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1
00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:04,421
(laughs)
2
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,924
♪ ♪
3
00:00:10,009 --> 00:00:11,553
(shrieks)
4
00:00:12,189 --> 00:00:16,189
For subtitling services, contatct:
waqas.zahoor89@gmail.com
5
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,643
(school bell rings)
6
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:21,979
(burps)
7
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:24,858
(tires screech)
8
00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:27,443
D'oh!
9
00:00:27,445 --> 00:00:29,279
(grunts)
10
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,282
(1960s-style sitcom theme
playing)
11
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:39,290
HOMER:
My Three Kids.
12
00:00:48,424 --> 00:00:50,635
WILLIE:
Everyone, out of my kitchen!
13
00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:56,306
Brandine, do I come off
as a yokel or a hayseed?
14
00:00:56,307 --> 00:00:58,058
Well, you are versatile,
darlin'.
15
00:00:58,059 --> 00:01:01,061
You can play anyone
in the trailer trash spectrum.
16
00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:04,272
A-yeah, I'm a regular
Benedict Cabbage-Patch.
17
00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:05,690
(chuckles)
18
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:07,776
RALPH:
Meow!
19
00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:10,028
Community thespians,
20
00:01:10,029 --> 00:01:13,490
today we return
to turn-of-the-century Oklahoma.
21
00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:15,867
Farm boys are farming.
Cowboys are cowing.
22
00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:18,662
And, Carl, do you think
your character Ike Skidmore
23
00:01:18,663 --> 00:01:22,249
is bringing his cell phone
to the box social in 1906?
24
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:24,084
I see him
as a forward-thinking guy,
25
00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:26,002
a tech first adopter.
26
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:29,089
You know how I see him?
Not played by you!
27
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,549
Lenny, get yourself
out of that horse's patoot.
28
00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:32,968
You're Ike Skidmore.
29
00:01:32,969 --> 00:01:35,262
Yee-haw! A speaking part!
30
00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:37,180
This is gonna be tan-fastic.
31
00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:40,767
Geez, don't make it
into a song and dance.
32
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:43,687
♪ I've got spurs that
jingle, jangle, jing... ♪
33
00:01:43,688 --> 00:01:45,063
(exclaims)
34
00:01:45,064 --> 00:01:47,190
My spur's stuck in my eye!
35
00:01:47,191 --> 00:01:48,942
Carl, you're back in.
36
00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:50,527
Well, only with
Lenny's blessing.
37
00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:53,029
- You don't have it.
- I'm doing it anyway.
38
00:01:53,030 --> 00:01:56,449
Okay, Marge, this is
your big song number.
39
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,744
You're Ado Annie,
the girl who cain't say no.
40
00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:02,872
Now, do you have any qualms
about playing this part?
41
00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:06,251
-No.
-Wrong, wrong!
You cain't say no.
42
00:02:06,252 --> 00:02:07,919
Now, where's my handsome Curly?
43
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,337
Right here.
44
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:12,257
Now, this I can work with.
45
00:02:12,258 --> 00:02:13,508
HOMER:
Okay, Maggie,
46
00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:15,385
what shall we do
while Mommy rehearses?
47
00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:17,012
The dog track is closed.
48
00:02:17,013 --> 00:02:18,513
You can come visit me!
49
00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:20,098
I didn't hear that.
50
00:02:20,099 --> 00:02:22,310
Hmm, what shall we do?
51
00:02:23,394 --> 00:02:25,353
Why is this place so popular?
52
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:27,981
Do they serve booze?
Is it a baby fight club?
53
00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:29,983
Is there a big-screen TV?
54
00:02:29,984 --> 00:02:32,110
Do they serve booze?
Are there free doughnuts?
55
00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:33,236
Meet Batman?
56
00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:34,821
(gasps)
Do they serve booze?
57
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,865
(baby talk):
We're going to find out.
58
00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:40,118
Why in the hell
is Daddy and Me class packed?
59
00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:43,955
You'll understand everything
when Chloe comes out.
60
00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:45,665
Quiet, quiet, she's coming.
61
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,584
I borrowed my granddaughter
just for this.
62
00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:49,711
I said I was taking her
to feed the ducks.
63
00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:51,671
(scoffs)
Like I have bread money.
64
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:52,839
- Hi, dads.
- (dads greet)
65
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,592
Who's ready to do
the wiggle worm dance?
66
00:02:55,593 --> 00:02:57,927
I vant to viggle
like the vorm, ja.
67
00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:00,013
♪ A wiggle worm giggles ♪
68
00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:01,931
♪ And a wiggle worm waggles ♪
69
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:05,685
♪ Let's all wiggle
like the wiggle worm does. ♪
70
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:09,189
Oh, I get it, she's sexy.
71
00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:10,982
(growls)
72
00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:12,734
Maggie! How long
have you been here?
73
00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:15,445
♪ ♪
74
00:03:15,446 --> 00:03:18,281
Why does this line say "Curt"
when I'm talking to Curly?
75
00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:21,284
No, you see, "curt"
is in parentheses.
76
00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:23,620
It tells you
how to say the line.
77
00:03:23,621 --> 00:03:26,081
Obviously lying--
yeah, no, I knew that.
78
00:03:26,082 --> 00:03:29,417
Impressed noise.
You really know your stuff.
79
00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:30,627
Okay, actors,
80
00:03:30,628 --> 00:03:32,545
in the words
of William Shakespeare,
81
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,422
find your "X" and shut up.
82
00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:36,132
Geez, all right, easy.
83
00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:39,844
All I ask is that
you give me the performance
84
00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:43,807
I have pictured in my head but
have not communicated to you.
85
00:03:43,808 --> 00:03:47,060
Our curtain opens
on sun-drenched fields
86
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:50,105
of undulating golden corn.
87
00:03:50,106 --> 00:03:52,565
♪ O... ♪
88
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,943
Stop, stop, stop!
89
00:03:54,944 --> 00:03:56,778
This set is terrible.
90
00:03:56,779 --> 00:03:59,906
That corn isn't as high
as an elephant's eye.
91
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:02,742
Oh, you wanted the corn
to be high.
92
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:05,537
I have never seen
such incompetence and idiocy
93
00:04:05,538 --> 00:04:06,621
in a theater.
94
00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:09,165
You have made me hate you all.
95
00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:12,252
Excuse my salty language
in front of Aunt Eller,
96
00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:13,920
but why don't you
just take a hike?
97
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:16,005
(gasps)
Oh.
98
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,466
Get lost.
99
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,470
Losing temper,
we don't want you here.
100
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:26,057
Turns to cast, I saved the play.
101
00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:28,393
Marge, surely you
want me to stay.
102
00:04:28,394 --> 00:04:30,353
Actually, no.
103
00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:34,899
For the last time, that's
the one word you cain't say.
104
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,860
This is mine.
I brought it from home.
105
00:04:36,861 --> 00:04:38,278
Now what do we do?
106
00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:41,197
I learned-a to speak
like-a the Oklahoma for this?
107
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,658
Con-a sarn it.
108
00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:46,077
(grunting)
109
00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:49,080
Everyone, stop, just stop.
110
00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:50,373
Chief, no more gunplay.
111
00:04:50,374 --> 00:04:52,375
But I wanna.
112
00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:54,586
(indistinct yelling)
113
00:04:54,587 --> 00:04:57,172
Just listen to me!
114
00:04:57,173 --> 00:05:00,008
What if I directed the play?
115
00:05:00,009 --> 00:05:03,303
Hey, that's a good idea. I mean,
she directs Homer and the kids
116
00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:04,888
out of the house every morning.
117
00:05:04,889 --> 00:05:06,598
And I direct traffic.
118
00:05:06,599 --> 00:05:08,224
That's a stupid analogy.
119
00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:11,019
I think Marge makes us all
feel good about ourselves.
120
00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:13,188
(sighs):
Mmm.
121
00:05:13,189 --> 00:05:15,148
Yelling in unison.
122
00:05:15,149 --> 00:05:18,651
ALL:
Marge! Marge! Marge! Yay!
123
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,946
Wait a minute, if this
is a real gun, where's the prop?
124
00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:24,115
(gasps)
Poor Lou.
125
00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:25,950
All right, you asked for it.
126
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:29,287
Uh, wh-wh-who wants
Oklahoma! tickets? Front row.
127
00:05:29,288 --> 00:05:30,623
I can get you three together.
128
00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:40,215
(groans) This is
a really complicated show.
129
00:05:40,216 --> 00:05:41,591
So much gingham.
130
00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:43,968
We need a show
that we can actually pull off
131
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:45,220
in Springfield.
132
00:05:45,221 --> 00:05:48,598
Small cast, simple sets,
and some hip-hop,
133
00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:50,099
but not real hip-hop.
134
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,310
Great, but I got
to be someplace,
135
00:05:52,311 --> 00:05:54,562
so, real quick,
the best kind of original show
136
00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:57,148
is one that rips off a big hit.
What's the biggest hit?
137
00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:58,358
Hellzapoppin'!
138
00:05:58,359 --> 00:06:01,319
No, Hamilton
by Lin-Manuel Miranda.
139
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,820
Oh, the guy from In the Heights.
140
00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:05,532
Now, how did I know that?
I'm back!
141
00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:08,743
All right, who's our
Alexander Hamilton?
142
00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:11,996
That would be me.
Thanks to this furnace filter,
143
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:15,708
you won't be saying
"burr" anymore.
144
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:19,879
No, our most famous
historical figure...
145
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,131
(gasps)
Jebediah Springfield!
146
00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:25,301
I'll write a musical biography,
warts and all.
147
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,136
I can't see how that could fail.
148
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:30,139
Now I'm in a hurry-- Maggie
and I have a Daddy and Me class.
149
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,724
Aren't you forgetting something?
150
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:34,185
Keys, wallet, I don't think so.
151
00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:36,646
(chuckling): Oh, sure.
I'm happy to take Maggie.
152
00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:38,606
You sure like that class.
153
00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:42,235
Oh, uh, some dads just love
to be with their little girls.
154
00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:44,487
- Can I go?
- Sorry, no.
155
00:06:44,488 --> 00:06:47,073
"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
156
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,575
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall."
157
00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:50,076
Oh...
158
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:53,830
Poor little eggy,
leaking your goo.
159
00:06:53,831 --> 00:06:58,084
The Red Queen's not looking,
I'll kiss your boo-boo.
160
00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:01,045
Humpty J. Dumpty,
are you eating yourself?
161
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:03,090
Maybe.
162
00:07:06,302 --> 00:07:08,011
(Marge groans)
163
00:07:08,012 --> 00:07:10,681
Excuse me, excuse me, pal.
Take care of your kid.
164
00:07:12,141 --> 00:07:14,183
I-I'm so sorry. I was just...
165
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:16,227
Yeah, I know what you were just.
166
00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:17,687
LISA:
Let's see...
167
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:21,024
killed a bear, founded a town,
died of a beaver bite.
168
00:07:21,025 --> 00:07:22,400
Lis, you're gonna love it.
169
00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:23,360
I came up
with the perfect opening.
170
00:07:23,361 --> 00:07:25,236
Okay...
171
00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:28,364
(clears throat)
♪ Lisa is so stupid,
so very, very stupid ♪
172
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:32,118
♪ So dumb and stupid
and smelly, too ♪
173
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:35,496
♪ She has a real bad temper,
a bad, bad temper ♪
174
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,374
♪ And she's smelly, too! ♪
175
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,418
You're just motivating me.
176
00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:42,211
I need to finish this.
177
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,921
(whimpers)
178
00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:46,175
Ah, my muse.
179
00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:48,343
MARGE:
Okay,
180
00:07:48,344 --> 00:07:50,720
my first day as director.
(sighs)
181
00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:52,972
So hard to dress for respect.
182
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:56,934
No. No.
183
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,978
No.
184
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,731
Got it.
185
00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:05,527
(gasps)
186
00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:09,280
Hey-a, buddy, what'll it be?
187
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:10,823
Moe, it's me.
188
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,201
Midge! I thought it was
Hillary Clinton.
189
00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:14,994
Give me a vodka, straight up.
190
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,747
Are you sure you're not Hillary?
191
00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:21,876
Our new production will be
Bloody Bloody Jebediah,
192
00:08:21,877 --> 00:08:24,712
a hip-hop musical
about our city's founder.
193
00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:26,547
Is it respectful?
194
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:27,799
Not entirely.
195
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,092
What?!
196
00:08:29,093 --> 00:08:31,302
Why don't we start
by going around the circle
197
00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:32,970
and saying what parts
we're playing.
198
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,472
I'm Marge, the director.
199
00:08:34,473 --> 00:08:36,808
Luann, Jebediah's wife.
200
00:08:36,809 --> 00:08:40,978
Carl, Quarrelsome Settler. I got
a bone to pick with this part.
201
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:42,814
Beautiful, use it. Next.
202
00:08:42,815 --> 00:08:45,818
Lenny, Mayor of Shelbyville
and an ostrich.
203
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:52,073
Frink, tech crew. Always crew.
204
00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:55,326
Hollywood only lets in
one Bill Nye in a generation.
205
00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:57,453
(exclaims)
With the nerdy and the hoyvik
206
00:08:57,454 --> 00:09:00,623
and the reference
only I understand.
207
00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:04,335
And, of course, our incredible
star, Sideshow Mel.
208
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:06,504
Finally not a sidekick.
209
00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:09,007
This is my time to shine.
210
00:09:09,008 --> 00:09:11,134
Your first line is on page 37.
211
00:09:11,135 --> 00:09:12,468
What?!
212
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,929
♪ Yo, Jebediah survived
the pox ♪
213
00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:16,431
♪ Never used clocks ♪
214
00:09:16,432 --> 00:09:18,725
♪ Didn't wear socks,
that's what we learned ♪
215
00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:21,894
♪ From examining his docs,
and now the mic drops. ♪
216
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,146
Boom, et cetera.
217
00:09:23,147 --> 00:09:25,189
- (groans)
- Krusty, what's wrong?
218
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,442
It's happened--
the worst possible thing
219
00:09:27,443 --> 00:09:29,569
that can happen to a performer.
220
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:30,737
What do you mean?
221
00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:32,447
I'm in an article entitled,
222
00:09:32,448 --> 00:09:33,948
"Where Are They Now?"
223
00:09:33,949 --> 00:09:36,159
(sobs)
224
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,828
Right above Judd Nelson
and New Coke.
225
00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:40,955
I'll tell you
where Judd Nelson is.
226
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:43,709
He's on my show tonight.
(sobs)
227
00:09:46,295 --> 00:09:48,713
Ah. Fantastic!
228
00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:50,590
What's that thing
you were doing?
229
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:53,968
Oh, uh, local theater.
You wouldn't be interested.
230
00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:56,304
Hey, I'm a performer, an artist,
231
00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:58,890
which means I'm always
interested in money.
232
00:09:58,891 --> 00:10:01,893
Live theater is the only thing
getting ratings these days.
233
00:10:01,894 --> 00:10:02,935
Who owns the rights?
234
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,813
A Mrs. Marge Simpson.
235
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:09,317
Oh, really?
Let's see what kind of bargain
236
00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:11,862
Mrs. Marge Simpson drives.
237
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:15,490
So you'll get 80% of the profits
238
00:10:15,491 --> 00:10:18,409
while I get foreign distribution
rights in Venezuela
239
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,161
for a window of three weeks.
240
00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:22,789
(chuckles nervously, groans)
241
00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:25,875
So my little show's
gonna be on TV live?
242
00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:28,503
Yep. This is the first time
a woman has signed something
243
00:10:28,504 --> 00:10:31,047
with me where I didn't lose
custody of something.
244
00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:32,632
So where will we stage it?
245
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:35,593
Outside,
where the lighting is free.
246
00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:37,136
Ooh, are you sure
that's not risky?
247
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:40,765
Well, some would say I'm taking
a risk with an original play
248
00:10:40,766 --> 00:10:44,894
and a first-time director, but
show business is based on risks.
249
00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:47,563
Risks and comic books.
Excuse me.
250
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:49,398
(chuckles)
251
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:53,152
So, Marge, are you ready
to beg me to come back?
252
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:56,614
Actually, Llewellyn,
we're doing fine on our own.
253
00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:59,659
No need to grovel. You don't
actually have to say anything.
254
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:00,910
Okay, fine, I'll come back.
255
00:11:00,911 --> 00:11:03,037
No one's asking you
to come back.
256
00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:05,790
You know what? Just for that,
I won't come back.
257
00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:09,503
-Fine.
-Please, I'm begging you,
take me back.
258
00:11:10,379 --> 00:11:12,630
All right, but beware,
259
00:11:12,631 --> 00:11:15,383
hell hath no fury
like a director scorned.
260
00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:17,051
Now, if you'll excuse me,
261
00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:19,679
I have to sneak my headshot
onto the wall.
262
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,014
And poof.
263
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,683
You're flushed, Plummer.
264
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:26,019
I hired you to bus tables.
265
00:11:30,107 --> 00:11:33,651
- Hmm?
- I'm researching a role.
266
00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,362
(chomps)
267
00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:41,659
Now, Mom, before you go
into that production meeting,
268
00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:45,496
I want to pass along a quote
from F. Scott Fitzgerald.
269
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:49,584
"Great art is the contempt
of a great woman for small art."
270
00:11:49,585 --> 00:11:52,587
He actually said "man," but he'd
have wanted me to change it.
271
00:11:52,588 --> 00:11:55,006
Didn't he also say,
"Show me a hero
272
00:11:55,007 --> 00:11:57,383
and I'll write you a tragedy"?
273
00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:00,094
Yes, but he also said,
274
00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:03,097
"Never confuse a single defeat
with a final defeat."
275
00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,891
But didn't he also say,
276
00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:07,685
"There are no second acts
in American lives"?
277
00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:09,854
Just get in the meeting!
278
00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,939
The bagels are getting hard.
279
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,691
(grunts happily)
280
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:15,485
(doorbell rings)
281
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,779
(chuckles)
There's my Jebediah.
282
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:21,365
Marge, I'm leaving the show
283
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:23,743
to fulfill a lifelong dream--
284
00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:26,454
playing Prospero in The Tempest.
285
00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:28,080
You can't quit now.
286
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,749
We're live in three days.
287
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,876
We have no understudy.
288
00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:35,463
And you were gonna bring
the edibles for the wrap party.
289
00:12:35,464 --> 00:12:37,465
Not my problem.
290
00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:40,509
There's nothing I enjoy more
than watching a director
291
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:43,971
trying to talk an actor out
of leaving for a better part.
292
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:46,475
(cackles)
Dramatic twist!
293
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,439
♪ Sing a song of sixpence,
a pocketful of rye ♪
294
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,817
♪ Four and 20 blackbirds
baked in a pie. ♪
295
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,778
(cawing, chirping)
296
00:12:59,986 --> 00:13:01,752
Stay in there,
you stupid blackbirds!
297
00:13:01,754 --> 00:13:03,524
(screeching)
298
00:13:03,526 --> 00:13:05,652
Darling, you're supposed
to kill the blackbirds
299
00:13:05,653 --> 00:13:07,654
before you put them in the pie.
300
00:13:07,655 --> 00:13:09,948
Homie, Homie.
301
00:13:09,949 --> 00:13:11,449
(screeching)
302
00:13:11,450 --> 00:13:13,201
- Homie. Homie.
- Blackbirds! Blackbirds!
303
00:13:13,202 --> 00:13:14,911
Homie, wake up.
304
00:13:14,912 --> 00:13:16,496
What are you dreaming about?
305
00:13:16,497 --> 00:13:18,290
Uh, Daddy and Me class.
306
00:13:18,291 --> 00:13:20,125
You are a great father.
307
00:13:20,126 --> 00:13:23,420
Oh, I wish I felt
like a great director.
308
00:13:23,421 --> 00:13:26,006
Fine, if you want me to quit
the class, I'll do it.
309
00:13:26,007 --> 00:13:27,549
Who said anything
about quitting?
310
00:13:27,550 --> 00:13:30,344
I've had enough people
quit on me today.
311
00:13:30,346 --> 00:13:32,764
Marge, anyone who can raise
two girls and two boys
312
00:13:32,765 --> 00:13:34,641
the way you're doing
can do anything.
313
00:13:34,642 --> 00:13:36,268
You're gonna make it.
314
00:13:37,186 --> 00:13:39,646
I've got
a special announcement today.
315
00:13:39,647 --> 00:13:41,314
You're gonna wear the perfume
I bought you?
316
00:13:41,315 --> 00:13:42,482
Even better.
317
00:13:42,483 --> 00:13:44,275
Barry's divorce came through,
318
00:13:44,276 --> 00:13:47,112
so I'm able to leave this class
and marry him.
319
00:13:47,113 --> 00:13:49,572
Come on up, Barry.
320
00:13:49,573 --> 00:13:51,074
(all groaning)
321
00:13:51,075 --> 00:13:52,742
Later, losers.
322
00:13:52,743 --> 00:13:55,245
Barry's not sitting
cross-legged anymore.
323
00:13:55,246 --> 00:13:56,496
Uh, why him?
324
00:13:56,497 --> 00:13:58,248
Maybe I have the cutest baby.
325
00:13:58,249 --> 00:14:00,458
Or maybe the first words
I got her to say were
326
00:14:00,459 --> 00:14:02,377
"I love you, Chloe."
327
00:14:02,378 --> 00:14:04,754
(gibbering):
I love you, Chloe.
328
00:14:04,755 --> 00:14:07,424
We sang "Wheels on the Bus"
together.
329
00:14:07,425 --> 00:14:09,050
Well, that's it. Time to...
330
00:14:09,051 --> 00:14:11,761
(stammers)
Where's the baby I brought?
331
00:14:11,762 --> 00:14:15,473
Ah, geez. I won't be dating
her grandma anymore.
332
00:14:15,474 --> 00:14:17,642
(indistinct chatter)
333
00:14:17,643 --> 00:14:19,687
So I guess we're not
doing the class.
334
00:14:22,148 --> 00:14:26,359
Wait a minute, the part you
liked was spending time with me?
335
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:30,405
Aw. Well, I'll always dance
with you, sweetie.
336
00:14:30,406 --> 00:14:33,534
♪ ♪
337
00:14:34,618 --> 00:14:36,661
Hmm?
(gasping)
338
00:14:36,662 --> 00:14:37,663
(strains)
339
00:14:39,665 --> 00:14:42,125
Okay, no pressure,
but I need to find a new lead
340
00:14:42,126 --> 00:14:44,085
in the next 15 minutes.
341
00:14:44,086 --> 00:14:45,170
Preferably a name.
342
00:14:45,171 --> 00:14:47,046
Is Bumblebee Man available?
343
00:14:47,047 --> 00:14:49,340
No, he's playing Don Quixote
in Man of La Mancha.
344
00:14:49,341 --> 00:14:53,136
Damn it. Why is this town's
theater scene so vibrant?
345
00:14:53,137 --> 00:14:56,222
I'm here to audition
for the part of Macbeth.
346
00:14:56,223 --> 00:14:57,432
It's not Macbeth.
347
00:14:57,433 --> 00:14:59,184
- Is it Macduff?
- Not Macduff.
348
00:14:59,185 --> 00:15:01,853
Well, there's no other parts
worth playing!
349
00:15:01,854 --> 00:15:03,563
That's it. We're doomed.
350
00:15:03,564 --> 00:15:05,273
We'll just have a bake sale.
351
00:15:05,274 --> 00:15:06,649
Will you serve haggis?
352
00:15:06,650 --> 00:15:08,568
- No.
- I'm out.
353
00:15:08,569 --> 00:15:12,155
(deep voice):
♪ A pioneer with no fear ♪
354
00:15:12,156 --> 00:15:14,115
♪ Shooting deer ♪
355
00:15:14,116 --> 00:15:16,159
♪ On the frontier... ♪
356
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,702
Spotlight that singer.
357
00:15:17,703 --> 00:15:21,331
♪ And the crowds all cheer ♪
358
00:15:21,332 --> 00:15:24,584
♪ Jebediah Springfield ♪
359
00:15:24,585 --> 00:15:28,463
♪ Found the town right here. ♪
360
00:15:28,464 --> 00:15:30,215
(regular voice):
Yes, glavin, it's me,
361
00:15:30,216 --> 00:15:35,261
with the Gomer Pyle voice and
the unexpectedly good singing.
362
00:15:35,262 --> 00:15:36,638
You've got the part.
363
00:15:36,639 --> 00:15:37,556
(deep voice):
♪ Thank you. ♪
364
00:15:37,557 --> 00:15:38,973
Save your voice.
365
00:15:38,974 --> 00:15:41,768
(regular voice):
All right, then.
366
00:15:41,769 --> 00:15:43,520
(thunder rolls)
367
00:15:43,521 --> 00:15:46,481
Marge, as your producer, I'm
gonna inform you of a problem,
368
00:15:46,482 --> 00:15:48,566
then blame you
if you can't solve it.
369
00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:50,652
(sighs)
Now what?
370
00:15:50,653 --> 00:15:53,571
There's one thing a first-time
director cannot control.
371
00:15:53,572 --> 00:15:54,406
Bruce Willis?
372
00:15:54,407 --> 00:15:55,865
No, the weather.
373
00:15:55,866 --> 00:15:58,868
-Marge, it's going to rain
during the show.
-How hard?
374
00:15:58,869 --> 00:16:02,705
Well, let's just say I hope you
liked the movie Waterworld.
375
00:16:02,706 --> 00:16:05,625
Ambitious, eh, but unsatisfying.
376
00:16:05,626 --> 00:16:07,585
You might want
to consider canceling.
377
00:16:07,586 --> 00:16:10,505
I don't know much about showbiz,
but I know one thing:
378
00:16:10,506 --> 00:16:12,632
the show must go on.
379
00:16:12,633 --> 00:16:14,467
Huh? I never heard that before.
380
00:16:14,468 --> 00:16:16,594
Really? Well, tell me
to break a leg.
381
00:16:16,595 --> 00:16:19,389
Why would I do that?
It's violent and cruel.
382
00:16:19,390 --> 00:16:21,975
Well-- there's no business
like show business.
383
00:16:21,976 --> 00:16:23,476
Nah, nah, now that's not true.
384
00:16:23,477 --> 00:16:24,894
Most show business companies
385
00:16:24,895 --> 00:16:27,230
are part of much larger
conglomerates.
386
00:16:27,231 --> 00:16:29,315
Just get the hell out.
387
00:16:29,316 --> 00:16:31,110
That I've heard before.
388
00:16:32,111 --> 00:16:33,028
(grunts)
389
00:16:33,029 --> 00:16:34,320
Hmm.
390
00:16:34,321 --> 00:16:36,364
Going live.
Break a leg, everyone.
391
00:16:36,365 --> 00:16:38,491
-MAN: What?
-MAN 2:
Why would you wish that?
392
00:16:38,492 --> 00:16:39,784
LENNY:
You're mean.
393
00:16:39,785 --> 00:16:43,037
(piano playing)
394
00:16:43,038 --> 00:16:45,081
♪ Let me tell you
about a mystery ♪
395
00:16:45,082 --> 00:16:46,624
♪ Of our city's history ♪
396
00:16:46,625 --> 00:16:48,334
♪ An out-of-towner
was our founder ♪
397
00:16:48,335 --> 00:16:50,253
♪ Despite his latent bigotry ♪
398
00:16:50,254 --> 00:16:52,255
♪ How did this pioneer
domineer ♪
399
00:16:52,256 --> 00:16:55,008
♪ Persevere,
then die right here? ♪
400
00:16:55,009 --> 00:16:58,553
♪ Before the tire fire,
a man named Jebediah ♪
401
00:16:58,554 --> 00:17:01,807
-♪ Made Springfield
the new frontier... ♪
-(mouthing)
402
00:17:03,434 --> 00:17:05,059
Cue camera three.
403
00:17:05,060 --> 00:17:06,478
Cue Bart.
404
00:17:07,438 --> 00:17:09,314
Whoa.
405
00:17:09,315 --> 00:17:13,192
(deep voice): ♪ That's right, my
name is Jebediah Springfield ♪
406
00:17:13,193 --> 00:17:16,154
♪ There is none
to whom I yield ♪
407
00:17:16,155 --> 00:17:18,239
♪ No king to whom I've kneeled ♪
408
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:22,703
♪ Tonight
my secrets are revealed ♪
409
00:17:24,914 --> 00:17:31,086
♪ Jebediah Springfield ♪
410
00:17:35,215 --> 00:17:37,050
(hip-hop beat playing)
411
00:17:37,051 --> 00:17:40,511
♪ Now, this bear and I
are one and the same ♪
412
00:17:40,512 --> 00:17:43,431
♪ He gave his life
so that I could have fame ♪
413
00:17:43,432 --> 00:17:46,392
♪ Jebediah Springfield. ♪
414
00:17:46,393 --> 00:17:48,228
MARGE:
Cut to commercial.
415
00:17:48,229 --> 00:17:51,606
That's a cut
to commercial, everyone.
416
00:17:51,607 --> 00:17:53,232
John Lithgow?
417
00:17:53,233 --> 00:17:55,151
I like to work.
418
00:17:55,152 --> 00:17:57,362
- Oh, uh, line, please?
- "Grrr."
419
00:17:57,363 --> 00:17:59,989
No, you fool, a rescue line.
420
00:17:59,990 --> 00:18:01,407
Mom, what do we do?
421
00:18:01,408 --> 00:18:02,992
Improvise.
422
00:18:02,993 --> 00:18:05,954
Lisa, I need a five-minute rap
about the cruelty of the sea
423
00:18:05,955 --> 00:18:08,748
and the brave souls
who rise above it.
424
00:18:08,749 --> 00:18:11,751
No problem. Can I make sly
analogies to today's politics?
425
00:18:11,752 --> 00:18:12,753
No. You'll date it.
426
00:18:15,381 --> 00:18:17,382
♪ The bullets flew like rain ♪
427
00:18:17,383 --> 00:18:18,675
♪ As buffalo were slain... ♪
428
00:18:18,676 --> 00:18:21,636
Who wants to change the channel?
429
00:18:21,637 --> 00:18:23,513
Eh, either they're all dead
or it's a hit.
430
00:18:23,514 --> 00:18:25,098
Fifty-fifty.
431
00:18:25,099 --> 00:18:27,475
(gasps)
432
00:18:27,476 --> 00:18:31,229
♪ And now I have
a raging fever ♪
433
00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:34,983
♪ Bitten by a rabid beaver ♪
434
00:18:34,984 --> 00:18:38,194
♪ I didn't fight
for equal rights ♪
435
00:18:38,195 --> 00:18:42,699
♪ I wish I'd done more
for non-whites ♪
436
00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:47,203
♪ But no more time
for Jebediah ♪
437
00:18:47,204 --> 00:18:52,083
♪ All that's left to do ♪
438
00:18:52,084 --> 00:18:55,420
♪ Is ♪
439
00:18:55,421 --> 00:18:58,256
♪ Die-a. ♪
440
00:18:58,257 --> 00:19:00,175
(groans in regular voice)
441
00:19:02,845 --> 00:19:04,762
(cheering)
442
00:19:04,763 --> 00:19:06,597
BARNEY:
In unison...
443
00:19:06,598 --> 00:19:08,474
AUDIENCE (chanting):
Marge! Marge! Marge!
444
00:19:08,475 --> 00:19:11,644
This is the happiest moment...
(choking)
445
00:19:11,645 --> 00:19:14,398
Careers are getting shorter
than ever these days.
446
00:19:16,316 --> 00:19:19,610
Marge, we got the highest rating
in modern TV history.
447
00:19:19,611 --> 00:19:21,279
A 0.6!
448
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,406
Congratulations.
449
00:19:23,407 --> 00:19:27,577
I did it. I directed
a popular off-Broadway musical.
450
00:19:27,578 --> 00:19:30,663
And I wrote a popular
off-Broadway musical.
451
00:19:30,664 --> 00:19:33,417
And I caught an octopus
on Main Street. What a day.
452
00:19:37,838 --> 00:19:39,172
And the winner
for Outstanding Lead Performance
453
00:19:39,173 --> 00:19:40,798
in a Play or Musical.
454
00:19:40,799 --> 00:19:43,760
Oh, mein Gott! It's Sideshow Mel
for The Tempest.
455
00:19:43,761 --> 00:19:46,095
(Krusty the Clown Show
theme song playing)
456
00:19:46,096 --> 00:19:49,891
Barbara, you can put
the kids to bed now.
457
00:19:49,892 --> 00:19:53,561
Is what I'd like to say,
but I'm childless.
458
00:19:53,562 --> 00:19:57,023
"One pie to the groin
won't do damage," they said.
459
00:19:57,024 --> 00:19:58,775
They were wrong!
460
00:19:58,776 --> 00:20:01,110
12 nominations, zero awards.
461
00:20:01,111 --> 00:20:03,321
Welcome to Club Snub, Marge.
462
00:20:03,322 --> 00:20:06,657
Feel the bile rising, the
bitterness that will never...
463
00:20:06,658 --> 00:20:10,745
PRESENTER:
And a special award for
Best Newcomer, Marge Simpson.
464
00:20:10,746 --> 00:20:12,539
- (gasps)
- Damn it!
465
00:20:18,754 --> 00:20:22,048
♪ Ah, hell, give me ♪
466
00:20:22,049 --> 00:20:25,343
♪ A white wine spritzer ♪
467
00:20:25,344 --> 00:20:27,261
♪ Ah, hell, give me ♪
468
00:20:27,262 --> 00:20:31,225
♪ A white wine spritzer ♪
469
00:20:51,870 --> 00:20:55,123
♪ You ♪
470
00:20:55,124 --> 00:20:57,667
♪ Only ♪
471
00:20:57,668 --> 00:20:59,085
♪ Live... ♪
472
00:20:59,086 --> 00:21:00,754
-FRINK (deep voice):
♪ The end. ♪
-Shh!
473
00:21:03,465 --> 00:21:05,884
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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