All language subtitles for Black.Monday.S01E10.WEBRip.x264-ION10

♪ synth music ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ It's Showtime tonight ♪

Previously on
Black Monday...

Ever since
I put this on you,

it's just been
a series of disasters.

This is cursed.

♪ dramatic music ♪

Your tie pin.

I want you
to have the other one

to remember me by.

Just a little something

to remind us of
the greatest lesson

we've all learned
from you, Mo.

Fuck 'em all.

Fuck 'em all.

Fuck 'em all.

Mo, is that Tiff?

This is my friend Rod Jaminski.

He just died.

Your algorithm
doesn't even fucking work.

I-I'm working on it.

How would you feel if we told
your son and your boyfriend

that they're going to jail
for illegal share parking?

Blair's in love with me,

and I think I'm falling
for him too.

Blair's trying to make a move
against both of us.

He's trying to run
the Georgina play for himself.

You really have crossed all
the way over to the dark side.

I learned it
by watching you, Dad.

♪ upbeat percussive music ♪

I almost blew it last night.

Blair was feeling
all lovey-dovey, you know,

kissing my neck and--and--
and feeling me up,

- grabbing my--
- Yeah, I get the jizz.

I had to pretend
like I found a lump

just so I could
get out of there

without punching him
in his lying-ass face.

I can't believe that
you didn't know he was gay.

Wait, me? You dated a girl
for an entire year

without realizing
she was deaf.

I thought she was Czech.

- It's a very similar accent.
- No, it's not.

Listen, don't worry
about Blair, all right?

He's gonna get his
by not getting his.

How?

Once we pull
this Georgina play,

- we liquidate their assets...
- Yeah.

...bankrupt that bitch,

and all the money flows
into the Jammer Group.

Of which Blair owns
six percent.

Which is why I'm gonna do

the exact same thing
to the Jammer Group.

- What?
- Turns out, there was

a secret clause in my bylaws
that have some real claws

that'll make Santa Claus
come--

Okay.
Okay, okay, one second.

Can we ditch the wordplay
until you finish explaining?

Any majority owner can
freeze out any minority owner,

which means you and I can stop
Blair from cashing out

while we liquidate
the Jammer Group, right?

Bankrupt this bitch,
take all that cash,

and start our own company:
the Mo Co.

Okay, you're right,
the Mo Experience.

Can you believe
that we got him trapped

in a classic Catch-69?

I just assume you're gonna
tell me why it's not 22?

The only way he can fuck us
is if he gets fucked.

So it's a Catch-22.

Jesus Chri-- can we just
focus on what's important,

like how we're gonna
keep champagne spray

- off our brand-new tuxes?
- Mmm.

It's gonna be like
a championship locker room

- up in this bitch.

I can't believe
you bought us all

Bijan tuxes for
your birthday tonight.

Getting you all fitted
without you finding out,

now, that was
the tricky part.

Oh, yeah.

Dawny, I--

I would have never
got here without you.

I can't think of anybody
I'd rather celebrate with.

Yeah, well, you just better
be at your birthday, you know.

I can't believe you
no-showed last year.

You missed Jesse Jackson

telling Joe Piscopo's
Joan Rivers impression

to go back to Hymie Town.

Goddamn it,
I miss everything.

Yeah, well, let me
tell you something:

last year has got nothing
on tonight.

- Mm.
- If I don't show,

you better
call the fucking morgue.

Ooh!

♪ contemplative music ♪

- I am so sorry.
- Are you?

'Cause they said you
could have protected me,

but you chose Mo.

They're charging me
with securities fraud.

I spent last night
in a 12x12 cell.

Well, if you think about it,

it's kind of bigger
than your apartment.

Don't, don't.

Look, I didn't think
they were gonna do shit.

Oh, they did shit,

and then I had to watch
a man named Bertrude

take a shit without
breaking eye contact

with me for 15 minutes.

There's no stalls, Keith.

I can fix this,
make this right.

Just trust me.
Just trust me. Don't--

- It's over, Keith.

You can never fix this.

We'll be in touch, Mike.

You called our bluff
on your boyfriend.

Next up is your family.

Give us Mo
and this all goes away.

And destroying the tape
isn't gonna

save your ass this time

'cause we're gonna be
listening to you live

- with the latest technology.
- So small.

You guys don't understand,
okay?

Mo is my friend,
my best friend.

Mo is a piece of shit,
and he's not your friend.

Tell me, how much
of the Georgina play

is he giving you again?

Oh, right, zilch percent.

What has he ever
done for you?

He gave me a job
when no one else would.

This is your moment
of truth, Keith.

Seize it, or we're gonna
seize your assets

and your ass,
and we'll seize you in court.

Just pick one, Deb.

Seize you in court.

♪ ominous music ♪

All right, everybody,
shut the fuck up real quick.

There you go.

Now, listen, we've been
through a lot...of coke.

No, no, no, no, actually,

we have shared a lot of--

- Prostitutes.
- And herpes.

It was a zit.
I have adult acne.

But through it all,

we've had each other's backs,
right?

And in exactly one minute 34,

it all pays off
when we take over Georgina

and strip that bitch
like an IROC-Z.

Strip that bitch
like Roxy from Cheetah's.

Strip that bitch like Rocky

stripped itself
of all artistic merit

with the three
lesser received sequels.

I have lined up buyers for all
the Georgina warehouses, right?

It's gonna be the biggest
real estate deal

in New York history.

And we couldn't have
done it all

without the kid here,

who's become like a kid to me.

- Ah.
- No, really, I gotta tell you,

it has been amazing
to watch your evolution

from punk-ass bitch
to cold-ass mofo.

Come on,
say a few words. Take a bow.

- Well, it's been a real
pleasure getting to know--

Okay, here we go:
five...

Four, three, two, one!

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

Maurice.

Oh, my God.

Wakey wakey,
you fucking lightweight.

You can't--
you can't be here.

You're--you're dead.

You're dead.

Welcome to hell.

I got ya.

But I-I-I spread
your ashes and everything.

I mean, I cried
for the first time

since Reagan got shot
and didn't die.

It was a prank, bud.

I'm the pranking
prank king.

The urn was filled
with roadkill

and my friend
Bobby Durst's dogs,

maybe a wife or two.

That is so fucking...
incredible...

...outrageous, and amazing.

Oh, my God!

I had to find a way to surprise
my boy on his birthday,

for Christ's sake.

Gang, this man
made so much money

the man made up laws
to keep him in prison.

My own personal Mr. Drummond,
Rod "The Jammer" Jaminski.

That's why you named

this place the Jammer Group.

Oh, I thought it was
hammer but Swedish.

Why would he name it
after a Swedish hammer?

What are we
chitchatting for, boys?

I've been in a bubble
for I don't know

how many fucking months,

so let's all party
until we die!

Here we go.

This is
the best birthday ever!

Mo, can I talk to you
in private?

Ooh!

This party just got
a little better.

I'm coming too.

Oh.

No, no, I'll try
anything twice.

Jammer!
Jammer! Jammer!

Mo, we gotta talk.

No, we gotta talk.

You know, I'll start.

♪ Oh, Blair... ♪

Fuck you.

Yeah, we know
what you've been up to.

I don't think you do.

Oh, we do.

No, you don't.

I'm sorry, Momo.

♪ tense music ♪

What's happening?

You're fired.

And your piece of
the Jammer Group is frozen.

Is what we're about
to tell you, right, Dawn?

Oh, did you ruin the surprise?

You'd have to have majority
control to kick me out.

Oh, baby, I do.

No, baby, you don't.

I'm sorry, Momo.

Why do you keep saying that?

♪ foreboding music ♪

Oh, fuck.

It all started the night

you ruined
my engagement party.

Dawn helped me figure out
some things

I'd been struggling with
for a long time.

Dawn, I'm really confused
right now.

I know.
You're gay.

What? No.

No. Why does everyone
keep saying that?

I'm sorry;
isn't--isn't that

what you were gonna say
you're confused about?

No.

No, what I was going to say
was, I'm confused about Mo.

Is he up to something
with me and Georgina?

Because I found the Georgina
document in the shredder,

and--and--and I could have
sworn that that cop actor

tonight at the party,

he was the security guard

who busted me for coke
on the floor.

And I think I saw him
in an ALF.

Well, fuck all that.

I'm worried about you,
Blair.

Talk to me.

I got a feeling
I'm the only person

you can talk to
about this.

Yeah.

I don't know.

It's like...it's like when
I first got to the city,

I kept seeing these ads
for the McDonald's McRib.

Do you know that thing?

It's like a rack of ribs
on a bun, except it's not.

It's something called
restructured meat product,

and they pressurize it
into the shape of ribs,

bones and all.

Why would someone want
a sandwich with bones in it?

Exactly.
It doesn't make sense.

The bones aren't real.

♪ unsettling music ♪

And I guess sometimes that's...

that's how I feel,
like I've...

...like I've been pressed
into this shape that...

...doesn't make sense
to me.

I don't know. I--

I don't know what I feel.

But I feel it in my bones.

Do you like how
I got back to bones?

And you almost landed it.

But I get it.

I felt that way before
I got to the Jammer Group,

but...

...that's what's so great
about New York.

You can be who you are.

And you'll figure out
who that is, Blair,

but whatever you do...

...you can't marry Tiff.

I know.

But should we order
some ribs?

I could do a half slab.

Then when I was
up at the lake house,

Blair called me
in the middle of the night

and helped me figure out
some things

that I'd been struggling with
for a long time too.

What?

Yes!

Tiff's parents
kidnapped her for the press.

I can't believe
how fucked everyone is.

They fucked
their own daughter.

Mo fucked me.

Well, you know what?

Fuck 'em all.

Let's you and I run
the Georgina play.

That's right.

I know you knew.

You're too smart not to.

I can't.

I just--I can't--
I can't do that to Mo.

Oh, Jesus, Dawn,
for someone so smart,

you have a real blind spot
for Mo.

- There's a good man in there.
- Where?

You built that place with him,

and he made you beg to get
even less than you deserve.

He acts like the only reason
you got anywhere

is because you slept with him.

That is bullshit!

Okay, I am the best trader
in that shithole.

- I'm the best trader anywhere.
- Exactly.

Look, you set me straight
or whatever the other night,

and now I'm gonna
set you straight.

It's your time, Dawn.

Mo's been holding you back
for long enough.

Be who you are.

Here's the plan:

first, I'm gonna get
a fucking cordless phone.

Wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait a minute.

Why would you make me think
that you were dating

and then turn right back around
and tell me that you're gay?

Because I knew you'd
never give up

the six percent of
the Jammer Group to Blair

unless you thought
it was your idea.

The only way to fuck
you without you knowing

was to convince you you were
fucking me at the same time.

Catch-69.

Honestly, it was a lot easier
than we thought.

You were jealous of us
all year for no reason.

We just had to give you one.

Blair is in love with me,

and I think that
I'm falling for him too.

And then add in a dash

of your coke-fueled paranoia

about how everyone's out
to get you...to get you.

I just bumped into Tiff,
all right?

Now, she's pretty plastered,

but she still managed to drop
a couple bombshells like...

I'm in.

We're doing the me play.

- I cut Tiff in.
- Yeah?

She took it surprisingly well,
considering she just found out

her marriage and her kidnapping
were a sham.

It's gonna cost us,
but she's gonna set up Mo.

She can't wait
to use her "acting."

Just like theater camp,

I'm always getting fucked
by gay guys.

Wait a minute,
what do you--

And he's gonna run to me,

and I'm gonna
run him in circles.

Blair is gay.

Oh, no, not Blair.

I'm gonna...

...kill that motherfucker.

Yeah, that's good.
That's good. I like that.

So six percent
I gave you

plus her 15 percent,
that's 21.

I'm sure the other 30 percent
came from the Leighmans.

- Yep.
- But how?

The algorithm.

Once I accepted the fact

that the only thing it was
good for was losing money,

I realized I could spot
a loser from a mile away.

I rewrote the code
to automatically sell

when a stock hit a certain
threshold to diminish losses,

portfolio insurance.

I wanted to call it
the Blair bag,

like airbag but with my name,

or the Blair-achute,

but I'm not
a fucking pussy anymore.

Wow.

Well, fuck me.

I mean, I guess
you already did that.

And I deserved it...

from him, but from you?

Jesus Christ, Dawn,
how could you do this shit?

What a punk move.

I mean, didn't we have
some good times together?

Good times?
This isn't about you, Mo.

- This is about me.
- Oh.

- Punk move, really?
- Yeah.

If I were a man,
they'd just call it business.

- It's just business, Mo.
- Well, you know what?

I taught you
the fucking business.

I have an MBA
from Northwestern.

Oh, here we go,
throw that shit up in my face.

You could set your clock
by that one.

I literally
never mention it.

You know what?
I dropped out of seventh grade.

- Sorry, Dawn, sue me.
- I never cared, Mo.

- Bullshit you didn't care.
- Bullshit I never cared!

Guys, guys.

Let me get my camcorder

'cause I love it
when Mommy and Daddy fight.

- Motherfucker.
- What the fuck?

- Hey, hey, hey!
- Yo, yo!

Check it out! The market's
taking a huge shit right now.

It's down 200 points.

Wow, that's even more
than we thought.

The fuck
did you guys do?

Well, once we saw
how easily the Leighmans

let Blair's video game take
over their whole portfolio,

we couldn't resist.

Well, if it isn't
Robert Downey syndrome.

I was hoping I'd run into you
with my Porsche,

but I had to sell that car

when your algorithm
wiped out my account

and fucked me from VP
down to bean counter.

Literally, I work
at the soybean pit

hawking Jap fart marbles

like some sort of
Mick Dago Yid mutt.

Wow, you really
hit everyone there.

Well, despite
that slurry of slurs,

I came to make it up to you.

This will get you back
in that corner office.

After it worked
for him for a month,

Ty convinced all of Morgan
to use the algorithm too.

But what Leighman
and Morgan didn't know

was that we put a tiny glitch
in the program

that would sell
their entire portfolio

when a certain blue chip stock
started dropping.

Georgina Jeans.

Georgina Jeans.

And, of course,

the Georgina play
triggered a major sell-off.

And then you shorted
the market.

Well, that was
Dawn's idea.

I mean, what's 100 mill
when you can make two?

Stupid.

Mo, listen.

Mo?

Are you gonna barf?

Uh, just, uh,
having a little bit

of an out-of-money experience.

You guys have any fucking idea
what you've done?

It's a minor
market correction.

Correction?

Blair, what did I tell you
fucking day one?

Computers don't make trades.
Men do.

And men are superstitious
and scared and stupid,

and when they see
two big houses selling,

they're gonna fucking panic,

and panic spreads like
wildfire, like chlamydia.

- I can't believe--
- What?

That we beat you
and the market?

I was gonna say
I Can't Believe It's Not Butter

'cause that shit
spreads real nice.

People are gonna lose
their fucking houses,

their jobs, their livelihoods,

their fucking everything,
Blair.

So?

Wow.
This isn't a stock play.

It's a Steinbeck play,
Grapes of Wrath shit.

Well, congratulations,
assholes.

You just broke
the fucking world.

I think you're exaggerating.

Am I?

♪ Six o'clock already ♪

♪ I was just in the middle
of a dream ♪

♪ I was kissin' Valentino ♪

♪ By a crystal blue
Italian stream ♪

♪ But I can't be late ♪

♪ 'Cause then I guess
I just won't get paid ♪

♪ These are the days ♪

♪ When you wish your bed
was already made ♪

♪ It's just another
manic Monday ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ I wish it was Sunday ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ 'Cause that's my fun day ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ My I-don't-have-to-run day ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

No, fuck!
Not the Georgina play!

The market's crashing.

It's happening again,
Len, just like '29.

We're not going out
like Grand-père.

No Leighmans are dying today!

Stop talking and just move
everything into gold.

- Dammit!
- What?

We're locked out
of our positions.

The algorithm, it's
selling everything we own.

I can't stop it.

This was all a Jammer Group
plot to screw us.

Yeah, well, nobody screws us
but us.

I-I-I-I meant--

I know what you meant.

I meant that
the only one smart enough

to technically get the better
of us is technically us.

You're just
a little haphazard

with your word choices,
all right?

I mean, all siblings
take baths together,

you know,
when they're younger,

and then what--what's
the cutoff age, eight, nine?

Yeah, you're preaching
to the choir.

In Europe,
there is no cutoff.

Forty five, I don't know.

Can you please just stop
the algorithm?

- Stop yelling at me!

- Stop the fucking algorithm!

♪ ominous music ♪

What?

Look, Mo.

You always said if I wanted
something from you,

I had to take it.

I'm sorry, Mo,

but it's my time,

and if it's any consolation,
you know,

this--this--this whole thing,

it was in motion before I even
knew about the ring and...

Does it matter?

Does any of this fucking shit
matter anymore?

It's just us,
you know what I mean,

round and round
on a fucking roller coaster,

like you called it.

I'm done with it.

I want to get off.

For real,

or is this just a joke
about gettin' off?

I'm out of jokes.

Look, I--

I love you.

But you know that already.

So what is there
even left to say?

Fuck the play. Fuck the money.
Fuck 'em all.

Okay, it really is just us.

Pretty
unorthodox proposal.

He didn't buy
that ring five years ago.

He bought it yesterday.

Get the fuck out of here,
Blair.

I had a PI follow you, Maurice.

You sent Chad upstate yesterday

to buy that ring
to cover your ass.

No, I sent Chad to pick up
my new Limbo yesterday.

- He was never gonna propose.
- Dawn.

That's not true, okay?
This is real.

Nothing about you is real.

You are all bullshit.

Dawn, do not get soft
right now.

I don't know what to believe.

Believe me.

Holy shit!

This market is falling harder
than me in the shower.

You can take a hike.

What's the long faces?

Let's start celebrating
before the world ends.

Not really a good time
to celebrate, Jammer.

These two...

...fucked me over.

What?

It's fucking done,
all right?

The Georgina play
blew up in my face.

That's bullshit.

Look, it's nice to have
some family here

at least to celebrate
my birthday.

Family, what are you--what are
you talking about family?

You think I came here for your
pathetic fuckin' birthday?

What, are you nine?

You want a GoBot or something?

I'm here for my piece
of the Georgina play.

You don't have any shares
of Georgina.

Or of the Jammer Group.

Bitch, I staked
the Jammer Group.

Why the hell do you think
they call it the Jammer Group?

That was a gift for me

because you were proud of me
and what I--

Proud? Goddamn it, kid,
you're embarrassing yourself.

You're not my son.

If you were my son,

you wouldn't have
fucked up like this.

We met in prison,
for Christ's sake, Roland.

What's the matter with you?

Who's Roland?

You gave me your fucking
lucky watch.

You mean this fucking watch?

They're 60 bucks,

and I get 'em
from a Chinaman in Koreatown.

Who's Roland?

He's me. I'm him.
It's--

I told you, Dawn.

He is all bullshit.

♪ funky hip-hop music ♪

Oh, hey,
let me take care of it.

You got a little spot
right here, man.

Hey, I said no.
You see this?

What the fuck are you doing?

Yeah.
What the--

Give me that bow!

It's gonna be all right.

It's okay.

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

One of us should take
a steamy shit in Mo's car?

I haven't felt
this close to you since

we ate our brother,
Lonnie, in the womb.

Flip it.

Watch out.

Heads.

Tails.

Heads.

You know what?
I actually have to go anyway.

Oh, I know.

Love you.

Make it a wet one!

Look, Mo,

I know you think
you've lost everything,

but you haven't.

You will always have...

the Honda.

You're gonna need
my shitty Honda.

A bet's a bet.

You really are
a fucking Boy Scout.

I'm sorry to interrupt
your little drum circle here,

you fucking hippies,

but I made
a long-term investment in you,

and now I'm here to collect.

Well, get it from them,
all right?

I taught 'em
everything I know,

and they used it to play me.

Bullshit!

I taught you
everything I know,

which is how I know

all of you
are playing me.

It's over, Jammer.

Holy shit.

Fat Fred just had a heart
attack in the grain pit.

Jammer,
I'm telling you the truth.

They won fair and square.

They pulled off
the Georgina play.

Wow, twist.

Yeah, did all I could.

You actually did a lot,

didn't you, Mo?

Like planting cocaine on Blair

and laundering money
for the Yakuza

and parking all that
Georgina stock illegally,

so we can all agree that
Maurice Monroe did all of that.

Yes, Keith,
Maurice Monroe did all of that,

although I'm not sure
why we're listing this

all in one sitting.

But Keith's right.

You're always right.

You're the only one in this
room full of fucking snakes

that never fucked me over
for 15 years.

Turns out you're the best
friend I got in the world.

Jesus Christ,
I love you, man.

Uh...

Um, can I get some air?

I-I just--
excuse me for a second.

♪ tense music ♪

Listen up, you fucks.

I've been waiting all my life
for a deal this sweet...

...and I am not leaving here
without my piece.

What the fuck are you
gonna do about it, Jammer?

It's over.

What the fuck
am I gonna do about it?

- Yeah.
- How 'bout this?

- My gun!
- You think I'm fucking around?

Oh, oh, okay, okay.

Huh, you people think
I'm fucking around?

♪ intense music ♪

Now who's fucking around?

Holy shit, Keith!

- Ow.
- Keith!

Ah!

Mo!

Nobody jams the Jammer!

Mo!

Ah!

Ah!

Prick!

Fuck me?

Fuck you.

Mo!

Oh!

Fuck me.

Fuck you!

♪ suspenseful synth music ♪

Boss.

I'm sorry.

Fuck him.

No.

I'm sorry.

♪ solemn music ♪

Okay.

Okay!

Listen up, everybody!

All right, fan out
and find Maurice Monroe!

What she said,
motherfuckers!

Mo.

Roland, whoever.

Yeah, I know how
this song goes.

Yeah.

Fuck.

Was a little bumpy,

but I think
we stuck the landing.

A man just died.

I mean,

he was kinda already
knockin' on hell's door.

Let's celebrate, partner.

Ah.

More for me!

♪ ominous music ♪

- Go, go, go!

He's got to be
here somewhere.

Look around!

Mr. Monroe, you're under--

oh, it's just his secretary.

Let's keep moving!
Go, go, go!

♪ tense music ♪

♪ Time, it goes so fast
when you're having fun ♪

♪ It's just another
manic Monday ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Wish it was Sunday ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ 'Cause that's my fun day ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ My I-don't-have-to-run day ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ It's just another
manic Monday ♪