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♪ synth music ♪
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00:00:02,804 --> 00:00:04,894
♪ singers harmonizing ♪
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00:00:04,970 --> 00:00:07,050
♪ It's Showtime tonight ♪
4
00:00:07,136 --> 00:00:09,426
Previously on
Black Monday...
5
00:00:09,512 --> 00:00:11,392
Shit. We got the money.
6
00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:13,390
Wayne was pulling the LaGuardia
Spread with the dough.
7
00:00:13,470 --> 00:00:14,930
When was the last time
you had a good time
8
00:00:15,011 --> 00:00:16,721
- with that white boy?
- Wait, you and Mo?
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00:00:16,804 --> 00:00:18,054
The Leighmans would
never make a deal
10
00:00:18,136 --> 00:00:20,216
that didn't fuck me over.
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00:00:20,303 --> 00:00:22,603
We went and acquired
30% of the Jammer Group.
12
00:00:22,679 --> 00:00:25,009
- Dawn let it slip.
We all have to work
13
00:00:25,095 --> 00:00:26,385
late tonight to do compliance.
14
00:00:26,470 --> 00:00:28,430
You mean a document shred?
15
00:00:28,512 --> 00:00:30,012
How'd you know that?
Duh! My family's loaded.
16
00:00:30,095 --> 00:00:31,845
You're gay.
I know you're gay.
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00:00:31,929 --> 00:00:34,259
That's fuckin' rich...
coming from you.
18
00:00:34,345 --> 00:00:36,045
What?
19
00:00:58,261 --> 00:01:00,051
Wha--
20
00:01:00,136 --> 00:01:01,926
Aah--Fuck!
21
00:01:02,011 --> 00:01:04,391
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
22
00:01:04,470 --> 00:01:06,180
Wayne, my God, man,
23
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who cares what--
You shit on the floor again?
24
00:01:08,053 --> 00:01:10,853
Oh, my God, that's a dead body!
25
00:01:10,929 --> 00:01:13,299
- What the fuck did you do?
- I didn't do anything!
26
00:01:13,387 --> 00:01:14,927
You're holding a fucking gun!
27
00:01:15,011 --> 00:01:16,641
- Aah!
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00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,350
Please, you gotta help me.
29
00:01:18,428 --> 00:01:19,758
Okay, yeah!
30
00:01:19,845 --> 00:01:22,095
Yeah, you know what?
Uh, you go.
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00:01:22,178 --> 00:01:23,548
I'll--I'll take the fall.
Go.
32
00:01:23,637 --> 00:01:25,547
- Really?
- Fuck no, you idiot!
33
00:01:25,637 --> 00:01:27,967
We gotta call the cops!
You gotta call the cops.
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00:01:28,053 --> 00:01:29,643
I'm getting
the fuck out of here!
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00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:30,760
Bro, five words.
36
00:01:30,845 --> 00:01:32,505
Spring break, 1981,
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Cabo San Puke-as.
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You brought home a girl
with an Adam's apple,
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00:01:36,303 --> 00:01:37,553
you were about
to get your freak on.
40
00:01:37,637 --> 00:01:40,217
And then, I spotted a mole
on your ass.
41
00:01:40,303 --> 00:01:42,973
Doctor said I saved your life
that day.
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00:01:43,053 --> 00:01:44,763
That was more than five words.
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♪ jaunty synth music ♪
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I'm so overwhelmed.
45
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I mean, we don't even have
a honeymoon spot.
46
00:01:52,428 --> 00:01:54,798
I mean, Tahiti, Belize, Fiji--
they're all so plain.
47
00:01:54,887 --> 00:01:56,257
Well, I've only been
on a plane twice,
48
00:01:56,345 --> 00:01:57,885
so they all sound exciting.
49
00:01:57,970 --> 00:02:00,050
I want someplace that is
so exotic and so special
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00:02:00,136 --> 00:02:01,676
that none of my friends
have been there,
51
00:02:01,762 --> 00:02:04,012
like a country
that's just been overthrown.
52
00:02:04,095 --> 00:02:05,425
You know, a good coup
is like fresh powder
53
00:02:05,512 --> 00:02:06,552
for jet-setters.
54
00:02:06,637 --> 00:02:08,347
Okay.
55
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:11,258
What do we think?
56
00:02:11,345 --> 00:02:13,135
I thought we agreed
on the pink shirt.
57
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No, no, no.
58
00:02:14,261 --> 00:02:15,351
Pink's too feminine.
59
00:02:15,428 --> 00:02:16,968
But pink's your favorite color.
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00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:18,223
Well, favorite colors
can change.
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00:02:18,303 --> 00:02:20,473
From now on, mine's...
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00:02:20,553 --> 00:02:22,053
gunmetal gray,
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or camo.
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Blair,
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00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:26,350
you're not wearing
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a camouflage shirt
to our engagement party, okay?
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00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:31,597
Page Six
is covering this thing.
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00:02:31,679 --> 00:02:34,049
All the most influential
and judgmental
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00:02:34,136 --> 00:02:35,716
socialites
will be there, okay?
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00:02:35,804 --> 00:02:38,264
Like, mm, oh, I don't know--
Terry Jo Maxx,
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00:02:38,345 --> 00:02:40,135
heiress to the TJ Maxx fortune,
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00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:42,390
Condoleeza Nast,
Madison Square,
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00:02:42,470 --> 00:02:45,100
and my best-friend-slash-
bitter-rival, Tosh B'Gosh.
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00:02:45,178 --> 00:02:47,468
Oh, my gosh, Tosh Osh
Kosh B'Gosh is coming?
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00:02:47,553 --> 00:02:49,433
Yes, but remember,
don't bring up overalls.
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00:02:49,512 --> 00:02:50,802
She doesn't have the shoulders.
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00:02:50,887 --> 00:02:53,177
Blair, this is
our official coming out
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00:02:53,261 --> 00:02:54,141
to Manhattan society.
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Don't you want to come out?
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00:02:56,887 --> 00:02:58,467
Sure.
B-babe,
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00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:00,643
maybe did you
double up on your Fen-Phen?
82
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,430
'Cause this wedding diet's
kind of got you at a ten-ten.
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00:03:02,512 --> 00:03:04,762
Haven't eaten in four days,
but you know what?
84
00:03:04,845 --> 00:03:06,425
I'm gonna make
an exception for tonight,
85
00:03:06,512 --> 00:03:08,012
because Chef Jean-Georges
is debuting something
86
00:03:08,095 --> 00:03:09,925
called a lava cake,
and oh, mama,
87
00:03:10,011 --> 00:03:12,011
I'm gonna force myself
on that fucking cake.
88
00:03:12,095 --> 00:03:14,045
That's a scary way
to phrase that.
89
00:03:14,136 --> 00:03:15,636
You know what?
I never should've agreed
90
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,140
to let Mo throw this thing,
91
00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:18,930
'cause I'm feeling
really out of control.
92
00:03:19,011 --> 00:03:21,051
I'm going.
Going over the edge.
93
00:03:21,136 --> 00:03:23,006
- No, no, no, no, no.
- I'm going, yeah.
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00:03:23,095 --> 00:03:24,675
- Mommy. Mommy.
- Going.
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00:03:24,762 --> 00:03:26,642
- Going. I'm gone.
- Shh, shh.
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00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,430
It's the groom's family's
responsibility
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00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:30,222
to host the engagement party,
98
00:03:30,303 --> 00:03:33,643
and because my mama
is couch-bound and my dad--
99
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,010
Died of a heart attack
while beating you.
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00:03:35,095 --> 00:03:37,045
We know.
101
00:03:37,136 --> 00:03:38,506
Sorry.
102
00:03:38,595 --> 00:03:39,885
It's okay.
103
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,260
You know what?
I-I just need to call Mo
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00:03:41,345 --> 00:03:43,095
and go over the details
one more time.
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00:03:43,178 --> 00:03:44,218
- No.
- One more time.
106
00:03:44,303 --> 00:03:45,683
It's 6:00 a.m.
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Thought:
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00:03:47,387 --> 00:03:49,797
what if we postpone
the party
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00:03:49,887 --> 00:03:51,967
because--
- You're-a-gay.
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00:03:52,053 --> 00:03:52,853
What?
111
00:03:52,929 --> 00:03:53,639
You're-a-gay.
112
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:55,010
It's so obvious.
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00:03:55,095 --> 00:03:56,965
Uh...
That's, uh,
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00:03:57,053 --> 00:03:58,263
it's not obvious to me.
115
00:03:58,345 --> 00:04:00,545
The country had a revolution
four months ago.
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00:04:00,637 --> 00:04:02,257
This is the perfect sweet spot
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00:04:02,345 --> 00:04:03,925
between beaches
that are overcrowded
118
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:06,051
with tourists and corpses.
119
00:04:06,136 --> 00:04:08,216
It's pronounced "yur-u-guai."
120
00:04:08,303 --> 00:04:09,803
Although...
121
00:04:09,887 --> 00:04:11,297
they probably don't
speak English,
122
00:04:11,387 --> 00:04:12,797
and I really don't want
to, like, work
123
00:04:12,887 --> 00:04:14,297
on my honeymoon.
124
00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:16,257
Although tell me
this doesn't look delish.
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00:04:18,011 --> 00:04:20,511
I'm gonna stick
with the white shirt, babe.
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00:04:20,595 --> 00:04:23,545
♪ low synth music ♪
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00:04:27,011 --> 00:04:28,551
- Hey, babe.
- Hey! Oh!
128
00:04:28,637 --> 00:04:30,347
- What you doing?
- Well, you know me.
129
00:04:30,428 --> 00:04:32,008
Just stashing condoms
130
00:04:32,095 --> 00:04:33,795
around the house
for easy access.
131
00:04:33,887 --> 00:04:35,177
How romantic.
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00:04:35,261 --> 00:04:38,391
Hey, listen.
Speaking of using condoms,
133
00:04:38,470 --> 00:04:40,640
what do you say we...
stop using condoms?
134
00:04:42,178 --> 00:04:44,008
Babe, I want to,
you know that,
135
00:04:44,095 --> 00:04:46,135
but I just--my horoscope
said to lay low,
136
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:48,100
and don't kids
feel like '90s us?
137
00:04:48,178 --> 00:04:50,008
I mean, not to mention
the fact that I just bought
138
00:04:50,095 --> 00:04:51,425
a ton of Trojan stock,
139
00:04:51,512 --> 00:04:53,762
so I'd kind of be working
against myself.
140
00:04:53,845 --> 00:04:55,595
Mr. Gorbachev,
141
00:04:55,679 --> 00:04:57,799
tear down that wall.
142
00:04:57,887 --> 00:04:59,007
- Ronald Reagan?
- I get it.
143
00:04:59,095 --> 00:05:01,255
My vagina is East Berlin.
144
00:05:01,345 --> 00:05:03,345
Impossible to come into.
145
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:04,928
Yeah, no, I'm sorry.
146
00:05:05,011 --> 00:05:06,431
You know what?
It's fine.
147
00:05:06,512 --> 00:05:07,802
Condoms it is.
148
00:05:07,887 --> 00:05:09,757
Babe,
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00:05:09,845 --> 00:05:11,715
listen, no, no.
I hear you.
150
00:05:11,804 --> 00:05:13,644
I'm sorry I get all weird
with this stuff.
151
00:05:14,887 --> 00:05:18,007
Okay, I'm in.
152
00:05:18,095 --> 00:05:19,545
Fire at will, Captain.
153
00:05:19,637 --> 00:05:22,467
I am an officer
and a gentleman.
154
00:05:22,553 --> 00:05:23,513
Mm...
155
00:05:23,595 --> 00:05:25,135
Okay, okay.
156
00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:26,550
All right, but as long
as we're talking
157
00:05:26,637 --> 00:05:29,137
in movie titles--
Red Dawn.
158
00:05:29,220 --> 00:05:31,390
- Oh.
- Yeah.
159
00:05:31,470 --> 00:05:33,890
- Copy that. Okay.
- Yeah.
160
00:05:33,970 --> 00:05:36,720
But I'm so ready.
I'm gonna call my mom.
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00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:39,724
♪ low synth music ♪
162
00:05:48,303 --> 00:05:49,893
All right,
Booger Sugarhill Gang,
163
00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:51,220
let's jump on it!
164
00:05:52,345 --> 00:05:54,215
Okay.
I have been looking
165
00:05:54,303 --> 00:05:57,433
over your accounts,
and you motherfuckers...
166
00:05:57,512 --> 00:05:59,052
have been making money!
167
00:05:59,136 --> 00:06:01,756
Shit is good.
Shit is very good.
168
00:06:01,845 --> 00:06:04,345
So I just wanted
to say thank you.
169
00:06:04,428 --> 00:06:05,678
And where's all the cheering
and shit?
170
00:06:05,762 --> 00:06:07,262
All due respect, Momo,
171
00:06:07,345 --> 00:06:08,595
but normally,
when you compliment us,
172
00:06:08,679 --> 00:06:10,139
it's just a setup
to yell at us
173
00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:11,180
or knock shit out of our hands.
174
00:06:11,261 --> 00:06:12,601
No, that's true, that's true.
175
00:06:12,679 --> 00:06:14,429
That's fair, but this time,
it is real.
176
00:06:14,512 --> 00:06:15,802
This has been
our best month ever!
177
00:06:16,970 --> 00:06:18,470
There we go!
178
00:06:18,553 --> 00:06:20,513
That's more like it,
and I gotta say,
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00:06:20,595 --> 00:06:23,175
it is mostly due
to our boy Blair here.
180
00:06:23,261 --> 00:06:24,681
Blair, you been doing
incredible work.
181
00:06:24,762 --> 00:06:26,012
Stand up.
Take a bow.
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00:06:26,095 --> 00:06:27,345
Come on, Blair.
Stand up.
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00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:28,928
Ah,
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00:06:29,011 --> 00:06:30,351
I can't take all the credit.
185
00:06:30,428 --> 00:06:31,468
This wouldn't
have been possible
186
00:06:31,553 --> 00:06:33,303
without the help of, uh,
187
00:06:33,387 --> 00:06:35,297
- one very special person.
- Aw...
188
00:06:35,387 --> 00:06:36,967
She's become
quite a mentor to me.
189
00:06:37,053 --> 00:06:38,473
Hold on, I know I'm cute,
but I'm still a he.
190
00:06:38,553 --> 00:06:40,513
Dawn, the advice,
191
00:06:40,595 --> 00:06:42,795
the late nights...
192
00:06:42,887 --> 00:06:44,387
I share this with you.
193
00:06:44,470 --> 00:06:46,220
Share what?
The fuck am I watching here?
194
00:06:46,303 --> 00:06:47,853
Okay, mazel, you two.
195
00:06:47,929 --> 00:06:48,969
- Keep it up, kids.
- Wait, wait, wait.
196
00:06:49,053 --> 00:06:50,103
That's it?
That's the meeting?
197
00:06:50,178 --> 00:06:51,968
Oh, hey, Mo.
I happen to have
198
00:06:52,053 --> 00:06:53,553
information that Audi--
199
00:06:53,637 --> 00:06:55,297
Whoa, whoa.
Inside information?
200
00:06:55,387 --> 00:06:56,927
Yeah, what am I,
a fucking teacher?
201
00:06:57,011 --> 00:06:58,471
Ha! That's good.
- Forget about him.
202
00:06:58,553 --> 00:06:59,803
I talked to some
of my bros at Wharton.
203
00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:01,887
Audi's about to do
a major recall, even bigger
204
00:07:01,970 --> 00:07:03,680
than their last one,
when the carpets--
205
00:07:03,762 --> 00:07:05,722
Didn't match the drapes,
am I right, Mo?
206
00:07:05,804 --> 00:07:07,394
What is this, open mic night?
Shut the fuck up, Keith.
207
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:10,010
When the carpets were
pinning down the gas pedals.
208
00:07:10,095 --> 00:07:11,845
Multiple fatalities.
209
00:07:11,929 --> 00:07:13,759
- Oh.
- Yeah, yeah.
210
00:07:13,845 --> 00:07:15,345
If we short it, we could
double our stack in a day.
211
00:07:15,428 --> 00:07:17,718
Yes, let's do that immediately.
Okay.
212
00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:19,264
This is what I'm talking about.
This kid's a fucking genius,
213
00:07:19,345 --> 00:07:20,595
- all right?
- Come on.
214
00:07:20,679 --> 00:07:21,929
Set this kid up
with anything he needs,
215
00:07:22,011 --> 00:07:23,511
all right, Keith?
Great job, son.
216
00:07:23,595 --> 00:07:24,755
You were right.
Picking stocks is a lot easier
217
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:25,925
when you already know
what's gonna happen.
218
00:07:26,011 --> 00:07:28,101
- Told you.
219
00:07:29,887 --> 00:07:32,297
Go fuck yourself.
All right, everybody.
220
00:07:32,387 --> 00:07:33,547
Back to work.
Let's go.
221
00:07:35,929 --> 00:07:36,929
What's up, Mo?
222
00:07:37,011 --> 00:07:38,141
Ah, nada mooch.
223
00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:39,720
What's up with you?
Oh.
224
00:07:39,804 --> 00:07:41,224
Is that your dress
for Blair's engagement party?
225
00:07:41,303 --> 00:07:43,553
- It's gorgeous.
- Yeah, it's a Mel Bruning.
226
00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:45,757
She's a genius.
But I meant "What's up"
227
00:07:45,845 --> 00:07:47,925
as in, you know,
what the fuck is up with you?
228
00:07:48,011 --> 00:07:49,601
I don't follow.
229
00:07:49,679 --> 00:07:52,719
Okay, well you've just--
you've been, uh, nice.
230
00:07:52,804 --> 00:07:54,644
- Oh.
- You know?
231
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,260
And I expected you to be
a huge prick ever since...
232
00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:58,795
You lost a piece of my company
to my most hated enemies?
233
00:07:58,887 --> 00:08:00,217
Okay.
234
00:08:00,303 --> 00:08:02,013
But, uh...
235
00:08:02,095 --> 00:08:03,885
you know, you said yourself,
we've never done better,
236
00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:05,680
and wouldn't you rather
the Leighmans
237
00:08:05,762 --> 00:08:08,222
own a piece of us
instead of a gang of killers?
238
00:08:08,303 --> 00:08:09,893
I completely agree.
239
00:08:09,970 --> 00:08:11,390
What a cogent argument.
240
00:08:11,470 --> 00:08:13,100
Look, Dawn,
I'm not trying to be nice.
241
00:08:13,178 --> 00:08:14,508
I'm just trying to be smart.
242
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,595
I let you and Blair
fuck up my mojo,
243
00:08:16,679 --> 00:08:18,139
but it was a good reminder,
244
00:08:18,220 --> 00:08:19,180
'cause now I'm gonna be
using my little head
245
00:08:19,261 --> 00:08:20,391
instead of my big one.
246
00:08:20,470 --> 00:08:21,890
Don't you mean your big head?
247
00:08:21,970 --> 00:08:23,140
Do I?
248
00:08:23,220 --> 00:08:24,390
The point is, Dawn,
249
00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:25,930
I don't care
about the Leighmans,
250
00:08:26,011 --> 00:08:27,551
I don't care about Blair,
251
00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:28,387
definitely don't give a fuck
about you anymore.
252
00:08:28,470 --> 00:08:30,050
I'm just gonna
stay focused,
253
00:08:30,136 --> 00:08:32,136
and all I care about
is the Georgina play.
254
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:34,010
Fuck 'em all.
255
00:08:34,095 --> 00:08:36,755
♪ soft music ♪
256
00:08:36,845 --> 00:08:38,215
Yeah.
257
00:08:40,595 --> 00:08:42,175
Hey, look who it is.
258
00:08:42,261 --> 00:08:43,801
The golden butt boy.
259
00:08:43,887 --> 00:08:45,797
Look, I'm just
trying to do my job, okay?
260
00:08:45,887 --> 00:08:48,217
Speaking of, I need
those Audi puts before you go.
261
00:08:48,303 --> 00:08:51,053
Oh, yeah, about that.
Um...suck my dick.
262
00:08:51,136 --> 00:08:52,176
Oh, and that's
a figure of speech,
263
00:08:52,261 --> 00:08:53,801
not an invitation.
264
00:08:53,887 --> 00:08:54,927
You wish.
265
00:08:55,011 --> 00:08:57,551
You wish.
266
00:08:57,637 --> 00:08:58,597
You wish.
267
00:08:58,679 --> 00:08:59,389
You wish.
268
00:08:59,470 --> 00:09:00,760
You wish.
269
00:09:01,637 --> 00:09:04,467
You...wish.
270
00:09:05,595 --> 00:09:08,095
I don't know what you think
you think about me,
271
00:09:08,178 --> 00:09:09,348
but it's not true.
272
00:09:09,428 --> 00:09:11,758
I have my engagement party
tonight,
273
00:09:11,845 --> 00:09:13,005
to a woman,
274
00:09:13,095 --> 00:09:14,345
and I might be falling
275
00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:15,758
for another woman.
276
00:09:15,845 --> 00:09:17,635
Talk about you wishing,
but hey,
277
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:19,800
I hope you're right,
because trust me...
278
00:09:19,887 --> 00:09:22,467
you don't want to be me.
279
00:09:22,553 --> 00:09:24,853
Did you just chase Ex-Lax
with ipecac?
280
00:09:24,929 --> 00:09:26,679
Bottoms up.
281
00:09:26,762 --> 00:09:30,102
Oh, you should get used
to hearing that, by the way.
282
00:09:30,178 --> 00:09:30,928
Is that chili?
283
00:09:31,011 --> 00:09:34,351
Mm.
Mm.
284
00:09:34,428 --> 00:09:36,298
Cleanup in aisle Blair.
285
00:09:36,387 --> 00:09:39,297
♪ low synth music ♪
286
00:09:39,387 --> 00:09:40,797
All right, who is ready
287
00:09:40,887 --> 00:09:42,387
for the Cape?
288
00:09:42,470 --> 00:09:43,800
Noah, I hope you brought
your mitt,
289
00:09:43,887 --> 00:09:45,967
'cause I'm bringing the heat
like Orel Hershiser.
290
00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:47,643
Bam down the middle!
291
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,600
Rach, underwater tea parties
all day long.
292
00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:52,219
And Braddy, those townie girls
are about to have
293
00:09:52,303 --> 00:09:54,553
a Hebrew National
eating competition, am I right?
294
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:56,467
- Keithy! No.
295
00:09:56,553 --> 00:09:57,933
No. Not appropriate.
296
00:09:58,011 --> 00:09:59,601
But you know what?
Daddy is right.
297
00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:01,049
This is a very big summer
for your schmeckle.
298
00:10:01,136 --> 00:10:03,176
You're a man now.
Gonna make Mama proud?
299
00:10:03,261 --> 00:10:06,681
I am so excited
for a Shanker family road trip.
300
00:10:06,762 --> 00:10:08,142
In just six short hours,
we'll be making
301
00:10:08,220 --> 00:10:09,800
s'mores and memories.
All right.
302
00:10:09,887 --> 00:10:11,427
♪ 99 bottles of beer
on the wall ♪
303
00:10:11,512 --> 00:10:12,302
♪ 99-- ♪
304
00:10:18,053 --> 00:10:19,763
Oh, my God.
305
00:10:19,845 --> 00:10:21,255
Oh, Keith, are you okay?
306
00:10:21,345 --> 00:10:22,345
Think so.
I'm sorry, kids.
307
00:10:22,428 --> 00:10:24,178
That was weird.
308
00:10:24,261 --> 00:10:25,391
Good thing I got a change
of clothes right here.
309
00:10:25,470 --> 00:10:27,470
- Ohh--
310
00:10:27,553 --> 00:10:30,473
Mommy!
Oh, gross!
311
00:10:30,553 --> 00:10:32,303
You know what?
I'm thinking maybe
312
00:10:32,387 --> 00:10:33,467
you should stay home.
313
00:10:33,553 --> 00:10:34,723
No, no, I'm feeling better.
314
00:10:34,804 --> 00:10:37,264
Think I got it all
out of my system--
315
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:41,184
Oh...
316
00:10:41,261 --> 00:10:44,641
I did it, Mike.
Shira and the kids are gone.
317
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:45,720
Yeah, it wasn't easy,
318
00:10:45,804 --> 00:10:48,554
but, uh, that's why you lease.
319
00:10:48,637 --> 00:10:50,887
I told you,
nothing would stop me
320
00:10:50,970 --> 00:10:53,140
from seeing your Broadway
debut as Rusty.
321
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:54,850
I mean, understudy?
322
00:10:54,929 --> 00:10:56,889
More like over-study,
because you're so--
323
00:11:01,512 --> 00:11:02,932
Prepared.
324
00:11:03,011 --> 00:11:05,931
♪ low synth music ♪
325
00:11:08,595 --> 00:11:10,675
Where the fuck have you been?
326
00:11:10,762 --> 00:11:12,262
It--I--I'm sorry.
327
00:11:12,345 --> 00:11:13,845
Is that a milkshake?
328
00:11:13,929 --> 00:11:16,049
Yeah, I had to spread out
my purchases.
329
00:11:16,136 --> 00:11:17,546
Can't just go in a store.
"Excuse me.
330
00:11:17,637 --> 00:11:18,717
Can I have some shovels,
an axe,
331
00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:20,644
and a gallon
of hydrochloric acid?
332
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,970
Better yet, do you have
a dead guy cleanup kit?
333
00:11:23,053 --> 00:11:24,763
'Cause my friend's
a budding serial killer."
334
00:11:24,845 --> 00:11:26,215
And yes, there
happened to be a DQ
335
00:11:26,303 --> 00:11:27,973
near one of the stores,
so I got myself
336
00:11:28,053 --> 00:11:29,853
an Oreo-Speedwagon.
Sue me.
337
00:11:29,929 --> 00:11:31,639
I'm a serial killer?
338
00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,640
You're drinking a Blizzard
next to a fucking dead person.
339
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:36,510
- I didn't kill anybody!
- Neither did I!
340
00:11:36,595 --> 00:11:37,755
Why can't we remember
anything?
341
00:11:37,845 --> 00:11:39,965
Fuck, man, I don't know,
all right?
342
00:11:40,053 --> 00:11:41,973
We were watching WKRP...
343
00:11:42,053 --> 00:11:44,143
- Yeah.
- And then we got that pizza.
344
00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:46,180
Then we ordered all that PCP...
345
00:11:46,261 --> 00:11:47,851
Oh.
346
00:11:47,929 --> 00:11:49,969
We did PCP all night.
We should've known.
347
00:11:50,053 --> 00:11:52,053
Every time we're
about to go too far,
348
00:11:52,136 --> 00:11:53,756
we say "Let's not order PCP,"
349
00:11:53,845 --> 00:11:55,595
- and then what do we do?
- Order PCP.
350
00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:57,259
- We order PCP!
- God damn it!
351
00:11:57,345 --> 00:11:59,465
Okay, this
is gonna be all right.
352
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:00,893
Who's gonna miss one guy?
353
00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:02,301
Yeah, there's, like,
a billion people
354
00:12:02,387 --> 00:12:04,717
in the world.
It's gonna be fine.
355
00:12:04,804 --> 00:12:06,724
- Motherfuck me!
- Oh, come on, y'all!
356
00:12:08,178 --> 00:12:09,718
Freeze!
This is the police!
357
00:12:09,804 --> 00:12:11,604
Hands in the air!
358
00:12:18,303 --> 00:12:20,353
You are very thoughtful,
my friend.
359
00:12:20,428 --> 00:12:22,348
Much appreciated.
360
00:12:22,428 --> 00:12:24,718
Okay, okay.
Hey.
361
00:12:24,804 --> 00:12:26,224
Hey, hey!
362
00:12:26,303 --> 00:12:27,763
Everybody knows
that a champagne tower
363
00:12:27,845 --> 00:12:29,505
has to be
at least six stories tall.
364
00:12:29,595 --> 00:12:31,095
And you have got
to be kidding me
365
00:12:31,178 --> 00:12:32,598
if you think you're gonna put
that chafing dish
366
00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:33,599
center stage,
where the lava cake
367
00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:34,719
is supposed to live.
368
00:12:34,804 --> 00:12:36,104
Swap that shit out.
369
00:12:36,178 --> 00:12:37,848
Bride-to-be
is very particular.
370
00:12:37,929 --> 00:12:39,549
I'm sorry, Mo.
I know Tiff can be a little--
371
00:12:39,637 --> 00:12:40,757
Great.
She can be great.
372
00:12:40,845 --> 00:12:41,885
That's what she is.
373
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:43,680
- Right?
374
00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:45,262
I love anybody who knows
exactly what they want.
375
00:12:45,345 --> 00:12:46,635
- Don't you?
- Oh, totally.
376
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:48,300
- All right.
377
00:12:48,387 --> 00:12:50,097
Are you okay, Blair?
I mean, you didn't even dump
378
00:12:50,178 --> 00:12:51,638
any fruit punch in that vodka.
379
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,430
Yeah, no, I'm--
yeah, no, I'm good.
380
00:12:53,512 --> 00:12:55,302
Yeah, I'm just
a little overwhelmed
381
00:12:55,387 --> 00:12:56,757
and confused.
382
00:12:56,845 --> 00:12:58,635
Conwhelmed.
Overfused.
383
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:00,510
There's not really
a sniglet for it.
384
00:13:00,595 --> 00:13:02,465
Motherfucker,
what did you just say?
385
00:13:02,553 --> 00:13:04,643
Sniglet.
It's when you take two words
386
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,680
and combine them to make
one hilarious word,
387
00:13:06,762 --> 00:13:08,642
like, uh, "snack-mosphere."
388
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:10,930
It's the pocket of air
inside of a chip bag.
389
00:13:11,011 --> 00:13:12,801
Oh, okay, that is hilarious.
390
00:13:12,887 --> 00:13:14,217
- At first, I thought you said
391
00:13:14,303 --> 00:13:15,763
something that made me
want to stab you.
392
00:13:15,845 --> 00:13:17,045
- Oh, God, no, never.
- Okay.
393
00:13:17,136 --> 00:13:18,176
If there's one thing
that I know
394
00:13:18,261 --> 00:13:19,351
from the hundreds of calls
395
00:13:19,428 --> 00:13:20,638
and faxes and Post-Its
396
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,100
that I got from Tiff,
397
00:13:22,178 --> 00:13:23,428
it's that she's passionate.
398
00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:25,142
Okay?
She loves hard,
399
00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:26,470
and she loves you.
400
00:13:26,553 --> 00:13:28,263
Oh, she's something.
401
00:13:29,512 --> 00:13:31,392
Um, speaking of sniglets,
402
00:13:31,470 --> 00:13:33,600
Tiff's parents can be...
ooh, uh...
403
00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:35,219
what's the best way
to say this?
404
00:13:35,303 --> 00:13:36,263
Horribly racist?
405
00:13:36,345 --> 00:13:37,965
Oh, circle gets the square.
406
00:13:38,053 --> 00:13:39,763
- Oh, and that reminds me.
407
00:13:39,845 --> 00:13:41,675
when I was shredding,
I came across
408
00:13:41,762 --> 00:13:44,472
some Georgina documents.
Would you have any idea why--
409
00:13:44,553 --> 00:13:46,433
The--the...
410
00:13:47,553 --> 00:13:50,683
I've got to get the DJ
to play some The The.
411
00:13:50,762 --> 00:13:52,552
I love those guys.
412
00:13:52,637 --> 00:13:55,887
Ah, Georgina documents.
Yeah, um, I think that
413
00:13:55,970 --> 00:13:58,010
maybe we purchased
some Georgina shares
414
00:13:58,095 --> 00:13:59,965
back in the day to, you know,
offset our capital gains.
415
00:14:00,053 --> 00:14:02,473
Aha!
416
00:14:02,553 --> 00:14:05,303
Ask the DJ if he has any A-ha,
'cause I like those guys, too.
417
00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:06,427
I'm on it.
418
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,052
Hey, Blair?
419
00:14:08,136 --> 00:14:09,966
You might want
to slow down a little bit.
420
00:14:10,053 --> 00:14:11,893
- Take it easy.
- Take it easy, Mo.
421
00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:16,643
Where's my waiter friend?
422
00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:18,430
- Thank you for coming with me.
- Ha, well, you owe me.
423
00:14:18,512 --> 00:14:20,892
I know, but baby,
for the last time,
424
00:14:20,970 --> 00:14:22,890
Mo is, and has always been,
425
00:14:22,970 --> 00:14:24,850
just my boss, okay?
426
00:14:24,929 --> 00:14:25,969
Okay.
427
00:14:26,053 --> 00:14:27,933
- Okay.
- Okay, I guess.
428
00:14:28,011 --> 00:14:29,351
Honey,
you didn't tell me
429
00:14:29,428 --> 00:14:30,298
you hired a band.
430
00:14:30,387 --> 00:14:32,007
How fun!
431
00:14:32,095 --> 00:14:34,175
Hey, you know
any Weird Al Yankovic?
432
00:14:34,261 --> 00:14:36,391
- Oh, Eat It . Yeah, big fan.
- No, we're not a band.
433
00:14:36,470 --> 00:14:38,390
No, this is Dawn.
Dawn works with Blair.
434
00:14:38,470 --> 00:14:40,510
Oh, hey, nice to meet you, Don.
435
00:14:40,595 --> 00:14:42,255
Actually, I'm Dawn.
436
00:14:42,345 --> 00:14:43,845
Oh, you're Dawn?
437
00:14:43,929 --> 00:14:45,759
Mo won't shut up about you.
438
00:14:45,845 --> 00:14:47,545
You really messed him up, girl.
439
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,757
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
440
00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:51,095
You are thinking
of another Dawn.
441
00:14:51,178 --> 00:14:52,718
- Sure.
- Another Don,
442
00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:53,974
- who is a man.
- Really?
443
00:14:54,053 --> 00:14:56,353
Then why did Mo buy me
this dress?
444
00:14:59,512 --> 00:15:02,012
- This is my husband, Spencer.
- Mm-hmm.
445
00:15:02,095 --> 00:15:03,595
You're black? Huh.
446
00:15:03,679 --> 00:15:05,009
Mo always calls you
"white boy."
447
00:15:05,095 --> 00:15:05,965
Really?
448
00:15:06,053 --> 00:15:07,893
I'm Suki, Mo's date...
449
00:15:07,970 --> 00:15:09,180
for the night.
450
00:15:09,261 --> 00:15:10,971
- Ladies.
451
00:15:11,053 --> 00:15:12,143
After you, Henri.
452
00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:14,970
♪ low synth music ♪
453
00:15:18,929 --> 00:15:20,849
Hey. Hi.
454
00:15:20,929 --> 00:15:22,429
How you doing?
- Uh, yes.
455
00:15:22,512 --> 00:15:24,432
Right, let's cross.
456
00:15:24,512 --> 00:15:26,602
- Hey.
457
00:15:26,679 --> 00:15:28,889
Your voice is amazing,
all right?
458
00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:31,100
I mean, seriously,
you're a triple threat.
459
00:15:31,178 --> 00:15:32,848
You can sing and you can dance
and you don't fall down.
460
00:15:32,929 --> 00:15:34,049
Come on, let's go back
to my house and celebrate.
461
00:15:34,136 --> 00:15:35,596
I think it's aired out
by now, so--
462
00:15:35,679 --> 00:15:36,759
Great, great, but actually,
463
00:15:36,845 --> 00:15:37,715
everyone's going to my place,
464
00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:39,394
so let's do that first,
465
00:15:39,470 --> 00:15:41,220
and then we can go sleep
at your place after.
466
00:15:41,303 --> 00:15:43,433
Or we skip your place
and just come back to my place
467
00:15:43,512 --> 00:15:45,222
and, uh, have some gay sex.
468
00:15:45,303 --> 00:15:47,053
Okay,
so we've been over this.
469
00:15:47,136 --> 00:15:49,296
You can just call it sex.
Now come on.
470
00:15:49,387 --> 00:15:51,047
I want to show my friends
my little Keither Sutherland.
471
00:15:51,136 --> 00:15:52,926
I know, but what if
someone I know sees me?
472
00:15:53,011 --> 00:15:54,471
Well,
if they're at my party,
473
00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:56,013
they're probably
a friend of Dorothy's, so...
474
00:15:56,095 --> 00:15:58,345
- Now come on.
- No, I can't, I can't.
475
00:15:58,428 --> 00:15:59,888
Okay?
Just...
476
00:15:59,970 --> 00:16:00,850
come with me.
Come back to my--
477
00:16:00,929 --> 00:16:02,929
- No. Keith...
- What?
478
00:16:03,011 --> 00:16:05,011
This is a really big night
for me,
479
00:16:05,095 --> 00:16:07,595
and I want to celebrate it
with my friends,
480
00:16:07,679 --> 00:16:09,639
my cast-mates,
and my boyfriend.
481
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,890
But if you can't do that,
why don't you just go out
482
00:16:12,011 --> 00:16:14,011
with your Wall Street
buddies?
483
00:16:16,637 --> 00:16:18,097
Except for the tiny hiccup
484
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,138
when Mo's date
guessed my dad's name,
485
00:16:20,220 --> 00:16:21,970
this is going well.
486
00:16:22,053 --> 00:16:23,603
I gotta hand it to me.
487
00:16:23,679 --> 00:16:25,639
I really pulled this
out of Mo's ass.
488
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,220
I love you too, babe.
489
00:16:28,303 --> 00:16:30,263
Oh, don't look now,
but Mo and my parents
490
00:16:30,345 --> 00:16:32,095
are actually getting along.
491
00:16:32,178 --> 00:16:33,548
And that's how the band
got the name The Downbeats.
492
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,390
You're a regular Red Buttons.
493
00:16:37,470 --> 00:16:38,640
More like a Redd Foxx!
494
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:40,050
More like a Black Panther!
495
00:16:42,470 --> 00:16:44,100
Hey, by the way,
496
00:16:44,178 --> 00:16:45,968
what the fuck is up
with the guy behind us?
497
00:16:46,053 --> 00:16:47,723
I mean, you think
I'm gonna boost
498
00:16:47,804 --> 00:16:48,934
my own silverware,
you big bigots?
499
00:16:49,011 --> 00:16:49,971
- Oh, what? No.
- What?
500
00:16:50,053 --> 00:16:52,223
No.
Just between us, uh...
501
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:54,723
we've had some threats,
uh, with Tiffany.
502
00:16:54,804 --> 00:16:56,394
Uh, ever since
Calvin Klein's daughter
503
00:16:56,470 --> 00:16:57,720
was kidnapped.
504
00:16:57,804 --> 00:16:59,474
Well, that makes sense,
505
00:16:59,553 --> 00:17:01,603
because both of your families
have such great genes.
506
00:17:02,970 --> 00:17:04,140
He's good!
507
00:17:04,220 --> 00:17:07,800
Yeah, it's actually
quite serious.
508
00:17:07,887 --> 00:17:09,097
Mm-hmm.
509
00:17:09,178 --> 00:17:11,258
What's up, ho?
Cute party.
510
00:17:11,345 --> 00:17:14,095
Hey, hos! Blair,
511
00:17:14,178 --> 00:17:15,678
you remember Tosh B'Gosh,
512
00:17:15,762 --> 00:17:17,682
Bunny Bartles,
Kayla James.
513
00:17:17,762 --> 00:17:19,432
Thank you for your support.
514
00:17:19,512 --> 00:17:21,432
Bartles & Jaymes?
That's your slogan, right?
515
00:17:21,512 --> 00:17:22,602
Yeah, we get that a lot.
516
00:17:22,679 --> 00:17:24,259
So champ's over there.
517
00:17:24,345 --> 00:17:26,465
I won't even tell you the year.
'77, oops.
518
00:17:26,553 --> 00:17:29,143
Over here, we've got surf
'n' turf 'n' earth 'n' birth--
519
00:17:29,220 --> 00:17:30,850
lobster, filet,
truffles, caviar.
520
00:17:30,929 --> 00:17:32,549
And for dessert,
Chef Jean-Georges
521
00:17:32,637 --> 00:17:34,757
has whipped up
a culinary miracle:
522
00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:37,795
solid outside,
liquid inside lava cake.
523
00:17:37,887 --> 00:17:39,047
But it's fat-free, right?
524
00:17:39,136 --> 00:17:40,046
'Cause I'm on
the grapefruit diet.
525
00:17:40,136 --> 00:17:41,006
Cabbage soup.
526
00:17:41,095 --> 00:17:42,755
Lean Cuisine and purge.
527
00:17:42,845 --> 00:17:44,345
Does this place have
a microwave and toilet?
528
00:17:44,428 --> 00:17:46,548
Speaking of, Tiff,
it's so great
529
00:17:46,637 --> 00:17:48,717
that you didn't do the whole
extreme wedding diet thing.
530
00:17:48,804 --> 00:17:51,354
You look so healthy.
531
00:17:51,428 --> 00:17:52,388
Shut up, ho.
532
00:17:52,470 --> 00:17:54,180
You shut up, ho!
533
00:17:54,261 --> 00:17:57,181
Why don't you shut your faces,
you fucking whores?
534
00:17:58,303 --> 00:18:00,183
Come on, girls.
I've got the one sugar
535
00:18:00,261 --> 00:18:02,891
we all still love--
booger.
536
00:18:02,970 --> 00:18:04,930
What's
with the hotel room?
537
00:18:05,011 --> 00:18:06,851
Is it like
an after-party theme?
538
00:18:06,929 --> 00:18:08,349
No, Blair's dad's dead
and his mom's fat,
539
00:18:08,428 --> 00:18:09,968
so it's a whole thing.
540
00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:16,715
♪ Is it loving
in your eyes ♪
541
00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:19,554
♪ All the way ♪
542
00:18:19,637 --> 00:18:21,757
♪ If I listen to your lies ♪
543
00:18:21,845 --> 00:18:24,845
♪ Would you say ♪
544
00:18:24,929 --> 00:18:29,349
♪ I'm a man
without conviction ♪
545
00:18:29,428 --> 00:18:32,218
♪ I'm a man ♪
546
00:18:32,303 --> 00:18:34,763
♪ Who doesn't know ♪
547
00:18:34,845 --> 00:18:37,545
♪ How to sell ♪
548
00:18:37,637 --> 00:18:40,007
♪ A contradiction ♪
549
00:18:40,095 --> 00:18:42,755
♪ You come and go ♪
550
00:18:42,845 --> 00:18:46,425
♪ You come
and go ♪
551
00:18:46,512 --> 00:18:48,012
♪ Karma, karma, karma, karma ♪
552
00:18:48,095 --> 00:18:50,675
♪ Karma chameleon ♪
553
00:18:58,553 --> 00:19:00,013
Look,
do you just want to go?
554
00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:02,675
Why?
So you can lie to me in the cab
555
00:19:02,762 --> 00:19:04,932
about how I didn't definitely
hear what I just heard?
556
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:08,431
Fine,
Mo and I dated, okay?
557
00:19:08,512 --> 00:19:12,222
But for a very short time
a very long time ago.
558
00:19:12,303 --> 00:19:14,303
I wanted to tell you,
but I--I--I--I couldn't,
559
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:16,297
because I knew
you would make me choose
560
00:19:16,387 --> 00:19:18,927
between you and my work,
561
00:19:19,011 --> 00:19:21,391
and I shouldn't have
to make that choice.
562
00:19:21,470 --> 00:19:23,550
Well,
563
00:19:23,637 --> 00:19:25,347
now you do.
564
00:19:25,428 --> 00:19:27,508
You can have me
or you can have him.
565
00:19:27,595 --> 00:19:30,425
- Spence, how--
- Hey, hey. Ha ha!
566
00:19:30,512 --> 00:19:31,972
Look at the two of you.
567
00:19:32,053 --> 00:19:33,223
Like mind meld, right?
568
00:19:33,303 --> 00:19:34,683
Oh, my goodness, indeed.
569
00:19:34,762 --> 00:19:36,852
- Uh, Sucky, right?
- It's Suki.
570
00:19:36,929 --> 00:19:38,599
- Oh, is it?
- Come on.
571
00:19:38,679 --> 00:19:40,719
Every guy in here's wearing
damn near the same thing.
572
00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:42,184
I mean, you don't see us being
573
00:19:42,261 --> 00:19:44,351
all upset about it,
right, Spence?
574
00:19:44,428 --> 00:19:46,298
Yeah,
don't be upset.
575
00:19:46,387 --> 00:19:49,097
Just be happy that Mo
bought us both these dresses.
576
00:19:49,178 --> 00:19:50,798
Mo didn't buy this dress
or me.
577
00:19:52,553 --> 00:19:53,643
Okay...
578
00:19:58,512 --> 00:20:01,512
♪ Amazing Blair ♪
579
00:20:01,595 --> 00:20:03,505
♪ How drunk I--♪
580
00:20:03,595 --> 00:20:05,425
Hello?
581
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,640
Hey, pretty lady.
582
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:09,550
Ah, hey.
583
00:20:09,637 --> 00:20:11,597
Rough night?
584
00:20:11,679 --> 00:20:13,889
Oof.
Yeah.
585
00:20:13,970 --> 00:20:14,760
You?
586
00:20:14,845 --> 00:20:16,885
Mm.
587
00:20:16,970 --> 00:20:19,050
I've been lying to Spencer.
588
00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:23,045
I've been lying to myself.
589
00:20:27,887 --> 00:20:29,137
Take it easy, Spencer.
590
00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:30,300
Don't tell me to take it easy.
591
00:20:30,387 --> 00:20:31,927
I know you steal for a living,
592
00:20:32,011 --> 00:20:33,181
but that doesn't mean
I'm gonna let you
593
00:20:33,261 --> 00:20:35,141
steal my girl,
motherfucker!
594
00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:37,100
Spence, maybe
could we do this outside?
595
00:20:37,178 --> 00:20:39,548
I would love
to do this outside.
596
00:20:39,637 --> 00:20:41,347
Spence, this party
is about Tiff and Blair,
597
00:20:41,428 --> 00:20:42,928
- not Dawn and me.
- Blair? Blair?
598
00:20:43,011 --> 00:20:44,801
Here, boy!
599
00:20:44,887 --> 00:20:46,387
Oh, my God.
Blair!
600
00:20:46,470 --> 00:20:48,350
Just tell me what to do.
601
00:20:48,428 --> 00:20:50,178
You're so smart
and so together,
602
00:20:50,261 --> 00:20:52,931
and I trust you more
than I trust myself right now.
603
00:20:53,011 --> 00:20:55,681
Mm, that's the nicest thing
anyone's said to me
604
00:20:55,762 --> 00:20:58,102
in a long time.
605
00:20:58,178 --> 00:21:00,218
And the dumbest.
606
00:21:00,303 --> 00:21:02,143
Blair, I don't have
shit together,
607
00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:04,890
but if you're asking me
if you should marry Tiff--
608
00:21:06,261 --> 00:21:08,101
- Blair!
- Oh, boy.
609
00:21:08,178 --> 00:21:10,598
- Okay, shush, shush, shush.
- Go, go, go, go, go, go.
610
00:21:10,679 --> 00:21:13,929
Whoa!
Who's this lady?
611
00:21:14,011 --> 00:21:15,471
You asshole.
612
00:21:15,553 --> 00:21:17,393
While you've been in here,
getting shitfaced,
613
00:21:17,470 --> 00:21:19,260
our reputation's out there,
getting butt-fucked
614
00:21:19,345 --> 00:21:20,595
in front of
a live studio audience.
615
00:21:20,679 --> 00:21:21,969
- Get up.
- Okay.
616
00:21:22,053 --> 00:21:23,303
- Get up!
- Okay, okay.
617
00:21:23,387 --> 00:21:24,717
- Oh! Okay, look.
618
00:21:24,804 --> 00:21:26,764
I'm s--I'm bad at parties.
619
00:21:26,845 --> 00:21:28,545
No, you're bad at me!
Okay, all you had to do
620
00:21:28,637 --> 00:21:31,387
was show up and smile,
and you couldn't even do that.
621
00:21:31,470 --> 00:21:33,720
After everything
I have put up with--
622
00:21:33,804 --> 00:21:35,394
shitty apartments,
the lonely nights--
623
00:21:35,470 --> 00:21:37,600
I tried everything
to make this work,
624
00:21:37,679 --> 00:21:39,179
because I love you.
625
00:21:39,261 --> 00:21:41,471
You're the only one
who even liked me
626
00:21:41,553 --> 00:21:44,263
in spite of my name,
not because of it, okay?
627
00:21:44,345 --> 00:21:47,845
And now I don't even know
if you like me at all anymore.
628
00:21:47,929 --> 00:21:49,719
Do you even want
to get married? Huh?
629
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,850
Uh...
630
00:21:55,929 --> 00:21:57,509
Oh, come on, Tiffany!
631
00:21:59,387 --> 00:22:00,547
Listen, Spencer,
632
00:22:00,637 --> 00:22:02,597
I don't want your girl,
okay?
633
00:22:02,679 --> 00:22:04,139
In fact, I don't ever want
to see her again,
634
00:22:04,220 --> 00:22:05,640
which is why after we wrap up
635
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,390
these last few deals we got,
I'm gonna ship her off
636
00:22:07,470 --> 00:22:08,850
to the Leighman Brothers'
satellite office
637
00:22:08,929 --> 00:22:10,009
in Connecticut.
638
00:22:10,095 --> 00:22:11,715
- Bullshit.
- It's true.
639
00:22:11,804 --> 00:22:13,054
She'll never go for that.
She'll quit.
640
00:22:13,136 --> 00:22:14,546
Exactly.
641
00:22:14,637 --> 00:22:16,637
You want her home.
I want her gone.
642
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,640
Win-win.
643
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,050
Tiff, Tiff, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
644
00:22:20,136 --> 00:22:21,926
Please, please,
just talk to me, baby, come on.
645
00:22:22,011 --> 00:22:23,431
- Where're you going?
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
646
00:22:23,512 --> 00:22:24,642
No.
- Kids, kids, Tiff--Tiff--
647
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,600
W-d-wha-hey!
Live from New York,
648
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:29,679
it is Friday night,
with your musical guest,
649
00:22:29,762 --> 00:22:32,182
DJ Brian--you have
a terrible fucking name--
650
00:22:32,261 --> 00:22:34,511
and your host, me.
651
00:22:34,595 --> 00:22:37,755
But I wanted to say,
uh, thank you all for coming.
652
00:22:37,845 --> 00:22:39,505
It's a--it's
a wonderful occasion.
653
00:22:39,595 --> 00:22:41,965
Tiff there, Blair here, right?
654
00:22:42,053 --> 00:22:43,393
It's great? Um...
655
00:22:43,470 --> 00:22:44,850
Blair wants to say
a few words.
656
00:22:44,929 --> 00:22:46,389
- No, no.
- Yes, to his soulmate.
657
00:22:46,470 --> 00:22:48,890
To his little love-bunny, Tiff.
658
00:22:48,970 --> 00:22:50,430
So go ahead
and take it away.
659
00:22:50,512 --> 00:22:53,012
Uh, thank you, Mo.
660
00:22:53,095 --> 00:22:55,925
I guess I should take a minute
to...say how I feel.
661
00:22:56,011 --> 00:22:57,641
Oh, yeah.
Let's do that.
662
00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,350
The truth is...
663
00:22:59,428 --> 00:23:02,298
♪ mournful synth music ♪
664
00:23:04,553 --> 00:23:05,763
The truth is...
665
00:23:14,595 --> 00:23:16,465
The truth is...
666
00:23:16,553 --> 00:23:18,013
Help, help, help, help,
help, help! Help!
667
00:23:18,095 --> 00:23:19,595
- Get Tiffany.
668
00:23:19,679 --> 00:23:20,929
- I'm sorry, sorry--
669
00:23:21,011 --> 00:23:22,551
- Ughh!
- Ohh!
670
00:23:22,637 --> 00:23:24,297
What's happening?
What's happening?
671
00:23:24,387 --> 00:23:26,467
No! We didn't know
where else to go.
672
00:23:26,553 --> 00:23:28,303
We did a bad thing.
I think it's time to break out
673
00:23:28,387 --> 00:23:31,097
those Mayor Koch photos
in your safe!
674
00:23:31,178 --> 00:23:32,048
Everyone on the ground now!
675
00:23:34,178 --> 00:23:35,718
I'm okay, everybody!
676
00:23:35,804 --> 00:23:37,854
- Oh!
677
00:23:37,929 --> 00:23:39,929
It's warm!
678
00:23:40,011 --> 00:23:41,971
It's lukewarm!
679
00:23:42,053 --> 00:23:43,553
Oh, shit.
680
00:23:43,637 --> 00:23:45,717
E-e-everybody just calm down.
Calm down.
681
00:23:45,804 --> 00:23:47,184
- Whoa!
- You'll never take me alive!
682
00:23:52,595 --> 00:23:54,845
- What the fuck?
683
00:23:56,929 --> 00:23:57,929
Got you!
684
00:23:58,011 --> 00:23:59,431
Yeah, yeah!
685
00:23:59,512 --> 00:24:01,142
Oh, my God,
that got dark, right?
686
00:24:01,220 --> 00:24:03,100
You just got pranked, asshole.
687
00:24:03,178 --> 00:24:04,928
The cops have been
following us for miles.
688
00:24:05,011 --> 00:24:07,261
Those aren't cops.
They're fucking actors.
689
00:24:07,345 --> 00:24:09,135
Brendan
books a pilot every year.
690
00:24:09,220 --> 00:24:10,300
- Great job, guys.
- Thank you.
691
00:24:10,387 --> 00:24:12,547
What about the dead bodies?
692
00:24:12,637 --> 00:24:14,177
Those are cadavers.
I rented them from the morgue.
693
00:24:14,261 --> 00:24:17,891
Mo, this is
so fucking...
694
00:24:17,970 --> 00:24:19,510
nasty!
695
00:24:19,595 --> 00:24:21,715
- God, you got us.
696
00:24:21,804 --> 00:24:23,394
Look, no,
what's fucking nasty
697
00:24:23,470 --> 00:24:24,890
is your tried to run
the LaGuardia Spread
698
00:24:24,970 --> 00:24:26,850
with my money,
that you gave him.
699
00:24:26,929 --> 00:24:29,009
Payback's a bitch,
and I'm the son of one.
700
00:24:29,095 --> 00:24:30,505
- Classic Mo.
- Tiff, are you
701
00:24:30,595 --> 00:24:32,715
all right?
I'm sorry.
702
00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:34,854
- Okay.
703
00:24:34,929 --> 00:24:36,469
I'm going home.
- Come on, I-I'm sorry.
704
00:24:36,553 --> 00:24:37,933
We are too.
705
00:24:38,011 --> 00:24:39,471
Come on, Dawn.
We're leaving.
706
00:24:39,553 --> 00:24:41,553
I'm gonna meet you
at the house, okay?
707
00:24:41,637 --> 00:24:43,007
No. What?
No, we are leaving.
708
00:24:43,095 --> 00:24:45,345
- Let's go.
- No, babe--
709
00:24:45,428 --> 00:24:46,598
Hey, Spencer, don't grab her.
710
00:24:46,679 --> 00:24:47,889
Mind your fucking business.
711
00:24:47,970 --> 00:24:49,140
Girl, let's go.
Let's go.
712
00:24:49,220 --> 00:24:50,600
- I said let's go!
- Ouch!
713
00:24:50,679 --> 00:24:51,599
- Stop playing with me--what?
- Hey!
714
00:24:51,679 --> 00:24:53,549
Mo!
Damn it. Mo!
715
00:24:53,637 --> 00:24:54,467
- Hey, hey, I fights dirty!
- Spencer, stop!
716
00:24:54,553 --> 00:24:56,473
- I fight dirty.
- No.
717
00:24:56,553 --> 00:24:58,513
You're so lucky
I work with my hands.
718
00:25:00,136 --> 00:25:01,966
So this is it?
719
00:25:02,053 --> 00:25:04,053
You're gonna stay here
with him?
720
00:25:04,136 --> 00:25:06,426
He's gonna move you
to Leighman's office
721
00:25:06,512 --> 00:25:09,012
in Connecticut
so you'll quit.
722
00:25:09,095 --> 00:25:10,675
♪ melancholy music ♪
723
00:25:10,762 --> 00:25:12,472
Yep.
724
00:25:12,553 --> 00:25:14,183
You two deserve each other.
725
00:25:14,261 --> 00:25:15,801
I'll see you again,
sucker punch.
726
00:25:19,762 --> 00:25:20,802
Is that true, Mo?
727
00:25:22,762 --> 00:25:26,392
Um, which part?
728
00:25:37,261 --> 00:25:39,801
♪ Let's dance ♪
729
00:25:39,887 --> 00:25:41,507
- ♪ Put on your red shoes
730
00:25:41,595 --> 00:25:43,755
♪ And dance the blues ♪
731
00:25:45,261 --> 00:25:48,051
Oh, my God.
732
00:25:48,136 --> 00:25:50,256
- Keith?
733
00:25:50,345 --> 00:25:52,425
- Wow.
- You like?
734
00:25:52,512 --> 00:25:53,432
Wow.
735
00:25:53,512 --> 00:25:55,012
I didn't know what to wear.
736
00:25:55,095 --> 00:25:56,595
Yeah, I can tell.
737
00:25:56,679 --> 00:25:58,099
Yeah, you're a winter,
not a spring,
738
00:25:58,178 --> 00:26:00,138
- but you look cute.
- You like it?
739
00:26:00,220 --> 00:26:01,850
Oh, my God, did you
pierce your ear
740
00:26:01,929 --> 00:26:03,509
- with your tie pin?
- Yeah, a lot of blood,
741
00:26:03,595 --> 00:26:05,795
and then even more blood
when I realized I pierced
742
00:26:05,887 --> 00:26:07,387
- the wrong one first.
- You pierced the wrong one.
743
00:26:07,470 --> 00:26:08,850
- It's a lot of rules.
- Yeah.
744
00:26:08,929 --> 00:26:11,299
Fuck it.
Let's dance.
745
00:26:11,387 --> 00:26:14,887
♪ If you say run ♪
746
00:26:14,970 --> 00:26:17,010
♪ I'll run with you ♪
747
00:26:20,470 --> 00:26:23,220
♪ And if you say hide ♪
748
00:26:23,303 --> 00:26:24,853
♪ We'll hide ♪
749
00:26:28,220 --> 00:26:29,800
- Fun party.
- Mm.
750
00:26:29,887 --> 00:26:32,387
Happy wife, happy life.
751
00:26:36,095 --> 00:26:37,715
Party's over, Scarface!
752
00:26:37,804 --> 00:26:38,684
No! No, no, no! Wait!
What's happening?
753
00:26:38,762 --> 00:26:40,262
Why are you doing this?
754
00:26:40,345 --> 00:26:44,675
♪ Tremble like a flower ♪
755
00:26:46,220 --> 00:26:47,640
Hey.
756
00:26:48,804 --> 00:26:50,264
Hey.
757
00:26:50,345 --> 00:26:51,215
Hey.
758
00:26:51,303 --> 00:26:53,053
Did you just see the...
759
00:26:54,261 --> 00:26:56,051
Dawn, I'm really confused
right now.
760
00:26:58,970 --> 00:27:00,850
♪ Let's dance ♪
761
00:27:00,929 --> 00:27:02,429
Ooh, bad news, Shi-shi.
762
00:27:02,512 --> 00:27:04,222
Yeah, Doc says
I gotta be on bed rest.
763
00:27:04,303 --> 00:27:05,683
I know, and I so wanted
to be there
764
00:27:05,762 --> 00:27:07,432
with you and the kids,
765
00:27:07,512 --> 00:27:08,722
and you know how much
I love your parents,
766
00:27:08,804 --> 00:27:10,394
but, uh--
767
00:27:10,470 --> 00:27:11,890
I just gotta stay here.
768
00:27:11,970 --> 00:27:13,220
What?
769
00:27:13,303 --> 00:27:14,893
Music?
Uh...
770
00:27:14,970 --> 00:27:16,850
Yeah, it's fucking Friday.
In the yard,
771
00:27:16,929 --> 00:27:18,599
there's ghetto-blasters
everywhere.
772
00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:20,099
Look, babe, I gotta go.
I'm--I'm feeling sick.
773
00:27:24,136 --> 00:27:25,966
A little white lie
never hurt anybody.
774
00:27:27,595 --> 00:27:29,255
What other lies
have you told, Keith?
775
00:27:30,387 --> 00:27:31,797
Who the fuck are you?
776
00:27:31,887 --> 00:27:33,927
- I'm Agent Missy Mills.
- Deb Fox.
777
00:27:34,011 --> 00:27:35,721
We're with the SEC.
778
00:27:35,804 --> 00:27:38,014
That's Securities
and Exchange Commission.
779
00:27:38,095 --> 00:27:40,215
You've been a bad boy,
haven't you, Keith?
780
00:27:40,303 --> 00:27:42,643
We'll be in touch.
781
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:45,140
Don't leave town.
782
00:27:45,220 --> 00:27:47,100
♪ Into my arms ♪
783
00:27:47,178 --> 00:27:51,508
♪ And tremble like a flower ♪
784
00:28:05,345 --> 00:28:07,595
♪ Let's dance ♪
785
00:28:07,679 --> 00:28:09,429
♪ Put on your red shoes ♪
786
00:28:09,512 --> 00:28:13,262
♪ And dance the blues ♪
787
00:28:13,345 --> 00:28:15,845
♪ Let's dance ♪
788
00:28:15,929 --> 00:28:19,549
♪ Under the moonlight ♪
789
00:28:19,637 --> 00:28:22,257
♪ The serious moonlight ♪
51641
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