All language subtitles for The.Hybrids.Family.2015.10hbhhjj80p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

From time immemorial,

vampires and witches
have been mortal enemies,

generation after generation,
one millennium to the next.

I am The Count.

Vampire of the highest order,

descended from a long line
of vampires

who have evolved
into the most magnificent beings

ever to inhabit the world
of the living

and... of the undead.

When my wife died,

our castle in Transylvania
became dreary and sad,

so it was that I decided

to move my son and myself
to sunny Italy,

the beautiful mountain town
of Roscigno.

The trouble all started
when the town widow witch Aradia

created the magic potion
for the benefit

of her young daughter,
Valentina.

By accident, Aradia mixed up

the wrong ingredients
in her recipe

with disastrous results.

In her phantasm,
searching for her one true love,

she encountered my son, Todor.

Led by the power of the potion,
she instantly fell in love.

And when her dream was over,

she encountered Todor
in the real world

and then their courtship began.

When Aradia and I discovered
this impossible romance,

we demanded they stop
this foolish infatuation,

one vampire and one witch,
equals one big mess.

But as young people in love
often do, they ignored us.

They eloped to France,
got married, had two children,

my only grandchildren;

the world's
first vampire-witch hybrids.

So, as you can see,
film has no future.

Maria, please present
your feature presentation

for cinematic magic.

I've decided to do
my film project

in the horror genre.

Woah, ugh...

Uh-- how you can
ever use

the words
horror and genre

in the same sentence
is beyond me.

So, if you decide to be part of Maria's "crew,"

please do so
at your own risk.

Thank you.
That's all.

Ugh, horror,
how gauche.

You call
for a ride?

No.

Oh, I think you did.

You got your ride
right here, buddy.

Right there.
Get up, punk!

Get up!

Come on!

Stay down, punk.

- You're not going anywhere.
- In your face, baby.

Get off of me!

Why you...

You little punk.

Oh, Vin, I'm sorry!

You call yourselves
henchmen?

Hey, boss,
he dropped this.

Give it.

Using this little
brat's phone,

I can find him again.

I have to.

And this time,
no more mistakes

or you'll win what's behind
curtain number one.

You're white
as a ghost, brother.

Did you have
a nightmare?

No.

Yes.

Kind of, I guess.

Meaning?

I was leaving the library
and these guys jumped me.

But you don't even have
anything worth stealing.

They weren't trying
to rob me, Valena.

They tried to force me
into a van.

- Creepy.
- You think?

Well, you got away,
Blaz.

That's all that matters.

Uh-oh.

They made me angry.

You know what happens
when I get angry.

Well, mom and dad
better not find out,

because you know what happens when they get angry.

They'll clip my wings,
literally.

Blaz, you're hurt.

I know I'm supposed
to like the sight of blood,

but not my own brother's.

Anyways, what were you
doing out so late?

I wanted to use the computer in the library.

I finally know
the college

I want to go to
for film school.

Right.

As if dad would ever
let you do that.

What if I tell him
I really love movies?

That I-- I promise
to study really hard.

He'll just say no,
so forget it.

You can be happy

living in this dusty old castle,
whatever it is,

for the rest
of eternity, Valena.

And that's totally
awesome.

But my mind
is made up.

It's time
for one of us

to finally tell mom and dad how we feel,

and I'm not afraid
to do it!

Oops.

Who is responsible for disturbing your mother and I

with all this racket?

Whew.

I'll give you
two guesses

it wasn't me.

Huh, thanks
a lot, sis.

Well, you said
you weren't afraid.

Well, whatever
it is, children,

can it wait
until tomorrow?

I made some night crawler worm tea for my insomnia.

It's starting
to kick in big time.

What's wrong, dear?

I detect
a hint of blood.

Type A.

It's Blaz.

He was attacked.

Attacked?
But where?

Near the library.

You mean our reading room downstairs.

Huh, you're bleeding,
darling.

Oh, it's not
that bad.

An appetizer at most.

Come,
I'll take care of it.

Mom, it'll be
all right.

I want to put
something on this

to keep it
from getting infected.

Maybe a little
eye of newt.

About this library business,
young man,

I have not forgotten.

A bowl of water,
Valena.

Oh, and, Valena,
a clean towel?

Is Blaz having a baby
or what?

Does it hurt
anywhere else?

I'm sore all over.

They really
knocked me around good.

Again, Blaz,
the library.

Believe it
or not, dad,

I couldn't sleep,
so I went for a little walk.

Oh, let's see...

I can choose to believe it or not,

I think not.

Anyway, two men
came out of nowhere

and tried to force me
into a van.

And you
overpowered them?

Hunters.

Or Prater or both.

We have no enemies
here!

We don't have
anyone here.

No neighbors,
no friends.

No dates,
no prom,

no slumber parties
with the girls.

No girls, period.

Being homeschooled

makes the world a very small place for us.

I knew they would come someday.

What do you mean
by "they"?

And what do "they"
want from us?

It's a very
long story.

We have time and you've got a captive audience.

It's not like we're allowed to go anywhere else.

They fear what
they do not know.

Maybe I gave
Professor Prater

a little extra
motivation.

Dear,
ixnay on the Prater.

Well.
There, good as new.

Now, off to sleep,
you two.

It's way past
your coffin time.

Um, mom,
why didn't you use your magic

to heal Blaz's wounds?

You know why,

which is why I'm terribly upset with you, Blaz.

There's no way you could've defeated two men,

unless you used
your special powers.

And you know
I forbid it.

But Blaz could
have been kidnapped.

We aren't
normal people, mom,

I don't know why
you act like this.

Don't talk back
to your mother.

Now if you
would excuse me,

I'm going to step
outside.

Make sure nobody's
lurking around the house.

Right, just like
everyone else.

It's late,
and I need my beauty rest.

Then it's settled,
Valena, we're leaving.

Mom and dad
are going to freak.

Don't you want a life
outside this place?

It's totally gross.

It'll be nice to do something I want to do

for a change.

We can go to real places,
meet real people,

sleep in real beds.

And be real teenagers,

not just the son
and daughter

of Todor the Vampire
and Valentina the Witch.

Don't forget
the grandchildren

of top dog vampire
The Count

and witch extraordinaire Aradia.

I'll finally
be able to sing.

And I can go to film school in Florida

and make movies!

As if mom and dad would ever let me do that.

Okay,
but why Florida?

All that sunshine might be bad for my complexion.

There's this girl,
Maria.

Don't tell me
you met her online.

Kind of.

So, what do you say?

Please
tell me this isn't it.

Gee, I'm sorry.

Travelling
across the country

using witchcraft
isn't exactly something

I do every day.

Well, before
we take off again,

you might want to grab your phone and check MapQuest.

Where's my phone?

Let's find
civilization.

Oh.

Look at those kids,

probably sleep 'til lunch time,
lazy bums.

Blaz, Valena,
rise and shine, darlings.

I know what you kids
are thinking;

that vampires
used to sleep all day

until the sun
went down,

but that was
the olden days.

Now, we wake up
in the morning,

look at ourselves
in the mirror

and eat garlic just like everybody else.

Blaz?

I know you can hear me.

Valena?

Are you decent?

Okay, ready or not,
here I come!

Where are they?

The hunters.

Don't be silly, woman.

The shadow is safe.

I have seen to it.

Blaz?

Valena?

"Dear mom and dad,

"we know you love us
and care about us.

"We just wish
you really knew us

"and what we want to do
with our lives.

Blaz and Valena."

I simply cannot allow this, Valentina.

Well, we didn't allow them to do anything, Todor,

that's why
they left us.

Well, don't just
stand there.

You're a witch,
do something.

Okay, uh...

Hmm.

Valena?

Valena?

What are you doing?

Trying to get
a signal.

Welcome home, sister.

Feel that warm,
tropical breeze.

It's nothing like the cold dad bareback at the chateau,

it'll have to do.

- Let's eat.
- Later.

Let's take a swim.

Later.

Now that we're here,

have you thought about where we're going to live?

Of course
I've thought about it.

I have absolutely
no idea,

but I've thought
about it.

Well, it's warm enough
to camp out tonight,

but tomorrow--

Tomorrow
is the first day

of the rest
of your life.

Uh-oh.

What's wrong?
Are you okay?

Mom is trying to reach me with telepathy.

What do I do?

Let it go
to voicemail.

No sun in a while, boss.

Now what are
we going to do?

Stop talking,
and keep looking,

and how does that
sound?

Alright, fine boss.

Vin, he said stop talking and you talked.

Man...

I have an idea.

Why don't both of you
shut up?

Okay, okay.

But, boss, can I ask
one more question?

We know
what you look like,

so why are you hiding behind the curtain?

Because I'm a compassionate man,
that's why.

I know
my hideous appearance

makes some people
uncomfortable.

You know what makes me uncomfortable?

When you buy
new underwear

and the label
keeps rubbing back

and forth through
your butt crack.

I hate that.

You know what makes me
uncomfortable is wool?

Like, this looks like a wool hat,
100 % cotton.

No it's not
the same.

It's the same.

MTI!

Boss, you mean TMI,
too much information?

My Two Idiots!

Everyone I know

is falling apart,

rotting away,

hating those who aren't suffering the same fate.

Everyone I know

is falling apart,

rotting away,

hating those who...

Rotting away,

hating those
who aren't suffering.

Rotting away,

hating those who aren't suffering the same fate.

...falling apart...

Everyone I know

is falling apart,

rotting away,

hating those--

Everyone I know

is falling apart,

rotting away,

hating those who are not suffering the same fate.

Sorry, if you need
to use the equipment,

I'm going to be
a while.

I'm cutting some of the footage from yesterday.

Oh,
no problem, Maria.

How do you know
my name?

You're not in any
of my classes.

Oh, you're joking,
right?

Uh, everyone in the film department knows who you are.

Uh-huh.

You know,
the last thing I need right now

is a stalker.

Ah, yeah.

Me too.

Alright, mystery man.

I like how you fade from the, uh,
industrial environment

uh... girl?

Zombie Bride.

Zombie Bride, right.

Um, thanks, uh...

Uh-- Blaz.

What about instead of completely fading in,

you could blend her
with the background,

making two different
images become one?

Like an unintended
connection.

Exactly,
visual surprise.

I mean, it's not
what I intended,

but... let's see.

Everyone I know
is falling apart...

Yeah, that's better.

Rotting away...

Too bad you're not
in my class.

I could really
use you on my crew.

None of those
other guys

ever give me any idea
worth anything.

Well, um, Mr. Trellis
is getting a new student

first thing tomorrow.

So, I accept.

What can I
get you, dear?

Oh, I'm not here
for lunch.

I'm here
about the job?

Are you
still looking?

You're hired!

What do you mean
she's hired?

She hasn't even filled out an application yet.

I know, I know.

We probably haven't interviewed her, either.

Exactly.

Oh, my partner
Nancy here is right.

As usual.

So, I'll interview her.

What's your name,
honey?

Valena.

Well, Valena,
you're hired!

Welcome aboard.

I'm Alice.

Don't give me any guff about this, Nancy.

Because
if I have to stand

behind this bar
another day,

I'm going to wear out this bad knee of mine kicking you in the butt.

Oh, hush up, Alice.

I'm Nancy.

Thank you so much.

When do I start?

Soon as you put
this apron on.

Hmm, Valena,
I'd never heard that name before.

I like it.

So, what's
your last name?

Um, that's it.

Just Valena.

Hmm.

Geez, Nancy,

she's one of those
artistic hippie types.

Where have you been?

In the office,
as usual, working.

Unlike some people.

I promise to do
my very best,

only...
I'm a little worried.

About?

I've never worked
in a restaurant.

Great.

Just don't quit

and I'll give you
a raise.

No, Valentina.

Just because we both have mystical abilities

doesn't mean to say
that they are equal.

Not even close.

Oh, please,
you can fly, I can't.

As far as I'm concerned,
you have it better.

I hope that
you're kidding.

Do we have to go
all the way to Italy

to ask your mother
for help?

You have always
hated my mother.

Even before our wedding.

She kept turning me
into a frog.

She was just trying
to protect me.

From what?

Ah.

She was always
anti-vampire.

Everybody
in Transylvania

knew she was a bigot.

She was not.

She doesn't have
a bigot bone in her body.

She just thought you were a little too old for me.

25 years in Italy and France is nothing.

So, how do you propose
we get there?

You can't just go poof
and be there in a flash.

Do you have any idea how long it will take a bat

to fly
all the way there?

Get real, woman.

Relax, Todor.

They have this fabulous
new invention

that will solve
your problem.

Perhaps
you've heard of it?

It's called
an airplane,

and rumor has it,
it can fly all the way to Italy.

Great.

A transatlantic flight.

What a thought.

Why can't you just
witch us both there?

Your motion sickness?

It's from hanging upside down when I was a baby.

Well, some tough vampire
you turned out to be.

Oh, don't push it.

Just admit it.

You can't stand being away from me for too long.

Well...

Right.

My love.

We've been up
and down

every street
in town, boss.

Now what do we do?

This, gentlemen,
is plan B.

Wow, does the plan B include unlimited texting?

Zip it, clowns!

Zip it.

We're going to use
young Mr. Hybrid's phone

to call his mommy
and daddy.

It's Blaz!

Oh!

Ah, Todor.

We meet again.

Is that you, Prater?

In the flesh,
mangled as it may be.

Is the lady of the house in?

I would love to talk to her.

How did you get hold
of my son's phone?

You're wasting
my time, bad boy.

Get that witch on the phone now,
or else!

So, Prater,
you've come back for seconds, huh?

Valentina.

Remove the curse,
demon sorcerers,

or you will get beat up
from the street up.

He has not
aged well with time.

What can I say?

When I put the whammy on somebody,
they say wham it.

Put me back
the way I was

or I'll swear I'll hunt down your children

and you'll wish you did this the easy way.

Alright, Professor.

You win.

I will now
reverse the curse.

Hold up the phone
with your right hand.

Close your eyes,

take a deep breath

and one, two, three.

Boss, nothing happened!

Be stupid
on your own time.

I'm on a sacred mission.

And while you two continue to be dimwits,

I noticed luggage
by the door.

Valentina and Todor
are leaving town.

But would they leave
their children alone?

Unlikely.

Hey, boss,
should I call a tow truck?

Maybe
an exterminator.

Either of you gentlemen have any brains?

You know, boss?
Anyone ever tell you words hurt?

Somebody looks like they're in a good mood.

I got a job
on my first try.

I'll just be working at a local pub,
but it's a start.

That's great!

I sent up a late admission to school.

I'll begin attending
classes tomorrow.

Congrats, brother!

Only, don't they require some kind of form from your last school?

I told them
it was in the mail.

You know
how snail mail is.

Undependable.

Exactly.

At least I'll have some time to figure something out.

Speaking of figuring
something out,

we need a place
to live.

You can always
sleep in a cave,

you know,
turn to a bat

and hang from the ceiling by your claws.

And leave you
alone, sis?

That wouldn't be
very nice of me.

Don't worry.

I have an idea.

This is it.

Isn't it cute?

Excuse me,
have you heard of a mortgage or money?

We can't buy a house.
Are you crazy?

Will you
please trust me?

I trust you.

Minimalist.

I like it.

A couple
of sleeping bags,

it'll be just
like the castle,

minus the candles
and coffins.

What do you think?

You mean,
aside from thinking you've lost your mind?

It's cool.

So what?
We can't live here.

People will be here all the time looking at the place.

Yes, we can.

Listen and learn.

I'm going to be
working all day,

and the pub has open mic twice a week.

So, I'm going to ask my bosses if I can sing.

You're in school
all day

and you know you like to stay out late.

And?

Nobody looks
at a house at night.

We'll have it all
to ourselves.

Until the house sells,
we can sleep here,

shower here,
cook here.

That's insane...

but brilliant.

It's just temporary,
until I can earn some money.

Getting
the hang of things?

Slowly but surely.

I'd be
a whole lot faster

if I knew the difference
between a lager

and stout easy foam.

I'm hip to that.

Did you just say
you're hip?

First of all,
nobody says that anymore.

And secondly,
at your age,

the only thing hip
about you

is the one hip
you haven't broken yet.

No worries, Valena.

As long as you get it
down by happy hour.

Oh, that is beautiful!

So delicate.

I've never seen
anything like it.

Thank you.

It's family heirloom.

Alexander the Great
gave it to my grandmother.

Uh-huh, and I suppose

your grandmother's
a thousand years old.

Yes, but she looks great
for her age.

Can I get a beer?

Valentina!

Mother!

However did you know
it was me?

What kind of a witch
would I be

if I could not tell

when my own daughter
is approaching?

Todor, you look green
under the wheat.

Ah, thank you, mom.

In-law.
Mom-in-law.

You've had a long journey,
come rest.

Oh, you've completely
redone this room.

It's absolutely
breath-taking.

Not just the room;
the entire villa.

Every couple
of hundred years,

I like to shake
things up a bit.

But you did not come
all this way

to admire my flare
for interior decorating.

Tell her already.

I don't want to drag this out
longer than is necessary.

What is
your hurry, Todor?

You're immortal,
sit down.

Be quiet.

Mother, the children
have run away.

I've tried to call Velana
mine-to-mine

but she's not answering me.

I told you this one was not going to be a good father,

flying around all night
with his bat buddies

leaving you alone
in your coffin.

You call that a marriage?

It's not Todor's fault.

Not entirely.

Hey!

We were too overprotective of the kids.

You know,
they just wanted to be normal teenagers,

but how do you explain
that vampires and witches

can't be like
everyone else?

And you have no idea
where they are?

Not a clue.

We need your help,
mother.

They could be in danger.

In danger?

My grandchildren?

That is not going
to happen.

Somebody from my past,

a professor who hunts
vampires and witches,

has been tracking us.

Blaz was almost caught.

Please, Aradia,
we need your help.

Did Todor just ask
for my help,

or is this wine stronger
than I think?

Okay, guys.

I want to shoot this
in about two minutes,

so let's make sure none of these cables are visible.

Make up, last looks.

Oh, um... Blaz,

why don't you go see
if camera needs any help?

Sure.

You must be Lance.

I saw some of your work
yesterday.

Great stuff.

Blaz.

Yeah.

Maria told me about you.

New kid in town.

Wants to be
a big director.

So, you're shooting film,
not on video?

Old school, cool.

Anything worth shooting
is worth shooting on film.

I see you two have met.

Yeah, we sure did.

Lance looks like
he's got it covered, so...

I'll just tag along
with you.

Cool.

I was just about to rehearse
some of the actors.

Okay, everybody,
this is what I need from the master shot.

So, our zombie couple
is trying to escape

from our angry zombie mob,

so they head toward
the factory doors

while all the others
are in pursuit.

Questions?

Nope.

Okay then.

Um, hang out here.

We'll be ready for you
in a few minutes.

Actually,
I have a question.

You wrote the Zombie Lover script, right?

Right.

I know it's late
in the process

and... I don't want you
to get mad, but uh,

I think you're missing
the chance

to do something
really special here.

I'm listening.

Your film is about two zombies who fall in love

but want to live
like regular people,

and the other zombies
hate them for it.

Exactly.

Don't you see what the problem with that is?

Two zombies want to be
together is boring.

What is the conflict?

They have
all the same problems,

all the same challenges?

So, you've been in film school for what,
two hours,

and you have a better idea?

What if a guy
who's a zombie

falls in love
with a regular girl,

they live in two completely
different worlds,

one is
a terrifying creature

and the other
a beautiful angel.

It's like a classic theme
of love-conquers-all.

That's so weird, Blaz.

And so unexpected.

Can you imagine
people wanting to see

that couple win
and stay together?

Like a modern
horror fairytale.

But no, it would require
a major rewrite.

If you talk, I'll type.

You really think
a girl like me

can fall in love
with a monster?

I sure hope so.

And one last thought:

shouldn't some of this be
shot at night?

Lights.

Flag on the play, people.

I'm not feeling this.

Back tomorrow with new pages.

And, Lance,
we're going to need bigger lights.

More lights, cool.

Thank you.

May I help--?

Good lord.

Good day, madam.

I'm a detective

for the Granite Falls
Public School District,

and I'm hoping you can help me find a student.

I'll do my best.

May I see some sort
of identification, please?

Oh, I'm afraid not.

You see,
when I'm working undercover,

I never carry a badge.

We've had this youngster
under surveillance.

Recognize him?

Yes.

What's he done?

He's suspected of violating
code Section 603.841,

A through E.

Is that serious?

You ask a lot
of questions, lady.

Do you know
who he is or not?

He's not a student here.

He just came in
to use the computers.

Which computer was he using
the last time you saw him?

It...
that one over there.

Thank you.

You were very cooperative.

Palm Tree City, Florida.

Alright, let's give it up
for Hermie and his congas!

Good evening, everyone,
and welcome to Open Mic Night.

Ya'll enjoying the browns?

Yes!

Ready to hear
some groovy sounds?

Nobody says
groovy anymore.

Well, I do, so can it.

Alright,
let's put our hands together

for the hilarious
Matt Harding!

Thank you, boys and girls.

One more time for your host,
Alice, tonight, huh?

Nice place we got here
to do Open Mic Night.

Yeah,
we're having a lot of fun.

I got here tonight
and "Mr. Harding,

"can I get you
something to drink?

"And can I get you a menu,
Mr. Harding?

Do you need some place
to sit, Mr. Harding?"

Awful nice here,
and my name said like that, "No,"

and I didn't have to answer
with "Yes, your honor.

I understand the charges
against me."

My doctor's like,
"You got to get your heart rate up."

And I said,
"Well, how about running?

You want to try running?"

I said, "Doc, I do run."

"When was the last time
you ran?"

I said, "I ran last night."

"Well, how far did you get?"

I said, "I stopped as soon
as the ice cream truck did."

He looks so comfortable
on-stage.

Well, he should.

He performs here
every Open Mic Night.

Nice to be
in this little club tonight.

You all having a drink?

Was he nervous
the first time?

I'll let you in
on a little secret:

they all are.

Some of the biggest stars

never get over
their stage fright,

but if you have faith
in yourself

and your talent,

the audience
will want to like you.

I'll remember that.

Anything?

Yes, I'm getting
something now.

A ginormous headache.

When Valena comes home,

I'm going to ground her
for a year.

That's precisely
the kind of thing

that'll keep her from ever
coming home, Todor.

Valentina,
look what I found.

Your first broom.

You remember
you learned how to buzz

around the room
in this, eh?

Such sweet memories.

Come on, let's go!

Time is of the essence.

Get your feet
off my furniture.

The answer to all your questions is right here.

Princess Sophia...

Do you name
all your balls?

Just this one.

Princess has never
let me down before.

What do you see,
mother?

Where are Blaz
and Valena?

Have the hunters
found them?

Are they alright?

Woah, my darling.

You must give the princess
time to warm up.

She'd been in my closet
for many years.

I'm not sure
about this thing.

I've seen
gypsy fortune tellers

at the carnival
using those.

Yes, and I have seen
Bela Lugosi up-close,

but that does not make him
a real vampire.

So take a chill pill,
blood sucker.

Sorry, I won't say
another word.

Huh,
that'll be a first.

Valentina,
what is it exactly

that you want me to say?

Be very specific.

Where are Blaz and Valena?

Well, I am sensing
Valena's essence

but there is
static interference

almost as if she is able
to block my vision of her.

We strictly
forbid the children

from using
any of their powers.

Yes, and how is that
working out for you?

Mother, is she okay?

I get the impression
that she is.

After all,
she's strong enough

to be able to focus
her energy

so that I cannot see her.

Valena must be
very strong, indeed.

Can you tell us
anything else?

She is surrounded
by people.

Not the setting one would imagine for a kidnapping.

I do not see Blaz
in the area.

Can you see him at all?

This is not
a flat screen TV!

There is no picture
in a picture.

But wherever Valena is,

it is warm and there's water nearby.

Well, that describes
half the planet, mother.

Well, it narrows
it down a little bit.

Ma Yes, I had a great time.

Thanks for your fun.
Love it.

Thank you so much.
I appreciate it.

You're a great writer,
Maria,

and you work really fast.

Oh, it's like when I know

what the characters
are feeling

and I know what
their journey should be,

it just flows.

Not to mention I had help.

If we can reshoot
a bunch of scenes tomorrow

and cut them in,

we'll prove
Mr. Trellis is wrong.

How cool is that?

Very.

Why are we stopping?

This is where
my sister works.

Come on,
I'll introduce you.

What's good
on the menu?

Hey!

Well, the fish
won't kill you.

Talk about a catch.

Um, this is my classmate,
um, new friend,

director of a student film

that I'm working on
that's going to be a huge hit.

I don't know if I can live up to that introduction.

Alright,
who do we have up next?

This is Maria.

Hi.
Nice to meet you.

Hi, I'm--

Valena!

Valena?

Valena.

Alright!

That's me.

Come on!

You didn't tell me

your sister
was performing tonight.

Ah, and to be honest
I didn't know

she was performing
tonight either.

Hi.

Wow, um, I've never done
anything like this before

unless, uh, singing
in the shower counts,

and I've always
wanted to try it,

so here I am.

Woo!

Go for it, Valena!

That's my brother,
ignore him.

Are you going to recite
the Gettysburg Address or sing?

Come on, we want Valena!

We want Valena!

We want Valena!
We want Valena!

* Shadows and light

* Are all I see

* Reflecting my face

* Mistaking me

* How can I be

* The air that you breathe

* Why is my dream

* Forsaking me

* Shadows and light

* My mystery

Good, good.

* Reflecting your face

* Mistaking me

* How can you see

* It's only me

* Why is my dream

* Forsaking me *

Wow!

Great!

I'd never do...

Neither did I.

I loved it.

So did everyone else.

Thank you.

I know we just met,
Valena,

and I don't mean
to be pushy,

but there's a character
in my film who sings...

And I mean,
I was just going to do it myself

but now
that I heard you sing,

how about it,
Mr. Co-producer?

I'm with you 1000 %.

What do you think,
Valena?

Do you really want me
to sing in your movie?

- Really?
- Yeah, really.

More than really.

How awesome
would that be, sis?

Both of us working
in the same film?

A couple of days ago,

stuck in a castle
sleeping in stuffy old...

Beds?

Exactly.

Let's cheer, bro.

Let's do it!

That was awkward.

Hey, boss,
how much further?

Do you mean,
how much further it is to Palm Tree City

or how much further it is

before you ask me
how much further it is again?

I-I just got to know
I'm going to stop.

I got to go so bad.

Tough.

I warned you about drinking that 64 oz root beer slushie.

The old bladder
buster, huh?

Yup, you warned him, boss.

When we reach
the highway junction,

you can pull over.

That should only be
about another 150 mi.

So, we want to see
the chemistry between you two.

Ignore outward appearance

and just speak directly
to each other's hearts.

Okay?

Alright, let's shoot!

Time to find out
if we're crazy

or if this is really
going to work.

It's going to work.

It better.
My butt is on the line.

I'd bet on your butt
any day.

Roll sound!

Roll camera!

Camera speed.

Scene 23, take 1.

And... action!

It doesn't matter
what we feel,

how much we want
each other.

What about everyone
else in our lives?

Everyone I know
is falling apart,

rotting away,

hating those who are not
suffering the same fate.

Do you really think they care about our happiness?

But I have a family.

It's selfish of me
to think only of myself.

To know that
I've fallen in love with...

A monster?

Say it, Alicia.

It's what I am but...

not what I want to be,
and not my choice.

Please don't do that.

You're not a monster.

This is going to be
awesome.

And cut!

Yes?

Well, we can fix
the voice in post.

That was great.

All I can think about
is that kiss.

I felt it.

Everyone will.

Seeing that,

it almost makes me think
it could really happen.

It can, Maria.

At least I hope so.

What do you think?

I'm wearing this wig
to double Friv Alana

until she gets here.

That's a relief.

I thought you made a hat
out of a dead muskrat.

Are you sure
you don't want to come in?

Valena will be here soon.

I-I would,

but I'm so wiped out
from the shoot today.

Where do you get
your energy?

Superhuman powers?

Something like that.

Yeah.

Anyway,
I'll see you tomorrow.

See you.

And Maria...
um, do me a favor.

Sure, what is it?

Don't fall in love with any monsters on your way home.

I'll try not to.

Hey, Blaz!

Why is there a For Sale sign on your lawn?

You guys just got here.

We just moved in,

so I guess
the real estate agent

forgot to take it.

Say hi to Valena for me.

There is one more thing we might try.

Of course
that it will require

intense laser focus
concentration from Todor,

if you're man enough
to risk it.

What do you mean
"risk it"?

Whatever it is,
he'll do it.

Valentina, bring me
that book from the shelf.

That great big one.

Oh!

Dusty.

Question,

over your special
powers, Aradia,

can you not just
wave a wand

and make
all this dust disappear,

or at least make
a housekeeper appear?

Quiet, fang!

My stable could use
a new donkey

and you're already
halfway there.

Where are we,
where are we...

Ah, vacation,
vaccine, vagrant...

Here we are, vampire.

"List of unique abilities:

Hmm...

transformation
into chiroptera species."

Bats.

Duh.

Yes, but what are you
looking for, mother?

Immortality,
yes, unfortunately.

Here we go,
dematerialization.

Todor can dematerialize,

transport his molecules
to another location

and reassemble them
in his present form.

All these years
and I never knew that.

If we had to make a list
of things you don't know,

I would say
get very comfortable

because you're going
to be here a long time.

But mother,
you said it's risky.

Todor might be
materialized,

then they contract
in a dimension

where he cannot reassemble
his molecules.

He might be lost forever.

But we have to find
Blaz and Valena.

I don't see I have much of a choice.

Bravo, Todor.

I will talk you through it
and I will do my level best

to send you
to where your children,

my grandchildren, are.

And if something
should go wrong...

Yes?

Yes?

It was nice knowing you,
kind of.

Mom!

Dad?

Blaz.

This isn't happening.

Blaz, I'm trying
to reach you.

How did you find me?

My blood
is your blood.

When I see through
existence of being,

the essence of my spirit
seeks its own kind,

which is you and Valena.

What do you want?

You must come home, son.

This world of commoners
is a treacherous place.

This is where
we want to be, dad.

You can't make us leave.

Come to me, son.

You forget, dad.

I'm a hybrid.

A fusion of both
vampire and witch,

a mutation
of both powers

emerged to create
a supreme power.

I am your father.

Obey me!

And I am your son,
Todor,

I shouldn't have
to simply obey!

What's wrong with you?

You're never going
to believe what happened.

Something is wrong.

I know it.

He's back.

Todor!

Sweetheart!

Wow, you need to shower.

I reappeared
in a ghastly pig farm.

Still awoke, Aradia.

What of Blaz?

I saw him,
I think, sort of.

And why didn't
you bring him back with you?

And what about Valena?

Is Blaz alright?

From what I could see.

I need to go
to my children, Todor.

Where are they?

I wasn't there long enough to get my bearings.

You mean you went
through all of that

and you don't come back
with your son, hmm?

Or any useful
information?

He fought me,
but I was no match for him.

He was way too strong.

I tried, okay?

How is that possible?

Because I married you

and we brought hybrids
into this world.

Uh!

I beg
your pardon.

Don't you know
how to knock?

That's right,
Trellis.

Keep yacking while your mouth still works.

What are you doing?

My job!

I'm Special Agent Kurdle,

joint task force
for investigation

and enforcement
of obscure crimes,

miscellaneous offenses
and other infractions

perpetrated by unknown

but highly dangerous
individuals.

Wait,
can I see that again?

I'm-- I'm afraid not,
Trellis.

It's classified.

Now then, I need to locate
one of your students.

He calls himself Blaz.

Last name?

The real pros
don't use last names.

It's so easy to trace.

Now, where can I find
Mr. Blaz?

Mr. Bla--

Ah, he's assigned

to a rather disappointing
film project

and, uh, today,
they're shooting...

Concrete factory.

It's a hideous,
dirty place.

Exactly
as I anticipated.

Alright, men, we're going
to activate plan 89

and head
for the hideous place.

Plan 89, really?

- Plan 89, boss?
- Yes.

Plan 89.

And if you continue
to cooperate,

you'll never have to know
what that means, okay?

Got it.

Finally.

Cliché.

Hey, boss,
what's plan 89?

Yeah,
what is it, boss?

Your combined IQs.

Mother, how can you eat at a time like this?

That's easy.
It's dinner time.

Aradia, do you
not get it?

Our children don't want us to know where they are.

They could be in grave danger
and we cannot reach them.

Half-vampire
and half-witches

are a formidable
combination.

And we never even
taught them

how to use the powers
they inherited.

We forbid
that they even try.

Exactly.

And when was the last time

that children listened
to their parents, hmm?

When your father and I
forbade you two to marry,

did you listen, Todor?

Did you, Valentina?

Well, we proved
you wrong.

Vampires and witches
can live under one roof

and have
very strong children.

Too strong, it seems.

Exactly.

Todor, that is the key.

What is?

If you want to find
Blaz and Valena,

you must fight
fire with fire.

Meaning?

Bring together
the most powerful vampire

and the most artful witch
cannot lose.

It is time for me
to summon The Count.

Oh, no.

You cannot be serious.

Oh, no?

Watch me.

I can't.

Hear me, Count,
and listen well.

Crisis requires
your presence.

You must intervene on behalf
of your grandchildren

and your son, Todor.

You must exert your mastery
over all things

on behalf of my grandchildren
and my daughter, Valentina.

You will not resist
this urgent plea.

I, Aradia,
command you to appear!

Well,
at least you tried.

Shhh.

Wait for it.

Such a piece of prosciutto
with a big entry.

Count... please.

This had
better be important.

I was really enjoying
my three-month nap.

New casket, hand-carved,
French sycamore, silk line,

with one of those
new memory foam pillows.

Oh.

Todor, what are you
doing here?

Slumming?

Not exactly thrilled
to see you either, Count,

but this is not
about us.

If I thought it was
about you,

I would never have come.

I avoid witches
like the plague,

although the plague
cannot hurt a vampire.

Blaz and Valena
have run away.

So?
Bring them home.

Well, we can't
really find them.

Poppycock!

My son, Todor,
is a vampire,

descended of a long line
of great vampires.

As I say, there is the best
and then there is the rest.

They are not
children anymore, father.

They are clever

and very determined
not to be found.

And we've
tried everything.

Telepathic communication,
dematerialization,

and molecular projection.

I mean, mother
even tried second sight

with her crystal ball.

Nothing.

Crystal ball?

What happened?

Did you lose
your tarot cards?

I know what we will do.

We will order Chinese food

and find the children
with the fortune cookies.

Are you finished?

Because they may
actually be in jeopardy.

Please help us.

Do not worry,

but this will take effort
and cooperation.

Well, whatever you need,
Count, please.

Clear the table, please.

What else can I do?

You can do as you're told for once in your life?

As for you, go bring
the crystal ball.

Cooperation.

The Count
needs my assistance.

Just the opposite.

You are the one who needs my assistance.

I will bring
this hunk of glass

into the modern
millennium.

What do you use
that for?

Out with the old,
in with the new!

We go... online!

Fantastic.

I can see
so much clearer.

There is no interference.

Now, if you had TiVo
on that thing,

you could watch it
again later

as your visions form.

My device will compare
all known territories.

I see the essence
of Valena.

Oh, we can zero in
on that.

Don't lose
your connection.

That is her energy,
no doubt.

Todor, is that
where you were?

Yes, I think so.

Ah!

It's in United States,
Florida,

in a place called
Palm Tree City.

Come, Todor,
we must leave now.

This dress isn't right
for Florida.

I'll change on the way.

I will establish a beam
for you to follow.

Oh, god.

But this was
the right place.

Both of them
were sure.

Perhaps we're too late.

Valena's
been here.

Valena's necklace.

Where are they?

To come so far
and be so close...

Hmm...

What do you have there?

An old factory
by the lake.

Good job, love.

Hmm.

Okay, let's move the bed
over here

to get ready
for the dream sequence.

I think it's going
to look great

with the factory
in the background.

I wore this wig
to stand in for you

in an earlier scene,
Valena.

We're going to shoot
your song next.

I feel like
I'm going to throw up.

Aww, sis, relax.

You sing half as good
as the other night,

you're going to be great.

Maria, we're ready,

want to check the frame
of the shot?

I'll be back.

This is really cool.

Uh-huh.

Oh-oh.

Blaz, Valena!

Mom, dad,
what are you doing here?

- How did you...?
- Nevermind how.

The thing is,
we are here.

And you're both alright,
that's all that matters.

It's not
all that matters.

They took off

without telling anybody
where they were going.

Do they even realize
what they put us through?

Do you realize
what you put us through?

Do you realize
what kind of life

you were forcing us
to live?

No friends, no fun,

seeing everyone else
our own age in town

doing all the things
every other kid does.

And not being allowed
to do them.

I'm your son.

I shouldn't have to run away
to go to a school

to be something
I want to be.

I'm happy that you've experienced all of this.

I mean it.

But now it's time
for you to come home.

No, dad.

But it is time for you
to go home.

Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm making a movie.

Aradia, Aradia, Aradia.

Hello, mother.

Well,
we found the children.

Getting them home

is going to be a whole
'nother thing.

Two hybrids coming up.

Shut it!

Yes!

Yes.

They are with Blaz
and Valena right now.

Then my work is done.

Sorry to tell you,
I must be going.

Wait, wait, Count.

A toast to a fruitful
collaboration

between a witch
and a vampire.

You know, Aradia,

if you had told me
200 years ago

that we would be here
together like this

and not
at each other's throats,

I would not have
believed you.

Neither would I.

And yet, here we are.

Here we are.

I'll start the scene

with a beautiful
wide shot here.

Hey, Lance, uh,
didn't Maria come over here with you?

She was here
a minute ago.

She couldn't
have gone too far

because we're
about to shoot.

I'm working on singing
a couple of nights a week.

You never said anything to me about wanting to sing.

You weren't
listening, mother.

Maria's gone!

- What?
- What?

But we were just
about to--

She disappeared
in a red van.

The hunters who tried to take me back in Granite Falls

was driving
the same kind of van.

Are you sure
it was them?

I have to find her.

Dad, can you help me?

Two of us can cover
twice as much ground.

Go!

What do you want
from me, freak?

Technically,
nothing.

Thanks to that ugly wig,

we thought
you were Valena.

As for that freak remark,

ugh, that sort of
hurts my feelings.

Oh, boss, I think
she looks real nice.

Oh, well...

Then you wear it.

Holy smokes,
you look like my auntie Rose.

I'm only going
to ask you once.

Where do Blaz
and Valena live?

I don't know.

You're pushing
your luck, dearie.

Where do Blaz
and Valena stay?

I thought you were only
going to ask me once.

The next hair you lose,
will be real...

and painful.

Unless you want to look
like my pal Vinnie here,

you'll tell me.

Bravo,
bravo, bravo.

Aww, you sing
and you can cook!

This is wonderful

and I'm so tired
from all of that conjuring.

My dear,
I have been cooking for centuries.

And do you also sing
around your home?

I do.

But you know,
I live in an old palazzo with stone walls.

My voice reverberates

and I can have no one there

because no one
can know who I am.

Of course not.

But it is still wonderful.

Who needs a radio
when you are around?

Here, some more wine.

Mille grazie.

You are on your best behavior tonight, Count.

You are drinking wine.

You have put garlic
on the bruschetta.

Yes?

These things are repulsive to vampires.

You've been watching too many old movies,
my dear.

That is long ago.

As a matter of fact,

these are two
of my favorite things.

Well, a toast
to old acquaintances

who are becoming new
to one another.

Count, when you say 'old'

do you mean that we are old

or that we have known
each other a long time?

Centuries come
and centuries go,

but you never change.

Witchcraft agrees
with you, my dear.

You have not spoken of her,

but I know that your wife
was a wonderful woman.

Her good deeds
are legendary.

It has been difficult
to find someone

who can fill up
my heart again.

And you?

As you know,
my husband also was mortal.

He stayed with me
as long as he could.

But I feel the same pain.

At least tonight...

we don't have to be
lonely.

"For sale"?

That's odd.

That's odd?

You're odd.

And I'm sure
the door is locked.

Oh, not to worry.

Tug has a very special key
in his shoe.

Yes I do, boss.

Let's go, honey.

Go.
I'll get that for you.

After you!

Ah!

Hey, boss,

it sure was a smart idea
bringing her back here.

I mean,
those two hybrids,

they're bound
to come back some time.

Hybrids?

It's not only smart,
Vincent,

it's sheer genius.

This is the last place
that Blaz and Valena

would expect us
to hold her hostage.

Wh-what are hybrids?

Not what.
Who.

Your two BFFs are not
what they seem.

You see,
they are a spawn

of two--
other worldly beasts.

You see,
daddy's a vampire

and mommy dearest
is a witch.

And not just on Halloween!

You're crazy.

No, just hungry.

I missed breakfast

and you know they say

that's the most important
meal of the day.

Let's go see what the hybrids have in the kitchen.

Alright, breakfast.

No sign
of a red van, son.

It's my fault
that Maria's in danger.

We can't give up now.

So tell me
about the singing.

I've only done it in front of people a couple of times.

At a restaurant,
my friend zone,

but that's
what I want to do.

Blaz's friend, Maria,
heard me the other night

and she asked me
to be in her movie,

that's why I'm here.

That's great!

Well, it sounds like
your brother and you

have made lots of friends.

We're catching up
for lost time.

Don't hate
your father and me

for wanting
to protect you two.

Blaz was almost kidnapped,

and that should
prove to you

that there's some people
in the natural world that...

Well, they don't
understand us, honey.

And they fear us.

Mom, you'll have
to trust us someday.

Bl-Bl-Bl-- Blaz?

Shhh.

Okay, we'll get you
out of here.

Hurry!

This is going to be
a little weird, Maria.

So it's true.

You're a hybrid.

A hybrid?

You mean like a car that runs on gas and electricity?

I'll explain later,
let's go.

We'll go-- go where?
We're-- we're trapped.

They're right inside.

I know a shortcut.

You'll have to trust me.

I trust you.

Of course I trust you;
you came for me.

Okay.

Now, don't let go.

I won't.

The answer is yes.

A girl like me
can fall for a monster,

especially when he's not
a monster at all.

Hey, boss,
what are you doing there?

Yeah, boss,
what are you doing?

While you fools continue
to be fools, I--

I'm planning my life
after I capture my hybrids.

Hey, boss,
do we feed the girl?

Yeah, I'll give her
the potato chips.

No! Put those down.
Those are mine.

Okay.

Get in there!

- Uh-oh.
- Oh, boy.

Boss ain't going
to be happy.

Are you going
to tell him?

I'm not telling,
you tell him.

I'm not telling him.

Tell me what?

She's kind of gone.

Doesn't matter.

She's not the one
we want.

This time, it's either
Blaz or Valena, or--

both!

And I know exactly
where they are.

Funny, Blaz,
the one who kicked your butt.

Yeah, well,
he don't fight fair.

Maria, it's going
to be dark in 30.

We can shoot.

I think
with Valena singing

and helping you make
this film,

our parents will see
we belong here.

Now, I understand
how complicated this all is.

You know, I'm not sure
this whole day

isn't just
some weird dream,

but I'm going with it.

I have a film to finish.

Oh, no.

Mr. Downer.

Mr. Trellis,
what are you doing here?

Consider this
a pop quiz, Maria.

Your grade in my course

is not entirely based
on your finished film.

I like to see how
my directors work

with their crew
and "actors."

Sir, she's doing
an amazing job.

Oh, I'll be the judge
of that.

Go on, back to normal.

You're back!

Good job, son.

Blaz, why don't you
introduce us

to your new friend?

She's more
than a friend, mom.

She's also the director
of the film

I'm making here today.

Oh!

Hi.

Friend?

Dad,
this is Maria.

Ah, Maria.

A pleasure.

Well, I think
it's very impressive

what you kids are doing.

But I've seen enough.

It's time for us
to go back

to our own home,
our own lives.

They say that vampires

are the most romantic creatures on Earth,

and now I know it
to be true.

You know,

they say when a witch
puts a spell on you,

there is no escape.

But I can tell you,

you will never need
a spell.

Why did we not do this
100 years ago?

I don't know.

I know
we are doing it now.

What?

I'm getting a message
from Valentina.

Trouble... your son.

I knew it.

We're tired
of the cold castle

and our boring lives!

For the first time,
we feel alive!

And you will
live for centuries.

But there are rules.

And sometimes,
the rules must be broken.

What are you doing here?

This is my family.

Todor, my dear son.

In my life,
I have made many mistakes.

I had many
preconceived notions,

especially my objection
to your marriage.

But times are changing,
even for the timeless.

Don't make my mistakes
with your children.

Let them have a chance.

See what they can do.

Let them make their movie.

Alright, children.

Action!

Let go of me!
Let go of me!

Todor!
Valentina!

Remember me?

If I could forget
a face like yours, Prater,

believe me I would.

What do you want
from us?

Yes, Prater, what is it that
you want from my family?

I want you, Valentina,

to remove the curse
you cast on me

and give me back the life
you stole from me, now!

I've got a better idea.

Why don't I click
my fingers together

and grind you to dust
in a very gruesome way?

Back off, Todor!

You will do as I say
or I promise you

I will never stop
hunting you

or your dear
little children

until my demands are met.

Day and night, for weeks,
for months, for years

you will never have
a moment's peace.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, excuse me.

I beg your pardon,
excuse me, but OMG,

where did you develop
your acting skills?

You are incredible.

Oh, really?

Don't be modest.

I have seen
thousands of villains

throughout the years,

and you are spectacular.

I mean, that monologue
you just performed?

I mean, the--

how you will curse today
forever is the--

is, ugh--

I can see
the vulnerabity

and yet--
yet the-- the--

the need for love
and attention.

It's all there, ugh.

I did do a few shows
in high school

and got some decent
reviews.

Yeah, you did.

Maria, when I am wrong,
I admit it.

And when you first said

you wanted to do
a horror film,

I kind of wanted you
to fall flat on your face.

But this is ingenious.

Casting a real cop
to play the bad guy?

Bravo, huh?

Who's your agent?

Do you know what?

Have you ever considered
doing dinner theater?

Mr. Trellis,
what are you doing?

This creep came here
to kidnap me and my sister,

and now he wants
to ruin Maria's movie.

Do you really think
I have what it takes?

You know,

I much prefer
to ride around in a limo

than that dirty
old stinking van.

Yeah, you do.

This is the most important day of your life, Professor.

You can go after something
you really want

or something you really
do not want at all.

Decisions, decisions.

I'll do it!

We should have lunch
next week.

I have a lot of contacts
in Hollywood.

They would love your look,
and the thrill...

What just happened?

Alright, everybody.

Let's shoot this.

Um... make up, no changes,

leave the creepy guy
just as he is.

Here we are,
last scene.

There's something
I've been wanting to say

for a long time, Blaz.

Yes?

And action!

That's it.

We're done.

Congratulations.

I want you to know

I couldn't have done this
without you, Blaz.

I hate to tell you

but you almost couldn't get it done with me.

Anyway, I have one
last surprise for you.

Oh, no.

Have I had enough of your surprises,
Mr. Hybrid?

Just one more,

I promise
you'll really love it.

Okay, what are we doing?

Oh, we're just going
to my grandmother's house.

In Italy?

No way!

It's 5,000 mi away,

but we'll be there
in a couple seconds

and you don't even need
your passport.

* Shadows and light

* Are all I see

* Reflecting my face *

I have a good heart.

A true heart,
but it's a dead heart.

There are
the living

who are far less alive
than you.

They hide it.

In this world,
I will guide you.

I will protect you

and I will be there
when you need me.

You'll do this for me?

Yes.

And maybe someday,

you will let me
into your heart.

And on that day,

you will look
into my eyes

and not see a monster

but another
beating heart...

as yours.

What do you know
about this film business?

Only a little.

Well, it seems to me

these kids have made
a good flick.

A witch
and a vampire.

How could they miss?

From the beginning
of time,

we have always spoken

about the way
things ought to be;

that vampires should remain
with their own,

while witches must keep
to their caverns.

But tonight,

when I look upon
my own grandchildren,

hybrids born
to a mother and father

who were never meant to know
one another,

I see the folly in our past.

Now I know

family is the greatest fortune
a person can have.

And tonight,

my son, Todor, has discovered
that his riches can be found

in the hearts
of his own children

who have found happiness
in pursuit of their own dreams.