel?

No. **** knows when that happens. If-

How long before she needs to go into a home?

She doesn't need to go in yet.

But then she needs someone here full time

and guess what that costs?

Sell the house.

The house has been willed to someone else.

What?

Yeah. She's left the house to someone else.

In her will.

Who?

I don’t ******* know. It’s not me.

I can be there in two hours.

No.

I know you think I didn't let you in the house because I didn't want you to meet her.

But I didn't let you in the house because I don't want you

to see the two of us together.

She doesn't get to contaminate you.

She got everything else.

Ma?

What are you doing?

She steals, you know.

Everything in place?

Yeah. For now, yes.

Drink this.

Thank you.

Going to bed?

Tea at four?

Tea at four.

Mrs. N. -Is Chechi...

Laxmi.

What happened?

What happened?

Come.

I’ll come by the shop. Yeah. Yeah.

Cool, thanks.

Hey. -Hey.

What are you doing?

They want to start some kind of grocery delivery for the street.

We compile a list, pick up everything and drop it off on doorsteps.

I hadn’t thought of that.

You in?

Unless you don’t want to leave Aunty by herself?

Just the street? -Yes.

Sure.

Where do we get started?

Raina will sort us out.

Who? -Ashwin Raina?

Runs the corner store?

What?

Nothing.

You okay? -Yeah, sorry.

Let me know when you want to make the delivery runs.

Cool. -Bye.

Bye.

Are you okay?

The Nursing and Midwifery Council, they are...

.. they are asking people, retired people,

if we are interested in going back to work.

Wow. Because of... ?

They’re expecting a mess, Miku.

And you're going?

Kaavi wont let me.

Well, she's worried about her mother.

She doesn't know her mother. -Oh, hey.

I would rather die.

You ask Sadhana. I belong to the NHS.

I don't like to let my people down. And I can help.

I’m sorry.

How's your neck?

Better.

She was calm today.

Too calm.

Have you been giving her regular glasses of water?

With a little something?

She's your mother,

but I will beat you within an inch of your life.

Only for emergencies, Miku. Clear?

Clear.

Hey, -Hi.

Would you like to... ?

Oh, no. I’m just...

Forty five p.

Excuse me?

Card.

If she's up, I'm up. If she sleeps through, I'm still up.

Oh, and there's a smoke detector that just has a mind of its own.

How apt is that?

You need to get her out of there.

That can't happen at the moment.

You need to get out of there.

I just- I can't, I can't leave her like this.

You're not equipped.

No one is, but you're really not equipped.

Man, I thought I was dating my dad, but I am actually dating my mom.

Thank you so much.

I'm trying to tell you things I think you can't see.

It's like quicksand. I've been there.

Oh, really? When?

You think you’re the only person who’s looked after someone who's terminally ill.

She's not- she's not terminally ill.

Yes, she is.

She's going to wither and die.

It might take months. It might be years.

But if you're not careful, she's going to take you with her.

I can't leave her like this.

Put her into a care home.

No, you just- you don't understand, do you?

All you've done is moaned about her.

Have you taken a single concrete step towards anything?

**** you.

You don't have money,

there's a job in Basel.

You don't want to leave her,

find money elsewhere.

Can't do that? Sell the house.

Can't do that? Find the man she's left it to

and talk to him.

Do something.

And fix that smoke detector!

Can't be that difficult.

Hey. -Hi.

Do you know someone who can help me with something electrical?

Electrical? -And slightly illegal.

But you knew that. -I was hoping not.

You're taking a problem to him.

He's now your best friend.

Thanks.

Hey Ana. -Yeah?

Your English is much better than mine, I know. But,

I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as slightly illegal.

There's a smoke detector, driving me mad.

So you're staying.

Give me a second.

We have to find out if the smoke detectors are battery or electrical.

I’m sorry, I couldn't be there for Meera Aunty.

I sat beside her bed for months, wanting to pull the plug.

Couldn't do it.

And the lesson is, Anamika?

You didn't know if it was battery or electrical?

Men are weak.

And don't listen to old people.

We know nothing.

She liked you.

This one here? -Uh-huh

But it's not a Saturday.

The ice made my finger feel funny.

You said it was frost-bite and that it was going to fall off.

I almost missed your grin because you had the big beard.

Hungry.

Laxmi told me to ask about the NHS.

What?

She must really like you.

Yeah, she does.

Do you even know where she's from?

What? India? The street?

Yeah. Kerala? -No.

She's from a small village in Kerala.

It's called Pala.

So she studied to be a nurse.

A man married her and took her to England.

New job, new life.

Aadesh Uncle? -No, not him.

I don't know his name, but he-

he was gone in a few months.

He did it for dowry?

No.

He sold her to an Indian family here.

They took her passport and she didn't speak any English.

One second-

She started off as a nurse.

Yeah, they needed a 24-hour nurse for a elderly couple.

Small requests at first.

Walk the dog, do a little shopping.

You should ask her to show you the burn marks sometime.

In the end, she hadn'tstepped out of the house for four months,

wasn't allowed.

Then there was this party, about eighty to hundred people in the house.

She waited till about ten thirty in the night,

then just walked out the door. And walked straight to a police station.

Nange peyer.

What?

Barefoot, in the clothes she was wearing.

And she didn't speak a word of English.

You know the NHS for her isn't something

you can stick on the side of a bus to win a vote.

It saved her life.

It saved her life.

So now she feels she's letting them down.

Well, that's just not true, is it?

How would you know?

What she feels? How she feels?

I don't.

But it happened thirty years ago.

And the two of you hang on to your stories like they happened yesterday.

You let me down.

You let me down every single day

since the day you were born, you let me down.

And you never let me down?

I let you down?

Do you want to discuss pets now?

Yeah, but you started much earlier. -How?

Because it was you and your father.

The two of you had each other.

You didn't need me. He hadn't needed me for years.

Yeah, your marriage is not my fault.

You meet a student backpacking through India, this is what happens.

I should never have married him and I should never have come here.

I should never have had you.

Even when you were small, I mean, just 10 or 11 years old.

The two of you picking on me?

Maybe you should have walked, barefoot, when you couldn't speak the language.

Don’t say anything about Laxmi. I’ll slap you!

Oh, it’s not like you never hit.

Yeah, in this country, I had to learn how to hit without leaving a mark.

Oh, what a ******* sacrifice.

You stole his watch.

I saw you, the day he died, you stole his watch.

Wanted something to remember him by.

I didn't have to steal anything.

I had a reminder right under my nose, you.

Every ******* day.

Go to bed, Ma.

I'll go to the garden.

************!

What the hell?

I like him.

Roz khana deti hoon. -You what?

I feed him every day.

Is he like a pet?

No.

Oh, you ******* ghoul.

What happened to your hand?

Oh, it's just a cut. -Show me.

No Ma, it's fine, it's nothing.

Oh, no, no. That doesn't look good.

Come inside, let me take a look.

Come, let me see.

Miku.

I'll get it, Ma.

Sorry. -That's okay.

Ma.

Do you remember making me eat a cigarette once?

No, that never happened.

Where's my remote?

What happened to your finger?

Nothing. Why don't you go to bed?

I’ll watch a little TV.

‘night, Ma.

Special, for Laxmi.

Alright.

To mask or not to mask?

Gosh, they are bit claustrophobic, aren't they?

You know, I'd have said, in school,

that the last person to marry Indian and quit work was you.

Don't take it the wrong way.

Solidity is underrated.

Jai saved my life.

Hello, Tilly!

Hello, Ana!

Hello, ladies!

Oh, my God. Another one.

A bullhorn?

Room service. -Okay.

I don't know why I have a megaphone.

He has two. Why?

That, I don't know. But, sometimes, we relay messages to each other.

Like what?

Pretty girls are coming!

Well, these two are yours.

Do you want me to bring them in?

Are you mad? This is the most fun I've had in ages.

Right now, I would welcome a heart attack.

Can you talk? No bullshit.

Ask. I'll answer if I can.

Did she wander, before?

Well,

Hey Bobby!

Hurry up, she has other houses.

Before you came?

Not that I know.

It's not your fault, Ana.

Old age is a curse.

You sleep, like I do.

Or we don't, like Bobby.

But still we're doing the same thing, huh,

waiting, watching.

What are you waiting for?

I will let you know when we find out.

How are you?

Well, I came home, after years, and now my mother wanders.

Well, at least she has someone to bring her back then.

These are strange times, Anamika.

All this... lockdown and fear,

I don't know sometimes,

I feel powerless.

It's going to be okay.

We should be giving you hope.

Thanks for this.

And hey, come back, we have a beer.

Right here. -Right here.

Oh, goodness. -It's hot.

I know what you mean about solidity, you know.

My- Richard taught me how to cycle when I was twenty-eight.

Randomly?

Or was it long-held dream?

No, no. Completely randomly,

on a Sunday in a Decathlon populated by at least 70 screaming kids.

Ooh, that's a tough crowd.

He said, I can't believe no one taught you how to cycle.

And then he did it, with patience and humor and grace.

I never, I never thought that would be a thing.

You know, a memory that would help me get through things.

Someone teaching me how to cycle.

Jai’s been working from home for a week.

Him.

School's shut, so the kid.

The in-laws.

Sounds crowded.

I scream into a pillow every day.

When it gets really bad,

I draw.

You draw?

Someone suggested it.

As... therapy.

I had a moment with Sam.

I...

I didn't like him much.

After you delivered? -Yeah.

It dragged out for a bit.

I didn't dislike him ever, but

he took every second I had.

I resented that.

Then one day, we did a drawing together.

Things were a little better.

I think my mother still has postpartum depression.

You think I'm joking?

How many you got left?

Three on Wiseton.

See you later. -See you later.

Mrs. N, why can't I get through to your phone?

I broke my phone.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, I broke my phone.

Why?

If Kaavi wants me to stay in the house,

then why do I need a phone?

I'm here, no?

Older people are damn stupid, Miku.

When will you learn?

Who’s Ashwin Raina?

Owns a corner shop.

I know. Who is he?

Friend of your mother’s.

What kind of friend?

Friend-friend. -You didn't think to tell me.

Friend-friend. -You didn't think to tell me.

Why? Is it any of your business?

Oh, yes!

It's between her and him. No one else.

She's been unwell for three years.

She said no, she could manage. When she couldn't, I called you.

She's not in her... She's not herself.

It doesn't matter.

Did I ever tell her what you were doing?

The cutting? -No.

That's for you to keep, Miku.

You should be allowed to keep things to yourself.

I did tell her that you were forging her signature on the school reports,

and you were very good.

She's okay?

Yeah.

Not too calm? -No.

Have you spoken to him?

Maybe you should-

Who put me in charge?

Does he make her happy?

Oh, he told me to give you these.

Make them last.

I will. -Right.

Thank you.

Listen, if you need me, just come and get me.

I'm going mad in the house.

Thanks, Mrs. N.

How is she?

She's alright.

I haven't seen her for a while.

Why? What's stopping you?

She doesn't want to...

.. doesn't want me to see her like this.

When do you people even talk?

You think just because you’re in the house now,

you know what's happening?

Oh, you mean your house, the one she signed to you?

Is that what you're worried about?

Well, yes, actually.

I'm holding it... For you.

So think of me as as escrow.

I'll sign it over. Happy?

And what will you do?

It's none of your business. -Yes, it is.

I'm the one named in her will. -Well, I’m her daughter.

Is that why someone else is named in her will?

Is that why Bose doesn't know who's starting her car?

This ******* neighbourhood.

Yeah, this ******* neighborhood.

Those are not even your mother’s brand.

They’re not for her.

What is her brand?

Reds.

She said they remind her of your father.

I want to see her.

Excuse me.

Someone saw us together. Bobby called.

I said we were talking about lists.

He didn't believe that.

But that's okay.

You don’t want people to know she left you her house?

She signed the form?

Shouldn't we be signing in the presence of the notary?

Don't worry, it'll hold up.

Mr. Batra is technically still a notary.

I'll sign it before I leave. Then we can get it notarized.

****. This place is like the Mafia.

I'm not leaving the two of you alone.

Where do you get that?

I mix a blend for her.

You know how to make it?

No.

Your mother drinks very light tea.

Watch when I make it.

How d’you two meet?

My wife introduced us.

Wait. How does that even-

You stopped...

.. Andy from coming?

I didn't stop him from coming.

I just asked him to wait until we figure this out.

There’s- there’s nothing to figure out.

Adaab.

How are you?

I am better now.

Every time it snowed, Ma would go into the garden and stand there.

She never looked so happy.

You said it was because it didn’t snow where she was from.

Your friend, you know...

Yup. She steals. Here, drink this.

Oh, I don't smoke.

I just wanted to say thank you for giving us some time.

Sure.

She will forget who I am one day,

I'll just spill out of her head.

She’ll open her eyes. I...

.. and won’t even know me.

You forgot to sign the form.

I'll sign it.

When it's time.

Next time you'll sign before you enter the house.

We're not going to be friends.

No?

But... we want the same thing.

Where d‘you go?

A fox?

Did you call pest control?

It's a pest.

Right.

Tell me you're going to get rid of it.

I put out bread and then I light cigarettes.

-Cigarettes?

Yeah, that's what she does.

I think it's drawn to the smell.

Is this like some

pet you two share? Some kind of therapy?

You can be a real ****** sometimes, you know that.

What does that mean?

Doesn't really translate.

You need to get out of there.

I need to, I need to see it.

See what?

That she recognizes...

.. what happened.

What happened, Ana?

It's not one thing.

No.

She- she made me her enemy.

All parents are enemies. - No, no, not like this.

Like what?

She was unfair.

No, that's not right. She was,

unjust, alright? It was injustice, okay?

I wanted a puppy and she got me a goldfish.

Okay.

Okay, so I didn't want a fish, right?

I wanted a dog.

So? She got you a pet.

Yeah, I know. I'm trying to-

It's complicated.

What do you mean?

After dad died, we were poor.

Dal and crisps, meal after meal.

We couldn't afford a dog, she made that clear.

But why get me the fish then?

Because she wanted you to have a pet.

Okay, forget the ******* fish.

I started smoking when I was 12.

Right? I didn't even smoke,

I just used to light them and let them burn down.

Because the smell reminded me of my father.

She found the packet, under the mattress.

Richard. She-

She hit you?

Oh, no, no, she didn't hit me. Not that time.

She made me eat the cigarette.

Ana. That's awful.

Please come back.

I'm not going anywhere.

Nothing you can do can change the past.

You know, she took that goldfish while it was still alive

and flushed it down the toilet.

She made me watch. To teach me a lesson.

What?

Yeah. Later she tried to say it was... dead.

Ana?

Ma?

What’s wrong with my arm?

Can we, can we sit?

All right, hmm, hang on. Hang on.

Come here.

Okay.

Okay? -Yeah.

You stay here, and I am going to go get some help, yeah?

No, no, Don't call a doctor. I won't go to the hospital.

Ma!

Okay? Don't need a doctor. I will not go.

I won't go, I won't go.

Ma! Listen to me.

Listen, you *******, I won't go.

Okay, okay. Ma.

If you fetch anyone I will slap you.

Laxmi! I'm going to go get Laxmi, okay? Alright.

I won't go. I am telling you I won't go anywhere.

It's hurts a lot.

I am telling you I won't go anywhere.

No doctor, she won't go to hospital. Why?

I'd feel better if there was some alcohol in it.

I don't think there is any in the house.

Bedroom, cupboard.

Listen to me.

It's dislocated.

What?

I won't go to hospital!

What is she saying?

She's worried they’ll make her take a needs assessment test.

You don't speak Hindi?

I won't go, absolutely not.

Come on Aunty, drink this.

Drink, drink it.

Good.

Your mother’s an Aunty.

Bobby up and out.

Hang on, what are you doing? -Miku,

Yeah?

Where is her NHS number? -I don't know.

It's downstairs. - Well, we need to fi- Brace her!

What? What are you doing? -It's all right.

No, it's not. We just need to find the number.

No, we don’t.

************!

************!

You people are completely mad.

We dodged a bullet.

I've been thinking she's mostly okay. Muddled.

But...

I haven't been thinking about her using the stairs, or a knife.

Listen, firstly, five years ago, she was diagnosed with blood pressure.

What?

She talked to the doctor. She talked to me.

She found out Batra's daughter was a nutritionist.

She, she got a diet sheet for free.

And she lived off courgettes for six months and fixed it.

Ya, well, she's the hardest ***** we know.

How does that help in the shower though?

So that's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about.

I can’t afford a carer. -Miku, you talk too much.

How would you feel if I started to come, every day?

What do you mean?

Well, I would come in the morning we go for a walk.

Come home. Come back in the afternoon. Help her shower.

Stay with her until the evening.

Every day? -Every day.

I...

need to get out a bit.

I don’t know what to say.

So I'll take that as a yes.

Mrs N.

I know you’re there.

Here, Ma.

Laxmi is coming from today. Okay?

Oh, I think I'd like that.

Am I speaking with her these days?

She'll be here in a bit.

Okay.

We need to talk.

We talk too much, Miku.

No, this isn't about what we're going to do.

Then?

It's about what we did.

Once, a really long time ago, I came home from school.

And you were here.

And you...

.. are me.

And you climbed up the stairs.

And then I- you- did this.

And you- me- went into your room.

Just a step. Dropped your bag.

Please, Ma. Just a step.

And what did you see?

Your-

my- goldfish bowl is missing,

Miku-

Ma, you’re Miku.

And what did you do next?

I- I ran to the bathroom.

And this was up.

And what did you see there?

I saw me- you- press the flush.

What was in there?

The goldfish.

What was my goldfish’s name?

You didn't name him.

Why?

You hated him.

Why did you flush him, Ma?

He was dead.

I've been giving you this.

Not every day, but often, to shut you up.

To stop you from being you.

Why did you flush him, Ma?

He was dead.

Ma.

He was dead. He-

I-

It was just the flush water that made him seem like- you-

But really, he was dead.

The goldfish was- I swear.

Why did you say he was alive then?

To hurt you.

For years,

and even now sometimes I tell people I'm adopted.

I'm sorry.

So do I.

Oh God.

This is what I remember.

How cold the the tile was, how clean

White light.

It smelled like a hospital.

And then Ma: “it’s time. ”

So she sold her jewellery and borrowed from everywhere.

So she sold her jewellery and borrowed from everywhere.

Yeah, it's hot here, isn't it? -Yeah, well.

That's a hell of a burden to take on while you're a single parent.

Yeah. She was terrified we'd be asked to leave.

If you own, though...

And those two, they already lived here.

They were very kind to me and my mother.

They didn't have to be.

And then, of course, Laxmi moved in.

I met the two of them yesterday.

Who?

Oh, Laxmi and your mom. -Ah, yeah.

Aunty looked good.

Only her walk, really.

You can only tell if you've known her before.

Is it to be a care home then?

You know, I'm not sure anymore.

Look.

Please, please don't take this the wrong way.

What?

We're going to have a second one.

Oh, it's a bit of a 180.

Yeah. -Congratulations.

Thanks.

Why would I take it the wrong way?

It's not cramped at home. Yet.

But the in-laws are over.

My parents will come at some point.

So if you're looking to sell, we'd be happy to buy it.

Market rate, everything.

Are you mad?

No, no.

If you're looking to sell, let us know. That's all.

Right.

If you're here and Aunty, that's great.

And Jai was saying we could even figure out part payment now

and then, whenever it's convenient. On your schedule.

Are we still friends?

Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

Okay.

Which one?

You tell.

No. You tell me, greedy guts. Which one do you want?

I...

I can't. I- I mean.

How do they say?

It's...

I can't tell, I can't tell.

Okay, well try.

Okay, what's this one?

Say it, say it, whatever it is.

Ha... Hara. -Green, that's green, right?

It doesn't even mean anything. -Okay, fine.

What's this one?

Bhura... aur safed.

White... Safed. What's Bhura?

Bhura, Brown.

What’s the smell of Banjaar, Ma?

Fire. -Fire?

Agarbatti.

Aur ghee.

Aur Nagori Puri.

Incense, Ghee. What's nagori puri?

Agarbatti is incense. -Yeah.

That's- that’s the first word I learned from your father.

Incense.

And nagori puri is food.

Okay. What else?

Temple bells.

And...

the sound of a broom.

Just, just sound.

Like taste. Like taste.

Okay.

What's that one?

Bhura?

What does ghee taste of?

Home.

Yes... And?

Salt. Cream and salt.

Bhura. -So you can taste it.

Yeah.

But you just, you forget the... shabd.

Is that right?

Yeah.

Lost...

Lost. Words, they are going.

I'll take this one. -Why?

Because you like the other one, no?

I put my head against your chest.

I wanted to be sure.

Walk? -Yes.

Trust the two of you to come up with this.

Everyone has been cooped up at home too long.

People look at you funny.

Like death is catching,

contagious.

Ana.

Anamika!

Laxmi! What’s happenning Laxmi ?

Miku!

Miku!

Don’t make me repeat.

Get coke in a glass, add salt.

Go! Fast.

Tilly, you got her head? -Tilly, hold her.

In the end, it’s quick.

A hatch rises.

The tray slides forward.

The world is fire.

Laxmi.

Here.

What happened? -Drink this. Drink this.

Ma, can you hear me? -That’s good. That’s good.

Ma? Is she going to be okay?!

Laxmi, can you feel this?

Laxmi?

The ambulance will be here in a minute.

Can you hear me?

Wherever you are?

Could you - a signal?

Something? Please?

Ma.

I’m awake, Miku.

What happened?

Why are you awake?

Laxmi.

What happened?

You forgot?

I’m useless.

No.

No, Ma. You were incredible.

Her sugar levels went up.

It was a stroke.

Stupid fool.

She bad? -Not good.

I feel so bad, I used to give her chocolates.

She's a grown woman.

She made a choice.

If you make a choice, it is yours.

Even if you don't want it.

I'm scared.

My heart is heavy, Miku.

Like a stone.

Is there anything I can do?

No, thank you.

Tilly’s taking her for walks.

As a temporary measure,

it’s a big help.

That’s good of her.

Just feels different without her.

You know, it's not how it was two days ago.

I walk around.

I don't know where I am.

Basel will call tomorrow.

It’s... just unfortunate.

Just bad.

It feels incomplete.

I'm sorry, my love.

I'll just call you back, yeah?

Hello?

Laxmi?

Call Andy. I think he’ll want to know.

My love, unasked, fills my scarf with sugar.

My love, unasked, fills my scarf with sugar.

And steals away the zest from my days.

My love takes me away to a distant town.

My love takes me away to a distant town.

And I must forsake the lanes-

-the lanes-

-the lanes-

of my childhood

And I must forsake the lanes of my childhood.

And I must forsake the lanes of my childhood.

My-

Baba (father)?

Ma?

How is she?

She's good.

I had something to say.

Keep her home as long as you can.

That's all.

Is it about money?

I’m not taking money from you.

But it's for her.

No. -I've signed the form.

Batra will notarize it. I'll make sure of that.

The house is yours.

No, I can't do it.

It's too much, everything. I can't.

She's not well.

Why don't you move in and look after her if it means that much to you?

She should get to choose.

She chose. She signed. You signed. Now I'm in charge.

She doesn't remember signing.

Yeah. Well, she doesn't remember a lot, does she?

She needs to choose.

She spent her whole life,

paying off obligation for you.

For you.

Every thesis she typed, for you.

You. For you.

I'm begging you, please,

Don't make her leave home.

She should be allowed to live in this house as long as she can.

That's fair?

I love you, Baba (father).

I wish you were here. You’d know what to do. And I miss you.

I need you to say it.

Bruno...

-Ana, is it a good time?

Yes.

-Just wanted to say you have the position.

Oh, well, that's wonderful.

-Congratulations, from me.

Well, thank you. Thanks that's kind of you.

-Can you start at the 21st?

Oh, next week?

-Yeah. Next week.

Yeah. Yeah.

-Is that a problem? No, no, no, of course, I can.

-That’s super, wonderful.

We will see you in Basel, yes? Right.

Okay.

-Excellent.

Thank you, thank you so much.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Hello. Hi, this is Ana Fields.

Sorry, Anamika Fields.

May I speak with Dr. Ferris?

Yes, yes. Of course.

Hi Ma.

Tea at four?

Tea at four.

Ah, Dr. Ferris.

Yeah. See you in a couple of hours.

Champals

Ma.

What are we doing today?

I don't know.

We talked about it all week.

It's not Saturday, is it Saturday today?

Ma.

So...

Bruno callled.

We are almost packed.

I still don’t know if she understands.

Where are we going?

Straight to hell.

Ma?

Where are we going?

Where are we going?

Oh Ma, we talked about this.

In Bristol,

in Clifton Downs- -I was a toddler.

There were a million colors in the sky.

I asked who painted it. I know the story, Ma.

Where are we going?

In Clifton Downs,

she was very small.

In a pram.

I put the pram next to a bench.

And I waited.

I walked away...

long way.

I left her,

in Clifton Downs.

Then I came back.

Thinking how would it look?

Who did you leave?

Miku.

I left Miku.

I’m sorry. -It's okay.

I killed her pet.

No, the goldfish was dead, Ma.

I lied to her. I don't lie to her. We don't lie.

Ma!

I'm sorry.

What are you sorry about?

I must have done something, I forget.

Forget.

No, Ma.

We are going because it's the best thing for you, and for me.

Please, I need you to say it.

We are going because it's the best thing for you, and for me.

You swear?

I swear.

Hello?

Dr. Ferris.

Two minutes? Yes.

Thank you.

Hello, Ms. Fields. Good to see you again.

Come in.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Tripathi. How are you today?

Hello, Sadhana.

My name is Alice.

May I put this on you?

Thank you.

Ma?

Do you want some coffee?

Tea at four?

**** it. Let's live a little.

Do you know who I am?

No.

But this is enough.