All language subtitles for Shameless (US) S01E02 Frank the Plank.eng

What are you looking at?

This is what you missed
last week on Shameless:

I'm hereto help Karen‘

-Take your shoes off.
KAREN: She's got this thing...

..‘about people bringing dirt
in the house. Melissomophobia.

-Ah.
-Science just turns me on.

-I'm not looking.
-All right if I leave my number?

I thought we tell each other everything.
You're fucking him?

What are you hiding for? Sweet Jesus.

[KAREN SCREAMS]

You're your own worst enemy, you two.
Insane,

And you prefer a guy who's been around
the block. Wait outside while I pay.

STEVE [OVER PHONE]:
The cars lsell are mainly, uh, not mine.

-Looking for fun, Fiona?
FRANK: Kev and Veronica...

...fantastic neighbors.

How's a guy supposed to work,
hurt, with kids?

-Hello? Thank you. I like him.
-Yeah.

Fucking-- Fuck.

It's good. Yeah, I got it. There you go.

All right. All right, listen up, everybody.
Tommy from upstairs...

...shelled out for the, uh,
pay-per-view here.

And the cable.

Hey, hey. A hundred forty-nine fifty
on my goddamn Visa...

...so pay up, you cheap bastards.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Right in here, guys. Right in here.

Billy. Drink?

-Have one. Come on.
-Mm-mm.

-Burgers coming through.
-Uh, Lip. Napkins.

KAREN: I can get it.
-No, no, no. You sit.

-Only ketchup.
-Me. Me.

-Extra onions, jalapenos.
VERONICA: Me.

Thank you. Make room.

Uh-uh-uh.

After you finish your shake and fries.
Who's this?

LIP: This is Karen.
-Hey, Karen. Nice top.

NARRATOR [ON TV]:
--on the spot called Mr. Magoo...

...the sacred family fishing grounds
that paid off last season.

But now...

...it’s a bust.

MAN [ON TV]:
We got no crab onboard.

I heard, "Don't go to Magoo,
because there's hundreds there.... "

[ALL CHEERING]

MAN 1: Yeah.
MAN 2: Yeah.

Come on!

MAN 3:
What is this? What is this guy...?

-Hey, bub? Hey.
MAN 3: Come on!

MAN 4: Get up, man. Get the guy.
-Oh.

Better door than window.

Gallagher.

[GRUNTS]

Tell your boy Ian to keep his dirty
adolescent prick out of my Karen.

COMMENTATOR [ON TV]:
And his score is now....

MAN 1:
Get up, man. Get the guy.

MAN 2:
Come on!

MAN 3:
Yeah!

MAN 4:
Finish him!

Why don't you just let him
off the hook?

MAN 1:
We've been fishing for 36 hours...

...and haven't made a dime yet.

MAN 2: We're getting like 150 crabs
and only 7 kilos a pot.

-You okay, Frank?
IAN: Hey.

NARRATOR:
It's not worth sifting through the junk.

IAN:
That my shirt?

-Yeah.
NARRATOR: The crew decides...

-...to rail-dump the crabs.
-Uh, I'm just asking.

IAN: Unh.
-Whoa!

FIONA: Jesus!
FRANK: Guy in the bar said to pass it on.

-What the fuck is wrong with you?
-Jesus Christ, Dad.

-You're drunk, Frank. Drunk.
-This is drunk?

-This isn't drunk. You wanna see drunk?
-Don‘t do this to your kids.

What are you, a tough guy, Steve?
You think you're a fucking tough guy?

Because you look like
a premenstrual Filipino.

Steve, go. Get out. Hey. Just go.

-Please.
-He's shitting his pants. Pussy.

-You're pathetic, Frank.
-Get out now. I mean it.

Come on. Don't go. Come on.
Puss, puss, puss.

You wanna say something, pussy?

It's Mr. Joe-Fucking-God-Gift,
the pussy.

-Ice.
-It's a bloody nose.

-He's not dying.
-Really, Frank?

Anybody notice that I'm bleeding?

NARRATOR:
--a 200-square-mile Arctic squall...

...collides with the grounds,
and fishing....

I got it.

okay-

Okay, okay, ok6Y»

You should've hit him back.

If I ever do, I'll fucking kill him.

So? Eight to 10 for manslaughter.
Get laid as often as you want.

Tattoos and everything.

It's gay heaven, man.

[SIGHS]

Thanks.

Fuck.

[GRUNTS]

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

KEVIN:
Good night, Billy.

[DOOR KNOB CLICKS]

Morning, Billy.

VERONICA:
Hey, Conrad. How's it going?

Not so bad, you know.

Shirley any better’?

Still pissed about me calling the cops,
but what could I do?

Got her over at County?

Once we had my mom there,
she came around. What wards she on?

CON RAD: Six.
VERONICA: Oh, yeah. Good people.

Give her meds straight,
couple shots of Thorazine, Librium...

...and a fistful of Prozac,
and she'll be right as rain.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Aw,

Looks sore. How many stitches?

Ugh, seven. Cheese knife.

VERONICA:
Poor Conrad.

I'll live.

Not if they let Shirley out.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

-Hey. Special delivery.
-All right. Thank you.

-Don‘t forget Veronica's coupons.
-Yeah. Got it.

Thanks, handsome.

Hey, buddy.

Hi, Liam.

Any pizza left from last night?

No pizza. Fruit or juice.
And we've got eggs.

OJ's in the top,
grapes in the bottom drawer.

Frosted Flakes, Bisquick, Heinz ketchup.

Ooh-ooh! Even got a couple
two-for-ones for Tide.

Any coupons for meat?

Yeah. They got a special on ground
chuck at Costco, and Hot Pockets.

Great. We'll go tomorrow.

-Lip, you seen Frank?
LIP: Uh, no.

What day is it?

LIP:
Friday. Why?

Really?

[KNOCKSI

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

LIP:
And orange juice.

-Hey.
-Morning campers.

-What you got?
-Jelly, plain, glazed.

-Save me an apple fritter.
-All right.

Yum.

-Bet you hate when that happens.
-They're his tits.

-It's the only reason he eats eggs.
-He just licked that one.

Oh, great. I'm trying to get them
to eat a healthy breakfast.

I bought all the essential morning
food groups: caffeine, sugar, lard.

-Sorry about last night.
-Never apologize for your parents.

Believe me, I don't.

So you can let go of that.

-Has anybody seen Dad?
-He was asleep behind the armchair.

[SIGHS]

It's a tent.

Why is there a tent
in the living room?

I thought it was Dad. I left him
a cup of coffee this morning.

I thought I heard him say thanks.

VERONICA: Yes! Ha, ha.
-Oh, sorry. I came in the back way.

VERONICA: You're not the only one!
-Oh.

Kev, was Dad at the Alibi last night?

Uh, yeah.

But he was hammered.

Hold-on-to-the-grass-so-you-don't»
fall-off-the-Earth hammered.

FIONA:
Did you see him at last call?

No.

Pretty weird, because he usually hangs
out to sink the other drinkers‘ dregs.

-Thanks.
-Ugh.

VERONICA:
Ready?

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

You okay?

I think Dad's missing.

LIP: Hey, Ted. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
DEBBIE: Hey, John. It's Debbie.

-Have you seen Frank since last night?
-No. Since Michael Jackson died?

-All right.
VERONICA: No, |won't. Thanks.

Since last night, at the Alibi.

Sorry about the door. And the window.

I was wondering, have you seen Frank?

Did you get an admission
into the ER last night?

DEBBIE: Keep an eye out.
If you see him, give me a call.

Hey, can you just go kind of check
for me--? Shit!

What the fuck?

Motherfucker.

-Wen-- Wendy. Give me the phone.
WENDY: Hello? Hello?

VERONICA: Kev, stop»-
-Hey, are you still there?

Wendy? Wendy. Oh, you didn't?

Okay. Thanks anyway.

No! Know if it's a boy or girl yet?

[LINE DISCONNECTS]

-What is your problem?
-I was supposed to call Ahmed.

-My cell's gone. Help me look.
-I lent Lip your cell...

...so he could see if anybody knew
where Frank was.

So now both my bills
are being run up.

Well, there's the computer.
Don't let me stop you.

-Get to work.
-Frank is missing, you prick.

You need to see somebody. Normal guys
fall asleep after sex. Not Kev. Oh, no.

-Why can't they get their own phone?
-No money.

Well, me neither at this rate.
I love you.

Fucking freak.

[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]

[CHUCKLES]

-Anything?
-Nobody's seen him since last night.

[DEBBIE WHIMPERING]

Hey. Hey. Don't worry, Debs.
We're gonna find him, okay?

We split up.
All the regular spots, okay? Go.

LIP:
Frank?

Anyone seen Frank?

IAN:
Frank, you here?

sorfY-

[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

DEBBIE:
Frank?

Dad?

IAN:
Frank?

[DOG WHINES]

-You can't file a Missing Persons Report.
-Why not?

-Frank's always missing.
-That's what I said.

-He's probably sleeping at a friend's.
-He hasn't got any friends.

Who would give him a bed?

We've found him in Dumpsters,
garbage trucks...

Lutski‘s tub.
-Never on the last Friday of the month.

-What does Friday have to do--‘.7
-It's the last Friday?

I'll call my watch commander.

Shove your phone up your ass.
No more freebies from me...

...like doing your taxes because
you can't understand the instructions.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hey, take it easy.
Take it easy, all right?

Look, Frank isn't far, okay?
He never goes far.

-I know, but it's the last Friday.
-Last Friday? So what?

Disabi|ity-check day.

Oh, Jesus.

Fuck me. Hey, Jess.

Uh, Frank Gallagher, did he leave
with anybody when we kicked him out?

Name me one person who would
be caught dead with him.

Steve was definitely gone by then,
so Frank wasn't with him.

-Anybody seen Frank the Plank?
-Which Steve?

-"Steve" Steve. Fiona's new Steve.
-In here?

Talking to your dad. Friendly enough.
It was hours before closing.

Right.

-Thanks, Kev.
-Yeah.

REPORTER [ON TV]:
--about a body that was found...

...on the south side of the city.
This is....

KEVIN:
Hey, is that over by Halsted station?

I broke my collarbone
falling down those station steps...

...after my very first taste
of another woman's tongue.

FIONA: Tony said he'd put out a bulletin.
He never misses that check.

He practically tackles the mailman
before he can get out of his jeep.

We've all known
it could end this way.

-We don't know anything's happened.
-All the pumped stomachs.

-Time he passed out on the tracks.
-The El tracks?

Almost lost a hand.

[CHUCKLES]

-Hey, V.
-Hey, Ian.

Um, sorry, Fiona. Debbie needs you.
It's bad.

FIONA:
Okay.

[MAN PANTING &
MONKEY GIBBERING]

No. No! No!

Again, Debbie.

[DEBBIE SOBBING]

[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

Uh, Holly thought she saw a body
under the tracks on Halsted.

It's not him, Debs, or the police
would've contacted us by now.

It's Holly, sweetheart.
She's been in third grade for four years.

-I'm gonna deck that little bitch.
-Does that even make sense, Debbie?

Why would your dad be in Halsted
when he lives in the opposite direction?

How was he looking when you, uh, left him
at the Alibi Room last night, Steve?

Ten. Ten thirty. Went to apologize,
bought him a drink, then went home.

Why didn't you say?

[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]

Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?

They found a body under the El.

-Do you know who that is?
OFFICER: Stay back, okay? Stay back.

[VERONICA SCREAMS]

[VERONICA & KIDS LAUGHING]

See? I told you.

Where the hell is he?

You got the time?

Time? A watch? Do you have the--?

Fuck you.

How the hell did I end up in Canada?

OFFICER: Hey.
-I hate fucking Canada.

-Keep it down in there.
-I'm an American!

-Apple pie? Lower 48? Air Supply?
-If you're an American...

-...where's your passport?
-I don't have one.

I told you, I never had a passport.
I don't want a passport.

OFFICER: Hey, shut up and sleep it off.
-Why would I wanna come to Canada?

So your national health care can
make me wait 60 years for a new kidney?

Whole country's a bunch
of parka-wearing, draft-dodging...

...chickenshit cowards
who didn't have the balls...

...to stay home and fight the Vietcong
to preserve our American way of life.

No snow at the Winter Olympics?
What the hell was that?

[SINGING]
O, Canada

It's the Winter Olympics.

Our home and native land

What are you doing? Holding your cocks,
handing out maple-leaf sugar loafs.

You couldn't even get the Olympic Torch
to fucking light right.

In all thy sons command

MAN:
That a Chicago accent?

Who said that?

MAN: Ph.D., University of Chicago,
School of Economics.

Oh, man, thank you.

Tell him.
Just tell him I'm an American.

Hey, there's a guy back here
knows I'm an American.

MAN: I can help. Got any money?
FRANK: What?

MAN: Cigarettes?
-No. I don't have anything.

Think you can get close enough to
those bars for a reach-around hand job?

ISIGHS]

[SINGING]
By the dawn's early light

Was so gallanlly~

-In Canada?
LIP: Wait. How?

TONY: Embassy says he admitted
to drug charges...

...but that's before they accused him,
so they think he's a juicer.

STEVE:
They charge him?

They just want him off Canadian soil
as soon as possible.

But the U.S. won't let him back in
without his passport.

-Frank doesn't have a passport.
-He'll have to apply for one.

-How long does that take?
-Couple months.

-Months?
TONY: He can apply...

for an emergency one
at the embassy in Toronto.

How long does
the emergency one take?

-I don't know. A week maybe.
-Kev has a passport.

And what good does that do?

You could drive up,
help him at the embassy.

Pick up a pile
of cheap pharmaceuticals...

...sell them to the local geezers
and the old folks at my nursing home.

Could I just...? Fuck, V-

-Uh, no offense, Tony.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Car's not insured. Border Patrol asks
for proof of insurance to get back in...

...I wind up in the loony bin
next to Frank.

Yeah. You're good.

-You okay?
-How'd you get my dad to Toronto?

Me? Are you kidding?

Canadian health warnings.

I, uh, smuggled him over the border
in the trunk of my car. Uh....

-They didn't--
-How'd you get him in the trunk?

He was so plastered,
he would've jumped into a coffin.

Why Canada?

Uh, I had to run a car to Detroit.

Plan was to dump him someplace weird
in Michigan. Flint maybe.

When I saw the signs for Toronto,
the idea kind of just...

...snowballed.

-And you think it's funny?
-Funny would've been Newfoundland.

Because he took a swing at you?

No, because he's got a family
that he doesn't give a shit about.

Smashing Ian in the face?

[STEVE GRUNTS]

What my dad is, what my family is,
has fuck-all to do with you.

[CHUCKLES]

You left him there. You get him back.

What the hell is that?

Our ride.

There's no way I'm driving all the way
to Toronto in this piece of shit.

Take turns driving,
watch some movies...

...make mojitos, sleep.
We'll have Frank back by morning.

How are we supposed to get him across
the border without a passport?

Go.

-Get through Customs in this before?
-CoupIe hundred times.

-Oh, yeah? With what?
-Grass mostly.

Sometimes Oxycontin,
sometimes illegal aliens.

Illegal aliens, as in plural?

LIP: Hey.
-Hey, Fiona.

Hey, T0nY

TONY: Lip.
-Hmm?

Yeah, um, I think I'm gonna finish
my calculus homework upstairs.

Thanks for all your help
with Frank.

Sure. Happy to. Family, you know?

[CHUCKLES]

There's coffee in the pot.
Probably a couple decades old, but....

Thanks. So is this Steve guy
a fixture now?

Just somebody I met.

CYO basketball league awards banquet
is next week...

...at St. Stephens. There's a chance
I might get coach of the year.

Heh, that's terrific, Tony.
Bet you're a great coach.

They're 8. Mostly it's just helping them
get the ball anywhere near the basket.

No, they're lucky to have you.

One kid always licks the ball before
he takes a shot. I have no idea why.

I was hoping you'd come.

-To the banquet?
-Mrs. Rudolian and Mrs. Ignacio...

...are doing the food, so there'll be
all the kielbasa and ragu you could eat.

I know. Hard to turn down
an invitation like that, right?

-Catholic League ladies may talk.
-Screw the Catholic ladies.

[CHUCKLES]

I haven't set foot there
since they tossed me out of the choir.

OFFICER [OVER RADIO]:
Tony, we have a call.

Work. So Thursday?

-Can I think about it?
-Sure. Seven o'clock.

[DOOR opens]

[noon CLOSES]

[PEOPLE SCREAMING OVER TV]

[ALL CHEERING]

Oh, fuck off. Fuck off.

Welcome home, Daddy.

MAN:
Oh, hey, hey.

Come here, baby.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

DEBBIE:
You decent?

Thought you might be thirsty.

It's Canadian. More in the fridge.
I asked Veronica to get it.

I don't want anything Canadian
in this house. From this point on.

There's no hot water.

For fuck's sake.

Disability. It's Saturday.
Banks close at 12.

Clean clothes, top of the dryer.

Don't ever hit one of my kids again.

-Your kids? They're my»-
-Never again.

-Is he still here?
-Who? Steve?

-He's probably still outside.
-Tell him he's not welcome in my house.

He's the one who got you back.

[STAMMERS]

Why would he do that? Hmm?

When I woke up in Toronto,
in a park...

...looking like a fucking
homeless tweaker...

...all I could smell was Drakkar Noir.
Middle of a park. Drakkar Noir.

Ijust spent five hours with him
in that camper. Same fucking smell.

DEBBIE:
Wish you'd taken a camera.

Total shithole.

Hey, what does urine and Canadian beer
have in common?

They both come from pussies.

Bet you're the only one
who missed me.

No. Because Carl said,
"The cable's off. Where's the ladder?"

And Lip said, "Dad's the only one
who knows what to do on the pole."

-Did you see Toronto?
-Yeah.

-CN Tower?
-Christ, yeah.

You can see right across all of Canada
from the top.

I didn't stay up there long, though.

Don't know what Canadian women
are into...

...but they couldn't take their eyes off
of me, like, "Hey, I'm having that guy.”

Got a bit unnerving,
so I headed on back down.

Bits of Canada are beautiful.

You just have to
know your way around.

-Do you now?
-Ho, ho, ho.

Every inch.

I gotta cash a check.
Make me a sandwich...

-...for when I get back, okay?
-Okay.

[BIKE CRASHES]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

FRANK: Davey, it's me, Frank. Come on,
man. Open up. Let me in.

Just until I find another place to stay?

DAVEY: No way, Frank.
I promised Mary never again.

-We had to burn that mattress.
FRANK: Come on.

-I'll sleep on the floor.
DAVEY: Definitely not. We got carpet now.

LIP: Moving out again?
FRANK: Fuck off.

I don't like the way I'm being talked to
around my own house.

Like what?

"You never got me this, Dad."
"When can I have that?"

Yak, yak, fucking yak. All six of you.

Never mind I'm a single parent.

Never mind you wouldn't be alive
if it wasn't for me.

Surround-sound bitching
is the only thanks I get.

Life is hard, we all know that.
Money is harder.

I can only stretch it so far.

Do you even know how much
we spend a week on groceries?

Too much. That's how much.

Hundred and twenty bucks.

Fiona pays 70,
me and Ian go in 25 each.

Plus gas, electric, taxes.

We pay that.

About time you contribute.

Know how much you spend a month
at the Alibi?

None of your damn business.

-Over 700.
-That's Kevin, right?

My friend Kevin,
telling you that behind my back?

Well, he screwed
the golden goose now.

Watch what happens to his tips
when I boycott the Alibi.

-And go where?
-The Lamplight.

-You're barred.
-The Fountain.

-Barred.
-E|mo's Head.

Burned to the ground,
like two weeks ago. Arson.

I don't need Kev to tell me.
I check your pockets every night.

See--'2

You better run.

FRANK: Take it easy!
MAN: Unh.

FRANK:
Jesus.

[FRANK GRUNTS]

Forget you owe him money?

-Everybody thinks I owe them money.
-You pawned his flat-screen.

I've been nothing but a friend
to that fat jigga prick.

-And his microwave.
-I won't say it twice. Go home.

-What?
-I won't say it twi--

Okay. People are laughing.

But they only thought Toronto was
funny once they knew you were okay.

I didn't split like your mom did.
I could have.

Let the state figure out what to do
with all six of you. But I didn't.

And bars? You ask anybody:
A beer once in a while, and that's it.

Three? I'd be on the floor.

They all thought it was funny then
that I couldn't knock them back.

You can't win, you know.

Your mom just takes off.
You're all looking at me.

Six kids to keep track of
when you've never had to do that stuff.

Food on the table. Clothes for school.

Bills to pay. Diapers. Dentists. Oh.

Oh.

And you're all looking at me
like I'm fucking up.

Which I am.

Then what's the point?

So you knock back a few.
Then you have a few more.

And while you're knocking them back,
you know everybody's laughing.

But that's okay.
Because that's what you need. Hold on.

That's what you need.
You need people laughing.

You need people drinking. Anything.

So long as it's not six kids
that you didn't want in the first place!

So screw them all,
and just get used to it!

ALL [SINGING]:
O Canada

Our home and native land

[JESS LAUGHS]

True patriot love

In aIlthy....

How you doing, Frank?

Can I pour you
a nice tall frosty Molson?

Old Style, JB, back.

How about a Lablatt
and a Canadian Club?

[CHUCKLES]

MAN: Yeah?
WOMAN: Yeah.

Oh, Jesus.

Ah, fine. Just kill me.

I don't know you, Frank,
but it occurred to me...

...you and I are the victims here.
Two hard-working, God-fearing men.

We raised our kids in a straight line,
with discipline...

...and with God's good guidance.

My Karen was 12
when I heard her use the C-word.

-And on a Sunday.
-Fuck.

Her mother, pfft, a woman
whose only pleasures in life...

...come from sex, TV cooking shows,
and drawing maximum benefits...

...from the welfare state,
hundreds a week. And for what?

Agoraphobia. Heh.

A made-up disease for people
who wanna sit at home...

...and watch TV.

I don't know
where Sheila's dignity has gone.

Whether she ever had any
in the first place.

I mean, her whole world
is about this big...

...and the less she does,
the more they pay her.

Well, I've done it now. I left them.

I'm not proud. Far from proud.

But I just refuse to be sorry because....

Because....

[SNIFFLES]

I refuse to be sorry»-

Um....

Oh, if you're, urn, looking for the brothel,
it's just two doors down.

It doesn't have a mailbox.

-Right over there.
-No, no, Sheila. For you.

An apo|09Y‘

-Apology?
-Not apology, just-- I'm Frank.

Ian's dad.

Lip's dad?

-Oh. Oh, the twins.
-Ha, ha. No.

I heard about what happened.
Eddie leaving.

-Oh.
-un....

My boys, your daughter.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

Well, that's very thoughtful of you.

Come in, Frank.

-I, Uh--
-You'll have to take your shoes off.

FRANK:
This is a beautiful house, Sheila.

Oh.

Thank you. It feels, uh....

-Feels big without him.
-Heh.

You should come over to ours. You can't
move without stepping on a kid.

-Six of them, heh.
-That must be nice.

It's great when they're little,
but they're growing up now.

Mm-hm.

-You miss them, don't you?
-Mm-hm.

When they're gone all the time.

The house all to yourself.

Don't get me wrong,
I love time to myself, but...

...it's tough.

Oh.

He)’:

Frank. Come on, Frank.

You're preaching to the choir here.

I have not been out of the house
in five years.

Five years?

I can't. I have this overwhelming fear.

I've got agoraphob--

I'm sorry, Frank.

I know I'm a little nutty about shoes...

-...but feet, oh, God, they have to be--
-Oh, sorry. Sheila, sorry.

I'll get out of your hair. Sorry.
You see, this is what I'm talking about.

By the time I get a turn
in our one bathroom...

...there's never any hot water.

I tried to run a bath
when I got back from Canada.

No hot water. Six kids, six showers...

...me always at the back of the line.

We've got hot water.

Hey, congratu-fucking-Iations.

No, I meant...

...if you wanted a bath.

Oh.

ISIGHS]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

STEVE:
Fiona?

No.

No, she's not here,
or, no, she doesn't wanna see me?

Both.

STEVE: Ugh, she coming back?
-No. Work. Won't be home for hours.

-Looks good.
-It is.

-Did she say anything?
-About you?

No. No. Not a word.

So you're saying...?

You fucked up beyond the capacity
of the human mind to process?

Yeah.

-Yeah, it's a distinct possibility.
-Hopeless?

Hard to say.

-Even odds?
-No, less.

-Sixty-40?
-Much less.

-Eighty-20?
-Maybe one in ten.

-Pretty colossal fuck-up.
-Yeah.

You're moderately clever.
You'll figure something out, right?

All right. Gotta get back.
AP biochem.

Wow, that's impressive.

-Not really, but if you think so.
-Any advice?

To help you dive back
into my sister's cooch?

-Or good graces, yeah.
-That's the same thing, right?

Hopefully.

No. No, not a chance.

Frank?

I brought you some clothes.

I stuck yours in the wash,
so I hope these fit. Oh.

-Sorry, Sheila. I'd nodded off.
-Oh, well, you must be exhausted.

Won't Eddie miss them?

Not unless he sheds 30 pounds, heh.

He found Jesus and just packed it on.
Heh.

Lean, aren't you?

-I can go three days without food.
-Oh, suits you.

Well, anyway, they're yours if you....

-Oh, Jesus.
-Oh. Oh.

I'm sorry, it's just...

...something I haven't seen
in a longtime. l....

-Eddie only just lefl, didn't he?
-I never saw Eddie's.

It always had to be pitch black
for Eddie.

I saw an outline once
in a thunderstorm, but....

It was like a rolled-up pair of socks.

You've gotta be over the moon
with a fellow like yours. Heh.

Oh, heh.

-Listen to me. Desperate Daisy.
-Hey.

If desperate's a crime,
then I'm a liter, Sheila.

-No.
-Yeah.

Single parent.
You get out of the habit.

You can...

...touch him, if you're tempted.

No, no, no. I'll just--
I'll just embarrass myself.

Nobody here is complaining.

Oh. Um, okay. I can-- Take your time.
Heh.

-Come with me, Frank.
-Hold on. Sheila. Sheila.

SHEILA: Come on.
-Hang on. Hang on. Shit.

-Sheila, I can't see.
-Come along.

-Swing around, my man.
-Unh.

If I'm gonna embarrass myself,
I might as well do it right.

Wow, you just had the~
Tight. That's tight.

That is-- That's very, very tight.

Oh, ahem.

I'm surprised, heh.

Tribune said Sagittarius
was in for a quiet week.

Yeah, but how does this--?
Aah! Too tight. Too tight.

Listen, um, I've changed my mind.

I-- Listen, seriously, I don't think~
It's just--

Look-- That's a-- What's in there?
That's a big box.

Oh, that's your fun box? Heh.

What's in there? You got--?

Oh, those are pretty sexy.
What else is in there?

I-- Heh.

|'m-- I'm having
a bit of a panic attack here.

[FRANK WHEEZES]

No, honest,
I'm struggling to breathe.

Uh....

Frank, the more you beg,
the more you're in for.

Now relax.

I'm- I'm relaxed.

I'm enjoying this. I'm fine.
Let's have a, um, safety word.

Shouldn't we have a safety word?

Sure, all right.
Let's have a safety word.

Uh, "Stop." When I say, "Stop,"
that'll be our--

-That'|l do.
-Okay.

-Aw.
»Phew.

Look.

-He's smiling for me.
-Ha, ha.

-How about that? I-- Okay.
-And when he smiles, we all smile.

Yeah.

I was panicking. I'm not gonna lie
to you. I just got a little--

stop:

Stop!

ISIGHS]

And that is, uh, some slow-roasted
Bavarian pork chop...

...with bacon-braised cabbage...

...some warm Bavarian potato salad,
apple salsa fresca...

...and then, urn, just two Tylenol.

MAN 1 [ON TV]: --in deciphering
the human genetic code.

But he's also
one of the most controversial.

An iconoclast with a brilliant mind
and an outsized ego...

...who has flaunted
the conventional wisdom...

.. . and tweaked the staid...

...scientific establishment at every turn.
You don't have to spend much time....

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

-It's not me.
-I don't have the phone.

Nope.

MAN 1 [ON TV]: He's an adrenaline junkie
whose willingness to take big risks...

...has led to bold scientific breakthrough,
and he's not exactly....

-Hello?
STEVE [OVER PHONE]: Hey. l'rn out back.

MAN 1 [ON TV]:
Where would you rank yourself...

...ln terms of
scientific accomplishments?

MAN 2:
Well, in the field of genomics...

...I think the record is pretty clear-cut.

So the first genome in history, uh,
the first draft of the human genome....

-You stole a floral delivery van?
-A peace offering.

A what?

-A gift.
-Heh.

What am I supposed to do
with all those roses?

No, the van.

You absolutely need something
to haul the kids around in.

I'm sorry, Fiona.
I shouldn't have kidnapped your dad.

It was wrong.

Tri-zone air-conditioning.
Power window and door locks.

Alloy wheels.

-Here's $80.
-What for?

The washer. I don't have enough
to pay you back now.

-The washer was a gift.
-No. I'll get you the rest as soon as I can.

I don't want your money.

We don't need your charity.

It was a mistake. I thought
I was doing you a favor with your dad.

Go away, Steve.

[CLEARS THROAT]

MAN 2: But I think the teams that we have
and what they've accomplished...

...are amongst the biggest discoveries
in modern science.

-What'd I miss?
MAN 1: If you have some stereotype...

...of a scientist in your mind,
Craig Venter probably doesn't fit it.

He's scuba-dived with sharks
to gather micro.. ..

SHEILA:
Woo, woo, woo!

There you are.

Morning.

The cuffs themselves were manufactured
in Fort Lauderdale...

...but the faulty locking mechanism was
illegally imported from North Korea...

-...without this channel's knowledge.
MAN: Yeah. Right here, boys.

We do apologize for any inconvenience
this has caused our shoppers....

[English - US - SDH]