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* I know I can't always win
I can't do anything

* I do more than dream,
I think

* You make everything,
everything just right

* So alive

* Life is good
when you're around

* Nothing can bring me down

* I can't believe
what I have found

* Nothing can hold me down

* One thing I have to know
Just how far we could go

* I want to go outside
and show the whole world

* That everything I've got
some say is not a lot

* But it's what I want

* Life is good
when you're around

* Nothing can bring me down

* I can't believe
what I have found

* Nothing can hold me down

* You wait to hear my call

* You know just what to say

* How could you be so cool?

* Life is good
when you're around

* Nothing can bring me down
* Nothing can bring me down

* I can't believe
what I have found

* Nothing can hold me down

* Life is good

* Uh! Oh! Uh! Oh! Yeah!

REPORTER: Wow!
This is amazing!

I think half of Palm Beach
has turned out

for the world premiere
of Spy Teen II.

(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

And I see the limo now
with teen heartthrob
and star of Spy Teen II,

Mister Eddie Tudor!

(CROWD CHEERING)

* You're a superstar

* Shining like these people

Congratulations
on the movie, Eddie!

Oh, yeah.

* You're a superstar

Oh, yeah.

Hey, Palm Beach!

Your fans are
waiting for you!

* Don't take for granted

REPORTER: They're going crazy!
There's thousands of them!

Someday, that'll be me.

POP: Turn that junk off,
will you?

Come on, hurry up.
Get dressed.

You're going to
be late for school.

Got a big day
starting tomorrow, you know.

We've gotta
work this weekend.

Did you hear that, Pop?
You said "weekend."

That's the time
you're supposed to rest.

Says who? Anyway,
it's the O'Leary Estate.

Have you seen their backyard?
Oh, it's a thing of beauty.

It's going to be you and me
and dirt and worms.

What could be better?

I miss you guys.

(CROWD CHANTING "EDDIE" ON TV)

DIRECTOR:
Action, action, action!

Oh, yeah.

DIRECTOR: Cut!

Look, first of all, it is
one front flip before
you get into the car, eh?

And you have to look
behind you to make sure
they're not following you,

before you peel off.

Listen, if somebody was
chasing you,
you wouldn't look back

to see if they were
still chasing you.
You're stupid!

Now, I'm going to
do two front flips,
'cause I can.

Gunther,
did we get that?

No.

No. Jean-Pierre,
how do you say
director in French?

He's acting like a child!

He is a child!

(SIGHS)

I should have opened a cafe.

Listen, I don't care
what you have to do.
Work it out.

We're happy in Palm Beach.
We want to stay here.

How are you?
Good.

Know your lines?
Yes.

Get your stunts down?
Yes.

Hey, listen up.

People are spreading the word
that you're creating problems
on the set,

and there's a whole
lot of cash riding
on this production.

So if you don't
change your attitude,
they will replace you.

Got it?

Yeah, I got it.

Mmm-mmm.

And another thing,

no more pretend
fainting spells to get
out of work. You hear me?

Yeah, I hear you.

Good.

I'll see you
later, babe.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Bye, Mom.

Hello.

Hey, Elizabeth,
better not lose the stylist,

or you might end up
looking fat like
in your last picture.

I hate you,
Eddie Tudor!

You're getting mighty big
for your britches there, kid.

What does that mean?

It means you're
acting like a little jerk.

You're not that cute little
seven-year-old anymore, Eddie.
You better watch it.

You better watch it, Jerry,
before my mom finds out
you're too old

to read my contracts
and gets a new agent.

Whoa, nice.

(CAR RADIO PLAYING MUSIC)

Hey. What's up,
little man?

Nothing much.
Just reading this book
you gave me. It's awesome.

Yeah, that's great.
Glad you like it.

Yeah, check out
this part.

"Be careful in
the use of mirrors.

"It teaches the actor to look
on the outside and not
the inside of his soul."

That's an important one.

Yeah.

All right,
what does it mean?

Well, I think what
he's saying is that acting
is about real emotions,

not just about
making faces
for the camera.

Oh, like when Eddie Tudor
tells Lady Elizabeth

that she's the prettiest girl
on the pirate ship?

Yeah, like that.

Aye, matey,
I'll never let one
of your pirates free

until I get
my Lady Elizabeth
with me.

Lady Elizabeth, you're
the most beautiful girl
I've ever met.

(CLAPPING)

Thank you.
Thank you.

Good show.

(SIGHS)

All right.
Now it's your turn.

No, I don't...

Come on.

No, I'm not
in the mood today.

Come on, Miles.
No. Come on, I'm tired.

It's the morning.
It's early.

You know what?
It's because you're lazy,

and that's why you just sit
on this lawn chair all day
and do nothing.

Come on.

Fine. A short one.

"If thou didst ever hold me
in thy heart absent thee
from felicity awhile,

"and in this harsh world
draw thy breath in pain,

"to tell my story."

(CLAPPING)

That was great.

Thanks.

It's too bad you got
caught up in cheesy movies
and lost your career.

I didn't lose my career.

I walked away from it
because I became an idiot.

Let's go, Tom!

(SPEAKING IN ITALIAN)

What's he got you
speaking Italian for?

Well, it's good to know
accents for different roles.

Yeah, well, just remember,
we've got a busy
weekend ahead of us.

(SIGHING) Yeah. Pop, look,
I'm not so sure I want to work
with you this weekend.

You think I'm going
to give you money?
You gotta work for money.

I know, I know.
It's just that...

The school has
this acting club called
The Broadway Players, and...

The Broadway what?

Players.

They meet every weekend
and sometimes at night.

I was hoping that
maybe I could join.

So you're going to
join an acting group.

What about work?

Well, maybe I can get a job
in the studio after school
and work on the sets.

You don't know
what you're talking
about, Thomas.

That production
in there
ain't hiring locals.

They're a bunch of pig heads
with no respect
for the working man.

Palm Beach is looking
to kick them out any day now.

And that's why you are
going to go to work this
weekend, learn landscaping,

and that's that.

I don't wanna
learn landscaping.

Landscaping is great work.

I'm not good at it!
And, frankly,
I just hate dirt!

There's money in dirt.
Look, Thomas...

Look, Pop, I'll work
with you this weekend,

but not because I want to.

* Because I want to be sweet
but I want to be wild

* And I want to
fly out of sight

* So, I made a mistake,
and I'll do it again

* But I do the best that I can

* This is me
Can't ignore it

(BELL RINGING)
* Reaching out
Breaking free

Hey, Tommy.
Do Darth Sidious.

His death was
a necessary loss.

Soon, I will have
a new apprentice,

one that's younger
and more powerful.

Hi, Tom.

Hey, Sandy.

Hey, do Eddie Tudor.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, loser!

Did you just
call me a loser?

Yeah, I did.
That's my girlfriend.

A thousand pardons, sir.

Talk to me in a normal voice
or I'm gonna
punch you in the face.

(BELL RINGS)

Ah! Saved by the bell.
That's the luck
of the Irish for you.

* This is me

* This is me

Aye, matey,
drop your sword!

No way, man.

That's not what
a pirate would say.
A pirate would say,

"I'll never drop
me sword to you,
you scurvy dog!"

Uh-oh.

Tom Canty,
I have had it with you!

PRINCIPAL: What's the matter
with you, boy?

Don't you have any interest
in any of your subjects?

(SIGHS)

Well, then what
are we supposed to do
with you?

I can't possibly send you
to detention again,
because it does no good.

What do you want to do
with your life?

I wanna be Eddie Tudor.

Who?

You know, actor.
He's in all the movies

like Pirates of the Peninsula
and Spy Teen.

You want to be an actor?

Yeah, that's what
I want to be.

In all the movies.

I mean,
I have books on
acting and everything.

Then get yourself
in an acting class.

(LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)

But while
you're in my school,

I'm gonna need you to behave
and pay attention.

Okay.

Listen, The Broadway Players
are meeting in the auditorium
this afternoon.

You know what that is?

Yeah.

Then go.

I don't even
want to be an actor.
I wanna take the boat out.

This was supposed
to be my day off.

What can I tell you?
The schedule changed.

This stinks.
I don't get any time
to breathe around this dump.

(TSKING)

I don't want to hear
any more about it.

Well, maybe if I had a dad,

he'd want to
hang out with me,
and I could get out of it.

Okay, enough with
the guilt trip, Eddie.
You have me. That's enough.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Okay, talk to me.
Well, how did it go?

You were supposed to fix it.

No... Hold on.

Eddie, go in the trailer
for a second, okay?

I have to work out
a little problem.

Fine.

Am I hearing this?
'Cause I'm not happy.
Not happy.

* Reaching out
Breaking free

* Breaking free

* Constantly falling forward

* Oh, yeah
I'm just going for it

* This is me

I hate my life.

* More than what you see

* Finding out who I am

Hey.

Hey.

Hey, I was just wondering,
do you guys have
any jobs available?

On the lot?

Yeah.

Come back on Tuesday
from 9:00 to 3:00.

For what?

To fill out an application.

Oh! Oh, oh, I don't know
if I want a job, I just
want to see if there are any.

Well, when you figure it out,
come back on Tuesday
from 9:00 to 3:00.

Okay, thanks.

Hey. Eddie Tudor.

TOM: Psst! Psst! Psst!

Psst! Shh!

I don't want your bodyguard
to beat me up or anything.

I don't have a bodyguard.

You don't?

Who the heck are you?

Tom Canty.

Look, what do you
want from me?
An autograph?

Oh, no. I just wanted
to stop by and say hi.

I don't have many friends,
just a whole bunch
of old people and losers.

Yeah, I can tell.

Yeah. Well,
it's pretty cool that you get
to act in movies all the time.

Oh, you're an actor?

Yeah.

What have you
been in?

This and that...

Well, nothing yet,
but I'm hoping to be.

Why? I mean,
it's not like it's fun
or anything.

It's not like you can take
your boat out, or blow up old
set props when you want to.

It's just,
"Rehearse this and act this,
and smile here and go there."

It's kind of annoying.

Sounds great to me.

You have a dad?

No. No, my parents died.
I live with my grandpa.

You?

Nah, never knew him.

I don't know where he is now.

Oh, that's horrible.

You want to see my boat?

Sure.

Cool.

Wow, that's so awesome!
It's an Ebbtide.

Yeah, I know.

Are you gonna
take it out today?

Well, not right now,
but I do know how.

I had to drive a boat
for my last movie.
I do all my own stunts,

and the special effects people
taught me how.

They're the coolest people
to know on the set.
It's great.

They even taught me
how to hot-wire it.
Just for fun, though.

They made me promise
not to steal a boat.

Still sounds cool to me.

Do you have an Xbox?

No, no.
My Pop's really strict
on stuff like that.

Sometimes we go down
to the local coffee shop

and we can play
some arcade games,
but nothing more than that.

I have an Xbox
back in my trailer.

You do?

Wow. Your mom really
lets you play this?

She has no idea
what I do.

Well, she wasn't always
a producer, but now
she's just busy all the time.

But whatever.
Who cares?

Yeah, my grandpa just works
in people's backyards.

I know Miles Henlon, though.

Yeah, he's an actor. He used
to work on this show
called Palm Beach High.

It was shot on this lot.

And he did a lot of
movies in the '80s.

He met Marlon Brando once.
That's his hero.

Who?

Marlon Brando,

the greatest actor
that ever lived.

Oh.

Whoa, is that your suit?

Yeah.

(LAUGHS) Unbelievable!

You know,
it's not as shiny close up.

Well, that's 'cause they spray
this shiny goo all over it
before I shoot. It's cool.

And that's where you keep
your G4X laser!
Oh, man. That's awesome.

Yeah.

You don't mind
if I try it on, do you?

No, go ahead.
Whatever.

(SIGHS)

Sweet.

Oh, yeah.

Holy cow!
You look just like me!

Unbelievable.
Wait a minute.
Take this.

BOTH: Whoa!

(KNOCKING)

Come in.

We're ready for rehearsal,
Mr. Tudor.

Well, Eddie,
I should be going.

Maybe we can switch it...
Hang out again sometime.

Oh, wait!

See you.

Well?

Oh, yeah?

I'll wait for you outside.

(GROANS)

Hey! Hey!
What are you doing here?
What are you do...

This is Gate L.
I think we just
had an intruder.

Thomas!

EDDIE: Oh, man.
It's his grandfather.

What the bejeepers
is going through
that crazy mind of yours?

You know you had me worried
half to death? You know that?

When you didn't
come home from school,

I knew exactly
where to find you.

Now, get in there!

You know, you think
you want to be an actor 'cause
you think it's easy, huh?

Put your seat belt on.

Life is about hard work
and sacrifice.

You don't get
something for nothing,
Thomas. You gotta work.

And you work hard,
good things will happen.

What do I always tell you?

Well, what do I
always tell you?

You know, a crazy person
could have snatched you
right up off the street

and kidnapped you.

Look,

I try to be good to you.
I know you had it hard.

And, well, I haven't
had to be a real parent
in a long time.

And the only reason
I push you

is 'cause I love you, kid.

Let's just go to work.

Okay.

Okay, Eddie.
You know what the scene is.

Start at one,
pick up the laser,
do a little banana.

(WITH AN ECHOEY VOICE)
Eddie, you getting this?

And after you make your banana
and land on two,
go camera left and deliver.

Got it? Good.
Roll sound!

All right, everybody.
Let's get a solid one.

Rolling!

(IN ECHOEY VOICE)
And action!

Eddie, Eddie.
Let's go.

Laser. Pick up...
Banana. Two. Banana!

Eddie! Eddie!

Come on, kid,
we did it 1,000 times.

(VOICES DISTORTING)

JEAN-PIERRE:
He's not supposed to faint.

Ugh.
What is that?

You know what this is.
Stop it.

I'm not touching
that stuff.

Well, you used to think
it was funny.
You used to make me laugh.

Well, I can make you laugh.

Hey, listen,
let's just do the work.

Lay the stuff out
and then we can
go home for dinner.

Knock, knock.

What?

Knock, knock.

(SIGHS)

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

What?

Not "what," "who."
Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting cow...
Moo.

That's a good one.
Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting cow...
Moo.

Are you crazy?
What? Are you high?

No. You're funny.

I'm funny?
Yeah.

What's gotten
into you, Tom? Hmm?

Oh, no. I'm not Tom.
I'm Eddie Tudor.
I'm an actor.

Tom's back at my trailer.
We switched places.
It's good to meet you.

You know,
you gotta stop this.
You're starting to scare me.

Well, I'm not Tom.
Just look at my face.

We switched clothes
and everything.

You're going to give your Pop
a heart attack.

No. You don't get it.
You're not my Pop.

Fine, Tom.

If that's the way you feel,
then I'm heading home.

I don't feel much
like work today.

No. I didn't mean it
like that. It's...

(SIGHS)

It's just... I'm not Tom.

(GRUNTS)

You can't keep
working him so hard.

Oh, Jerry.
Don't be so dramatic.

JERRY: You don't think
maybe you're pushing him
too hard, Harlin?

HARLIN: He's faking.
You've seen him
do it 100 times.

He's just
looking for attention.

Ah! Maybe that's
'cause he needs it.

What do you mean
by that?

You haven't even been
in there to see him.

HARLIN: Look, Jerry,
I'm a single mom.
I'm doing the best that I can.

I have been working very hard
to make a better life
for that kid,

and you're going to
throw it in my face?

Besides, he's passed out,
for Christ's sake. He wouldn't
know if I was in there or not.

Let's go, kid.
The jig is up.

I said let's go.
We know you're faking.

I'm really sorry.

It all happened so fast.
I just came in here
to see Eddie Tudor.

And then we
switched clothes and
the production assistant...

Hold it!
What are you
talking about?

I thought you knew.

I'm not Eddie.
My name's Tom Canty.

(GROANS)

Oh, my God.

I've had it.
We've all had it.

I know your
little fainting spell
was a put-on.

Huh?

It was a fake.

I'm saying I know
your faint was a fake.

How can you fake a faint?

Oh, you can fake a faint.

You can't fake a faint.

I've seen you do
it all over the lot.

The stunt guys
taught you how,
three movies ago.

You've got to get
your priorities
straight, Eddie.

I'm not Eddie.

You're driving me crazy.
And I have to
tell you the truth.

They're thinking
of replacing you.

They think you've
lost your appeal.

Losing appeal?
Eddie Tudor?
Are they crazy?

You've got to get
your act together.

Know your lines, come on time,
no mouthing off,
no practical jokes,

no fainting spells,
and no telling me
you're not who you are!

Believe me, kid,

you say that
to one person out there,
and you are toast.

They'll pull the plug
on this production,
your mother will lose her job,

and no one will
work with you again.

Could that really happen
to someone like Eddie Tudor?

It's show business.
You bet your butt it can.

Miles.

Phony actors.

(SIGHS)

Hey.

Hey, pal.
What's going on?

Nothing much.
Got a phone?

You got someone to call?

Yeah.

Why don't you go in the house
and use your own phone?

He's sort of mad at me.

We haven't met.
I'm Eddie Tudor.

Now, why don't
you stop that?

That's going to do
nothing for you
but get you grounded.

I'm serious.

Yeah, so am I.

What is wrong
with you people?
You're all crazy.

I mean, don't you know
who's who around here?

Look at me.
I'm Eddie Tudor!

POP: Tom, get in here!

(SPEAKING IN ITALIAN)

Hey.

(SPEAKING IN ITALIAN)

What's up with that kid?

(LAUGHS)

Looking good.

(POP WHISTLES)

Thomas, dinner's ready!

What?

Do you have
anything else to eat?

What?

Well, it's not
a veggie burger,
and I'm a vegetarian.

What do you want
from me? What?

You want to go
to acting classes?

What loser wants to go
to acting classes?

That's what I was saying.

Yeah. Why would
I want to do that?

I'm already a movie star.

You've got to
stop this, Tom.

I'm not Tom.
I'm Eddie Tudor.

And if you don't mind,
I'd like to borrow your phone

so I can call the studio
and have someone come
and pick me up.

Tom is probably looking
for me to switch places
with him again.

You're completely
losing it.

Why don't you just
fix yourself a peanut butter
and jelly sandwich?

There's nothing
I can do with you.

Hopefully, you'll feel
better in the morning.

Now, don't go anywhere.

I'll be back to pick you up
when they're
through with you.

Who?
What?

Who?
Who what?

Who is going to be
through with me, after
they're done doing what?

It's wardrobe.
You're being fitted.

Oh, of course.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Oh, no way.
That was Lady Elizabeth.
I can't believe I did that.

You are a jerk, Eddie.

I'm really sorry.
I didn't mean to.

What?

You're the prettiest girl
I've ever seen.

WOMAN: Ready, Mister Tudor?

I'm really sorry.

* Di, di, di, di, di, di
Di, di, di, di, di, di

* Di, di, di, di, di, di
Di, di, di, di, di, di

* Nah, nah-nah, nah,
nah-nah, nah, nah, nah, nah

* I will fake it
till I make it

All right.
So you know what
you gotta do, right?

You come out,
you hit the mark.

"Oh, yeah."
"Blah, blah, blah."
Water. Good.

* I'm gonna get me
some of that, yo

* Money. Money, money
* Get that money

* I'm gonna get me
some of that

* I'm gonna get me
some of that

* Nah, nah-nah, nah,
nah-nah, nah, nah, nah, nah

* I will fake it
till I make it

(MOUTHING WORDS)

* 'Cause everyday I see
how they do it on TV

* I will fake it
till I make it

Action!

Oh, yeah.

DIRECTOR: Hit him again.

Oh, yeah.

DIRECTOR: Give me
more water! Cut!

* Nah, nah-nah, nah,
nah-nah, nah, nah, nah, nah

* I will fake it
till I make it *

All right, one more time.

Oh, yeah.

That's great.

DIRECTOR: Let's go to lunch.

Hey, where're
you going?

I'm going back
to the studio.

What are you thinking?

You know he won't
like you running around
down there this late.

Does this kid
get to do anything?

(SIGHS)

I saw you on the posters
in Tom's room.

Oh, don't start
in about my career.

I don't want to
hear about it.

And stop talking like
you're somebody else.
You're freaking me out.

Why'd you go from starring
in big movies to just sitting
on a lawn chair all day?

I said lay off it today.

I just want to know
what happened.

I quit.
That's what happened.

I don't blame you.
Acting stinks.

Is your Pop getting to you?
You can't let him do that.

I left the business
because I didn't like
who I was,

not because
I didn't like acting.

I was a nasty person,

especially to those people
who really cared about me.

And soon nobody would work
with me, so it all went away.
It was all gone.

The people who I thought
were my friends,
they were just tag-alongs.

The people who were
really my friends,
they were long gone.

So I moved here,
and here I stay.

Because I like this.
I like this lawn chair.

It's not acting
that stinks, Tom.

It's the person you become
when you don't appreciate
what you have.

Look, just tell the old man
I decided to take a walk
for a while.

MILES: You can't go
down there by yourself.

I'll be fine.

Oh, come on.
Come on, let's hang out.

We'll talk Stanislavsky.

Stanis-whatsky?

Look, I'm leaving.

(KNOCKING)

Uh, come in.

Yeah, the director
wanted me to tell you
that today was a better day.

It's rare that we
make it through a day
without any hassles from you.

He wanted you to know
you did a good job.

He said keep it up.

See you tomorrow?
Don't be late.

I won't.

Hey! What's up?

You'd better
get dressed, kid.
You've got an appearance.

An appearance?
Yeah.

An interview
to promote Spy Teen III.
You remember that one?

Oh, I'm exhausted.

Well, see, that's what happens
when you have a good day.

Okay, I'll get dressed
right away.

Good, and I'll meet you
in the limo in half an hour.

* Let's get up to something

* Weaken the laws of gravity

Tom, are you going
to Players?

Um... No.

Why not?

Uh... I don't know.
Why?

I thought you said
you were going,
that's all.

Oh. Well, what is it?

You know. Acting group.

We're gonna
rehearse some scenes

and decide what play
we're putting up and stuff.

Oh. Do you get paid?

They don't pay you.
It's for fun.

Sounds like
a bunch of losers to me.

Wow. That was mean.

I guess you're
a jerk outside of school.

No wonder you have
no friends.

Wait, I guess I'll go.

Are you running away?

Man, all you people
are crazy in this town.

Are you running
away from home?

Well, yeah.
I guess you could say that.

Look, Tom, I know it's been
tough on you with your Pop,
but you've got to go back.

I'm not going back
to that nuthouse.

Don't say that.
Where are you gonna go?

I'll go back to the set
and switch places
with the real Tom.

Then he'll come back here,
and everything
will make sense.

But first, I'm going to
follow that pretty girl
who just called me a jerk.

Then I'll just follow you
and make sure that you go
straight home after.

Fine, but just don't talk
to me in front of the ladies.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

All right, let's go!

Cool.

Yeah, man,
let's make a move.

Hey.

Take it easy.
We're all set?
Yes, sir.

Cool.

DRAMA TEACHER: Welcome to
our first meeting
of The Broadway Players.

Now, based on
many conversations
I've had with some of you,

I've narrowed down
our first production options
to just a couple.

Our first production
is always Shakespearean,

but none of us
are interested in any of
those droll tragedies

that are done over
and over again by countless
amateurish companies.

So, let me tell you
what we've narrowed
it down to.

We have Comedy of Errors,

(CHILDREN CHEERING)

as well as
Much Ado About Nothing.

What we're gonna do tonight
is we are going to vote.

So, I've got some ballots.

And I think
this will be quite fair.

Here we are. There you go.

What's she even
talking about?

Shakespeare.

Shakespeare?

Hey. Where are you
going now?

Well, I ain't hanging out
with those losers.

They seemed
pretty cool to me.

Well, it isn't.
It's stupid.

And who cares about
Shakespeare, anyway?

The guy's been dead for,
like, 2,000 years.

Come on,
don't be intimidated.

You can always learn.

That's what
school's for, right?

Look, lay off, man.

I mean, why do you
even care what I do,
anyway?

I've known you since
you were a little kid,
Tom. You're my buddy.

I'm going and
don't follow me, okay?

Okay, you can stop
following me now.

Tom is in the trailer
waiting for me to come back
and switch places.

Then I'll be
a movie star again,

and he can go back
to planting trees.

Watch. You'll see.

Hey, I'm Eddie Tudor.
I need to get to my trailer.

You again?
Beat it, kid.

Excuse me?

I said get out of here
and stop playing around.

I don't know
if you know
who I am,

but I need to show up on set
or you'll lose your job.
How about that?

Well, if you were
Eddie Tudor, you'd be
on a plane to Miami.

How about that?

They're not
in there, Tom.

I'm not talking to you.

He's right.

Tom, look.

MILES: All the trailers
are gone.

They must have moved
to a different lot.

No. They're gone, Tom.

Yeah, I can see that.
I wanna know where they went.

They went to Miami.

Miami?

Yeah, they changed locations
to save money.

You'll read all about it
in the paper tomorrow.

It's okay.
There'll be another
production in here soon.

Another production?

What were they thinking?
How could they
leave without me?

They wouldn't go
anywhere without you.

Now, come on.
Snap out of it,
will you?

You're right.
They wouldn't.

Because they
still think I'm there.

Because that little punk
is pretending to be me!

Tom.

Stop calling me Tom,
you crazy psycho!

Now, which way is Miami?

Don't be ridiculous.

Tom!

* If I had a nose
full of nickels

* I'd sneeze them all...

(SIGHS)

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

POP: Hello? Yeah. Yeah.

What is...
What is this about?
I sent you an invoice.

What am I gonna do?

My boat. My boat!

(GROANS)

POP: What? Are you
on speakerphone? You have
an echo. I hope... Yeah.

I can't talk to you!

Look, I just dropped
Epsom salts
all over the bathroom floor.

TOM: Wait. Where are we?

The airport.

Wait. Why?

Your mom's waiting
on the jet. Come on.

No, wait a second.
Where are we going?

Not far. Come on.

I'm not getting on that jet.

Oh, you're getting on
that jet if I have to
drag you on myself.

All right.
Here we are.

Just sit right down here.
Good boy.

Eddie, take your
sunglasses off inside.

It's too obnoxious,
even for you.

Take them off.

I'd like to keep them on.

By the way,
where are we going?

We're going to Miami.

Wait. I thought
I had an appearance
for Spy Teen III.

Oh, you do. In Miami.

Well, why didn't
you tell me this?

Because we all know
how dramatic you are, Eddie.

Um... Excuse me!
Okay.

Can somebody
open those doors?
Okay, okay.

Eddie, Eddie.
Eddie! Sit down. Listen.

We have to go to Miami, okay?

Now, why don't you
just calm down
and we'll talk about it?

Look, I'm not Eddie.
Do you hear me?
I'm not Eddie Tudor.

My name is Tom Canty!
We switched
places this afternoon!

Okay. You know something?
This is ridiculous.

I'm not going to
stand for this behavior.

I am sorry we have
to relocate, okay?
It's just as simple as that.

Relocate?

Listen to me.

We ran into

a bit of a tax issue
in Palm Beach.

So to save some money,
we have to move to Miami.

Listen, there's nothing
I could do about it.
I know you love your boat.

We'll get you another bo...
My boat?
Let me off of this jet!

Okay. I don't want
you to overreact.

So let's just
take a big breath
and calm ourselves down.

Listen to me.
Big breath in.
Big breath out.

I want to go home!

Oh, my gosh.

Listen, I've just
about had it with you,
Eddie. All right?

You are going to Miami
if I have to fly
this plane myself.

(TOM SCREAMING)

Tom!

You cannot
steal this boat.

It's my boat.

Your Pop is gonna kill you
if you get arrested.

He's just starting
to come around
about the acting lessons.

Who wants acting lessons?

What are you doing?
Give me that key!

Give me the key!
Give me the key!

You want this key?

Yeah.

There.

What did you do
that for?

Because if you
steal that boat,
you're gonna get arrested.

The whole movie is gone.
It's gone, Tom.

If you were really
a part of it,
you'd be with them.

They left me.
Mom left me.

Come on
Let's go home.

* Welcome to

* Real life

* Welcome to

* Real life

WOMAN: Yay!

Come on, clap.

Come on, Pop. Clap for Tom.

(TOM'S MOTHER WHOOPING)

Come on, clap.

It's showtime, kid!

It's showtime, cutie pie.
Wake up. Wake up.

You must have been tired.
You've been sleeping
for eight hours.

Where are we?

Sunny Miami.
You're gonna love it.

Oh, no. No, no, no.
I need to get
back to Palm Beach.

Well, there's
nothing in Palm Beach.
We took it all with us.

Pop, Miles...

You have a bad dream?

You just breathe
and relax. Let it go.

No. No, you really
don't get it.

I... I have to get back
to Palm Beach.

But what is the attachment
to Palm Beach?

Okay, look. If you relax,
Palm Beach is an hour away.

Do your work,
we'll go visit
anytime you want.

Tonight?

(CHUCKLES)

Tonight. Fine.

You do a good day's work,
we'll go to Palm Beach.

Hey, is that mean lady
gonna yell at me again?

You mean your mother?

That's his mother?

(SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING)

It's just
a situation that got
completely out of control.

It wasn't being
handled properly.

We never should have
had to leave Palm Beach.

They practically
threw us out.

Bunch of hicks.

Why'd they
kick you out?

What?

I said why'd
they kick you out?

Why don't you go back

to learning your lines
and getting water
dumped on your head?

Don't worry about
what the big producers
are doing, okay?

Don't talk to him like that.

Eddie, it's just a little
too complicated for you
to understand, that's all.

Oh, really? Yeah, well, what
I heard is that you guys are
a bunch of stuck-up pig heads

with no respect
for the working man.

You guys were
gonna get kicked out
sooner than later.

Well, that's just
what I heard.

Really?
Yeah.

What was that?

I was telling the truth.

Well, don't do that.

FIRST A.D.: First team.
First team. I need Eddie.

All right, get going.

And no fainting!

Eddie, come on.

All you have to do is
stand on your spot and
say your lines to Elizabeth.

Think you can handle it?
Yeah.

Okay, great.
Roll sound!

You want to
shoot the rehearsal,
just in case?

Yeah, we better shoot
everything with this kid.

DIRECTOR: All right, Eddie.
This is very important.

This is the biggest
moment of the movie,
all right?

Okay.
FIRST A.D.:
Do your best here, buddy.

And action!

I just want to tell you
that in times of danger,

when the universe
is in our hands

and the madness
of everyone around us
makes no sense,

I'm really glad to
have you as a friend

and as a fellow protector
of goodness.

We will beat Evil Darkness

and Doctor Know-it-All
and their evil motives.

We will save our planet.

Innocence and
goodness will prevail.

So once and for all,
are you with me?

You know it.

And cut!

DIRECTOR: Excellent!
Eddie, that was so good.

Oh, thanks.
That wasn't like anything...

That was so different
from everything else.
It was really good.

DIRECTOR: That was excellent!

Elizabeth, you were great.
Eddie, that was awesome.

We're gonna do
one more for safety,
okay, buddy?

All righty.

DIRECTOR: All right.
Settle in, everybody.

Come on, Mom.
Pick up.

(SIGHS)

Mom. How could you
do this, Mom?
Come back and get me.

I'm in some crazy man's house
back in Palm Beach.

I...

I don't even know
where I am.

Tom!

Tom! Time to go!

* People they come
People they go *

Hey. You see Tom?

Tom?

Yeah, Tom.
He's not in his room.
He's supposed to work today.

Yeah, I saw him.

He left a little while ago
to play baseball
down at the field.

Baseball?

Yeah.

Are you sure?

That's what he said.

Oh.

You should lay off
that kid a little,
you know?

What'd you say?

I think you're a little
hard on him, that's all.

You think I care
what you think?

Fine life you're living.

I'm just saying.

Yeah, well, don't say.

Oh, yeah.

(SIRENS WAILING)

Oh, no.

(MAN TALKING ON RADIO)

MAN: Turn your engines off
and keep your
hands in the air!

Is this the way
to Miami?

Good morning.

Whoa.

This is the appearance
we postponed, remember?

Eddie? You gonna speak
to me?

You said we could go
back to Palm Beach.

(LAUGHING) We will, okay?
I promise.

We didn't get
finished shooting
until late last night,

but everybody
is talking about
what a great job you did.

So just keep your
answers short and sweet.

Did you get
that last part?

What part?

Sweet.
Yeah, I got it.

Yeah, well,
your mother said to have fun
and she couldn't be here

because she has
a production meeting
that she couldn't get out of.

So listen, we'll
keep this fairly simple.

I'll ask you a couple
of questions about the movie,
and you say it's great.

Maybe throw in a funny story,
something like that.

Does that sound good?

Yeah, sounds great.

Great. So let's get started.

So, here we are
at the Tiki Grill
with the one, the only,

our favorite Spy Teen,
Eddie Tudor.

So tell me, Eddie,
how does a good
Spy Teen start his day?

What did you
eat for breakfast
this morning?

Uh... A piece of gum, I think.

A piece of gum. Wow.
Kids, don't try that at home.

Tell us,
is there a lovely
she-spy in your life?

What?

You know. Don't be secretive.
Do you have a girlfriend?

Uh...

(CLEARS THROAT)
Um...

No, no. Not currently.

And here's the question
we are all dying to know.

Are you a briefs or
boxers kind of guy?

You mean my underwear?

Yes, of course.
It says a lot about a person.

Oh.

Uh... I guess whatever
my Pop buys me.

Your pop?

It's widely documented
that your father
is no longer in the picture.

Is this an exclusive that
you are now back in contact
with your deadbeat dad?

JERRY: This interview is over.

(BEEPS)

Excuse me, sir?

Can I help you?

What happened to the boat
that was docked here?

Oh, don't worry about it.
They caught
the kid that stole it.

They've got him down
at the police station
right now.

Who would have thought
a 14-year-old kid
could hot-wire a boat?

Thanks.

* We're underwater
It is flowing

* Washing away the morning

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Who are you?

What?

Don't play games with me.
I know you're not Eddie,
I know it.

So you can tell me
who you are,
or you can wait

until I call everybody else
out here and they can
ask you, too.

So who are you?

(SIGHS)

Tom Canty.

Where's Eddie?

Somewhere in Palm Beach.

How?

Look, we switched places.
It was a joke.

And he was supposed to
come back
at the end of the day,

but he never showed.

I had no idea
I'd end up in Miami.

(BOTH SIGHING)

Don't tell anyone.

Don't tell?

Eddie!

Elizabeth, I need to
speak to Eddie alone,
please. Thank you.

Sure. I was just leaving.

Eddie, I need to know
what's going on with you.

Do you think
I'm a bad mother?

What?

Look, I work really
hard for you, Eddie.

I work hard for us.

Look, I'm sorry you
don't have a father.

I'm sorry you
don't know who he is.

Okay, you want to
know about him? Fine.

He was an actor
who couldn't cut it.

So he left the business,
and so he left us.

Okay, he left us
before he knew
you were in the picture.

You're old enough
to know that now.

And I decided not to tell him
about you because
we are better off that way.

Someday, when you're older,
you'll understand that.

But those are
our secrets, Eddie.

These are not things
that you tell people on TV.

I mean, what is this story
that you made up

about your father buying you
your underwear?

And let me tell you
something else.

If you ever leave me
another freaky voice message

saying that you're trapped
in some crazy man's
house in Palm Beach,

oh, you're going to get it.

Do you understand?

Do you understand me?

Yes, yes. I'm sorry.

You know, you are really
starting to freak me out,
Eddie! Just knock it off!

I didn't steal it.
It's my boat!

No dice, kid.

You better start piping up
and tell us who to call
to bail you out.

Either that
or you spend
the night here.

MILES: Don't scare the kid.

You know very well
he's a minor
with no previous charges.

He didn't even get
that far in the darn boat.

WOMAN: Oh, wow.

You're that guy.
You were on that show.
I remember you.

Come on, Tom.

I posted bail for you,
and I didn't tell
your Pop, okay?

Come on, let's hear it.
What was that line
you used to say

at the beginning
of every show?

Burt Donavan, Miami Squad.

You know,
I remember that show.

You were a huge star.
A real mean guy, too.

I brought my kid to the set
one day because he just
wanted to say hello,

and you treated us
like two pieces of garbage.

You're beginning
to see the light.

I guess you could say that.

How long have you
lived down here?

About 10 years.

Well, Palm Beach
is a nice place to retire to

when your career
goes in the toilet.

Oh, but maybe if you
weren't such a jerk,

your career
wouldn't be in the toilet.

Can we just please
finish up the paperwork?

You're the kid's
legal guardian?

Uh... No.

Then I can't let him
go with you.

Maybe I could make a donation
to your benevolent
association or...

Oh, yeah. You
probably make a lot of money
on those rerun checks, huh?

How much of a donation?

I don't know,
about 200 bucks?

How about $500?

Fine.

Uh...

Who do I make this out to?

The Police Athletic League.

For the kids,
since you like kids so much.

Right, kid?

Here you go.

You have a nice day.

Thank you, Officers.

Don't worry,
I'll pay you back.

Well, as soon as
I get to Miami.

Tom, you are
not going to Miami.

Now, look.
I know you've had it hard,
losing your parents,

and having to live
with your grandfather.

I know that can take
a huge toll on a kid.

But listen to me.
You've got to stop this.

You've got to pull
yourself together

because I'd hate
to see you end up
in some sort of hospital.

But you keep hot-wiring
heavy machinery, that's where
they're going to send you.

Or juvie hall.

Now, it's just a matter
of time before your Pop
finds out what you did.

Let's just go home
and deal with it, okay?

I'm not going
anywhere but Miami.

Look, I just spent a lot
of money on you. You're going
to do what I tell you.

You're not my dad!

No, I'm not your dad,
but I care about you.

Why?

What do you mean, why?

Because you're a good kid.

And I don't want to see
you get in any more trouble
than you already are.

Now, come on. Let's go.

You can't walk to Miami.

* I'm not trying
to find love *

Hi.

Hi.

Hey, thanks for
not saying anything.

It's okay.
What are you gonna do?

I have no idea.

I tried to tell them
I'm not Eddie, and they
think I'm going crazy.

And now Eddie's
left behind somewhere

and who knows what
kind of trouble he's in.

I think you did
Eddie a favor.

You do?
Yeah.

Why?

Because he was
about to get fired.

Everybody knew it.

Everybody except Eddie.

Now they're not
saying that anymore.

Well, I'm not sure
how much longer I can keep
this little game up.

Well, we have to keep it up
and pretend that
everything's normal.

I mean,
at least until we figure out
how to get Eddie back.

Yeah.

Pops is probably really sad.

Why don't you call him?

Then what?

Ask him to come get you?

Then what?

Eddie will really be fired
if they found out
he pulled a stunt like this.

And on top of that...

What?

He's gonna be really mad!
I'm dead!

(WITH AN ENGLISH ACCENT)
It's not funny, milady.
It's not.

Oh, so you like accents?

Well, how about...

(SPEAKS IN FRENCH)

I can even do New York.

Hey, yo, babe. You know,
you and I could
go out for coffee.

Am I dreaming,
or are you two
getting along?

No, I hate him.

Women.

I'm going to
find that kid
and knock him out.

And go back
to my life.

That little punk
won't be in my shoes
much longer.

And you can't force me
to stay here, either.

I'm telling you, I'm only here
to figure out a way
to sneak away again.

And this time,
I won't get caught.

Are you out of your mind?

Oh, no.

You know what I just heard?

That some kid
claiming to be a movie star
tried to steal a boat

out of the marina
this morning, and he looked
a lot like my grandson.

And then some washed up actor
bailed him out.

Now, I want to know
what's going on.

Hey, come on, now.

Go a little easy
on the kid, will you?

You're not his family!
Don't tell me how
to raise my grandson!

Come on.
For Christ's sake.

Do you wanna ruin
the whole family?

And then people
are going to come...

Hey, Billy.
How's it going?

Oh, not bad.
Knock them dead today.

Absolutely.

Hi, Eddie.
Hi.

Good work, Eddie.
How you doing?

Hey, Eddie.
Hey, Billy.

Great job yesterday, Eddie.

Thank you.

You were great,
too, Elizabeth.
Yeah, thanks.

Now, listen,
you know your scenes
for today, right?

JERRY: Hey, Nick.

Yes, Jerry.
What can I do for you?

I just wanted to tell you
before somebody else did.

There was a little
problem in Palm Beach
with Eddie's speedboat.

Some kid claiming to be Eddie
tried to steal it.

It's all taken care of.
They arrested the kid,
the boat is safe,

and it's on its way here
just like Harlin requested.
So it should be a smooth day.

Okay, good, 'cause you know
the producers
are here today, right?

I know.

What happened to Eddie?
I mean the kid
who stole my boat.

I don't know.
Some old movie star
bailed him out.

It's a bizarre town.
I'm so glad
we're out of there.

And you are, too,
aren't you, Eddie?

Yeah, sure.

Listen, darling,
your boat's gonna be here
any second, now.

This is a big day, today.

We don't want to
mess it up, do we?

No.
Good.

Listen, I've got to
talk to you.

JERRY: All right.

Now, look, just listen
to me. You will work
with me when I say.

Here's your $20
you earned.

You will pay Miles back.
You will not join
that acting club.

You will not wear
that gel in your hair,

and you will not get
in trouble in school.

Do you hear me, Tom?

Things were all right
with us till a year ago.
Then what happened?

When are you
going to get over
this acting stuff, huh?

What is that? A phase?

(SIGHS)

I don't know how to do this.
I wish your mother
was here, you know?

All I can do
is ground you.

All right, I want you to go to
your room and stay there
until I tell you to come out.

Come on!

And what do I always
say to you? I only push you
'cause I love you, kid!

I only push you
'cause I love you!

Go to your bed!

(PHONE DIALING)

(SIGHS)

(BEEPING)

Mom. It's me, Eddie.

All right, look.
I forgive you for
leaving me behind,

but whoever the kid
is pretending to be me
on the set, isn't me.

His name is Tom.
That's all I know.

You have to kick him
off the set and come back
to get me in Palm Beach.

I'm with some crazy
old man named Pop.

Just... This time I'm serious.
All right. Bye.

Where do you come off
lying to me
about my grandson?

I never lied to you.

You knew he wasn't
at the ball field!

You stay away from the kid.
You hear me?
I don't trust you!

Look, he was gonna run away.

Now, I don't know
if he's really gone crazy
or if he's just pretending,

but either way,
he wants out.

And if you keep pushing him,
that's where
he's going to go.

You hear me,
you stubborn old man?

(TIRES SCREECHING)

* All you have learned

Where do you
think he's going?

Miami.

Miami?
Yeah!

* You have already
chosen your road

* You are already halfway home

* You have already
chosen your road

* You are already
halfway home *

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

There's no answer.

Leave a message.

No.
Yes!

Fine.

(BEEPS)

Hi, Pop. It's Tom.

I'm really sorry,

but I switched places
with Eddie Tudor,
the movie star,

and now I'm in Miami
on his movie set
with no way to get home.

Could you pick me up?

Well, I'm really sorry,
and I hope you're not upset.

Thanks.

I'm a dead kid.

Well, we don't have to
keep it up
for too much longer.

Are you gonna go back
to Palm Beach?

Yeah, I guess.

You know,
we could still e-mail.

Yeah, that'd be cool.

You know,
you're really good at this.

At what?

At being Eddie.

I mean, you're a better Eddie
than Eddie ever was.

Yeah,
but you know what?
I'm not Eddie.

And he's probably
out there somewhere,
maybe even arrested.

Yeah, you're probably right.

EDDIE: Veggie burger, please.
Thank you.

Yeah, hi. The Eddie Tudor
production that was
shooting at your studio,

they moved down to Miami.
Do you know which
studio they moved to?

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

Are you sure
this is where he's going?

That's where
he said he was going,

no matter what I did
to try and stop him.

He wants to be Eddie Tudor,
and he's going to
the movie set to be him.

And what if he gets
there and chickens out?

You don't know Tom
very well, do you?

We fixed your laser,
and all your props
will be ready

in your trailer
within the next hour.

Oh, thank you.

How are you doing,
my man?

(SIGHS)

All right.
Look, I'm not Eddie.

Oh.

I think he stole
his boat back
to get here.

And he might be arrested,
he might be in some
crazy man's basement,

or he might be with Miles.
Hey, I don't know.

All I know is
that I am not him.

You were doing so good.
What the heck happened?

You said I could go back
to Palm Beach.

I want to go now.
I'm not Eddie.

You know what?
Today is not the day.

And, quite frankly,
I don't care who you are.

Just act like a professional,
do your job, finish the day,

and then maybe I'll think
about taking you
to Palm Beach.

You said that yesterday,
you liar!

FIRST A.D.: First team!

Look, they all love you
today. Just give them
what they want.

Maybe you'll
still have a career.

What the... Eddie!
Can we get Eddie
on set, please?

Take him away.
Eddie, what the heck
is this message?

Uh... I don't know.
I gotta go on set.

I'll talk to you later.
No, Eddie, wait!

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

Yeah, hi.

We want to go
to a movie set.

Which one?

Actually, we're extras
on the Eddie Tudor project.

They didn't tell us
where we're
supposed to report.

Spy Teen III?

That's it.

Has there been a kid
claiming to be Eddie Tudor

trying to sneak in here, yet?

No, sir, not yet.

Section 3, gentlemen.

Oh, thank you.

Hey. I'm with those guys.

You must be pretending
to be Eddie Tudor.

Uh...

Section 3.

Thanks.

Now, Eddie, big, big scene,
okay? This is it.
I don't have a lot of time.

I need you to get this in one,
maybe two for me, okay?
Can you do that?

Uh... Yeah, I...

Great, buddy.
Let's go! Let's get this.

Okay, look. I talked
it over with Charles,

and he said
if you want to do
two front flips, it's fine.

But the tumble
has to be sped up.

The timing has to be right
or it won't look real, okay?

I will not compromise timing.

You have a problem with this,
you can talk to
your director.

Honestly, I've been with you
since you were five,
doing stunts.

What is the problem,
all of a sudden?

Okay, okay.
Relax, relax.

We've got
a sequence to shoot.

Now, are you set
on two flips?

Uh, uh...
Okay, then, it's settled.

Just speed up the tumble.

Can you speed up the tumble?

Yeah, speed up
the rumble. Got it.

Tumble. Tumble.

He's not ready.
We have professional
stuntmen to do this.

Why you don't do that?
That's crazy.

Okay. Relax, relax.

Okay, remember,

Evil Darkness will
hurl you through the air
at top speed.

You'll land into the tumble,
and at twice the timing,

catapult yourself
into two front flips,

which I think is egregious,
but it's fine.

Bounce back to your feet.
Big finish.

Jump into the racecar
and drive away, huh?
Should be lovely.

You ready for rehearsal?

Rehearsal's up!

I don't think, I mean...
Well, I am thinking
about it, but...

Get out of my way!

Hey!
Stop, you punk!

Oh, thank God.

Tom?

Pop?

Mom!

Eddie?

Julia?

Miles.

Oh, my God.

Julia.

I'm Harlin now.

Mom?

Then who are you?

I tried to tell you.
I'm Tom Canty.

You're dead!

(GROANS)

Wait, wait.
Come back here.

Hey! We've got
a scene to shoot.

* I'm walking on sunshine
Whoa

* I'm walking on sunshine
Whoa

* And don't it feel good?
All right, now

* And don't it feel good?

* I say, I say
I say it again now

* And don't it feel good?

* All right, now
And don't it feel good?

* It's time, it's time
It's time, it's time

* It's time, it's time
to feel good *

You took my identity.

They switched locations.

I got kidnapped by
your creepy grandpa.

And I got yelled at
by your mom a lot.

Oh, my God. Eddie!

Eddie! Come here.
Eddie! Eddie!
I mean, Eddie. Eddie!

I mean... Eddie.
Mom.

(PANTING)

I didn't know
that that wasn't you.

That's horrible!

I know.

I am so sorry.

I am so sorry. I am...
Okay, listen.

I have to tell you something.

What?

I know you push me hard
because you love me.

Yes, baby.
It's because I love you.

Because I love you.

I missed you, Jerry.

Oh, I missed you,
too, Eddie.

Tom? Wait a minute.
Are you Tom?

Yeah, Pop. It's me.

Why isn't that you?

It's a long story.

(SIGHS)

I don't get it.

I'll tell you
everything later.

Hey, Miles.

Hey, Tom.

You really did
it this time, huh?

I know.

I love you, kid.
I love you.

I'm proud of you, buddy.

So you're...
You're Eddie, he's not.

Look, I just need someone
to shoot this scene.
So let's get on with it.

Oh, yeah.

Okay. Go get them, tiger!

Go get them, baby.

(EVIL DARKNESS WHIRRING)

(EVIL DARKNESS MUMBLING
IN A ROBOTIC VOICE)

Harlin.

Now, that's what
I call a family.

(ROBOT MUMBLING)

I had no idea you
had a son, Julia.

My name's Harlin.

No, it's not.

Yes, it is...

...not.

You know, when I...

When I left town, I didn't...

I didn't...
Miles, don't.

Really, I'm not
looking for an explanation.
No.

It was because of me.

Because I was no good
for either of us.

Eddie's a great kid.
Talented, too.

I got to know him a little bit
when I thought he was Tom.

Yeah, he's really dramatic.

Guess he gets
that from me, huh?
Hmm. Hmm.

Yeah, those crazy kids.
He's your son.

(CLEARS THROAT)

What?
Hmm, what?

(STUTTERING)

Yeah.

I didn't tell you
because I just figured
you really wouldn't care.

I mean, you left, so...

Well, that might have been
valuable information
for me to have.

I might have stayed.

Yeah, well,
now you know.

I owe you a big apology,
you little actor, you.

I tried to tell you.

You really did.

He really did try
to tell me.

But now at least I know
why you were so anxious to get
back to Palm Beach.

So listen,
I've been thinking.

You are a real natural.

Oh, thanks.

The kid's got talent.
Did you know that?

And I've been thinking.

This production company's
gonna do a remake of
Prince and the Pauper,

Mark Twain's,
and they were going
to use a set of twins,

but I don't know
about you, but I think

Tom and Eddie
would be fantastic.

And let's face it,
they fooled us.

Yeah, I guess they did.

So you want to do
something like that?

I mean,
act in a real film?

Hey, I'm good at it.

You could be good
at anything, Thomas.

I want to know if it's what
you want to do, you know?
And even if it's hard.

Yeah.

(SIGHING)

No more landscaping?

No more landscaping.

I want to be in the movies.

Okay. Then...

Let's do it.

Oh, thank you, Pop!
Thank you so much!
You bet, kid. You bet.

Thank you, Jerry.

Oh, Tom. Mmm.

You having fun?

Yeah.

I'm actually
glad to be back.

Sorry I took your car.

Sorry I didn't believe you.

Don't worry.
I will pay you back
for the bail and that stuff.

You don't worry about that.
Really.

Oh, you know, you're a lot
younger than I was when
I first started doing this.

You know what
the hardest lesson
I ever learned was?

What?

Be gracious.
Treat people with respect.

Do you do that?

I will now.

That's good.

That's good.

Thou lookest
tired and hungry.

What is thy name?

Tom Canty, and
it pleases thee, sir.

Where dost live?

Offal Court.

Come with me.

MILES: And cut!

That was great, guys.

That's a print.
Beautiful, beautiful guys.

So the apple
doesn't fall too far
from the tree, does it?

No, I guess not.

That was
a great job, Tom.

Thanks.

Yeah, you too,
pig head.

Thanks for noticing,
snot nose.

Just kidding.

* Skating on a dream
Slamming into destiny

* Just when you think
I won't make it
past pretend

* Don't question it
Oh!

* Here I go again

* Here I go again

* Here I go again

* Here I go again

* Believing real things happen

* Skating on a dream
Slamming into destiny

* Just when you think

* I won't make it past pretend

* Don't question it
Oh!

* Here I go again

Okay. Who wants what?

All right.
I'll see you later.
I want a hamburger.

I'll take a veggie dog.

One hamburger,
one veggie dog.
Coming up.

A what?

A veggie dog.

A veggie dog?
What's a veggie dog?

You know,
a hot dog made
out of vegetables.

You're weird.

L.A. is pretty nice, huh?

Yeah, it's really hot.

And it's not humid
like it is out in Florida.

Get used to it.

I do miss my lawn chair.

I bet you do.
Sometimes.

MILES: So what do you
guys want to do today?

TOM: You got a football?

Yeah.
Yeah, let's
play some football.

Hike!

* I know I can't always win
I can't do anything

* I do more than dream,
I think

* You make everything
Everything just right

* So alive

* Life is good
when you're around

* Nothing can bring me down

* I can't believe
what I have found

* Nothing can hold me down

* One thing I have to know
Just how far that we could go

* I want to go outside
and show the whole world

* That everything I've got
Some say is not a lot

* But it's what I want

* Life is good
when you're around

* Nothing can bring me down

* Nothing can bring me down

* I can't believe
what I have found

* Nothing can hold me down

* You wait to hear my call

* You know just what to say

* How could you be so cool?

* Life is good
when you're around

* Nothing can bring me down
* Nothing can bring down

* I can't believe
what I have found

* Nothing can hold me down

* Life is good
when you're around

* Nothing can bring me down
* Nothing can bring down

* I can't believe
what I have found

* Nothing can hold me down
* Nothing can hold me down

* I'm not making excuses

* I'm standing tall
and living loud

* Getting to know
what's out there

* Racing myself
on a dare no doubt

* And if I suddenly crash,
I'll just look back and laugh

* It will all make sense
in a day and a half

* Here I go again
* Believing real things happen

* Skating on a dream
Slamming into destiny

* Just when you think
I won't make it
past pretend

* Don't question it

* Here I go again

* It's my moment, every moment

* You can always count me in

* My forever is right now
and I'm not ever giving in

* Oh, it is so confusing

* I don't want to be anyone
but me

* Getting to know
what's inside

* Finding myself,
not my wannabe

* And if I suddenly crash,
I'll just look back and laugh

* Leave my troubles behind
like a day in the past

* Here I go again
* Believing real things happen

* Skating on a dream
Slamming into destiny

* Just when you think
I won't make it
past pretend

* Don't question it

All right,
show me what you got.

You will love this.
It's simple
and beautiful, okay?

First, the right. Huh?

He comes back,
and then gauche. Huh?

And now,
piece de resistance.

(GROANS)

Hey.

I don't know. Give me some...
Jazz it up a little bit.

Jazz, jazz.
What is this? Dance?
How about this?

No, no, I don't know. Weak.
It's weak. Hit him again.

(GROANING)

What about that?

No.
No.

You're not hitting him
hard enough. Hit him!

Show me something!

It's nothing.
It's nothing!

What if he's not Hubert?