All language subtitles for The.Invisible.Woman.1940.720p.BluRay.x264-SADPANDA-HI

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Where is he? Where is he?

- Get up. Get up.
- I am up.

I was up and I've
been up all night.

I would have stayed up if
you hadn't knocked me down.

Well, I didn't know
you were there.

If you'd come in
a moment later, sir,

I wouldn't
have been there.

I have handed in
my notice.

Have you seen
the morning paper?

After 25 years
in this household,

I can't see
anything, sir.

Well,
just glance at that and you'll see plenty.

GEORGE: (CHUCKLES)
Must be spring again.

- I haven't had time to find out.
- RICHARD: Good morning.

GIBBS: Listen to me, you extravagant,
girl-crazy young idiot.

Good morning.
Good morning.

Wow, George,
new shoes?

No, sir. It's a bombproof
shelter for my tootsies, sir.

- New shoes.
- GIBBS: Now, look here.

For 40 years I've been working
myself into a nervous breakdown

handling
your family's affairs.

But this is
the last straw.

We got off easy.
She sued for a million.

And she got
100,000 cash.

Good heavens, man.
Doesn't anything ever bother you?

No, nothing.

Besides, what's
the use of worrying

about something
that's already happened?

Well, it won't happen again,
I'll guarantee you that.

You're broke.

- Definitely?
- Definitely.

And you've got
to get away from all this.

(SCOFFS)

No more girls
and no more parties.

And no more
Prof. Gibbs.

Gibbs. Hmm.

You'll pardon me, sir,
but that should have occurred long ago.

Gibbs. Say,
that reminds me.

He called me up this morning
and asked for $3,000.

Write him out
a check, will you?

Three thousand dollars for that...
That...

- Crackpot.
- Thank you.

You've already wasted a
fortune on his silly ideas.

And none of them are any good,
excepting the rat trap

and then he was
right at home.

You can't expect me to brush off
the professor just like that.

He's practically an heirloom.
I inherited him from Dad.

What has he invented
in the last 10 years?

Not a darn thing.

Now he's got to stop draining
your bank account.

Thousands for chemicals, bulbs,
bulbs, chemicals.

- What for?
- Well, he must be inventing something.

But what?

I don't know. I never ask him.

Now you sit down there and write
that scatterbrain professor

that he's had the last penny
he's ever going to get from you.

May I help you, sir?

Oh, this makes
me very happy.

I'm sure you won't regret this move,
sir, at all.

Oh! You make it strong, sir,
and I'll withdraw my resignation.

Stop breathing
down my neck.

It's the breath
of pleasure, sir.

And perhaps
a touch of garlic.

George, are you sick?

Me, sir?
No, sir.

Stick out
your tongue.

Give that
to the professor.

Thank you, sir.

What is this, Halloween?

MRS. JACKSON: Prof. Gibbs?

Go away.

Now, now, Professor.
It's only me, Mrs. Jackson.

Hmm. You will find Mrs.
Jackson in the kitchen

where she belongs.

(CHEMICALS FIZZING)

Professor,
you drank it.

Have a touch of
indigestion this morning.

(SIGHS) Well,
here's a note from Mr. Russell.

Huh? Hold this.

Yes. This... This will
be the check for 3,000.

There's no check.

Nothing at all.

Dear, dear, dear.

You stay here, Mrs. Jackson.
I've got to run into town.

Into town?
What'll I do with this?

Hold it carefully.
It might explode.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

PAPERBOY: Morning paper.

My... My ad. My... My ad.
I want to change it, please.

That's fine.
We only run a couple of thousand ads a day.

Have you got
a receipt?

A receipt? A...

Would that be
a little piece of paper?

Oh, yeah.
I seem to remember putting it in my wallet.

You know, I can never find my...
Oh, here it is.

Here. It's... Look.

Would...
Would that be it?

It's it. P-19.

I was just going
to send it through.

GIBBS: That's what I call a coincidence.
Eh? A remarkable one, really.

You really
want this in?

Yes, of course.
Unless you would like to try the experiment.

No, no. No, thank you.

Ah...

No sense of adventure.

Put yourself in the garage,
lazy bones.

(ENGINE REVVING)

Hey, Professor. What's the big idea?
That car went in by itself.

A little invention
of mine.

Dear me. You look enough like Dick Russell
to be his brother.

Oh, come out of it, Prof.
I am Dick Russell.

No, no. He wouldn't be going fishing and he
wouldn't be up this early.

I'm sorry I couldn't send you that money
I promised.

It's not that I've lost faith in
you or anything,

but it's simply
that I'm flat busted.

Busted? Good. Wonderful.
Come into the lab, quick.

Well, they're all open.
Now will you tell me what they are?

Answers to my ad
I put in the paper.

My boy,
all your troubles are over.

You'll make millions out
of this. Millions.

Millions out of what?

Come on, come on.
Help me, uh...

Help me
pick the victim.

You know, a peculiar
fellow took my ad.

Thought I was cuckoo.

Anything in yours?

"I'm willing to
undergo experiment

"if you will deposit
$100,000 to my account."

They all think I'm crazy.
I can't understand it.

- You believe I can do it, don't you?
- Do what?

Make people invisible.

- What?
- Invisible.

With my new machine over there.
It absolutely works.

You know,
I tried it on the cat.

There's the cat.

Of course
there's the cat.

I only gave her
a slight treatment.

Wears off
after a while.

If only I could get a person
to try it on.

Hey, wait a minute.
Listen to this.

"I am willing to submit to your experiment
on Friday afternoon.

"Please let me
know your address.

"K. Carroll,
1132 North Vista."

Eureka.

In return for all you've done for me,
your fortune is made.

You're a millionaire,
starting tomorrow.

You mean, I'll see the positive
proof tomorrow?

Hmm. I mean,
you won't see it.

- I won't see it?
- (BEEPS)

Ah!

Kitty, K. Carroll is going
to join your club.

Hey, John. John.

- About this inventory...
- Hang the inventory.

Congratulate me, man.
I'm practically a millionaire.

- Have you gone mad?
- No.

- Got everything packed, George?
- Yes, sir. Everything.

Furniture is in order, silverware stored,
trunks packed, pictures all covered.

Well, that's fine.
You can put everything back now.

Very good, sir.

Did you say,
"Put everything back"?

I certainly did.
We're not leaving.

We're not leaving.
We're... (GRUNTS)

Mrs. House...
Housekeeper.

Housekeeper.
Housekeeper.

Jackson is the name.

I've been with you for 12 years
and the name's still Jackson.

Hmm. Mrs. Jackson,

tomorrow I am expecting a gentleman,
Mr. K. Carroll.

Bring him right in here to me.
Don't mention a word of this to anybody.

Keep it
a dead secret.

And see that this
is mailed to him at once.

And take a very good
look at him

because you won't
see him again.

(DOORBELL BUZZES)

It's the mail, Mrs. Patten.
I'll get it. I'm expecting a letter.

All right, honey.

Hello, Mr. Postman.
Have you got a letter for me?

- K. Carroll?
- That's it. Thank you very, very much.

Oh!

Oh! Have you
got a feller?

Hooray! He's made
an appointment.

Oh, then you
have got a feller.

This isn't from
a fella, Mrs. Patten.

This is the call to adventure.

What would you do if you
could completely disappear?

Don't tell me you're thinking
about running out on me

when your room
rent's way past due?

Oh, I...
I hate to bring it up,

but after all,
I've got to live, you know.

Live. (SCOFFS)

Get up in the morning,
run for the subway, punch the clock,

get kicked around all day by
that nasty little Mr. Growley,

punch the clock,
run for the subway and go to bed.

Dream about
the subway.

You're gonna dream yourself out of
your job if you don't get going.

Oh, dear,
the time clock. Bye.

MRS. BATES: Come on
now, girls. Hurry up.

- Kitty, you're late.
- You're telling me.

Someday, ducky, I'm gonna give you
a real punch, right in the nose.

(WOMAN CLICKS TONGUE)

- Kitty, what kept you?
- My mail.

I never get any mail.
All I get is a cold in my head.

Here, dear.
You're wearing number 37.

Oh, Kitty, hurry.
What are you thinking of?

What would you do
if you could become invisible?

Kitty, do you
feel all right?

I feel as though I'm just
ready to take the plunge.

- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- Hurry, Kitty.

I will.

(SNAPS FINGERS) All right, all right.
Pay attention. Quit daydreaming.

Now remember.
We're not in business for your amusement.

Every minute wasted
means money lost.

Every second delay
keeps a buyer waiting.

Eyes front, chin up,
shoulders back.

- Where's number 37?
- Oh, coming right out, Mr. Growley.

All right, Carroll.
Don't try to sneak by.

You were two minutes
late this morning.

You're docked
an hour's pay.

That's unfair.
I've never been late before.

And besides,
two minutes is exactly one 30th of an hour.

Well, really, Carroll?

Maybe you'd like to take up bookkeeping,
somewhere else.

Well, would you?

- Well, I didn't mean...
- That's better.

(SNIFFLES)

- And you?
- Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Growley.

I have a cold
in my head.

You sniffle in front of customers,
you're fired.

Oh, Mr. Growley.

Suppose you mind your own business,
Mrs. Bates.

There are plenty of younger
women for your job.

Yes, sir.

Now I know what I'd do.

I'd kick him
right in the pants.

All right.
Get going, everybody.

GROWLEY: Good morning.
Good morning. Good morning.

I'm sure you'll like
our new showing.

- How do you do?
- How do you do?

How are you?
How do you do?

This is our new dinner dress.
(WHISPERS) Smile.

Turn around, show the back,
little lady.

Let me see that.

How much?

KITTY: Hey, take it easy,
will you?

- What's that?
- They tore it.

- Mr. Growley, I came here to do business.
- Not be insulted.

Please, ladies.
Please.

Of course the girl is wrong
and she'll apologize to you,

or I shall have
to dismiss her.

- They tore it.
- Apologize. The customer's always right.

This time the customers happen to be wrong,
aren't they, girls?

Since you three stick together so well,
you can be fired together.

Or do you apologize?

- I apologize.
- All right. You can go.

And now, ladies, while the little models are
making their change,

I'd like to show you
some new material.

- Kitty, what are you doing?
- I'm leaving.

We can't go on being stepped
on like this for 16.50 a week.

Docked when we're sick,
docked when we're late.

Treated like dogs,
yelled at, humiliated.

It's time one of us showed
Growley where he gets off.

He works for a living
like all the rest of us.

It's time he behave
like a human being.

But what are you gonna do?
Where you gonna go?

I'll be back.
And if I have any luck, nobody will see me.

- Prof. Gibbs, please.
- Who shall I say is calling?

Miss Growley...
I mean, Miss Carroll.

I came to...
I mean, I came in answer to an ad.

Would you tell
Prof. Growley...

I mean, Prof. Gibbs
that I'm here?

(CHUCKLES)

Step in.

There's a person
outside, Professor,

to see you
about your ad.

- Good. Send him in.
- It's a her.

A her?

- You mean, skirts and things?
- Mmm. Skirts and things.

Mrs. Jackson, you're
letting me down.

I can't possibly perform my experiment
unless the subject doesn't wear a...

Hasn't any... Is...
Is, you know, in the...

In the "altogether,"
as it were.

- What am I going to do?
- Well, how should I know?

Dear, dear.
I can't afford to lose her.

I mean, I might
never find another.

- I have it. You tell her.
- Tell her what?

About the, uh,
disrobing.

Tell her it's purely
in the interest of science.

You know,
we can put her behind the screen.

And nothing could
be more proper.

And, of course, during the experiment,
you'll stay right here.

Well, I don't know as I want
to see folks get invisible.

Might give me a turn.

It's her or you, Mrs. Jackson.
Take your choice.

You're either
victim or chaperone.

All right, all right.
I'll tell her.

KITTY: Be careful of this.
It belongs to my roommate.

And this, too.

Also these.

The shoes are mine, though.
She gave them to me.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

- May I come in?
- KITTY: Yes, we're ready for you now.

How's the visibility
today, Prof?

You know, you didn't
tell me that, uh...

In your letter
that you were a girl.

Well, I wanted to be sure it wasn't one
of those "for girls only" propositions.

I expected a man,
but you'll do.

Give me your arm.

KITTY: Ouch!

- Is that all there is to it?
- Oh, no.

We have to treat the
body externally as well.

Will it hurt?

Oh. Will it hurt?
Not at all.

Perhaps a slight tickling
sensation for a minute or two.

KITTY: Oh, good.
I don't tickle easily.

GIBBS: All ready to begin.

Ah...

KITTY: Uh, now wait a minute.

This won't make me invisible forever,
will it?

Oh, no. Just
for a few hours.

KITTY: Just what I want.
Go ahead. Shoot.

GIBBS: Are you quite sure
you're willing to go through with this?

- KITTY: I said, shoot.
- GIBBS: Because, you know, it'll work.

KITTY: It really
doesn't hurt.

No, but it tickles.

(KITTY LAUGHS)

I'll say it does.

Ooh, you look like
a custard pie.

KITTY: Am I
dissolving yet?

- That's that.
- She's gone.

KITTY: Don't you dare
come back here.

Why? Is something
still showing?

KITTY: Well, I can't
see anything, but...

but how do I
know you can't?

Here, here.
Take this.

Try and take
a good look at yourself.

(KITTY GASPS)

I really am invisible.

There, Mrs. Jackson.
Do you see?

No. No, I don't.
Not a darn thing.

Wait till I call Dick over.
It's a staggering success.

- Sit down, Miss...
- Kitty. Kitty Carroll.

Make yourself at home.
I'll be right back.

- You watch her, Mrs. Jackson.
- Watch what?

(MIRROR FALLS AND SHATTERS)

Seven years bad luck.
Now, don't you come near me, miss.

KITTY: Don't worry, cutie.
I'm going away from you.

- But Professor said you were to stay here.
- Not me. (CHUCKLES)

Growley, Growley.
Here I come.

Oh!

Excuse me, sir.
The professor just phoned.

He said, would you come over
right away?

He said to tell you
that he has done it.

- That's great.
- Now wait, just a minute.

No, I can't.
I've got to go over and not see somebody.

(SIGHS)

Pardon, sir.
Would you care to not have a cup of tea?

Eh...

Now then, Richard, I will show you
she has completely disappeared.

- Professor...
- Go away.

Don't interrupt.
You bore me.

- Now, can you see anyone?
- Neither hide nor hair.

- Uh, did you say, "she"?
- Yeah.

Permit me
to introduce you.

Ah... Miss Carroll,

allow me to present Dick Russell,
my young friend and patron.

Dick, this is Miss Kitty Carroll.
Don't be afraid.

- Shake hands.
- Shake hands with what?

Come, come, Miss Kitty.
Shake hands. Say hello.

- Really, she was here.
- Sure, sure. Of course she was.

- Maybe you better lie down for a while.
- Lie down? What nonsense!

Good heavens.
Maybe some reaction I didn't foresee.

Maybe she's fainted.

Where... Where are you, Miss... Miss Carroll?
Miss...

Where are you, Kitty?

Kitty, Kitty.
Kitty? Kitty.

Not you.
Miss Carroll.

Avast. Avant.
Out of me way.

"Thou troublest me.
Thy bones are marrowless."

Kitty.

Oh. Oh, there
you are, sir.

You'll be pleased to know that the
silverware is back from the bank,

the trunks are
all unpacked

and the slipcovers are off
throughout the entire house.

Yeah.
That's fine, George.

- We're closing up after all.
- Very good, sir.

We're what?

Mrs. Jackson.
Mrs. Jackson!

- What do you want?
- What have you done with her?

- What have I done?
- She's gone!

Of course, she's gone.
That's what I tried to tell you.

- Where? Where? Where? Where?
- How do I know?

- Didn't she say anything?
- Yes.

She said, "Growley, Growley.
Here I come."

But that...
That doesn't make sense.

"Growley, Growley. Here I... "
"Growley, Growley." Growley?

KITTY: Come, come, Mrs. Bates.
I'll finish that for you.

Snuffling and
sniffling in the buyers' faces.

Go on, get your things
and get out. You're fired.

Please, Mr. Growley.
Don't fire me.

Let me come back when I get rid of
this cold in my head.

GROWLEY: You'll never come back.
You're fired.

Eyes front, chin up, shoulders back.
Come on. Get going.

(GASP AND SCREAM)

(CUSTOMERS SCREAMING)

KITTY: Growley.

Growley. You miserable,
wicked man.

Bullying poor
little working girls,

firing them,
docking them and enjoying it.

You're docking a girl to pay for this too,
aren't you?

(BLUBBERS)

The day of reckoning
has come.

Now you'll see how it feels when
the shoe's on the other foot.

Oh, Mr. Growley.

If a girl's late,
you fine her.

If a girl's got a cold,
you fire her.

You certainly do
things the hard way.

There it goes.

And maybe you should
be sent after it.

- Please, whoever you are...
- I am the voice of your conscience.

Lean over the
windowsill, Growley.

- Oh, I...
- I said, lean over.

Eyes front, Mr. Growley.
Chin up.

Shoulder's back,
you worm.

You've always
had a kick coming.

And here's one for interest,
and one to grow on.

There. You've had that coming to you
for a long time.

I'm sick of you,
Mr. Growley,

and I'm sick of getting in and
out of these crummy dresses!

I'm sick of leering men buyers and
snooty women buyers.

I'm sick of the whole thing!

Well, well. If it isn't
my old pal, the time clock.

Here's something
to remember me by.

PAPERBOY: Paper! Paper!
Evening paper!

How do you do?

I should like some information
regarding a personal advertisement.

Sorry, sir,
but personal means personal.

Stick 'em up!

Oh, go on home
to your mother.

- I ain't got a mother.
- But I got a gun.

All right, boys. What do you want?
There's only 37.50 in the cash box.

We don't want cash.
We want the address of an ad.

The ad about
being made invisible.

That one was put in by
a loony called Gibbs.

Gibbs? Where
do we find him?

In the bughouse by rights,
but I've got his address.

Gimme that!

Pick 'em up,
butterfingers!

That's the kinda help
you get nowadays.

This is the joint.

Say, where did
you get this car?

I didn't get it.
Hammerhead got it.

Why'd you do that?

- Where did you get this car?
- Oh, I just picked it up.

Nice pickings.

Shh.

Say, what are we gonna talk to this
professor about anyway?

It don't make no difference,
as long as

you get the layout
of the invisible machine.

You're a scientist, Foghorn.
You're a smooth talker.

- Here, you better take this with ya.
- Put that away.

Scientists don't
carry tommy-guns.

FRANKIE: Say, maybe we should've
brought a butterfly net.

(DOORBELL BUZZES)

Don't trouble,
Mrs. Jackson.

I have nothing more important to do
than answer the door.

Suit yourself.

KITTY: Let me in
quickly, Professor.

Go away! I am not
speaking to you!

KITTY: Oh, don't be an
old stuffed shirt.

I had to go and
smack down the boss.

A fine reason for
becoming invisible.

The only reason.

Jobs are scarce,
and I can't afford to be fired.

Listen, Professor,
I've got to warn you that...

I am not interested.
I am highly displeased with you.

MAN: Have I the honor of addressing
Professor Gibbs?

My name is Hardwick Spencer.
I'm a fellow scientist.

I represent
a group in Mexico.

- Good, sir. Come right in.
- Thank you.

Go away!

- Now, wait...
- Not you, sir. Her!

- Her? Who's her?
- My first subject.

And I am annoyed with her and I wash
me hands of her.

You mean, you've already tried the
experiment and it works?

- KITTY: And how?
- Don't pay any attention to her.

I'll gladly show
you the machine.

Sir, I suppose you will be convinced
by a demonstration.

That's exactly the idea.
Have you ever been to Mexico?

- Mexico? Why, no.
- Oh, you'll like it.

A fine trip.

And the boys...
(CLEARS THROAT)

My associates
will give you a royal welcome.

Thank you
for the invitation.

KITTY: Invitation, my eye.

I saw them drive up.
They have guns.

- Mr. Spencer...
- That's a lie!

KITTY: Is it? Professor, ask him
how he knew where to find you.

Why, he saw the advertisement
in the paper.

- Of course, I did.
- KITTY: Naughty, naughty!

The ad didn't give the professor's
name or address.

She's right. How did you find me,
if I'm not too personal?

- Why, I...
- KITTY: You're a crook.

I'm a crook.
No, I'm a scientist!

KITTY: Back to Mexico,
you wolf in scientist's clothing!

Take it away! Don't do that!
Take it away!

KITTY: And don't you come back,
or I'll cut you dead.

Well, I suppose I should be grateful
to you for disposing of him like that.

Thank you and good-bye.

KITTY: Oh, come on, Professor.
Be a sport and forgive me.

Haven't I proved your experiment
a success?

I knew that beforehand.

I merely wished to utilize you
to convince somebody.

Gosh, I am sorry.

Well, is there time to show me
to this somebody

before I get
visible again?

(GROANS)

Just about.
I'll tell him we're coming over.

Dick Russell, please.
Tell him it's Professor Gibbs.

- Now what are you doing?
- KITTY: I'm dodging the draft.

(KITTY LAUGHS)

The man from Mars,
Professor Gibbs, sir.

Pardon sir. He seems to have passed out...
Seems to be out, sir.

What? Tell...

You're materializing.

- Go get your clothes on.
- Oh!

- My clothes are on!
- Nonsense.

- They're behind the screen.
- What screen?

He seems to be on one of those
things again, sir.

- He's nuts.
- He says you're nuts.

What?

Tell him a slight
complication has arisen.

The girl came back,
but now she's materialized.

If I can persuade her
to get undressed again,

I'll bring her right over.

The girl?
Bring her over undressed?

Why, Professor,
I'm ashamed of you!

Now what's up?

It's too delicate
to repeat, sir.

But part of it was that he
would bring the girl over.

Oh, no, he isn't!
We're leaving right now for the lodge.

We'll leave right now
for the lodge?

You mean to say, I have to cover
up everything else again, sir?

- Certainly, you have to cover it up.
- Oh, don't say that, sir.

Why don't you give the moths
a holiday, sir?

I've been in service for 25 years,
and I never... (GRUNTS)

I resign again, sir,
and again.

And again, and again.

Sometimes I suspect
that man of his isn't all there.

On the other hand,
you are.

What could have
gone wrong, I wonder?

You're not supposed
to be visible for another hour.

Well, I'm sorry,
Professor,

but at least I'll get back
to work so I can check out.

Yes, I suppose you must,

though it's very
awkward for me. Very!

Years of work, taking all that
money from him.

Never be able
to pay him now.

He'll think I'm balmy!

This would have solved everything.
Dear, dear, dear, dear.

Stop. You're
breaking my heart.

What you want me to do,
be invisible again?

Yes! But you wouldn't.

I don't suppose
I should expect...

But if you could get
the rest of the day off...

Okay,
I'll try Growley.

You are the nicest visible
I have ever met.

And we'll abolish
the time clock, too.

And, Mrs. Bates, don't forget
to call the little lady with the cold,

and tell her to stay in bed
until it's better.

- She can have her job back anytime.
- Yes, sir.

That's all, my dears,
except that in the future

- we'll serve tea every afternoon at 4:00.
- (PHONE RINGING)

You'll all like that,
won't you?

ALL: Yes, Mr. Growley.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to answer my phone.

- What's happened to Mr. Growley?
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hello, Miss Carroll.
How are you, my dear child?

Yes, of course
this is Mr. Growley.

Why,
you needn't have bothered to ask at all.

Certainly. Of course.
Take the whole weekend if you like.

And have a lovely time.
Bye-bye, my dear, and have fun.

How am I doin'?

It's you, Professor.
You reformed Growley.

In the name of all the
working girls, I thank you.

Now, now, I haven't time
for this sort of thing.

You promised to
be invisible again.

Okay, Professor.
You won't be seeing me in a few minutes.

He can't do this to me!

KITTY: Hold my hat, Professor.

Dick! Richard! Wait!
Wait, stop! Stop!

Richard,
you can't do this.

- Where are you going?
- To the lodge, fishing.

- Fishing? What for?
- Fish.

Fi-esh, fish.

Fish!

And me with an invisible woman
for him not to see.

Hello? Yeah, this is Foghorn.

What?
It's the boss.

The boss?
Not in town?

Great to hear
your voice, boss.

Where you talkin' from?

Oh, you're still
down there, huh? Well.

He's still in Mexico.

Well, we tried to get it,
but we met with kind of a complication.

Well, I'll complicate the three
of you into such small pieces,

your own mother couldn't
put you together again.

I want to be invisible,
so I can go home.

I got to see
the old home town again.

I got to smell the lake.
I got to hear traffic.

(SOBBING) I'm homesick.

- Now he's crying.
- Gosh, that's bad.

Last time he cried,
we had to have that triple funeral.

Now, we'll get
that machine or bust.

But how we gonna get
it over the border?

That's your worry, fathead!

Nobody understands me.
I'm sensitive.

That's what I am.

- Ever been to the big town?
- O'KLOTZ: No, señor.

I can almost hear
the Elevated right now,

the taxi drivers
bawling each other out,

the cash register
in the Gay Paree,

and the way the newsies
used to holler headlines

the morning after
we pulled a big job.

Señor, I do not know anything
about that,

but I have never
heard of a chemical formula

that would make
the human body unseen.

Watch your step, O'Klotz.

You're talking
to a lonesome guy,

and a homesick guy, too.

My gang's on the trail of an
invisible machine, see?

Si, si.

- And they're rushing it down here, see?
- Si, si.

You are going to set it up
and make it work, see?

Si, si.

Or you'll have to find the formula
how to put yourself together again, see?

Si, si.

What is all this, "Si, si"?
Are you Spanish?

I'm a Pomeranian!

Fishy, fishy in the brook,
master caught him with a hook.

Cooky fries him in a pan.

Phooey! What a smell!

(GRUNTS)

What a pull,
but here we are.

KITTY: What very
superior mountains!

Yeah. There's a very superior bush for
you to undress behind.

What for?

I don't want anyone but Richard to know
that you're here.

Oh, come on, let me go in this way and
scare him to death!

Do as I say, or when I bring you to,
I will give you the wrong face.

Hurry up.

KITTY: Why couldn't you have
done this in the desert?

It certainly would
have been warmer.

KITTY: Ouch!

Darn those roses!

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Watch where you're going,
will you, Philo?

Who could that be at this hour of the night,
disturbing my culinary art?

- Hurry up. There's somebody coming.
- KITTY: Kind of chilly.

I wonder how the nudists
stand it.

Shh!

Oh. Oh, it's you.

Yes, it's me, sunshine.

I thought we'd drop in
on young Richard for a bit.

"We"?

Uh, "we" in the sense of
visiting royalty.

Hmm.

(KITTY YELPS)

That door, you know,
the hinges need a little oiling, my boy.

Nonsense. The hinges
were oiled this morning.

(CAT GROWLS)

GIBBS: Oh. I suppose the cat
needs oiling too.

Cats and I
are mutually allergic.

Queer, isn't it?

Very, considering
you have one at home.

Hmm.

Not that I care,
but are you feeling all right?

I've never felt
better in me life.

(KITTY SNEEZES)

(COUGHS AND GULPS)

A little cold
coming on.

Beastly weather.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

Isn't it?

Mr. Russell likes it.
He says it makes the fish bite better.

You'll pardon an
old-fashioned hint,

but we weren't expecting
company up here.

As soon as I have elucidated
matters with Richard,

we will pop off.

Why do you
keep saying "we"?

I am referring
to the editorial "we."

(THUD)

GEORGE: Did something come
down the chimney?

Perhaps it
was Santa Claus.

Oh, yes, perhaps it was.
There is no Santa Claus!

That's right, there isn't, is there?
Months too early for him.

(KITTY SNEEZES)

- Now, what was that?
- Mice.

Mice! We never had
mice here before!

Hang up my coat for me, will you,
my dear fellow?

- Stop that, will you?
- I can't help it. I'm freezing.

Behave yourself!

Nothing like a spot
of brandy on a damp night.

Nothing like making yourself
at home, either.

Hmm.

What...

Did you shoot
that elk?

No, I think it
was born there.

- What goes on...
- (STUTTERS) Have one with me.

Well, thank you.
Perhaps I'd better.

Maybe I...
Thank you. Thank you.

(KITTY COUGHS)

(GIBBS COUGHS)

My. Went down
the wrong way, huh?

(CHUCKLES)
That's good.

(KITTY AND GIBBS COUGH)

I hope you
don't choke.

(COUGHS)

Thank you.
That's enough, old man.

- (KITTY HICCUPING)
- (HICCUPING)

What are you,
a ventriloquist?

- KITTY: Sometimes.
- Sometimes.

That's right, of course.

Ventriloquism. I...

I remember I picked it up at college,
from the fellow next door.

Well, for a minute
you had me worried there.

- Do you see what I see?
- He also dabbled in magic.

Help! Help!
Mr. Russell!

Spooks! Spooks,
Mr. Russell!

Really, Miss Kitty?
You have no control

KITTY: I'm too cold
to have any control.

Ah, well, if you're cold,
I suppose you'll have to put something on.

Now...

I wouldn't drink too much
if I were you.

KITTY: Why not?
It warms me up.

There is no telling
what reaction

alcohol may have upon
your invisibility.

Now...

It's raining.

I'll have to bring your things in
before they get soaked.

Here, take this, will you?

(RICHARD WHISTLING)

Mr. Russell. Mr. Russell.
Mr. Russell.

- What's the matter with you?
- The professor is up here, sir.

- The professor. Here?
- Yes, and he's acting very peculiarly, sir.

I... I... Frankly,
I'm frightened.

Well now, George, we both know he's cracked.
What's he doing?

I don't know what he's doing now,
but just a minute ago, sir,

while I was in there,
he was trying to...

He had a...
It was a long...

It came out of a...
I don't know, sir.

Now, it can't be
as bad as that.

Yes, please, come on
and let me show you.

Will you please,
Mr. Russell?

All I ask is a little
cooperation.

Do you see
what I mean, sir?

RICHARD: Where'd those clothes come from?
GEORGE: They're his.

- You're sure you're all right?
- Oh, sir!

- Well, we'll just have to humor him.
- Yes, yes, sir.

- And you too.
- Ye... Oh, Mr. Russell.

Oh, Professor.

Well, a new tailor,
Professor?

Aye? What...
Oh, well, my boy, I, uh...

The rain, you know. I...

I was afraid
of catching cold.

It's good you brought something
to change into.

Huh? Uh...

Oh! Oh, they're not mine.

No, no, no, of course,
my dear boy, I...

I can quickly explain (GRUNTS)
if, uh, if I can see you alone for a moment.

- Alone, eh? What for?
- I've done it, my lad!

I've brought her!
She's here.

Now just take it easy,
Professor, and everything'll be all right.

(GASPS) Mr. Russell! Look!

(STAMMERING)
There it goes again!

(EXCLAIMS)

KITTY:
Stop staring, stupid.

Give him this.
Go on, give it to him.

Here, George. Up!

Here.

GIBBS: I hope you're ashamed
of yourself, young woman.

- Young?
- KITTY: Of course I'm young.

Now, now, you don't need another drink.
You haven't fainted!

KITTY: Okay. Here, handsome.
You don't look so hot yourself.

Oh, that's very
thoughtful of you.

Oh. Drinks, decanters,
ventriloquists, magicians...

Come on, George.
Pull yourself together.

Tell him it's nothing supernatural.
Just a simple little invention.

Oh, oh, oh. I beg your pardon, sir.
I shouldn't have given way this way. I should...

(GASPING)

Look now, sir!
Flying cats!

(KITTY MEOWING)

Sure I can fly.
Here, catch him!

- (EXCLAIMING AND GASPING)
- (HISSING)

Talking cats!

Oh, here I go again, folks.

Whoever heard of such a thing?
It's only an invisible girl talking.

Come on, George, get hold of yourself.
Go on up and lie down.

Oh, thank you, sir.
It would be a pleasure.

(STAMMERING)

I've been in service all my life.
My father's been in service before me.

And I've never been
implicated in such a mess...

(GEORGE WHIMPERING)

Professor, I owe you
an apology.

I thought you were crazy.
I never dreamed...

Oh, I still don't believe it.

KITTY: Say, Professor, is this the guy
who's going to promote your cute little machine?

Ah, uh, yes, yes, of course.

Pardon me.
Uh, uh, Miss Carroll, Mr. Richard Russell.

- How do you do?
- KITTY: (SCOFFS) I don't think much of him.

He's no businessman.
He's a playboy.

I've seen his pictures
in the papers. (SNICKERS)

Ah, they call him
"The Patsy of the Pacific."

Yeah? Well, listen,
Miss Nothing.

I'll have you know
I'm perfectly capable of

handling any business deals
of any kind or size.

KITTY: Oh, I see.
It's only women you can't handle.

Yeah, beautiful women.

But then you wouldn't know
anything about that.

KITTY: Oh, is that so?

Sure, any girl who'd become invisible
can't be very easy on the eyes.

KITTY: Professor, I insist on being
visible again right now!

Impossible, my dear. You will
have to wait until morning.

KITTY: Hey, look out!
(GASPS)

You'll stay good
and invisible till then.

I wasn't taking any chances.

Besides, you'd hardly want to take
shape before your clothes dry.

You... You don't mean
she's really...

Yeah, I mean she's really.
Hey, hey, no, you don't!

I better make you
some strong coffee.

KITTY: (HICCUPS) I don't know what's the matter.
I never liked to drink before.

Fight the impulse,
young woman.

That desire must be caused
by something in the treatment.

Well, well! Now I know the meaning of
the expression, "Alone at last."

KITTY: Hey,
you almost stepped on me.

Why don't you carry
a red lantern or something,

or at least put some clothes on
so I can see where you're not?

But then you're hiding
your stylish, stout figure.

KITTY: I'll spike that ugly rumor
in three hooks and a zipper.

Darn it,
they're still soaked.

- How very convenient.
- KITTY: At least the stockings are dry.

Now to find my feet.

This is worse than
dressing in the dark.

There.

Now, we'll see
who's stalling.

It so happens that
by profession I'm a model.

RICHARD: What for, piano legs?

KITTY: Any time you hear
of a piano with legs like mine, sonny,

run, do not walk,
to your nearest music store.

There.

Apologies are now in order.

Does the rest of you follow
that same interesting pattern?

None of your business.

(KITTY SIGHS)

- Well, now where are you?
- At the end of the cigarette.

You know, when it rains like this,
all the roads around here get washed out.

So, you and the professor
better plan to spend the night.

Just because I have
good-looking legs?

No, because the roads
are washed out.

Besides, the professor and I
have all this business to discuss.

And because I have
good-looking legs. (CHUCKLES)

If I knew where your neck was,
I'd wring it.

I think I'll have
just another little one.

(KITTY MOANING)

Oh, I feel dizzy.
It must be the altitude.

Sure, altitude.
Spelled B-R-A-N-D-Y.

(MOANING)

Call the professor.
Everything's spinning.

(MOANS)

- Hey, Professor!
- GIBBS: What? What?

- What's the matter?
- She says it's the altitude.

She says? Quick. We'll have
to get her to bed.

Okay, let me.

I... Uh-oh. (CHUCKLES)

- I forgot she's...
- Yeah, she certainly is.

Come on,
hold out your arm.

KITTY: (LAUGHS)
I can't stand up on my good-looking legs.

Whoopee!

That's all right.
Just a little too much altitude.

(KITTY SIGHING)

- Better take her to the showers.
- Mmm.

Upsy-daisy.

Not very heavy.

KITTY: You think you're
a great big strong man.

We better
get her to bed.

(KITTY MOANING)

- Hey, what's going on here?
- I'm leaving, sir, without notice.

Ah, don't be ridiculous.
You're getting to be a problem child.

Either the professor goes
or I go.

He has a personality
like a temporary filling.

Now, the professor's
just an old...

I don't mind pole vaulting
decanters and flying cats,

but when it comes
to invisible women...

George, this invention means
a lot of money to me.

When I start paying you again,
I'll give you a raise.

- What?
- A raise.

Oh, well, thank you.
That's well worth looking forward to.

I'll reconsider.

You know something,
I can hardly wait to see her face.

Most fortunately for you,
sir, this one is invisible,

and I sincerely hope
she remains that way.

Why?

Because looking at a woman is
only the first step to trouble.

You look, she smiles.
You soften, she sues.

Invisible women!

These days you can't
believe your own eyes,

even if you don't
see anything.

(DOOR CLATTERS)

- Oh...
- Shh!

- (CLATTERING)
- (EXCLAIMING)

Just stop that!
Do you want them down here?

- Be quiet.
- (GROANING)

Oh, my bunion.

Hey! That's it.

- (CLATTERING)
- (EXCLAIMS)

- Why didn't you...
- I didn't do it on purpose.

Pardon me.

(WHISPERS) Come on!

Look, a safe.

(WHIRRING)

Ooh, boy, look how it goes around
and in and out and down and up.

Gosh, just like
the world of tomorrow.

Come on, come on,
get busy.

Take it apart, but slow,

so I can diagram how to put it
back together again.

But keep it quiet. Shh.

(GASPS)

- Help! Police!
- (GROANS)

Oh! Oh!

Oh, let me out! Oh!

(BANGING ON DOOR)

(YAWNING)

RICHARD: George.

Here I am.

Oh! (STAMMERS)
Your breakfast, sir.

George, the professor said
she'd be visible this morning.

If she is,
I'll be invisible by tonight.

- Let's take a look.
- Oh, please,

- let well enough be well enough.
- Shh.

Oh, my goodness.

Doggone it. Where is she?

Look, sir.

Aw, Kitty.

KITTY:
Why don't you both come in and then knock?

Oh, my head.

My head.

Pardon me, madame,
you haven't any head.

KITTY: That's what you think.
It's as big as all outdoors.

Oh, dear, I...
I need an aspirin.

Get me a nurse. Get me a doctor.
Get me something.

Oh, where's the professor?

George, we better
get the professor.

What for? To cheer up
a lot of bedclothes?

- Professor!
- Professor!

Oh, Professor!

Oh, Professor!

- Professor!
- RICHARD: Hey, Professor!

GEORGE: Oh, Professor!
RICHARD: Professor!

KITTY: Oh, darn it.
I'm still invisible.

RICHARD: Professor!
KITTY: Hey, Professor!

RICHARD: Professor!
KITTY: Whoo-hoo!

RICHARD: Professor!
GEORGE: Professor!

- Hey, Professor!
- KITTY: Oh, Professor, where are you?

(EXCLAIMING) Professor!

- Professor!
- RICHARD: Professor!

GIBBS: Did someone say, "Professor"?

- No.
- It's me, Kitty.

GIBBS: I thought I heard somebody.

KITTY: Professor, look at me.
I can't see me at all.

Ah. (TUTTING)
That's too bad. By George, I was right!

I warned you to go easy
on the spirits.

KITTY:
How right you were!

When there is an affinity
between two molecular forces

and the natural reagent
is chemically counter...

Aw, have a heart, Professor.

Well, there is the result.
Chemically invisible.

KITTY: Stop broadcasting.
I simply refuse to stay this way.

- (THUD)
- (KITTY GROANS)

- Now what's the matter?
- I stubbed my toe.

Professor.

Dear Professor, you've got to get me
out of this, please!

- I've got to be visible!
- Yes, think of my suspense.

Yeah, we'll rush back to my laboratory,
and I'll fix you up.

George, pack everything up.
We're leaving.

Yeah, we'll all rush,
eh, Richard?

Let's get a move on.

I'm tired of being
a piece of laundry.

Your car is ready, Miss.

- It says here we're in Mexico.
- I know that.

You don't think that guy at the
customs gate was speaking Gaelic.

Hey, boys!

(GUNS COCKING)

It's all right.
It's Foghorn.

All right, boys, get those crates off,
but treat them gently.

- Got it, huh?
- You bet, boss.

There it is, right down
to the last gadget.

Yeah, and I've got it diagrammed
on paper and everything.

- The... The machine!
- It's gone!

Maybe it's made itself invisible.

That's hardly possible.

(BANGING ON DOOR)

And I wonder
what that was.

KITTY: If you had any sense,
you'd look and see.

- (SIGHS)
- RICHARD: Mrs. Jackson!

Really, Mrs. Jackson!

What an odd place
to spend the night.

The formula
for the injection!

Richard, help me.
Quick, quick!

They can't use the machine
without these.

- What luck!
- KITTY: What do you mean, "luck"?

What about me?

Do I have to go through the rest
of my life like this?

Really, Professor,
I think she looks much better like this.

KITTY: (GASPS) You have a nerve,
you fishless fisherman!

Now children, children.

What are you gonna
do about me?

Experiment till I find out
what's keeping you invisible so long.

Yes, but how long's
that gonna take you?

I haven't a notion.

It took me 10 years
to perfect the machine...

Ah...

(LAUGHING)

Now what are you
laughing at?

The chap who took it
without the injection, you know.

Oh, my dear,

that machine is apt to do
the strangest things to people.

(LAUGHING)

Ah. Señor, this machine,
I love her!

She's so beautiful.

If only I could to meet the man
who make her,

I would kiss him,
I think.

Just stick to business.
If it works, I'll kiss him for you.

Thank you, señor.

Ah.

She is ready,
I think.

You think.

You boys sure about the dame
it made invisible?

- Sure, boss, positive.
- Oh, Foghorn seen her!

Okay. Foghorn,
you're elected.

You see, I told you.

Boss...

I don't want
to be invisible.

You heard me.

First we will start
with the head.

Never mind the head.
That's useless.

Well, then we will start
with the neck.

Good.

(GULPS) Boss...

What about...

Oh, no, boss.
Foghorn understands those things.

- He's scientific!
- I'm underweight.

- BLACKIE: Foghorn!
- I am.

There's not many people
I'd let try this machine first.

Now get going!

Uh, thanks, boss.
That's great.

HERNANDEZ: Señor Foghorn,
in back of the screen, please.

In back of the screen?

- HERNANDEZ: Si, si.
- Okay.

BLACKIE: Now get going.

(WHIRRING)

How does it feel?

(FOGHORN LAUGHING
BOISTEROUSLY)

- He likes it.
- He always likes it when he's lit up.

- But I can still see him.
- BILL: So can I!

- So can I!
- So can O'Klotz.

Something that should be here
is missing, I think.

I thought you guys
got everything!

BOTH: Oh, we did, boss.
Didn't we, Foghorn?

(HIGH-PITCHED)
Why, sure, we did.

What's that?

I said, "Sure, we did."

Or did I?

Something has gone wrong,
I think.

FOGHORN: Hey, you!

Give me back my pipes!

You let go of me and I'll fight
the pack of you!

Let go of him.

Ooh!

Take him down to the cellar
and let him cool off,

and then you do what you should
have done in the first place.

You guys go back
and get me the professor,

or I'll have all of you
singing soprano.

Yeah, boss.

- Get his head.
- I got it.

Fires in July. You are fussy.

You're a nuisance, that's what you are.
An invisible female nuisance.

I, uh... I didn't know
you two were talking.

- KITTY: We're not.
- We're not.

Uh, why the fire?

KITTY: Well, there were
so many cracks

about how awful my dress looked without a head.
I took it off.

But Tarzan over there
is still as disagreeable as ever.

Oh, well, you can
both cheer up

because I think I found
the formula to make you visible again.

- KITTY: Oh, Professor!
- That's swell.

So Dick will be on his way to Washington
with the patents,

and you'll never have
to see each other again.

Isn't that nice?

So, uh, try and put up with each other for just
a little while longer. Hmm?

Hmm.

KITTY: So you're going
to Washington, huh?

Yes.

What's it to you?

KITTY: You should have
been there years ago.

You've got the personality
of a politician.

For a person with no personality at all,
you've got no right to talk.

(KITTY SNIFFLING)

And stop crying.

I'm not crying.
I sniffled.

Even invisible ladies can have manners.
Use your handkerchief.

I'm no kangaroo.
I haven't got pockets in my skin.

Well, here, use mine.

KITTY: Ouch!

I'm sorry.
Did I hurt you?

- (KITTY SIGHS)
- Well, did I?

I shook my head.

(CHUCKLES)
I can't see that.

- Wait a minute.
- KITTY: Where are you going?

I got an idea that will change
the whole complexion of this thing.

Professor's not the only inventor around here.
Put this on.

- Why?
- Well, at least I can see you nod.

- No, that looks silly.
- It's the way they're wearing them.

(SLAPS)

Stand up so I can see
what you look like.

Is that all
the taller you are?

Oh, silly, I'm only trying to find out
which is the front of this thing.

- Is this better?
- Much.

What color did you say
your eyes were?

Well, if you're so interested,
why don't you stick around and find out?

That's just what
I'm going to do.

Hey!

Uh, that's my hand,
you know.

Yeah, I know. Do you mind
if I borrow it for a minute?

Mmm-mmm.

It's a very nice hand.
It's very soft.

Mmm-hmm.

Very pleasant to the taste.

Um, why do you
close your eyes?

I can't see you.
I can at least imagine.

I know, I'm just a ghost
where you're concerned.

(SIGHS) I'm nothing
but a nothing.

If this hand
is any criterion,

you must have lovely lips,
beautiful hair, nice...

Thank you, Richard.
That's a very charming compliment.

- Oh, it's you.
- Look, reagent to counteract alcohol.

Kitty, my girl, I'll have you visible
before you can say Jack...

KITTY: Robinson.

I'm almost afraid to be myself.
It's... It's like making a blind date.

What have you got to lose?
You've already seen me.

You know, in a way, Richard,
I'm sorry to do this.

You know, if more women were invisible,
life would be much less complicated.

Mmm.

And much less interesting.

- That belongs on the lamp, sir.
- I know it.

It looks much better
with a bulb in it.

- RICHARD: What's the gun for?
- It's a damp night, sir.

Do you always wear
a shotgun to keep you dry?

Being damp out,
it's foggy.

And being foggy, it's a good cover for
the return attack of the thugs

who took the machine.

I intend to patrol the grounds, sir,
which at least makes sense.

(GEORGE CLEARS THROAT)

We needed that hole
for ventilation, sir.

Oh, dear, oh, dear.
I'm so excited!

Sit still.

It will only take
a minute. Here.

You forgot to say "ouch."

I'm so worried about what he'll
think of me.

I think he'll think
he likes you.

Yeah, but he's always
liked glamour girls

with expensive clothes
and furs and things,

and all I've got is
this wrinkled old dress.

What you really need is a new outfit
to make an entrance in.

Well, you needn't
rub it in.

Wonderful thing,
these shopping services, really.

(GRUNTS) Guaranteed glamorous
or your money back.

KITTY: Oh!

Open it!

Oh, Professor!

Oh!

Oh!

- Oh, Professor. (KISSES)
- Wait, wait. Save those for Richard.

- I charged it to his account.
- Well, I don't care. You're a darling. (KISSES)

Wait, control yourself!

Get dressed
and knock him cold!

Oh, boy, will I?

Oh, isn't that lovely?

Just remember one thing,
young woman.

No alcohol or liquor
of any sort.

When you dissipate,
you disappear.

- Hey, buddy.
- Huh?

- Oh, yes, sir.
- Have you got a match?

Uh, why yes, indeed, sir.

- Hold it, will you, bud?
- Why, certainly, sir.

Cert...

(GROANS)

Hey, you frightened him.
Do something.

(EXCLAIMS)

Oh! Look at my hair.
It's a mess.

(HUMMING)

Gosh, she's taking
her time.

Professor, what does
she look like?

Ooh, a girl, you know.
(STUTTERS)

I never have paid much attention
to women myself.

She ever say anything
about me?

Well, not a word.

Oh, she didn't, huh?

Of course,
it's a matter of complete indifference to me.

I'm through
with women, anyway.

- (DOOR CLOSES)
- Well, here she comes.

No, stay right
where you are.

I want to get
a good look at you.

Kitty, this
is wonderful.

This is even better
than I expected.

(THUD)

- Dick!
- Stick 'em up.

- How dare you, huh?
- Frankie, get her off me!

Here, hold this.

Come on, lady.
Be a gentleman about this.

- Oh, stop! (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
- Come on.

Leave me alone,
you hear?

Give me that. Come on.

Where are we going?

Well, you wouldn't trust
a beautiful dame like that

with a couple of lugs like us,
would you?

- Perhaps you're right.
- Well, come on!

Before I resign, sir,
permit me to state

there are prowlers about
and they've got my gun.

(MUMBLES) Oh, my!

Pleasant evening
for a drive.

Mmm-hmm. We're not going for a drive.
We're being taken for a ride.

Oh.
Why don't you look where you're going?

- Hey, what...
- (MUMBLES)

- George, did you have to throw the fish?
- It's Friday, sir.

Now before you say,
"Where am I?"

you're right here
in your own front hall, sir.

You're quite all right.
Good grief!

Kitty and the professor!
They got them!

If they did, well, good riddance,
I'll say, sir.

- (DOORBELL BUZZES)
- Uh, pardon me, please.

Whatever it is,
we don't want any.

I want Mr. Russell.

- Mr. Richard Russell.
- He's out tuna hunting.

- (STAMMERS) Huh?
- RICHARD: Who is it?

I don't know, sir, but it sounds
like Jenny Lind.

- RICHARD: Well, let him in.
- Come in.

I'm Mr. Russell.

I can tell you where they took the girl
and the professor.

(MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)
For the love of Pete, where?

Down at Blackie Cole's
hideout in Mexico.

He's got
the invention, too.

George, get the airport.
Call the airport, we're leaving.

Oh, airport!

- No, on the phone!
- Oh, excuse me.

You don't know what
this means to me, Mr...

- (STUTTERS) What's your name?
- It used to be Foghorn.

(GASPS)

- How much farther is it?
- About five miles.

I hope the professor hasn't shown them
how to use the machine.

Well, as soon as he does,
Blackie will bump both of them off.

That is, unless the professor
talks Blackie to death first.

So you see,
the entire principle

is a combination of chemical, biological,
and dynamic influencing.

Cut out the stalling!

For an hour, you've been
using big words.

Yes, Professor, for the love of Mike,
cut out the stalling.

I wanna go home.

You'll both go home on a slab if this guy
don't come through.

I want to be invisible.

I don't blame you.

It would be
a decided improvement.

(SNICKERS)

Now, Professor,

you either play ball with us
or we get rough with the lady.

Play ball?

I was never
any good at games.

Oh, you know what I mean.

Come clean about
how that machine works.

Make me invisible,
or else...

I would very much
rather "else."

I did not invent that machine to make
killers like you invisible.

BLACKIE: How do you know
I'm a killer?

GIBBS: You have all the
earmarks, my friend.

The constricted
cerebellum,

the receding
frontal bone,

the Lombrosian earlobe.

- I got all that, huh?
- Mmm-hmm.

And you are also
given to sudden

and unexpected
outbursts of weeping.

Well, what do you know?

You'd cry, too,
if you was exiled like me.

Sometimes I think
I can hardly stand it any longer.

FRANKIE: Hey, lady!

- That stuff will melt your bridgework.
- Uh... (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Impossible.
I haven't any bridgework.

Isn't he silly, Professor?
I don't feel a thing.

The reagent must be
still functioning.

There's a molecular antagonism,
you know.

I don't get
the scientific lingo,

- but alcohol used to be my business.
- Uh...

But that stuff
is practically T.N.T.

Oh, in that case...
(SCOFFS)

BLACKIE: Lady, have a heart.

BILL: I've seen them drink hair tonic,
I've seen them drink vanilla,

but never this!

Boss, look!

Look!

Attagirl!

KITTY: Take this

and that!

Here I am. If you move fast,
you can still catch me in the dress.

Oh, faster than that.

Here I am.

No, no, no. Over here.

(KITTY LAUGHS)

I don't know
my own strength.

Strike one!

KITTY: (WHISPERING)
Look out, shorty, you're next.

Better put that down
or you'll break it.

There. Now you look
like a fish.

Blackie! Blackie! Blackie!

KITTY: You big fish.

A little bit of this
will put you right to sleep.

(KITTY LAUGHS)

You're even dizzier
than you look.

Strike two!

KITTY: And now
to black out Blackie.

What do you say, Blackie?

How about you and I going over this room
with your fine-tooth comb?

That's the only way
you'll ever find me.

(LAUGHS) How to have fun
at parties.

Why be a wallflower?

You, too, can be invisible
in six easy lessons.

Amaze your friends.
Amaze yourself.

Now, just follow me.

Come on, Blackie.

You may not be able to catch me,
but you might catch on to the trick.

Over here.

Well, I've always wondered
how this thing works.

My, but it's pretty,
isn't it?

Come on, Blackie.
Come on, let's look at this closer.

This way. Here I am.

Now the whole secret
is to touch the wire cylinder.

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

That must be quite
a shock to you.

Strike three! You're out!

- KITTY: How am I doing?
- Fine. Untie me.

KITTY: Not yet, Professor.

There are more of them outside.
You're safer here.

KITTY: Whee! Set them up
in the other alley!

Miss Kitty!

KITTY: (CHUCKLES)
Yes, Professor.

GIBBS: Are you all right?
KITTY: Never felt better.

Look, I'm mistress
of all I survey!

GIBBS: Good.

Something seems to be
the matter with my feet.

- KITTY: (CHUCKLES) They're all tied up.
- Huh?

Oh. I never thought of that.

KITTY: Hey, somebody's coming.
I think it's...

Yes, it's Dick!

He can't rescue me
this easy, he can't.

If he wants me,
let him fight for me.

Well, you take the back door
and I'll take the front door.

- Yeah, and I'll be in Brooklyn before you.
- Oh, no, you don't.

Open up in there!

- We'll scare them out.
- Yeah, we'll scare them.

(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
Those are the noisiest grasshoppers I ever heard.

Christopher Columbus!
We're being shot at!

(GUN FIRING)

KITTY: Help! Help!

- It's Kitty. We've got to go to her.
- No, no, no.

Let's try and make her
come to us.

Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.

Here, Kitty.
(GRUNTS) Here, Kitty.

Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.

Here, Kitty.

It serves you right.

That's what you get for putting me
in that Turkish bath

and turning me
into a tenor.

You double-crossed me.

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

(IN DEEP VOICE)
Sure, I double-crossed you.

You had it coming to you.

Uh...

Gee!

I got my pipes back.

Thanks, boss.

(HIGH-PITCHED)
That's all right.

Let bygones be bygones.

(GRUNTS)

Now my pipes are gone.

KITTY: (SHOUTS) Help!

I don't know
why I should be afraid.

- (TIRE POPS)
- (GRUNTS)

Professor, where's Kitty?

KITTY: No, no, not that!
Anything, but that!

- What was that?
- That was Kitty.

KITTY: Help, help!
I'm drowning!

(EXHALES)
Where are you?

KITTY: Right beside you.
(KISSES AND CHUCKLES)

We fell for each other
in a big way after all, didn't we?

You're all wet,
but I love you.

(CHUCKLES)

Well, he may have
Mrs. Russell's coloring,

but he definitely resembles
our side of the family, sir.

He has your eyes.

- Oh, yes, my eyes exactly.
- I'm not so sure about that.

Who do you think he looks like,
Professor?

A bit like me,
don't you think?

(KITTY AND RICHARD LAUGHING)

(GROANS)

Hereditary.