Original subtitles

From out of the pages of DC Comics comes the world's newest and greatest superhero,

Plastic Man!

He can spring!

He can stretch!

He can fly!

He can bounce!

He can change his shape!

And he can even dance!

Each week Plastic Man will face the world's greatest collection of villains!

There's action!

There's comedy!

There's danger!

There's many!

There's bad luck Hula !

There's plenty for everybody on the Plastic Man Comedy Adventure Show!

Eat your heart out, ape man!

EPISODE 5 THE HORRIBLE HALF-APE

So, mark this date well, gentlemen.

You are present for the first demonstration of my invention.

Can we get on with this, Professor Darwin?

We all have our own research to tend to.

Very well, very well.

Now you are all familiar with my theories.

I shall act as subject for the process

in which anthropoidal power shall be vested in me.

What's he talking about?

That thing's going to give him the strength of an ape?

The machine is fully charged.

This is the moment.

Five,

four,

three,

two,

one.

Cut the power to the floor.

Darwin, are you all right?

I'm fine, fine.

Just a minor miscalculation, that's all.

Why are you looking at me like that?

What's wrong?

Oh, oh, no.

There must be a cure, Darwin.

We'll put all our researchers to work.

Keep your pity.

My genius shall find the cure,

and then you shall all pay for failing to recognize my brilliance.

Well, Plas, you did it again.

You defeated the menace of the 50-foot tuna fish.

True.

Now I've got to figure out

what to do with those 90 gallons of mayonnaise I scared him away with.

Penny, what's wrong?

The radar says something's on a collision course with us.

Collision course?

Suffering surfboards.

Do something.

Here it comes.

Full power dive, quick.

Roger.

Keep your fingers crossed.

Penny, get the stabilizer.

Mother of Molochite, help, Plas !

Thanks, Plas.

I've got the jet under control, Plas, and the Chief's calling.

Chief, you won't believe it. A flying saucer just went by, and I...

I know, Plastic Man.

We've been tracking it, and it seems to be heading for Africa.

And you want your best agent to investigate, right?

Yes, but since you're the only one in the neighborhood...

She's just crazy about me.

I've honed in on the flying saucer. It'll be landing in Africa any minute.

Will you be quiet? I'm sick of listening to you.

I know you're half of me, and don't think it doesn't disgust me.

The scientific community never recognized my genius.

I must find a way to make them pay.

What? You see something?

A flying saucer?

Did you see that levitation ray?

The power to move mountains.

Summon your ape friends. I will need help.

The power of the saucer must be mine.

Shh!

Spaceman, I welcome you to Earth.

What brings you here?

We come in peace, Earth-one.

We are of the fourth space quadrant, Beta Blue.

We found our craft to be without power, so we landed here.

Our apologies for moving your mountain, but it was in the way.

Your ship must be filled with many powerful devices.

Yes, but we are out of our power crystals,

the common substances you Earth people call diamonds.

If you could help us obtain some, we could go home.

I'm afraid your return home shall have to be postponed indefinitely.

With the power of their ship, the world shall regret having laughed at me.

No sign of the saucer yet.

Wait! There it is, down there!

That's it, all right. Take her down, Penny.

Roger, Plas.

That's quite a saucer.

I can hardly wait to see the whole set of dishes.

There doesn't seem to be anyone here. I'm going to have a look around.

I don't like the looks of things, Hula-Hula.

My intuition tells me something's awfully wrong.

Intuition? Schmintuition? What could be wrong?

This could be wrong. Plas, help!

Uh-oh, monkey business.

The trouble with you guys is you're always getting wrapped up in your work.

Now that that's over with...

Plas, look out!

Behind you!

Oh, so you want to play, do you? Watch this.

Well, I guess I made baboons out of them.

Don't be too certain, Plastic Man.

This alien freeze ray will hold you.

My loverboy has become a human snow cone.

- Hey ! - Hey !

It's too bad that you dropped in on me.

Now you're all prisoners of Half-Ape.

He speaks always of revenge on your people for having to flee to Africa,

and he will use our spacecraft to get his revenge.

So that's Half-Ape's evil scheme.

If only Plas was able to help us.

It's no use. I can't thaw him out.

He's like a TV dinner.

Now, listen carefully.

Send your apes downriver to the diamond mine in the morning.

Don't raise your voice to me.

And in the morning, we shall tend to that meddling superhero and his friends.

You are tied, so you cannot escape.

I would advise you not to look down.

It's a drop of more than 1,000 feet.

And as the river below is heated by a volcanic source,

it is boiling hot.

You can't leave us here, Half-Ape.

Why, I wouldn't dream of leaving you there.

That is what this candle is for.

To burn through the rope.

And cause the three of you to plunge to the river below.

We've got to get out of here,

or we're all going to wind up hard-boiled.

That rope's burning through.

We've got to hurry.

Hula-Hula, the steam from that river is thawing Plas out.

I just hope it hurries.

Why am I so cold?

Plas !

Oh, dear, sweet defrosted Plas !

Get us out of this quick.

Too late.

I got the rope off.

Plas, do something.

The river below is boiling.

I think I'll go fly a kite.

Plas, you did it again.

What did you find out while I was in the deep freeze?

Half-Ape is sending a bunch of apes to raid the diamond mine downstream.

That's silly. Apes don't wear jewelry.

An occasional necktie, maybe, but...

Diamonds power the spacemen's devices.

Half-Ape is gonna use them for revenge on Earth.

Revenge on Earth?

We've got to stop them. Come on.

That's the diamond mine.

And there are the apes.

Well, doing your Christmas shoplifting a bit early, aren't you?

You apes came to this mine for diamonds, and I aim to stop you.

Plas is outnumbered. Three to one.

I'd better go give him a hand.

Hula-Hula! Wait!

Remember your bad luck!

You're liable to run into a panther or something.

Jumping papayas. Nobody's luck is that bad.

Except mine.

Hey, you guys play too rough for me.

I've just about reached my limit.

Plas, help!

Uh-oh. Looks like that oversized pussycat is about to grab a snack.

Sorry to be a party pooper, boys, but duty calls.

Help!

Nice kitty.

Down, kitty!

Help!

Time to put the cat out.

Plas, the apes got away with the diamonds.

Cheer up, Penny. Things can't get worse.

It's the Chief calling.

Well, what do you know? Things just got worse.

Come in, Chief.

We have a code one emergency, Plastic Man.

Three minutes ago, every TV station in the world received this message.

People of Earth, this is Cygnus, leader of the planet Beta Blue.

Two of our spacemen have been captured in your world.

We must demand that they're released immediately !

If they are not released within 10 hours,

I shall give a command to destroy your planet.

Get us back to Half-Ape's camp fast.

We've got to release those aliens he captured.

Or it's bye-bye Earth.

Too late.

They're all gone.

Half-Ape and his gorilla goons.

The cell where the aliens were is empty.

The apes must have gotten back here with the diamonds to power the saucer.

And Half-Ape took them all away in the saucer with him.

Come on, we've got to catch them.

Get out of here !

Get out or I'll call the police !

The whole door, right off the wall !

Yes, you're right.

They should be through getting the diamonds by now.

You can't detain us.

Return to us our spacecraft.

We were to report in many time cycles ago.

Our whole planet shall be missing us.

Oh, they already miss you.

I heard on the radio, if I do not let you free soon, they shall attack Earth.

You would allow that?

I would prefer it.

This world shall pay for what it has done to Half-Ape.

See, even he likes it.

Ah, they return with many diamonds to power this ship.

The more diamonds I have, the greater my power.

Enough even to escape Earth before its destruction.

Now to test the disintegration ray.

Excellent.

It is almost at full strength.

I know time is running out, Chief.

We didn't stop at this hotel to goof off.

We stopped here so Hula-Hula could check with his contacts

and find out where Half-Ape may strike next.

Well, get on it, Plastic Man.

Time is running out for the Earth.

I called all my friends in the diamond biz.

They'll be calling me back any minute.

Paging Mr. William Munger.

William Munger?

That's me.

It's a code name.

This will be Minnesota Mel calling me back.

Aloha, Mel.

What's up?

Paging Mr. Tex Festermarker.

Tex Festermarker?

That's me.

I thought your name was William Munger.

It is, but all my friends call me Tex Festermarker.

Howdy there, Slim.

What's up?

Uh-huh.

Slim says Half-Ape certain to steal the Klopman diamond.

Paging Mr. Hula-Hula.

I didn't give anyone that name.

The Klopman diamond is the largest in the world.

It's now on display at the San Francisco Museum.

What do we do, Plas?

Head for San Francisco.

We're gonna be there when Half-Ape strikes.

Shhh.

My friend sure called this one right.

Quiet! I hear him coming!

Well, he got the chest.

I just hope poor precious Plas knows what he's doing.

Now I have enough diamonds and enough power to show the world.

Have one of your apes open the chest.

Just call me Plas in the box.

Plastic Man, get him.

This is what's known as springing into action.

Uh-oh, they're ganging up on me.

You heard him.

Capture Plastic Man.

I hope this works.

I don't have a lot of time.

Boy, they play naughty around here.

Good work.

Now put that meddler into the ejector launch.

I'll rid myself of Plastic Man now and forever.

Farewell, Plastic Man.

You'll drift through space forever.

Something's wrong, Hula-Hula.

Very wrong.

Plas, can you hear me?

What is your position?

Kind of all scrunched up.

Half-Ape cast me adrift out here in outer space.

Well, don't worry.

I have an idea how to save you.

Where are we going?

You'll see.

Ten,

nine,

eight,

seven,

six,

five,

four,

three.

I just hope we're in time, General.

Don't worry.

That rocket will reach orbit with your friend in 20 minutes.

Two,

one.

We have ignition.

This is gonna be a long 20 minutes.

Plas, can you hear me?

I hear you, Penny.

I don't see the rocket anywhere.

Wait, there it is.

I see it.

Grab onto it, Plas.

You only get one chance.

I'm trying, but it's too far.

Stretch farther, Plas.

You've got to do it.

I'm stretching.

Oh, is this arm gonna be sore tomorrow?

Got it.

Oh, hooray, he did it.

Oh, I'm so glad.

And just in time.

That rocket's heading back to Earth.

Yahoo!

Hi-yo, Mercury.

Let's go pick him up when he splashes down in the ocean.

Then we'll take care of Half-Ape.

This dam shall be a symbol of my power!

There! My face has been immortalized in stone!

What do you mean I showed your bad side?

The emergency alarm! We've lost power!

But that's impossible! We'll have to land!

The alien starfleet is nearing Earth! We've got to catch Half-Ape !

According to the radar scope, Half-Ape has landed in the Mojave Desert.

I wonder why?

Well, it might have something to do with the fact

that I ripped out his fuel lines while I was in the saucer.

Plas, your perfect!

That infernal Plastic Man!

He sabotaged the saucer! Show me how to repair it!

We refuse, enemy of your people!

Plastic Man, here ?

Let us come with you, Plas.

No! This is between Half-Ape and me!

He's so brave!

The bravest!

He's coming, but the disintegration ray will stop him once and for all!

Uh-oh! Bad place to be!

You can't avoid me for long, rubberhead.

I'll never make it across the desert to him.

So let's see where this gopher hole goes.

I can't see where Plas went.

How much longer have we got, Chief?

The invasion force from that planet is heading this way.

We have five minutes before interplanetary war begins.

Come on, Plas. You can do it.

Where is he? Where did he go?

You can't escape me, Plastic Man. Not a chance.

The world will pay for mocking me.

I shall...

Mustn't play with the nasty machine. Naughty, naughty.

You won't stop me, Plastic Man.

Say hello to the long arms of the law, Half-Ape.

Now I'm gonna stow you someplace while I stop a space war.

Radio your home planet.

Tell them you're okay.

Task force to Beta Blue.

We are released.

Repeat, we are released.

We read you.

All forces reverse course.

Return to home base.

Invision of Earth cancelled.

All units acknowledge.

We thank you for the rescue.

Indeed, what will become of the semi-antropoid ?

Oh, Half-Ape ?

Well, we put him in our jet and we're taking him to the authorities.

They'll take care of him.

We shall undo the damage he did and replace all of the diamonds,

including the ones we must borrow for fuel to return home.

Gee, that'll be expensive.

Those things don't grow on trees.

On our planet, they do.

Farewell.

You have done much.

Thank you.

Plas, you did it again.

All in a day's work.

You know what I regret?

I never got a chance to get my hands on one of those big, dumb apes.

I could have used a workout.

Workout?

Sure, I'm not afraid of a couple of monkeys.

Why, I'd... I'd...

I'd... I'd... Leap and lava.

Help!

Help!

Hula-Hula !

They're harmless without Half-Ape controlling them.

We're taking them to a zoo.

I don't care if you're taking them to a movie.

I'm not riding with them.

Subtitle made by Adr1an