Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,220 --> 00:00:03,300
♪ synth music ♪
2
00:00:03,387 --> 00:00:05,797
♪ Ooh ♪
3
00:00:05,887 --> 00:00:07,387
♪ It's Showtime tonight ♪
4
00:00:07,470 --> 00:00:08,760
Previously
on Black Monday...
5
00:00:08,845 --> 00:00:09,925
- Whoa!
- We thought
6
00:00:10,011 --> 00:00:11,051
you might call
the wedding off
7
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:12,006
after your whole
8
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:13,505
engagement party fiasco.
9
00:00:13,595 --> 00:00:14,635
- Oh!
- What?
10
00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:15,680
- Oh!
- Oh, my God!
11
00:00:17,220 --> 00:00:19,680
As if, slut!
12
00:00:19,762 --> 00:00:20,892
- I found these
13
00:00:20,970 --> 00:00:22,220
at the Georginas' apartment.
14
00:00:22,303 --> 00:00:24,103
They must have kidnapped
Tiff themselves.
15
00:00:24,178 --> 00:00:25,428
We want
Maurice Monroe,
16
00:00:25,512 --> 00:00:27,012
and you are gonna give him
to us.
17
00:00:27,095 --> 00:00:29,175
I want a divorce.
18
00:00:29,261 --> 00:00:30,761
Blair is in love with me,
and I think
19
00:00:30,845 --> 00:00:32,545
I'm falling for him, too.
20
00:00:35,887 --> 00:00:37,967
♪ percussive music ♪
21
00:00:44,428 --> 00:00:47,348
♪ Tiffany's "I Think We're
Alone Now" playing ♪
22
00:01:03,303 --> 00:01:06,473
♪ They don't understand
and so they ♪
23
00:01:06,553 --> 00:01:09,763
♪ Keep asking if this whole
thing's a gaffe ♪
24
00:01:09,845 --> 00:01:13,255
♪ How'd such a catch
end up with a Pfaff? ♪
25
00:01:13,345 --> 00:01:16,505
♪ I said no-sevelt
to a Roosevelt ♪
26
00:01:16,595 --> 00:01:18,215
♪ That Hearst was the worst ♪
27
00:01:18,303 --> 00:01:19,893
♪ Almost had a child
with a Rothschild ♪
28
00:01:19,970 --> 00:01:21,050
♪ And Anderson Cooper ♪
29
00:01:21,136 --> 00:01:22,506
Oof.
30
00:01:24,136 --> 00:01:26,096
I still can't believe
you left Spencer
31
00:01:26,178 --> 00:01:28,138
for Blair.
32
00:01:28,220 --> 00:01:30,180
You love bitches
more than Billie Jean King.
33
00:01:30,261 --> 00:01:32,141
Do you work on these at home?
34
00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:33,850
- No.
- No?
35
00:01:33,929 --> 00:01:35,099
- Whatever.
- Yeah.
36
00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:37,048
- Sometimes on the toilet.
- Okay.
37
00:01:37,136 --> 00:01:37,926
What I'm saying is,
if these guys are your type,
38
00:01:38,011 --> 00:01:39,181
what'd you ever see in me?
39
00:01:39,261 --> 00:01:41,261
You are the biggest bitch
of all.
40
00:01:41,345 --> 00:01:44,845
You're afraid of love.
41
00:01:44,929 --> 00:01:48,139
♪ I said no to a Devin,
an Evan, and a Kevin ♪
42
00:01:48,220 --> 00:01:50,760
♪ And don't even get me
started on the Davids ♪
43
00:01:50,845 --> 00:01:52,505
♪ Don't worry,
none of them were Jews ♪
44
00:01:52,595 --> 00:01:54,385
Did you know the song
that knocked this song
45
00:01:54,470 --> 00:01:55,600
out of the number one spot
46
00:01:55,679 --> 00:01:56,759
was also a Shondells cover,
47
00:01:56,845 --> 00:01:58,545
"Mony Mony."
The '80s suck.
48
00:01:58,637 --> 00:02:01,297
Yeah, well, did you know
that I paid good "mony mony"
49
00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:02,757
to a girl named Shondell
50
00:02:02,845 --> 00:02:05,095
to put my number one
in her spot?
51
00:02:05,178 --> 00:02:07,678
I dare you to tell the truth
one time.
52
00:02:07,762 --> 00:02:09,222
Red or white?
53
00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:10,933
Or I could mix 'em.
You...strike me
54
00:02:11,011 --> 00:02:12,141
as a pink guy.
55
00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:13,510
What the fuck are you talking--
56
00:02:13,595 --> 00:02:14,545
You know what?
Take your time.
57
00:02:14,637 --> 00:02:15,347
We're not going anywhere.
58
00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:18,393
Uh,
can I order something?
59
00:02:18,470 --> 00:02:19,680
Caterers are terrible.
60
00:02:19,762 --> 00:02:22,302
♪ Blair's not alone now ♪
61
00:02:22,387 --> 00:02:23,967
♪ They say he wants my money ♪
62
00:02:24,053 --> 00:02:26,603
♪ But he won't get shit ♪
63
00:02:26,679 --> 00:02:30,049
Babe, this is really...
64
00:02:30,136 --> 00:02:31,756
- good.
- Right?
65
00:02:31,845 --> 00:02:33,345
I'll tell you what:
Tiffany better look out,
66
00:02:33,428 --> 00:02:34,598
'cause there's a new Tiffany
in town who can butcher
67
00:02:34,679 --> 00:02:36,219
other people's songs
even better.
68
00:02:36,303 --> 00:02:38,303
That means a lot.
You know how important
69
00:02:38,387 --> 00:02:39,967
- malls are to me.
- Yeah.
70
00:02:40,053 --> 00:02:41,893
In fact,
can I get your autograph?
71
00:02:41,970 --> 00:02:43,800
Oh, my God.
Of course!
72
00:02:43,887 --> 00:02:45,717
Ah, no, seriously, though,
just while I got you...
73
00:02:45,804 --> 00:02:46,554
What's this now?
74
00:02:46,637 --> 00:02:47,547
Um...
75
00:02:47,637 --> 00:02:48,797
...it's just, you know,
76
00:02:48,887 --> 00:02:51,007
normal wedding paperwork.
Uh,
77
00:02:51,095 --> 00:02:52,595
we got a marriage license,
we got a power of attorney...
78
00:02:52,679 --> 00:02:54,049
Power of attorney?
79
00:02:54,136 --> 00:02:55,676
Well, I mean,
wouldn't you rather
80
00:02:55,762 --> 00:02:58,642
I take care of all that boring
81
00:02:58,720 --> 00:02:59,930
financial junk
82
00:03:00,011 --> 00:03:02,931
so you can focus
on all your...
83
00:03:03,011 --> 00:03:05,431
...important, you know, stuff
84
00:03:05,512 --> 00:03:07,852
you do during the daytime?
85
00:03:07,929 --> 00:03:10,799
- I mean, I am so busy...
- Yeah, I know.
86
00:03:10,887 --> 00:03:12,597
But I can't sign that.
I'm sorry.
87
00:03:12,679 --> 00:03:14,219
While I got you,
88
00:03:14,303 --> 00:03:16,763
there is something
I kind of need you to sign.
89
00:03:16,845 --> 00:03:18,135
Well, what's this now?
90
00:03:21,261 --> 00:03:22,261
Yeah!
91
00:03:22,345 --> 00:03:24,345
Thank you, Tiffany,
92
00:03:24,428 --> 00:03:25,638
and thank you, Dawn,
93
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:27,300
for hosting
this rehearsal dinner.
94
00:03:27,387 --> 00:03:28,427
Let me tell you something.
95
00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:29,682
I am not afraid of love, Dawn.
96
00:03:29,762 --> 00:03:30,802
- Mm.
- I'm not.
97
00:03:30,887 --> 00:03:32,177
In fact, I was gonna do
98
00:03:32,261 --> 00:03:33,641
this whole fucking thing
with you.
99
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:34,680
W-what? What?
100
00:03:34,762 --> 00:03:35,802
What's that supposed to mean?
101
00:03:35,887 --> 00:03:37,547
I was gonna propose, okay?
102
00:03:37,637 --> 00:03:38,927
Bullshit.
103
00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,051
I--I had the goddamn ring
104
00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:42,006
and everything, Dawn.
105
00:03:42,095 --> 00:03:43,505
- Oh, yeah? Okay, yeah?
- Okay, yeah.
106
00:03:43,595 --> 00:03:45,425
- I was gonna do all of it.
- All right, when?
107
00:03:46,303 --> 00:03:48,143
That night we went
horseback riding upstate.
108
00:03:48,220 --> 00:03:50,470
We never went
horseback riding upstate.
109
00:03:50,553 --> 00:03:51,893
Exactly.
110
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:53,100
What's that supposed to mean?
111
00:03:53,178 --> 00:03:55,598
Oh, thanks to Maurice
for coming up
112
00:03:55,679 --> 00:03:57,009
with this last-second
113
00:03:57,095 --> 00:03:59,215
wedding venue
for tomorrow after we lost
114
00:03:59,303 --> 00:04:00,933
our spot at the Plaza
115
00:04:01,011 --> 00:04:02,681
during Tiff's and Blair's
brief rumspringa.
116
00:04:02,762 --> 00:04:04,642
Is this--
Is this...
117
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,140
You want me
to sign a prenup?
118
00:04:06,220 --> 00:04:07,050
Okay, calm down.
119
00:04:07,136 --> 00:04:07,926
My daddy will not let me
120
00:04:08,011 --> 00:04:09,261
marry you without it.
121
00:04:09,345 --> 00:04:10,675
He's very protective
over his money.
122
00:04:10,762 --> 00:04:12,262
I mean, who cares, really?
123
00:04:12,345 --> 00:04:14,635
Unless our entire...
124
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,850
11-year relationship
was just a big ruse
125
00:04:16,929 --> 00:04:18,679
for you to get your hands
on Georgina Jeans.
126
00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:22,300
It's insane.
127
00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:23,597
To true love.
128
00:04:23,679 --> 00:04:24,929
- Aww.
- True love.
129
00:04:27,428 --> 00:04:30,098
♪ "I Think We're Alone Now"
by the Shondells playing ♪
130
00:04:35,136 --> 00:04:39,136
♪ Children behave ♪
131
00:04:39,220 --> 00:04:42,140
♪ That's what they say
when we're together ♪
132
00:04:42,220 --> 00:04:44,640
♪ And watch how you play ♪
133
00:04:46,428 --> 00:04:48,888
♪ They don't understand,
and so ♪
134
00:04:53,887 --> 00:04:55,347
- What are you talking about?
135
00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:57,468
Do you want to?
I mean, if you want to go,
136
00:04:57,553 --> 00:04:59,013
- we can go.
- Okay.
137
00:04:59,095 --> 00:05:00,045
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
138
00:05:00,136 --> 00:05:01,716
Don't forget to pull out, Dawn.
139
00:05:01,804 --> 00:05:03,764
Don't worry, babe.
He's just mad
140
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,635
that I got the girl.
141
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:07,470
You know what they say:
"They don't always leave
142
00:05:07,553 --> 00:05:09,143
with the ones
they came in with."
143
00:05:09,220 --> 00:05:11,140
You know what else they say.
144
00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:13,140
"You'd have to be
one dumb hick fuck
145
00:05:13,220 --> 00:05:14,470
to be messing around
with your girlfriend
146
00:05:14,553 --> 00:05:16,353
when you're about to marry
someone else
147
00:05:16,428 --> 00:05:18,178
in order to pull off
a year-long long con
148
00:05:18,261 --> 00:05:21,141
with 60 mil on the line,
you dumb hick fuck."
149
00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:22,550
You don't hear that one
quite as much.
150
00:05:22,637 --> 00:05:23,757
Different circles.
151
00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:24,715
Apparently.
152
00:05:24,804 --> 00:05:27,264
Hey!
153
00:05:27,345 --> 00:05:28,965
- Hey.
- Hey.
154
00:05:29,053 --> 00:05:30,933
- For you.
- Thank you.
155
00:05:31,011 --> 00:05:32,301
- Yum?
- Ooh, no.
156
00:05:32,387 --> 00:05:33,797
I'm off champagne
since I drove home
157
00:05:33,887 --> 00:05:35,257
from my divorce-iversary
158
00:05:35,345 --> 00:05:37,715
- and hit-and-run'd a...
159
00:05:37,804 --> 00:05:39,354
- ...deer...
- Oh.
160
00:05:39,428 --> 00:05:40,178
Friend of my father's.
161
00:05:42,220 --> 00:05:44,260
Keith, he's telling
a sweet story.
162
00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:46,465
Sorry, asthma.
My whole life.
163
00:05:46,553 --> 00:05:48,143
Probably wondering,
"Hey, why haven't I ever
164
00:05:48,220 --> 00:05:49,470
heard about that?"
Well, it's, uh--
165
00:05:49,553 --> 00:05:51,013
it's a good story
and a long one, so buckle up--
166
00:05:51,095 --> 00:05:52,345
Nobody gives a shit, Keith.
167
00:05:52,428 --> 00:05:53,968
- At all.
- seconded.
168
00:05:54,053 --> 00:05:54,933
Okay, champagne
169
00:05:55,011 --> 00:05:56,431
for a sham marriage.
170
00:05:56,512 --> 00:05:57,602
To the Georgina--
171
00:05:58,845 --> 00:06:00,635
Georgina play...
172
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,010
Uh, well, I'd like to, uh--
173
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,425
to thank all of my groomsmen
174
00:06:03,512 --> 00:06:06,222
- with a little something...
- Mm.
175
00:06:06,303 --> 00:06:08,763
Inspired by the man
who brought us all together.
176
00:06:08,845 --> 00:06:10,385
For you
177
00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:12,930
- And for the grooms-lady.
- Yes.
178
00:06:13,011 --> 00:06:14,051
You said all your groomsmen.
You ain't got
179
00:06:14,136 --> 00:06:15,006
nothing for old Mo?
180
00:06:15,095 --> 00:06:16,425
You already have one.
181
00:06:16,512 --> 00:06:17,432
- Oh, my God!
- Holy shit!
182
00:06:17,512 --> 00:06:19,642
It's Mo's lucky watch!
183
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,050
- No.
- This is his exact watch.
184
00:06:22,136 --> 00:06:23,596
This is not
my goddamn watch.
185
00:06:23,679 --> 00:06:26,469
You cannot buy my watch.
My watch is custom-made.
186
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,723
Yeah, as are
these very detailed replicas,
187
00:06:28,804 --> 00:06:31,304
which I call Mo-lexes.
188
00:06:31,387 --> 00:06:32,297
- Mo-lex?
- Yeah, just
189
00:06:32,387 --> 00:06:33,797
a little something
190
00:06:33,887 --> 00:06:35,137
to remind us
of the greatest lesson
191
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:37,800
we've all learned from you, Mo.
192
00:06:37,887 --> 00:06:38,967
Fuck 'em all.
193
00:06:39,053 --> 00:06:40,433
Fuck 'em all.
194
00:06:40,512 --> 00:06:42,182
Fuck 'em all!
195
00:06:42,261 --> 00:06:44,181
Thank you.
196
00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:46,970
Well, all right,
197
00:06:47,053 --> 00:06:48,223
my little crime lords
198
00:06:48,303 --> 00:06:49,853
and Traci Lords.
199
00:06:49,929 --> 00:06:51,469
Let's get those shares
that you parked--
200
00:06:53,387 --> 00:06:54,547
Jesus, take it outside, Keith,
201
00:06:54,637 --> 00:06:56,257
before we all catch bald.
202
00:06:56,345 --> 00:06:57,215
- Eww.
- Oh, Keith, give me
203
00:06:57,303 --> 00:06:58,183
those shares
that you parked.
204
00:07:00,303 --> 00:07:02,933
Dust.
205
00:07:03,011 --> 00:07:05,641
And here are the shares
that I parked with Spencer.
206
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,470
Got 'em in the divorce.
Only cost me our Airplane!
207
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,353
We had a tough time dividing up
our Betamax collection.
208
00:07:10,428 --> 00:07:11,888
- Oh, babe.
- I know.
209
00:07:11,970 --> 00:07:13,600
So including
our shell companies,
210
00:07:13,679 --> 00:07:15,299
we are at 45%.
211
00:07:15,387 --> 00:07:18,047
Six percent more from Tiff
when you guys get hitched,
212
00:07:18,136 --> 00:07:20,846
and we will have a score
that makes Warren Buffet
213
00:07:20,929 --> 00:07:22,259
look like Warren Snack.
214
00:07:23,512 --> 00:07:24,642
That would've landed
215
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:25,550
if he would pronounce his name
216
00:07:25,637 --> 00:07:27,347
"buffet" like a real man.
217
00:07:27,428 --> 00:07:28,218
- No, no, no, babe, it landed.
- You got it?
218
00:07:28,303 --> 00:07:29,853
Yeah, I got it.
219
00:07:29,929 --> 00:07:33,009
So, what's everyone gonna do
with their money?
220
00:07:33,095 --> 00:07:33,925
I'm buying myself
a new Limbo.
221
00:07:34,011 --> 00:07:35,221
Come on, Mo.
222
00:07:35,303 --> 00:07:36,433
I'm also gonna pick up
223
00:07:36,512 --> 00:07:37,642
that red Keith Haring series
224
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:38,890
I've had my eye on for years.
225
00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:40,760
Come on, Mo.
226
00:07:40,845 --> 00:07:43,635
Okay, can we not get distracted
by red Harings and focus?
227
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:44,890
Right now, Blair,
228
00:07:44,970 --> 00:07:45,930
it's on you, baby.
229
00:07:46,011 --> 00:07:48,261
All good in the...
230
00:07:48,345 --> 00:07:51,215
...municipality,
231
00:07:51,303 --> 00:07:52,853
except for, uh, just--
232
00:07:52,929 --> 00:07:55,639
just one--just one tiny,
teeny little thing.
233
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:57,140
Oh, Blair's getting cold feet.
Here we go.
234
00:07:57,220 --> 00:07:59,050
It's not time for cold feet.
235
00:07:59,136 --> 00:08:01,636
It's time for hot feet, like
Downtown Julie Brown-hot feet.
236
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,390
Like, Oh, my God,
what I wouldn't give to take
237
00:08:03,470 --> 00:08:04,550
those little piggies
to market.
238
00:08:04,637 --> 00:08:05,887
Feet meat.
239
00:08:05,970 --> 00:08:07,430
Yeah, Wayne, feet meat.
Yes!
240
00:08:07,512 --> 00:08:09,932
No, no.
241
00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:13,601
No, it's just Tiff's dad
wants me to sign this, like,
242
00:08:13,679 --> 00:08:17,599
just really
silly little...
243
00:08:17,679 --> 00:08:19,219
...prenup thing
before we get married.
244
00:08:19,303 --> 00:08:20,683
Come on, for real, Blair?
245
00:08:20,762 --> 00:08:22,302
Goddamn it.
Do you have
246
00:08:22,387 --> 00:08:23,427
any idea what it's taken
for me
247
00:08:23,512 --> 00:08:24,932
to get where I am?
248
00:08:25,011 --> 00:08:26,471
Any idea?
249
00:08:26,553 --> 00:08:29,763
I have shed blood, sweat,
and tears.
250
00:08:29,845 --> 00:08:33,595
I have unearthed secrets,
got winded and fired.
251
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:34,799
You're just listing bands.
252
00:08:34,887 --> 00:08:36,007
It doesn't fucking matter!
253
00:08:36,095 --> 00:08:37,465
What--here's
what I'm saying.
254
00:08:37,553 --> 00:08:38,603
You want to sit
in the big chair, Blair,
255
00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:39,849
you better bring
a goddamn flashlight,
256
00:08:39,929 --> 00:08:40,849
'cause it gets dark.
257
00:08:40,929 --> 00:08:42,009
This is the Geor-jeana Play,
258
00:08:42,095 --> 00:08:43,345
not the Geor-jyna Play.
259
00:08:43,428 --> 00:08:44,758
You know why I'm saying
Geor-jyna?
260
00:08:44,845 --> 00:08:46,135
When I look down,
does it help you understand
261
00:08:46,220 --> 00:08:47,390
why I'm pronouncing it
"jeye-na"?
262
00:08:47,470 --> 00:08:48,100
Do you know
what I'm saying?
263
00:08:48,178 --> 00:08:49,348
That I have a vagina.
264
00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:50,598
Exactly.
You got some balls?
265
00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:52,139
You go fucking prove it.
266
00:08:52,220 --> 00:08:54,300
Show me!
Go get it!
267
00:08:54,387 --> 00:08:56,137
You go get it, baby!
268
00:08:56,220 --> 00:08:57,350
- Hey, Dawn?
- Yeah.
269
00:08:57,428 --> 00:08:58,388
Goofy and Mickey called.
270
00:08:58,470 --> 00:09:01,220
Fuck you.
271
00:09:01,303 --> 00:09:04,223
♪ percussive music ♪
272
00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:16,510
Ooh, ooh,
273
00:09:16,595 --> 00:09:17,845
ladies, please, please.
274
00:09:17,929 --> 00:09:20,139
I'm just one man.
275
00:09:21,178 --> 00:09:22,548
The fuck is this?
276
00:09:22,637 --> 00:09:24,597
I don't know.
It must be my, uh,
277
00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:25,509
magnetic personality.
278
00:09:25,595 --> 00:09:27,715
You think we're bluffing?
279
00:09:27,804 --> 00:09:30,184
I will go right now
and pull your son
280
00:09:30,261 --> 00:09:32,141
out of whatever class
he's flunking.
281
00:09:32,220 --> 00:09:33,600
And I'll pull your boyfriend
282
00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:35,009
out of whatever ass
he's fucking.
283
00:09:35,095 --> 00:09:36,595
Deb, we talked about this.
284
00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:38,299
Sorry, I thought
you were setting me up.
285
00:09:38,387 --> 00:09:40,257
No.
You're out of chances, Keith.
286
00:09:40,345 --> 00:09:42,005
Get Mo on tape today.
287
00:09:42,095 --> 00:09:43,175
Okay, he's gonna figure out
288
00:09:43,261 --> 00:09:44,761
I'm wearing a fucking wire.
289
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:47,255
I look like Teddy Ruxpeen
down there.
290
00:09:47,345 --> 00:09:49,465
Well, you better try, because
we're gonna have eyes on you
291
00:09:49,553 --> 00:09:51,183
all day
and your stupid fucking peen.
292
00:09:51,261 --> 00:09:52,391
Now, if you'll excuse us,
293
00:09:52,470 --> 00:09:53,970
we gotta get back
to the kitchen.
294
00:09:54,053 --> 00:09:55,263
The lobster is not gonna
bisque itself,
295
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:58,095
and Todd is riding my hide.
296
00:09:58,178 --> 00:09:59,718
Who's Todd?
297
00:09:59,804 --> 00:10:02,054
Our cater captain.
298
00:10:02,136 --> 00:10:03,296
I know they say
299
00:10:03,387 --> 00:10:04,637
silicone's bad for you,
300
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,800
but these saltwater jugs
are sloshing around
301
00:10:06,887 --> 00:10:08,427
like my driver's ed teacher's
water bed.
302
00:10:08,512 --> 00:10:09,472
- Oh, I'm jealous.
- RIP.
303
00:10:09,553 --> 00:10:11,053
Can you just stuff them in?
304
00:10:11,136 --> 00:10:12,636
- We gotta jet.
- Okay, okay, okay.
305
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:13,970
- Uh, Tiff?
306
00:10:14,053 --> 00:10:15,473
Blair!
Oh, my God, you can't see
307
00:10:15,553 --> 00:10:16,803
my dress
before the ceremony!
308
00:10:16,887 --> 00:10:18,597
My eyes are closed.
I just--
309
00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:19,389
I need to talk to you.
It's important. Ladies,
310
00:10:19,470 --> 00:10:20,850
can you give us the room?
311
00:10:20,929 --> 00:10:22,549
We'll meet you
in the horse-drawn carriage.
312
00:10:22,637 --> 00:10:24,097
- Okay.
- Ooh, shotgun.
313
00:10:24,178 --> 00:10:24,888
On the horse?
314
00:10:24,970 --> 00:10:26,760
Jesus.
Oh, sorry.
315
00:10:26,845 --> 00:10:28,465
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
316
00:10:28,553 --> 00:10:30,433
- Hello?
317
00:10:30,512 --> 00:10:31,512
Oh, god, did somebody else
come in the room now?
318
00:10:31,595 --> 00:10:32,845
No, I mean hello
319
00:10:32,929 --> 00:10:33,969
as in "talk, monkey."
320
00:10:34,053 --> 00:10:35,223
I will provide
321
00:10:35,303 --> 00:10:36,723
visual context as necessary.
Go.
322
00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:38,264
So...
323
00:10:38,345 --> 00:10:41,045
the real reason that...
324
00:10:41,136 --> 00:10:43,546
Mo hired me
after no one else would
325
00:10:43,637 --> 00:10:47,467
is because he is the reason
no one else would.
326
00:10:47,553 --> 00:10:49,893
He tricked me
into working for him
327
00:10:49,970 --> 00:10:52,550
so he could take over
your dad's company.
328
00:10:52,637 --> 00:10:54,507
I didn't know about it, but--
329
00:10:54,595 --> 00:10:58,095
but I do now, and...
330
00:10:58,178 --> 00:11:00,048
I don't know, Tiff.
I think maybe we should do it--
331
00:11:00,136 --> 00:11:01,546
Ow!
God.
332
00:11:01,637 --> 00:11:03,137
Even with my eyes closed,
333
00:11:03,220 --> 00:11:04,350
I should've seen that coming.
334
00:11:04,428 --> 00:11:06,048
Are you insane?
335
00:11:06,136 --> 00:11:08,886
How could you do this
to me, and my dad--
336
00:11:08,970 --> 00:11:10,220
he has treated you
like a son.
337
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:11,683
Sure, in the way
338
00:11:11,762 --> 00:11:13,892
that dads are super cold
to their sons
339
00:11:13,970 --> 00:11:15,930
to try to get them to stop
acting like such pussies,
340
00:11:16,011 --> 00:11:18,261
but still, how could you
betray my family?
341
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,845
Tiff, they betrayed you!
They're the ones
342
00:11:20,929 --> 00:11:22,009
who were behind
your kidnapping!
343
00:11:22,095 --> 00:11:23,385
Okay, what?
344
00:11:23,470 --> 00:11:24,550
Uh, y--think about it.
345
00:11:24,637 --> 00:11:25,847
Georgina has been losing money
346
00:11:25,929 --> 00:11:27,599
for years, and since
you got snatched,
347
00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:31,139
sales have quadrupled,
348
00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:32,600
and...
349
00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:34,889
And I found
the magazines
350
00:11:34,970 --> 00:11:36,640
they cut the letters out of
for the ransom note.
351
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:38,100
♪ somber music ♪
352
00:11:38,178 --> 00:11:40,888
I'm--I'm really sorry.
353
00:11:45,804 --> 00:11:48,184
I mean, I-I...
354
00:11:48,261 --> 00:11:50,181
They have been talking
a lot lately
355
00:11:50,261 --> 00:11:51,761
about a game-changer,
356
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:53,175
like Calvin Klein's
Brooke Shields
357
00:11:53,261 --> 00:11:55,221
child porn campaign.
358
00:11:55,303 --> 00:11:56,643
Oh, my God.
359
00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:58,680
- Tiff, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, no.
360
00:11:58,762 --> 00:12:00,142
- Jesus.
- Okay, let's just open--
361
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,510
- open your eyes.
- Okay.
362
00:12:02,595 --> 00:12:04,005
You look really beautiful.
363
00:12:05,053 --> 00:12:06,763
Thank you.
364
00:12:08,970 --> 00:12:11,470
I really want to cry,
but my makeup artist Karina
365
00:12:11,553 --> 00:12:13,103
charges by the lash.
366
00:12:13,178 --> 00:12:14,968
What the hell?
367
00:12:15,053 --> 00:12:17,473
Pretty sure this wedding's
fucked anyways.
368
00:12:17,553 --> 00:12:19,723
I'm sorry.
369
00:12:19,804 --> 00:12:22,684
At least maybe some good
can come out of this now.
370
00:12:22,762 --> 00:12:23,722
What?
371
00:12:24,804 --> 00:12:26,394
Money.
372
00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:27,430
A lot of money.
373
00:12:28,845 --> 00:12:30,715
And to be honest, I--
374
00:12:30,804 --> 00:12:32,144
I think this wedding
has been fucked
375
00:12:32,220 --> 00:12:33,550
for a long time.
376
00:12:35,387 --> 00:12:38,097
There's...one more thing
377
00:12:38,178 --> 00:12:39,798
I have to tell you.
378
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:44,850
What the fuck
is taking them so long?
379
00:12:44,929 --> 00:12:47,009
Pssh, whatever it is,
it's on you.
380
00:12:47,095 --> 00:12:48,925
On me?
How is it on me?
381
00:12:49,011 --> 00:12:51,011
- This is your plan.
- My plan?
382
00:12:51,095 --> 00:12:53,295
My plan did not involve you
fucking him.
383
00:12:53,387 --> 00:12:55,547
What happened to your
"I don't date coworkers" thing?
384
00:12:55,637 --> 00:12:56,887
Went right out the window,
right?
385
00:12:56,970 --> 00:12:58,180
Thank God I didn't
386
00:12:58,261 --> 00:12:59,721
propose to you,
you flip-flopper.
387
00:12:59,804 --> 00:13:01,354
You're really sticking
with this whole
388
00:13:01,428 --> 00:13:03,468
imaginary horseback proposal,
aren't you?
389
00:13:03,553 --> 00:13:05,683
Never even been on a horse,
390
00:13:05,762 --> 00:13:08,262
unless you count that tight end
from the Colts,
391
00:13:08,345 --> 00:13:10,255
or that wide receiver
from the Broncos,
392
00:13:10,345 --> 00:13:11,795
and then there was
393
00:13:11,887 --> 00:13:13,007
that quarterback
from the Raiders.
394
00:13:13,095 --> 00:13:14,755
A raider is not
a type of horse.
395
00:13:14,845 --> 00:13:16,255
This one was.
396
00:13:16,345 --> 00:13:17,635
You know what?
You're right.
397
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:19,600
We never had
the horseback ride.
398
00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:22,009
You know why?
Because we broke up.
399
00:13:22,095 --> 00:13:23,545
You remember
400
00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:24,597
when we were at my lake house,
401
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,049
and you said you wanted to go
402
00:13:26,136 --> 00:13:27,676
buy that little antique ring
that you saw
403
00:13:27,762 --> 00:13:29,432
the day before,
and I said, "Don't do it, Dawn.
404
00:13:29,512 --> 00:13:31,052
You can't really afford it
on your salary"?
405
00:13:31,136 --> 00:13:33,426
Then we had the whole
"make me a partner dance"
406
00:13:33,512 --> 00:13:35,852
that was all the rage for us--
literally.
407
00:13:35,929 --> 00:13:37,049
Well, the reason I made
the comment
408
00:13:37,136 --> 00:13:39,296
was because I went out
and bought that ring
409
00:13:39,387 --> 00:13:41,047
the night before
when you were asleep
410
00:13:41,136 --> 00:13:42,596
so that I could surprise you
411
00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:44,389
on the horseback ride
412
00:13:44,470 --> 00:13:46,220
that I had to cancel
413
00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:48,433
'cause you stormed out.
414
00:13:48,512 --> 00:13:50,352
That's the fucking truth.
415
00:13:54,220 --> 00:13:55,430
Bullshit.
416
00:13:55,512 --> 00:13:57,512
Marquis cut,
417
00:13:57,595 --> 00:13:59,635
pavé band,
more baguettes
418
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,890
than Gerard Depardieu's colon.
419
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,762
Wow.
420
00:14:07,845 --> 00:14:09,505
I should've known.
421
00:14:09,595 --> 00:14:12,505
Maybe I sort of did.
422
00:14:12,595 --> 00:14:14,845
It all makes
so much sense now.
423
00:14:16,178 --> 00:14:18,428
I'm so sorry,
424
00:14:18,512 --> 00:14:21,142
and if--if you wanna
425
00:14:21,220 --> 00:14:24,140
call off the wedding,
I--I don't blame you.
426
00:14:24,220 --> 00:14:27,100
The only marriage I want to end
is mine with my parents.
427
00:14:27,178 --> 00:14:29,678
I tried to get emancipated
from them in sixth grade
428
00:14:29,762 --> 00:14:31,552
because they wouldn't let me
shave my legs,
429
00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:33,507
and we settled on
a cartilage pierce
430
00:14:33,595 --> 00:14:35,465
and another credit card.
431
00:14:35,553 --> 00:14:38,853
It's time.
432
00:14:38,929 --> 00:14:41,259
Blair, you are
the smartest person
433
00:14:41,345 --> 00:14:42,845
I've ever known,
434
00:14:42,929 --> 00:14:44,679
and my private school
had Orientals.
435
00:14:44,762 --> 00:14:46,972
♪ somber music ♪
436
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,683
I want in.
437
00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:50,262
You do?
438
00:14:50,345 --> 00:14:52,345
I do.
439
00:14:59,261 --> 00:15:00,471
Oh!
440
00:15:05,053 --> 00:15:06,473
- Yeah.
- Yes!
441
00:15:06,553 --> 00:15:07,433
All right!
442
00:15:10,053 --> 00:15:11,393
Ladies and gentlemen,
443
00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:13,300
presenting
for the very first time,
444
00:15:13,387 --> 00:15:16,387
Mr. and Mrs. Georgina!
445
00:15:16,470 --> 00:15:19,550
I know this is a sham wedding,
but I can't believe
446
00:15:19,637 --> 00:15:21,597
you made me take
your last name.
447
00:15:21,679 --> 00:15:23,179
Tiff Pfaff?
Thoundth like I have
448
00:15:23,261 --> 00:15:24,721
a thpeeth impediment.
449
00:15:24,804 --> 00:15:25,724
Why don't we
clear some space...
450
00:15:25,804 --> 00:15:27,264
so Blair and Tiff...
451
00:15:27,345 --> 00:15:28,965
Are you sure you
want to do this?
452
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:30,643
...can have their
very first dance.
453
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,010
I know this is
a sham wedding,
454
00:15:32,095 --> 00:15:33,095
but I have been dreaming
about this day
455
00:15:33,178 --> 00:15:36,388
since I was a little girl,
so please,
456
00:15:36,470 --> 00:15:40,350
just give me this.
457
00:15:40,428 --> 00:15:42,138
Okay.
458
00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:43,970
Thank you.
459
00:16:02,845 --> 00:16:04,635
Are they dancing
to the national anthem?
460
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,100
Oh, yeah.
Tiff's a huge Republican.
461
00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:55,637
Do Republicans hate America?
'Cause this is, like,
462
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,640
a dance version
of burning the flag.
463
00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,470
Wildly disrespectful.
464
00:16:59,553 --> 00:17:01,603
Yeah.
465
00:17:01,679 --> 00:17:05,429
Excuse me.
466
00:17:05,512 --> 00:17:08,472
♪ "The Star-Spangled Banner"
played traditionally ♪
467
00:17:37,804 --> 00:17:38,684
Hey!
468
00:17:38,762 --> 00:17:39,852
You better slow down
469
00:17:39,929 --> 00:17:41,719
and focus on getting
tape on Mo.
470
00:17:41,804 --> 00:17:42,894
Guys, guys, look.
471
00:17:42,970 --> 00:17:44,890
Maybe we should,
I don't know,
472
00:17:44,970 --> 00:17:47,300
give this whole blackmail thing
a second look, right?
473
00:17:47,387 --> 00:17:48,637
- Get to fucking work, Keith.
- Yeah!
474
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:49,680
Fine.
475
00:17:49,762 --> 00:17:51,012
Bus these.
476
00:17:51,095 --> 00:17:51,845
Fuck you.
477
00:17:51,929 --> 00:17:52,889
Stay in character.
478
00:17:52,970 --> 00:17:54,010
He's right.
479
00:17:54,095 --> 00:17:55,925
What?
No, Deb--Deb!
480
00:17:58,595 --> 00:17:59,755
Hey.
481
00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:02,045
How'd it go?
You get it done?
482
00:18:02,136 --> 00:18:03,676
- Blair?
- Yeah.
483
00:18:03,762 --> 00:18:04,892
- No prenup.
484
00:18:04,970 --> 00:18:06,350
Oh, my God.
485
00:18:06,428 --> 00:18:08,348
Congrats.
486
00:18:08,428 --> 00:18:10,098
I can't fucking believe this.
487
00:18:10,178 --> 00:18:12,178
Jesus Christ.
I just pulled off
488
00:18:12,261 --> 00:18:14,431
the greatest trade
in the history of Wall Street.
489
00:18:14,512 --> 00:18:15,852
We.
490
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:17,299
We.
You're right, you're right.
491
00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:18,927
We.
Ah.
492
00:18:19,011 --> 00:18:20,971
Hey, you know what?
Let's bury the hatchet.
493
00:18:21,053 --> 00:18:22,353
Come on, toast.
Toast.
494
00:18:22,428 --> 00:18:23,848
I don't feel
like toasting, Mo.
495
00:18:23,929 --> 00:18:26,759
Blair, come on.
496
00:18:26,845 --> 00:18:28,795
Look, I know it stings
a little bit right now, kid.
497
00:18:28,887 --> 00:18:30,887
You feel like
you're losing your values
498
00:18:30,970 --> 00:18:33,680
or whatever, but you know
what never loses its value?
499
00:18:33,762 --> 00:18:35,552
The Jasper John
I'm gonna buy.
500
00:18:35,637 --> 00:18:37,097
That's a toilet
completely muralized
501
00:18:37,178 --> 00:18:38,298
by Jasper Johns.
I'm gonna stick it
502
00:18:38,387 --> 00:18:40,177
in my Basqui-yacht,
503
00:18:40,261 --> 00:18:41,551
which is a yacht completely
muralized by Basquiat.
504
00:18:41,637 --> 00:18:44,297
Shut the fuck up.
505
00:18:44,387 --> 00:18:46,597
You know, the saying's not
"An endless stream
506
00:18:46,679 --> 00:18:47,889
of bullshit and bad puns
507
00:18:47,970 --> 00:18:49,100
is the soul of wit," right?
508
00:18:50,553 --> 00:18:53,013
But I am the soul...
man of wit.
509
00:18:53,095 --> 00:18:55,045
- Mm.
- Okay, fuck it, Blair,
510
00:18:55,136 --> 00:18:56,176
all right?
You don't want to be my friend,
511
00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:58,221
don't be my friend.
Who cares?
512
00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:00,853
But I want that six percent
before the bell tomorrow.
513
00:19:00,929 --> 00:19:02,139
Oh, oh.
514
00:19:02,220 --> 00:19:04,350
About that,
515
00:19:04,428 --> 00:19:05,928
I have terms.
516
00:19:06,011 --> 00:19:08,551
Excuse me?
517
00:19:08,637 --> 00:19:10,347
If we pull this off,
The Jammer Group goes
518
00:19:10,428 --> 00:19:13,258
from being the fucking Yankees
to the Mets overnight.
519
00:19:13,345 --> 00:19:14,755
You're gonna be offered
every sweet-ass deal
520
00:19:14,845 --> 00:19:15,965
on the street,
and I want my piece.
521
00:19:16,053 --> 00:19:17,763
We have a deal, Blair.
522
00:19:17,845 --> 00:19:20,675
No, we had a deal.
523
00:19:20,762 --> 00:19:24,602
You say I'm like a son to you,
right?
524
00:19:24,679 --> 00:19:26,639
So I think it's time
you make me part of the family.
525
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:28,850
How about six percent
of Georgina
526
00:19:28,929 --> 00:19:30,549
for six percent
of The Jammer Group?
527
00:19:33,387 --> 00:19:35,797
How about six percent
of kissing my ass?
528
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:39,550
You know, I went
to Berger's Burgers
529
00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,717
the other night,
530
00:19:41,804 --> 00:19:43,184
and they have a sign there
that says
531
00:19:43,261 --> 00:19:46,601
they've only been open
for two years.
532
00:19:46,679 --> 00:19:48,179
So I did a little research,
533
00:19:48,261 --> 00:19:50,221
and there's no record
of an orphanage
534
00:19:50,303 --> 00:19:54,603
in that area anywhere.
535
00:19:54,679 --> 00:19:57,009
So I did
a little more research
536
00:19:57,095 --> 00:19:58,385
and found there's no record
537
00:19:58,470 --> 00:20:01,220
of a Maurice Monroe...
538
00:20:01,303 --> 00:20:04,603
anywhere before 1974.
539
00:20:04,679 --> 00:20:06,219
♪ tense synth music ♪
540
00:20:06,303 --> 00:20:08,223
I knew you were full of shit,
541
00:20:08,303 --> 00:20:10,973
but I didn't think
you were all shit.
542
00:20:11,053 --> 00:20:12,973
I wonder what
the SEC would say
543
00:20:13,053 --> 00:20:15,013
if they knew the Exchange
issued a seat
544
00:20:15,095 --> 00:20:17,135
to a man who doesn't exist.
545
00:20:17,220 --> 00:20:20,100
Wow.
You really have crossed
546
00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:22,218
all the way over
to the dark side.
547
00:20:22,303 --> 00:20:25,853
I learned it by watching you,
Dad.
548
00:20:25,929 --> 00:20:29,389
Well, part of me wants
to give you a big old hug.
549
00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:32,260
A bigger part of me wants
to beat the dog shit out of you
550
00:20:32,345 --> 00:20:34,885
in front of all your friends
and fake family.
551
00:20:34,970 --> 00:20:36,760
Take your best shot.
552
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:44,760
Well played.
553
00:20:46,512 --> 00:20:48,892
Tell you what I will do.
554
00:20:48,970 --> 00:20:50,800
I will give you one percent.
555
00:20:50,887 --> 00:20:52,047
- That's it.
556
00:20:52,136 --> 00:20:52,966
That's my best
and final offer.
557
00:20:53,053 --> 00:20:53,933
No, that's--That's cute,
558
00:20:54,011 --> 00:20:55,471
but this isn't
a negotiation.
559
00:20:55,553 --> 00:20:57,433
Now, if you'll excuse me,
560
00:20:57,512 --> 00:21:00,102
I have to go do
the fucking hokey-pokey.
561
00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:03,965
So what's six percent,
562
00:21:04,053 --> 00:21:04,933
hmm?
You gave thirty percent
563
00:21:05,011 --> 00:21:06,471
to the fucking Yakuza.
564
00:21:06,553 --> 00:21:07,553
Let's do a little math, Dawn,
565
00:21:07,637 --> 00:21:08,427
all right?
Excuse me.
566
00:21:08,512 --> 00:21:10,142
Okay, now you have
567
00:21:10,220 --> 00:21:11,350
15 percent.
568
00:21:11,428 --> 00:21:12,678
Now, if you add the 30 percent
569
00:21:12,762 --> 00:21:14,512
that the Yakuza gave
the Leighmans,
570
00:21:14,595 --> 00:21:17,135
and then six percent
I'm supposed to give to Blair,
571
00:21:17,220 --> 00:21:18,430
we add that together.
What is that?
572
00:21:18,512 --> 00:21:20,352
51 percent.
Okay?
573
00:21:20,428 --> 00:21:22,008
That would make me
a minority owner
574
00:21:22,095 --> 00:21:23,295
of The Jammer Group.
Now I'm not gonna lose control
575
00:21:23,387 --> 00:21:24,757
of my own fucking company,
Dawn.
576
00:21:24,845 --> 00:21:26,175
I get it, I get it.
577
00:21:26,261 --> 00:21:28,891
But if, you know, you were to--
578
00:21:28,970 --> 00:21:30,890
you know.
579
00:21:30,970 --> 00:21:33,050
You give a couple points.
580
00:21:33,136 --> 00:21:34,546
Two points, Dawn.
Two fucking points!
581
00:21:34,637 --> 00:21:36,467
Fuck, no! No!
This is how I knew you were
582
00:21:36,553 --> 00:21:37,853
bullshitting about
the whole proposal thing.
583
00:21:37,929 --> 00:21:39,469
- I was--
- You would never be
584
00:21:39,553 --> 00:21:40,763
that thoughtful,
because the only person
585
00:21:40,845 --> 00:21:42,255
you ever think of is yourself.
586
00:21:42,345 --> 00:21:43,595
- All right.
- You're a selfish piece
587
00:21:43,679 --> 00:21:45,349
- of shit, Mo.
- Jesus Christ,
588
00:21:45,428 --> 00:21:46,258
everybody's just coming
with both barrels
589
00:21:46,345 --> 00:21:47,845
at old fucking Mo today, right?
590
00:21:47,929 --> 00:21:50,009
I mean, really?
Give him some of my shares?
591
00:21:50,095 --> 00:21:51,965
The answer is no.
No, "fuck no."
592
00:21:52,053 --> 00:21:53,263
Yeah, okay.
Great.
593
00:21:53,345 --> 00:21:55,345
- Keith, Keith, hey.
- Shit.
594
00:21:55,428 --> 00:21:56,928
I gotta--I gotta talk to you,
okay?
595
00:21:57,011 --> 00:21:58,181
- The Georgina Play...
596
00:21:58,261 --> 00:21:59,471
...Is hitting
a major fucking snag.
597
00:21:59,553 --> 00:22:00,973
Mm-mm, uh, no, I gotta go.
598
00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:01,853
I gotta go.
Yeah, I gotta run.
599
00:22:01,929 --> 00:22:03,139
Okay, fine, let's talk--
600
00:22:03,220 --> 00:22:04,550
No, I mean,
I gotta run--
601
00:22:04,637 --> 00:22:05,967
I got, like, the runs.
The shits. I gotta shit.
602
00:22:06,053 --> 00:22:07,513
Okay, toilet.
Perfect, it's more private.
603
00:22:07,595 --> 00:22:09,045
No, no, no, you don't want
any part of this.
604
00:22:09,136 --> 00:22:10,386
- It's gonna be bad.
- Just crap quiet.
605
00:22:10,470 --> 00:22:11,970
Who gives a shit?
You just gotta listen.
606
00:22:12,053 --> 00:22:13,103
The kid's squeezing me
607
00:22:13,178 --> 00:22:14,178
on the Georgina Play...
608
00:22:15,929 --> 00:22:17,429
...And I gotta admit,
he's got me, man.
609
00:22:17,512 --> 00:22:18,722
If--if I don't give him
what he wants,
610
00:22:18,804 --> 00:22:20,394
he's nuts enough to go
to the Feds,
611
00:22:20,470 --> 00:22:21,050
tell him all the illegal shit
we've done.
612
00:22:21,136 --> 00:22:22,346
Oh! Oh!
613
00:22:22,428 --> 00:22:23,508
Like the Audi Play.
614
00:22:24,637 --> 00:22:25,507
You all right?
615
00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:29,465
- Oh! Oh!
616
00:22:29,553 --> 00:22:31,603
Oh, sorry, man!
Can we talk later?
617
00:22:31,679 --> 00:22:32,799
You know what?
Maybe I should call his bluff,
618
00:22:32,887 --> 00:22:34,797
you know, send the Yakuza
over there
619
00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:36,177
- to beat the shit out of him.
- Oh, Jesus, the pain!
620
00:22:36,261 --> 00:22:37,601
- The pain!
- He's gotta know
621
00:22:37,679 --> 00:22:38,969
he's not dealing
with a businessman
622
00:22:39,053 --> 00:22:39,853
right now, Keith.
He's dealing
623
00:22:39,929 --> 00:22:40,799
with a fucking criminal!
624
00:22:40,887 --> 00:22:42,597
No, no, no, no, no!
625
00:22:42,679 --> 00:22:44,179
No, God, fuck no.
Jesus,
626
00:22:44,261 --> 00:22:45,851
Fuck piss.
Shit no.
627
00:22:45,929 --> 00:22:48,219
I'm gonna give you
a little privacy, all right?
628
00:22:48,303 --> 00:22:49,513
Sounds good man.
Sounds good.
629
00:22:49,595 --> 00:22:53,595
Good plan.
Good talk, all right?
630
00:22:55,345 --> 00:22:57,295
Okay, girl, I don't know why--
you can--oh!
631
00:22:57,387 --> 00:22:59,047
Oh, Mo.
632
00:22:59,136 --> 00:23:01,006
Oh, my gosh, thank you so much
for getting us
633
00:23:01,095 --> 00:23:01,885
the floor.
What a great venue.
634
00:23:01,970 --> 00:23:02,970
Yeah, yeah.
635
00:23:03,053 --> 00:23:04,433
- Congrats.
- Whoa!
636
00:23:04,512 --> 00:23:06,102
Whoa, whoa, hey, let's see
if we can get
637
00:23:06,178 --> 00:23:07,678
a bridesmaid or something
to hold your hair, okay?
638
00:23:07,762 --> 00:23:09,472
'Cause I got some real shit
I gotta deal with right now.
639
00:23:09,553 --> 00:23:11,223
Oh, I'm sorry.
Do you have to go deal
640
00:23:11,303 --> 00:23:12,933
with a deal with my husband?
641
00:23:13,011 --> 00:23:15,601
'Cause shouldn't I
be there too?
642
00:23:15,679 --> 00:23:18,299
I'm in.
We're doing the Me Play.
643
00:23:18,387 --> 00:23:19,847
♪ dramatic music ♪
644
00:23:19,929 --> 00:23:22,429
Wait a minute, what?
645
00:23:22,512 --> 00:23:24,102
Hey, man, it's cool.
646
00:23:24,178 --> 00:23:25,468
It's cool.
I get it.
647
00:23:25,553 --> 00:23:26,933
I mean, this marriage
has always been bullshit
648
00:23:27,011 --> 00:23:29,141
on some level anyway.
649
00:23:29,220 --> 00:23:30,470
Just like theatre camp,
650
00:23:30,553 --> 00:23:32,393
I'm always getting fucked
by gay guys.
651
00:23:33,804 --> 00:23:35,434
Wait a minute, what are you--
652
00:23:35,512 --> 00:23:37,302
Duh.
Blair's gay.
653
00:23:37,387 --> 00:23:39,297
My hubby likes chubby.
Mm.
654
00:23:39,387 --> 00:23:41,847
Gotta go find
the ladies' room.
655
00:23:41,929 --> 00:23:43,179
- That's the men's.
- Oopsies!
656
00:23:49,637 --> 00:23:51,507
- What happened?
- What'd you get?
657
00:23:51,595 --> 00:23:52,425
I'm out.
658
00:23:52,512 --> 00:23:54,472
Fuck you and the SEC.
659
00:23:54,553 --> 00:23:55,853
Do your fucking worst.
660
00:23:55,929 --> 00:23:56,889
AH, fuck!
661
00:23:56,970 --> 00:23:57,970
My bisque!
662
00:23:59,345 --> 00:24:00,755
Have a seat.
We gotta talk.
663
00:24:00,845 --> 00:24:02,925
Oh, Jesus.
664
00:24:03,011 --> 00:24:04,851
Blair's trying to make a move
against both of us.
665
00:24:04,929 --> 00:24:07,549
All right, look, Mo,
I know this wedding's
666
00:24:07,637 --> 00:24:09,547
got your brain cross-wired
and shit,
667
00:24:09,637 --> 00:24:11,507
but honestly, these--
these mind games
668
00:24:11,595 --> 00:24:13,095
that you're pulling--it's--
it's getting sad.
669
00:24:13,178 --> 00:24:15,388
Listen, I just bumped
into Tiff, all right?
670
00:24:15,470 --> 00:24:17,430
Now, she's pretty plastered,
but she still managed
671
00:24:17,512 --> 00:24:19,512
to drop a couple bombshells,
like one,
672
00:24:19,595 --> 00:24:21,675
she knows about, and is in on
the Georgina Play,
673
00:24:21,762 --> 00:24:24,222
because two, her marriage
is a fraud,
674
00:24:24,303 --> 00:24:26,143
because three, Blair is gay.
675
00:24:26,220 --> 00:24:27,470
Oh, come on!
676
00:24:27,553 --> 00:24:28,683
Whoo!
I'm back.
677
00:24:28,762 --> 00:24:29,642
Keith!
678
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,050
Sorry I was acting weird,
679
00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:32,216
but now I'm ready to talk about
680
00:24:32,303 --> 00:24:33,933
illegal shit,
Georgina shit...
681
00:24:34,011 --> 00:24:36,221
Wanna commit a murder?
Let's do it. I'm in. Let's go.
682
00:24:36,303 --> 00:24:37,893
Keith,
can you give us a sec?
683
00:24:37,970 --> 00:24:40,390
Your boy Mo here is jealous,
as usual,
684
00:24:40,470 --> 00:24:42,600
and now he's trying
to convince me
685
00:24:42,679 --> 00:24:45,969
that Blair is
a gay criminal mastermind.
686
00:24:46,053 --> 00:24:47,473
Yeah, of course Blair's gay.
I thought everyone knew that.
687
00:24:47,553 --> 00:24:48,893
Wait, how the fuck
do you know?
688
00:24:48,970 --> 00:24:50,140
How the fuck does he know?
689
00:24:50,220 --> 00:24:51,140
I-I-I don't know.
I'm just saying,
690
00:24:51,220 --> 00:24:52,550
maybe, like, Mo and I--
691
00:24:52,637 --> 00:24:54,757
we have just better gay radar
than you.
692
00:24:54,845 --> 00:24:56,295
It's--I wish there was
an easier way to say that,
693
00:24:56,387 --> 00:24:57,467
like a sniglet.
694
00:24:57,553 --> 00:24:58,473
What the fuck he just say?
695
00:24:58,553 --> 00:24:59,473
Yeah, it is a little clunky.
696
00:24:59,553 --> 00:25:00,393
Oh, got it.
697
00:25:00,470 --> 00:25:02,100
Navi-gay-tion.
698
00:25:02,178 --> 00:25:03,718
Holy shit!
699
00:25:03,804 --> 00:25:05,604
I'm back, baby!
I gotta do some coke.
700
00:25:06,845 --> 00:25:08,255
Okay, Dawn?
701
00:25:08,345 --> 00:25:10,545
I'm sorry.
I'm not bullshitting you.
702
00:25:10,637 --> 00:25:12,677
You're always bullshitting me.
All right, that's it.
703
00:25:12,762 --> 00:25:13,682
Wait a second.
704
00:25:19,095 --> 00:25:22,045
♪ somber music ♪
705
00:25:24,095 --> 00:25:25,715
Recognize this?
706
00:25:27,095 --> 00:25:27,755
Is that--
707
00:25:27,845 --> 00:25:29,425
Yeah.
708
00:25:29,512 --> 00:25:31,852
I told you, when it comes
to real shit,
709
00:25:31,929 --> 00:25:33,389
I'm as real as it gets.
710
00:25:34,887 --> 00:25:36,347
Now think about it.
Why would he ask
711
00:25:36,428 --> 00:25:38,258
for six percent on the nose?
712
00:25:38,345 --> 00:25:39,505
When five percent gets it done.
713
00:25:39,595 --> 00:25:41,345
It's a done deal.
Six percent,
714
00:25:41,428 --> 00:25:42,178
I'd lose control
of the Jammer Group.
715
00:25:42,261 --> 00:25:43,301
I can't do that.
716
00:25:43,387 --> 00:25:45,547
He knows that.
He's stalling.
717
00:25:45,637 --> 00:25:48,677
'Cause he's trying to run
the Georgina Play for himself.
718
00:25:48,762 --> 00:25:49,932
Exactly.
719
00:25:50,011 --> 00:25:51,601
Fuck!
720
00:25:51,679 --> 00:25:53,719
Oh, God.
W-wait.
721
00:25:53,804 --> 00:25:55,394
Why is he dating me?
722
00:25:55,470 --> 00:25:57,850
Maybe he thought
he could get your shares
723
00:25:57,929 --> 00:25:59,139
or just throw us
off the scent, you know,
724
00:25:59,220 --> 00:26:00,010
try to take our eyes
off the prize.
725
00:26:00,095 --> 00:26:02,135
I don't know.
726
00:26:02,220 --> 00:26:04,350
Damn, damn, damn!
727
00:26:04,428 --> 00:26:07,218
I swear, I am gonna
kill that motherfucker!
728
00:26:07,303 --> 00:26:08,473
Dawn, Dawn, listen.
729
00:26:08,553 --> 00:26:10,513
Now, I know I've been shitty
to you
730
00:26:10,595 --> 00:26:12,345
- in the past...
- Yeah.
731
00:26:12,428 --> 00:26:13,468
...And the recent past...
732
00:26:13,553 --> 00:26:14,973
Yeah.
733
00:26:15,053 --> 00:26:16,803
- ...And this morning.
- Yeah.
734
00:26:16,887 --> 00:26:20,347
But--but it's gotta be
you and me now,
735
00:26:20,428 --> 00:26:22,678
okay?
Together.
736
00:26:22,762 --> 00:26:25,012
Partners.
737
00:26:30,345 --> 00:26:33,215
Partners.
738
00:26:33,303 --> 00:26:35,433
So what do we do now?
739
00:26:36,887 --> 00:26:39,507
Well...
740
00:26:39,595 --> 00:26:41,925
...now we give him
exactly what he wants.
741
00:26:43,970 --> 00:26:47,350
Well, all things considered,
it was a decent wedding.
742
00:26:47,428 --> 00:26:49,428
It was a great wedding.
743
00:26:49,512 --> 00:26:51,392
- Oh, hey.
744
00:26:51,470 --> 00:26:53,180
So in the end, this earring
745
00:26:53,261 --> 00:26:55,221
tie pin thingy--
746
00:26:55,303 --> 00:26:58,473
it actually was
kind of lucky, huh?
747
00:26:58,553 --> 00:27:00,053
Hm.
748
00:27:00,136 --> 00:27:02,596
I want you to have
the other one
749
00:27:02,679 --> 00:27:04,299
to remember me by.
750
00:27:04,387 --> 00:27:06,547
To remember you by.
751
00:27:06,637 --> 00:27:08,137
How could I forget you?
752
00:27:10,053 --> 00:27:12,433
You're my first,
753
00:27:12,512 --> 00:27:15,642
and my wife.
754
00:27:17,512 --> 00:27:19,142
I-I'm...
755
00:27:21,470 --> 00:27:23,800
I'm really sorry, Tiff.
756
00:27:23,887 --> 00:27:26,967
It's okay.
757
00:27:27,053 --> 00:27:28,053
I'm a lot.
758
00:27:29,553 --> 00:27:31,643
I am, and it's--
759
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:33,300
Look, it's--
760
00:27:33,387 --> 00:27:35,717
it's okay to be confused.
761
00:27:35,804 --> 00:27:37,894
I mean, not everyone can be
as sure of themselves as I am.
762
00:27:42,136 --> 00:27:45,676
I do love you.
763
00:27:45,762 --> 00:27:47,852
I love you, too.
764
00:27:52,387 --> 00:27:53,677
To the Georgina Play.
765
00:27:53,762 --> 00:27:55,052
♪ percussive music ♪
766
00:27:55,136 --> 00:27:56,466
To the Georgina Play.
767
00:27:57,762 --> 00:27:59,142
To the Georgina Play.
768
00:28:01,178 --> 00:28:02,678
Oh, I need
769
00:28:02,762 --> 00:28:03,932
- to say it, too?
- Well, I mean--
770
00:28:04,011 --> 00:28:05,051
I thought it was implied.
771
00:28:05,136 --> 00:28:07,006
To the Georgina Play.
772
00:28:08,553 --> 00:28:11,473
♪ ominous synth music ♪
49747
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
