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Previously on Las Vegas...
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I'm A.J. Cooper, and I just bought the place.
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Some of you will stay, and some of you will go.
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We're all toast. I feel it.
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- Hey, Mike.
- Hey, Mr. Cooper.
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Ah, "Cooper."
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Such a kiss-ass.
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How long you worked here, Polly?
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Long enough to see lot of hot, young girl
turn into stinky old skank.
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00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:19,951
Thank you for sharing.
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Why are you telling
everybody I'm pregnant?
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00:00:21,561 --> 00:00:24,048
It's great news, Delinda.
People are happy for us.
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I don't know anybody who's
actually had a baby on purpose.
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- This whole thing isn't real to you yet, is it?
- The baby isn't born until like next year.
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It just feels like he's not taking
this baby seriously, Mike.
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Piper Nielsen.
I wanted to introduce myself.
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Concierge Cooper poached from the maloofs.
Oh, strong handshake.
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Nice eye contact. Long, thick lashes.
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I don't date older guys.
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That's good to know.
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Cpr, lamaze, licking techniques...
i am gonna know more
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00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:54,288
About parenting than just about
anybody, including you.
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I think it's latching, not licking.
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To each his own.
Hey, hey! Guys, guys, guys!
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Hey, hey, careful!
Hey!
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Thing's a thousand years old, yes,
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from the qin dynasty,
if that means anything to you.
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Wow, look at that.
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Cooper's really going out of his way to impress
these investors from Macau, isn't he?
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That's smart, linking his interests in the Montecito
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and the shining dragon resort and casino?
Macau is the future.
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Look at this.
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So did you know that in the
first six months of a baby's life,
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they can distinguish more sounds than
they can when they're fully grown?
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- I did not know that.
- Yeah, so they can
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adapt to any human language.
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That's fascinating... why the
sudden interest in parenting?
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D said that I wasn't
taking the baby seriously.
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And I ran out of magazines the other day
when I was sitting on the pot.
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I hate when that happens.
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She left a parenting book sitting there,
so I started reading it, and I gotta tell you...
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The miracle of life, dude, is amazing!
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- I mean, truly amazing.
- I tried to tell you.
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Yeah, I know, but back then
it just didn't feel real.
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But now it's like there's a baby moving
around in there. I felt it kicking the other day.
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Mikey, I cannot wait to meet this kid.
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I can't wait to get
this thing out of me, Sam.
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I pee every ten minutes, my back is killing me,
and I have heartburn that never goes away.
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Who doesn't make u-Turns?
That's american!
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That's american like porn and apple pie.
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Are you even listening to me?
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Yeah, we all know your nipples
hurt and you're nauseous.
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Why don't you pay attention to me for once?
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You made an illegal u-Turn
in a crosswalk with kids in it.
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Yeah, with kids. I had to tell those little
kids to get out of the way.
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Just pay it and stop complaining, okay?
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That's not gonna happen. I gotta fight it.
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- Where are you going?
- I gotta go find my star witness.
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Carter, I need something!
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Hey, Mandy. You're still here.
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Yeah, my dad's still organizing
the luggage in the trunk,
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So I ran in to get those earrings that
you showed me in the jewelry store.
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- Ooh, hot!
- Listen, I better get back to work.
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But hopefully, I'll be able to see
you and your parents next year.
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Can I get a picture of us?
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I want to show everyone back home
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the person who made my first
trip to sin city so much fun.
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Okay, fine. Where do you want me?
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Over here?
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Excuse me. Could you take our picture?
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Oh, sure.
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Oh, wait, you know what would be so cool?
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If we could take the picture of me playing.
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No, no, no, no.
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I know I'm not 21, but it's just one picture.
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Please, please, please, please, please?
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- Okay, fine.
- Thank you!
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Wow, nice photo, really. I mean,
good use of positive and negative space.
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If it weren't depicting an illegal act,
we could frame it, Mr. Mccoy.
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Come on, the machine didn't even pay out.
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Win or lose, the girl's a minor,
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and Piper knowingly allowed her
to gamble in your casino.
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- Okay, what are we looking at?
- You've got two options.
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- Either pay the fine...
- Which is how much?
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A million bucks?
Are you kidding me?
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There's always option number two.
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What's up?
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Mandy Freemont.
Nice girl.
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- So you did know her pretty well?
- Too well.
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Her and her parents hounded me all weekend.
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So you also knew that she wasn't 21?
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Yeah, I know she's not allowed
to play slot machines, but...
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But you let her play anyway?
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Danny, she was driving me crazy.
I was just trying to get rid of her.
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Well, you should know that
the woman who took the photo
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was an undercover gaming
enforcement officer.
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- I screwed up, didn't I?
- Piper, you've been a good employee,
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- and everybody likes you.
- No, Danny, Danny, it was a dumb mistake.
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I promise I will never let
anything like that happen again. Please!
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I'm sorry. I gotta let you go.
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Danny.
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If you need a reference, you can call me.
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Las Vegas 514
"Secrets, Lies and Lamaze"
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The "Vegas Team"
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Transcript : www.Yyets.Net
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Synchronization : Flolo
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http://www.thevegasteam.xdir.fr
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h
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ht
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htt
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http
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http:
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http:/
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http://
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http://t
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http://th
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http://the
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http://thev
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http://theve
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http://thevega
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http://thevegas
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http://thevegast
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http://thevegaste
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http://thevegastea
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http://thevegasteam
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http://thevegasteam.
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http://thevegasteam.x
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http://thevegasteam.xd
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http://thevegasteam.xdi
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http://thevegasteam.xdir
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http://thevegasteam.xdir.
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http://thevegasteam.xdir.f
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http://thevegasteam.xdir.fr
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http://thevegasteam.xdir.fr
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I no want go with you, Sam.
Rather wide butt with angry porcupine.
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Well, you have to, because you were
in the car. You're my only eyewitness.
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Yeah, I know. You saw kids and sped up.
Lucky they run fast.
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Policeman should arrest you,
not give you ticket.
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Okay, here's your story...
no kids, no crosswalk. Remember that.
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You want Polly to lie under oats?
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Yes, of course! I mean, you may not have to.
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The copy may not show up,
and without his testimony,
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- they'll probably drop the whole thing.
- No, court scare me. You ever see judge Judy?
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- All right, how much?
- You say how much.
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- 500.
- No way. I make that in one hour.
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- Give happy time to special client.
- A thousand. Come on.
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Okay, but I have two hour,
then big cuticle disaster.
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Take me all day like
foreskin on cape Buffalo.
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- You'll be back. I promise.
- Okay.
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00:06:05,668 --> 00:06:07,520
So I heard you fired Piper.
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I had no choice, man...
how did you know that?
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Piper told me.
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She understood but was really upset.
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I feel terrible about it,
but what was I supposed to do?
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And please do not say anything to Delinda.
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- She's gonna hate me.
- Yeah, of course.
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She and Piper have become pretty close
over the last couple of months.
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- Hate coming right at ya!
- Danny mccoy.
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What do you have to say for yourself?
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How can you put your head on
your pillow and sleep at night?
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I can answer that for you...
you won't.
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I had no... I had no choice, okay?
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It was the gaming commission.
They came down on me.
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It was either fire her or pay a
million dollar fine.
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- What do you want me to do?
- What's a million dollars to the Montecito?
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That would be fiscally irresponsible.
She's only been with us for a few months.
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What's wrong? You okay?
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Sorry. Acid reflux.
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You still having the heartburn?
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24/7.
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I just wanna go home and lie down.
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Yeah, but, uh, we can't bail
on parenting class.
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Why not?
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'Cause I'm totally psyched
for parenting class!
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- Really?
- Yeah! Hold on one second.
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Hey, Cooper, what's going on?
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I'll be right there.
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Duty calls, babe, but, uh, so...
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We're on?
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I guess I can be miserable
there instead of home.
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That's my... that's my girl.
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There's something you need to tell me?
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She allowed a minor to gamble in the casino.
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I see.
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Gaming commission caught her red-Handed.
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- Did you have any other options?
- A fine.
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- How much?
- Million.
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I'd say they were trying
to send us a message.
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Look, I know how much everybody
liked Piper around here.
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But given the circumstances,
i didn't have much choice.
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- You did the right thing, Danny.
- I know. I know.
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Now, hire her back.
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'Scuse me?
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Hire Piper back.
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- What about the gaming commission?
- I'll take care of it.
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00:08:05,050 --> 00:08:09,943
Furthermore, I'm ordering you
to pay a fine in the amount of $275,
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00:08:09,944 --> 00:08:11,820
plus three days community service.
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00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:14,384
We be here all day.
You told me ten minute.
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I going to punch you in the ovary.
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00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:20,665
Next up, violation number k458q75.
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00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,384
Samantha jane Marquez.
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00:08:22,385 --> 00:08:24,372
Yes, your honor, I'm here.
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Right. And so is officer hayes, I see.
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00:08:27,628 --> 00:08:30,097
- Oh, crap.
- I thought you said cop not show up.
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00:08:30,098 --> 00:08:31,375
I was wrong!
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Cop here, you screwed.
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00:08:35,550 --> 00:08:38,941
- How do you plead, Ms. Marquez?
- Uh, not guilty, so...
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00:08:38,950 --> 00:08:41,926
And do you... have any
evidence or any witnesses?
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00:08:41,927 --> 00:08:43,128
Uh, just one.
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00:08:43,198 --> 00:08:45,160
You were sick. That's why I made
a u-Turn to get to the hospital.
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00:08:45,179 --> 00:08:47,038
I thought you say not do anything.
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00:08:47,292 --> 00:08:49,799
Please. State your name for the record.
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00:08:51,773 --> 00:08:56,307
- Polly Chae. I very sick woman.
- Please proceed, Ms. Marquez.
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00:08:56,517 --> 00:08:58,348
Uh, Ms. Chae, on the day in question,
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00:08:58,349 --> 00:09:01,342
were you in my car traveling
east on stewart avenue?
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00:09:01,343 --> 00:09:02,750
- Yes.
- Yes.
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00:09:02,780 --> 00:09:05,420
Sometime I get bloated, you know.
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00:09:05,450 --> 00:09:09,245
Stomach swell up like thanksgiving
parade float. Hurt like hell.
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00:09:09,793 --> 00:09:12,582
Yes. You were sick that day,
weren't you, Miss Chae?
220
00:09:12,583 --> 00:09:15,970
Oh, yeah, very bad gas,
diarrhea... I have burrito.
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00:09:15,971 --> 00:09:17,629
You don't want to smell that one.
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00:09:17,630 --> 00:09:20,840
And, you know, I need medical attention,
and she save me.
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00:09:20,841 --> 00:09:24,037
She even tried to warn
kids first before turning, you know.
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She say, "move little
asses out of way or get run over."
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00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:31,923
I am convicting you
of the offense, Ms. Marquez,
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00:09:31,924 --> 00:09:36,514
and in addition to the mandated fine,
I'm sentencing you to traffic school
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00:09:36,550 --> 00:09:38,494
- starting first thing tomorrow morning.
- Perfect.
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00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:41,889
- Oh, that suck for you, Sam.
- And for you, too Ms. Chae.
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00:09:41,980 --> 00:09:44,722
You're going with her
for lying in my courtroom.
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00:09:44,731 --> 00:09:49,013
Oh, no, no, please... I give you
free wax... moustache. You need.
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00:09:49,925 --> 00:09:52,150
Excuse me, do you mind
if I put my ball down here?
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00:09:52,151 --> 00:09:55,310
- No. Have a seat.
- I'm Delinda. This is Danny.
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00:09:55,311 --> 00:09:56,920
- Hi.
- How are you guys?
234
00:09:56,950 --> 00:10:00,776
I'm Annie. This is my husband Chad.
And this is Elise.
235
00:10:00,777 --> 00:10:04,070
- Oh, you're having a baby girl.
- Yeah. Just found out last week.
236
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:06,214
We're kinda hoping
to be surprised on the big day.
237
00:10:06,215 --> 00:10:09,080
Hello, moms, dads, and special others.
238
00:10:09,669 --> 00:10:12,381
Welcome to your first parenting class.
239
00:10:12,475 --> 00:10:16,950
I like to start by answering
a few questions. Okay?
240
00:10:17,020 --> 00:10:20,671
My sister went through
56 hours of agonizing labor.
241
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,914
She said it was like pushing a
freight train through a pinhole.
242
00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:25,357
Wait, wait, I heard that
243
00:10:25,372 --> 00:10:28,555
the average length of labor is
actually about 12 to 14 hours.
244
00:10:28,556 --> 00:10:30,850
Most labors are relatively short.
245
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,520
- I want drugs. Lots of them.
- But for the long ones,
246
00:10:32,536 --> 00:10:37,930
epidurals are quite effective in
relieving pain and discomfort.
247
00:10:37,931 --> 00:10:39,251
What about breast feeding?
248
00:10:39,252 --> 00:10:41,820
Is it true your nipples crack and bleed?
249
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,893
Well, that does happen to some women.
250
00:10:43,930 --> 00:10:47,339
But that's just until
your breasts get conditioned.
251
00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:52,079
Yeah, the nipples can also heal faster if
you, you know, vary the feeding position.
252
00:10:52,112 --> 00:10:55,380
You lay the baby on your lap
or, you know, on your side,
253
00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:57,886
or you lay the baby
next to you on the bed.
254
00:10:57,905 --> 00:11:00,421
Did you hear that?
Thank you, Danny.
255
00:11:00,449 --> 00:11:02,419
- That's impressive.
- Thanks, man.
256
00:11:02,420 --> 00:11:04,729
Whare you, and what
have you done with my boyfriend?
257
00:11:10,742 --> 00:11:13,380
You talked about nipples out loud
in a crowded room?
258
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,581
Nipples are a natural part
of the female anatomy, brother.
259
00:11:15,582 --> 00:11:17,496
- I get that.
- A nipple is a conduit
260
00:11:17,525 --> 00:11:19,665
of nourishment between
the mother and the child.
261
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,463
And kegeling.
262
00:11:21,464 --> 00:11:24,721
Ever heard of kegeling?
Braxton hicks contractions.
263
00:11:24,722 --> 00:11:28,183
- We did a little prenatal yoga.
- Wow. You're scaring me, bro.
264
00:11:28,192 --> 00:11:30,598
Just sit up straight for a second.
I wanna show you something.
265
00:11:30,599 --> 00:11:32,091
Isn't that Piper?
266
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,940
Oh, yeah. Cooper had me hire her back.
267
00:11:35,950 --> 00:11:37,979
Said he would handle the gaming commission.
268
00:11:37,980 --> 00:11:42,046
- Vegas connections already.
- Yeah. He's full of surprises, isn't he?
269
00:11:42,780 --> 00:11:45,599
- Danny, Mike.
- Hey, beautiful.
270
00:11:45,759 --> 00:11:47,824
How are you this evening?
271
00:11:48,087 --> 00:11:49,665
Are we... are we in trouble again?
272
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,414
Nope. Just came by to collect the check.
273
00:11:53,534 --> 00:11:55,780
What check?
274
00:11:55,820 --> 00:11:57,580
From A.J. Cooper.
275
00:11:57,620 --> 00:12:01,972
If you ask me, a million dollars
is a lot to pay for a concierge.
276
00:12:02,610 --> 00:12:05,380
But then again... I'm not a billionaire.
277
00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:26,580
That's not any sense, why
would Cooper pay the fine?
278
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:27,680
I don't know.
279
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,080
Maybe he thinks Piper's
a great concierge.
280
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:32,768
No savy businessman's gonna pay
a million bucks for a concierge.
281
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:37,880
He would for a piece of ass.
282
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:38,850
What?
283
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:41,233
I know this is difficult for you guys,
but let me say it slowly...
284
00:12:41,234 --> 00:12:43,220
Cooper is banging Piper.
285
00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:45,199
- What?
- No. No way.
286
00:12:48,537 --> 00:12:49,650
She's right.
287
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:51,480
We totally missed it!
288
00:12:52,228 --> 00:12:53,650
Yeah, we did.
289
00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:55,850
She's so much unger than him.
290
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,420
She told me she didn't date older guys.
291
00:12:57,450 --> 00:13:00,594
- She told you that 'cause you're poor.
- Guys, guys, he's coming. Act normal.
292
00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:03,716
How are we supposed to do that?
I already have this stupid smile now.
293
00:13:03,781 --> 00:13:05,623
- Hey!
- Oh, hey, what's going on?
294
00:13:05,624 --> 00:13:07,650
How's the chinese menu coming along, Delinda?
295
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:09,050
It's great.
296
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,080
We've got everything from
mu shoo pork to egg so young.
297
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:12,350
- Foo yung.
- Foo yung.
298
00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:15,050
Okay. Sounds good.
299
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,979
Well, I got a meeting I gotta get to,
so I'll see you guys.
300
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:21,150
- I got that thing.
- I have traffic school. So...
301
00:13:22,465 --> 00:13:26,250
- Are you okay?
- Heatbrun, ac reflux.
302
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,580
Oh! That's a common problem
as the baby gets bigger.
303
00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:32,666
You need to avoid carbonated beverages,
and sleep propped up a little bit.
304
00:13:32,667 --> 00:13:34,010
- I'll try that.
- Yeah.
305
00:13:34,011 --> 00:13:36,880
And if you need any help,
please feel free to ask Piper.
306
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:38,050
She's back at work, you know.
307
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:40,420
I'm really glad. We all really like Piper.
308
00:13:40,450 --> 00:13:42,033
Don't we?
309
00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:43,780
Yes.
310
00:13:47,430 --> 00:13:49,350
Take time to think.
311
00:13:49,891 --> 00:13:53,650
There is never any need for mechanized death.
312
00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:58,180
With more than 50,000
motorists killed annually on our highways,
313
00:13:58,220 --> 00:14:03,877
the traffic death rate has solidly entrenched
itsf as the nation's third greatest killer,
314
00:14:03,878 --> 00:14:06,694
Second only to heart ailments and cancer.
315
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:10,225
Death is now a common sight on our highways.
316
00:14:11,138 --> 00:14:14,380
It's senseless.
It's mechanized death.
317
00:14:22,769 --> 00:14:26,475
I hope you enjoyed the inspirational movie
mechanized death.
318
00:14:26,476 --> 00:14:28,480
That very upsetting movie.
319
00:14:28,849 --> 00:14:31,142
All the crash, bang, boom...
320
00:14:31,143 --> 00:14:33,641
Remind me of first date with boyfriend.
321
00:14:36,390 --> 00:14:37,880
What the hell are you doing here?
322
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,779
What, a guy in a wheelchair can't speed?
Come on.
323
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,889
I didn't know it went that fast.
324
00:14:42,890 --> 00:14:44,520
I was in my bentley, Sam.
325
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:48,438
- You have a Bentley?
- You are late.
326
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:53,364
Yes. Yes, I am. I'm sorry.
327
00:14:53,365 --> 00:14:56,550
It says Frankie's comedy traffic school.
328
00:14:58,342 --> 00:15:01,826
- You're not funny.
- No, I'm not. I'm also not Frank.
329
00:15:01,844 --> 00:15:03,170
My name is Ted.
330
00:15:03,171 --> 00:15:06,072
Frank got a gig at a comedy
club in reno this week.
331
00:15:06,082 --> 00:15:09,147
I normally teach welding
and video game design.
332
00:15:10,180 --> 00:15:12,733
- Uh, hey, Frank, listen...
- Ted.
333
00:15:12,734 --> 00:15:14,149
Uh, Ted,
334
00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:20,046
I am a very busy woman, so I really
don't have time to be here.
335
00:15:20,050 --> 00:15:24,433
If you could just write me down
as having completed the course...
336
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,534
That would be fantastic.
337
00:15:29,850 --> 00:15:31,550
Frank is my boyfriend.
338
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,020
So let's settle in
for the long haul, shall we?
339
00:15:38,996 --> 00:15:40,564
Tramp.
340
00:15:44,041 --> 00:15:45,318
Nine!
341
00:15:48,798 --> 00:15:52,950
Cooper. I wanted to thank you
for bringing me back.
342
00:15:53,395 --> 00:15:58,110
You know, uh... I heard you had to pay
a fine, and I hope it wasn't too much.
343
00:15:58,157 --> 00:16:02,335
It was a lot, and if you do anything
that stupid again, I won't help you.
344
00:16:06,512 --> 00:16:09,539
- You like being here?
- Yeah. I really do.
345
00:16:10,298 --> 00:16:14,401
You know, it's in my best interest
to keep you around.
346
00:16:19,185 --> 00:16:22,350
Did you know that in Macau
the casinos have very few crap tables?
347
00:16:22,952 --> 00:16:27,579
- I wonder why. It's very popular here.
- Gamblers don't seem to like them.
348
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,703
Maybe you just never know
what someone's gonna like, you know?
349
00:16:33,550 --> 00:16:35,188
No, I guess you don't.
350
00:16:40,650 --> 00:16:43,926
Bring up any footage we have
of Piper and Cooper together.
351
00:16:46,137 --> 00:16:48,775
Everything, since we poached her from the Palms.
352
00:16:57,872 --> 00:16:59,220
Wait, wait, wait.
353
00:17:00,435 --> 00:17:01,581
Right there.
354
00:17:08,415 --> 00:17:10,677
It's really nice of you guys to have us over.
355
00:17:11,588 --> 00:17:13,485
We're all kinda in the same boat here.
356
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,921
Maybe when the kids are born,
we can have, like, a play date.
357
00:17:17,958 --> 00:17:20,267
A play date. Yeah, sure.
That'd be... that'd be great, man.
358
00:17:21,559 --> 00:17:23,020
When are you guys due?
359
00:17:23,050 --> 00:17:24,194
Three weeks.
360
00:17:24,195 --> 00:17:25,420
- Really?
- Yeah.
361
00:17:25,450 --> 00:17:26,450
- Soon.
- Yes.
362
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,536
- You nervous?
- No. No, no, no, no, no.
363
00:17:28,537 --> 00:17:30,381
Take one of these.
364
00:17:30,475 --> 00:17:34,011
It'll help with the reflux,
and it's totally organic.
365
00:17:36,085 --> 00:17:38,912
They have no clue how easy
they have it, do they?
366
00:17:38,913 --> 00:17:41,473
Oh, how could they?
They did the fun part.
367
00:17:41,474 --> 00:17:43,488
Now everything else falls on us.
368
00:17:43,489 --> 00:17:46,650
They think the occasional back rub
is gonna make it all equal.
369
00:17:46,651 --> 00:17:48,994
Chad loves to give me foot rubs.
370
00:17:49,445 --> 00:17:51,530
Yeah, no, he's not very good at it.
371
00:17:52,026 --> 00:17:53,923
Just finished painting
the nursery last week.
372
00:17:53,924 --> 00:17:55,462
- Really?
- Yeah. Yeah.
373
00:17:55,463 --> 00:17:56,928
Annie wanted to get all the fumes out
374
00:17:56,929 --> 00:17:59,450
before, you know, the little
princess arrived, so...
375
00:18:00,074 --> 00:18:02,493
That's what we did.
Or that's what I did.
376
00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:03,980
Yeah, I don't...
377
00:18:04,477 --> 00:18:06,949
I don't think we talked
about the nursery yet.
378
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:09,587
- Really?
- Preschool already?
379
00:18:09,957 --> 00:18:13,065
- The baby's not even born yet.
- Yeah, but you gotta get on that, Delinda.
380
00:18:13,066 --> 00:18:16,613
As soon as you know your due date,
you get your baby enrolled in school.
381
00:18:16,650 --> 00:18:18,880
Those waiting lists can be unbelievable.
382
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,878
My banker's amazing.
383
00:18:20,879 --> 00:18:23,490
He'll help you out
with that 529 fund right away.
384
00:18:23,935 --> 00:18:26,050
The 529 is the...
385
00:18:27,250 --> 00:18:30,172
- Tax deferred college fund, yeah.
- That's right, the college fund.
386
00:18:30,180 --> 00:18:34,498
Oh, my gosh, you know what?
Here, take this. I've got plenty of copies.
387
00:18:34,921 --> 00:18:36,720
That is my baby checklist.
388
00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:38,780
I've got it broken down into categories...
389
00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:42,632
Health, and then education, and finance.
390
00:18:42,633 --> 00:18:44,880
And all of the relevant
contact information is there.
391
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,280
It will really help you
be prepared for baby.
392
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:51,025
You gotta start saving right away. Hell,
man, preschool's like 10 grand a year.
393
00:18:51,026 --> 00:18:52,520
- For finger-painting.
- I know.
394
00:18:52,550 --> 00:18:56,926
Imagine what college is gonna cost.
It's total bull... hey, ladies!
395
00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:57,980
Hi.
396
00:18:58,020 --> 00:18:59,820
We were just starting
to worry about you guys.
397
00:18:59,850 --> 00:19:03,283
Oh, well, Delinda was just showing me
around their beautiful condo.
398
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,120
Why don't you guys come have a seat?
399
00:19:05,150 --> 00:19:07,398
Are you guys planning on getting a house?
400
00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:10,350
Yeah.
401
00:19:11,070 --> 00:19:15,019
I mean, right now we're... this'll be fine,
and then maybe we'll decide after that.
402
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:18,564
Oh. Well, are there any other babies
that live in this building?
403
00:19:18,565 --> 00:19:19,960
- No.
- No.
404
00:19:19,961 --> 00:19:22,580
No. Just... couples like us.
405
00:19:23,650 --> 00:19:25,120
Great. Wow.
406
00:19:27,396 --> 00:19:29,003
Look at that balcony!
407
00:19:30,528 --> 00:19:32,995
Od, can you imagine?
408
00:19:33,286 --> 00:19:34,385
No.
409
00:19:44,310 --> 00:19:47,756
Did you know that a rumor, by definition,
is information that circulates
410
00:19:47,757 --> 00:19:50,700
without any substantiating evidence?
411
00:19:51,793 --> 00:19:53,163
Well...
412
00:19:58,570 --> 00:20:02,007
My decision to bring Piper back
was strictly professional.
413
00:20:02,657 --> 00:20:05,858
Uh, you know, you don't owe me
an explanation. This is your place.
414
00:20:05,859 --> 00:20:09,252
- You do whatever you want to do.
- Yeah, but still...
415
00:20:09,270 --> 00:20:11,574
Then again, I am a very good listener.
416
00:20:13,289 --> 00:20:15,626
Look, Danny, I know it's important
417
00:20:15,627 --> 00:20:18,819
that our employees know they're gonna be
held accountable when they screw up.
418
00:20:18,820 --> 00:20:21,814
But it's also important
to offer a second chance
419
00:20:21,842 --> 00:20:25,123
to somebody as promising
as Piper when she stumbles.
420
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:29,769
Somebody gave me a second chance once.
I would bet the same is true with you.
421
00:20:29,911 --> 00:20:32,502
Uh, that's a nice sentiment,
but you do realize
422
00:20:32,503 --> 00:20:34,766
this is probably gonna take us years
to recoup this money.
423
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:37,208
The money came out of my personal account.
424
00:20:43,971 --> 00:20:47,332
Hey, if I were you,
i would keep that between us.
425
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,070
That little piece of information
426
00:20:49,071 --> 00:20:53,567
is, uh, not exactly gonna slow the rumor
mill, if you know what I mean.
427
00:20:59,130 --> 00:21:04,287
Can anyone tell me how you determine
the proper distance between two cars?
428
00:21:04,288 --> 00:21:07,254
- It depends how fast you're going.
- Oh. That is not correct.
429
00:21:07,272 --> 00:21:10,814
- Oh, you apply three-second rule.
- That's right, Polly.
430
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:16,160
When the vehicle in front of you reaches a
certain point, count to three, as in...
431
00:21:16,162 --> 00:21:20,115
One-one thousand, two-one thousand,
three-one thousand.
432
00:21:20,116 --> 00:21:23,531
If you have passed said point
before you finish counting,
433
00:21:24,238 --> 00:21:26,585
you are following too close.
434
00:21:27,270 --> 00:21:28,530
He funny.
435
00:21:28,570 --> 00:21:30,493
You having fun, Polly?
436
00:21:30,494 --> 00:21:33,620
You just jealous because Polly teacher pet.
437
00:21:33,621 --> 00:21:37,700
You know, ruin bell curve
for mediocre american c-student like you.
438
00:21:37,701 --> 00:21:38,830
I have to get outta here.
439
00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:43,199
It's now timen for our 15-minute,
bathroom/snack/smoking break.
440
00:21:44,451 --> 00:21:48,320
Please remember to sign back in
before you return to the room.
441
00:21:49,386 --> 00:21:51,556
And do not talk to me during our time down.
442
00:21:51,557 --> 00:21:54,500
Listen, I need you to do me a little favor.
443
00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:57,186
Oh, no. Last time I do you favor,
I end up here.
444
00:21:57,187 --> 00:22:00,190
Yeah, 'cause I can't listen to Tom talk.
I can't be here with Ted all week.
445
00:22:00,191 --> 00:22:02,594
I have to get back to the Montecito
to take care of my whales.
446
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:06,913
When we get back from the break,
I want you to sign my name in,
447
00:22:06,914 --> 00:22:08,570
and Ted will never know I was gone.
448
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:11,695
No, no, no. Polly also
have a busy job at casino.
449
00:22:11,696 --> 00:22:16,737
You make me miss four mani-Pedi, in grown
toenail, very nasty, complicated...
450
00:22:16,738 --> 00:22:18,169
- I'm sorry about that, but...
- And I promise a
451
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,916
heart-shape bush wax,
anniversary present...
452
00:22:21,203 --> 00:22:24,800
And two backdoor bleaches,
my secret specialty.
453
00:22:24,830 --> 00:22:28,330
I just need you to sign my name in
after the break, okay?
454
00:22:28,331 --> 00:22:29,775
- No!
- All right. I love you.
455
00:22:29,776 --> 00:22:31,570
No, no, no... Hey, where you going?
456
00:22:31,571 --> 00:22:33,373
I've gone through every bit
of surveillance footage
457
00:22:33,374 --> 00:22:35,485
of Piper and Cooper since they
arrived here at the Montecito.
458
00:22:35,486 --> 00:22:38,630
I can't find a single shot
of them having lunch together,
459
00:22:38,670 --> 00:22:41,970
holding hands, taking
afternoon siestas in a suite...
460
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,893
Don't you have better things to do
than spy on the boss, man?
461
00:22:43,894 --> 00:22:45,870
- No, not really.
- Why are you so invested in this?
462
00:22:45,871 --> 00:22:48,115
I'm not, I'm just curious.
Curious by nature.
463
00:22:48,116 --> 00:22:50,911
I mean, a woman tells you directly
that she doesn't like older guys.
464
00:22:50,912 --> 00:22:53,324
Then she turns around
and has an affair with one?
465
00:22:53,325 --> 00:22:56,130
One much older than me.
Makes a guy curious.
466
00:22:56,170 --> 00:22:58,403
- I see, I see.
- I just figured it out. You're jealous!
467
00:22:58,422 --> 00:22:59,783
- That's what this is.
- No way.
468
00:22:59,830 --> 00:23:02,102
- Absolutely not jealous.
- No, no, this makes perfect sense, Mike.
469
00:23:02,103 --> 00:23:04,340
She's very attractive.
She's got body.
470
00:23:04,378 --> 00:23:06,208
She's fun, she's energetic,
and she turned you down.
471
00:23:06,209 --> 00:23:08,952
- That's where you're wrong.
- She did not turn me down.
472
00:23:08,953 --> 00:23:11,929
- Who didn't turn who down?
- Piper sort of blew him off.
473
00:23:11,932 --> 00:23:14,527
Ah, Mike, I'm so sorry.
Are your feelings hurt?
474
00:23:14,528 --> 00:23:17,361
- I don't like Piper. I don't like Piper.
- You want what you can't have.
475
00:23:17,362 --> 00:23:19,977
Well, good, good, 'cause if she's
not doing the nasty with Cooper,
476
00:23:19,978 --> 00:23:22,470
I know she's hoping
to bump uglies with Justin.
477
00:23:22,500 --> 00:23:25,031
Wait... Please don't say things
like that, not with my baby.
478
00:23:25,032 --> 00:23:27,300
- And who is Justin?
- The cabana boy.
479
00:23:27,330 --> 00:23:29,485
The one who likes to show off
his little six-Pack?
480
00:23:29,486 --> 00:23:31,030
More like a 12-Pack.
481
00:23:31,070 --> 00:23:34,069
He and his girlfriend just broke up,
and he's back on the market.
482
00:23:34,070 --> 00:23:35,270
Wait a second.
483
00:23:35,300 --> 00:23:37,469
- What?
- What about a test?
484
00:23:37,470 --> 00:23:40,030
A little rendezvous between Piper and Justin?
485
00:23:40,070 --> 00:23:42,800
If she goes for it, then we know
she's not seeing Cooper.
486
00:23:42,830 --> 00:23:46,300
But if she blows Justin off, then she's
definitely taking moustache rides.
487
00:23:46,301 --> 00:23:47,467
- Hey!
- No, D.
488
00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:49,670
Seriously, the baby can hear you.
489
00:23:49,700 --> 00:23:53,228
Yeah. That's an image
I could have lived without, D. Thanks.
490
00:23:56,830 --> 00:23:59,429
- Oh, hey, Sam.
- Ah, no, no, I don't have time, lolita.
491
00:23:59,430 --> 00:24:00,904
I'm all business all day.
492
00:24:00,905 --> 00:24:03,460
Yeah, well, someone's waiting for you,
and I think he's all business too.
493
00:24:03,461 --> 00:24:04,747
Oh, is it one of my clients?
494
00:24:04,748 --> 00:24:07,340
Not unless the city's paying
them more than they used to.
495
00:24:07,472 --> 00:24:11,362
There she is, fugitive of law...
Slippery Sam!
496
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:12,934
You sold me out?
497
00:24:12,935 --> 00:24:15,535
Friend no let friend
go to traffic school by self.
498
00:24:15,536 --> 00:24:18,983
Ms. Marquez, Ms. Chae, come with me. Now.
499
00:24:19,308 --> 00:24:22,024
- You bitch!
- What you call me?
500
00:24:22,025 --> 00:24:24,968
Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go. Turn it off.
501
00:24:24,969 --> 00:24:27,312
- You no call me that!
- You little bitch!
502
00:24:27,537 --> 00:24:29,000
Hey, Piper.
503
00:24:29,030 --> 00:24:31,277
- What's up?
- Hi. Justin.
504
00:24:31,278 --> 00:24:33,334
You remember my name.
That's a good sign.
505
00:24:33,335 --> 00:24:35,631
Yeah, well, uh, it's on your name Tag.
506
00:24:35,669 --> 00:24:39,519
Usually. Except you don't have one,
because you're not wearing a shirt.
507
00:24:41,793 --> 00:24:44,836
Naw, got a little sweaty,
so I had to take it off to dry.
508
00:24:44,837 --> 00:24:47,897
You should really be wearing
a shirt, Justin, when you're inside.
509
00:24:47,911 --> 00:24:50,000
It's kind of unprofessional.
510
00:24:50,267 --> 00:24:53,174
- You want me to put my shirt on?
- Yeah, it's not the pool.
511
00:24:55,263 --> 00:24:57,206
I guess I'll just go to the pool.
512
00:24:57,207 --> 00:24:58,587
Great idea.
513
00:25:03,870 --> 00:25:05,517
She's a lesbian.
514
00:25:07,730 --> 00:25:09,894
She's so totally doing Cooper.
515
00:25:09,895 --> 00:25:12,664
It's not saying you can never park.
516
00:25:12,816 --> 00:25:15,464
You just can't park here.
517
00:25:16,019 --> 00:25:17,830
- Excuse me.
- Polly.
518
00:25:17,870 --> 00:25:24,797
When sign say no u-turn,
couldn't it also mean "No. You, turn!"
519
00:25:25,270 --> 00:25:29,973
- Go ahead, what you waiting for?
- There is no comma in that signage.
520
00:25:30,330 --> 00:25:32,400
Okay, but still, very confusing.
521
00:25:32,401 --> 00:25:35,698
Okay, everybody, I want you
to pick out your favorite sign.
522
00:25:35,755 --> 00:25:39,290
- Hello, Mr. Schwager?
- Hi! I'm so glad you called.
523
00:25:39,676 --> 00:25:42,267
Yes, we are so looking forward
to your stay at the Montecito.
524
00:25:42,268 --> 00:25:43,676
Sir, I have your special...
I have a special...
525
00:25:43,677 --> 00:25:46,430
I'm gonna have to call
you back, Mr. Schwa...
526
00:25:46,843 --> 00:25:49,200
You'll get it back after class.
527
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:55,470
Check this out.
528
00:25:58,826 --> 00:26:00,215
- It's a map.
- It's a map.
529
00:26:03,104 --> 00:26:06,367
- What are the red dots for?
- They represent Cooper and Piper.
530
00:26:06,368 --> 00:26:10,067
The intersecting lines represent
significant dates in their lives.
531
00:26:10,068 --> 00:26:11,635
- And you made this?
- Yeah.
532
00:26:12,330 --> 00:26:13,730
- It's a little creepy.
- What?
533
00:26:13,763 --> 00:26:18,237
Just stick with me. The first
intersecting line... Piper's born in Miami.
534
00:26:18,378 --> 00:26:22,613
Cooper buys a string of condos
in nearby Orlando.
535
00:26:22,730 --> 00:26:26,754
The next intersecting line...
Piper goes to college in Madison.
536
00:26:26,755 --> 00:26:29,961
Cooper buys Wisconsin's biggest paper mill.
537
00:26:29,962 --> 00:26:32,126
- Aw, come on.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait.
538
00:26:32,127 --> 00:26:34,896
She goes to work, front desk at
a hotel in San Francisco.
539
00:26:34,986 --> 00:26:39,145
He buys a high-tech company
in San Jose.
540
00:26:40,930 --> 00:26:43,896
The last intersecting line...
She goes to work at the Palms.
541
00:26:43,905 --> 00:26:49,021
Three months later, he buys the Montecito,
steals her away from the maloofs.
542
00:26:49,022 --> 00:26:50,825
This could just be a coincidence.
543
00:26:50,826 --> 00:26:53,670
Or no coincidence at all.
544
00:26:55,277 --> 00:26:56,470
Luke...
545
00:26:56,479 --> 00:26:58,400
I am your father.
546
00:26:58,577 --> 00:27:00,135
- What are you... Darth Vader?
- Yeah.
547
00:27:00,136 --> 00:27:01,093
What?
548
00:27:01,301 --> 00:27:02,747
It's a great Darth Vader.
549
00:27:02,748 --> 00:27:04,259
What does that have
to do with any of this?
550
00:27:04,260 --> 00:27:06,560
Cooper, Piper, Piper, Cooper.
Don't you...
551
00:27:06,561 --> 00:27:08,114
The dimples?
552
00:27:08,115 --> 00:27:10,879
- Darth Vader never had dimples.
- No. Cooper. Piper.
553
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:12,578
They have dimples.
They're the same.
554
00:27:12,579 --> 00:27:14,569
Cooper is Piper's father.
555
00:27:14,570 --> 00:27:15,433
No.
556
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,615
Yes. It's right here!
557
00:27:21,808 --> 00:27:25,630
Piper, my friends and I would
love to have dinner tonight
558
00:27:25,631 --> 00:27:28,767
at 9:00 at the Palms,
but the corner booth is reserved.
559
00:27:28,768 --> 00:27:30,946
- Could you unreserve it?
- I'll call the head waiter.
560
00:27:30,947 --> 00:27:32,720
I'm sure he can move some
things around to accommodate.
561
00:27:32,721 --> 00:27:35,050
Thanks.
Ruby Slippers?
562
00:27:36,514 --> 00:27:38,532
Then, apparently, they would like to go
563
00:27:38,533 --> 00:27:41,200
to one of the strip bars
where someone named...
564
00:27:41,230 --> 00:27:43,229
- Ruby Slippers.
- Ruby Slippers performs.
565
00:27:43,230 --> 00:27:44,730
Spearmint Rhino.
566
00:27:44,770 --> 00:27:46,879
I'll make sure that
she's working tonight.
567
00:27:49,370 --> 00:27:51,315
- Three passes only.
- Understood.
568
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,339
Pretty smooth, Piper.
569
00:27:57,062 --> 00:27:59,270
Cooper was definitely impressed.
570
00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:01,530
I do owe him big time, Mike.
571
00:28:01,570 --> 00:28:03,130
He did hire me back here.
572
00:28:03,869 --> 00:28:05,370
He's tough, but he's, uh...
573
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,745
Really kind of fatherly, you know?
574
00:28:08,430 --> 00:28:10,500
Yeah. I guess he sort of is.
575
00:28:10,530 --> 00:28:11,500
Yeah.
576
00:28:11,530 --> 00:28:13,239
My old man was never like that.
577
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,314
And look how good you turned out, huh?
578
00:28:15,315 --> 00:28:16,670
Sure did.
579
00:28:17,971 --> 00:28:19,473
What about your dad?
580
00:28:21,470 --> 00:28:24,070
I don't really like
to talk about him, so...
581
00:28:24,100 --> 00:28:25,794
Was he a nice guy, huh?
582
00:28:28,048 --> 00:28:30,573
I'm sorry, I know
it's none of my business.
583
00:28:31,500 --> 00:28:35,011
Ah, it's okay. I just, um... I just
never knew him, you know?
584
00:28:35,470 --> 00:28:39,017
He took off on my mother
just after I was born. So...
585
00:28:40,630 --> 00:28:43,205
- You ever thought about tracking him down?
- Never saw the point.
586
00:28:44,973 --> 00:28:46,973
You gotta wonder about him.
587
00:28:47,263 --> 00:28:49,000
Miss him, maybe?
588
00:28:49,030 --> 00:28:51,729
Mike, you can't miss what you never knew.
589
00:28:54,183 --> 00:28:56,756
Hey. What are you working on?
590
00:28:57,043 --> 00:29:00,686
Chad's broker sent over
some college saving account forms.
591
00:29:01,438 --> 00:29:03,962
Number nine on the check list. Great.
592
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:07,400
Do you realize that by the time
this kid's 18 years old,
593
00:29:07,430 --> 00:29:09,059
we'll have spent almost
a half a million dollars?
594
00:29:09,060 --> 00:29:11,730
And that's if he or she
goes to public school?
595
00:29:11,770 --> 00:29:13,570
And what if we don't move?
596
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,430
It turns out that
our school district sucks,
597
00:29:15,470 --> 00:29:17,756
so we're gonna have
to send him to private school.
598
00:29:17,757 --> 00:29:19,540
In which case, we may
as well just, you know,
599
00:29:19,541 --> 00:29:21,887
fork over the money for a house
in a good neighborhood.
600
00:29:21,888 --> 00:29:25,426
Exactly.
Annie and Chad's Realtor.
601
00:29:25,870 --> 00:29:28,446
I made an appointment
next thursday to see that house.
602
00:29:28,447 --> 00:29:30,600
Ah, okay. I got a bunch
of stuff next week.
603
00:29:30,630 --> 00:29:32,430
I'll have to check my schedule.
604
00:29:33,140 --> 00:29:35,030
Danny, it's number three on the checklist.
605
00:29:35,070 --> 00:29:37,162
I mean, we have to find the
right house in a good district.
606
00:29:37,163 --> 00:29:40,213
- You just said so yourself.
- Oh, yeah. You're right.
607
00:29:41,652 --> 00:29:44,976
It's just all, uh, a little overwhelming.
608
00:29:44,977 --> 00:29:47,670
- But it's a good thing we met Chad and Annie.
- Yeah.
609
00:29:47,700 --> 00:29:50,184
- We'd be so unprepared for this baby.
- Yeah, they're great.
610
00:29:50,185 --> 00:29:51,649
Yeah, they're great.
611
00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:03,344
Hey, Carter.
612
00:30:04,401 --> 00:30:07,645
This is my request for saturday off.
I know you haven't assigned them yet,
613
00:30:07,646 --> 00:30:09,044
but I was just hoping that
I can get the weekend?
614
00:30:09,045 --> 00:30:10,670
I see...
615
00:30:10,700 --> 00:30:14,232
You see, bad religion is in town.
I've got killer tickets, so...
616
00:30:14,242 --> 00:30:15,930
No need to explain.
617
00:30:15,970 --> 00:30:17,697
You take whatever day you want.
618
00:30:18,770 --> 00:30:21,270
Really? Nobody wanted saturday off?
619
00:30:21,300 --> 00:30:24,120
Oh, they did. But I'm giving it to you.
620
00:30:27,170 --> 00:30:28,530
Okay.
621
00:30:28,570 --> 00:30:30,729
Thanks, Carter.
I really appreciate that.
622
00:30:30,730 --> 00:30:31,991
No problem.
623
00:30:31,992 --> 00:30:34,029
What goes around comes around, right?
624
00:30:35,251 --> 00:30:36,256
What?
625
00:30:36,420 --> 00:30:39,490
Just... don't forget us little people
on the way up.
626
00:30:40,453 --> 00:30:41,805
On the way up.
627
00:30:41,806 --> 00:30:43,787
Okay, Carter, what are you talking about?
628
00:30:46,761 --> 00:30:47,916
Carter.
629
00:30:47,926 --> 00:30:49,005
Carter!
630
00:30:53,326 --> 00:30:55,796
I was already slowing down
when I got the ticket,
631
00:30:55,797 --> 00:30:57,500
but the cop didn't seem to care.
632
00:30:57,530 --> 00:30:59,670
Gave me the maximum fine.
633
00:30:59,700 --> 00:31:01,685
Oh. How fast do you go?
634
00:31:01,686 --> 00:31:03,270
Uh... 195.
635
00:31:03,496 --> 00:31:06,294
He's lying. No street legal
car goes that fast.
636
00:31:06,295 --> 00:31:08,270
Um, McLaren slr does.
637
00:31:08,900 --> 00:31:09,970
Uh, hello!
638
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,099
Could we stop lollygagging?
639
00:31:12,698 --> 00:31:16,302
- Switch seats with me.
- I can see instructor with no obstruction.
640
00:31:16,303 --> 00:31:17,500
This is your seat.
641
00:31:17,530 --> 00:31:19,210
That's your seat.
642
00:31:21,129 --> 00:31:23,946
So, you know, I was just kidding
when I called you a liar over there.
643
00:31:23,947 --> 00:31:25,420
Don't worry about it.
644
00:31:25,421 --> 00:31:27,651
- I'm a bad girl.
- I could...
645
00:31:27,652 --> 00:31:28,731
- I could tell that.
- What's your name?
646
00:31:29,183 --> 00:31:31,014
- Oh, I'm Sam.
- Sam. Nice to meet you.
647
00:31:31,015 --> 00:31:32,800
So how much did that mclaren set you back?
648
00:31:33,072 --> 00:31:34,756
- About half a mil.
- Nice.
649
00:31:34,757 --> 00:31:36,023
Prostitute!
650
00:31:36,202 --> 00:31:38,643
Piper Denies knowing
anything about her father
651
00:31:38,644 --> 00:31:42,103
Well, she is... If she is Cooper's daughter...
I can see why she'd hide it,
652
00:31:42,104 --> 00:31:43,934
because she wanted to be
taken seriously, right?
653
00:31:43,935 --> 00:31:45,624
Didn't bother Delinda.
654
00:31:45,774 --> 00:31:48,070
Well, her dad's not a billionaire.
655
00:31:48,100 --> 00:31:51,466
Why isn't Piper running the place?
Why work as a concierge?
656
00:31:51,494 --> 00:31:55,100
Uh... well, maybe she wants
to learn from the ground up.
657
00:31:55,130 --> 00:31:58,096
I'm sure that's what Cooper did every
time he started a new business, right?
658
00:31:58,097 --> 00:31:59,683
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
659
00:32:01,129 --> 00:32:02,730
Parenting class in ten minutes.
660
00:32:02,770 --> 00:32:04,134
- See you guys.
- Yep.
661
00:32:05,030 --> 00:32:06,660
What's going on, Mike?
662
00:32:07,230 --> 00:32:08,270
Nothing.
663
00:32:08,300 --> 00:32:11,435
So then why did you and Danny
stop talking the second I walked up?
664
00:32:11,530 --> 00:32:14,137
- Did we? I didn't... I didn't...
- And it's not just that.
665
00:32:14,138 --> 00:32:17,063
It's like this whole entire casino
is acting weird whenever I'm around.
666
00:32:17,211 --> 00:32:18,870
I got free coffee!
667
00:32:18,900 --> 00:32:20,604
Who gets free coffee?
668
00:32:20,605 --> 00:32:22,680
I got all the days off I want,
669
00:32:22,681 --> 00:32:25,485
And now suddenly, you're interested
in my father.
670
00:32:26,143 --> 00:32:27,430
Come on, Mike.
671
00:32:27,893 --> 00:32:30,419
If there's something going on,
I want you to tell me.
672
00:32:38,158 --> 00:32:40,280
Don't worry. I'll keep it to myself.
673
00:32:40,281 --> 00:32:42,670
Nobody knows your secret but me and Danny.
674
00:32:42,700 --> 00:32:44,170
What secret?
675
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:45,870
That A.J. Cooper...
676
00:32:46,500 --> 00:32:48,470
Isn't just your boss.
677
00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:50,100
He's your father.
678
00:32:51,370 --> 00:32:54,539
What are you talking about, Mike?
Cooper is not my father.
679
00:32:54,540 --> 00:32:56,170
Piper, you don't have to hide it.
680
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,130
I know he's been there
for you every step of the way.
681
00:32:58,170 --> 00:33:03,345
In Miami, when you were born, watching
over you in college in Wisconsin,
682
00:33:03,370 --> 00:33:05,917
and getting you this job
here at the Montecito.
683
00:33:06,957 --> 00:33:08,630
How do you know all this?
684
00:33:08,670 --> 00:33:10,827
I had a hunch, so I checked it out.
685
00:33:14,342 --> 00:33:16,277
Piper, you knew that, right?
686
00:33:17,307 --> 00:33:20,242
The concept is good.
How many square feet we talking about?
687
00:33:20,243 --> 00:33:22,830
- We need to talk.
- Piper, I'm in the middle of a meeting.
688
00:33:22,882 --> 00:33:24,957
Yeah. I don't care
about your stupid meeting.
689
00:33:25,704 --> 00:33:27,535
All right.
Let's step out in the hall.
690
00:33:27,536 --> 00:33:30,030
Why, so we can have a secret conversation?
691
00:33:30,070 --> 00:33:31,800
You're all about secrets, aren't you?
692
00:33:32,451 --> 00:33:34,038
You just say it?
693
00:33:34,039 --> 00:33:35,446
Or...
694
00:33:35,681 --> 00:33:37,570
Or are you too ashamed?
695
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,673
Or are you too embarrassed to let
anyone know that you're my father?
696
00:33:45,774 --> 00:33:47,070
I'm not.
697
00:33:53,717 --> 00:33:56,149
You're not ashamed or you're not my father?
698
00:33:56,150 --> 00:33:57,623
We need to talk.
699
00:33:58,957 --> 00:34:02,130
You had 25 years to talk to me, and you didn't.
700
00:34:02,825 --> 00:34:04,470
Your time's up.
701
00:34:10,961 --> 00:34:12,300
Piper.
702
00:34:12,330 --> 00:34:14,790
- Stay away from me.
- I'm not your father.
703
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:17,191
Michael told me everything.
704
00:34:17,432 --> 00:34:19,263
How you watched me grow up.
705
00:34:19,264 --> 00:34:22,559
- How you followed me from place to place.
- Mike doesn't know anything.
706
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:24,447
Why didn't you step up?
707
00:34:25,539 --> 00:34:27,330
It's more complicated than that.
708
00:34:27,610 --> 00:34:29,070
Complicated.
709
00:34:29,100 --> 00:34:32,083
Wow. Well, that's the
understatement of the century.
710
00:34:35,330 --> 00:34:37,673
You chose not to be a dad a long time ago.
711
00:34:46,711 --> 00:34:50,542
I hope you've all enjoyed our time together
at the comedy traffic school.
712
00:34:50,824 --> 00:34:52,230
I know I have.
713
00:34:52,270 --> 00:34:54,746
Don't forget to pick up
your signed diploma,
714
00:34:54,747 --> 00:34:58,094
suitable for framing, to prove
your completion of the course.
715
00:34:59,366 --> 00:35:01,112
Oh, thank god that's over.
716
00:35:01,113 --> 00:35:04,652
Yes. Start to smell in there
like butt crack in steam room.
717
00:35:04,730 --> 00:35:08,581
- Can I give you a ride back?
- Oh, Polly like fast car with big engine.
718
00:35:08,582 --> 00:35:10,792
That's a two-Seater, Polly.
You can ride with Mitch.
719
00:35:10,802 --> 00:35:12,965
Yeah. Mitch, Polly, it's been a pleasure.
720
00:35:12,966 --> 00:35:14,890
Maybe I can buy you a drink
when we get back there.
721
00:35:14,891 --> 00:35:15,604
Yeah.
722
00:35:15,605 --> 00:35:18,951
- How come no one buy Polly drink?
- I'll buy ya a drink.
723
00:35:19,315 --> 00:35:22,235
Oh, no, wheelchair sex
always bruise me, you know?
724
00:35:22,236 --> 00:35:23,815
- Oh, yeah?
- I take ride, though.
725
00:35:23,816 --> 00:35:25,374
- Okay.
- Come on.
726
00:35:29,765 --> 00:35:32,159
I'm not paying you to spy on me.
727
00:35:35,269 --> 00:35:37,823
I saw something unusual going on,
so I investigated.
728
00:35:37,824 --> 00:35:40,859
- I didn't mean to hurt...
- Your intentions don't really matter.
729
00:35:42,083 --> 00:35:45,304
Your actions have had consequences, Mike.
730
00:35:48,570 --> 00:35:50,045
I-Is there anything I can do?
731
00:35:50,046 --> 00:35:51,998
I think you've done enough.
732
00:36:01,771 --> 00:36:04,635
But those cpr dolls are so life like.
It's kinda creepy.
733
00:36:04,665 --> 00:36:07,341
I know. Let's just hope we never have
to do cpr in real life.
734
00:36:07,342 --> 00:36:10,176
Oh, Danny, did my guy give you
those college saving forms?
735
00:36:10,177 --> 00:36:12,626
Oh, yeah. I already started filling
them out. Thank you again.
736
00:36:13,164 --> 00:36:14,667
- Oh, my god!
- What?
737
00:36:15,529 --> 00:36:17,651
Oh! My water just broke.
738
00:36:17,652 --> 00:36:19,500
- Oh, it's the baby!
- No.
739
00:36:19,501 --> 00:36:22,172
- Oh, I think she's coming.
- No, no, no. She can't come yet.
740
00:36:22,173 --> 00:36:24,050
No, we have another 12 days
before she comes.
741
00:36:24,051 --> 00:36:26,200
I don't think she cares!
742
00:36:26,230 --> 00:36:28,003
Uh, my wife's having a baby!
743
00:36:28,004 --> 00:36:30,364
She's having a baby right now!
Where's the check list?
744
00:36:30,365 --> 00:36:33,147
- I think I got the check list...
- Screw the damn check list!
745
00:36:36,621 --> 00:36:39,070
Walking will only make the baby
come faster. You have to sit down.
746
00:36:39,071 --> 00:36:40,915
Where's my phone?
Do I have my phone?
747
00:36:40,916 --> 00:36:42,707
- I think I have my phone.
- I have a phone right here.
748
00:36:44,201 --> 00:36:46,299
Oh, my god, oh, my god,
oh, my god!
749
00:36:46,300 --> 00:36:47,930
Just don't push!
750
00:36:47,970 --> 00:36:49,873
Danny, I don't think there's
time to call the ambulance.
751
00:36:49,874 --> 00:36:51,630
- The baby's crowning.
- What?
752
00:36:51,670 --> 00:36:53,901
- The baby's crowning.
- The baby's cr...
753
00:36:55,201 --> 00:36:56,722
Uh, we need an ambulance...
754
00:37:07,023 --> 00:37:08,894
The baby is so beautiful, Danny.
755
00:37:08,895 --> 00:37:12,481
They always come out more perfect
after a c-section. Not so scrunchy.
756
00:37:12,510 --> 00:37:14,493
It's a shame you and Chad
had to miss it.
757
00:37:14,494 --> 00:37:16,588
Yeah, well, somebody
had to be there with him
758
00:37:16,589 --> 00:37:18,710
in the E.R. While he got his stitches.
759
00:37:19,083 --> 00:37:21,083
They're gonna have to come up
with a new name...
760
00:37:21,084 --> 00:37:25,257
Or else he's gonna be the only boy
at a $10,000 preschool named Elise.
761
00:37:25,258 --> 00:37:26,657
With a pink nursery.
762
00:37:27,455 --> 00:37:28,920
Can you believe this guy?
763
00:37:28,921 --> 00:37:30,875
Who would have guessed this guy
was gonna freak out and faint?
764
00:37:30,876 --> 00:37:32,894
You didn't.
You thought they were perfect.
765
00:37:32,895 --> 00:37:34,346
You were the one who said
766
00:37:34,347 --> 00:37:36,211
that they were way more prepared than
we were.So I don't wanna hear that.
767
00:37:36,212 --> 00:37:37,507
Okay, all right.
768
00:37:37,685 --> 00:37:40,314
Well, list or no list...
769
00:37:43,338 --> 00:37:45,357
We're gonna be great parents, aren't we?
770
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:47,206
Yes.
771
00:37:48,489 --> 00:37:49,804
I think so.
772
00:37:49,954 --> 00:37:51,475
I think so too.
773
00:37:52,779 --> 00:37:54,357
How's the heartburn?
774
00:37:55,485 --> 00:37:57,091
Not so bad tonight.
775
00:37:57,092 --> 00:37:59,942
Just my feet.
They're sore.
776
00:38:00,730 --> 00:38:02,359
- Really?
- Yeah.
777
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:03,960
Well, lucky for you,
778
00:38:04,238 --> 00:38:06,135
I happen to be an amazing foot massagist.
779
00:38:06,136 --> 00:38:08,529
- No, no, no, no.
- No, you're gonna love this.
780
00:38:08,530 --> 00:38:10,329
Trust me. I read about this.
781
00:38:11,963 --> 00:38:13,296
Too much?
782
00:38:15,830 --> 00:38:17,545
That's perfect.
783
00:38:17,900 --> 00:38:19,400
Just perfect.
784
00:38:54,830 --> 00:38:57,140
You're probably wondering
how I got in here.
785
00:38:59,993 --> 00:39:02,359
Well, you're A.J. Cooper, so...
786
00:39:02,701 --> 00:39:06,795
You either lied to the landlord
or you probably paid her to let you in.
787
00:39:06,796 --> 00:39:08,119
I lied.
788
00:39:08,841 --> 00:39:10,644
I told her I was your father.
789
00:39:12,681 --> 00:39:14,897
You're a very confusing man.
You know that?
790
00:39:14,898 --> 00:39:16,437
So I've been told.
791
00:39:16,438 --> 00:39:17,911
What do you want?
792
00:39:19,210 --> 00:39:20,562
I don't know.
793
00:39:21,125 --> 00:39:22,938
For you to understand.
794
00:39:33,323 --> 00:39:34,544
Well...
795
00:39:35,740 --> 00:39:38,585
If you're not my father, then where is he?
796
00:39:39,479 --> 00:39:40,888
He was killed.
797
00:39:42,430 --> 00:39:44,169
He was a solider?
798
00:39:44,478 --> 00:39:45,943
He was a marine.
799
00:39:47,228 --> 00:39:50,055
Before he died, I made a promise to him
I'd look after you.
800
00:39:52,587 --> 00:39:55,132
So everything I've ever done,
you've had a hand in?
801
00:39:55,133 --> 00:39:55,977
No.
802
00:39:56,976 --> 00:39:57,868
No.
803
00:39:59,390 --> 00:40:01,493
I just stayed close.
804
00:40:02,010 --> 00:40:04,207
Then why did you hide it from me?
805
00:40:04,208 --> 00:40:06,235
You could have answered so many questions.
806
00:40:06,236 --> 00:40:08,281
You could have filled in so many gaps!
807
00:40:08,282 --> 00:40:11,924
I know. I should have
told you a long time ago.
808
00:40:12,948 --> 00:40:14,338
Then why didn't you?
809
00:40:16,033 --> 00:40:17,517
I don't know.
810
00:40:19,831 --> 00:40:21,371
Piper, you need to know
811
00:40:21,389 --> 00:40:26,009
everything you've done, everything you've
accomplished, you did it on your own.
812
00:40:27,227 --> 00:40:28,814
I didn't interfere.
813
00:40:29,869 --> 00:40:31,681
Till a few days ago.
814
00:40:38,890 --> 00:40:40,599
You look like him.
815
00:40:51,670 --> 00:40:53,227
He's my best friend.
816
00:40:59,042 --> 00:41:00,460
What was he like?
817
00:41:04,103 --> 00:41:06,516
You're like him in a lot of ways.
818
00:41:07,593 --> 00:41:09,978
Hot-headed, smart.
819
00:41:10,391 --> 00:41:11,808
Quick to react.
820
00:41:13,641 --> 00:41:15,096
Quick to smile.
821
00:41:15,932 --> 00:41:20,336
I didn't know him in boot camp
till we got stuck with guard duty.
822
00:41:21,253 --> 00:41:22,802
It was cold.
823
00:41:23,970 --> 00:41:26,553
We didn't know what we were guarding...
824
00:41:27,970 --> 00:41:32,553
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825
00:41:32,603 --> 00:41:37,153
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