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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,387 --> 00:00:03,257 ♪ light synth music ♪ 2 00:00:03,345 --> 00:00:05,505 ♪ singers harmonizing ♪ 3 00:00:05,595 --> 00:00:07,045 ♪ It's Showtime tonight ♪ 4 00:00:07,136 --> 00:00:09,256 Previously on Black Monday... 5 00:00:09,345 --> 00:00:10,635 Dawn, I'm really confused right now. 6 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,470 I want a divorce. 7 00:00:12,553 --> 00:00:14,303 I'm distracted. I keep losing focus over Dawn. 8 00:00:14,387 --> 00:00:16,137 Love. 9 00:00:16,220 --> 00:00:17,930 I thought you learned your lesson after Connie. 10 00:00:18,011 --> 00:00:19,601 I can't marry Tiff. 11 00:00:19,679 --> 00:00:21,139 Of course you're gonna marry Tiff. 12 00:00:21,220 --> 00:00:22,550 Why are you so invested in my relationship? 13 00:00:22,637 --> 00:00:24,297 Because I am literally invested. 14 00:00:24,387 --> 00:00:27,177 Let's run the Georgina play. Me and you. 15 00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:29,051 Fuck you. I'm gonna tell Tiff everything. 16 00:00:29,136 --> 00:00:31,346 - Tiff! 17 00:00:31,428 --> 00:00:34,388 ♪ smooth music ♪ 18 00:00:47,428 --> 00:00:49,138 Let's go, brother! 19 00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:52,140 ♪ I don't care about money too much ♪ 20 00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:55,140 ♪ Tens, twenty dollar bills and such ♪ 21 00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:56,550 ♪ I don't have a dollar to my name ♪ 22 00:00:56,637 --> 00:00:58,757 Hey, Roland. 23 00:00:58,845 --> 00:01:00,505 ♪ And if you don't mind I'd like to stay the same ♪ 24 00:01:00,595 --> 00:01:02,005 - Roland! - Roland! 25 00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:04,005 - Hey, Roland! - Hey, Roland! 26 00:01:04,095 --> 00:01:06,215 ♪ I just don't worry about nothing, no ♪ 27 00:01:06,303 --> 00:01:09,393 ♪ I just don't worry ♪ 28 00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:11,720 ♪ I just don't worry about a doggone thing ♪ 29 00:01:11,804 --> 00:01:13,434 ♪ No, no, no... ♪ 30 00:01:13,512 --> 00:01:14,932 What's good, Roland? 31 00:01:15,011 --> 00:01:16,851 ♪ All right now ♪ 32 00:01:19,220 --> 00:01:22,050 ♪ I don't have me no car ♪ 33 00:01:22,136 --> 00:01:25,546 ♪ But you can bet I can get pretty far ♪ 34 00:01:25,637 --> 00:01:28,007 Hey, Roland. 35 00:01:28,095 --> 00:01:31,005 ♪ I don't like to stay in any one town ♪ 36 00:01:31,095 --> 00:01:33,005 ♪ Don't worry ♪ 37 00:01:33,095 --> 00:01:36,175 ♪ No, I just don't worry about nothing, no ♪ 38 00:01:36,261 --> 00:01:39,181 ♪ Don't worry ♪ 39 00:01:39,261 --> 00:01:41,761 ♪ I just don't worry about a doggone thing ♪ 40 00:01:41,845 --> 00:01:44,595 ♪ No, no, no ♪ 41 00:01:44,679 --> 00:01:45,759 ♪ Unh ♪ 42 00:01:47,303 --> 00:01:48,683 Dawn? 43 00:01:48,762 --> 00:01:50,852 You better stop banging on my door 44 00:01:50,929 --> 00:01:54,179 and knock like you got some sense. 45 00:01:58,345 --> 00:02:00,005 What? 46 00:02:00,095 --> 00:02:02,595 Dawn, you're never gonna believe what happened. 47 00:02:02,679 --> 00:02:04,219 - Tiff-- - Tiffany Georgina, 48 00:02:04,303 --> 00:02:06,513 Manhattan socialite and heiress 49 00:02:06,595 --> 00:02:09,345 to the Georgina denim fortune, has been kidnapped 50 00:02:09,428 --> 00:02:10,968 - and held for ransom... - Oh, my god. 51 00:02:11,053 --> 00:02:12,643 And Princess Diana shakes hands 52 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:15,470 with an AIDS patient without a glove. 53 00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:17,763 - Blair, what's gonna happen? - More at 11:00. 54 00:02:17,845 --> 00:02:19,095 She's probably gonna die. 55 00:02:19,178 --> 00:02:20,638 Oh, don't say that. 56 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:21,930 Okay, maybe--maybe 57 00:02:22,011 --> 00:02:23,351 if the Georginas pay the ransom-- 58 00:02:23,428 --> 00:02:25,298 No, I was talking about Princess Diana. 59 00:02:25,387 --> 00:02:26,927 I don't know what's gonna happen with Tiff. 60 00:02:27,011 --> 00:02:29,551 The police have no leads and-- 61 00:02:29,637 --> 00:02:32,637 I hate to ask this, Dawn, but could Mo have done this? 62 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:35,180 What? No! No. 63 00:02:35,261 --> 00:02:36,851 No! Mo--Mo is crazy, 64 00:02:36,929 --> 00:02:38,429 but what would make you think 65 00:02:38,512 --> 00:02:39,892 he would kidnap a person? 66 00:02:39,970 --> 00:02:41,350 He kidnapped me yesterday! 67 00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:43,508 Fair, but that was for fun. 68 00:02:43,595 --> 00:02:45,925 I mean, they don't call it "kidding-napping" for n-- 69 00:02:46,011 --> 00:02:49,851 Nobody calls it kidding-napping, and... 70 00:02:49,929 --> 00:02:51,889 he told me about the Georgina play, Dawn. 71 00:02:51,970 --> 00:02:54,350 The what now? 72 00:02:54,428 --> 00:02:56,258 The Georgina play. 73 00:03:04,428 --> 00:03:06,258 Oh, thank God, I knew you wouldn't know anything. 74 00:03:06,345 --> 00:03:08,925 - Mm-mm. - Is Spencer here? 75 00:03:09,011 --> 00:03:11,851 Oh, well, not since I asked for a divorce last night. 76 00:03:11,929 --> 00:03:14,049 Oh, God, we're really packing it in today. 77 00:03:14,136 --> 00:03:17,176 - Yeah. - Are you okay? 78 00:03:17,261 --> 00:03:20,391 Actually, yeah, I'm really okay. 79 00:03:20,470 --> 00:03:22,510 Okay. 80 00:03:22,595 --> 00:03:25,385 I-I wanna to get into all of this with you, 81 00:03:25,470 --> 00:03:27,260 but Mo has been playing me 82 00:03:27,345 --> 00:03:29,175 all along, Dawn, to take over Georgina. 83 00:03:29,261 --> 00:03:30,551 - Well... - And maybe, 84 00:03:30,637 --> 00:03:32,137 when I said no to joining him, 85 00:03:32,220 --> 00:03:34,100 he took to more drastic measures. 86 00:03:34,178 --> 00:03:35,968 - Mm. - What do tell the police 87 00:03:36,053 --> 00:03:37,683 - when they ask me about him? - Nothing. 88 00:03:37,762 --> 00:03:39,392 I-if I tell them about the play, 89 00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:41,180 the police will think I'm involved, 90 00:03:41,261 --> 00:03:43,011 because who would believe I had no clue for months? 91 00:03:43,095 --> 00:03:44,675 Dawn, I can't go to prison. 92 00:03:44,762 --> 00:03:47,102 Okay, well, then-- 93 00:03:47,178 --> 00:03:49,968 then you have to stall, okay? 94 00:03:50,053 --> 00:03:52,183 Mo didn't do this. 95 00:03:52,261 --> 00:03:54,721 Just--you know they got Calvin Klein's daughter back 96 00:03:54,804 --> 00:03:56,554 in nine hours. 97 00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:59,007 You can stay strong for nine hours, can't you? 98 00:03:59,095 --> 00:04:00,635 ♪ synth music ♪ 99 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,600 - Uh-uh. 100 00:04:02,679 --> 00:04:03,799 Okay, so what's happening, then? 101 00:04:03,887 --> 00:04:05,257 What's happening now? 102 00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:06,845 You know, I--I don't want to marry her, 103 00:04:06,929 --> 00:04:07,849 but that doesn't mean I want her-- 104 00:04:07,929 --> 00:04:11,009 Ripped into chunks. 105 00:04:11,095 --> 00:04:12,505 - No. - Look at me. 106 00:04:12,595 --> 00:04:14,215 She's gonna be okay, all right? 107 00:04:14,303 --> 00:04:16,303 They're gonna find the guys that did this, 108 00:04:16,387 --> 00:04:17,847 and it's not gonna be Mo. 109 00:04:17,929 --> 00:04:19,599 Are you sure? 110 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,548 I'm sure. 111 00:04:23,637 --> 00:04:26,507 A hundred percent. 112 00:04:26,595 --> 00:04:27,715 What'd you do, 113 00:04:27,804 --> 00:04:29,894 you crazy fuck? 114 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,470 Mo? Tiff! 115 00:04:41,136 --> 00:04:44,046 ♪ jaunty music ♪ 116 00:04:51,136 --> 00:04:52,346 Here we go, Black Panther Journal fresh off the press. 117 00:04:52,428 --> 00:04:54,178 My brothers and sisters, we want land. 118 00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:56,051 - Yes. - Brother, we want education. 119 00:04:56,136 --> 00:04:57,006 - We want justice... - That's right. 120 00:04:57,095 --> 00:04:58,845 And we want peace. 121 00:04:58,929 --> 00:05:00,299 Yeah, and a couple cold ones wouldn't hurt either. 122 00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:02,137 - Am I right? - You got that right, bro. 123 00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:03,720 If our oppressors won't listen, 124 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,764 it's time our weapons speak for us. 125 00:05:05,845 --> 00:05:07,215 Weapons? Oh, no. 126 00:05:07,303 --> 00:05:08,973 Me and Herbie too pretty to go to jail. 127 00:05:09,053 --> 00:05:10,513 You seen me, baby? 128 00:05:10,595 --> 00:05:12,215 I ain't just talking the talk. You hear me? 129 00:05:12,303 --> 00:05:15,803 Connie, a word. 130 00:05:15,887 --> 00:05:18,597 I don't know how they do things out in Baltimore, 131 00:05:18,679 --> 00:05:21,049 but out here, when you represent the party, 132 00:05:21,136 --> 00:05:23,966 you do not stoke violence, ever. 133 00:05:24,053 --> 00:05:26,053 I'm sorry. 134 00:05:26,136 --> 00:05:27,636 I'm new. 135 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,720 I'll just stick to spreading the word. 136 00:05:29,804 --> 00:05:31,394 Extra! Extra! 137 00:05:31,470 --> 00:05:33,390 No one gives a shit about black folks! 138 00:05:33,470 --> 00:05:35,140 - How's that? 139 00:05:39,553 --> 00:05:44,013 You need to keep an eye on that one, young blood. 140 00:05:44,095 --> 00:05:46,095 I'm definitely gonna keep an eye on her. 141 00:05:46,970 --> 00:05:48,930 Excuse me, sis. 142 00:05:49,011 --> 00:05:50,431 Uh, my name is Roland, 143 00:05:50,512 --> 00:05:52,142 but they call me Romantic. 144 00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:55,300 Ah, so you the man in charge... of potatoes. 145 00:05:56,887 --> 00:05:58,297 Well, they do say I'm appealing. 146 00:05:58,387 --> 00:05:59,467 That's good. 147 00:05:59,553 --> 00:06:02,353 I'm Connie, and people call me, 148 00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:04,388 but only if they're very lucky. 149 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,854 Power to the people. 150 00:06:12,929 --> 00:06:13,969 Power to the people! 151 00:06:16,303 --> 00:06:19,013 Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. 152 00:06:19,095 --> 00:06:22,135 We're gonna get this note to the precinct. 153 00:06:22,220 --> 00:06:24,800 In the meantime, we're gonna do what they say, 154 00:06:24,887 --> 00:06:26,047 and wait on their call. 155 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:27,886 Oh, I'm scared. 156 00:06:28,011 --> 00:06:30,351 I'm scared, too-- for the kidnappers. 157 00:06:30,428 --> 00:06:32,848 'Cause Tiff is a fighter. 158 00:06:32,929 --> 00:06:35,299 Just ask the last delivery guy who forgot our duck sauce. 159 00:06:35,387 --> 00:06:36,757 Why try humor, Blair? 160 00:06:36,845 --> 00:06:38,135 - You seem nervous. - Me? 161 00:06:38,220 --> 00:06:40,180 No, no. 162 00:06:40,261 --> 00:06:42,801 So your fiancée has been kidnapped, 163 00:06:42,887 --> 00:06:46,887 but here you sit, cool as Ice-T on a summer's day. 164 00:06:46,970 --> 00:06:49,260 I interrogated him last July. Totally unflappable. 165 00:06:49,345 --> 00:06:51,095 Confusing. 166 00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:52,798 Detective, is there something we could be doing? 167 00:06:52,887 --> 00:06:55,137 Uh, uh, flyers, a phone tree? 168 00:06:55,220 --> 00:06:57,140 What's the age cutoff for that milk carton thingy? 169 00:06:57,220 --> 00:06:58,550 None of that stuff works, 170 00:06:58,637 --> 00:07:00,677 but we do. 171 00:07:00,762 --> 00:07:02,932 Besides, seven out of ten times, 172 00:07:03,011 --> 00:07:05,641 it turns out to be the significant other. 173 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,760 You know, it says here you grew up 174 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:12,545 in a trailer that your mom recently had to be cut out of? 175 00:07:12,637 --> 00:07:14,847 She's a bit of a gourmand. 176 00:07:14,929 --> 00:07:16,389 Sounds pricey. 177 00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:17,760 Well, so is the house I bought her, 178 00:07:17,845 --> 00:07:19,425 but I make a lot of money, 179 00:07:19,512 --> 00:07:22,302 and she outgrew the trailer... literally. 180 00:07:22,387 --> 00:07:23,927 Look, if it's not me, which it is not, 181 00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:25,891 then who is it the other three out of ten times? 182 00:07:25,970 --> 00:07:27,300 An enemy. 183 00:07:27,387 --> 00:07:29,757 Someone the family owes money to. 184 00:07:29,845 --> 00:07:31,965 Or it could just be a classic New York snatch, 185 00:07:32,053 --> 00:07:34,013 - kill, chop, and dump. 186 00:07:34,095 --> 00:07:35,175 God. Jesus Christ. 187 00:07:35,261 --> 00:07:36,721 Don't you have any clues 188 00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:38,264 other than bitch boy here? 189 00:07:38,345 --> 00:07:39,095 - Hey. - Hey yourself. 190 00:07:39,178 --> 00:07:40,428 The only snatch you've got 191 00:07:40,512 --> 00:07:41,722 in you is between your legs. 192 00:07:41,804 --> 00:07:43,224 Okay, it feels like 193 00:07:43,303 --> 00:07:44,183 we should spend a little more energy 194 00:07:44,261 --> 00:07:45,721 looking for possible suspects 195 00:07:45,804 --> 00:07:47,894 rather than just razzing old Blair here. 196 00:07:47,970 --> 00:07:50,010 - You let 'em take my baby. - I'm sorry. I am sorry. 197 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:51,095 How could you let this happen? 198 00:07:51,178 --> 00:07:52,098 Settle down. Settle down. 199 00:07:52,178 --> 00:07:53,598 Look, I-I just gotta ask, 200 00:07:53,679 --> 00:07:55,549 do Tiff or any of you 201 00:07:55,637 --> 00:07:58,257 owe any large outstanding debt? 202 00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:00,215 Let me just say on the record, eww. 203 00:08:00,303 --> 00:08:02,433 Okay. 204 00:08:02,512 --> 00:08:06,182 Perhaps someone you know owes a lot of money, 205 00:08:06,261 --> 00:08:08,011 maybe, uh, nefarious types 206 00:08:08,095 --> 00:08:09,385 that you would not want to owe money to. 207 00:08:09,470 --> 00:08:11,220 - Mo. - What? 208 00:08:11,303 --> 00:08:13,433 No, no. I said no. 209 00:08:13,512 --> 00:08:16,432 ♪ jaunty music ♪ 210 00:08:17,679 --> 00:08:19,389 So you digging Cali? 211 00:08:19,470 --> 00:08:22,300 Ugh, Los Angeles bums me out. 212 00:08:22,387 --> 00:08:23,967 But California's got surfing 213 00:08:24,053 --> 00:08:25,433 and swimming and skiing. 214 00:08:25,512 --> 00:08:27,852 It's like a black folk's paradise. 215 00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:32,345 Um... 216 00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:34,218 You know the party kind of has 217 00:08:34,303 --> 00:08:36,103 a strict policy against violence and drugs? 218 00:08:36,178 --> 00:08:37,888 I wasn't offering it to the party. 219 00:08:37,970 --> 00:08:39,100 I'm offering it to you, Roland. 220 00:08:39,178 --> 00:08:40,718 Yeah. 221 00:08:40,804 --> 00:08:42,144 No, I'm cool. I'm cool. 222 00:08:42,220 --> 00:08:45,550 Apparently, you not. 223 00:08:45,637 --> 00:08:47,637 Look, I know you mister party line, 224 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:49,220 but you should try opening your mind 225 00:08:49,303 --> 00:08:51,643 every once in a while. 226 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:52,970 Hm. 227 00:08:53,053 --> 00:08:54,263 What's it like? 228 00:08:54,345 --> 00:08:56,175 Mellows me out. 229 00:08:56,261 --> 00:08:57,891 I don't know. 230 00:08:57,970 --> 00:09:00,800 I'm not sure a square like you can handle it. 231 00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:07,801 Square like me. 232 00:09:12,136 --> 00:09:13,796 ♪ "Make Believe World" by Sandy Szigeti playing ♪ 233 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,097 Oh, shit. 234 00:09:15,178 --> 00:09:16,598 Oh. 235 00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:18,179 Let me help you out. 236 00:09:20,095 --> 00:09:23,295 ♪ The wind is blowing ♪ 237 00:09:23,387 --> 00:09:28,177 ♪ Against my face ♪ 238 00:09:28,261 --> 00:09:31,391 ♪ Sun's beating down ♪ 239 00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:36,390 ♪ With its warm rays ♪ 240 00:09:36,470 --> 00:09:39,430 ♪ upbeat synth music ♪ 241 00:09:43,595 --> 00:09:45,675 All right, we need to get a-- 242 00:09:45,762 --> 00:09:47,802 Oh, God! 243 00:09:47,887 --> 00:09:50,597 Are you in a freaking circle-jerk, again? 244 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:52,219 Dawn, we're not in a circle. 245 00:09:52,303 --> 00:09:53,473 Learn your shapes. 246 00:09:53,553 --> 00:09:54,643 God, Dawn. 247 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:57,180 Yeah, we're not gay, Dawn. 248 00:09:57,261 --> 00:09:58,891 Then what the fuck am I looking at? 249 00:09:58,970 --> 00:10:00,760 Uh, it's simple. We were out partying 250 00:10:00,845 --> 00:10:02,385 last night and we got into this debate 251 00:10:02,470 --> 00:10:03,760 about who has the biggest balls on the street... 252 00:10:03,845 --> 00:10:05,505 Which led to a dick-measuring contest... 253 00:10:05,595 --> 00:10:06,465 Which led to a pissing contest... 254 00:10:06,553 --> 00:10:07,893 Which led to a swordfight... 255 00:10:07,970 --> 00:10:09,430 Which led to a cockfight... 256 00:10:09,512 --> 00:10:11,052 Which led to me being up six grand 257 00:10:11,136 --> 00:10:12,676 until Wayne Ozzy'd the head off a live chicken. 258 00:10:12,762 --> 00:10:13,852 Chicken was cheating. 259 00:10:13,929 --> 00:10:15,259 I don't care. 260 00:10:15,345 --> 00:10:17,295 Have any of you jerk-offs seen Mo? 261 00:10:17,387 --> 00:10:19,137 Yeah, he came in earlier, got something from the safe. 262 00:10:19,220 --> 00:10:20,930 I don't know. He's acting pretty weird. 263 00:10:21,011 --> 00:10:22,431 Although we were peeing in jars at the time. 264 00:10:22,512 --> 00:10:23,802 Did he say where he was going? 265 00:10:23,887 --> 00:10:26,887 Yeah, to "upstate," like that's a real place. 266 00:10:26,970 --> 00:10:28,220 Well, let's get the scales and weigh 'em. 267 00:10:28,303 --> 00:10:29,893 - We gotta settle this. - Yeah. 268 00:10:29,970 --> 00:10:31,640 Dawn, we have another jar, if you want to-- 269 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:33,220 Actually, speaking of Black Sabbath, 270 00:10:33,303 --> 00:10:35,053 I gotta wrap this up. I gotta hit the shul, so... 271 00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:36,176 Good Shabbos. 272 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,761 It's hour nine, 273 00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,795 and still no sign of Tiffany Georgina. 274 00:10:39,887 --> 00:10:41,597 I can't believe we still haven't heard anything. 275 00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:43,009 Nope, don't worry. 276 00:10:43,095 --> 00:10:45,255 Jackie's leaving no bottle left unturned. 277 00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:46,965 Oh, stuff it, Henri. 278 00:10:47,053 --> 00:10:48,803 Well, it's crazy out there. If anybody knows anything, 279 00:10:48,887 --> 00:10:50,347 they'll come forward. It's all over the news. 280 00:10:50,428 --> 00:10:53,548 No press is bad press, right, Henri? 281 00:10:53,637 --> 00:10:54,637 All right, Blair, you mind 282 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,140 if I talk to you out in the hallway? 283 00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:57,350 Yes--I mean, no. 284 00:10:57,428 --> 00:10:58,758 I mean, I don't mind. 285 00:10:58,845 --> 00:11:00,385 I-I-I-I-- 286 00:11:00,470 --> 00:11:01,930 Now. 287 00:11:02,011 --> 00:11:03,391 I hope you sell a lot of jeans. 288 00:11:03,470 --> 00:11:05,140 Why is this my fault, Jackie? 289 00:11:05,220 --> 00:11:06,550 Take a chill pill. 290 00:11:06,637 --> 00:11:08,217 I left them at home. 291 00:11:08,303 --> 00:11:10,433 Where the fuck is she? 292 00:11:10,512 --> 00:11:12,932 Just tell me so we can start playing charades. 293 00:11:13,011 --> 00:11:14,761 Don't you mean stop playing charades? 294 00:11:14,845 --> 00:11:17,175 No, I have a charades party to get to, 295 00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:19,351 but I can't until you start talking. 296 00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:21,138 Are you trying to be purposefully misleading? 297 00:11:21,220 --> 00:11:22,850 Yes! 298 00:11:22,929 --> 00:11:24,889 Look, I already told you everything I know. 299 00:11:24,970 --> 00:11:26,430 Oh, yeah? You didn't mention 300 00:11:26,512 --> 00:11:29,972 a certain smoking hot Afro-American. 301 00:11:30,053 --> 00:11:32,853 I mean, I suppose Mo does have an undeniable raw sexuality, 302 00:11:32,929 --> 00:11:34,849 but I don't know what that has to do with this. 303 00:11:34,929 --> 00:11:37,139 Mo? Is that another one of your side salads? 304 00:11:37,220 --> 00:11:38,260 What? 305 00:11:38,345 --> 00:11:40,005 This morning, my guys 306 00:11:40,095 --> 00:11:42,425 followed you to your girlfriend Dawn's house. 307 00:11:42,512 --> 00:11:44,552 Look, Dawn is my friend, 308 00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:47,757 and--and my boss, and I was scared. 309 00:11:47,845 --> 00:11:49,675 I just wanted somebody to talk to. 310 00:11:49,762 --> 00:11:51,892 Look at it from my perspective. 311 00:11:51,970 --> 00:11:54,390 A certain millionaire-ess goes missing, 312 00:11:54,470 --> 00:11:56,050 and suddenly, her white trash fiancé... 313 00:11:56,136 --> 00:11:58,796 Okay, that's not how I would describe myself. 314 00:11:58,887 --> 00:12:00,637 Is running into the arms of his Nubian princess. 315 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,050 - Or her. - Look, I did you a favor, 316 00:12:03,136 --> 00:12:04,926 and I did not mention that in front of Tiff's parents, 317 00:12:05,011 --> 00:12:06,431 because I think they've been through enough already, 318 00:12:06,512 --> 00:12:09,012 but now you can do me a favor and... 319 00:12:11,512 --> 00:12:13,182 Oh. Whoa. 320 00:12:13,261 --> 00:12:15,641 What's happening? 321 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:17,180 Oh, God. Really? 322 00:12:17,261 --> 00:12:18,551 Three words. 323 00:12:18,637 --> 00:12:19,547 First word. 324 00:12:19,637 --> 00:12:22,467 Sounds like 325 00:12:22,553 --> 00:12:24,473 "Itsy-Bitsy Spider." 326 00:12:24,553 --> 00:12:27,183 Vitamin. 327 00:12:27,261 --> 00:12:28,931 Medicine. 328 00:12:29,011 --> 00:12:30,141 Tiny little medicine. 329 00:12:32,887 --> 00:12:35,887 Little yellow different better Nuprin! 330 00:12:35,970 --> 00:12:37,760 The-- 331 00:12:37,845 --> 00:12:39,795 The police attacked Deacon Richards last night. 332 00:12:39,887 --> 00:12:41,927 What? 333 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,471 And three others they mistook for Deacon Richards 334 00:12:43,553 --> 00:12:46,223 due to their incompetence and/or racism, 335 00:12:46,303 --> 00:12:49,933 so obviously, we need to send a message here. 336 00:12:50,011 --> 00:12:51,931 - That's right. - Mm-hmm. 337 00:12:52,011 --> 00:12:55,391 So we're planning our most zealous bake sale ever 338 00:12:55,470 --> 00:12:57,510 to raise funds for his legal defense. 339 00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:01,848 Is something on your mind, Ms. Upshaw? 340 00:13:01,929 --> 00:13:04,139 Just the scoff, thanks. 341 00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:06,100 - Okay. - Maybe take it easy, baby. 342 00:13:06,178 --> 00:13:07,138 Okay? Be cool. 343 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,470 So as I was saying-- 344 00:13:08,553 --> 00:13:10,103 - This is madness. - Ugh. 345 00:13:10,178 --> 00:13:12,218 The whole world's gone upside-down, 346 00:13:12,303 --> 00:13:14,513 and your solution is to make upside-down cake? 347 00:13:14,595 --> 00:13:16,095 Mm-hmm, 'cause we are trying-- 348 00:13:16,178 --> 00:13:17,928 You're not trying hard enough. 349 00:13:18,011 --> 00:13:19,431 - Look... - Get down. 350 00:13:19,512 --> 00:13:20,682 It's time we start 351 00:13:20,762 --> 00:13:22,852 fighting fire with firepower. 352 00:13:22,929 --> 00:13:24,679 - Ha! - So if any of y'all 353 00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,722 want to effect some real change for a change, 354 00:13:26,804 --> 00:13:28,474 come with me. 355 00:13:28,553 --> 00:13:31,473 ♪ jazz music ♪ 356 00:13:32,762 --> 00:13:34,142 I'm talking to you. 357 00:13:34,220 --> 00:13:35,890 Go now? 358 00:13:35,970 --> 00:13:37,260 Roland... 359 00:13:37,345 --> 00:13:40,465 Ah... 360 00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:41,553 Sorry, Herb. 361 00:13:41,637 --> 00:13:43,427 Okay, two people. That's okay. 362 00:13:46,095 --> 00:13:48,255 The point is--all right, now hold on, people. 363 00:13:48,345 --> 00:13:50,675 Brother, sister-- 364 00:13:53,136 --> 00:13:54,346 Scrub. 365 00:13:54,428 --> 00:13:56,548 Sweep. Shuffle. 366 00:13:56,637 --> 00:13:59,097 Shuffle off to Buffalo! 367 00:13:59,178 --> 00:14:00,218 We... 368 00:14:00,303 --> 00:14:02,553 Wax on, wax off. 369 00:14:02,637 --> 00:14:05,507 Karate Kid! Nuprin! 370 00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:07,345 Spill the beans! 371 00:14:07,428 --> 00:14:08,508 Well, how would I know that? 372 00:14:08,595 --> 00:14:10,255 Sounds like pill! 373 00:14:10,345 --> 00:14:11,505 I don't-- 374 00:14:11,595 --> 00:14:14,175 Fuck! 375 00:14:14,261 --> 00:14:15,141 They called. 376 00:14:15,220 --> 00:14:17,600 Yes! 377 00:14:17,679 --> 00:14:19,299 My baby's gonna be okay. 378 00:14:19,387 --> 00:14:20,257 They just want a hundred grand. 379 00:14:20,345 --> 00:14:21,715 Yeah, thank God. 380 00:14:21,804 --> 00:14:22,764 You know, it's times like this 381 00:14:22,845 --> 00:14:24,005 that you realize 382 00:14:24,095 --> 00:14:26,005 there's nothing more important 383 00:14:26,095 --> 00:14:27,965 than...money. 384 00:14:28,053 --> 00:14:29,803 We couldn't have gotten through this without money. 385 00:14:29,887 --> 00:14:31,427 They're gonna call back 386 00:14:31,512 --> 00:14:33,552 in a little while with a place to drop it 387 00:14:33,637 --> 00:14:35,217 and then they're gonna put her on a subway somewhere. 388 00:14:35,303 --> 00:14:36,763 Tiff ain't gonna like that. 389 00:14:36,845 --> 00:14:38,965 Well, we have to sneak a tracking device 390 00:14:39,053 --> 00:14:41,353 into this bag ASAP. 391 00:14:41,428 --> 00:14:43,138 Do you have any hard-case luggage? 392 00:14:43,220 --> 00:14:44,760 We've got some at the house. 393 00:14:44,845 --> 00:14:47,005 Blair, go grab a Louis. 394 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:48,795 I'll get our bodyguard to bring the cash here. 395 00:14:48,887 --> 00:14:51,347 And while you're there, get my chill pills. 396 00:14:51,428 --> 00:14:53,428 They're in the bedroom and the hall, 397 00:14:53,512 --> 00:14:55,642 and--and the kitchen, 398 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,600 and the other bedrooms, 399 00:14:57,679 --> 00:14:59,429 and all the bathrooms, 400 00:14:59,512 --> 00:15:02,052 and anything with a pocket! 401 00:15:02,136 --> 00:15:05,426 All right, if anybody's having any doubts, 402 00:15:05,512 --> 00:15:09,222 now's your chance to beat feet. 403 00:15:09,303 --> 00:15:11,353 This is--this is my no doubt-- 404 00:15:11,428 --> 00:15:13,968 This--when I do this, it's like, "Mm-mm. No doubts." 405 00:15:14,053 --> 00:15:15,803 All right. 406 00:15:15,887 --> 00:15:19,177 Okay, we gonna kidnap Governor Ronald Reagan, 407 00:15:19,261 --> 00:15:20,641 and until the demands 408 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,550 of the Panther Ten-Point Platform are met, 409 00:15:22,637 --> 00:15:24,467 we gonna keep that bastard in chains. 410 00:15:24,553 --> 00:15:25,763 Uh... 411 00:15:25,845 --> 00:15:27,845 Come on, kidnapping? 412 00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:31,215 Okay, sure, did Reagan 413 00:15:31,303 --> 00:15:33,553 turn his friends in for being Communist sympathizers 414 00:15:33,637 --> 00:15:35,137 and send the California Highway Patrol 415 00:15:35,220 --> 00:15:37,350 to the Berkeley campus to occupy it 416 00:15:37,428 --> 00:15:39,258 by indiscriminately shooting shotguns into the crowd 417 00:15:39,345 --> 00:15:41,005 because he thought the campus had become a safe haven 418 00:15:41,095 --> 00:15:43,385 for sex deviants and protesters and radicals, 419 00:15:43,470 --> 00:15:46,300 and do all of his movies suck, except for 1964's The Killers, 420 00:15:46,387 --> 00:15:47,797 you know, perhaps because it was the one time 421 00:15:47,887 --> 00:15:49,217 he played a villain, perhaps because 422 00:15:49,303 --> 00:15:51,303 he actually is one in real life? 423 00:15:51,387 --> 00:15:54,047 Yeah. 424 00:15:54,136 --> 00:15:55,966 But kidnapping? 425 00:15:57,929 --> 00:16:01,219 I like it. Yeah, let's do it. 426 00:16:01,303 --> 00:16:02,893 A'ight, so here's how it's going to go down. 427 00:16:02,970 --> 00:16:05,050 So this is a map of downtown Sacramento, 428 00:16:05,136 --> 00:16:07,256 11 blocks from the governor's mansion. 429 00:16:07,345 --> 00:16:09,545 Every last Thursday of the month, The Gipper 430 00:16:09,637 --> 00:16:12,507 kisses Nancy good-bye, slips his security detail, 431 00:16:12,595 --> 00:16:14,425 and sneaks off to a local theater to catch a movie. 432 00:16:14,512 --> 00:16:16,142 Lucky for us, 433 00:16:16,220 --> 00:16:18,970 the theater creates a perfect bottleneck. 434 00:16:19,053 --> 00:16:22,013 ♪ jazz music ♪ 435 00:16:23,679 --> 00:16:26,049 I got you. Here. 436 00:16:26,136 --> 00:16:27,596 Here. 437 00:16:27,679 --> 00:16:29,719 Let's go! 438 00:16:29,804 --> 00:16:32,854 ♪ synth and bass music ♪ 439 00:17:47,220 --> 00:17:49,350 Governor Reagan! 440 00:17:52,470 --> 00:17:53,930 Mo? 441 00:18:04,011 --> 00:18:05,601 No press is bad press. 442 00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:10,141 Mo! 443 00:18:10,220 --> 00:18:12,350 Mo, what the fuck are you doing? 444 00:18:13,679 --> 00:18:14,679 Governor Reagan! 445 00:18:14,762 --> 00:18:18,142 Not exactly. 446 00:18:18,220 --> 00:18:20,890 FBI! FBI! FBI! FBI! 447 00:18:20,970 --> 00:18:22,260 Get 'em up! 448 00:18:23,929 --> 00:18:26,889 ♪ desolate music ♪ 449 00:18:32,804 --> 00:18:35,474 ♪ "I Shall Be Released" playing ♪ 450 00:18:53,303 --> 00:18:55,053 ♪ They say everything ♪ 451 00:18:55,136 --> 00:18:57,466 ♪ Can be replaced ♪ 452 00:19:01,011 --> 00:19:02,801 ♪ They say every distance ♪ 453 00:19:02,887 --> 00:19:05,427 ♪ Is not near ♪ 454 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,970 ♪ So I remember ♪ 455 00:19:12,053 --> 00:19:15,013 ♪ Every face ♪ 456 00:19:17,929 --> 00:19:19,719 ♪ Of every man... ♪ 457 00:19:19,804 --> 00:19:21,474 What the fuck, Connie? Huh? 458 00:19:21,553 --> 00:19:24,433 Agh! 459 00:19:24,512 --> 00:19:26,262 You fuckin' sold us out, bitch! 460 00:19:26,345 --> 00:19:28,295 Agh! 461 00:19:28,387 --> 00:19:29,967 ♪ Come shining ♪ 462 00:19:30,053 --> 00:19:32,513 I told you, I got you. 463 00:19:34,595 --> 00:19:39,425 ♪ From the west down to the east ♪ 464 00:19:42,887 --> 00:19:46,927 ♪ Any day now ♪ 465 00:19:47,011 --> 00:19:50,221 ♪ Any day now ♪ 466 00:19:51,845 --> 00:19:56,715 ♪ I shall be released ♪ 467 00:20:02,595 --> 00:20:05,215 ♪ They say every man needs protection... ♪ 468 00:20:08,553 --> 00:20:10,393 I'm Rod Jaminski. 469 00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:14,010 ♪ They say every man must fall... ♪ 470 00:20:14,095 --> 00:20:15,635 But you can call me Jammer. 471 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,100 Mo! 472 00:20:18,178 --> 00:20:20,098 Mo, what the fuck are you doing? 473 00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:22,298 Jesus Christ! What the fuck are you doing? 474 00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:23,927 Is that Tiff? 475 00:20:24,011 --> 00:20:25,851 My God! I swear to God, Mo, I will-- 476 00:20:25,929 --> 00:20:28,299 okay, well, I won't shoot you, 'cause I can't, 477 00:20:28,387 --> 00:20:30,347 but I will push you in this water! 478 00:20:30,428 --> 00:20:32,798 Dawn, Dawn, what the fuck are you--are you high? 479 00:20:32,887 --> 00:20:34,597 What do you mean? Why would this be Tiff? 480 00:20:34,679 --> 00:20:36,259 W--she got kidnapped! 481 00:20:36,345 --> 00:20:38,635 Okay, first of all, huh? 482 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,850 And second of all, you think that I kidnapped Tiff, 483 00:20:40,929 --> 00:20:42,849 and then killed her, 484 00:20:42,929 --> 00:20:44,349 and burned her up 485 00:20:44,428 --> 00:20:46,968 and stuck her in a fucking jar today? 486 00:20:47,053 --> 00:20:49,553 - All right, no. - Jesus. 487 00:20:49,637 --> 00:20:50,927 I guess I deserved that on some level, 488 00:20:51,011 --> 00:20:52,141 but still, Jesus. 489 00:20:52,220 --> 00:20:53,970 Sorry. You know, I'm sorry. 490 00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:56,393 I knew it wasn't you, but I just-- 491 00:20:56,470 --> 00:20:58,260 when I couldn't find you, and-and-- 492 00:20:58,345 --> 00:20:59,965 and then the lake house and-- 493 00:21:00,053 --> 00:21:01,393 Dawn, this is my friend, Rod Jaminski, all right? 494 00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:03,680 - I'm sorry, Mo. - He just died. 495 00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:05,802 Okay, you want to stop waving the fucking gun around, please? 496 00:21:05,887 --> 00:21:08,297 Can I get back to paying my respects? 497 00:21:08,387 --> 00:21:09,757 Sorry. 498 00:21:13,428 --> 00:21:18,258 ♪ Oh, hail the power of Jesus-- ♪ 499 00:21:18,345 --> 00:21:20,545 Uh, Rod--Rod-- Rod was Jewish. 500 00:21:20,637 --> 00:21:23,097 Copy that. 501 00:21:25,553 --> 00:21:27,223 ♪ Hava na-- ♪ 502 00:21:27,303 --> 00:21:29,143 Yeah, I should've seen that coming. 503 00:21:29,220 --> 00:21:30,720 No singing. Just don't sing. 504 00:21:34,220 --> 00:21:36,760 ♪ energetic synth music ♪ 505 00:21:36,845 --> 00:21:38,715 I found these at the Georginas' apartment. 506 00:21:38,804 --> 00:21:40,474 They must have kidnapped Tiff themselves, 507 00:21:40,553 --> 00:21:42,683 maybe for the press. 508 00:21:42,762 --> 00:21:44,552 Calvin Klein's brand took off after his daughter got taken. 509 00:21:45,929 --> 00:21:48,009 Stay here. 510 00:21:50,679 --> 00:21:52,889 Okay, Georginas, enough! 511 00:21:52,970 --> 00:21:56,930 He wanted me in the family business! 512 00:21:57,011 --> 00:21:59,931 ♪ jaunty music ♪ 513 00:22:06,303 --> 00:22:08,263 Jammer wanted you to have it. 514 00:22:10,095 --> 00:22:12,295 "Fuck 'em all." You got that right, Jammer. 515 00:22:12,387 --> 00:22:14,717 Can't believe you guys are keeping him in here 516 00:22:14,804 --> 00:22:16,764 14 years on securities fraud. 517 00:22:16,845 --> 00:22:18,795 Securities fraud? Uh, is that what he told you? 518 00:22:18,887 --> 00:22:20,797 The guy murdered his business partner. 519 00:22:24,679 --> 00:22:26,429 Fuck out of here. 520 00:22:27,345 --> 00:22:29,965 Here's to you, buddy. 521 00:22:34,011 --> 00:22:36,431 So who was this dude? 522 00:22:36,512 --> 00:22:38,852 Ah, he was my neighbor for a long time, 523 00:22:38,929 --> 00:22:40,219 a long time ago. 524 00:22:40,303 --> 00:22:41,683 Mm, sorry, Mo-Mo. 525 00:22:41,762 --> 00:22:43,892 ♪ melancholy synth music ♪ 526 00:22:43,970 --> 00:22:45,470 Taught me everything I know. 527 00:22:45,553 --> 00:22:47,973 Not everything. 528 00:22:48,053 --> 00:22:49,393 Oh, you mean sex stuff. 529 00:22:49,470 --> 00:22:53,050 - Mm. 530 00:23:02,053 --> 00:23:03,683 - I was right! - But not this way. 531 00:23:03,762 --> 00:23:06,182 All you guys are crooks. 532 00:23:07,178 --> 00:23:09,348 You said you wanted me to take 533 00:23:09,428 --> 00:23:11,298 a more active role in the business. 534 00:23:11,387 --> 00:23:13,257 You got a lot of balls, Jackie. 535 00:23:13,345 --> 00:23:15,505 Well, at least one of us does. 536 00:23:15,595 --> 00:23:17,135 Great news. 537 00:23:17,220 --> 00:23:18,180 It wasn't the Georginas. 538 00:23:18,261 --> 00:23:20,851 Turns out those magazines 539 00:23:20,929 --> 00:23:22,759 are for a craft project 540 00:23:22,845 --> 00:23:25,925 that Tiff did in junior high on Patty Hearst. 541 00:23:26,011 --> 00:23:27,511 That's pretty unbelievable, right? 542 00:23:27,595 --> 00:23:28,845 It's totally unbelievable. 543 00:23:28,929 --> 00:23:30,259 Even better news: 544 00:23:30,345 --> 00:23:31,965 kidnappers called. 545 00:23:32,053 --> 00:23:33,353 They let Tiff go, 546 00:23:33,428 --> 00:23:36,928 so, uh, case closed, I guess. 547 00:23:39,637 --> 00:23:42,597 ♪ dramatic synth music ♪ 548 00:23:53,845 --> 00:23:54,925 Morning. 549 00:23:56,804 --> 00:23:57,644 Did we-- 550 00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:00,010 Cartwheel 69? 551 00:24:00,095 --> 00:24:02,715 You wish. 552 00:24:02,804 --> 00:24:05,144 What I was gonna ask was did we kill that bottle? 553 00:24:05,220 --> 00:24:06,930 I need the hair of the dog. 554 00:24:07,011 --> 00:24:08,471 We? You killed it. 555 00:24:10,095 --> 00:24:11,425 So, yo, Tiff's kidnapping? 556 00:24:11,512 --> 00:24:12,932 All the publicity made the stock 557 00:24:13,011 --> 00:24:14,431 really shoot through the roof across the pond. 558 00:24:14,512 --> 00:24:15,642 - It's gonna open big. - Wow. Yeah? 559 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,640 - Yeah. - Good. 560 00:24:19,512 --> 00:24:21,052 I'm gonna sell it. 561 00:24:21,136 --> 00:24:23,346 Huh? 562 00:24:23,428 --> 00:24:24,928 Yeah, we'll make a little profit. 563 00:24:25,011 --> 00:24:26,431 Then we'll be through 564 00:24:26,512 --> 00:24:27,802 with this whole Georgina bullshit. 565 00:24:27,887 --> 00:24:29,387 I mean, those brother-fuckers are right. 566 00:24:29,470 --> 00:24:30,470 This thing's goddamn cursed. 567 00:24:30,553 --> 00:24:32,353 Yeah, but we're so close, Mo. 568 00:24:32,428 --> 00:24:34,798 Yeah, we were, but it's all fucked up now. 569 00:24:34,887 --> 00:24:36,507 I mean... 570 00:24:36,595 --> 00:24:38,095 I told Blair everything. 571 00:24:38,178 --> 00:24:40,928 Why? 572 00:24:41,011 --> 00:24:43,681 I genuinely like the kid. 573 00:24:43,762 --> 00:24:45,512 I mean, we almost died together. 574 00:24:45,595 --> 00:24:46,755 That's gotta count for something. 575 00:24:46,845 --> 00:24:49,635 Mm. 576 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:51,640 And he wasn't gonna marry Tiff anyway. 577 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,140 I thought maybe he would work with us, but... 578 00:24:54,220 --> 00:24:57,180 fucking kid hates me now. 579 00:24:57,261 --> 00:24:59,431 Welcome to the club, right? 580 00:25:04,178 --> 00:25:06,348 Don't sell shit, Mo. 581 00:25:06,428 --> 00:25:09,598 I can save the Georgina play. 582 00:25:09,679 --> 00:25:11,389 How? 583 00:25:11,470 --> 00:25:13,350 Well, Blair called me in the middle of the night, 584 00:25:13,428 --> 00:25:14,718 and he told me Tiff's parents 585 00:25:14,804 --> 00:25:16,184 were the ones who had her kidnapped. 586 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,140 No, I know, I know. To drive the stock up. 587 00:25:20,220 --> 00:25:21,390 Get the fuck out of here. 588 00:25:21,470 --> 00:25:23,760 Yeah, and now he's pissed. 589 00:25:23,845 --> 00:25:26,095 Pissed enough to-- to work with me? 590 00:25:26,178 --> 00:25:28,178 No, but--but, you know, 591 00:25:28,261 --> 00:25:29,801 enough to work with me. 592 00:25:32,220 --> 00:25:35,260 You're right. You know, Blair-- 593 00:25:35,345 --> 00:25:36,795 you know, Blair wasn't gonna marry Tiff, 594 00:25:36,887 --> 00:25:39,547 because, uh, well... 595 00:25:42,595 --> 00:25:45,635 Because he's in love with me. 596 00:25:47,804 --> 00:25:49,474 Oops. 597 00:25:49,553 --> 00:25:51,553 And, um... 598 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,680 And, um... 599 00:25:56,762 --> 00:26:00,222 And I think that I'm falling for him, too. 600 00:26:03,804 --> 00:26:06,764 ♪ "I Shall Be Released" playing ♪ 601 00:26:10,011 --> 00:26:11,431 Ah. 602 00:26:13,470 --> 00:26:15,470 You know how to get out of here, right? 603 00:26:15,553 --> 00:26:19,513 ♪ Any day now ♪ 604 00:26:19,595 --> 00:26:23,345 ♪ Any day now ♪ 605 00:26:25,595 --> 00:26:30,675 ♪ I shall be ♪ 606 00:26:31,595 --> 00:26:36,005 ♪ Released ♪ 607 00:26:41,011 --> 00:26:43,931 ♪ smooth synth music ♪ 39277

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