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1
00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:08,040
We now returnto Aaron Sorkin's new show,
The Kitchen.
2
00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:09,669
Where's the milk? No milk?
We're out. No.
3
00:00:09,693 --> 00:00:11,037
Walk with me.I want you toget some milk.
4
00:00:11,061 --> 00:00:12,606
Where? Now?
At the store. Right now.
5
00:00:12,630 --> 00:00:14,340
Any store? Bloomie's?
Any store. Is that a joke?
6
00:00:14,364 --> 00:00:15,508
What do you think?
I think we need milk.
7
00:00:15,532 --> 00:00:16,943
I think you're right.
8
00:00:16,967 --> 00:00:18,245
You know, I neverget tiredof hearing that.
9
00:00:18,269 --> 00:00:20,179
Should I go get the milk?
Go get the milk.
10
00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:23,333
Looks like the power's
out again.
11
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:26,069
What, are we in Iraq?
This happens
entirely too often.
12
00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:28,355
Can we tell stories
till it comes back on?
13
00:00:28,379 --> 00:00:32,130
Yeah, Dad. Remember
the last time you told us
the story of Star Wars?
14
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:33,679
Maybe you could
tell us another one.
15
00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:35,100
Well, all right.
16
00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:37,569
This is the story
of Black Snake Moan.
17
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:41,339
Once upon a time,
Christina Ricci was all
tied up for some reason...
18
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,369
I'm already bored and confused.
19
00:00:43,393 --> 00:00:47,529
Yeah, Dad. Isn't there
another story like Star Wars
you could tell us?
20
00:00:47,598 --> 00:00:50,932
There just might be, Chris.
There just might be.
21
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,711
♪ His boy Elroy ♪
22
00:03:29,225 --> 00:03:32,138
Echo 3 to Echo 7.
Han, old buddy,
you read me?
23
00:03:32,162 --> 00:03:35,030
Luke, I thoughtwe talked about this.I changed my code name.
24
00:03:35,098 --> 00:03:38,900
Right. Sorry.
Echo 3 to
Carlos Spicy Wiener.
25
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:40,446
Carlos Spicy Wiener here.
Go ahead.
26
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,782
There's a meteorite
that hit the ground
near here.
27
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,922
I'm gonna go check it out.
Won't take long.
28
00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:47,709
Okay, but be careful.There's somesnow monsters out there.
29
00:03:47,778 --> 00:03:49,544
Relax, Han, I'll be careful...
30
00:03:50,714 --> 00:03:51,913
Cookie!
31
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,708
Hey, you guys,
I hate to do this to you,
but I gotta get out of here.
32
00:04:14,738 --> 00:04:17,383
Hey, what's that
on your jacket?
Is that the Purina logo?
33
00:04:17,407 --> 00:04:19,151
No, it's just a patch.
I like it.
34
00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:20,586
Thank you.
I lied. It's lame.
35
00:04:20,610 --> 00:04:22,977
I won't miss you.
36
00:04:23,046 --> 00:04:26,175
Han, wait.
I thought you said
you were gonna stay.
37
00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:28,478
Sorry, I can't.
But I'll give you
my email address.
38
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:32,170
It's HanSolo64@CompuServe.com.
39
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:34,319
Comp...
Yes, CompuServe.
40
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:35,951
But you can't leave now.
41
00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:37,370
You're a natural
leader and we...
42
00:04:37,394 --> 00:04:40,728
Hey. Did you guys
order some ice?
43
00:04:40,797 --> 00:04:42,997
'Cause I got a bag of ice here.
44
00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:45,400
Thought you might need some ice.
45
00:04:45,469 --> 00:04:48,636
Yes, there is a lot
of ice around here.
We get it.
46
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,139
We're having
a conversation here.
47
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:54,008
Hey. I thought
you guys
might need some ice.
48
00:04:54,078 --> 00:04:55,955
What?
Why would I need ice?
We're surrounded by...
49
00:04:55,979 --> 00:04:57,712
Oh!
50
00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:01,148
What a day brightener.
51
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,818
Han, we need you.
52
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,187
Oh, really?
"We" or "I"?
53
00:05:05,255 --> 00:05:06,822
What do you mean?
54
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,968
You don't want me to leave
because of the way
you feel about me.
55
00:05:08,992 --> 00:05:11,738
I bet you're afraid I'm gonna
leave without giving you
a goodbye kiss.
56
00:05:11,762 --> 00:05:14,128
Ugh! I'd rather
kiss George Takei.
57
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:16,131
Hello.
58
00:05:20,771 --> 00:05:22,270
Man, it's cold in here.
59
00:05:22,339 --> 00:05:23,605
Beep-boop-beep.
60
00:05:23,673 --> 00:05:26,753
I like all these
electrical wires
just nailed to the ice.
61
00:05:26,777 --> 00:05:28,943
That's probably
pretty safe, right?
62
00:05:29,012 --> 00:05:30,807
Captain Solo,
have you seen
Master Luke?
63
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,175
'Cause no one knows where he is.
64
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,199
What? Well, that
doesn't sound good.
65
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:36,896
All right, I'm gonna go out
and look for him.
I'll take my Don Don.
66
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,388
Well, I can't go outside.
It's cold out there.
67
00:05:40,456 --> 00:05:43,153
You can't go out there
in this weather.
Your Don Don will freeze.
68
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,587
Then I'll see you in hell!
69
00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:46,056
Wait, Han.
You'll need this.
70
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,112
What?
71
00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,980
Bag of ice.
72
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:52,449
You knucklehead.
Get out of here,
but know I love you.
73
00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:04,930
Damn these stubby arms!
74
00:06:16,894 --> 00:06:19,227
Well, this is no better.
75
00:06:27,838 --> 00:06:31,940
Me was going to ask you
to snow monster ball,
but now forget it!
76
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:05,207
Luke. Luke,
pull your pants down.
77
00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:07,441
Ben?
78
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,194
You look awful cold.
79
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:12,847
Why don't I get youa nice hot bowlof Zima soup?
80
00:07:12,916 --> 00:07:14,015
Ben.
81
00:07:14,084 --> 00:07:16,000
Luke.
82
00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:20,705
You will go to the Dagobahsystem and learn the waysof the Force from Yoda.
83
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,073
Ben.
84
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,058
Luke!
Ben!
85
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:30,226
Hang on, kid.
86
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:33,668
Yoda. Dagobah system.
87
00:07:33,737 --> 00:07:38,373
Zima soup.
Yoda. Dagobah.
88
00:07:38,442 --> 00:07:41,676
Last time I was in a dago bar
I was drinking
a beer in Little Italy.
89
00:07:41,745 --> 00:07:43,389
Go on, get out of here!
90
00:07:43,413 --> 00:07:46,915
Well, I can't stand
this cold anymore.
I'm gonna die.
91
00:07:47,417 --> 00:07:48,537
Oh!
92
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,280
Well, it's probably
for the best.
93
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:54,021
There are way too many
elderly comedians
out here in the snow.
94
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:03,648
This may smell bad, kid,
but it'll keep you warm.
95
00:08:05,269 --> 00:08:07,568
I thought they smelled bad
96
00:08:20,317 --> 00:08:22,067
on the outside.
97
00:08:31,661 --> 00:08:35,413
Captain Solo, do you copy?
This is Overweight Pilot
Number One.
98
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,849
Commander Skywalker,
do you copy?
99
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,195
Who are you looking for?
100
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:40,796
Captain Solo, there you are!
101
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:44,189
I'm sorry,I didn't copy that.Who are you looking for?
102
00:08:44,258 --> 00:08:46,591
Carlos Spicy Wiener,
do you copy?
103
00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:48,259
Carlos Spicy Wiener here,
go ahead.
104
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:56,534
They found us, kid.
We're going back to base.
105
00:08:56,603 --> 00:09:00,005
Just as soon as I grab
some powder with these
skiing young people.
106
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:08,729
♪ Get your skis shined up
Grab a stick of Juicy Fruit
107
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,382
♪ The taste is gonna move ya
108
00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:14,786
♪ Take a sniff
Pull it out
109
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:19,090
♪ The taste is gonna move ya
when you pop it in your mouth
110
00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:21,909
♪ Juicy Fruit is gonna move ya
111
00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:25,013
♪ It chews so soft,
it gets right to ya
112
00:09:25,082 --> 00:09:26,664
♪ Juicy Fruit
113
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:29,800
♪ The taste, the taste,
the taste is gonna move ya ♪
114
00:09:32,255 --> 00:09:33,754
How you doing, kid?
115
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:36,001
You look strong enough
to pull the ears
off Jennifer Garner.
116
00:09:36,025 --> 00:09:37,725
Thanks to you.
117
00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:40,039
Well, your managed-
to-keep-me-around-
a-little-longerness,
118
00:09:40,063 --> 00:09:42,530
it looks like
you managed to keep me
around a little longer.
119
00:09:42,598 --> 00:09:45,077
I assure you,
I had nothing
to do with it.
120
00:09:45,101 --> 00:09:46,801
Yeah, right.
121
00:09:46,870 --> 00:09:49,414
I think you just can't stand
to let a fat guy
like me out of your sight.
122
00:09:49,438 --> 00:09:55,426
Why, you stuck up,
half-witted,
scruffy-looking nerf herder!
123
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:58,997
You can't use that word!
Only we can use that word!
124
00:10:23,506 --> 00:10:25,484
The boss
is coming.
Look busy.
125
00:10:25,508 --> 00:10:27,086
Lot of Empire stuff to do.
Empire stuff.
126
00:10:27,110 --> 00:10:29,054
Getting Empire stuff done.
Busy with Empire stuff.
127
00:10:29,078 --> 00:10:31,056
Yes, this is good
Empire stuff.
This Empire stuff looks good.
128
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:33,226
Yes, I think we're done
with this Empire stuff.
129
00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:34,849
Hey, dudes, what you looking at?
130
00:10:34,917 --> 00:10:36,646
We think we found something.
131
00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:41,472
That's it.
The Rebels are there.
132
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:44,259
My lord, there are so many
uncharted settlements.
133
00:10:44,327 --> 00:10:47,779
It could be a phony!
A big, fat phony!
134
00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:49,408
What'd them Rebels do anyways?
135
00:10:49,432 --> 00:10:50,512
You know your friend Alan?
136
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:51,777
Yeah, I like Alan.
137
00:10:51,801 --> 00:10:53,033
They took his dog.
138
00:10:53,103 --> 00:10:55,769
They took
Zeus? Oh, no!
139
00:10:55,838 --> 00:10:57,149
Central Command to Jeffrey.
140
00:10:57,173 --> 00:10:58,267
Jeffrey here.
141
00:10:58,291 --> 00:10:59,971
Jeffrey, them Rebels took Zeus.
142
00:11:00,009 --> 00:11:01,054
That's Alan's dog.
143
00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:02,078
I know.
144
00:11:02,145 --> 00:11:03,511
Oh, no!
145
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,030
I know.
146
00:11:05,082 --> 00:11:07,549
Set your course
for the Hoth system.
147
00:11:11,454 --> 00:11:13,499
Hey, take care
of yourself, Chewie.
148
00:11:13,523 --> 00:11:14,588
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
149
00:11:14,657 --> 00:11:16,391
What's this handshake
business, huh?
150
00:11:16,459 --> 00:11:19,894
Come here. Come on.
Come on, bring it in.
Come on. Come on.
151
00:11:19,963 --> 00:11:21,607
I'm not really a hug person.
152
00:11:21,631 --> 00:11:24,348
Knock it off. Come here.
Come on, bring it.
153
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:26,751
Yeah, yeah.
Hug it out, bitch.
154
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,831
Hug it out, yeah.
Spray that hug
all over me.
155
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,099
What's wrong with you?
156
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:33,024
What? I just wanna share
my throbbing emotions
157
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:34,458
and shoot hot hug all over you.
158
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,094
I don't get why
that's a problem.
159
00:11:36,162 --> 00:11:38,674
Hey, Luke.
Take care
of yourself, okay?
160
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,298
You, too.
161
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,011
Hey, what'd you end up doing
with that dog we kidnapped?
162
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,651
I killed it and ate it!
163
00:11:43,719 --> 00:11:45,014
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah!
164
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,904
Rebels! Rebels!
Rebels!
165
00:11:46,973 --> 00:11:48,418
Empire sucks!
Rebels!
166
00:11:48,442 --> 00:11:49,485
Rebels! Yeah!
167
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:51,409
Yeah, Rebels! Yeah.
168
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:06,652
Lord Vader,
we've entered
the Hoth system,
169
00:12:06,676 --> 00:12:09,689
but the Rebels have put up
an energy shield
blocking our entry.
170
00:12:09,713 --> 00:12:11,123
What are we gonna do now, buddy?
171
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,497
Admiral Ozzel came out
of light speed too quickly.
172
00:12:13,550 --> 00:12:17,235
Yeah.
I had that problem with
a chick the other night.
173
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:21,589
Okay, gross. I'm gonna
turn around and take care
of this other guy.
174
00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:24,375
Lord Vader, we're out
of light speed and...
175
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:28,479
You have failed me
for the last time, Admiral.
176
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:30,965
Didn't know I could choke you
through the TV, did you?
177
00:12:31,033 --> 00:12:34,552
Well, I can.
Captain Piett,
you're in charge now.
178
00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:37,789
Don't fail me, Admiral Piett.
179
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,991
A promotion? Really?
180
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,426
Can I get business cards
that say "Admiral"?
181
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:45,240
That's not in the budget.
You know, we're trying
to catch Rebels here.
182
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,610
I don't even have
business cards.
None of us do.
183
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:49,195
Do you have business cards?
Yeah.
184
00:12:49,219 --> 00:12:51,497
You have business cards?
You're a stormtrooper.
185
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:54,166
There's like a million of you.
What do you need
business cards for?
186
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,534
Well, they're for
my cookie business.
187
00:12:55,558 --> 00:12:57,803
I don't want...
Oh, my God.
188
00:12:57,827 --> 00:13:01,462
That chocolate chip cookie
looks like the Death Star.
189
00:13:04,734 --> 00:13:06,645
May I have everyone's
attention please?
190
00:13:06,669 --> 00:13:08,714
We're evacuating
into outer space,
191
00:13:08,738 --> 00:13:11,517
with literally
infinite directions
in which to flee.
192
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,908
However, we have decided
that our transports
193
00:13:13,976 --> 00:13:16,844
will travel directly toward
the fleet of Star Destroyers.
194
00:13:16,913 --> 00:13:17,945
Any questions?
195
00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:20,047
Yeah.
196
00:13:20,116 --> 00:13:23,516
Is there someone from
the military we can
talk to? A man, perhaps?
197
00:13:29,743 --> 00:13:31,859
Sir, Rebel ships
are coming
into our sector.
198
00:13:31,928 --> 00:13:34,173
Good. Our first
catch of the day.
199
00:13:34,197 --> 00:13:36,196
Like you know how to fish.
200
00:13:36,265 --> 00:13:38,549
Prepare to fire
giant boob-nipple gun.
201
00:13:59,656 --> 00:14:00,749
Feeling okay, sir?
202
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:02,990
Just like new.
How about you, Dack?
203
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,960
I feel like I could take on
the whole Empire myself.
204
00:14:06,028 --> 00:14:08,746
Really? 'Cause that
would be awesome.
205
00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:11,549
Hey, everyone,
Dack says
he's got this one.
206
00:14:13,303 --> 00:14:15,135
You know it, bitches!
207
00:14:22,178 --> 00:14:25,813
Hey, Imperial fleet,
get ready
to suck some Dack!
208
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,235
I think we're doomed.
Nah.
209
00:14:36,259 --> 00:14:39,527
Unless they've got any
big, giant robot camels,
I think we're okay.
210
00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:44,999
Jim, robot camels.
211
00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:52,891
Check it out,
that one's wearing Crocs.
212
00:15:00,550 --> 00:15:02,984
Echo Station 5-7,
we are on our way.
213
00:15:03,052 --> 00:15:04,262
Great.
We'll see you in...
214
00:15:06,789 --> 00:15:08,990
Echo Station 5-8,
we are on our way.
215
00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:10,157
Hurry!
216
00:15:25,775 --> 00:15:28,220
Yes, Lord Vader,
their shield
will be down in moments.
217
00:15:28,244 --> 00:15:29,605
You may start your landing.
218
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,791
Excellent.We'll preparefor our descent.
219
00:15:31,815 --> 00:15:33,859
Hey. Hey, Consuela,
no cleaning.
220
00:15:33,883 --> 00:15:37,201
No cleaning whileI'm doing the hologram...Shut that off!
221
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:42,356
Mr. Darth, you no haveno more Windexon Star Destroyer.
222
00:15:42,425 --> 00:15:43,586
Well, that's not my problem.
223
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,853
Why don't you go
out and buy some?
224
00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:47,211
No. No, you buy.
225
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,792
What if I give youthe money, then youcan go out and buy it?
226
00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:51,032
No.
227
00:16:43,553 --> 00:16:45,453
Crap! I'm hit!
228
00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:57,793
OnStar.What is the natureof your emergency?
229
00:16:57,817 --> 00:17:01,097
Yeah, I just got
laser torpedoed
by an Imperial walker
230
00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:02,831
and I need roadside assistance.
231
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,095
Of course, sir.
232
00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:06,101
Am I speaking with
Admiral Ackbar?
233
00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:09,359
Yeah. Yes.
Yes, I'm Admiral Ackbar.
234
00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:11,428
It's a trap.
235
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,951
I love you guys.
We had a great summer.
236
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,974
Han! What are you
still doing here?
237
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:27,128
Well, I just realized that
my spaceship works better
when I have the keys.
238
00:17:27,196 --> 00:17:30,047
Duh!
239
00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:32,627
Imperial troopshave entered the base.Imperial troops have...
240
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:37,573
Sorry, I dropped the thing.Imperial troopshave entered the base.
241
00:17:56,225 --> 00:18:00,211
Oh, my God,
it's pregnant. We're in a war.
We're in a war.
242
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:19,797
I want the princess
captured immediately.
243
00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:23,650
Geez, Gordon, maybe today
wasn't the day to wear
your mesh stormtrooper shirt.
244
00:18:23,719 --> 00:18:27,321
Sorry, it's just...
I'm going out dancing
after work tonight.
245
00:18:27,390 --> 00:18:31,192
Oh, my God, I can't
remember the last time
I went out dancing.
246
00:18:31,261 --> 00:18:34,173
I think it was
Memorial Day,
like, two years ago.
247
00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:35,841
No, you know what?
It was four years ago.
248
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,376
You know how long it was?
249
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:41,369
It was on Alderaan.
That's how
long ago it was.
250
00:18:41,437 --> 00:18:44,405
Are those guys getting away?
We should probably
get those guys.
251
00:18:44,473 --> 00:18:48,033
Those other guys
will get them.
So, what else?
252
00:18:52,281 --> 00:18:54,893
This bucket of bolts
is never gonna get us
past that blockade.
253
00:18:54,917 --> 00:18:56,995
This bucket's
got a few surprises
left in her.
254
00:18:57,019 --> 00:18:59,398
Plus, me and Chewie
are on it.
Ain't that right, Chewie?
255
00:18:59,422 --> 00:19:00,954
Hell, yeah.
You my nerf herder.
256
00:19:01,023 --> 00:19:02,723
You my nerf herder.
257
00:19:02,791 --> 00:19:04,911
All right, Chewie, punch it.
258
00:19:12,268 --> 00:19:14,117
Thank God
that hot chick is gone.
259
00:19:14,186 --> 00:19:16,231
Now I can let loose
my Darth farts.
260
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,406
Artoo, get her
ready for takeoff.
261
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:27,147
You may not
remember, but
I told you last week
262
00:19:27,216 --> 00:19:30,234
I got my niece's recital today.
263
00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:38,609
We gotta sit through
this whole thing?
264
00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:40,689
It's not that much longer.
265
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:43,947
She's number seven
and there's,
like, 18 people.
266
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:45,449
Relax, man.
267
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,385
I mean,
as long as she knows
you were here...
268
00:19:47,453 --> 00:19:50,413
Look, this is happening,
so just come
to peace with it.
269
00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:00,159
Hey, this ain't the way
to the rendezvous point.
270
00:20:00,183 --> 00:20:01,744
We're not meeting up
with the others.
271
00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:03,648
We're going to
the Dagobah system.
272
00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:08,872
Hi. Excuse me.
Excuse me.
273
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:11,191
Hi, yeah, do you know
how to get to
the Dagobah system?
274
00:20:11,260 --> 00:20:14,072
Yeah, actually
we're headed there now.
You can follow us.
275
00:20:14,096 --> 00:20:17,814
Okay, great.
Annoying question.
We have to get gas,
276
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:20,495
would you mind pulling off
and waiting for us
while we do that?
277
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:23,304
Thank you so much.
278
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:40,671
Han, look!
279
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,407
Crap, there's
two more of them
dead ahead.
280
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:46,956
It's all right,
I think I can
outmaneuver them.
281
00:20:54,704 --> 00:20:58,121
This Rebellawbreaker thinkshe can outrun the Empire.
282
00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:01,759
The pursuing officersrealize he's entereda residential area.
283
00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:05,496
They give him a wide berth,but they don't let himout of their sight.
284
00:21:05,564 --> 00:21:10,101
Astonishingly,the driver makes a left,right into an asteroid field.
285
00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:13,837
What are you doing?
You're not actually going
into an asteroid field.
286
00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:16,673
Well, it's either that
or go into
the strawberry fields.
287
00:21:16,742 --> 00:21:19,354
Hey, you know what
I'm getting into?
Is one-legged chicks.
288
00:21:19,378 --> 00:21:21,778
Yeah, Paul,
what's your new
wife's name? Peg?
289
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:23,258
That'll be enough of that, lad.
290
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:24,359
How about Eileen?
291
00:21:24,383 --> 00:21:25,699
Ringo got it.
292
00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:34,875
Sir, the odds of successfully
navigating an asteroid field
are two to one.
293
00:21:34,944 --> 00:21:38,645
Never tell me the...
Actually, that's not bad.
294
00:21:38,715 --> 00:21:40,380
Yeah. No,
let's keep going.
295
00:22:01,454 --> 00:22:05,522
Look at that one!
Look at that one there!
Look at that other one!
296
00:22:06,976 --> 00:22:08,776
We're gonna get
pulverized out here!
297
00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:11,123
Look, we got four or five
of the main characters
on this ship.
298
00:22:11,147 --> 00:22:12,387
I think we'll be fine.
299
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:35,252
There, that looks good.
300
00:22:35,321 --> 00:22:38,739
Doesn't that pie look good?
Too bad we can't get at it.
301
00:22:38,808 --> 00:22:40,719
It's in space,
and we're in here.
302
00:22:40,743 --> 00:22:43,110
Otherwise, I'd be
eating it right now.
303
00:22:43,179 --> 00:22:46,179
All right, let's park
right there
in that cave.
304
00:22:46,883 --> 00:22:49,166
What are you doing?
You can't park there.
305
00:22:50,185 --> 00:22:51,396
You're not handicapped.
306
00:22:51,420 --> 00:22:52,497
I have vertigo.
307
00:22:52,521 --> 00:22:54,365
It's a real medical condition.
308
00:22:54,389 --> 00:22:57,457
I'm just going on record
as saying I'm not
comfortable with this.
309
00:23:06,952 --> 00:23:09,202
I hope you know
what you're doing.
310
00:23:09,271 --> 00:23:12,456
I've just found
that Leia's constant
questioning of me
311
00:23:12,525 --> 00:23:15,659
has not been productive
to the atmosphere of the ship.
312
00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:19,263
And I think that she just
needs to get some
respect for herself.
313
00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:28,739
Artoo, wake up, we're here.
Put your shoes on.
314
00:23:28,808 --> 00:23:30,535
You better hurry up and land.
315
00:23:30,559 --> 00:23:33,999
The last half hour,
I've been having
all pee dreams.
316
00:23:37,483 --> 00:23:40,367
All the scopes are dead!
I can't see a thing!
317
00:23:40,435 --> 00:23:44,705
Sorry, that's me.
I was still using
an electronic device.
318
00:23:44,773 --> 00:23:48,325
Okay, that's much better.
Now I can see the swamp...
The swamp!
319
00:23:57,069 --> 00:24:00,048
Swamp crashes.
They can land you
knee-deep in trouble.
320
00:24:00,072 --> 00:24:04,074
But the "good hands" people
at Allstate will make sure
you have a soft landing.
321
00:24:04,143 --> 00:24:07,523
Professional service.
Non-threatening
black spokesperson.
322
00:24:07,547 --> 00:24:08,996
That's Allstate's stand.
323
00:24:11,433 --> 00:24:15,168
Thank God for these airbags.
You okay back there?
324
00:24:15,237 --> 00:24:19,023
I'm okay, but the midget
inside me's
got a head concussion.
325
00:24:24,347 --> 00:24:27,230
No, no, no, no, no, no!
326
00:24:28,250 --> 00:24:29,649
Artoo?
327
00:24:40,246 --> 00:24:41,779
Artoo!
328
00:24:47,069 --> 00:24:49,436
Artoo, are you okay?
329
00:24:49,504 --> 00:24:53,257
I think so. Boy, who knows
what else is in this swamp?
330
00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:56,822
Meanwhile,
at the Legion of Doom!
331
00:24:56,846 --> 00:24:58,686
Not now!
Okay.
332
00:25:05,037 --> 00:25:07,303
Hey, who the hell are you?
333
00:25:07,372 --> 00:25:09,589
What the hell is that
creepy little thing?
334
00:25:09,658 --> 00:25:11,541
Well, I'm not Yoda.
335
00:25:11,610 --> 00:25:12,804
Okay, I'm Yoda.
336
00:25:12,828 --> 00:25:14,411
You're Yoda?
337
00:25:14,479 --> 00:25:17,163
You're the one
that Obi-Wan
sent me here to find.
338
00:25:17,232 --> 00:25:19,266
Will you teach me
the ways of the Force?
339
00:25:19,335 --> 00:25:22,452
No, I will not teach you
the ways of the Force.
340
00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:24,883
Okay, I'll teach you
the ways of the Force.
341
00:25:24,907 --> 00:25:28,374
But if you want to become
a Jedi, first I gotta
ask you something.
342
00:25:28,443 --> 00:25:29,721
Did you see Van Wilder?
343
00:25:29,745 --> 00:25:31,578
Yeah, I saw it
on Comedy Central.
344
00:25:31,647 --> 00:25:35,849
No! No, no, no,
no, no! We got a lot
of training to do.
345
00:25:35,918 --> 00:25:38,262
I'm asking, did you see
the DVD frat house edition
346
00:25:38,286 --> 00:25:41,165
with all the uncensored
footage and the interview
with Ryan Reynolds?
347
00:25:41,189 --> 00:25:42,756
No.
348
00:25:42,825 --> 00:25:45,003
Well, that's all part
of mastering
the Force, man.
349
00:25:45,027 --> 00:25:47,961
It starts with
checking out
sweet-ass DVD releases,
350
00:25:48,030 --> 00:25:50,909
like Iron Man,
directed by
Jon Favreau.
351
00:25:50,933 --> 00:25:53,778
Yeah, he puts himself
in his own movies,
but you don't mind
352
00:25:53,802 --> 00:25:57,282
'cause he seems like
the kind of guy who'd help
you move if you asked him.
353
00:26:05,530 --> 00:26:07,898
I'm glad you're here.
Look, I pulled
this all apart,
354
00:26:07,967 --> 00:26:09,945
and it looks like
you're gonna need
a new condenser.
355
00:26:09,969 --> 00:26:11,279
Really?
A new condenser?
356
00:26:11,303 --> 00:26:12,680
Yeah, and I would
also highly recommend
357
00:26:12,704 --> 00:26:15,172
a complete flush
of your photon
conversion system.
358
00:26:15,241 --> 00:26:16,785
I swear I just did that.
359
00:26:16,809 --> 00:26:18,820
Okay, well, how about this?
Do you want me
to just go ahead
360
00:26:18,844 --> 00:26:21,378
and do that
while I'm replacing
the new condenser?
361
00:26:21,446 --> 00:26:24,314
I think I'd like
to call my husband.
362
00:26:24,383 --> 00:26:25,615
Look, how about this?
363
00:26:25,684 --> 00:26:27,724
You buy the condenser,
and I'll make out with you.
364
00:26:28,971 --> 00:26:30,649
I'm gonna kiss you so hard,
365
00:26:30,673 --> 00:26:33,790
the picture's gonna change
into something else.
366
00:26:40,916 --> 00:26:43,983
Look, this isn't Windex
but it's just as good.
It's the store brand.
367
00:26:44,052 --> 00:26:46,520
No. No.
It leave a film.
368
00:26:46,589 --> 00:26:48,288
I'm okay with the film.
Just use it.
369
00:26:48,357 --> 00:26:51,458
No. No.
I no can clean.
370
00:26:51,527 --> 00:26:52,626
Shit.
371
00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:55,740
Hello?
Mr. Darth Vader...
372
00:26:55,764 --> 00:26:59,065
Yes, sir.
Quiet, quiet.
It's the Emperor.
373
00:26:59,134 --> 00:27:00,166
It's the Emperor.
374
00:27:00,236 --> 00:27:01,879
Tell him I no can do Friday.
375
00:27:01,903 --> 00:27:03,014
Okay. Okay, okay.
Sir... Yeah.
376
00:27:03,038 --> 00:27:04,282
My apartment need water.
377
00:27:04,306 --> 00:27:05,584
No, no. No.
He need to get it fixed.
378
00:27:05,608 --> 00:27:08,408
Hello?
I can't hear you.
379
00:27:08,477 --> 00:27:11,811
I'm going to the knee pad.
I'm gonna call you
from the knee pad.
380
00:27:21,641 --> 00:27:23,857
What is thy bidding, my master?
381
00:27:23,926 --> 00:27:26,271
Hey, I'm downloading
all my music to my iPod
382
00:27:26,295 --> 00:27:27,739
'cause I'm getting rid
of my CDs.
383
00:27:27,763 --> 00:27:28,857
Do you have any desire for
384
00:27:28,881 --> 00:27:30,158
Natalie Merchant's Tigerlily?
385
00:27:30,182 --> 00:27:31,614
No.
386
00:27:31,683 --> 00:27:32,794
Alanis Morissette's
Jagged Little Pill?
387
00:27:32,818 --> 00:27:34,250
No.
388
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,063
You sure?This thingwas unstoppable.
389
00:27:36,087 --> 00:27:38,622
This was the soundtrack
to my '95.
390
00:27:38,691 --> 00:27:40,785
To my '95 and my '96, actually.
391
00:27:40,809 --> 00:27:41,992
No, thank you.
392
00:27:42,061 --> 00:27:42,993
Richard Marx,
Hold On
To The Night?
393
00:27:43,061 --> 00:27:44,061
Yes!
394
00:27:44,130 --> 00:27:45,862
I mean... Yeah, no...
395
00:27:45,931 --> 00:27:47,943
I mean, if you're
giving stuff away,
yeah, sure.
396
00:27:47,967 --> 00:27:49,816
All right, listen.
397
00:27:49,885 --> 00:27:52,264
It turns outAnakin Skywalker'sson is still alive.
398
00:27:52,288 --> 00:27:54,716
I'm gonna need youto find himand turn him.
399
00:27:54,740 --> 00:27:57,700
Really? Maybe I can make him
go bi, but all the way
is gonna be tough.
400
00:27:57,743 --> 00:27:59,554
No, I mean, turn him
to the dark side.
401
00:27:59,578 --> 00:28:00,639
Well, yeah, I thought
that's what you...
402
00:28:00,663 --> 00:28:02,107
Oh, of the Force.
Yes.
403
00:28:02,131 --> 00:28:04,348
I'll get him over
to the dark side.
404
00:28:04,416 --> 00:28:06,450
I'll just show him
our recruiting video.
405
00:28:13,141 --> 00:28:15,408
Thanks to the training
I received in the Empire,
406
00:28:15,478 --> 00:28:18,178
I have all the skills I need
to make it in the real world.
407
00:28:19,615 --> 00:28:24,034
The Empire GI Bill
helped me finish school.
Hey, wait up!
408
00:28:24,103 --> 00:28:25,663
And I met my wife
in the service.
409
00:28:25,687 --> 00:28:27,571
We had our honeymoon
on Alderaan.
410
00:28:27,639 --> 00:28:29,317
Good thing we took
pictures, huh?
411
00:28:30,992 --> 00:28:33,994
The Empire, chasing Rebel scum,
412
00:28:34,063 --> 00:28:36,029
killing Luke's aunt and uncle,
413
00:28:36,098 --> 00:28:38,348
telling people to move along.
414
00:28:38,417 --> 00:28:41,635
The Empire,
our ships are big triangles.
415
00:28:46,341 --> 00:28:48,141
That's good.
Stretch it out,
416
00:28:48,210 --> 00:28:50,743
stretch it out because
we're gonna
start the training.
417
00:28:50,812 --> 00:28:54,648
I'm ready, Master Yoda.
I'm ready
to become a Jedi.
418
00:28:54,716 --> 00:28:57,084
All right, kid, let's do it.
419
00:30:09,591 --> 00:30:11,453
You know, I'm up for this,
420
00:30:11,477 --> 00:30:14,717
but it kind of feels
like the dark side
has a better gym than us.
421
00:30:44,759 --> 00:30:46,959
There's something out there.
422
00:30:49,498 --> 00:30:50,663
Hmm?
423
00:30:50,732 --> 00:30:52,532
There's something out there.
Where?
424
00:30:52,601 --> 00:30:54,179
Out there, in the cave!
425
00:30:54,203 --> 00:30:56,703
Crazy women,
always hearing things.
426
00:30:56,772 --> 00:30:57,899
There's something out there.
427
00:30:57,923 --> 00:30:59,803
Let's go check it out.
428
00:31:02,961 --> 00:31:05,095
What's all this slime
on the floor?
429
00:31:05,163 --> 00:31:07,723
Yeah. It feels
like we're in
Rod Stewart's stomach.
430
00:31:11,536 --> 00:31:13,019
Wait a minute.
431
00:31:14,239 --> 00:31:15,522
Hang on a second.
432
00:31:16,991 --> 00:31:19,071
What's going on here?
433
00:31:20,112 --> 00:31:22,352
Something doesn't add up.
434
00:31:23,131 --> 00:31:24,398
Just a minute.
435
00:31:25,700 --> 00:31:26,940
Time out.
436
00:31:28,387 --> 00:31:30,787
This ain't quite right.
437
00:31:31,373 --> 00:31:33,853
Now I get it.
We should go.
438
00:31:36,728 --> 00:31:39,088
Hang on, sweetheart.
We're taking off.
439
00:31:44,653 --> 00:31:46,163
The cave is collapsing!
440
00:31:46,187 --> 00:31:48,347
This is no cave.
What?
441
00:32:00,502 --> 00:32:02,903
How come I never get
any lines in these things?
442
00:32:02,971 --> 00:32:04,738
Shut up, Meg.
443
00:32:14,233 --> 00:32:15,643
All right.
Let's take a break.
444
00:32:15,667 --> 00:32:17,045
Your back's getting all sweaty.
445
00:32:17,069 --> 00:32:18,969
Sorry. Does that.
446
00:32:19,037 --> 00:32:21,082
All right.
Now, let's go over
what we've learned.
447
00:32:21,106 --> 00:32:22,283
Naked chicks.
Best?
448
00:32:22,307 --> 00:32:24,107
Rebecca De Mornay
in Risky Business.
449
00:32:24,175 --> 00:32:25,252
Good. Worst?
450
00:32:25,276 --> 00:32:27,010
Kathy Bates in About Schmidt.
451
00:32:27,079 --> 00:32:30,191
Correct. I also would've
accepted the rotting
old woman in The Shining,
452
00:32:30,215 --> 00:32:33,194
but Kathy Bates is
probably worse.
Best scene in Teen Wolf?
453
00:32:33,218 --> 00:32:34,762
When Michael J. Fox
is in the bathroom,
454
00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:36,363
turning into
a werewolf
for the first time
455
00:32:36,387 --> 00:32:38,600
and his dad's
knocking on the door
and he is freaking out
456
00:32:38,624 --> 00:32:41,224
and he opens the door
and his dad's
a werewolf, too.
457
00:32:41,292 --> 00:32:43,392
Gold star.
458
00:32:43,461 --> 00:32:45,039
I would've also accepted
the scene at the end,
at the basketball game,
459
00:32:45,063 --> 00:32:47,108
where the guy
in the crowd
has his dick out.
460
00:32:47,132 --> 00:32:48,810
What?
Yeah, there's
a guy at the end.
461
00:32:48,834 --> 00:32:51,613
Go online. Look it up.
He's in the stands,
way in the background,
462
00:32:51,637 --> 00:32:54,671
and he's totally
got his dick out.
463
00:32:54,740 --> 00:32:57,924
What's in there?
It feels cold.
464
00:32:58,010 --> 00:33:01,244
That place is strong
with the dark side.
465
00:33:01,313 --> 00:33:04,647
But it's very confusing
and it stops the movie dead.
466
00:33:04,716 --> 00:33:07,067
I'm going in there anyway.
467
00:33:32,444 --> 00:33:35,812
You know, I guess we should
take advantage of
this very rare opportunity.
468
00:33:38,500 --> 00:33:41,618
♪ You and I will settle down
469
00:33:41,686 --> 00:33:46,923
♪ In a cottage built for two
470
00:33:46,992 --> 00:33:48,608
♪ Dear little buttercup
471
00:33:48,677 --> 00:33:50,727
♪ Sweet little buttercup
472
00:33:50,796 --> 00:33:52,779
♪ My little buttercup
473
00:33:52,848 --> 00:33:57,367
♪ I love you ♪
474
00:34:04,043 --> 00:34:05,153
I hate these hats.
475
00:34:05,177 --> 00:34:06,459
Yes, sir.
476
00:34:06,528 --> 00:34:09,162
Okay, nice bounty
hunter turnout today.
477
00:34:09,231 --> 00:34:13,566
Let's see, we got Robot Guy,
Old Timey Deep
Sea Diver Looking Guy,
478
00:34:13,635 --> 00:34:17,236
Lizard Guy, who I think
I saw get in a fight
with Captain Kirk,
479
00:34:17,306 --> 00:34:19,972
Boba Fett, of course,
thanks for coming, and...
480
00:34:20,041 --> 00:34:21,286
What are you supposed to be?
481
00:34:21,310 --> 00:34:23,109
Raggedy Andy.
482
00:34:23,178 --> 00:34:26,112
Get the fuck out
of my bounty hunter
meeting.
483
00:34:31,519 --> 00:34:35,321
Okay, get ready
to go to light speed.
One, two, three.
484
00:34:38,860 --> 00:34:41,778
♪ Whanh! Whanh!
Whanh! Whanh! ♪
485
00:34:41,847 --> 00:34:42,890
Crap.
486
00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:43,963
No light speed?
487
00:34:44,032 --> 00:34:45,382
No light speed.
488
00:34:49,972 --> 00:34:52,233
I got an idea.
Chewie,
turn us around.
489
00:34:52,257 --> 00:34:53,701
You're gonna attack them?
490
00:34:53,725 --> 00:34:55,470
"You're gonna
attack them?"
491
00:34:55,494 --> 00:34:56,937
That's how you sound.
492
00:34:56,961 --> 00:34:58,406
"You're gonna
attack them?"
493
00:34:58,430 --> 00:35:00,870
Imagine listening
to that all day.
494
00:35:05,370 --> 00:35:06,847
They're moving into
attack position.
495
00:35:06,871 --> 00:35:08,115
Good.
Put the shields up.
496
00:35:08,139 --> 00:35:10,340
Oh, my God! You have cake?
Where'd you get cake?
497
00:35:10,409 --> 00:35:13,369
It was Jim's birthday,
but I think
it's all gone.
498
00:35:20,402 --> 00:35:22,647
Track them.
They may come around
for another attack.
499
00:35:22,671 --> 00:35:25,315
Captain, the ship
no longer appears
on our scopes.
500
00:35:25,339 --> 00:35:28,508
They can't have disappeared.
No ship that small
has a cloaking device.
501
00:35:28,576 --> 00:35:32,195
Captain, Lord Vader demands
an update on the pursuit
of the Millennium Falcon.
502
00:35:32,247 --> 00:35:36,232
Tell him...
Tell him
we blew it up.
503
00:35:36,301 --> 00:35:38,301
He's not on hold
and he just heard you.
504
00:35:38,370 --> 00:35:39,597
Yeah, I just heard you.
505
00:35:50,782 --> 00:35:53,194
This is insane, Han!
They're gonna
find us here.
506
00:35:53,218 --> 00:35:54,279
Yeah, and even if they don't,
507
00:35:54,303 --> 00:35:55,969
where are we gonna
hide out after this?
508
00:35:56,037 --> 00:35:57,598
Hey, what about Lando?
509
00:35:57,622 --> 00:35:59,205
The Lando system?
510
00:35:59,274 --> 00:36:01,608
Lando's not a system.
He's a black guy.
511
00:36:01,676 --> 00:36:04,121
In fact, I think
he might be the only
black guy in the galaxy.
512
00:36:04,145 --> 00:36:05,779
Let's hope, right?
513
00:36:05,847 --> 00:36:07,330
Whoa!
514
00:36:08,966 --> 00:36:10,545
All right,
the fleet's
breaking up.
515
00:36:10,569 --> 00:36:12,413
Chewie, get ready
to release
the landing claw
516
00:36:12,437 --> 00:36:15,637
and we'll float away
with their garbage.
Release!
517
00:36:20,762 --> 00:36:23,162
Look at that.
Space bums.
518
00:36:27,936 --> 00:36:30,481
Let's be thankful
for what
we have, everyone.
519
00:36:30,505 --> 00:36:32,116
Be thankful for what we have.
520
00:36:33,458 --> 00:36:36,498
Oh, my God,
I hit a space bum!
Chewie, go, go, go, go!
521
00:36:44,236 --> 00:36:46,169
All right, concentrate.
522
00:36:47,356 --> 00:36:48,420
What do you see?
523
00:36:48,489 --> 00:36:51,541
I see a woman
draining your bank account
524
00:36:51,610 --> 00:36:54,377
and running off
with a real estate agent.
525
00:36:54,446 --> 00:36:56,446
That is a bitch you see.
526
00:36:56,515 --> 00:37:00,650
And I see my friends.
They're in trouble!
I gotta save them!
527
00:37:02,153 --> 00:37:03,931
Wait, wait, wait.
Luke, that's a stupid idea.
528
00:37:03,955 --> 00:37:05,667
You're not done
with all your Force stuff.
529
00:37:05,691 --> 00:37:07,635
And besides,
you can't fight Vader.
530
00:37:07,659 --> 00:37:10,193
Only an experienced Jedi
could fight Vader.
531
00:37:10,262 --> 00:37:12,712
Well, why don't you go?
532
00:37:12,781 --> 00:37:15,101
Yeah, you're probably
ready to fight Vader.
533
00:37:21,206 --> 00:37:24,390
That boy was our last hope.
534
00:37:24,459 --> 00:37:27,444
No, there is another.
535
00:37:27,512 --> 00:37:30,280
I know. I have the Force,
too, you know.
536
00:37:39,858 --> 00:37:44,994
I don't have a landing permit.
I'm trying to reach
Lando Calrissian.
537
00:37:45,062 --> 00:37:46,808
What the hell's
he firing at me for?
538
00:37:46,832 --> 00:37:48,014
I told you not to shoot.
539
00:37:48,083 --> 00:37:49,293
Well, you're not
in charge. I am.
540
00:37:49,317 --> 00:37:50,594
Well, I'm steering.
No, I'm steering.
541
00:37:50,618 --> 00:37:51,962
No, I am.
I have a steering wheel.
542
00:37:51,986 --> 00:37:53,464
So do I. There's two.
Well, that's stupid.
543
00:37:53,488 --> 00:37:54,765
I know.
I know, too.
That's why I said it.
544
00:37:54,789 --> 00:37:55,721
Oh! We lost them.
This is going in my report.
545
00:37:55,790 --> 00:37:56,950
No, it's going in my report.
546
00:38:20,215 --> 00:38:21,681
Lando!
547
00:38:21,750 --> 00:38:23,711
Hey, Han, you crazy old bastard.
548
00:38:23,735 --> 00:38:26,336
Hey, let me introduce
everybody.
You remember Chewbacca.
549
00:38:26,404 --> 00:38:31,341
And this is my
special friend, Leia.
And that's Sarge over there.
550
00:38:31,409 --> 00:38:32,709
You don't know my name, do you?
551
00:38:32,777 --> 00:38:33,987
You never bothered to learn it.
552
00:38:34,011 --> 00:38:35,523
What are you talking about?
553
00:38:35,547 --> 00:38:38,192
We've been through
all kinds of space
adventures together.
554
00:38:38,216 --> 00:38:39,744
Of course I know you, slugger.
555
00:38:39,768 --> 00:38:41,684
Yeah, sure.
Nice to meet you.
I'm C-3PO.
556
00:38:41,753 --> 00:38:43,052
C-3PO, yeah.
557
00:38:43,121 --> 00:38:44,299
I was just gonna
introduce you, C-3PO.
558
00:38:44,323 --> 00:38:45,733
Why didn't you let me, C-3PO?
559
00:38:45,757 --> 00:38:47,735
Maybe we should go inside.
560
00:38:47,759 --> 00:38:49,153
Yeah, let's get inside, C-3PO.
561
00:38:49,177 --> 00:38:51,210
You ever been to
Cloud City, C-3PO?
562
00:39:10,548 --> 00:39:13,299
J.Crew outlet store.
Oh, my God! Awesome!
563
00:39:13,367 --> 00:39:15,668
Space summer
is right around the corner.
564
00:39:21,727 --> 00:39:23,626
Oh, my God.
What happened?
565
00:39:23,695 --> 00:39:27,863
I got into a slap fight
with a prep droid
over a pair of cargo shorts.
566
00:39:27,932 --> 00:39:29,515
Are you guys
all ready
for dinner?
567
00:39:29,584 --> 00:39:32,129
I don't know,
the time change
is really hitting me.
568
00:39:32,153 --> 00:39:34,481
I might just
stay in the room
and watch bad TV.
569
00:39:34,505 --> 00:39:37,534
Geez, it's only like
two hours earlier on Hoth.
What's the big deal?
570
00:39:37,558 --> 00:39:39,742
I'm having my period, okay?
571
00:39:39,811 --> 00:39:43,291
Please come in.
I have nothing
to say to Lando.
572
00:39:46,968 --> 00:39:49,502
Okay, the door's gonna open
and you guys say, "Freeze,"
573
00:39:49,571 --> 00:39:51,014
and point your guns at them.
574
00:39:51,038 --> 00:39:52,650
Or, you know...
Or should it
just be me?
575
00:39:52,674 --> 00:39:54,318
Yeah, you know what?
I think that'll be better.
576
00:39:54,342 --> 00:39:57,062
Get out.
Go, go, go.
It's just me.
577
00:39:57,529 --> 00:39:59,161
I wasn't ready. Hi!
578
00:40:02,901 --> 00:40:04,334
♪ Wonder Woman ♪
579
00:40:07,072 --> 00:40:10,272
Look,
the Giant Chicken's
Boba Fett.
580
00:40:14,012 --> 00:40:16,112
Very well, Solo,
if you won't talk,
581
00:40:16,181 --> 00:40:18,932
we have very effective
means of torture.
582
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,517
Whoa! Well, I don't
want to be tortured.
583
00:40:21,586 --> 00:40:24,164
All right, Luke's on Dagobah,
there's a Rebel base
on Kashyyyk,
584
00:40:24,188 --> 00:40:26,634
and I'm the one
who clogged the toilet
on the 16th floor.
585
00:40:26,658 --> 00:40:28,308
That was disgusting!
586
00:40:28,376 --> 00:40:31,588
You know, because of that,
I had to use the little pig
people's bathroom.
587
00:40:31,612 --> 00:40:33,372
All right, start the torture.
588
00:40:36,668 --> 00:40:40,570
♪ Where have
all the cowboys gone? ♪
589
00:40:40,639 --> 00:40:43,205
Shut it off. Shut it off!
590
00:40:47,945 --> 00:40:49,279
Ow!
591
00:40:49,347 --> 00:40:52,282
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
592
00:40:52,350 --> 00:40:53,816
Ow! Ow!
593
00:40:54,286 --> 00:40:55,518
Ow!
594
00:40:55,587 --> 00:40:56,587
Ow!
595
00:41:00,808 --> 00:41:05,227
This facility should be
adequate to freeze Skywalker
for his trip to the Emperor.
596
00:41:05,296 --> 00:41:07,430
We'll test it on Captain Solo.
597
00:41:07,499 --> 00:41:08,993
And as long as
we're freezing things,
598
00:41:09,017 --> 00:41:11,829
why don't you toss this
ice cube tray full of
orange juice in there?
599
00:41:11,853 --> 00:41:13,586
And be careful
with the toothpicks.
600
00:41:13,654 --> 00:41:17,957
Lando, Lando. Lando!
Be careful
with the toothpicks.
601
00:41:24,532 --> 00:41:27,528
Chewie, you have to
take care of the princess
while I'm gone.
602
00:41:27,552 --> 00:41:28,834
Take care of her?
603
00:41:28,903 --> 00:41:30,052
You mean like...
604
00:41:30,121 --> 00:41:31,282
No. What?
605
00:41:31,306 --> 00:41:32,883
No. Just make sure
she stays safe.
606
00:41:32,907 --> 00:41:35,074
Okay. That'll be
fun for me.
607
00:41:43,635 --> 00:41:44,901
I love you.
608
00:41:45,587 --> 00:41:46,753
Fuck off.
609
00:42:42,894 --> 00:42:47,046
Ladies and gentlemen,this is yourlightsaber battle.
610
00:42:50,335 --> 00:42:52,919
The Force is with you,
young Skywalker.
611
00:42:52,987 --> 00:42:55,621
But you are not a Jedi yet.
612
00:42:55,690 --> 00:42:57,418
You're getting there.
You're getting there, though.
613
00:42:57,442 --> 00:43:00,343
I can defeat you,
Vader. You'll see.
614
00:43:03,998 --> 00:43:07,044
Okay, so, no cutting
off body parts.
Let's make that a rule.
615
00:43:07,068 --> 00:43:09,380
No below the belt,
if you know
what I'm saying.
616
00:43:09,404 --> 00:43:11,582
And you know what?
How about
no name calling?
617
00:43:11,606 --> 00:43:15,074
You know, let's not have
one of those kinds
of lightsaber battles.
618
00:43:27,171 --> 00:43:29,138
Car. Car coming!
619
00:43:30,909 --> 00:43:32,241
We're clear.
620
00:43:47,108 --> 00:43:48,640
Nice work, fellas!
621
00:43:48,709 --> 00:43:51,627
And, David, you sold
the most magazine
subscriptions,
622
00:43:51,696 --> 00:43:55,013
so you get to invite
four of your friends
to a pizza party.
623
00:43:55,083 --> 00:43:56,283
Hurray!
624
00:43:58,386 --> 00:44:00,969
Put Captain Solo
in the cargo hold.
625
00:44:01,038 --> 00:44:02,105
Duh!
626
00:44:17,572 --> 00:44:21,457
Oh, no. We've lost Han.
They're taking him
to Jabba's palace.
627
00:44:21,525 --> 00:44:23,670
Well, even though
we know exactly
where he's going,
628
00:44:23,694 --> 00:44:26,854
we should
rescue him
in three years.
629
00:44:51,839 --> 00:44:54,540
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
630
00:44:54,609 --> 00:44:58,611
I would give my right hand
for this day to just end.
631
00:45:01,799 --> 00:45:05,618
Oh, no. Damn it.
They changed
the security code.
632
00:45:05,687 --> 00:45:09,571
Let me see
if I can do something
about that.
633
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:13,242
Hey, baby.
You're gonna
let us through, ain't you?
634
00:45:13,311 --> 00:45:16,279
Yeah, that's right.
You know that feels good.
635
00:45:16,347 --> 00:45:20,383
Oh, God!Nobody's touched melike that for so long.
636
00:45:22,020 --> 00:45:24,064
Oh, no! I think
I hear my husband.
637
00:45:24,088 --> 00:45:26,923
Honey, I'm home.
What the hell is this?
638
00:45:26,991 --> 00:45:28,268
Who's he?
639
00:45:28,292 --> 00:45:29,970
Thank God you're home, honey.
640
00:45:29,994 --> 00:45:31,427
He tried to rape me.
641
00:45:31,495 --> 00:45:32,595
Oh, that's bullshit.
642
00:45:32,664 --> 00:45:35,184
You get out of our home!
643
00:45:39,620 --> 00:45:42,620
Oh, man.
How am I supposed
to run with this?
644
00:45:58,789 --> 00:46:00,817
Have we ever
hit anybody
with these guns?
645
00:46:00,841 --> 00:46:02,191
I hit a bird once.
646
00:46:11,335 --> 00:46:14,637
Come on, Luke,
join the dark side.
It's really cool.
647
00:46:14,705 --> 00:46:16,806
Well, who's in it?
648
00:46:16,875 --> 00:46:20,877
Me, the Emperor,
this guy Scott.
You'll meet him, he's awesome.
649
00:46:20,945 --> 00:46:22,511
And James Caan.
650
00:46:22,580 --> 00:46:24,663
I'll be your friend
if you let me
kick your ass.
651
00:46:24,732 --> 00:46:28,052
I'll never join
the dark side.
Never!
652
00:46:37,712 --> 00:46:39,194
Hey, a hand.
653
00:46:40,915 --> 00:46:42,814
There is no escape.
654
00:46:42,883 --> 00:46:46,168
Don't make me destroy you.
Join me, Luke.
655
00:46:46,237 --> 00:46:48,470
I'll never join you.
656
00:46:48,539 --> 00:46:51,741
Obi-Wan never told you
what happened to your father.
657
00:46:51,809 --> 00:46:53,592
He told me you killed him.
658
00:46:53,660 --> 00:46:55,477
No, I... Hang on.
659
00:46:55,546 --> 00:46:56,745
Spoiler alert.
660
00:46:56,815 --> 00:47:00,299
Okay.
No, I am your father.
661
00:47:00,368 --> 00:47:04,553
Well, that's fine,
but I don't see
how that affects... What?
662
00:47:04,605 --> 00:47:09,758
Join me and
we can rule the galaxy
as father and son! You know?
663
00:47:09,827 --> 00:47:12,547
I mean, it doesn't have
to be as father and son,
it can just be as,
664
00:47:12,596 --> 00:47:15,564
you know, as two really
close guys who just happen
to be men, you know?
665
00:47:15,632 --> 00:47:18,868
Just two good-looking guys
sharing a cramped office,
666
00:47:18,936 --> 00:47:21,203
running the galaxy
together, you know?
667
00:47:21,272 --> 00:47:23,939
Just getting
the job done, you know?
Maybe we...
668
00:47:24,008 --> 00:47:26,253
Maybe we'd do it occasionally,
but it's not weird, you know,
669
00:47:26,277 --> 00:47:29,879
'cause we're just two guys
with raging goals, you know?
670
00:47:29,947 --> 00:47:31,458
I mean, it's not even
about the doing it part,
671
00:47:31,482 --> 00:47:33,698
but that's a part of it,
but it's not
the whole thing.
672
00:47:58,159 --> 00:48:01,043
Hey, did you see a hand
come down here?
673
00:48:01,112 --> 00:48:02,144
No.
674
00:48:14,525 --> 00:48:17,260
Ben. Ben.
675
00:48:17,795 --> 00:48:20,496
Leia. Leia.
676
00:48:21,366 --> 00:48:22,831
Tom Selleck.
677
00:48:31,709 --> 00:48:32,709
Leia.
678
00:48:37,197 --> 00:48:40,716
Luke. Turn the ship around.
I know where Luke is.
679
00:48:40,785 --> 00:48:42,629
What, are you
out of your mind?
What about those fighters?
680
00:48:42,653 --> 00:48:44,231
I said turn us around!
681
00:48:44,255 --> 00:48:47,823
♪ Turn the ship around
682
00:48:47,892 --> 00:48:51,427
♪ Leia knows where Luke is
683
00:48:51,496 --> 00:48:55,263
♪ Turn it upside down
684
00:48:55,332 --> 00:48:59,468
♪ Take it back to Bespin ♪
685
00:49:00,238 --> 00:49:01,336
Is that him?
686
00:49:01,405 --> 00:49:03,122
I don't know.
687
00:49:03,190 --> 00:49:07,443
Luke, if that's you,
wave your right hand!
688
00:49:07,511 --> 00:49:09,178
No, your right hand.
689
00:49:09,247 --> 00:49:11,647
It's me, you fuckers!
690
00:49:45,783 --> 00:49:47,065
Luke.
691
00:49:47,134 --> 00:49:48,184
Yeah.
692
00:49:48,236 --> 00:49:49,596
Luke?
Yeah?
693
00:49:49,620 --> 00:49:50,647
Wait. Luke Skywalker?
694
00:49:50,671 --> 00:49:52,254
Yeah.
695
00:49:52,323 --> 00:49:54,668
Oh, my God! This is so stupid,
I was trying
to call Luke Adams.
696
00:49:54,692 --> 00:49:58,494
His number is right next
to yours in my helmet.
697
00:49:58,562 --> 00:50:01,046
So, how's everything
been going since our fight?
698
00:50:02,099 --> 00:50:03,565
It's good.
699
00:50:03,634 --> 00:50:05,679
And, you know,the offer's still openfor the whole
700
00:50:05,703 --> 00:50:07,669
"two dudes
running the galaxy" plan.
701
00:50:07,738 --> 00:50:09,516
Yeah, listen, I gotta go.
702
00:50:09,540 --> 00:50:11,335
Sure, sure,
you're busy. It's okay.
703
00:50:11,359 --> 00:50:14,993
All right.
Well, I'll talk to you later,
Luke Skywalker, right?
704
00:50:15,062 --> 00:50:16,942
Yeah.
Okay.
705
00:50:26,406 --> 00:50:29,452
Prepare to lock
the tractor beam onto
the Millennium Falcon.
706
00:50:29,476 --> 00:50:31,596
All right, Chewie, punch it!
707
00:50:37,384 --> 00:50:39,663
Oh, man. All right,
someone's getting
choked over this.
708
00:50:39,687 --> 00:50:41,231
Who was in charge
of the tractor beam?
709
00:50:41,255 --> 00:50:42,338
That was me.
710
00:50:42,407 --> 00:50:43,839
Oh, yeah? Well...
711
00:50:43,908 --> 00:50:46,475
You have failed me
for the last time.
712
00:50:48,413 --> 00:50:50,312
I can still breathe just fine.
713
00:50:50,381 --> 00:50:51,458
I know.
714
00:50:51,482 --> 00:50:52,826
You're choking my...
Yup.
715
00:50:52,850 --> 00:50:56,352
'Cause I'm upset with you.
For the tractor beam thing.
716
00:51:08,916 --> 00:51:12,012
Don't worry,
we'll find Jabba the Hutt
and that bounty hunter,
717
00:51:12,036 --> 00:51:14,314
and we'll get Han back.
718
00:51:14,338 --> 00:51:16,722
Why are you wearing
Han's clothes?
719
00:51:16,791 --> 00:51:18,357
Seriously, watch
the actual movie.
720
00:51:18,426 --> 00:51:21,593
Lando is wearing
Han's clothes in this scene.
It's really weird.
721
00:51:22,713 --> 00:51:24,563
Take care, you two.
722
00:51:24,632 --> 00:51:26,448
May the Force be with you.
723
00:51:26,517 --> 00:51:31,220
There he goeswith that crap again.Keep it in church, man.
724
00:51:31,289 --> 00:51:33,417
All right.
Is this thing
good to go?
725
00:51:33,441 --> 00:51:35,273
Yeah, but practice
on a hot dog first.
726
00:51:35,343 --> 00:51:37,326
Otherwise you might
rip your dick off.
727
00:51:40,448 --> 00:51:44,650
Someday, I'm gonna
buy my moms a place
with a view like this.
728
00:52:16,433 --> 00:52:18,817
Wait a minute.
This is how it ends?
729
00:52:18,886 --> 00:52:21,419
There's so many questions
left unanswered.
730
00:52:21,488 --> 00:52:22,883
Are you Luke Skywalker?
731
00:52:22,907 --> 00:52:23,922
Yeah.
732
00:52:24,008 --> 00:52:25,936
I've got something for you.
733
00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:27,209
A letter.
734
00:52:29,046 --> 00:52:31,714
"Dear Luke,
if my calculations
are correct,
735
00:52:31,782 --> 00:52:35,350
"you should receive this
letter at the exact moment
the DeLorean vanished.
736
00:52:35,419 --> 00:52:39,838
"I have been living happily
for the past six months
in the year 1885.
737
00:52:39,907 --> 00:52:41,018
"The lightning bolt
that..."
738
00:52:42,126 --> 00:52:44,143
1885! The doc's alive!
739
00:52:44,228 --> 00:52:47,011
I mean, he's in the Old West,
but he's alive!
740
00:52:58,376 --> 00:53:00,509
The end.
741
00:53:02,446 --> 00:53:04,891
Well, let's see
Robot Chicken
top this one.
742
00:53:04,915 --> 00:53:08,075
Actually, I think
they did a pretty good job
of that already, Dad.
743
00:53:08,119 --> 00:53:09,463
Well, I'll have to
take your word for it.
744
00:53:09,487 --> 00:53:11,131
I don't watch Comedy Central.
745
00:53:11,155 --> 00:53:13,467
It's on
Cartoon Network's
Adult Swim, Dad.
746
00:53:13,491 --> 00:53:14,767
I'm pretty sure you know that.
747
00:53:14,791 --> 00:53:16,758
I don't know that.
748
00:53:16,827 --> 00:53:18,771
I haven't seen that show
in a while and I don't know
that anyone else has.
749
00:53:18,795 --> 00:53:20,374
I think plenty of people have.
750
00:53:20,398 --> 00:53:21,908
Their fans are
pretty loyal to them.
751
00:53:21,932 --> 00:53:23,732
Oh, yeah?
All 42 of them?
752
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:26,246
I'm not gonna
let you get to me
this time, Dad.
753
00:53:26,270 --> 00:53:27,714
I'm not gonna let you get to me.
754
00:53:27,738 --> 00:53:29,749
Well, maybe I got time
for another story then.
755
00:53:29,773 --> 00:53:31,084
It's called Without A Paddle.
756
00:53:31,108 --> 00:53:32,874
Fuck you, Dad!
757
00:54:38,759 --> 00:54:39,879
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