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1
00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:35,100
Lilly's throwing
a fit out in the car.
2
00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:36,840
She wants us to hurry.
3
00:02:08,370 --> 00:02:09,710
What are you doing?
4
00:02:10,940 --> 00:02:13,010
Having fun.
5
00:02:13,010 --> 00:02:14,380
Join in.
6
00:03:14,970 --> 00:03:16,170
Come on, Zack.
7
00:03:16,170 --> 00:03:17,870
Enjoy the ride.
8
00:04:06,890 --> 00:04:08,260
Zack?
9
00:04:08,260 --> 00:04:09,630
Hello?
10
00:04:09,630 --> 00:04:11,030
Are you listening?
11
00:04:11,030 --> 00:04:12,230
Huh?
12
00:04:12,230 --> 00:04:14,160
Sorry, I was just thinking
13
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,100
about this gay resort
we're going to.
14
00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:18,430
You make it sound
like a bad thing.
15
00:04:18,430 --> 00:04:20,440
We won a free vacation,
16
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,310
and it's gay.
17
00:04:22,310 --> 00:04:23,870
What more could you want?
18
00:04:27,340 --> 00:04:29,210
Is it the open thing?
19
00:04:29,210 --> 00:04:30,610
We talked about this.
20
00:04:30,610 --> 00:04:33,450
I know.
21
00:04:33,450 --> 00:04:35,280
It's just for the weekend,
22
00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:37,050
but I'm nervous.
23
00:04:37,050 --> 00:04:40,460
I mean, I was always
the last one picked in gym class.
24
00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:42,290
I don't want to lose you,
25
00:04:42,290 --> 00:04:43,960
but it's something
that's in my gut.
26
00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:47,830
I'm just not ready
to limit myself sexually.
27
00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:52,170
So if we can't do this,
we should just be honest
28
00:04:52,170 --> 00:04:54,470
and break up.
29
00:04:54,470 --> 00:04:55,810
I don't want to break up.
30
00:04:55,810 --> 00:04:58,170
I don't either.
31
00:04:59,510 --> 00:05:03,210
And I do like sex.
32
00:05:03,210 --> 00:05:06,520
Picture the entire
Manhunt website
33
00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,590
stuffed into one hotel.
34
00:05:08,590 --> 00:05:11,390
We could have so much fun...
35
00:05:11,390 --> 00:05:13,560
together.
36
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,190
It's just that sleeping
with other guys
37
00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:16,960
is not how I imagined
my relationship.
38
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:20,560
Come on.
Its one open weekend.
39
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,300
At least try it.
40
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,170
Okay.
41
00:05:27,170 --> 00:05:30,070
One open weekend.
42
00:05:30,070 --> 00:05:31,370
Yay.
43
00:05:31,370 --> 00:05:33,210
I lurve you.
44
00:05:33,210 --> 00:05:34,540
I lurve you, too.
45
00:05:35,850 --> 00:05:37,180
You guys need to talk?
46
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:41,620
♪♪
47
00:05:41,620 --> 00:05:43,450
♪ We can dance,
we can dance ♪
48
00:05:43,450 --> 00:05:45,190
♪ We can dance all night ♪
49
00:05:45,190 --> 00:05:47,190
♪ We can dance,
we can dance ♪
50
00:05:47,190 --> 00:05:50,060
♪ We can dance all night ♪
51
00:05:50,060 --> 00:05:53,400
♪ Tonight is the night
I'm gonna make you mine ♪
52
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,560
♪ There's a feeling
in the air ♪
53
00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:57,600
♪ I can't deny ♪
54
00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,200
♪ Tonight we're gonna dance ♪
55
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,640
♪ I'll be your partner
in crime ♪
56
00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,640
♪ Got me on another level ♪
57
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,410
♪ I'll show you what I ♪
58
00:06:05,410 --> 00:06:09,550
♪ When I touch you,
my hands catch fire ♪
59
00:06:09,550 --> 00:06:12,020
♪ I can't stop dancing ♪
60
00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:13,950
♪ Take me higher ♪
61
00:06:13,950 --> 00:06:17,890
♪ Feel so good,
I think I'm flying ♪
62
00:06:17,890 --> 00:06:19,820
♪ Put your hands up ♪
63
00:06:19,820 --> 00:06:21,790
♪ Let's go higher ♪
64
00:06:21,790 --> 00:06:25,730
♪ Take my hand
and hold on tight ♪
65
00:06:25,730 --> 00:06:30,030
♪ 'Cause when I'm with you,
it feels so right ♪
66
00:06:30,030 --> 00:06:31,600
♪ Don't let go ♪
67
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,340
♪ Let's dance all night ♪
68
00:06:33,340 --> 00:06:35,510
♪ We can dance,
we can dance ♪
69
00:06:35,510 --> 00:06:38,110
♪ We can dance all night ♪
70
00:06:38,110 --> 00:06:41,510
♪ Take my hand
and hold on tight ♪
71
00:06:41,510 --> 00:06:45,850
♪ 'Cause when I'm with you,
it feels so right ♪
72
00:06:45,850 --> 00:06:47,350
♪ Don't let go ♪
73
00:06:47,350 --> 00:06:49,320
♪ Let's dance all night ♪
74
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,520
♪ We can dance,
we can dance ♪
75
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,890
♪ We can dance all night ♪
76
00:06:53,890 --> 00:06:57,290
♪ Take my hand
and hold on tight ♪
77
00:06:57,290 --> 00:07:02,000
♪ When I'm with you,
it feels so right ♪
78
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,330
♪ Don't let go ♪
79
00:07:03,330 --> 00:07:05,300
♪ Let's dance all night ♪
80
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,170
♪ We can dance,
we can dance ♪
81
00:07:07,170 --> 00:07:09,840
♪ We can dance all night ♪
82
00:07:14,980 --> 00:07:16,480
Just my luck
to win a free vacation
83
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:18,880
to a resort
that's totally gayified.
84
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:20,780
I know.
85
00:07:20,780 --> 00:07:22,150
Remember when I asked
86
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,350
what could possibly be gayer
than Drama Camp?
87
00:07:24,350 --> 00:07:25,560
Screw you, too.
88
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,860
- Excuse me?
- Look around.
89
00:07:27,860 --> 00:07:29,490
You're in fucking paradise,
surrounded by beautiful men.
90
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:30,890
And it's free.
91
00:07:30,890 --> 00:07:33,100
Now drop your uppity
Katy Perry attitudes,
92
00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:37,300
or the computer
might accidentally eat your reservations.
93
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,570
You're right.
94
00:07:38,570 --> 00:07:41,440
I'll just uh tie a flashlight
to my head,
95
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:42,770
act like Lady Gaga,
96
00:07:42,770 --> 00:07:44,110
and the men will flock to me.
97
00:07:44,110 --> 00:07:46,040
Now, that's the spirit.
98
00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:48,080
And here they are.
99
00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:49,580
I think the batteries are dead.
100
00:07:49,580 --> 00:07:51,980
You know that's not
a flashlight, right?
101
00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:57,820
Now, that is how you attract
the boys around here--
102
00:07:57,820 --> 00:07:59,590
With sweet, sweet nectar.
103
00:08:03,130 --> 00:08:04,760
Oh, come on Casey.
104
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,700
If I wasn't me, I'd totally
be laughing right now.
105
00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:09,300
What's wrong with you?
106
00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:13,140
My ex-boyfriend
and his new boyfriend just texted.
107
00:08:13,140 --> 00:08:16,740
They're here staying in Room 3.
108
00:08:16,740 --> 00:08:18,310
Your keys.
109
00:08:18,310 --> 00:08:22,010
Room 4.
110
00:08:22,010 --> 00:08:23,610
Hey, I'm supposed to get
my own room.
111
00:08:23,610 --> 00:08:25,920
And I'm supposed to be nice
to customers.
112
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,920
- Next!
- What? Wait.
113
00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:29,850
If you're gonna cry
like Baby Jesus,
114
00:08:29,850 --> 00:08:31,620
I can put you out back
in the manger.
115
00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:33,920
Oh, my God, we share a bed.
116
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,560
Welcome to the Triangle Inn.
117
00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:39,360
Eh, Eh.
Come on.
118
00:08:40,630 --> 00:08:42,870
You have really nice energy.
119
00:08:48,670 --> 00:08:51,570
Well, at least Zack
will be with his boyfriend,
120
00:08:51,570 --> 00:08:55,110
so you don't have to watch
him whore it up with a...
121
00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:58,580
never ending parade
of man-whores with muscles
122
00:08:58,580 --> 00:08:59,980
and huge sacks of ball-age.
123
00:08:59,980 --> 00:09:01,820
I'm ready to leave. Now.
124
00:09:01,820 --> 00:09:03,750
No, Casey you can't!
125
00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:05,250
This is too much for me.
126
00:09:05,250 --> 00:09:10,390
I need to call some
more experienced fag hags.
127
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:15,000
Hello?
128
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,130
This better be good.
129
00:09:16,130 --> 00:09:17,600
Casey's wussing out
130
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,870
because Zack's here,
131
00:09:18,870 --> 00:09:20,140
and there's lots
of hot guys, too.
132
00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:21,570
Do I even know you?
133
00:09:21,570 --> 00:09:24,610
Honey, just pretend
he doesn't exist.
134
00:09:24,610 --> 00:09:27,110
Gays do that all the time
to with their exes.
135
00:09:27,110 --> 00:09:28,980
It's the mature thing to do.
136
00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:30,910
I can't ignore him.
137
00:09:30,910 --> 00:09:33,520
He wants to work on our
friendship this weekend.
138
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:35,450
He wants us to normalize.
139
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,650
It's like when you put
a new fish in the tank,
140
00:09:37,650 --> 00:09:39,490
you have to keep it
in the bag for a while
141
00:09:39,490 --> 00:09:40,960
so the others
don't eat its eyes.
142
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,590
Girl voice, hush.
143
00:09:42,590 --> 00:09:45,090
Casey, just be his friend
144
00:09:45,090 --> 00:09:46,660
and have an obnoxious
amount of fun.
145
00:09:46,660 --> 00:09:50,130
Show that assgoblin
what he's missing.
146
00:09:50,130 --> 00:09:51,770
You can't be friends
after a break-up.
147
00:09:51,770 --> 00:09:55,810
I thought you told him
that you wanted to be friends.
148
00:09:55,810 --> 00:09:57,310
Everyone says that.
149
00:09:57,310 --> 00:09:58,670
It's just so you can go
around telling people
150
00:09:58,670 --> 00:10:00,110
you're still friends.
151
00:10:00,110 --> 00:10:02,080
Wait, whose side did I take
in this break up?
152
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:03,510
Do I even like you?
153
00:10:03,510 --> 00:10:04,680
You took my side.
154
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:05,820
You knew me first.
155
00:10:05,820 --> 00:10:07,220
Oh, is that how that works?
156
00:10:07,220 --> 00:10:11,220
Look, honey, this weekend
is not about Zack.
157
00:10:11,220 --> 00:10:13,720
Just concentrate on having
a really good time.
158
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,090
Aunt Helen,
are you having sex in my bed?
159
00:10:16,090 --> 00:10:18,230
I wouldn't call it sex.
160
00:10:18,230 --> 00:10:21,600
The best thing to do is to find someone
hotter than Zack and fuck him.
161
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:23,870
And what are you doing?
162
00:10:23,870 --> 00:10:26,100
It's a long story.
163
00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:27,570
I'll explain it in the sequel.
164
00:10:27,570 --> 00:10:28,740
Gotta go.
165
00:10:28,740 --> 00:10:31,210
Bye.
166
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:37,950
So I guess my goal this weekend
167
00:10:37,950 --> 00:10:39,680
is to stay distracted.
168
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,750
My goal is to watch
two men have sex.
169
00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:44,120
You've seen that.
170
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,260
It doesn't count
when it's on stage.
171
00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:48,520
Here it's like I'm on a safari
172
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,660
watching lions and gazelles
tear each other up
173
00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:54,730
in a frenzy of flesh
and spermicidal lubricant.
174
00:10:54,730 --> 00:10:57,970
Wouldn't you actually
rather just have sex?
175
00:10:57,970 --> 00:10:59,970
What, with a gay man?
176
00:10:59,970 --> 00:11:03,140
And wind up with
a vagina full of vomit?
177
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:06,410
Been there.
178
00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:09,650
Oh my God, my straight-dar
just went off.
179
00:11:09,650 --> 00:11:12,580
Maybe I could lose
my virginity on this trip.
180
00:11:14,250 --> 00:11:16,120
Tell me what happened,
181
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:17,820
but I'm gonna stop you
if I get bored.
182
00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:20,420
He doesn't want to limit
himself sexually.
183
00:11:20,420 --> 00:11:22,190
How Catholic.
184
00:11:22,190 --> 00:11:27,000
Miami Beach or Black Giraffe.
185
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:30,070
Which says "Look at me"
without saying "desperate for attention"?
186
00:11:31,770 --> 00:11:33,240
I ordered cocktails.
187
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:34,600
I figured we'd need them.
188
00:11:37,910 --> 00:11:39,610
Why, hello.
189
00:11:39,610 --> 00:11:41,010
How are you?
190
00:11:41,010 --> 00:11:42,710
Heterosexual.
191
00:11:42,710 --> 00:11:44,710
How about you?
192
00:11:44,710 --> 00:11:46,520
I am straight, yes.
193
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,780
I wasn't expecting
any of that here.
194
00:11:48,780 --> 00:11:51,120
Well, I'm full of surprises.
195
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,760
- Are you flirting with me?
- Should I stop?
196
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,160
Only if it doesn't work.
197
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,690
Lilly, come on.
198
00:11:56,690 --> 00:11:59,600
Sorry, I have to go feed
my gayby.
199
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:06,700
It's like cock roulette
out here.
200
00:12:08,140 --> 00:12:10,470
You should have no problem
finding a rebound.
201
00:12:10,470 --> 00:12:12,240
Hmm. I don't do rebounds.
202
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,580
Rebounds are my specialty.
203
00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:16,810
- Peter?
- Casey.
204
00:12:16,810 --> 00:12:18,550
I thought that was you.
205
00:12:18,550 --> 00:12:20,480
What are you doing here?
I didn't know you were gay.
206
00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,850
What are you doing here?
I didn't know you were a slut.
207
00:12:22,850 --> 00:12:24,790
Oh, my God, this is crazy.
208
00:12:24,790 --> 00:12:26,990
Umm. In high school, he was--
209
00:12:26,990 --> 00:12:28,290
The homophobic jock?
210
00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:29,790
I've seen Glee.
211
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:32,830
God, I wish.
I was fat.
212
00:12:32,830 --> 00:12:33,930
- No.
- And shy.
213
00:12:33,930 --> 00:12:37,170
When did you get so-- so hot?
214
00:12:37,170 --> 00:12:38,270
In college.
215
00:12:38,270 --> 00:12:39,500
I turned gay,
216
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:43,370
I got rid of my braces,
and I got these.
217
00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:44,210
Wow.
218
00:12:44,210 --> 00:12:46,640
Is that, like, a 50-pack?
219
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,010
Feel them.
220
00:12:48,010 --> 00:12:50,550
Its like The Situation,
just without the scabies.
221
00:12:50,550 --> 00:12:52,380
Oh, cool.
222
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:56,020
Is it me, or does something
smell really cummy?
223
00:12:56,020 --> 00:12:58,790
So, Peter, are you single?
224
00:12:58,790 --> 00:13:00,890
What's the point of coming
to a place like this
225
00:13:00,890 --> 00:13:02,160
if you're not single?
226
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:03,930
Casey's single, too.
227
00:13:03,930 --> 00:13:05,530
Oh, my God.
228
00:13:05,530 --> 00:13:08,700
You and I are gonna get
into so much trouble.
229
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:11,430
Anyway, I gotta go meet
with a buddy
230
00:13:11,430 --> 00:13:12,430
to play some strip tennis,
231
00:13:12,430 --> 00:13:14,670
but tonight, sarong party.
232
00:13:14,670 --> 00:13:16,100
I will find you.
233
00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:18,110
I will make sure I'm findable.
234
00:13:18,110 --> 00:13:21,240
So amazing seeing you, Casey.
235
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,280
I used to have
the biggest crush on this one.
236
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,550
He totally wants you
inside of--
237
00:13:30,550 --> 00:13:33,660
He wants the Million Man March
inside of him.
238
00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:35,420
Aw, poor thing.
239
00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:37,360
Let's go get you to our room
240
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:40,130
and download some
"It Gets Better" videos.
241
00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:44,930
So tell me, what are the rules
to this open relationship?
242
00:13:44,930 --> 00:13:46,570
Well, we're just trying it
for the weekend,
243
00:13:46,570 --> 00:13:48,140
but other than that
we don't have any rules.
244
00:13:48,140 --> 00:13:50,770
You need to have rules,
or someone's gonna get hurt,
245
00:13:50,770 --> 00:13:53,710
like do you kiss and tell,
three-ways only?
246
00:13:53,710 --> 00:13:55,410
Is he allowed
to get punch fucked
247
00:13:55,410 --> 00:13:57,750
by hairy strangers
right here in your bed?
248
00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:00,680
- You know the worst part?
- STDs?
249
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:04,020
I have to compete
with my own boyfriend to meet guys,
250
00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:07,960
and he'll win every time
because he's the hot one.
251
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,430
Now I know how Casey felt
when he was dating me.
252
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:15,870
- Well, I got good news.
- What?
253
00:14:15,870 --> 00:14:20,340
I finally got the date
on my surgery.
254
00:14:20,340 --> 00:14:22,710
The big one.
255
00:14:22,710 --> 00:14:24,410
The lower one.
256
00:14:24,410 --> 00:14:27,940
- Make a face like that again.
- Sorry.
257
00:14:27,940 --> 00:14:29,380
Congratulations.
258
00:14:29,380 --> 00:14:31,410
That's huge.
259
00:14:31,410 --> 00:14:33,150
Way more important
than my drama.
260
00:14:33,150 --> 00:14:34,980
Thank you.
261
00:14:34,980 --> 00:14:38,550
So do you really think
it's going to change everything?
262
00:14:38,550 --> 00:14:41,720
In my mind I know
it's just a simple procedure
263
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,630
and a lot of people won't
even know the difference,
264
00:14:44,630 --> 00:14:49,800
but I feel like when I wake up
from this,
265
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,270
I'll finally be me.
266
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:56,370
- Well, then let's celebrate.
- Yes.
267
00:14:56,370 --> 00:14:59,940
This weekend will be
a cock-and-ball funeral.
268
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:02,250
Let's find that straight boy
and get more drinks.
269
00:15:04,350 --> 00:15:05,880
Ooh, baby.
270
00:15:12,190 --> 00:15:15,420
There are so many hot guys here.
271
00:15:15,420 --> 00:15:18,230
Okay, we need to lay down
some rules.
272
00:15:18,230 --> 00:15:19,530
Rules?
273
00:15:19,530 --> 00:15:21,600
Yeah, like no hooking up
in our bed.
274
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,800
Technically, it's not our bed.
275
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:25,470
Benji.
276
00:15:25,470 --> 00:15:28,570
Okay, I just don't get
why you need rules.
277
00:15:28,570 --> 00:15:29,770
It's our right as gay men
278
00:15:29,770 --> 00:15:32,740
to make any kind
of relationship we want.
279
00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:34,310
If they're not gonna let us
get married,
280
00:15:34,310 --> 00:15:36,780
why should we follow
their rules?
281
00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:39,480
Non-monogamy
is the ultimate political statement.
282
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,420
Uh, I don't see
how two dicks in your mouth
283
00:15:41,420 --> 00:15:42,790
is a political statement.
284
00:15:42,790 --> 00:15:45,250
We owe it to future generations.
285
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:51,560
Casey's here.
286
00:15:53,260 --> 00:15:54,760
Operation Awkward.
287
00:15:57,830 --> 00:16:02,240
Okay, rule number two--
288
00:16:03,770 --> 00:16:06,010
No ex-boyfriends.
289
00:16:06,010 --> 00:16:07,510
I'll see you later.
290
00:16:10,150 --> 00:16:11,810
I'm not pathetic.
291
00:16:11,810 --> 00:16:14,150
I'm having the best time
of my life,
292
00:16:14,150 --> 00:16:16,520
and I am a total 7.
293
00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:21,620
Hey, Zack.
294
00:16:21,620 --> 00:16:24,090
Oh, wow, I love your--
295
00:16:24,090 --> 00:16:25,960
Uh, chest hair.
296
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,230
God, I've missed you.
297
00:16:29,230 --> 00:16:30,270
How're you doing?
298
00:16:30,270 --> 00:16:31,700
Um, me?
299
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,900
I'm--
300
00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:36,110
I'm great, actually.
301
00:16:36,110 --> 00:16:39,510
How can you not be
with all these studs around, you know?
302
00:16:39,510 --> 00:16:41,310
Yeah, lots of studs.
303
00:16:41,310 --> 00:16:44,310
Oh, just throwing
themselves at me--
304
00:16:44,310 --> 00:16:45,510
How could I resist?
305
00:16:45,510 --> 00:16:47,850
You met someone already?
306
00:16:47,850 --> 00:16:51,750
Well, I guess I'm kind
of a dick magnet.
307
00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:53,760
I never thought of you
as a hook-up guy.
308
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,090
Oh, this wasn't just a hook up.
309
00:16:56,090 --> 00:16:59,360
We-- We really
just hit it off.
310
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:02,030
Oh.
311
00:17:02,030 --> 00:17:03,430
Where's your Casanova now?
312
00:17:03,430 --> 00:17:08,000
He's-- He's sleeping.
313
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,240
Guess I wore him out.
314
00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:13,540
Wow. That's great.
315
00:17:13,540 --> 00:17:16,080
We should do a double date
while we're here.
316
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:19,180
Yeah. Oh, definitely.
317
00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:22,580
Ah, so how are you and Benji?
318
00:17:22,580 --> 00:17:25,320
Having a good time?
319
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,260
- The best.
- Great.
320
00:17:28,260 --> 00:17:30,560
So tomorrow, brunch?
321
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:34,230
- Huh?
- Double date with your new boo?
322
00:17:34,230 --> 00:17:35,560
Um, yeah.
323
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:37,970
Sure. Sure...
324
00:17:37,970 --> 00:17:39,200
Awesome.
325
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,200
See? We can do this.
326
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,670
Be friends.
327
00:17:44,310 --> 00:17:45,880
Friendship rocks.
328
00:17:56,020 --> 00:17:59,490
- This is the perfect place to
find your meat puppet. - My what?
329
00:17:59,490 --> 00:18:00,790
Some big dumb jock
330
00:18:00,790 --> 00:18:02,660
who will pretend to be
in love with you
331
00:18:02,660 --> 00:18:06,400
for a free brunch
and some rebound MuMa.
332
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,900
- MuMa?
- Mutual Masturbation.
333
00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:10,930
Even I knew that.
334
00:18:10,930 --> 00:18:14,400
What about... him?
335
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,370
Oh, he's cute.
336
00:18:17,370 --> 00:18:19,540
I'd definitely MuMa him.
337
00:18:23,850 --> 00:18:26,220
He's not wearing any underwear.
338
00:18:26,220 --> 00:18:30,020
None of them are.
It's customary, I think.
339
00:18:30,020 --> 00:18:31,790
So I can just run around
340
00:18:31,790 --> 00:18:34,320
accidentally fondling
big shiny ding dongs?
341
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,090
I think they'd be insulted
if you didn't.
342
00:18:39,130 --> 00:18:43,400
You are the hottest guy here.
343
00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:47,670
Okay, okay.
344
00:18:50,540 --> 00:18:53,280
You are the hottest guy here.
345
00:18:54,940 --> 00:18:56,980
Is it bad that I want him
to say that to me again?
346
00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,520
You can almost see the crabs
347
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,480
leaping from one torso
to the other.
348
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:06,760
- Jerry?
- In the very loose flesh.
349
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,430
This is Bernard, my fiancé.
350
00:19:09,430 --> 00:19:12,390
- Hello.
- I'm Penny, hag-in-training.
351
00:19:12,390 --> 00:19:14,100
Fiancé- wow.
352
00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:16,000
We're getting legally married
this weekend.
353
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,230
What?
354
00:19:17,230 --> 00:19:20,270
You haven't heard about
the Liberace Loophole?
355
00:19:20,270 --> 00:19:22,100
Who's Liberace?
356
00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:24,170
Think George Michael,
only sluttier.
357
00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:25,840
Who's George Michael?
358
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,840
Think Adam Lambert,
but with plastic surgery and success.
359
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,280
Oh, okay.
360
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:33,350
Anyway, because of some
legislative screw-up,
361
00:19:33,350 --> 00:19:34,720
there's a one hour window
362
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:36,450
in which it will be
legally permissible
363
00:19:36,450 --> 00:19:38,050
for gays to marry.
364
00:19:38,050 --> 00:19:39,960
We're staying over
at the Hacienda resort
365
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,090
and they're offering
free weddings
366
00:19:42,090 --> 00:19:44,560
for any couple who wants
to take advantage of the opening.
367
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,300
I love to taking advantage
of openings.
368
00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:48,160
As you can see,
369
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:51,700
he shares my inappropriate
and pedestrian sense of humor.
370
00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:53,230
Well, I totally be
your flower girl.
371
00:19:53,230 --> 00:19:55,800
Where's that strapping young
boyfriend of yours?
372
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:59,470
Um, it's-- it's a long story.
373
00:19:59,470 --> 00:20:01,710
Oh, honey, what happened?
374
00:20:01,710 --> 00:20:04,380
I thought you were as steady
as Barack and Michelle.
375
00:20:04,380 --> 00:20:06,850
Well, he's...
376
00:20:08,350 --> 00:20:10,090
here.
Gotta go.
377
00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:17,230
- Youth.
- The trolls of tomorrow.
378
00:20:23,730 --> 00:20:25,830
What're you doing to my dick?
379
00:20:25,830 --> 00:20:26,740
Nothing.
380
00:20:26,740 --> 00:20:30,540
Peter, here's the deal.
381
00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:32,040
Oh, God, those abs.
382
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:33,810
Casey did a really stupid thing
383
00:20:33,810 --> 00:20:35,880
and lied to his ex
that he met someone here
384
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:37,410
because he didn't want
to look like the loser
385
00:20:37,410 --> 00:20:39,010
that he may very well be,
386
00:20:39,010 --> 00:20:41,520
so we need you to pretend
to be Casey's boyfriend.
387
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,350
No way.
388
00:20:43,350 --> 00:20:45,020
I'm here to get my sex on.
389
00:20:45,020 --> 00:20:46,920
Please, for old time's sake?
390
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,420
We didn't hang out at all
in high school.
391
00:20:48,420 --> 00:20:52,090
So you've got
a lot of catching up to do.
392
00:20:52,090 --> 00:20:54,360
Look, I'm all
for hooking with you.
393
00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:56,560
But I'm not in a place
where I can date right now,
394
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,270
pretend or otherwise.
395
00:20:59,270 --> 00:21:02,810
Wait, you're
all for hooking up with me?
396
00:21:05,070 --> 00:21:07,840
Shit.
397
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,910
Is this your new boyfriend?
398
00:21:11,610 --> 00:21:13,180
Um...
399
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,950
Hi, I'm Peter.
400
00:21:16,950 --> 00:21:19,360
I'm Zack.
This is my--
401
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:21,360
Benji.
402
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:24,460
Your dish towel's slipping.
403
00:21:24,460 --> 00:21:25,930
Oh, yeah, it is.
404
00:21:25,930 --> 00:21:27,730
Are we on for tomorrow morning?
405
00:21:27,730 --> 00:21:29,830
Uh, I don't know.
406
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:31,970
Are we free
for brunch tomorrow, baby?
407
00:21:31,970 --> 00:21:34,370
As long as it starts
after 3:00 p.m.
408
00:21:34,370 --> 00:21:37,040
'Cause we'll be up
all night making love.
409
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:38,340
Right, lover?
410
00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:41,780
Something like that,
my sweet little asshole.
411
00:21:41,780 --> 00:21:44,250
Great.
Well, we're gonna go dance.
412
00:21:52,350 --> 00:21:55,930
You are so buying me drinks
the rest of the weekend.
413
00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:05,700
♪ Fingers to the head,
to the toes ♪
414
00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,440
♪ Like some kind of rose ♪
415
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:11,540
♪ Like something
you'd notice ♪
416
00:22:11,540 --> 00:22:13,710
♪ In a room full of confusion ♪
417
00:22:13,710 --> 00:22:17,210
♪ And illusion
and delusion ♪
418
00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:19,950
♪ There's someone saying
something to you ♪
419
00:22:19,950 --> 00:22:21,920
♪ But what can you do?
420
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,690
♪ You're just hoping
and hoping ♪
421
00:22:25,690 --> 00:22:27,460
♪ But a rose is just a rose ♪
422
00:22:27,460 --> 00:22:29,490
♪ Until she's
underneath your nose ♪
423
00:22:29,490 --> 00:22:32,830
♪ And you see her
in the room ♪
424
00:22:32,830 --> 00:22:36,270
♪ And you smell
her perfume ♪
425
00:22:36,270 --> 00:22:41,870
♪ What a fuss, and she's
just the one for us ♪
426
00:22:41,870 --> 00:22:45,010
♪ You're taking it
in stride, but you know ♪
427
00:22:45,010 --> 00:22:50,480
♪ That people you know
are beginning to notice ♪
428
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:56,150
♪ Your words full of confusion
and illusion and delusion ♪
429
00:22:56,150 --> 00:22:59,020
♪ And the girl you brought
to party with you ♪
430
00:22:59,020 --> 00:23:02,260
- Have fun?
- Yeah.
431
00:23:02,260 --> 00:23:03,690
Busy steam room here.
432
00:23:03,690 --> 00:23:06,560
How bout you?
433
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,130
Yep.
434
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:15,700
Oh, really?
You met someone?
435
00:23:15,700 --> 00:23:17,170
Mm...
436
00:23:17,170 --> 00:23:20,340
Well, congratulations, tramp.
437
00:23:20,340 --> 00:23:23,380
Hey, maybe we can get
a little threesome going?
438
00:23:26,650 --> 00:23:28,420
I saw you come out of that room.
439
00:23:28,420 --> 00:23:31,320
I can't believe you had
a threesome before brunch.
440
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,990
Oh, my God, a gay guy's acting slutty.
Call TMZ.
441
00:23:33,990 --> 00:23:35,860
Just be careful, all right?
442
00:23:35,860 --> 00:23:38,290
If Zack sees you with someone
who isn't me, it's all over.
443
00:23:38,290 --> 00:23:39,960
Come on.
We're late for brunch.
444
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,160
I haven't showered.
Do I smell like sex?
445
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,270
Everything here smells like sex.
446
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,640
We should get married.
447
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,370
What?
448
00:23:51,370 --> 00:23:54,980
They're doing those legal
weddings for one hour tomorrow.
449
00:23:54,980 --> 00:23:56,650
The more gay couples who marry,
450
00:23:56,650 --> 00:23:58,580
the bigger
the impact on society.
451
00:23:58,580 --> 00:24:01,650
We should get married
to make a political statement.
452
00:24:01,650 --> 00:24:03,950
Yesterday you wanted
to have an orgy
453
00:24:03,950 --> 00:24:05,590
to make a political statement.
454
00:24:05,590 --> 00:24:06,920
Now you want to get married?
455
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:08,460
What's wrong?
456
00:24:08,460 --> 00:24:10,230
You've been acting like
Kristen Stewart all morning.
457
00:24:10,230 --> 00:24:11,790
I'm fine.
458
00:24:11,790 --> 00:24:15,030
No, I know that Zacky pout...
459
00:24:15,030 --> 00:24:16,600
You wanna know what's wrong?
460
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,430
- I'm upset because--
- Hey, you guys.
461
00:24:19,430 --> 00:24:21,070
Here we are.
462
00:24:25,570 --> 00:24:28,040
Lilly, I was looking for you.
463
00:24:31,350 --> 00:24:33,210
It's Penny.
464
00:24:33,210 --> 00:24:34,850
Since we're the only two
straight girls here,
465
00:24:34,850 --> 00:24:36,580
we should probably hang out.
466
00:24:36,580 --> 00:24:38,090
Okay, but stop smiling.
467
00:24:38,090 --> 00:24:40,690
You're giving me a headache.
468
00:24:40,690 --> 00:24:41,990
How'd you two meet?
469
00:24:41,990 --> 00:24:44,330
We go way back to high school.
470
00:24:44,330 --> 00:24:46,160
I thought you said
you met yesterday.
471
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:50,130
Well, we gay met yesterday.
472
00:24:50,130 --> 00:24:52,500
He never paid attention
to me in high school,
473
00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:55,140
but this time...
474
00:24:55,140 --> 00:24:56,810
sparks.
475
00:24:59,610 --> 00:25:02,240
Sparks are what it's all about.
Right, honey?
476
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:03,780
Mm-hm.
477
00:25:03,780 --> 00:25:06,610
Sparks.
478
00:25:06,610 --> 00:25:09,320
Looks like they're having
a really nice time.
479
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,220
Are you kidding?
480
00:25:11,220 --> 00:25:14,460
Okay, check out your
pigmentally challenged friend.
481
00:25:14,460 --> 00:25:15,890
He has his hands all over
482
00:25:15,890 --> 00:25:19,230
that Ryan Phillippe/
Kwanten/Reynolds guy,
483
00:25:19,230 --> 00:25:22,460
but his eyes are on Zack.
484
00:25:22,460 --> 00:25:25,470
So looks like you two can't
get enough of each other.
485
00:25:25,470 --> 00:25:28,200
Oh, I know.
I mean, look at us.
486
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:29,810
We're practically making love.
487
00:25:29,810 --> 00:25:31,410
Nope.
488
00:25:31,410 --> 00:25:34,180
We can't keep our hands
off of each other.
489
00:25:34,180 --> 00:25:37,880
Oh, my God, it's huge.
490
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:39,910
Surprises me every time.
491
00:25:41,350 --> 00:25:43,280
Should you two be doing
that in public?
492
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:45,050
The sign doesn't say
public resort.
493
00:25:45,050 --> 00:25:48,060
Maybe we shouldn't.
494
00:25:48,060 --> 00:25:49,760
Not without kissing anyway.
495
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,490
Excellent idea.
496
00:26:01,170 --> 00:26:02,470
Nice.
497
00:26:07,980 --> 00:26:10,010
That gets me hot.
498
00:26:21,390 --> 00:26:23,390
I will never truly
understand the gays.
499
00:26:23,390 --> 00:26:25,430
You don't even understand
the Wheel of Fortune.
500
00:26:25,430 --> 00:26:27,330
Good afternoon,
beautiful ladies.
501
00:26:27,330 --> 00:26:30,500
Hello, I-- we--
502
00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:32,900
Hola, Luis.
503
00:26:32,900 --> 00:26:34,570
I met Luis earlier.
504
00:26:34,570 --> 00:26:35,670
So did I.
505
00:26:35,670 --> 00:26:37,470
Like eye contact met.
506
00:26:37,470 --> 00:26:38,970
Remember?
507
00:26:38,970 --> 00:26:40,740
Can I bring you
something else to drink?
508
00:26:40,740 --> 00:26:43,110
Oh, I'm good. Oh.
509
00:26:43,110 --> 00:26:46,480
Oh, Allow me to clean you up.
510
00:26:50,490 --> 00:26:51,890
Oh, Jesus.
511
00:26:51,890 --> 00:26:54,620
That is not how
a gay man touches boobs.
512
00:26:54,620 --> 00:26:57,360
- I knew you were straight.
- You are correct.
513
00:26:57,360 --> 00:27:00,230
Why would a straight guy
want to work here?
514
00:27:00,230 --> 00:27:02,060
There are many reasons
to work here,
515
00:27:02,060 --> 00:27:05,500
many beautiful reasons.
516
00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:07,470
I am going to bring you
another drink.
517
00:27:12,110 --> 00:27:14,840
That is who I'm giving
my virginity to.
518
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:15,980
Back off.
519
00:27:15,980 --> 00:27:17,110
We flirted yesterday.
520
00:27:17,110 --> 00:27:18,280
We've established something.
521
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:20,310
But he touched my breast.
522
00:27:20,310 --> 00:27:22,820
Normally I would never fight
with another woman
523
00:27:22,820 --> 00:27:24,750
over a man, but fuck it.
524
00:27:24,750 --> 00:27:26,350
I'm bored.
525
00:27:26,350 --> 00:27:27,590
It's on.
526
00:27:37,730 --> 00:27:39,170
Ew.
527
00:27:41,370 --> 00:27:42,970
We should do brunch
with them again.
528
00:27:42,970 --> 00:27:45,640
Are you kidding?
That was awful.
529
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:47,610
Huh?
530
00:27:47,610 --> 00:27:49,010
We spent the entire time
531
00:27:49,010 --> 00:27:50,280
pretending to be
something we're not--
532
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:51,650
Happily monogamous.
533
00:27:51,650 --> 00:27:54,050
Don't try to make me
the bad guy here.
534
00:27:54,050 --> 00:27:55,820
You agreed to be open
this weekend.
535
00:27:55,820 --> 00:27:57,390
You could've said no.
536
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:03,990
What possessed me
to break up with Zack
537
00:28:03,990 --> 00:28:06,260
and then try to be friends
with him?
538
00:28:06,260 --> 00:28:08,230
I mean, you'd think
I would've learned
539
00:28:08,230 --> 00:28:10,530
from every relationship
Jennifer Aniston's ever had.
540
00:28:10,530 --> 00:28:14,170
You broke up with him
because you loved him,
541
00:28:14,170 --> 00:28:15,700
and you want be friends with him
542
00:28:15,700 --> 00:28:17,140
because you still love him.
543
00:28:17,140 --> 00:28:19,570
Unfortunately, he loves Benji.
544
00:28:19,570 --> 00:28:20,710
Don't remind me.
545
00:28:20,710 --> 00:28:23,080
Did you see them
all over each other today,
546
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:26,210
like horny little monkeys?
547
00:28:26,210 --> 00:28:28,580
There was a lot of horny
at that table.
548
00:28:28,580 --> 00:28:31,150
It doesn't count
if you're faking it,
549
00:28:31,150 --> 00:28:33,920
which, I was,
550
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:35,620
except for the erection part.
551
00:28:37,890 --> 00:28:39,430
Casey and Peter
552
00:28:39,430 --> 00:28:41,760
don't need to an open
relationship to be happy.
553
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,400
They've been together
for, like, five minutes,
554
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,330
and I can tell Peter's
already getting bored.
555
00:28:46,330 --> 00:28:48,270
Is that how long it took you
to get bored with me?
556
00:28:50,340 --> 00:28:52,440
Come on.
557
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,110
We're in the middle of nowhere
558
00:28:54,110 --> 00:28:56,880
with hot guys
we'll never see again.
559
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:58,480
We can misbehave a little.
560
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,980
Then back to normal at home.
561
00:29:00,980 --> 00:29:03,050
Yeah, but which
is the normal you?
562
00:29:03,050 --> 00:29:04,590
This one or the one back home?
563
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,590
Peter is boning everything
in sight.
564
00:29:10,590 --> 00:29:13,790
I'm gonna get busted,
and you know what?
565
00:29:13,790 --> 00:29:15,830
I'll deserve it.
566
00:29:15,830 --> 00:29:18,030
You know what always helps me
567
00:29:18,030 --> 00:29:20,270
when I get into
this exact situation?
568
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:23,710
An ego boost.
569
00:29:23,710 --> 00:29:25,140
Oh, my God,
570
00:29:25,140 --> 00:29:26,810
you look amazing.
571
00:29:35,650 --> 00:29:37,750
So do you.
572
00:29:37,750 --> 00:29:39,190
Come on, now.
573
00:29:39,190 --> 00:29:41,260
You made Zack
fall in love with you once.
574
00:29:41,260 --> 00:29:43,990
It's not like you're Marmaduke.
575
00:29:43,990 --> 00:29:45,830
Look at this face...
576
00:29:45,830 --> 00:29:48,660
Madonna would pay good money
for cheekbones like those.
577
00:29:48,660 --> 00:29:50,230
Especially for her face.
578
00:29:50,230 --> 00:29:53,200
And you're funny and smart
579
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:56,600
and all the things some
wonderful, sexy stud
580
00:29:56,600 --> 00:30:00,880
is gonna see in you as soon as
you start seeing it yourself.
581
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,210
Well, thank you, Mother.
582
00:30:03,210 --> 00:30:05,050
Momma needs you to do
something for her.
583
00:30:05,050 --> 00:30:07,080
- What?
- Wait for me at the bar.
584
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,850
You have to protect me from Lilly
while I move in on the guy she wants.
585
00:30:10,850 --> 00:30:13,220
Are you serious?
586
00:30:13,220 --> 00:30:15,820
It's your turn to be my hag.
587
00:30:26,870 --> 00:30:28,200
These are perfection.
588
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:31,010
I shall call it "The Lilly."
589
00:30:31,010 --> 00:30:34,510
Oh, my.
590
00:30:34,510 --> 00:30:38,310
So how many lonely fag hags
have you picked up here?
591
00:30:38,310 --> 00:30:40,180
Not as much as you might think.
592
00:30:40,180 --> 00:30:41,620
Don't give me that.
593
00:30:41,620 --> 00:30:43,680
Tons of women get dragged here
by gay friends
594
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,760
who dump them
for poppers and handjobs.
595
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:47,890
Um, I'm right here.
596
00:30:47,890 --> 00:30:49,690
Yeah, but your brain isn't.
597
00:30:49,690 --> 00:30:52,730
It's in Benji's pants
or Casey's ass
598
00:30:52,730 --> 00:30:53,800
or some shit like that.
599
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:55,730
It's not like that.
600
00:30:55,730 --> 00:30:56,970
I just don't want Casey
to find out
601
00:30:56,970 --> 00:30:58,570
about our open weekend thing.
602
00:30:58,570 --> 00:31:00,370
What would happen
if Casey found out?
603
00:31:00,370 --> 00:31:02,000
He'd say something like,
604
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,010
"You're better than being
in a relationship
605
00:31:04,010 --> 00:31:05,410
that isn't working for you."
606
00:31:05,410 --> 00:31:07,540
You make Casey
sound pretty smart.
607
00:31:07,540 --> 00:31:09,950
But compromise is what being in
a relationship's all about, right?
608
00:31:09,950 --> 00:31:12,710
I should give it a try before
throwing the whole thing away.
609
00:31:12,710 --> 00:31:16,280
Well, here's your chance
to test your theory.
610
00:31:17,890 --> 00:31:19,020
How's it going?
611
00:31:19,020 --> 00:31:20,460
Okay.
612
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:22,920
You're great at this.
613
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:25,130
I'm Jaden.
614
00:31:25,130 --> 00:31:26,860
You having fun this weekend?
615
00:31:26,860 --> 00:31:31,500
Yeah, I'm liking
the peace and quiet.
616
00:31:31,500 --> 00:31:32,870
Okay.
617
00:31:35,770 --> 00:31:38,440
Actually,
that came out all wrong.
618
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:39,810
What I mean to say is
619
00:31:39,810 --> 00:31:41,410
I'm having a great weekend...
620
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:44,310
now.
621
00:31:44,310 --> 00:31:45,710
Oh, yeah?
622
00:31:45,710 --> 00:31:48,120
Yeah.
623
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,550
That's so hot.
624
00:31:50,550 --> 00:31:53,190
You tried the Jacuzzi yet?
625
00:31:53,190 --> 00:31:54,460
Yeah.
626
00:31:54,460 --> 00:31:57,730
But I could always go again.
627
00:31:57,730 --> 00:32:00,260
I want to wrap my legs
around your face
628
00:32:00,260 --> 00:32:03,670
like a pair of Bono sunglasses.
629
00:32:03,670 --> 00:32:04,870
And then what?
630
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:09,940
Shit.
631
00:32:09,940 --> 00:32:11,670
Okay.
632
00:32:11,670 --> 00:32:12,940
I gotta go.
633
00:32:19,310 --> 00:32:20,820
Hey, Peter,
634
00:32:20,820 --> 00:32:23,250
just saw your boyfriend
heading into the bar.
635
00:32:27,690 --> 00:32:29,890
I don't mess with guys
in relationships.
636
00:32:29,890 --> 00:32:31,960
It's too much drama.
637
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:33,560
Okay.
638
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:36,060
Wouldn't want to compromise
your morals.
639
00:32:36,060 --> 00:32:37,830
See? Drama.
640
00:32:39,330 --> 00:32:40,770
Fuck.
641
00:32:51,110 --> 00:32:52,710
Holy shit.
642
00:33:10,100 --> 00:33:14,440
He's cheating on Zack.
643
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:16,500
Hey Zackattack,
I brought you a present.
644
00:33:16,500 --> 00:33:18,070
What is he doing here?
645
00:33:18,070 --> 00:33:20,710
Your boyfriend wanted
to watch us do it.
646
00:33:23,780 --> 00:33:27,080
- Consider him a peace offering.
- I don't know.
647
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:28,950
- Is he too fat?
- Am I what?
648
00:33:28,950 --> 00:33:31,790
No, he's perfect, but...
649
00:33:31,790 --> 00:33:33,920
Come on.
650
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,390
Your boyfriend's
really into this.
651
00:33:36,390 --> 00:33:38,530
Plus, l bet you taste delicious.
652
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:52,910
Damn, guys, that's hot.
653
00:33:52,910 --> 00:33:54,640
Oh, yeah, so hot...
654
00:33:57,380 --> 00:33:58,780
Are you okay?
655
00:33:58,780 --> 00:34:00,150
You're kinda limp down there.
656
00:34:00,150 --> 00:34:02,380
Just pretend.
657
00:34:02,380 --> 00:34:03,880
Suck it.
658
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:05,820
Suck it with that pretty mouth.
659
00:34:08,290 --> 00:34:10,020
Oh, yeah.
660
00:34:10,020 --> 00:34:12,290
Yeah, do his face.
661
00:34:14,900 --> 00:34:16,230
Oh, yeah.
662
00:34:16,230 --> 00:34:17,330
Oh, my God, I'm close.
663
00:34:17,330 --> 00:34:19,000
Me, too.
664
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:20,430
Oh, so close.
665
00:34:20,430 --> 00:34:23,100
Oh, Fu...
666
00:34:23,100 --> 00:34:24,410
I'm gonna come.
667
00:34:24,410 --> 00:34:26,070
Oh, fuck.
668
00:34:32,250 --> 00:34:33,820
Oh, yeah.
669
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:42,560
That was just...
670
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,390
all kinds of wrong.
671
00:34:52,700 --> 00:34:56,070
Now I'll try to find someone
for you to watch me with.
672
00:35:06,450 --> 00:35:07,880
One Lilly.
673
00:35:18,190 --> 00:35:20,060
Shit.
674
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:26,100
I can not let him see
her looking like that.
675
00:35:30,270 --> 00:35:32,440
Penny, wait.
676
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:33,910
Penny.
677
00:35:35,510 --> 00:35:37,810
Ay, dios mio.
678
00:35:50,260 --> 00:35:51,990
Are you okay?
679
00:35:51,990 --> 00:35:53,830
I think so.
680
00:35:53,830 --> 00:35:57,360
Did you by any chance see me
before I fell in?
681
00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:59,130
I am afraid I did not, no.
682
00:35:59,130 --> 00:36:00,870
Shart.
683
00:36:00,870 --> 00:36:02,970
But I am sure
you looked beautiful.
684
00:36:07,110 --> 00:36:08,840
I'm so sorry, Penny.
685
00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:11,610
- I didn't mean to.
- I bet you didn't.
686
00:36:11,610 --> 00:36:14,450
These are yours--
Room number 4.
687
00:36:14,450 --> 00:36:15,920
And...
688
00:36:17,450 --> 00:36:19,020
Hormone pills?
689
00:36:21,290 --> 00:36:22,690
These are your pills?
690
00:36:26,330 --> 00:36:27,860
Yes, they're mine.
691
00:36:27,860 --> 00:36:29,830
So what?
I get cramps.
692
00:36:40,510 --> 00:36:43,110
Hey, lover.
693
00:36:43,110 --> 00:36:46,850
Hi.
694
00:36:46,850 --> 00:36:48,480
You know you cock-blocked me
695
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:51,490
and you weren't even
in the room.
696
00:36:51,490 --> 00:36:54,090
Sorry about that.
697
00:36:54,090 --> 00:36:57,130
Eh, it don't stay blocked
for long.
698
00:36:57,130 --> 00:36:59,860
Pesky thing.
699
00:36:59,860 --> 00:37:03,200
Hey, thanks for being
my pretend boyfriend.
700
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:04,870
I have to say this is
701
00:37:04,870 --> 00:37:10,810
one of the most perverted
things I've ever done.
702
00:37:10,810 --> 00:37:14,510
Did you really have a crush
on me in high school?
703
00:37:14,510 --> 00:37:19,110
Absolutely.
You were so adorable.
704
00:37:19,110 --> 00:37:22,720
Still are.
705
00:37:22,720 --> 00:37:26,550
So, why don't you have
a boyfriend?
706
00:37:26,550 --> 00:37:30,590
Maybe you haven't noticed,
but I'm kind of a slut.
707
00:37:30,590 --> 00:37:32,590
I've noticed.
708
00:37:32,590 --> 00:37:36,730
I'm just not the boyfriend type.
709
00:37:36,730 --> 00:37:39,030
I'm definitely
the boyfriend type.
710
00:37:39,030 --> 00:37:41,800
That's part of
what makes you so hot.
711
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:45,410
And why I haven't tried to go
to naked town with you.
712
00:37:45,410 --> 00:37:47,280
I respect you.
713
00:37:49,740 --> 00:37:53,180
That's really sweet, but...
714
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:59,650
I'd love to be
disrespected right now.
715
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:04,890
♪ Will we ever ♪
716
00:38:04,890 --> 00:38:07,800
♪ Will we ever get there?
717
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,630
♪ Waiting on the horizon ♪
718
00:38:10,630 --> 00:38:14,440
♪ For ships to come ♪
719
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:20,040
♪ There is something
to believe in again ♪
720
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:24,480
♪ Something's passing
through me ♪
721
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,250
♪ Like electricity ♪
722
00:38:27,250 --> 00:38:31,750
♪ Constantly waiting
till I see you again ♪
723
00:38:44,530 --> 00:38:47,070
♪ Running wild ♪
724
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:56,810
I'm so sorry, Penny.
725
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:03,380
What were you thinking?
726
00:39:03,380 --> 00:39:05,250
Honestly?
727
00:39:05,250 --> 00:39:07,190
I didn't mean to knock you
in the pool.
728
00:39:07,190 --> 00:39:12,960
I just didn't want Luis to see
you looking that good.
729
00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:14,560
So you did do it on purpose.
730
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:16,760
No, I just said I didn't.
731
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:19,330
You said you didn't want him to
see me looking that gorgeous.
732
00:39:19,330 --> 00:39:21,040
I didn't say gorgeous.
733
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:23,840
I can't believe I covered
for your stupid hormone pills.
734
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:27,140
That was really sweet of you.
735
00:39:27,140 --> 00:39:28,680
Mind if I have them back now?
736
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,180
Like I told Luis,
737
00:39:31,180 --> 00:39:32,710
they're mine.
738
00:39:39,350 --> 00:39:41,520
You know he named
that drink after me?
739
00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:43,060
It's called the Penny.
740
00:39:43,060 --> 00:39:46,830
♪ Will we ever,
will we ever get there? ♪
741
00:39:46,830 --> 00:39:50,430
♪ Waiting on the horizon ♪
742
00:39:50,430 --> 00:39:52,000
I should tell Zack what I saw,
743
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,500
but he will totally hate me.
744
00:39:54,500 --> 00:39:57,000
I'd wanna know if my boyfriend
was cheating on me.
745
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:58,740
Maybe they have
an open relationship.
746
00:39:58,740 --> 00:40:02,640
- Really? Zack?
- I know.
747
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:05,010
So are you and Peter
a thing now?
748
00:40:05,010 --> 00:40:09,620
No, it was just like,
friend sex,
749
00:40:09,620 --> 00:40:12,390
really amazing friend sex.
750
00:40:13,750 --> 00:40:16,390
- We're friends.
- Ew.
751
00:40:16,390 --> 00:40:20,360
Please, like I'd waste my cherry
on your little pink baby corn.
752
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:23,200
What happened
with the bartender?
753
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,670
Hello. Have you seen
the bandage on my head?
754
00:40:25,670 --> 00:40:28,400
Obviously there's
a terrible story behind it.
755
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:29,970
I wasn't sure
that was a bandage.
756
00:40:29,970 --> 00:40:32,410
I mean sometimes
you dress kinda weird.
757
00:40:37,410 --> 00:40:40,650
Damn, don't bruise me
before the underwear party.
758
00:40:40,650 --> 00:40:42,650
They're all underwear parties.
759
00:40:42,650 --> 00:40:45,890
Apparently, you can't have a wedding
without three nights of orgies.
760
00:40:45,890 --> 00:40:49,190
First comes love,
then comes marriage.
761
00:40:49,190 --> 00:40:51,890
But they never warn you about
the three ways in between.
762
00:40:51,890 --> 00:40:54,300
I don't wanna lose
Benji over this.
763
00:40:54,300 --> 00:40:56,400
- I normally love three-ways.
- Who doesn't?
764
00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:58,930
I just don't want one
in my relationship.
765
00:40:58,930 --> 00:41:00,500
Okay, that doesn't make
any sense.
766
00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:02,370
If you fantasize about it,
767
00:41:02,370 --> 00:41:04,710
why not share that
with your boyfriend?
768
00:41:04,710 --> 00:41:06,570
I guess I'm over-thinking it.
769
00:41:06,570 --> 00:41:09,340
I mean, last night
should have been totally hot.
770
00:41:09,340 --> 00:41:11,850
Just give yourself over.
771
00:41:11,850 --> 00:41:16,320
Over to what, studmuffin?
772
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:18,650
Absolute pleasure.
773
00:41:18,650 --> 00:41:23,590
Last night
was just an appetizer.
774
00:41:23,590 --> 00:41:25,130
Tonight...
775
00:41:28,830 --> 00:41:32,370
we're having a real three-way.
776
00:41:32,370 --> 00:41:33,800
I lurve you.
777
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,140
I lurve you, too.
778
00:41:52,590 --> 00:41:54,190
It's underwear night.
779
00:41:54,190 --> 00:41:55,490
Why aren't you in your panties?
780
00:41:55,490 --> 00:41:57,260
I miss wearing clothes.
781
00:41:57,260 --> 00:42:00,090
Well, I have plans for tonight,
782
00:42:00,090 --> 00:42:03,160
so the room is free
for whatever you need to do,
783
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:06,670
say bring a certain someone
back to it and get it on?
784
00:42:06,670 --> 00:42:07,970
Don't bother.
785
00:42:07,970 --> 00:42:09,770
I don't plan on using it.
786
00:42:09,770 --> 00:42:12,010
Then the room
will sit there empty.
787
00:42:12,010 --> 00:42:13,270
Fine by me.
788
00:42:13,270 --> 00:42:14,910
Come on, Casey.
789
00:42:14,910 --> 00:42:16,510
This is your life.
790
00:42:16,510 --> 00:42:18,050
Get out there and live it.
791
00:42:18,050 --> 00:42:21,450
You make everything sound
like a Tweet from Oprah.
792
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:26,850
I forgot
how much I love ordering in.
793
00:42:26,850 --> 00:42:28,220
Oh, what about this guy?
794
00:42:28,220 --> 00:42:30,560
Versatile top loves group play.
795
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:34,530
Ooh, 5'1"? Sixty-nining
short guys cramps my neck.
796
00:42:34,530 --> 00:42:36,100
We don't have to do this
if you don't--
797
00:42:36,100 --> 00:42:38,070
Whoa, what about him?
798
00:42:38,070 --> 00:42:40,630
Hmm, not my type.
799
00:42:40,630 --> 00:42:42,000
How 'bout that guy?
800
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:43,340
No, thanks.
801
00:42:43,340 --> 00:42:45,240
He looks 12.
He looks a hundred.
802
00:42:45,240 --> 00:42:48,180
He looks like Rachel Maddow.
803
00:42:48,180 --> 00:42:50,410
Whoa.
804
00:42:50,410 --> 00:42:51,580
Super hot.
805
00:42:51,580 --> 00:42:54,210
It says he's only looking
for friendship.
806
00:42:54,210 --> 00:42:56,150
Let's see if he wants
to be our friend.
807
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:12,500
If I were
a stupid, heartless bitch,
808
00:43:12,500 --> 00:43:14,600
where would I hide
someone's meds?
809
00:43:26,380 --> 00:43:27,550
Casey.
810
00:43:34,290 --> 00:43:35,420
Figures.
811
00:43:36,690 --> 00:43:38,090
Where are they?
812
00:43:41,930 --> 00:43:44,630
Ugh. Harry Potter vibrator?
813
00:43:46,500 --> 00:43:50,300
♪ I'm on
a man hunt, man hunt ♪
814
00:43:50,300 --> 00:43:52,410
♪ I'm not looking
for the one ♪
815
00:43:52,410 --> 00:43:54,980
♪ I'm on
a man hunt, man hunt ♪
816
00:43:54,980 --> 00:43:58,450
I didn't think finding a three-way
would be so complicated.
817
00:43:58,450 --> 00:44:00,510
Well, when you're matching
three checklists
818
00:44:00,510 --> 00:44:03,150
against each other,
it gets pretty elaborate.
819
00:44:03,150 --> 00:44:05,390
It's a good thing
I studied calculus.
820
00:44:13,090 --> 00:44:17,100
Hey, let's split up
and meet back up in 30.
821
00:44:17,100 --> 00:44:18,670
See what we can rustle up
on our own?
822
00:44:19,930 --> 00:44:21,570
Okay.
823
00:44:23,500 --> 00:44:26,270
♪ Then I wonder
if sometimes ♪
824
00:44:26,270 --> 00:44:29,080
♪ I just want to be alone ♪
825
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:31,280
♪ I'm on
a man hunt, man hunt ♪
826
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:35,180
♪ I just want a night of fun ♪
827
00:44:35,180 --> 00:44:38,650
♪ I'm on
a man hunt, man hunt... ♪
828
00:44:38,650 --> 00:44:41,060
♪ I'm not looking
for the one... ♪
829
00:44:46,290 --> 00:44:49,330
Look, I'm just gonna be
straight-up honest
830
00:44:49,330 --> 00:44:52,700
because, what the hell,
I'm never gonna see you again.
831
00:44:52,700 --> 00:44:56,400
I sensed some kind of
flirtation going on between us,
832
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:59,640
and, well, I'm a virgin,
833
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:01,210
and I really don't want
to be anymore,
834
00:45:01,210 --> 00:45:02,810
so if you're not busy,
835
00:45:02,810 --> 00:45:04,580
can we fuck?
836
00:45:04,580 --> 00:45:06,580
With condoms?
837
00:45:06,580 --> 00:45:07,950
Your honesty is,
838
00:45:07,950 --> 00:45:09,720
uh, sexy,
839
00:45:09,720 --> 00:45:11,890
but can I be honest as well?
840
00:45:11,890 --> 00:45:13,020
You're gay.
841
00:45:13,020 --> 00:45:14,050
No.
842
00:45:14,050 --> 00:45:16,020
I just.
843
00:45:16,020 --> 00:45:17,860
I know what those pills were.
844
00:45:17,860 --> 00:45:21,260
I like women, real women.
845
00:45:21,260 --> 00:45:22,960
But those were...
846
00:45:24,130 --> 00:45:25,570
If you honestly think
847
00:45:25,570 --> 00:45:28,670
that those pills make me
any less of a woman,
848
00:45:28,670 --> 00:45:32,070
then you're not nearly
enough man for me.
849
00:45:32,070 --> 00:45:33,640
Wait, I-- You--
850
00:45:35,610 --> 00:45:37,680
Pedomierda.
851
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:42,620
Hey, Peter.
852
00:45:42,620 --> 00:45:45,650
Yeah, the bar
is three blocks down
853
00:45:45,650 --> 00:45:47,120
and two blocks west.
854
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:52,790
- See ya.
- Yeah I'm a person, too, you know.
855
00:45:52,790 --> 00:45:54,660
Who was that?
856
00:45:54,660 --> 00:45:56,160
Who was who?
857
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:58,070
That guy
you were just hitting on.
858
00:46:01,100 --> 00:46:02,670
Ugh, I don't even wanna know.
859
00:46:04,070 --> 00:46:05,510
Damn it.
860
00:46:13,110 --> 00:46:15,250
Face it, Penny,
you'll die a virgin.
861
00:46:29,030 --> 00:46:32,670
Time for some Quidditch.
862
00:46:35,900 --> 00:46:37,470
Ooh!
863
00:46:43,980 --> 00:46:45,810
Where's your boyfriend?
864
00:46:45,810 --> 00:46:47,210
Um...
865
00:46:48,820 --> 00:46:50,880
where is yours?
866
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:53,750
Oh, um, he's picking out...
867
00:46:53,750 --> 00:46:55,620
underwear.
868
00:46:55,620 --> 00:46:57,890
Oh.
869
00:46:57,890 --> 00:46:59,290
Hey, um.
870
00:46:59,290 --> 00:47:01,860
Can we go somewhere and talk?
871
00:47:01,860 --> 00:47:02,860
Yeah, sure.
872
00:47:02,860 --> 00:47:06,300
Okay, um, how about my room?
873
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:10,900
I wasn't hitting on that guy.
874
00:47:10,900 --> 00:47:12,170
Come on.
875
00:47:12,170 --> 00:47:13,310
It was more obvious
than the dent
876
00:47:13,310 --> 00:47:16,510
in Anderson Cooper's forehead.
877
00:47:16,510 --> 00:47:20,350
Something's weird about
your relationship with Casey.
878
00:47:20,350 --> 00:47:22,120
Excuse me, Chelsea Lately,
879
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:25,720
but you and Zack seem to be
having problems of your own.
880
00:47:25,720 --> 00:47:27,120
Why do you say that?
881
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:31,430
Well, for one, look at us.
882
00:47:31,430 --> 00:47:33,360
Oh.
883
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:39,930
Go for the golden snitch.
884
00:47:39,930 --> 00:47:41,300
Oh.
885
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:45,410
Oh.
886
00:47:48,780 --> 00:47:50,580
Shart, shart, shart.
887
00:47:50,580 --> 00:47:53,750
I might get to see some gay sex.
888
00:48:04,060 --> 00:48:05,530
Um, what's that?
889
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:09,400
Penny.
890
00:48:13,630 --> 00:48:16,340
Ugh. It smells
like lima beans.
891
00:48:21,240 --> 00:48:26,750
So there's nothing unusual
happening with you and Casey?
892
00:48:26,750 --> 00:48:29,580
And there's nothing unusual
with you and Zack?
893
00:48:29,580 --> 00:48:31,750
You first.
894
00:48:31,750 --> 00:48:34,420
Let's go get Zack,
then find Casey,
895
00:48:34,420 --> 00:48:36,820
then figure out what's going on.
896
00:48:36,820 --> 00:48:38,160
Fine.
897
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:39,860
But real quick.
898
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:45,670
Much better.
899
00:48:45,670 --> 00:48:48,140
Yup.
900
00:48:48,140 --> 00:48:53,410
So I have to tell you something.
901
00:48:53,410 --> 00:48:55,610
I saw something last night.
902
00:48:55,610 --> 00:48:57,340
So did I.
903
00:48:57,340 --> 00:48:58,910
Why do you think
we didn't work out?
904
00:48:58,910 --> 00:49:01,780
I-- I don't know.
905
00:49:01,780 --> 00:49:03,050
Um...
906
00:49:03,050 --> 00:49:05,720
gay guys can't have
long term relationships?
907
00:49:05,720 --> 00:49:07,990
You know that's not true.
908
00:49:07,990 --> 00:49:11,730
I guess maybe because we never
tried to spice things up?
909
00:49:11,730 --> 00:49:13,590
What? You wanted
an open relationship?
910
00:49:13,590 --> 00:49:14,860
No.
911
00:49:14,860 --> 00:49:17,160
I know we're gay,
912
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:19,400
and we're supposed to be able to make
up whatever kind of family we want,
913
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:22,800
but for me my family--
914
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:25,770
It's just gonna be one special
person standing beside me...
915
00:49:27,610 --> 00:49:30,410
someone to grow old with,
916
00:49:30,410 --> 00:49:32,750
even during the boring times.
917
00:49:34,250 --> 00:49:36,320
I miss the boring times.
918
00:49:40,650 --> 00:49:42,290
Shit, wrong room.
919
00:49:42,290 --> 00:49:43,690
Hello.
920
00:49:43,690 --> 00:49:45,020
What's going on, guys?
921
00:49:45,020 --> 00:49:46,690
Nothing.
922
00:49:46,690 --> 00:49:49,830
I don't know. It looks
awfully horny in here.
923
00:49:49,830 --> 00:49:52,230
Well, what are you two
doing together?
924
00:49:52,230 --> 00:49:54,670
Looking for you guys.
925
00:49:54,670 --> 00:49:56,140
What were you talking about?
926
00:49:56,140 --> 00:49:59,270
How to keep the spark alive.
927
00:49:59,270 --> 00:50:00,370
Yeah?
928
00:50:00,370 --> 00:50:02,010
How do you guys do that?
929
00:50:03,610 --> 00:50:05,780
Benji was doubting our sparks.
930
00:50:09,580 --> 00:50:14,120
Well, we've got sparks,
right, Zack?
931
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:17,490
I can feel some sparks
right about now, in fact.
932
00:50:17,490 --> 00:50:22,560
Um, we should get ready
for the party.
933
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:24,400
I'll go first.
934
00:50:26,530 --> 00:50:29,700
Well, I don't need to change
in the bathroom
935
00:50:29,700 --> 00:50:32,410
if you guys don't mind.
936
00:50:32,410 --> 00:50:33,770
Yeah, go ahead.
937
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:38,410
- Damn.
- Damn.
938
00:50:38,410 --> 00:50:39,880
Damn.
939
00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:42,350
My underwear
are back in my room.
940
00:50:42,350 --> 00:50:43,750
Hey, honey,
941
00:50:43,750 --> 00:50:46,350
you got some underwear
I can borrow?
942
00:50:46,350 --> 00:50:49,660
Yeah, check in my suitcase.
943
00:50:57,530 --> 00:51:01,000
You look great
in those trunks, Zack.
944
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:02,400
Maybe I can try them on?
945
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:05,370
Y-You wanna try mine on?
946
00:51:05,370 --> 00:51:08,840
Please?
947
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:10,610
He said please.
948
00:51:25,460 --> 00:51:26,830
How do they look?
949
00:51:26,830 --> 00:51:29,700
- They look good.
- Real good.
950
00:51:29,700 --> 00:51:32,130
Except something's poking
out of 'em.
951
00:51:32,130 --> 00:51:34,070
Oh, yeah.
952
00:51:34,070 --> 00:51:35,170
I see that.
953
00:51:35,170 --> 00:51:36,840
It'd be hard to miss.
954
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:39,140
Um, hi.
955
00:51:39,140 --> 00:51:41,540
Come here, boyfriend.
956
00:51:41,540 --> 00:51:44,550
Zack and I were...
957
00:51:44,550 --> 00:51:46,410
Have never had break-up sex.
958
00:52:20,950 --> 00:52:22,580
Ow.
959
00:53:15,370 --> 00:53:17,040
That's hot.
960
00:53:27,210 --> 00:53:29,050
Is this what you wanted?
961
00:53:30,980 --> 00:53:32,690
Or this?
962
00:54:36,480 --> 00:54:38,520
What's that?
963
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:40,550
Air conditioning?
964
00:54:40,550 --> 00:54:42,120
Works for me.
965
00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:43,690
Stay here.
966
00:54:54,330 --> 00:54:55,640
Where's the condoms?
967
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:57,270
Over here.
968
00:55:06,550 --> 00:55:08,220
Shh.
969
00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:13,690
Get back up here, Casey.
970
00:55:13,690 --> 00:55:16,020
Oh. Yes, sir.
971
00:55:17,290 --> 00:55:19,360
So, who's doing who?
972
00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:21,330
Whom.
973
00:55:21,330 --> 00:55:23,360
Yeah, Zack.
974
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:24,630
Who's doing who?
975
00:55:24,630 --> 00:55:26,270
Whom.
976
00:55:29,240 --> 00:55:30,640
Well...
977
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:33,970
I think I wanna do...
978
00:55:35,680 --> 00:55:37,640
I've had it.
979
00:55:40,380 --> 00:55:42,650
What grabbed me.
980
00:55:42,650 --> 00:55:45,690
There's a monster under the bed!
981
00:55:50,190 --> 00:55:51,590
What the hell?
982
00:55:51,590 --> 00:55:54,860
- What's going on?
- Hi.
983
00:55:54,860 --> 00:55:55,860
And what were you doing
under there?
984
00:55:55,860 --> 00:55:57,600
I was just masturbating.
985
00:55:57,600 --> 00:55:59,500
I don't know what she was doing.
986
00:55:59,500 --> 00:56:02,200
I was looking for my
medication this bitch stole.
987
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:04,370
Then you guys came in and started
playing Human Centipede.
988
00:56:04,370 --> 00:56:05,940
This is too messy for me.
989
00:56:05,940 --> 00:56:08,510
You're part of this mess.
990
00:56:08,510 --> 00:56:12,180
No, he's not.
991
00:56:12,180 --> 00:56:13,650
Zack...
992
00:56:13,650 --> 00:56:17,380
Peter and I aren't boyfriends.
993
00:56:17,380 --> 00:56:19,650
We never were.
994
00:56:19,650 --> 00:56:21,320
What?
995
00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:23,390
I didn't want you
to feel sorry for me,
996
00:56:23,390 --> 00:56:25,390
that you had
a boyfriend and I didn't,
997
00:56:25,390 --> 00:56:29,600
so I asked Peter to pretend
that we were dating.
998
00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:30,860
I knew it.
999
00:56:30,860 --> 00:56:33,470
Well, not that,
but I knew something.
1000
00:56:33,470 --> 00:56:36,400
- I'm sorry.
- I should've known.
1001
00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:40,140
Everything you do involves
a giant conspiracy.
1002
00:56:40,140 --> 00:56:41,440
You should've just have been
honest with him.
1003
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:44,940
That's priceless
coming from you, Benji.
1004
00:56:44,940 --> 00:56:47,180
I saw him bring a guy back
into your room last night.
1005
00:56:47,180 --> 00:56:48,920
That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.
1006
00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:51,950
- I can bring back whoever I want.
- Whomever.
1007
00:56:51,950 --> 00:56:54,860
'Cause Zack and I are
in an open relationship.
1008
00:56:54,860 --> 00:56:58,460
An open...?
1009
00:56:58,460 --> 00:57:00,630
I-- I didn't know.
1010
00:57:00,630 --> 00:57:02,830
Benji wanted us
to give it a try.
1011
00:57:02,830 --> 00:57:05,700
But why didn't...?
1012
00:57:05,700 --> 00:57:07,000
Wait a minute.
1013
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:09,340
You're giving me
a hard time for lying,
1014
00:57:09,340 --> 00:57:12,510
when you've been lying about your
perfect relationship all along?
1015
00:57:12,510 --> 00:57:14,340
Fuck you.
1016
00:57:14,340 --> 00:57:17,740
Well, we're better
than you and I ever were.
1017
00:57:17,740 --> 00:57:19,380
Benji, c'mon.
1018
00:57:27,090 --> 00:57:29,060
These are the gays of our lives.
1019
00:57:31,060 --> 00:57:33,730
I cannot believe him.
When is he gonna grow up?
1020
00:57:33,730 --> 00:57:36,630
And you, what was that?
1021
00:57:36,630 --> 00:57:38,970
I'm sorry.
1022
00:57:38,970 --> 00:57:41,370
Maybe I can make it up to you?
1023
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:47,570
Yeah, it's mostly political,
1024
00:57:47,570 --> 00:57:49,080
but I wanna make a statement...
1025
00:57:50,180 --> 00:57:52,050
with you.
1026
00:57:52,050 --> 00:57:55,180
We're not perfect,
but what couple is?
1027
00:58:03,220 --> 00:58:04,730
Marry me.
1028
00:58:05,630 --> 00:58:06,790
Tomorrow...
1029
00:58:06,790 --> 00:58:08,900
while it's legal.
1030
00:58:11,530 --> 00:58:13,700
Marry me.
1031
00:58:13,700 --> 00:58:15,040
Are you serious?
1032
00:58:20,110 --> 00:58:24,540
Fine.
1033
00:58:24,540 --> 00:58:26,150
That's so romantic.
1034
00:58:28,210 --> 00:58:32,120
♪ So what am I so afraid of ♪
1035
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:35,090
♪ If it's just you? ♪
1036
00:58:35,090 --> 00:58:37,490
♪ But, baby,
you're hot and cold ♪
1037
00:58:37,490 --> 00:58:39,330
♪ And maybe
you'll never know ♪
1038
00:58:39,330 --> 00:58:43,960
♪ Just what you want me to ♪
1039
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:47,500
♪ Everything
I need you to say ♪
1040
00:58:47,500 --> 00:58:51,400
♪ Didn't talk
'cause I was so afraid ♪
1041
00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:54,940
♪ Everything
I need you to hear ♪
1042
00:58:54,940 --> 00:58:58,780
♪ Didn't talk
'cause I'm my latest fear ♪
1043
00:59:02,380 --> 00:59:03,880
Hey.
1044
00:59:05,220 --> 00:59:06,520
Hop in.
1045
00:59:06,520 --> 00:59:09,090
Everything's better
after a Jacuzzi.
1046
00:59:21,100 --> 00:59:22,540
How're you feeling?
1047
00:59:24,370 --> 00:59:26,970
Like I just sat through the
first three Twilight movies.
1048
00:59:26,970 --> 00:59:28,440
That bad, huh?
1049
00:59:30,440 --> 00:59:33,350
Hey, I'm sorry about getting
you mixed up in all this.
1050
00:59:33,350 --> 00:59:35,320
It's okay.
1051
00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:38,020
This definitely makes
my top-ten kinky list.
1052
00:59:40,250 --> 00:59:42,920
And it was fun hanging out
with you.
1053
00:59:42,920 --> 00:59:45,160
And you know what?
You are a great kisser.
1054
00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:48,260
And you are packin'
the goods down there.
1055
00:59:48,260 --> 00:59:49,400
Thanks.
1056
00:59:52,930 --> 00:59:55,400
Zack's right, you know.
1057
00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:59,140
Every time I want to get
close to him, I just lie.
1058
00:59:59,140 --> 01:00:00,740
What is wrong with me?
1059
01:00:00,740 --> 01:00:04,010
Deep-seated insecurity.
1060
01:00:04,010 --> 01:00:06,880
Well how can I not have that
when I don't look like you?
1061
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:11,280
Oh stop using the you're-better-looking-than-me
as a crutch, Casey.
1062
01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:13,050
We've all got shit
we're insecure about.
1063
01:00:13,050 --> 01:00:16,120
And what are you insecure about?
1064
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:17,790
- Hmm...
- See?
1065
01:00:17,790 --> 01:00:21,130
I'm playin'.
Of course I'm insecure.
1066
01:00:21,130 --> 01:00:23,630
I'm insecure
that I spend so much time
1067
01:00:23,630 --> 01:00:25,100
trying to get laid
1068
01:00:25,100 --> 01:00:28,200
that I'll pass up
on a good opportunity
1069
01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:30,970
when something
meaningful comes my way.
1070
01:00:30,970 --> 01:00:36,040
I'm insecure that I can't
commit to a relationship ever.
1071
01:00:36,040 --> 01:00:37,440
And when I finally do,
1072
01:00:37,440 --> 01:00:40,880
once the sex with me
gets boring,
1073
01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:43,480
I won't have enough to offer.
1074
01:00:43,480 --> 01:00:46,520
And I'm insecure that my arms
aren't big enough.
1075
01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:47,550
My legs are too skinny.
1076
01:00:47,550 --> 01:00:51,160
- My hair is thin--
- Okay, shut up.
1077
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:53,230
When we get back to the city,
we should hang out,
1078
01:00:53,230 --> 01:00:55,760
I want to go to bars,
meet some guys
1079
01:00:55,760 --> 01:01:01,230
now that I'm finally accepting
that Zack and I are over.
1080
01:01:01,230 --> 01:01:02,940
Yeah, I heard
about their wedding.
1081
01:01:02,940 --> 01:01:04,540
What?
1082
01:01:15,720 --> 01:01:17,350
You feel any better yet?
1083
01:01:17,350 --> 01:01:19,950
I feel like Mel Gibson
at the Museum of Tolerance.
1084
01:01:19,950 --> 01:01:22,390
Let's keep trying.
1085
01:01:22,390 --> 01:01:24,420
Here's what's really jacked.
1086
01:01:24,420 --> 01:01:25,760
I miss him.
1087
01:01:25,760 --> 01:01:27,530
The bean pole?
1088
01:01:27,530 --> 01:01:30,160
Yeah. That's why I wanted
to be friends with him.
1089
01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:33,330
On paper we're totally wrong
for each other.
1090
01:01:33,330 --> 01:01:35,900
He's all dorky
and self conscious.
1091
01:01:35,900 --> 01:01:38,610
He likes Gaga more than Madonna,
1092
01:01:38,610 --> 01:01:42,880
and he actually laughs
at clowns.
1093
01:01:42,880 --> 01:01:44,640
But...
1094
01:01:44,640 --> 01:01:49,080
But his goofy smile
just slays me every time.
1095
01:01:49,080 --> 01:01:51,120
He loves old movies.
1096
01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:54,350
We always order
the same thing on the menu.
1097
01:01:54,350 --> 01:01:57,060
And he always means well,
even when he's lying.
1098
01:01:57,060 --> 01:01:58,420
And from what I saw,
1099
01:01:58,420 --> 01:02:01,530
he's hung like
The Incredible Hulk.
1100
01:02:01,530 --> 01:02:04,560
Yeah, skinny guys
never fail to surprise.
1101
01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:06,430
And he's not
into open relationships.
1102
01:02:11,670 --> 01:02:12,740
I don't know.
1103
01:02:12,740 --> 01:02:14,840
Ask yourself something.
1104
01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:18,040
Why are talking about Casey
1105
01:02:18,040 --> 01:02:20,980
when you're about marry Benji?
1106
01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:28,350
- You look so good.
- You look so good.
1107
01:02:28,350 --> 01:02:30,860
Oh, it's our flower girl.
1108
01:02:30,860 --> 01:02:32,230
You can be my something blue.
1109
01:02:32,230 --> 01:02:33,990
Very funny.
1110
01:02:33,990 --> 01:02:35,630
Darlin', what's wrong?
1111
01:02:35,630 --> 01:02:38,670
Did Kathy Griffin
get another face-lift?
1112
01:02:38,670 --> 01:02:39,870
Zack's getting married.
1113
01:02:39,870 --> 01:02:41,170
Our Zack?
1114
01:02:41,170 --> 01:02:42,740
And he's in
an open relationship.
1115
01:02:42,740 --> 01:02:44,800
Oh, I hate his guts.
1116
01:02:44,800 --> 01:02:48,170
Oh, come now, there's too much
hate in the world already.
1117
01:02:48,170 --> 01:02:49,940
- You don't hate Zack.
- I know.
1118
01:02:49,940 --> 01:02:52,750
Maybe this is life giving you
one of those teachable moments
1119
01:02:52,750 --> 01:02:54,380
they're always talking about
on CNN.
1120
01:02:54,380 --> 01:02:57,250
Maybe you can put
a little more love
1121
01:02:57,250 --> 01:02:59,250
back in the world
by supporting Zack.
1122
01:02:59,250 --> 01:03:00,750
Are you kidding me?
1123
01:03:00,750 --> 01:03:02,260
I don't wanna see him get
married
1124
01:03:02,260 --> 01:03:03,520
to some guy who's not me.
1125
01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:05,090
But this isn't about you.
1126
01:03:05,090 --> 01:03:07,330
This is about someone you love.
1127
01:03:07,330 --> 01:03:09,260
And even though Zack
might not know it,
1128
01:03:09,260 --> 01:03:10,360
he needs your friendship.
1129
01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:12,330
Are you gonna be there for him?
1130
01:03:25,650 --> 01:03:27,280
Truce?
1131
01:03:27,280 --> 01:03:28,680
How did you know
I was behind you?
1132
01:03:28,680 --> 01:03:31,150
Transsexual sense.
We all have it.
1133
01:03:31,150 --> 01:03:32,490
You do?
1134
01:03:32,490 --> 01:03:34,020
Yeah, TSP.
1135
01:03:34,020 --> 01:03:36,490
So truce?
1136
01:03:36,490 --> 01:03:38,690
Truce.
1137
01:03:38,690 --> 01:03:41,960
What's the catch?
1138
01:03:41,960 --> 01:03:44,630
I think our fight
is actually pretty stupid.
1139
01:03:46,900 --> 01:03:48,330
It's just that since Jason,
1140
01:03:48,330 --> 01:03:49,970
I act like I'm confident
1141
01:03:49,970 --> 01:03:52,840
and I can find another
boyfriend whenever I want,
1142
01:03:52,840 --> 01:03:54,570
but...
1143
01:03:54,570 --> 01:03:57,410
- I'm scared.
- You and me both.
1144
01:03:57,410 --> 01:03:58,910
Oh, come on.
You have a natural born vagina.
1145
01:03:58,910 --> 01:04:00,750
Just lay it out on plate,
and men come crawling.
1146
01:04:00,750 --> 01:04:03,080
But my personality
scares them off.
1147
01:04:03,080 --> 01:04:05,420
I wish I was more like you.
1148
01:04:05,420 --> 01:04:08,590
I can't believe a cis woman
just said that to me.
1149
01:04:08,590 --> 01:04:10,660
A what?
1150
01:04:10,660 --> 01:04:11,960
A non-transsexual.
1151
01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:13,090
Oh..
1152
01:04:13,090 --> 01:04:15,630
Buenos Dias, ladies.
1153
01:04:15,630 --> 01:04:17,030
He's all yours.
1154
01:04:17,030 --> 01:04:19,900
Oh, I'm mad at him.
1155
01:04:19,900 --> 01:04:21,840
It is hot today, isn't it?
1156
01:04:25,100 --> 01:04:28,340
God, it's hard to stay mad
at him.
1157
01:04:28,340 --> 01:04:29,980
Is he flirting with you or me?
1158
01:04:29,980 --> 01:04:31,780
He's playing with both of us.
1159
01:04:31,780 --> 01:04:33,950
I guess teasing gay boys
isn't enough.
1160
01:04:33,950 --> 01:04:37,080
He has to get us women
to fight each other, too.
1161
01:04:37,080 --> 01:04:39,950
Let's go put that sexy
bastard in his place.
1162
01:04:39,950 --> 01:04:43,720
- You've got balls.
- That's not funny.
1163
01:04:43,720 --> 01:04:44,990
Oh, God.
1164
01:04:44,990 --> 01:04:47,290
I'm sorry.
I meant in the same way I do.
1165
01:04:47,290 --> 01:04:50,160
Just fucking with you.
I know what you meant.
1166
01:04:55,630 --> 01:04:57,840
And do you,
Rick, promise to love Steve
1167
01:04:57,840 --> 01:04:59,140
for as both as you
long shall live?
1168
01:04:59,140 --> 01:05:01,510
- Well, duh.
- Great.
1169
01:05:09,780 --> 01:05:11,350
Congratulations.
1170
01:05:11,350 --> 01:05:13,120
So you heard.
1171
01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:14,790
Yeah.
1172
01:05:20,260 --> 01:05:22,660
I'm sorry that I lied to you.
1173
01:05:24,260 --> 01:05:26,300
I'm sorry, too.
1174
01:05:28,270 --> 01:05:32,840
Are you excited
for your wedding?
1175
01:05:32,840 --> 01:05:34,370
I don't know.
1176
01:05:34,370 --> 01:05:39,350
We're just getting married
to make a political statement.
1177
01:05:39,350 --> 01:05:42,110
I always pictured
a big beautiful wedding.
1178
01:05:42,110 --> 01:05:43,980
What, you in white?
1179
01:05:43,980 --> 01:05:46,190
Sunflowers everywhere.
1180
01:05:46,190 --> 01:05:47,490
A choir singing Ray of Light.
1181
01:05:47,490 --> 01:05:49,190
We'd write our own vows.
1182
01:05:49,190 --> 01:05:51,320
Aw, and they'd make us
cry when we read 'em.
1183
01:05:51,320 --> 01:05:53,630
And when the minister pronounced
us husband and husband...
1184
01:05:53,630 --> 01:05:56,430
We'd do a choreographed dance
to "Umbrella."
1185
01:05:56,430 --> 01:05:59,730
With umbrellas.
1186
01:05:59,730 --> 01:06:04,770
I-- I didn't mean we.
I meant you.
1187
01:06:09,180 --> 01:06:12,250
Do you do you need a best man?
1188
01:06:14,480 --> 01:06:16,520
What? Are you serious?
1189
01:06:16,520 --> 01:06:19,690
I know I haven't always
been the best man,
1190
01:06:19,690 --> 01:06:21,520
but...
1191
01:06:21,520 --> 01:06:25,730
I came here to tell you
that I want you in my life,
1192
01:06:25,730 --> 01:06:29,000
even if it is just
as your best man.
1193
01:06:35,030 --> 01:06:37,600
I get why you did it.
1194
01:06:37,600 --> 01:06:40,540
You wanted the best for me.
1195
01:06:40,540 --> 01:06:41,910
It's what best men do.
1196
01:06:44,610 --> 01:06:49,450
So does that mean I can do it?
1197
01:06:49,450 --> 01:06:51,480
But this isn't my real wedding.
1198
01:06:51,480 --> 01:06:54,320
Casey?
It's time.
1199
01:06:58,490 --> 01:06:59,590
This is his room.
1200
01:06:59,590 --> 01:07:00,730
So what's the plan?
1201
01:07:00,730 --> 01:07:02,260
I thought you had a plan?
1202
01:07:02,260 --> 01:07:03,600
That's because you're stupid.
1203
01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:05,700
Wait. What if he's
with someone?
1204
01:07:05,700 --> 01:07:08,430
You're right.
We should break in.
1205
01:07:11,470 --> 01:07:13,910
- What are you doing?
- Shh.
1206
01:07:19,080 --> 01:07:20,850
Come on, Luis.
1207
01:07:20,850 --> 01:07:22,720
Are you scared to face up
to the consequences
1208
01:07:22,720 --> 01:07:24,550
of the way you treat women?
1209
01:07:26,050 --> 01:07:28,420
I spy with my little eye
1210
01:07:28,420 --> 01:07:30,420
something that begins
with pussy.
1211
01:07:30,420 --> 01:07:33,090
I not scared.
1212
01:07:33,090 --> 01:07:34,260
I am naked.
1213
01:07:34,260 --> 01:07:37,900
Oh, my.
You are.
1214
01:07:37,900 --> 01:07:40,900
He's butt naked and circumcised.
1215
01:07:40,900 --> 01:07:42,330
Congratulations.
You can read.
1216
01:07:42,330 --> 01:07:44,200
What are you doing here?
1217
01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:45,870
You've been playing us against
each other this whole weekend.
1218
01:07:45,870 --> 01:07:47,440
Leading us on.
1219
01:07:47,440 --> 01:07:49,240
Naming the same drink
after both of us.
1220
01:07:49,240 --> 01:07:50,440
Ogling our bosoms.
1221
01:07:50,440 --> 01:07:52,280
What's the matter with you?
1222
01:07:52,280 --> 01:07:53,610
I sorry.
1223
01:07:53,610 --> 01:07:56,250
I just like the attention,
1224
01:07:56,250 --> 01:07:57,920
but I'm harmless.
1225
01:07:57,920 --> 01:07:59,990
You see,
no women will ever have me
1226
01:07:59,990 --> 01:08:02,020
because of my...
1227
01:08:02,020 --> 01:08:03,190
problem.
1228
01:08:03,190 --> 01:08:04,960
What problem?
1229
01:08:04,960 --> 01:08:07,230
Oh, Penny, I should not have
been so quick to judge you.
1230
01:08:07,230 --> 01:08:08,960
You are right.
1231
01:08:08,960 --> 01:08:13,130
It is not your anatomy that
makes you a beautiful woman.
1232
01:08:13,130 --> 01:08:14,330
So what, you're trans now?
1233
01:08:14,330 --> 01:08:15,930
I was trying to do
the right thing.
1234
01:08:15,930 --> 01:08:18,770
- Those were not your pills?
- No, they're mine,
1235
01:08:18,770 --> 01:08:20,540
and how is stealing
my identity the right thing?
1236
01:08:20,540 --> 01:08:21,870
Well, I guess you
had to be there.
1237
01:08:21,870 --> 01:08:23,840
It doesn't matter who is what.
1238
01:08:23,840 --> 01:08:26,550
You are both beautiful women.
1239
01:08:26,550 --> 01:08:29,220
And like so many beautiful
and cruel women before,
1240
01:08:29,220 --> 01:08:34,190
neither of you will have me
once you have seen my problem.
1241
01:08:34,190 --> 01:08:36,490
What's you're goddamned
problem already?
1242
01:08:39,290 --> 01:08:41,130
I was born with a tail.
1243
01:08:41,130 --> 01:08:42,930
Born with a what?
1244
01:08:48,030 --> 01:08:49,570
Whoa.
1245
01:08:49,570 --> 01:08:52,970
My mother, she thought
it was a sign from God,
1246
01:08:52,970 --> 01:08:55,540
so she made the doctors keep it,
1247
01:08:55,540 --> 01:08:56,910
and now that I am grown,
1248
01:08:56,910 --> 01:08:59,750
it is too dangerous
for them to take it out.
1249
01:08:59,750 --> 01:09:01,550
Because of this tail,
1250
01:09:01,550 --> 01:09:04,220
women scream
1251
01:09:04,220 --> 01:09:05,450
and I never make love.
1252
01:09:05,450 --> 01:09:08,120
I just flirt.
1253
01:09:11,690 --> 01:09:13,930
I kind of know exactly
where you're coming from.
1254
01:09:15,290 --> 01:09:17,930
So now what?
1255
01:09:24,170 --> 01:09:25,840
To be honest,
1256
01:09:25,840 --> 01:09:29,810
I'm having some really trashy
thoughts right now.
1257
01:09:29,810 --> 01:09:31,440
Me, too.
1258
01:09:33,010 --> 01:09:35,250
What is happening?
1259
01:09:35,250 --> 01:09:37,880
I don't think they have
a name for this in Spanish.
1260
01:09:55,870 --> 01:09:59,140
- No way.
- Not happening.
1261
01:09:59,140 --> 01:10:03,010
Let's just keep you
in the middle.
1262
01:10:03,010 --> 01:10:05,080
Maravillosa.
1263
01:10:05,080 --> 01:10:09,750
Quick question--
Can that thing get hard?
1264
01:10:09,750 --> 01:10:15,590
Jerry, you're the Aladdin
to my Jasmine,
1265
01:10:15,590 --> 01:10:17,390
the Weasley to my Hermione,
1266
01:10:17,390 --> 01:10:21,060
and the Brad to my Angelina
if they're still together.
1267
01:10:21,060 --> 01:10:26,170
Oh, Bernard,
I once loved someone and set him free.
1268
01:10:26,170 --> 01:10:29,170
He slept with a meth head
and ran off with a hairdresser.
1269
01:10:29,170 --> 01:10:30,770
Of course he did.
1270
01:10:30,770 --> 01:10:35,580
So now I'm gonna tie you down
while I can, okay?
1271
01:10:38,340 --> 01:10:39,680
You two are next.
1272
01:10:39,680 --> 01:10:40,910
We've assigned witnesses
1273
01:10:40,910 --> 01:10:42,680
unless you have
friends or family here.
1274
01:10:42,680 --> 01:10:44,780
Yeah, my best man
is their flower girl.
1275
01:10:44,780 --> 01:10:47,320
- Oh, but...
- But what?
1276
01:10:47,320 --> 01:10:48,820
Oh, my...
1277
01:10:48,820 --> 01:10:49,860
That means you two
1278
01:10:49,860 --> 01:10:51,360
are the ex and new boyfriend
1279
01:10:51,360 --> 01:10:52,820
he was so intimidated by?
1280
01:10:52,820 --> 01:10:55,630
- He told you?
- He told someone.
1281
01:10:55,630 --> 01:10:58,160
I just have really good hearing.
1282
01:10:58,160 --> 01:11:01,900
So he's gonna help
you guys get married?
1283
01:11:01,900 --> 01:11:05,200
Guys that good
are really hard to find.
1284
01:11:05,200 --> 01:11:06,610
Yeah, they are.
1285
01:11:09,880 --> 01:11:12,010
Love is never easy.
1286
01:11:12,010 --> 01:11:14,380
We won't always understand
each other.
1287
01:11:14,380 --> 01:11:17,380
We won't even like
each other some days,
1288
01:11:17,380 --> 01:11:21,420
but no matter what,
you're a part of me.
1289
01:11:21,420 --> 01:11:24,660
My heart is connected to yours,
1290
01:11:24,660 --> 01:11:27,430
and no argument, no document,
1291
01:11:27,430 --> 01:11:29,860
and certainly no court ruling
1292
01:11:29,860 --> 01:11:31,700
is ever going to change that.
1293
01:11:31,700 --> 01:11:34,100
And now, by the power
vested in me--
1294
01:11:34,100 --> 01:11:36,300
- Can we kiss already?
- Please, please.
1295
01:11:42,370 --> 01:11:45,410
So now I've had sex.
1296
01:11:45,410 --> 01:11:46,680
How does it feel?
1297
01:11:46,680 --> 01:11:48,710
It was good...
1298
01:11:49,950 --> 01:11:52,280
but not as good as cheesecake.
1299
01:11:52,280 --> 01:11:53,850
It never is.
1300
01:11:56,920 --> 01:12:00,290
There will be cheesecake
at the wedding reception.
1301
01:12:00,290 --> 01:12:02,090
The wedding.
1302
01:12:03,230 --> 01:12:05,030
Those old farts
sure took their time.
1303
01:12:05,030 --> 01:12:06,600
Okay, we've got five minutes
1304
01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:07,770
before the legal marriage
loophole closes.
1305
01:12:07,770 --> 01:12:09,170
You two ready?
1306
01:12:09,170 --> 01:12:10,870
Ready.
1307
01:12:15,710 --> 01:12:17,940
Aah, wait.
My tail is stuck.
1308
01:12:21,150 --> 01:12:25,650
Okay, we are here
to join Zachary and Benjamin
1309
01:12:25,650 --> 01:12:26,850
in rapid matrimony.
1310
01:12:26,850 --> 01:12:28,690
Marriage is a contract
1311
01:12:28,690 --> 01:12:31,190
that should not be entered into
lightly, blah, blah, blah,
1312
01:12:31,190 --> 01:12:33,360
we gotta hurry this up if you
guys wanna do this in time,
1313
01:12:33,360 --> 01:12:34,560
so does anyone object?
1314
01:12:34,560 --> 01:12:35,930
Anyone?
1315
01:12:37,730 --> 01:12:40,300
Someone objects.
1316
01:12:40,300 --> 01:12:42,730
Oh, God, her?
1317
01:12:42,730 --> 01:12:44,370
No. Sorry.
1318
01:12:44,370 --> 01:12:48,410
I wasn't--
Not forever holding my peace.
1319
01:12:48,410 --> 01:12:50,540
Okay, so do you Zachary
1320
01:12:50,540 --> 01:12:53,050
take Benjamin to be your lawfully
wedded partner for life?
1321
01:12:54,180 --> 01:12:55,620
I...
1322
01:12:57,120 --> 01:12:58,680
I...
1323
01:13:00,650 --> 01:13:02,050
Can I talk to you?
1324
01:13:02,050 --> 01:13:04,820
Yeah, sure by all means,
please do.
1325
01:13:04,820 --> 01:13:06,890
You've got several seconds.
1326
01:13:08,330 --> 01:13:09,430
We can't do this.
1327
01:13:09,430 --> 01:13:10,530
You don't even love me.
1328
01:13:10,530 --> 01:13:12,560
No, but I lurve you.
1329
01:13:12,560 --> 01:13:14,030
We're evolving,
1330
01:13:14,030 --> 01:13:16,030
and this is just a legal
procedure, that's it.
1331
01:13:16,030 --> 01:13:18,240
I know it is, for you.
1332
01:13:18,240 --> 01:13:20,870
That's not what marriage is
to me.
1333
01:13:20,870 --> 01:13:22,880
I'm not fighting
1334
01:13:22,880 --> 01:13:25,310
for the right to make
a political statement.
1335
01:13:25,310 --> 01:13:27,050
I'm asking my country
to recognize me
1336
01:13:27,050 --> 01:13:29,420
for who I am
and the family I want to make,
1337
01:13:29,420 --> 01:13:31,380
and this isn't it.
1338
01:13:31,380 --> 01:13:36,720
Are you saying you don't want
to make a family with me?
1339
01:13:36,720 --> 01:13:38,820
I guess I am.
1340
01:13:38,820 --> 01:13:40,790
I mean, I lurve you...
1341
01:13:43,260 --> 01:13:44,400
but...
1342
01:13:46,460 --> 01:13:47,800
I love somebody else.
1343
01:13:52,470 --> 01:13:54,970
You've always been there.
It's always been you.
1344
01:13:54,970 --> 01:13:57,510
It's always been you.
1345
01:13:57,510 --> 01:14:00,480
I just I didn't realize it...
1346
01:14:00,480 --> 01:14:01,810
Until now.
1347
01:14:03,450 --> 01:14:07,820
One minute.
1348
01:14:07,820 --> 01:14:10,690
I'm really sorry.
1349
01:14:10,690 --> 01:14:13,730
Go ahead, kiss him.
1350
01:14:17,460 --> 01:14:19,600
You were my best friend,
1351
01:14:19,600 --> 01:14:23,340
then my boyfriend,
1352
01:14:23,340 --> 01:14:25,270
and then my best man,
1353
01:14:25,270 --> 01:14:27,340
- and now--
- Thirty seconds.
1354
01:14:27,340 --> 01:14:28,940
Is somebody going
to get married or what?
1355
01:14:44,960 --> 01:14:46,590
What a day it's been.
1356
01:14:46,590 --> 01:14:48,360
What a life it's going to be.
1357
01:14:55,430 --> 01:14:56,740
One Penny.
1358
01:14:56,740 --> 01:14:58,000
Ooh.
1359
01:14:58,000 --> 01:14:59,640
And one Lilly.
1360
01:14:59,640 --> 01:15:01,070
Thank you, Luis.
1361
01:15:01,070 --> 01:15:03,080
We're gonna miss you, Luis.
1362
01:15:03,080 --> 01:15:05,740
Oh, you will forget me
once you leave this place.
1363
01:15:05,740 --> 01:15:07,410
- Never.
- Probably.
1364
01:15:07,410 --> 01:15:08,810
Hm.
1365
01:15:10,350 --> 01:15:14,150
So how do you feel
now that you're a woman?
1366
01:15:14,150 --> 01:15:15,890
Not that different than before.
1367
01:15:15,890 --> 01:15:17,560
Just a little more...
1368
01:15:17,560 --> 01:15:21,360
I don't know, powerful.
1369
01:15:21,360 --> 01:15:24,260
I'll be asking you the same
question in a few weeks.
1370
01:15:24,260 --> 01:15:27,430
And you'll probably
get the same answer.
1371
01:15:27,430 --> 01:15:33,140
To a beautiful weekend.
To two beautiful women.
1372
01:15:33,140 --> 01:15:34,970
Cheers.
1373
01:15:36,980 --> 01:15:38,510
Shall we?
1374
01:15:46,620 --> 01:15:49,960
You're awful frisky
for a jilted groom.
1375
01:15:49,960 --> 01:15:51,690
Hey, it sucks to break up,
1376
01:15:51,690 --> 01:15:54,230
but that's
why they invented rebounds.
1377
01:15:54,230 --> 01:15:55,960
Rebounds are my specialty.
1378
01:15:59,900 --> 01:16:03,540
And three-ways--
Those are my specialty.
1379
01:16:12,810 --> 01:16:15,810
For a second there I thought
we were gonna get married.
1380
01:16:15,810 --> 01:16:17,680
I know.
So did I.
1381
01:16:17,680 --> 01:16:19,420
Can you imagine?
1382
01:16:19,420 --> 01:16:21,620
Well, yeah.
1383
01:16:21,620 --> 01:16:23,460
Me, too.
1384
01:16:23,460 --> 01:16:26,830
So we both love each other.
So now what?
1385
01:16:26,830 --> 01:16:29,200
You mean what if
we get bored again?
1386
01:16:29,200 --> 01:16:30,860
Yeah.
1387
01:16:30,860 --> 01:16:33,400
I guess
we could always break up.
1388
01:16:33,400 --> 01:16:36,100
And then lie, trick,
and seduce our way
1389
01:16:36,100 --> 01:16:37,900
back into each other's hearts.
1390
01:16:37,900 --> 01:16:40,610
Sounds like a plan.
1391
01:16:40,610 --> 01:16:43,980
We are so weird.
1392
01:16:43,980 --> 01:16:46,180
♪ So I asked for love ♪
1393
01:16:46,180 --> 01:16:49,920
♪ I asked for a song ♪
1394
01:16:49,920 --> 01:16:53,190
- ♪ And there'll be joy ♪
- ♪ There'll be joy ♪
1395
01:16:53,190 --> 01:16:54,990
- ♪ Joy ♪
- ♪ There'll be joy ♪
1396
01:16:54,990 --> 01:16:57,790
♪ Joy ♪
1397
01:16:57,790 --> 01:16:59,830
♪ I searched for peace ♪
1398
01:16:59,830 --> 01:17:01,660
♪ I begged for health ♪
1399
01:17:01,660 --> 01:17:05,160
- ♪ And I Prayed for time ♪
- ♪ Prayed for time ♪
1400
01:17:05,160 --> 01:17:08,430
- ♪ And there'll be joy ♪
- ♪ There'll be joy ♪
1401
01:17:08,430 --> 01:17:10,440
- ♪ Joy ♪
- ♪ There'll be joy ♪
1402
01:17:10,440 --> 01:17:14,240
♪ Joy ♪
1403
01:17:14,240 --> 01:17:16,010
♪♪
1404
01:17:20,880 --> 01:17:23,050
♪ I searched for peace ♪
1405
01:17:23,050 --> 01:17:24,880
♪ I begged for health ♪
1406
01:17:24,880 --> 01:17:26,790
♪ And I prayed for time ♪
1407
01:17:26,790 --> 01:17:28,850
♪ Prayed for time ♪
1408
01:17:28,850 --> 01:17:31,920
- ♪ And there'll be joy ♪
- ♪ There'll be joy ♪
1409
01:17:31,920 --> 01:17:33,930
- ♪ Joy ♪
- ♪ There'll be joy ♪
1410
01:17:33,930 --> 01:17:36,130
♪ Joy ♪
1411
01:17:49,940 --> 01:17:52,440
♪ Took a walk alone today ♪
1412
01:17:52,440 --> 01:17:54,880
♪ First time
I'd seen the sun ♪
1413
01:17:54,880 --> 01:17:58,420
♪ The oceans, every blade
of grass, and I ♪
1414
01:17:58,420 --> 01:18:00,420
♪ We all live as one ♪
1415
01:18:00,420 --> 01:18:03,320
♪ Two birds
in a yellowwood tree ♪
1416
01:18:03,320 --> 01:18:05,760
♪ I wish our love
would always be ♪
1417
01:18:05,760 --> 01:18:08,260
♪ I've seen
the works of heaven ♪
1418
01:18:08,260 --> 01:18:11,360
♪ But it took your love
to set me free ♪
1419
01:18:11,360 --> 01:18:14,330
♪ I've seen the wonders
of the world ♪
1420
01:18:14,330 --> 01:18:17,200
♪ Stood on mountains
green and tall ♪
1421
01:18:17,200 --> 01:18:20,370
♪ Seen kingdoms
rise and fall ♪
1422
01:18:20,370 --> 01:18:22,570
♪ All for love and war ♪
1423
01:18:22,570 --> 01:18:25,310
♪ Yet I yearn to understand ♪
1424
01:18:25,310 --> 01:18:28,250
♪ The amazement in my hands ♪
1425
01:18:28,250 --> 01:18:31,250
♪ There's nothing
on this land ♪
1426
01:18:31,250 --> 01:18:35,320
♪ Like you ♪
1427
01:18:38,120 --> 01:18:40,590
♪ You ♪
1428
01:18:40,590 --> 01:18:43,660
♪ Amaze me ♪
1429
01:18:43,660 --> 01:18:46,530
♪ Thought about
how you made me see ♪
1430
01:18:46,530 --> 01:18:49,100
♪ And how the colors
came to life in me ♪
1431
01:18:49,100 --> 01:18:51,440
♪ When I saw a butterfly ♪
1432
01:18:51,440 --> 01:18:54,510
♪ Dance upon destiny ♪
1433
01:18:54,510 --> 01:18:57,140
♪ And I watched it
rise up and fly ♪
1434
01:18:57,140 --> 01:18:59,780
♪ It was then
I saw you and I ♪
1435
01:18:59,780 --> 01:19:02,580
♪ I feel
like a little child ♪
1436
01:19:02,580 --> 01:19:05,380
♪ On its first breath
of life ♪
1437
01:19:05,380 --> 01:19:08,450
♪ I've seen the wonders
of the world ♪
1438
01:19:08,450 --> 01:19:11,120
♪ Stood on mountains
green and tall ♪
1439
01:19:11,120 --> 01:19:14,290
♪ Seen kingdoms
rise and fall ♪
1440
01:19:14,290 --> 01:19:16,600
♪ All for love and war ♪
1441
01:19:16,600 --> 01:19:19,360
♪ Yet I yearn to understand ♪
1442
01:19:19,360 --> 01:19:22,300
♪ The amazement in my hands ♪
1443
01:19:22,300 --> 01:19:25,300
♪ There's nothing
on this land ♪
1444
01:19:25,300 --> 01:19:29,370
♪ Like you ♪
1445
01:19:29,370 --> 01:19:32,180
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
1446
01:19:32,180 --> 01:19:34,650
♪ You ♪
1447
01:19:34,650 --> 01:19:39,380
♪ Amaze me ♪
1448
01:19:39,380 --> 01:19:42,890
♪ Yeah, yeah, whoa... ♪
1449
01:19:42,890 --> 01:19:45,360
♪ When I count
the compromises ♪
1450
01:19:45,360 --> 01:19:49,160
♪ Showed me like... inside ♪
1451
01:19:49,160 --> 01:19:51,500
♪ And I saw you ♪
1452
01:19:51,500 --> 01:19:54,070
♪ I've seen the wonders
of the world ♪
1453
01:19:54,070 --> 01:19:56,700
♪ Stood on mountains
green and tall ♪
1454
01:19:56,700 --> 01:20:00,070
♪ Seen kingdoms
rise and fall ♪
1455
01:20:00,070 --> 01:20:02,270
♪ All for love and war ♪
1456
01:20:02,270 --> 01:20:05,010
♪ Yet I yearn to understand ♪
1457
01:20:05,010 --> 01:20:07,750
♪ The amazement in my hands ♪
1458
01:20:07,750 --> 01:20:10,950
♪ There's nothing
on this land ♪
1459
01:20:10,950 --> 01:20:13,450
♪ Like you ♪
1460
01:20:13,450 --> 01:20:16,350
♪ There's nothing
on this land ♪
1461
01:20:16,350 --> 01:20:22,230
♪ Like you ♪
1462
01:20:23,300 --> 01:20:26,060
♪ You ♪
1463
01:20:26,060 --> 01:20:28,830
♪ Amaze me ♪
1464
01:20:36,510 --> 01:20:39,240
You are 10 kinds of sexy.
1465
01:20:39,240 --> 01:20:41,780
How do you feel
about open relationships?
1466
01:20:43,620 --> 01:20:45,280
Intrigued.
1467
01:20:45,280 --> 01:20:47,990
Do you maybe want
to go out on a date?
1468
01:20:47,990 --> 01:20:51,820
I'd like that.
1469
01:20:51,820 --> 01:20:54,690
Can I come?
1470
01:20:54,690 --> 01:20:57,960
Just kidding.
I'm a Republican Congressman.
1471
01:20:57,960 --> 01:20:59,400
Can you imagine if that got out?
1472
01:21:06,710 --> 01:21:09,270
♪ Do you like what you see? ♪
1473
01:21:09,270 --> 01:21:12,210
♪ I keep entertaining ♪
1474
01:21:12,210 --> 01:21:15,780
♪ Why won't you let me be? ♪
1475
01:21:15,780 --> 01:21:18,820
♪ Me be? ♪
1476
01:21:18,820 --> 01:21:22,390
♪ So what
am I supposed to do? ♪
1477
01:21:22,390 --> 01:21:25,120
♪ To do business with you? ♪
1478
01:21:25,120 --> 01:21:27,860
♪ I like your company ♪
1479
01:21:27,860 --> 01:21:31,160
♪ Your company ♪
1480
01:21:31,160 --> 01:21:34,070
♪ Keep it professional ♪
1481
01:21:34,070 --> 01:21:35,430
♪ Keep it ♪
1482
01:21:35,430 --> 01:21:37,570
♪ Keep it professional ♪
1483
01:21:37,570 --> 01:21:40,940
♪ Extra! Extra!
Read all about it ♪
1484
01:21:40,940 --> 01:21:43,810
♪♪
1485
01:21:43,810 --> 01:21:46,880
♪ Keep it professional... ♪
1486
01:21:50,480 --> 01:21:54,990
♪ Extra, extra, extra ♪
1487
01:21:54,990 --> 01:21:56,690
♪ Read all about it ♪
102322
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