Original subtitles

No, no, no, no.

- No, no, no. - It's okay.

What do we do? Should we call the police?

Not unless you wanna end up in prison.

No, no...

It's bad. It's just so bad. Why would Mikey keep all this stuff?

To do what he's doin' right now. He's a sick fuck.

Okay. I'll give you sick. I will not give you fuck.

Oh. Really? Huh?

He's tryin' to fuckin' ruin us. Fuckin' junkie.

I know. I know! But... he helped us then.

He really did. And he used to be so kind.

No, to you. You, he likes.

Hopefully, a $50,000 watch will shut him up.

What? No, we're not giving him that.

No, we can't have more evidence out there.

Especially now. I was gonna show you this. Look at that.

What? What am I lookin' at?

That's the raccoon that set off the floodlights the other night.

And then your raccoon came back for a private showing,

asking a lot of questions and touching Jacob's things.

What do you mean, touching his things?

Like freaky touchin'?

- What? What would that be? - I don't know. His underwear?

- Why would you go there? - Well, you said touching!

No. No! She's a prosecutor for the DA, Paul.

- That's the district attorney. - I know what it means.

You didn't look like you did.

Anyway, I told Greg we are not accepting her offer,

because who knows what kind of subterfuge she could be up to?

All right. Do you think that maybe you're gonna make any excuse not to sell?

She asked why we sealed the side door.

You're being paranoid.

Me? Really?

You know, 'cause you could just talk to Mikey

instead of giving him a stolen watch.

Oh, yeah, because the last time we did that, it went fucking great.

He needs help, Paul.

Not another 50 grand so he can go buy, like, a brick of drugs

and end up back in prison.

All right.

All right. I won't give him the watch.

Thank you. And can you please put this away too?

I don't really need the reminder.

Like the whole house isn't a reminder?

- Next. - No, it's not ideal.

Yeah. Mm-mm. Mm.

- Carpet looks from the Civil Rights era. - Baby...

Since the Civil...

They marched, didn't they?

- Look, I... I know it's a fixer-upper. - Uh-huh.

But what's cool is that Baldwin Hills

is actually a historically Black neighborhood.

Keith, our realtor,

he even said that Issa Rae's parents used to live right down the street.

- Ooh! - I see why they moved.

That is not the dream Dr. King had in mind.

Well, dreams take time to build.

- Yeah, they do. - Mm-hmm.

And you know I have always wanted to build my own.

Oh my God!

So...

- It's gonna take imagination, but-- - Mama!

We don't wanna use our imagination.

We want the Los Feliz house.

- Yeah, yeah. Don't we? - Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Before we commit to the Los Feliz house,

we need to weigh our options.

In case we need a backup.

Speakin' of backup, I gotta use your bathroom.

Ooh-hoo-hoo!

Dennis...

I've been thinking about your mom's offer to help with the house--

I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.

Like, I know you two just met,

but, you know, after my dad died,

uh, she just gave up her whole life for me.

I just wanna give a little back. You know.

Yeah, and I appreciate how close you two are.

Which I'm just now discovering.

We really are.

I just hope one day this little man will meet someone like you

who will love and respect his mother in the same way.

Thank you, baby.

You might wanna crack the window in there. I tried, but it's all rusty.

Oh, yeah. You really gotta... You gotta force it, Mama.

- I got it. - Yeah, okay.

I'll tell you one thing.

I am not moving my four cats from New York to live in this shitbox.

- You have four cats? - Yes.

- Dennis? - What?

Oh, you're bleeding.

Oh, it'll clot. It's fine.

No, no, no. Babe, that window is rusty. You should go to an urgent care.

It's okay. Mama's got it. Come on.

- Come on. - I'll just go with Mom.

- Come on. Go. - Okay--

- Go, go, go. - I'll be back later.

- Yeah. Ooh! Lord, if he survives... - Okay, baby.

Spirit told me to stay here a few days.

- Spirit's never wrong, Mama. - Spirit knows what it's doing.

Hopeless.

Hi, Keith?

Yeah, yeah. It's Carla.

I wanna make an offer on that Baldwin Hills house.

Totally fine.

I'll offer a million dollars. All cash.

Someone from my father's trust will be in touch with the paperwork.

Thank you.

15 seconds.

Okay, you take a nice nose breath here.

Let it out. Yes.

- Yeah... - Let it out audibly. Let it out.

We walk in five, four, three, two, one.

30 seconds. It's quick. It's quick. And then we run for 30.

- Can we talk? - I'm running, so...

My bad. I didn't think you ever used this thing.

Well, I guess we both do things behind each other's backs, huh?

Only my thing is really good for my health,

and your thing is a complete fucking betrayal.

Let's go.

Yes, y'all. This is just the pickup from that--

I'm sorry, okay?

What you did is so fucked up.

I know.

You made the biggest decision two people can make by yourself.

Well, I was trying to protect you from all the stress and worry.

Yeah, yeah. No, no.

'Cause now that we have a positive pregnancy test, we good!

Yeah. 'Cause nothing ever goes tits up after that.

Obviously, things can still go tits up. That's why you keep trying.

You didn't get out of bed for three months after the last time didn't work.

- You were catatonic. - Les!

I wasn't catatonic because it didn't work!

No, because of the hormones or whatever.

No, I was catatonic because you said you didn't wanna try anymore.

And I get why you didn't. I really do.

But for me, giving up on becoming a mom

felt like dying.

Why didn't you tell me you felt that way?

I thought the feeling would go away, but...

it just got stronger.

Baby.

Is there any part of you that's happy about this?

Even a teeny tiny bit?

It's the realtor.

What?

Hey, Greg.

Yeah. Don't worry. I just told the lesbians their offer's DOA.

Yeah. Yeah, that's not, uh, what I wanted to talk about.

I... um...

Do you know where I could get any drugs? Like hard drugs?

Really, Paul?

What, 'cause I'm a gay realtor in LA, I must know where to get drugs?

- No, no, no-- - I am not a stereotype, sir.

- Course not. Course not. - I am a person.

I... Fuck, I'm sorry. I just... I just assumed 'cause I...

I see you sniff a lot.

That's 'cause I have allergies, okay? We're in the middle of a superbloom.

- Right. - And also because I do coke.

Yeah, of course I do coke.

Oh, okay. See? Now, that's great news, 'cause... so do I.

- Really? - Yeah.

'Cause you're so... What's the word I'm lookin' for?

Yeah! That's why I do it.

Yeah, but my... my dealer, he moved...

well, uh, to the Westside.

- And... - Oh God. Should've just killed himself.

Yeah. Yeah, he did.

Uh... anyway, if you could just point me in the right direction?

I can't do that, Paul. I'm sorry.

That's against the realtor code of conduct.

What if I bump your commission 6%?

This is my car.

- Hah. See? - Mm-hmm.

So when's the last time you had a tetanus shot?

I'm gonna go with... maybe never.

No, they made me give you all those shots so you could go to school.

- My mother's a little medically hesitant. - Uh-huh.

Listen, I am 75. I ain't seen a doctor since '75, and I'm just fine.

She's fine.

So, your... your blood pressure's a little high.

High?

- Any... Under any stress lately? - Nothin'.

- Well, now, he's about to have a baby. - Oh, yeah, there is that.

- And he's under a deadline. - Okay.

And he has less than a month to find a new place to live.

- Got it, Mama. - And he has a new wife.

- Met less than a year ago. - Going very well.

That's a lot of "ands."

Yeah, but I'm too blessed to be stressed, right?

Not according to your blood pressure.

How about we take blood, get you vaxxed,

make sure everything's good before the baby comes?

- Okay. - Any family history I should know about?

Well, my mother lived to 99.

If the lightning didn't get her, she still might be here.

My father died of sarcoidosis when he was 39.

Yeah, but that doesn't mean anything.

Uh, it can. I mean, that's just why we take medical histories.

But you're still pretty young.

Whoa, 38? Almost 39!

Yeah, but... but I'm healthy, you know. I'm... I'm a fit... I'm, like, a healthy 39.

How many... how many steps do you get a day?

- I don't know. Average.

- Two forty-seven! - Okay. All right!

So, I... It wouldn't kill me to jog a little.

I mean, it might kill you not to.

It's not funny.

Yeah, okay.

- Hey. - Hi.

Got your message.

Ah. Good to see you. Oh!

Oh, you smell nice.

Thanks. Come... come in.

- Yeah, I'm here for drugs, not pugs. - Stop.

Hi. We're here for the lavender wash.

Thank you.

Good to see you, Greggy.

How's Larry? I haven't seen you lovenerds since my Halloween party.

Yeah, we're actually not speaking right now. It's a lot of drama.

- I really don't wanna talk about it. - Aw.

So... is this...

Oh my God. No!

- I was gonna say! - Yeah, come on.

- Aw! - Trish. Can you imagine?

- No, I can't. - That's hilarious.

- No. - No.

No. Paul is just my client.

Okay. Hey, Paul!

He's lookin' for a little bit of--

- A lot. - Okay.

Of... coke.

- Caine. - Okay.

Cokie-coley.

- What... what do kids call it? - Stop.

Santa's dandruff.

- That's enough names, all right? - Okay!

I think Daisy can help.

How much?

Like a...

brick?

Okay, kingpin. It's giving cartel.

You know, I'm not quite sure what your rate is, but I'll take...

Yeah?

...whatever I can get for this.

- You didn't bring cash? - It's not a swap meet, hon.

Are you a narc? Is he a narc?

No. He's not cool enough to be a narc.

- Well, he has snitch face. - I do see that.

And that's a fake Rolex.

No, that's-- It's a... fake?

What is happening?

- Do you seriously have no money? - Not until we sell the house.

I'm bumping my commission to 10%.

- I got it. - Okay!

Well...

Here you go, Paul.

So, uh... what do I get?

Like, a to-go box, or...

This is for you to sample.

No, no. I'm good. I'm still full from last night.

Don't dishonor me.

Do not dishonor her.

So?

How do we feel?

Yeah, not, uh... bad.

I'll be right back with your brick.

Thank you so much.

What the fuck, Paul?

In what world do you think you can buy cocaine with costume jewelry?

Okay, I don't know. I've never done this before.

I'm actually pretty straitlaced.

Yeah, no shit, Sheldon.

Who the fuck is this even for? 'Cause I know it's not Lydia.

She never even leaves the house.

- It's a long story. - Well, skip the prologue, Dad.

Okay, all right.

- There's this guy that I know. - And?

And... he's a menace to society.

- So? - So I came up with a... a kind of plan.

A plan to what? Reward his inhumanity with a fuckin' bomb-ass time?

No. To plant drugs on him, to get him sent back to prison.

Well, that is fuckin' dark. What'd he do, fuck Lydia or something?

No, but he probably would if he could.

Who is it? Is it a coworker?

Is it your hot neighbor from Rising Tides?

It's my brother.

- No! - Yeah.

- It's my fuckin' brother. - It's your fuckin' brother!

- Always loved your marsala.

I remembered. I also made tiramisu.

So basically, you invited me over to kill me with kindness.

Yeah. Is it working?

Come on, Lyd. You know my beef isn't with you.

No, I know. It's just that your beef seems to cost a lot of money.

Well, everybody's got their debts, right?

Mikey, you just got out of prison.

I can't imagine you wanna keep living this way.

You know, you do deserve better.

Well, I don't know about that, but...

- I'd settle for some tiramisu. - Okay.

My love language is acts of service, but Larry doesn't get that.

And so you know what? Yeah! I am giving him the silent treatment.

- What did he do? - He forgot to pick up my prescription.

And I get it. He's a lawyer. He's busy.

But you know what? I have IBS.

And I will literally lose my shit if I don't get those meds.

Isn't coke a diuretic?

Well, I guess we're gonna find out, baby.

I love you, actually.

Sorry to keep you waiting, boys.

- We're out of bricks. - No!

But I have about a dozen eight balls.

- Oh. Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah?

- Yeah. - Yeah!

- I'll take whatever I can get. - Come here, baby!

- This trade! Oh my God. - There, there.

- Oh, cutie! - No!

- No! - I'm dying.

Oh! Don't be a stranger, okay?

- Aw! - Likewise, Mama. I'm so obsessed with you.

- Come on. - Love you, bye.

- Let's go. - Boo-boo!

Oh fuck.

Place is lookin' really... spiffy.

Yeah.

Well, Paul threw himself into the renovating after Jacob...

Yeah, so...

I think it was his therapy. Not that it worked.

Right.

My therapy was makin' toilet wine with a guy named Thumbs.

Huh. "Pee-noh?"

Yeah.

Oh wow.

Oh man.

Wow.

Yeah.

It's good to see Jacob again.

You know what's weird? Um...

I think he's still here.

Paul thinks I'm crazy, so...

I don't.

Yeah. Yeah.

- Oh jeez. You and Emily are like twins. - Yeah.

Well, don't tell her that,

'cause I'm the last person she wants to look like.

- Come on. - Ugh.

You've always been so beautiful.

Thanks.

Look at this fuckin' douche.

- Yeah. - With the soul patch.

- Yeah! - No wonder he had no luck with women.

Till I brought you around.

Okay, well, you didn't bring me around.

- I was going to the Lava Lounge anyway. - Oh really?

Yeah, um, I wasn't gonna be alone on New Year's Eve.

- Okay, so you were slummin' it with me. - Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Didn't we drink, like... 12 cosmos that night?

Yeah, 'cause it was Y2K, and we thought the world was gonna end.

Which it kinda did, 'cause then Paul showed up.

Yep.

And your whole life started.

Mm. 'Cause you made him drive me home.

- You couldn't handle your cosmos. - Yeah.

Did you ever wonder

how different life would've been if...

If... if what?

If I had

driven you home that night.

Whoa! No, Mikey.

No. No. Uh...

- Okay. - Sorry.

Now this is wet, so I'm gonna change it.

I'm sorry.

I'll... I'll be back down.

Hey, you've reached Paul Morgan at Morgan Contracting.

- Leave me a message... - Oh, fucking Paul.

Yeah, thanks for picking up.

What the fuck are you doing?

God!

Hi. Uh, is Lydia home?

Uh, she's indisposed.

Oh, are you Lydia's husband?

Fuck is it to you?

Uh, I'm sorry about my brother-in-law. He's just... being silly.

So sorry to show up unannounced. Um...

Greg told us that we're out of the running,

and I... I just wanted to apologize,

make sure we... we didn't get off on the wrong foot.

Yeah, so we wrote you a letter just about how much we love your house.

- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.

And we're willing to go over asking.

Oh really? How much over?

Okay. Please. I got this.

Thank you. Very much.

It's really not a good time.

Okay. Thank you...

- Wait, Lydia... Um... - Yeah.

She's pregnant. Yeah.

- Really? - What? I'm sorry, what?

- Yeah. We... we just found out. - You did?

- Yeah. - Okay. So congratulations.

- And, um, it's... it's wonderful news. - Yeah. It is.

We're... we're really happy.

Um... and it would mean everything to us if we could raise our child in your home.

Yeah.

- And obviously, it's your decision. - Mm-hmm.

But it would kill us if we didn't keep trying.

- I will give this a read. Thank you. - We appreciate it.

Thank you, Lydia.

- And, uh, not to be this guy, but... - Uh-huh.

I'm... I'm very connected.

And, uh, if there's anything I can do to help your family find justice,

I'd be happy to help.

You can't.

Thanks.

Oh God. Oh God. Oh!

Oh yeah.

Really? Seriously?

Oh my God.

Oh. Okay.

I was thinkin'. You're right.

I do deserve somethin' good for a fuckin' change.

Ugh. Mikey, I-- We can't.

I don't want you.

Okay.

I want the house.

Oy.

Come on. Let's go!

Mikey, you have to be reasonable.

I'm being super fuckin' reasonable.

I'm the oldest. The house should've gone to me.

Well, your father left it to Paul, and Paul wants to sell it.

But maybe when we get the money, we can help you out.

We can put you through rehab again.

So you can dry out.

I'd rather dry out right fuckin' here. How about that, huh?

- Yeah. Right here. - That's... that's not an option.

What are you doing?

Where's the fuckin' deed, Lydia?

- What? What are you-- - Where's the deed to the fuckin' house?

What are you doing? Don't--

No, don't go through our stuff!

Okay, I think you need to go.

I'm not goin' anywhere, sweetheart.

Okay, well, I'm calling Paul.

Give me that.

He can't protect you. You know that.

That's why you called me the night Jacob fuckin' died.

That's not fair.

It's like you two forgot everything I fuckin' did for you.

If it wasn't for me, you two would be rottin' in fuckin' prison now.

Maybe I should give this DA bitch a call. Show her my little collection of evidence?

Huh? How about that, huh?

And you know I know how to cover up a murder.

- What do you think you're doing? - Huh?

Wh... what are you doin'?

I'm documenting. We've had some ne'er-do-wells in this neighborhood.

I gotta stay alert.

Oh no. I... I'm a writer, not a fighter. No.

Yeah. I'm, um... I'm actually thinking about buying this house.

So... Hey, buddy. How's--

Oh! Oh, okay.

Stop it!

I'm sorry. He's a little racist.

Oh. Okay.

Yeah... yeah, I don't think dogs are born racist.

Oh, he was. During Obama's second term,

I had to send him for sensitivity training.

I don't think it worked.

So you're a writer, huh?

- Yeah. I'm just finishing my second book. - It's a tough road.

Especially if you wanna buy a house like this.

Yeah. Yeah.

You ever meet Dean Koontz?

Uh... yeah...

Sorry, that's my realtor. Yeah, just gotta--

Hey, yo. Hello!

- Wait, what? - What?

At least we know your plan would've worked.

What do you think he's in for?

Well, he's not a stereotype. He's a person.

But I'd say double homicide.

If not triple.

I don't know what they were thinkin'. I told 'em. Told 'em.

Nobody puts Baby in the corner!

He's slapping his head.

He's slapping his own head.

How does anybody stay sane in this place?

I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

Tracy Gordon at Right Door Realty.

- You must really hate your brother. - I do.

But I don't. I...

It's a half-century of shit.

It's complicated.

Maybe you guys should talk it out.

Says the guy who's been avoiding his husband for a week.

Excuse me. Did I not break the silence today?

Yeah, to ask him to get us out of jail.

Uh, communication is communication.

Are there snacks? Sorry.

There's no snacks.

It's so quiet. Where's your mom?

Universal Studios.

She went back?

She got the Flex Pass, so, yeah.

Uh... You good?

I know you made an offer on that Baldwin Hills house behind my back.

Okay, I was gonna tell you. I just--

Yeah, Keith said that you offered a million dollars cash.

Like, wh... what... wh... where...

Are you playing scratchers behind my back? Where did you get that kind of money?

I have been working and saving my entire life.

- Like... - Yeah, me too. But...

Look, married couples talk about this kind of thing.

You know, usually, they make decisions together, so...

Okay, well, it's not usual to get knocked up on your fourth date

or... or get married on your sixth.

We haven't had time to even--

We still gotta be honest with each other.

- Okay. You want me to be honest? - Yeah.

I don't wanna live with your mom.

Please don't make me live with her.

Okay.

I... I was just trying to get the Los Feliz place.

I thought that was the place we wanted.

It is. It really is a dream home.

But let's just do it without her help.

Between my money and your money, we got this, right?

I mean, any time you take handouts from family,

it always ends up costing you in the end.

- Trust me. - Yeah, I respect that.

And you are about to finish your next best-selling book, right?

Almost done.

- Hopefully, best-selling. - Mm-mm. Not hopefully.

I know. I believe in you.

Oh, no.

What is your problem?

Language! Don't...

Fuck me.

Hey. Leave a message.

Hey, Mikey.

Uh... give me a call.

I, uh...

I think we should talk.

Hey.

Ooh, have I had a day.

I killed your brother.