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Well, it's a little loose now

but after a few months here, it'll fit right in.

Fine. Oh, don't worry about me. This is fine.

Yeah, this is great.

All right, we got a limited menu here,

so you should be able to handle it.

This is the grill, this is the hot table.

Here's the eggs.Eggs.

Home fries.Right.

Deep fry, toaster, counter.

Right.

Ordering eggs up, toast, and coffee.

Right. Just watch this one.

What did you do before this, kid?

Ah, I... I do a lot of things. I keep moving.

I just finished working at Wilton State Park.

I was a grounds keeper there.

Hey... Did you read about that guy who cut down

that red Japanese pine dwarf tree by mistake?

Must be over 300-years-old, and this guy takes an ax and cuts it down.

Yeah, it wasn't an ax, it was a saw.

What a boob.

Simple?Right, yeah...

It's, uh, appetizing looking, too.

Yes.

[BELL DINGING]

I gotta hit the bank.

Now, I won't be back for the mid-morning rush. Can you handle it?

Oh, right, I got it. Grill, toaster...

If you can't find something, just ask Gail.

Gail. I got it.

Ordering two eggs over, hash browns, toast and coffee.

Two eggs... Two eggs, hash browns, toast and...

Two eggs.

Ordering two eggs, soft-boiled,

bacon with toast, coffee.

Two eggs.

Ordering scrambled, two eggs, ham well done, tomatoes, toast, coffee.

How're those eggs over coming?

Soft-boiled...

Soft-boiled.

[EXCLAIMING]

Bacon, two eggs.

Ordering a breakfast steak, medium well,

hash brown, white toast and coffee.

Eggs, bacon.

You say a soft-boiled, two bacon.

GAIL: Ordering eggs up, hash brown, toast and coffee.

Ordering a cheese omelet, bacon, and a peach half.

Can't find those peach halves. I just had one half, so, wish I had a whole peach.

Ordering cream o' wheat with brown sugar.

I want some wheat toast, a glass of milk.

How're those eggs over coming?

They look real good. They're right here, all piled up.

Ordering sliced bananas with cream, French toast, sausage, and coffee.

Where're am I gonna get a banana and sausage?

Ordering a short stack, bacon, and coffee.

How're those eggs over?

Ordering two corn flakes with cream on one,

four sweet rolls, raspberry jam on the side, and heat this bottle.

Ordering one prune juice. What's the word on those eggs over?

Ah, pea soup.

Ordering BLT on toast, hold the mayo,

side order of slaw, and coffee.

How're those eggs over coming?

[EXCLAIMING]

Water.

Get the water.

[EXPLOSION]

MAN: Fire!

[ALARM BLARING]

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

Hey, Vernon, you wanna toss a few?

Oh, not now.

Hey, how does it look for the River Rats this year?

Looks like we're goin' all the way.

Hey, great.

Hi, Mike.

We don't have school today, so you don't have to bug me about it.

I'm not buggin' you about it.

I'm just tellin' you, if you ever wanna get anywhere in school,

you gotta hit the books.

Hey, don't sit there.

Why not? Public bench, isn't it?

You're sitting on gum.

What?You know, you're sitting on gum.

[IMITATES CHEWING]

Gum.

[GROANS]

[EXCLAIMS]

Well, why didn't you tell me before I sat down?

You didn't give me a chance.

Ah, nuts.

MAN ON RADIO: And the fire department was able to contain the blaze

at McGowan's Diner before it spread to adjoining buildings.

Although the diner was full, there were no injuries reported.

MIKE: Gee, McGowan's caught on fire!

Yeah, I know. You wanna turn that thing off? I'm trying to eat.

[TURNS OFF RADIO]

What's that thing?

It's a fried egg sandwich.

No bread?

Where do you buy a sandwich like that?

Uh, I got it at a fire sale.

Tough day, huh?

Yeah, I'll get 'em tomorrow.

You know what?

I told my old man when I grew up I wanted to be just like you.

You did?

Gee, what'd he say?

He hit me.

Oh, well, it figures.

Says you'll never amount to a hill of beans.

You wanna turn the radio on? I'd rather listen to that.

MAN ON RADIO: ...prizes! 50,000 dollars.

So, send in those coupons to Kent Bronson at the Kent Bronson Show.

VERNON: 50,000 dollars?

You know somethin', if I had that kind of money, believe me,

you guys wouldn't be throwin' a ratty ball around a dump like this.

And I'd have you some uniforms and a ball diamond that'd knock your eyes out.

You mean that?Yeah.

You ain't gonna do that.

I am, too.

Of course with some people, it takes 'em a little longer than others.

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

You Vernon Praiseworthy?

Uh, right.

The fireman told me that he saw you come down this way.

You free to come with me?

Well, take me to jail.

It was that last order. The BLT, hold the mayo, slaw on the side.

That's the one that did it.Did what?

That's when the grease hit the grill.

What's up, Vernon?

This fuzz over here's gonna toss Vernon in the cooler.

What'd he do?

What'd you do, Vernon?

Well, I made a mistake. I, uh, I got up this morning.

Come on.

Think you'll get out in time to get us that ball diamond?

Well, sure I will. Gosh, uh...

You guys just stay warmed up till I get back.

KOTCH: See that gate over there?VERNON: Yeah.

KOTCH: Just go over and knock on it.

VERNON: Don't you have to check me in?

KOTCH: Just knock on the gate.

Strange prison.

So long.

Just knock on the gate.

All right, now, remember, nobody gets through the gate

to the house without proper identification.

All right.You got that?

That sounds simple.All right.

All right.I'm gonna be gone, now.

Now wait...You're going on vacation?

I'm going on vacation and I want you to take this.

See what you can do with this.

[KNOCKING ON GATE]Okay, let him in. I'll handle it...

Halt!

No one gets through the gate without a pass.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...Proper identification.

There was this man, Mr. Kotch, down there

who, uh, said for me to come in here and go...

No, no, no, no, this man's okay.

Yeah, yeah.

You go down the path, okay, to the house. You'll be all right.

Thank you.

[DOOR OPENS]

May I help you?Uh, yes.

Um, two guards down at the gate told me to come up here, and...

Actually the one guard told me the one with the gun, confused.

He, uh, gave me this card to come up here...

I'm V. Praiseworthy. He left an "E" outta there, but it's Praiseworthy.

Yes, we've been expecting you.

Just step through there, please.

I'm gonna give him this back, he was kind.

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

[SWITCHES OFF TRAIN]

Um, sorry, hope you didn't mind.

Just runnin' the trains here.

It's quite an exhibit you have here.

TRAYNE: One of the finest in the country.

[DOOR OPENS]

Oh.

Took me 25 years to get together.

There's a model of anything that's ever rolled on wheels.

I wouldn't sell it for a million dollars.

Surprised to see a dog sitting' here, weren't you?

I never talk to anybody until Bo looks 'em over.

If he don't pass 'em, I don't waste my time with 'em.

Can't beat an animal for judging human character,

and Bo's the best that ever was.

So, you're Vernon Praiseworthy? Come closer.

Uh-uh, that's close enough.

You look better at a distance.

Anybody tell you who I am?

Uh, well, the warden.

Warden?

Well, uh, you see there was this guy, Kotch,

and he has this little car and he had a badge

and he came up and arrested me, so I just assumed that...

He didn't arrest you. He's a private detective.

Oh.

Bo, get Mitchell in here.

[TOLLING]

Mitchell, this is Vernon Praiseworthy.

Oh, oh, yes.

Tell him who I am.

This is Mr. R. R. Trayne,

founder and Chairman of the Board of Trayne Industries.

Uh, Choo-Choo Trayne?

Yeah. You heard of me, huh?

Oh, gee, who hasn't? I mean, a guy who started out as a hobo

and then became a billionaire. I mean...

Billion and three-quarters.

Now, tell him who he is.

Well, I'm Vernon Praiseworthy of the...

No, no, no, tell him.

You, sir, are Mr. Trayne's last living relative.

Well... I beg your pardon?

I said,

you are Mr. Trayne's last living relative.

You mean that I, that he, that we that that this place,

that I...

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

Kinda give you a choke, didn't I?

Well, it doesn't seem possible.

I mean you sure there isn't some mistake?

No, no, it's been checked, double-checked, cross-checked,

rechecked and it all checks.

Your mother was my sister.

And you are the caboose on the family train.

[BO WHIMPERING]

[BARKING]

Ah, you're right, Bo, it's nothin' to joke about.

Boy, it's like a dream. I mean, uh...

Gosh, uh... Choo-Choo Trayne, my uncle.

Come over here, son.

Come over here and take a look.

This is me ridin' the rails.

This is me ridin' the rails at the age of 16.

Skinny little runt, wasn't I?

Uh-huh.

This is me ridin' the rails with some of my buddies.

That's Butz Collins, Stumpy Walder, and Ray Turner.

You know what this is a picture of?

Uh, that... That's a picture of, uh, a roundhouse.

No.

That is a picture of nothing.

All of these pictures are nothing.

I thought so.

No, I couldn't afford a camera or a film when I was bumming,

so, I took all these pictures all here in my head.

Now, I can buy any of the camera companies.

I like my pictures better. Don't you?

Yes, now that you mention it, yeah.

You know what this is a picture of?

Sure. That's a picture of nothing.

No.No.

This is a picture of you as the head of Trayne Enterprises.

Maybe.Right.

Takes a big man to run a big organization

and on account of you being family,

we hoped you'd be the man when I step down.

Right, Bo?

[BARKS]

When I look at your record, here,

it doesn't even give a promise.

Says here, 39 jobs,

in 34 cities.

What is your hang-up?

I'm lookin' for a job where I can be happy

and make a lot of money for the kids.

Kids? Don't see anything here about you havin' kids.

I don't, I don't... It's just that, uh,

I mean, kids that don't have anything.

I'd like to do something for 'em.

Good, I like that. Come around here.

Sit down. Go ahead, sit down.

Relax, make yourself comfortable.

Think you could be happy in this niche when I give it up?

Yeah, I guess so, but, well, see, you just said...

I just said you had nothin' to offer right now, but I've got a prescription

that could change all that if you work at it.

Well, uh, I'm willin' to work, all right,

it's um, it's just workin' steady that's a little shaky.

This'll be different than anything you've ever tried before.

Well, where do we start?

Where I did. On the road.

Oh, you mean a salesman? I think I can handle that.

Hobo.

A hobo?

TRAYNE: Mmm-hmm.

Taught me everything I needed to put me in this chair.

Self-reliance, self-confidence,

resourcefulness, ingenuity, the whole bundle,

and it could do the same for you.

Gosh, a hobo.

From now on you better forget that name, Vernon Praiseworthy.

No use adding to your troubles.

You need a nice, short, snappy name,

like Tom, Dick, Harry, Frank, Joe.

Joe, Bo, Joe, Bo, Joe.

Sounds good either way. How about that, Bo?

[WHIMPERING]

Good. Joe it is.

We'll tack a "Smith" on the end when we write you.

Hobo?Mmm-hmm.

You follow my footsteps and you can step into my shoes.

Yeah, uh, not bad.

Well, how long is this gonna take?

Depends upon you.

Yeah, well,

okay, I'll give it a try, I mean, for the kids.

[BARKS]

Your first destination will be Seattle.

That's about a four-day run.

Seein' as how you're a beginner, I'll give you six.

If it takes any longer, that's one strike against you, just like baseball.

Oh, you mean, three strikes and you're out?

That's right.

Now there's a freight leavin' the yard at, uh, 2:45.

I'll give you three hours and ten minutes to hop it.

You mean, you want me to start today?

Sooner you start, the quicker you finish.

Well, you, but three hours and ten minutes,

I need more time than that.

Average person always needs more tire,

that's why they're average.

One thing that'll make it easier for you

is that you'll have somebody to travel with you.

Oh, you're gonna send Mitchell with me.

Mitchell? Wouldn't that be something.

[LAUGHING] You and Mitchell hoboing together.

No, I'm gonna have somebody to help you rather than hinder you.

Just like his great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great granddaddy

helped me with mine.

You mean, you're gonna send Bo with me?

That's right. He's a real chip off the old block,

loyal and a lot smarter than most people you run across.

But Bo's your dog, see, he wouldn't wanna go with me.

Ask him.

Bo, you wanna go with me?

For my sake, Bo?

[WHIMPERS]

Good.

I had an agreement drawn up to cover the deal.

Mitchell, explain it to him.

There are several major provisions.

You must never reveal your relationship to Mr. Trayne.

You must never disclose the reasons for what you're doing.

You must never contact this office or Mr. Trayne

unless you are instructed to do so.

Stealing, cheating, or other dishonest acts

are strictly forbidden.

You will follow a prescribed route

which will be given to you one destination at a time.

Upon arrival at a designated city,

a letter at the main post office, general delivery,

will give you your next destination.

[HORN BLOWING]

[WHISTLE BLOWING]

Hurry up, Bo, come on, that's our train.

Get away! Go away!

[BO BARKING]Hey, Bo! Bo!

Hey, Bo!

[EXCLAIMING]

[SCREAMING]

TRAYNE: Oh, forget it.

I'll never make a train man outta you.

Yes, sir, but I am trying, sir, I really am, I'm trying.

[PHONE RINGING]Try harder. Answer the phone.

Yes? Yes, put him on.

What is that? Joe? Bo?

Yes, sir. Mitchell speaking.

Good.

They did?

They didn't.

They are?

What do know...

Thank you.

Well?

That was the division superintendent.

Yes, I know that. What is all they did, they didn't, they are?

Did they catch the freight train or didn't they?

Well, yes sir, they did, sir, but...

They didn't catch the one going to Seattle.

They're heading in the opposite direction.

Where?

El Paso.

Now, what do you know?

Yes sir, that's what I said, sir.

[LAUGHING]

He's followin' in my footsteps all right.

The first train I ever hopped

I went in the wrong direction, too.

Hey, watch the bridge.

I will, I will, I'll watch the bridge now.

[LAUGHING UPROARIOUSLY]

How come we're stoppin'?

[BARKS]Huh?

Hey, come on, somebody's comin'. Let's get outta sight.

No need to hide. I know you're in there.

Uh, you gonna put us off?

No need to, once you hear where you're headin'.

Well, we're goin' to Seattle.

No. Seattle is that-a-way. You're going to El Paso.

Wait a minute. El Paso! What...

Now, wait a minute, that's impossible.

You see, I heard personally from two...

I mean, uh, from a very high authority

that the train leaving for Seattle left precisely at 2:45

and that's what time we were on this.

The freight for El Paso also leaves at 2:45.

You mean, you got two trains going in opposite directions leaving at the same time?

Opposite directions, same time.

You don't have another train leaving the other way, do you?

Yeah, 1:17 tomorrow morning.

Tomorrow morning?

Oh, we'd lose a whole day.

Yeah, see, we've only got six days to get to Seattle...

We're under a lot of pressure... I know, I know...

You know, in a case like this,

I think it'd be okay to go out on the highway

and catch a ride that way, don't you?

What?

I'm sorry, I was talking to the dog.

[BARKS]

He said it's okay.

Excuse me. Well, thanks a lot, you've been very helpful.

My pleasure.

[BARKING]

Have a nice day yourself.

Stacy, can you hear me?

STACY: Yeah, I hear you.

Tell 'em they got off here.

Will do.

Did you find out why the top brass is keeping track of 'em?

No, but I did find out one thing though.

What's that?

That the dog is the smarter of the two.

Now, that's 41 cars that have gone by

and haven't even looked at us.

[BARKING]

Hi, there's plenty of room in there for us.

[SIGHS]

Well, you know, it's so hot out here. We're gonna melt.

I wonder what you have to do to get anybody to stop around here.

[WHIMPERING]

Bo, what happened?

Bo, come on, speak to me.

Hey, Bo, hey, what's wrong, guy?

Help!

Help! Help!

Bo, what's wrong?

I'll give you mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Well, just...

Forget it.

Oh, come on, get up.

We gotta keep goin' for the kids.

[BUS APPROACHING]

What happened? Car hit him?

Well, I don't know. He just keeled over. Must be the heat.

Well, pour some of this on him.

Oh, right. Thanks.

This'll work, here, here you go. Here.

[WHIMPERING]

Aw, that's great. Yeah, that works.

Thanks a million. You just saved me a billion.

Uh, where you going?

L.A.

Pile in.Huh?

Come on, Bo, we got a ride.

Bo! Hey, come on, let's go. Bo, got a ride.

Come on, come on, Bo, let's go.

Well, come on.

Oh, no, come on.

TRAYNE: You can't beat an animal for judging human character,

and Bo is the best that there is.

You're supposed to be taking care of me.

TRAYNE: Now, he's gonna need a lot of lookin' after,

but don't be too easy on him,

or he'll never learn anything.

That's better.

My name is, uh, Steve. This is Ernie.

ERNIE: Hi.

Hi, mine is Vern... I mean, uh, Joe.

Bo, Joe, Bo, Joe.

[BO BARKS]Hey, Bo!

[GROWLS]Hey, now easy.

Not very friendly, is he?

Yeah, I don't understand that. It must be the heat.

Hey, what's with you, anyway?

He's a real nice guy.

[SNARLING]

Yeah, all right, okay.

He's, uh, just apologizing for growling.

That's okay, your apology is accepted.

Where you coming from, Joe?

L.A. You see, I was going to Seattle,

but I didn't catch the right freight, so...

So I'm goin' back to Los Angeles to hop a freight to Seattle, so,

I guess I'm really coming from Los Angeles, if you look at it that way.

Hot, isn't it?

Our security department is the very finest.

Your little Johnny will be in the best of hands.

[PHONE RINGING]

Trayne World Airways Security.

Hey, am I glad to hear from you.

No, we're just coming into town.

When will you be at the house?

Yeah, we'll be in, in about 45 minutes.

Yeah, we gotta take this guy over to the freight yards.

JEN: Freight yards?

Dave get there yet?

Two days ago. Good.

Where is he?

A liquor store?

What is it? What is it?

All right, we'll see you at the place. Stupid idiot.

Come on, man, lay it on me. What's happenin'?

He tried to knock off a liquor r store.

They picked him off instead.

He's in the County Hospital with a slug in his leg.

Oh, that's beautiful, that's really beautiful.

The guy plays penny ante and we lose the whole jackpot, that's great.

We haven't blown it yet. We'll get somebody else.

What, by tomorrow morning? You gotta be kidding.

STEVE: So, how did you happen to take up hoboing, Joe?

Well, I was told there was a lot of money in it.

All ready for you to jump into, Joe.

Better than a bed roll, huh, Joe?

Well, any bed's better than a bed roll.

Boy, you guys sure have been good to me.

Well, we just wanna show our appreciation, Joe,

for you driving the van for us tomorrow.

Yeah, well, listen, anything as long as I'm through in time

to catch that freight to Seattle.

ERNIE: Oh, man, we'll be through in plenty of time.

I mean, it won't take us more than an hour.

Unless there's a snafu. Then all of us might be hopping the freight.

Huh?

Well, I mean, we might get a flat tire

on the freeway or somethin'.

Yeah, yeah, we know what you mean, Ernie.

I think you better hit the sack, too. Okay?

Your mouth is flapping but your brains are sleeping. Okay.

JEN: Good night, Joe.

Ow!

Geez!

I'm gonna get a new tube.

Turn that off.

[SIGHS]

Oh.

[HUMMING]

More coffee, Joe?

Uh, no, I have to drive.

Hey, how about this last egg, Joe?

Uh, no, no, I've, uh, I've had a lot of eggs this week.

How 'bout you, Bo?

[WHIMPERING]

You about ready to shove off, Joe boy?

Yeah, right, I'm ready, right.

I'm sorry, here you go. I'll help you.

Here's your butter, butter.

You need any help?

No, thank you.Good. Right.

Boy, you know it's hard to believe you guys work for Trayne.

Yeah? Why?

Well, I mean, of all the companies that you could work for.

Of course, he does own a lot of companies, doesn't he?

So, doesn't that make a coincidence, huh?

I don't know why he'd bring it up.

That's strange.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

He's funny.

I see. Mmm-hmm, thank you.

Well?

Nothing, sir.

They've dropped out of sight

since they left that siding to catch a ride back to Los Angeles.

Their first night out on the road.

Wonder where they're spending it?

Well, they oughta be showin' up at the freight yard before long.

All right, the plane's coming in pretty quick.

They're gonna park it

just on the other side of that fence over there.

ERNIE: Okay.Okay?

All right, now, here are the keys.

Now, you know where you're gonna meet us now.

Well, yeah, you told me three times.

Well, I just wanna make sure everything's okay

because I don't want no bad mark on our record, know what I mean?

Right, okay, I got it.

You know, you worry too much, see?

Where was it?Over there.

I got it, see, I got it.

You got it.

This is Barbara Henderson of KGHG

bringing you an on-the-spot picture of the arrival of Li Chien Wu,

a very rare species of Chinese dog know as a Shar-Pei,

which is being flown to this country

on a special plane furnished by Trayne World Industries,

as a gift from the People's Republic of China

to the people of the United States.

Li Chien Wu is no ordinary gift, I assure you,

for he is the Republic's Number One Shar-pei

and is valued and insured for 100,000 dollars.

How's it look?

Okay. How about mine?

Outta sight.

Yeah?Yeah. Good, good.

All right.

Hey.

Hi.

Hey, you fellas here to pick up the pooch?

Yeah.

Hey, uh, is that the plane?

GUARD: It better be.

When did they put you fellas on?

A while ago. One shot deal.

They figured a little extra security might be a smart idea, you know?

Their dough.

Where's your station?

They told us to stick right with you.

Hey, uh, we can hold up our end over here, you know?

Well, that's a matter of opinion.

Oh, I had a hunch there was something funny about you guys.

Give me the irons. Right now.

Move it!

All right, hold it right there.

Tape his kisser. Move!

Get in.

Let me repeat, that the ceremony will not take place today.

Li Chien Wu has traveled a long way

and will be taken from here to a kennel for a check-up,

after which the President himself

will receive the gift from the People's Republic

in a special ceremony two days from now.

Oh, oh, oh, yes.

Representing our government on this occasion today

is Mr. Leonard Cox of the State Department.

Oh, they're moving the ladder...

How do you do, ladies and gentlemen?

This is Leonard Cox speaking, your State Department representative.

I'm very happy to be here today to welcome Li Win Chu...

Oh, Mr. Cox is a little excited.

He meant to say Li Chien Wu.

Yes, yes, yes. I mean to say Li Chien Wu.

In the name of the government...

Okay, Mr. Cox, thank you, thank you.

Hey, look, Bo, there's Rita and Jen.

[BARKING]

Bo! Bo, be quiet.

For cryin' out loud, they're gonna throw us outta here.

Can't you see, they're trying to broadcast?

Here comes trouble.

Keep that dog quiet or take him out of here.

Yes sir, uh, I'm sorry, I don't know what got into him.

COX: Well, see that it doesn't get into him again.

We're having a brief interruption

caused by a dog belonging to a spectator.

I'm sure it's nothing serious.

Mr. Cox himself has gone over to remedy the situation.

COX: I'm here on government business,

and I will not tolerate interruption.

Is that clear? Keep quiet!

Come, Bo, you hear what he said?

COX: Let's get on with the reception, Stevens.

[CROWD CHATTERING]

[BARKS]

Hey, Bo, look, that must be the Shar-Pei they're talking about.

[WHIMPERING]

Boy, I hope he gets big enough to fill out those wrinkles.

Welcome to the United States, Madame Wong.

Thank you.

I am Leonard Cox of the State Department, Madame Wong.

I'm here to welcome you to our country

on behalf of the United States Government.

Thank you. I bring you greetings

from the People's Republic of China.

Ah, yes, yes, yes.

Madame Wong, how was your flight?

My flight...

But, most importantly, how is Li Chien Wu?

My flight was very pleasant and Li Chien Wu is very happy.

But I'm sure he's tired after his long trip,

so we'll just rush him to the kennel

where he can relax and get over his jetlag.

All right, be cool now, Ernie.

I got it.

Be cool.

[BO BARKING]

Bo!

[BARKING]

Sit down. He's okay.

Hey, come back here.

Oh, no! Now look what you did. Here comes wrinkles.

[LI CHIEN WU BARKING] Go back! Go.

That's Bo and Joe.

COX: Now, look what you've done.

Oh, you, you, oh, come here, poor little Li Chien Chu! Oh...

Will you get out of here?

Yes sir, right, sir. Ah, you see, I read about Li Chien Wu

in the paper and when my friends told me

he was comin' down here this morning well, I figured I'd...

We're on our way, right now.

Come on, Bo. Bo!

Let go of the man's leash, Bo.

Bo, let go of the man's leash.

You party pooper!

You shouldn't have done that.

Now look, you got him all excited.

Uh, sir, we're sorry, sir, just, uh...

Will you get out of here?

Come on, Bo. Uh, I'm sorry, sir.

We broke your leash.

Here you go, just...

Just...

[CROWD LAUGHING]

What is the matter with you? You bumbling idiot,

what're you doing? Get your hands off me.

What's the matter with you, Bo?

You're supposed to keep me out of trouble, not get me into it.

Come on.

Now, that the confusion and excitement is over,

we're going to pause for station identification.

Excitement is right.

Bo certainly had them spinning their wheels, didn't he?

He must've taken a shine to that Li Chien Wu.

What the devil are they doing at the airport?

They're supposed to be hopping a freight to Seattle.

[BO GROWLING]

[BARKING]

Take it easy. All right. To the side.

Let's go. Easy now.

Will you stop being so restless, for cryin' out loud.

They'll be here.

[BARKING]

Bo, will you quiet down, for cryin' out loud?

Get in.

How do you like that?

They don't even have freight trains on their schedule.

Now that's another thing I'm gonna change when I get in that chair.

[BARKING]

[WHIMPERING]

Bo, will you settle down?

[BO GROWLING]

What is it, Bo? What, huh?

Bo! Bo! Hey, will you come on, hey, come on, sit down.

Sit down.

I'm sorry. Now, lay down there. Okay, come on.

I don't know what's gotten into Bo today.

You shoulda seen the fuss he made

over that Li Chien Wu at the terminal. Boy!

STEVE: Yeah, we heard all about it. Let's get going, huh?

Yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, okay.

[ENGINE STARTING]

[WHIMPERING]

[LI CHIEN WU BARKING]

Now see, you been barkin' so much you're getting laryngitis.

[BARKING CONTINUES]

Hey, that sounds like Li Chien Wu!

[WHIMPERING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Li Chien Wu!

What's he doin' here?

Well, uh...

Well, we were going to deliver him after we

dropped you off at the freight yard.

Oh, all right.

[BARKING]

Huh?

Huh, huh? Oh.

Hey, one of you guys dropped your mustache here.

Hey, wait a minute.

Hey, hey, you were the guys with the dog kennel down at the airport.

So, that's what you were tryin' to tell me, huh, Bo?

Hey, you guys aren't security guards, you're phonies.

And you kidnapped Li Chien Wu.

And you just missed that freight to Seattle, Joe.

[BO GROWLING]

Bo, stay. Or I'll blow you away.

Turn off at the street.

Oh, no, you're not makin' a dognapper outta me.

I'm not goin' anywhere unless it's to take

Li Chien Wu to the dog kennel.

You wanna bet?

Turn left? I'll get right to that.

[ENGINE STARTING]

And I'm happy to report that Li Wien Chu

is in the Metropolitan Kennel now for a two-day check up.

Li Chien Wu, Mr. Cox.

Li Chien Wu.

I'm also happy to report that...

Mr. Cox...In a minute, Stevens.

This is urgent.So, is this teletype.

Where was I, let's see...

Li Chien Wu's in the Metropolitan Kennel, uh, yes, yes.

And I'm happy to say that, uh...

But, he's, he's not.Not what?

He's not at the Metropolitan Kennel.

Of course he is. That's where they took him.

But they didn't.They didn't?

No.

Then where is he?

I don't know.

Well, if you don't know where he is,

how do you know he's not at the Metropolitan Kennel?

He's been stolen.

Stolen? What do you mean, stolen?

Grabbed! Snatched! Purloined! Dognapped!

Oh, stolen. Oh, no.

The kennel just called a few minutes ago.

The truck was left in a city park

with the driver and two guards locked inside.

They managed to get loose just a few minutes ago.

Stolen? This is awful.

Why, the presentation ceremony's set in a couple of days.

Do you know what this means if we don't get that dog back?

[CHATTERING ON TV]

[WHIMPERING]

Well, that was pretty good. I think I'll have another one.

You want a coke, Joe?

The only thing Joe wants is to go to Seattle.

I'll tell you somethin', if I don't get to Seattle in six days,

I'm gonna have one strike against me.

This is Barbara Henderson of KGHG with a late news flash.

This morning I covered the arrival of Li Chien Wu,

a very rare and valuable Chinese dog

that was flown here from China

as gift from the People's Republic to the people of this country.

Well, there may not be any ceremony,

for I have just learned that Li Chien Wu has been stolen.

No!

That's right, stolen.

The daring dognapping was carried out within minutes of Li Chien Wu's arrival

by two men posing as security guards

while a third member of the gang waited in a getaway car.

Wait a minute. I'm not a member of the gang.

Stay tuned to this station for continuing developments.

With all the security we've got at the airport,

they couldn't even secure a dog.

Well, you'll have to admit that it was an unusual and daring plot.

It's the unusual you have to anticipate.

Any fool can plan for the usual.

I'll bet that's why Bo raised all that ruckus at the fence.

He smelled out them crooks and he was going to save Li Chien Wu.

It's too bad that somebody else at the airport

didn't have as much brains as he has.

[SIGHS]

Any word from 'em at the freight yard?

No, sir.

Well, they missed the mornin' freight.

Now, they missed the afternoon freight.

I wonder what the devil they're up to now?

[WHIMPERING]

[DOORBELL RINGING]

Hi.Well, we did it.

Boy, you should've seen that airport.

They're runnin' around there like a bunch of bananas.

Hey, what do you think of all this, Chow Mein?

Betcha you didn't think you'd end up here, right?

ERNIE: Hi.Hi.

Hey...

What's he doin' here?

Yeah, what's this?

Well, he decided to join up with us.

I did not.

He got wise.

Where's Bo?

STEVE: Locked in the shed. He won't give us any trouble.

Yeah, I'll tell you somethin', if anything happens to Bo,

you guys are answering to me.

[STEVE LAUGHING]

This is Barbara Henderson in the office of Leonard Cox of the State Department

as he anxiously awaits word from the dognappers of Li Chien Wu.

What was the motivation for this dognapping?

Will you please stop that infernal whispering?

Please, Mr. Cox, we're or the air, live.

I must have been crazy to let you people in here.

COX: Oh, aspirin, aspirin.

I need more aspirin.

HENDERSON: And that man you hear in the background is Mr. Cox himself.

As you can tell, the tension here in his office

is mounting by by the minute.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

It's them.

Yes. What?

100,000 dollars?

Yes, yes, I'll pay that. I mean, the government will.

Would you repeat that?

This looks like it, folks.

The dognappers have just demanded

100,000 dollar ransom for the return of Li Chien Wu.

Oh, wait a minute. How can I be sure that you have Ching Li Ku?

What?

Okay, Li Chien Wu.

How many wrinkles did he have?

Was he wearing a harness or a collar?

All right, I believe you.

[FINGER SNAPPING]

I'll call you later with the details.

[RINGS OFF]

Wait a minute. Hello? Hello?

Ah, they hung up.

Is that what they asked for, Mr. Cox? 100,000 dollars?

Uh, that is correct.

Frankly, I would've paid them twice that much.

[SHUSHING] We're on the air.

What do you mean, we're still on the air?

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello? What?

Oh, wonderful!

Well, we're up to 200,000 now.

Care to try for four?

Oh, shut up.

I'll tell you what. Uh, if you let me and Bo go,

I'll give you 300,000 dollars.

We'll take it, let's see the dough.

Well, I'm a little short right now.

But, I'll tell you what, I'll give you a note and six percent interest.

Payable when?

Uh, when I own a bank. I'm gonna be a billionaire.

How about eight percent and I'll let you join the Christmas club?

I told you he was a ding-a-ling.

STEVE: Gather around, I'll lay out the pick-up plans for you.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

All right.

Now this is the Barclay Department Store, okay?

And the plaza shopping area.

Okay, this is the parking lot on the...

Foothill Boulevard side.

Okay? All right, now the front is...

Steve.

Let the dummy listen.

He won't do anything about it after we get through with him.

[JEN CHUCKLING]

Okay, then we pick up the dough,

wheel to the airport,

hop into our chartered plane,

and fly on down to South America.

[EXCLAIMING IN SPANISH]

How about that, huh?

ERNIE: That's beautiful, man, that's great.

STEVE: All right, I always like to start on a full stomach.

Now, how about you girls makin' it with a can opener?

JEN: Back in a flash with some hash.

Hey, give me a cigarette, will you?

Get out of here. Wanna get us in trouble?

[WHIMPERING]

Go on, go on, get away.

[BARKING]

Not you.

All right, what's bugging him?

[STUTTERING] I don't...

[WHIMPERING]

What'd you see down there, Li Chien Wu?

Oh, it was just a mouse, just a mouse.

A mouse? Ew!

[EXCLAIMING] I saw one in the kitchen a while ago.

Now stay there. You fool with these American mice

and you're liable to get mugged.

You girls have any coffee there?

[MAN CHATTERING ON TV]

[SWITCHING CHANNELS]

Put that back, will you? These guys are gonna get mad.

Hey! Give me that.

[GROWLING]Ah! All right. Hold it right there.

Put your hands up. Put your hands up.

Geez!

Ouch!

RITA: Oh, wow!

What happened, Steve?

Never mind. Easy...

All right! Now, uh, just gimme that gun.

Take it out with two fingers, and hand it to Bo.

Go get it, Bo.

Okay, here, give me that.

Ah-ha!

So, you guys thought...

[GROWLING]

Hold it right there.

Thought you're dealin' with some kind of dumb...

Dummy, huh? All right, okay.

Okay, you wise guys, it looks like you're outta business, huh?

Okay, come on, Bo.

Get Li Chien Wu and let's get outta here. Come on.

You guys are goin' to jail where you belong.

I'm gonna fire a couple of blasts outside

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