All language subtitles for Last Man Standing S03E18 Project Mandy

"Last Man Standing" Is Recorded

In Front Of A Live
Studio Audience.

Huh. For A Bunch
Of College Kids,

This Fashion Show's
Really Impressive.

Why? 'Cause They Make Clothes?

8-Year-Olds Do This In
Sweatshops Every Day.

I'm Enjoying The
Heck Out Of This, Mike.

Music, Colors, Spectacle.

Ever Since You Opened
Up That Pot Shop,

The Whole World's Just One Big

Pink Floyd Laser Light
Show To You, Isn't It?

I Just Sell The
Marijuana. I Don't Use It.

If I Want To Get Dizzy,
I'll Climb A Flight Of Stairs.

Kyle. Kyle! You Can Zip Her Up.

If You Were Zipping Her Down,
Maybe I Would Have A Problem.

It's Okay. I'm Good At Doing
This With My Eyes Closed.

I Help My Grandma Get
Dressed All The Time.

Eve, Why Aren't You
Dressed? We're Up Next.

Yeah. Small Problem.

There's A Mirror In There.

I-I'm Not Wearing
This In Public.

Come On. You Can Pull This Off.

I Know. I Just Did.

You Can Give Me
Something Else To Wear

Or Eight Of These
Sewn Into A Burka.

This Is Why Tim Gunn Would
Call A "Make It Work" Moment.

Eve, Look.

I Know That You
Aren't That Into Fashion,

But You Are The Kind Of
Model Every Designer Dreams Of.

Really? Yes. You Have The
Body Of A 12-Year-Old Boy.

Keep Talking And I'll Have The
Head Of A 19-Year-Old Sister.

You Said That You
Would Help Me With This.

If You Don't, I'm
Gonna Fail The Class.

Fine.

According To The
Program, Mandy's Up Next.

And We Can Get A
Pretty Sweet Discount

From A Local Print Shop.

Now Here's A Collection From
Freshman Designer Mandy Baxter.

Why Do They Always
Look So Angry?

Maybe They Took
Denver In The Super Bowl.

Oh, Now I'm Angry.

I'd Be Pretty Angry, Too, If I
Hadn't Eaten Since I Was 9.

Come On. It's The Style.

They're Supposed To Look Fierce.

That's Not Fierce.

The Viet Cong Were Fierce.

Fierce Is Angrier, Meaner,

More Like, Uh...

That.

What Have They Done To My Son?

Eve Looks Amazing.

It's Been So Long Since I've
Seen Her Legs Without Shin Guards.

Watch Those High Heels.
Don't Roll Your Ankle. Eve!

You Got A Soccer
Game On Saturday.

Designer Mandy Baxter.

Well, Feminism
Has Come Full Circle.

50 Years Ago, Women
Went To College

So They Wouldn't Have To Sew.

I Was Really Impressed
With Mandy's Designs.

I Always Knew There
Was Something Going On

In That Pretty
Little Head Of Hers.

I Always Pictured A Wind-Up
Monkey Playing Cymbals.

And, Evie, Wow!

Honey, Honey, You Were
Like A Real Runway Model.

Yeah. I'm Gonna
Go Take A Shower.

I Wonder Which Body Scrub Is
Best For Washing Away Shame.

Hello, Everyone.
Ah, Here She Is!

Bravo, Mandy.

Honey, God, Your Collection Was
So Fresh And Original. Thank You.

You Really Did A
Good Job. Thanks, Dad.

You Know, I Could See Myself

Rocking One Of These
Cute Little Rompers.

Yeah. You Know, It's
Just That They're, Um,

Well, They're Rompers,
Not Mom-Pers.

I'm Trying To Build A Brand Now.

You Know, Somebody
Might See You.

Fine. I'll Just Wear The
Competition's Clothes, Then.

Oh, Would You? That
Would Be Great, Actually.

You Know, You Better
Take It Easy On Your Mom.

This Will Happen To You One Day.

Hey!

Yeah, Thanks For Having My Back.

You Better Watch Yours
While You're Sleeping.

You Know, Mandy,

Your Clothes Definitely
Got The Best Response.

Your... Your Teacher Must
Have Been Super Impressed.

Uh, Yeah. Not Impressed Enough,
Though. She Gave Me A B-Minus.

Really? Seriously?

Seriously. She Said
It Was "Derivative."

I Guess I've Seen
Things Like This Before,

But, You Know,
Then Again, I'm 100.

You Shouldn't Let One Tough Teacher
Discourage You, Okay? Yeah, I Won't.

Good For You. Mm-Hmm.

'Cause I'm Quitting School.

What? I Mean, I'm
Wasting My Time In College.

You Saw That Response Today.

Even You Wanted
One Of My Rompers.

I Am Literally
Turning Away Orders.

So If You Guys Need Me,

I Will Be Downstairs
Making Magic.

Did You Hear What She Just Said?

She's Talking About
Quitting School.

All I Heard Was

A Wind-Up Monkey
Playing Cymbals.

Captions By Vitac...

We're Not Gonna
Let Her Quit School.

I'm Kind Of With Mandy.

What Does A College
Education Even Mean Anymore?

Well, Had You Finished
College, Maybe You'd Know.

I Am Just Saying,

A Million People Graduate
From College Every Year

And There Are Only
5,000 Jobs. What?

I'm Just Making
Stuff Up Like You Do.

Listen.

Once Obama's Out Of Office,
There's Gonna Be Jobs Again.

Someone's Sure Looking Forward
To Hillary's Economic Recovery.

What? What Does She
Know? She's Got A G.E.D.

When Do You Want
To Go Downstairs

And Straighten Out Mandy?

When This Level Gets
To Right About Here.

Hey. Oh, My God.

So, I Just Came Up With
A Name For My Company...

Mandy Candy.

Nope. Urban Dictionary Says
That's A Street Name For Crack.

So Never Mind.

Mandy, Honey, We're Not
Letting You Quit College.

Why Not? You Guys
Let Me Quit Saxophone.

That Was Really More For Us.

Okay. But Hear Me Out. I Have
The Whole Thing Figured Out.

Ready? So, My Tuition Is
$6,000, Right? Mm-Hmm.

So, Instead Of Paying That,

You Guys Should
Just Give Me $5,000

So I Can Start My Business.

Boom! I Just Made You $1,000.

You're Welcome.
It's A No-Brainer.

It Certainly Is.

What Would You
Even Do With $5,000?

Well, If I'm Gonna Make Rompers,

Than I Need To
Buy More Materials

And I Can't Use My Credit Card.

Wait. You... You Maxed
Out Your Credit Card?

What? No.

I'm Not Irresponsible, Mom.

I Lost It.

Um...

By The Way, What Do You
Do When That Happens?

I Know You're Supposed To, Like,

Call The Number On The
Back Of The Card, Yeah?

But, Like, How Dumb Is That?

Because I Don't Have The Card.

Wherever The Card
Is Now, It's Maxed Out.

Honey, We... We Can't
Let Her Ruin Her Credit.

We're Gonna Have
To Cancel The Card

And We've Got To
Pay Off All Her Debt.

Calm Down, Bernanke.

We're Not Gonna Bail Her Out.

She's Not Too Big To Fail.

Well, Why Don't You
Guys Just Give Me

The $5,000 To Launch My Brand

And Then I Can Pay
You Back When I'm Rich?

Or You Go Back To School.

As Much As I Hate Giving Up
That $1,000 You Found To Give Me.

You Guys Can't Make
Me Stay In School.

We Can't Make You?

You're In A Sound-Proof
Basement With A Sewing Machine.

I Could Make A Suit Out Of You.

This Is So Unfair.

You're Always Telling
Us To Follow Our Dreams

And, Like, Swing
For The Goal Posts.

I Don't Think Anybody
Ever Said That.

And Now I Finally Find

The One Thing That
I Really Want To Do,

And You Won't Even Let Me.

No, Not As Long As
You're Living Here

And We're Paying For Everything!

Are We Crushing Her Dream?

We Keep Crushing Them,

And They Keep Coming
Up With New Ones.

Here You Go.

Hey, Mike Baxter
Here For Outdoor Man.

You Know What's Even Better
Than Making Them Pry A Rifle

Out Of Your Cold, Dead Hands?

Holding One In Your
Live, Warm Ones.

And If You Want
To Own This Beauty,

We Have A Special Thing
Called A Layaway Plan.

Now, Here's How It Works.

You Spend A Few Months
Laying Away The Money.

And When You Have Enough, You
Come On Down And Buy The Gun.

Spending Only What You Have.

Oh, Wow.

Crazy Concept, Right?

Our 30Th President,
Calvin Coolidge, Said,

"There's No Dignity
Quite So Impressive

As Living Within Your Means."

Now, Coolidge Got To The Top
Through Hard Work, Frugality,

And The Suspicious
Death Of Warren G. Harding.

Of Course, It's Kind Of
Hard To Imagine People

Living Within Their Means

When The Very Government
Coolidge Once Presided Over

Runs Up His Credit-Card Debt

Like The Real
Housewives Of Dubai.

"'Do Buy' This, 'Do Buy' That.

'Doo-Bye, ' Fiscal
Responsibility."

So, Come On Down To
Outdoor Man And Drop A Bundle

So I Can Live Within My Means,

Because, Trust Me...

I Got A Big Nut.

You Know, Mike,

The Deficit Is Going
Down Under Obama.

Actually, It's At Its Lowest
Point In The Last Five Years.

Well, Yeah. He Saved All That Money
By Not Having Security In Benghazi.

Could You Come Over Here And
Sign This Stuff For Me, Please?

Yeah, Of Course, Of Course.

I Did A Calculation Once...

Spent Roughly 17% Of
My Life Signing Documents.

That's Sad.

It's Sad That You Took
Time To Do That Calculation.

No, It's Sad That You
Do All That Signing.

It's Sad About The Hair.

Everything's Sad. It's All Sad.

Oh, Well. I'm Rich, So I Win.

Do You Ever Regret
Not Going To College?

Did You Hear Me?

I'm Rich. I Won.

Although, There Was
This Movie I Saw Once...

Made College Seem
Like A Lot Of Fun.

It Was Called "The
Animal House."

Mandy Wants To
Quit Going To College

And Start Her Own Business.

Attagirl. A Lot Of Successful
Guys Didn't Get Their Degrees...

Steve Jobs, Bill Gates,
Mark Zuckerberg.

Name One More.

Everybody Mentions Those Three.

Statistically, People With
Diplomas Make More Money

Than People That
Don't Have Them.

Maybe If Bill Gates
Had Gone To College,

Instead Of Being A Billionaire,

He Would Have
Been A Trillionaire.

That's Got To Haunt Him.

Everything Isn't About Money.

Yeah, For Some Of Us,
It's About Finding Our Bliss.

Luckily, Your Bliss Is Money.

What's Mandy's?

Fashion Design.

That's A Terrible Bliss.

Kid Should Stay In School.

I Beg Your Pardon, Sirs,

But I Believe In
Mandy's Fashion Career.

I Mean, She's Already
Got Two Major Investors.

Who?

Well, I'm In For 20 Big Ones.

Dollars.

And Her Grandfather
Gave Her $5,000.

What?

That's... That's Nuts.

I Know. It's A Risky Investment.

It's A Risk I'm Willing To Take.

Well, Looks Like Your
Dad Is Raking In The Dough

At The Marijuana Store, Huh?

Another Guy Who
Didn't Go To College.

Just Because You're Rich
Doesn't Mean You're Smart.

You Are Talking
About Your Dad, Right?

Sure.

So, Are You Guys
Letting Mandy Quit School?

No Way.

Your Dad Is Pretty
Mad At Your Grandpa

For Sticking His
Nose In With Her.

That's Hilarious.

Dad Does Nothing But Interfere
With How Ryan And I Raise Boyd.

Honey, Your Father Feels Like

He's Got Something
To Teach Boyd.

Oh, Yeah, Sure...

Lotion On Door Knobs, Plastic
Wrap Across Toilet Seats.

Lotion On Toilet Seats.

One Time, I Slid Right
Off Into The Hallway.

Um, Yeah, Well,

I Can't Believe Grandpa
Bud Gave Mandy 5,000 Bucks.

I Mean, Does He Remember
He Has Three Granddaughters?

You Know, He Sometimes Even
Jokes That He's Got Fo Granddaughters

Because I Look So... Young.

How's, Uh, H-How's Your
History Paper Coming Over There?

Great.

I'm Thinking About
Dropping Out Of School

And Opening Up
A History Business.

Where's My 5,000 Bucks?

Nice Try, But The Role Of
School Dropout In This Family

Has Already Been Filled.

Wow.

I... Okay.

I Am Managing Two
Restaurants, Okay,

And Probably Making
More Than You Did

When You Started
Off As A Geologist.

I Didn't Get Into
Geology For The Money.

Mm. So, Was It For The
Fame Or All The Free Rocks?

You Can't Think Of College
As A Pathway To Making Money.

It's... It's About
Opening Your World Up,

About Allowing Yourself To
Be Astonished And Excited

By Fascinating New...
Um, Mom, Mom, Mom.

This Ends With You Being
A Geologist, Remember?

Funny Story.

When I First Started
At Ohio State,

Believe It Or Not,

I Thought I Might Want
To Be A Paleontologist.

That's Not Funny Or A Story.

The Point Is, College Is A Time
When Anything Can Happen.

Or Almost Nothing.

Uh, You Know, College Is One
Way To Broaden Your Horizons,

But It May Not Be
The Path For Mandy.

Yeah, As The Girl Who Wrote
All Of Her High School Papers,

I'd Have To Agree With That.

Say Whatever You Want,
But Mandy's Finishing College

And, Eve, So Help Me, So Are You

Or I Will Make You Into Clothes.

What?

It's A Threat Your
Dad Made. I...

It Sounded Better
When He Said It.

Hey, Dad? Dad?

Come On In, Michael.

Hey, What's With The...
What's With All The Geezers?

I Got A Retirement
Home Three Doors Down.

I Get A Lot Of Foot Traffic.

I'm Thinking Of
Putting In A Ramp.

So, Gram Used To
Stay Home To Bake.

Now She Stays Home
Because She's Baked.

So, I Guess This
Is About The, Uh...

Five Grand I Gave Mandy?

Yeah, Dad. It's Way
Too Much Money.

Not For Me These Days, Mike.

People Love Their
Marijuana. Who Knew?

Everybody.

Everybody Knew, Dad.

Well, I Just Hope The Fad Lasts.

Listen. We Got A Problem Here

Because I Told Mandy
She Couldn Quit School.

You Give Her Money
So She Can Quit School.

I Really Believe
She's Talented, Mike.

I Was Very Impressed
With This Fashion Show.

You Know, Every
Parent's Nightmare

Is That A Drug Dealer
Will Corrupt Their Kid.

Who Would Have Thought
That The Drug Dealer

Would Be Their Grandfather?

She's Not A Kid Anymore.

You're Trying To Control
Her With Your Money.

She's A 19-Year-Old Girl.

What Am I Supposed
To Use? Logic?

Those Things Never Worked
With You When You Were 19.

You Were Bull-Headed
And Right About Everything.

And I Still Am. And You're Trying
To Control My Kid With Your Money

Just Like You
Tried To Control Me.

No! I Didn't Give You Money
So You Could Quit School.

I Gave You Money So That You Could Go
To School So You Could Become An Engineer.

Yeah, So I Could Work For Your
Construction Company. Remember That?

We Needed An Engineer.

We Were Pretty Much
Winging The Big Projects.

Remember When I Wanted To
Change Majors Into Marketing?

Remember What You Told Me?

"It's A Dead-End Job.
You'll End Up Homeless."

And You Did. Because You
Kicked Me Out Of The House.

What's The Worst
Thing That Happens?

Mandy Fails And
Falls On Her Ass.

She'll Learn More From That
Than Any College Classroom.

How About This? Let
Me Parent My Own Kid

And You Just Stay Out Of This.

Better Not Buy Too
Much Of This Stuff.

One Of These Days,

It'll Be Your Grandkids
Clearing Out Your Room.

Oh, Um, Blanca, Look.

I Don't Want You To Treat Me Any
Differently Now That I'm Your Boss.

Oh, Don't Worry, Miss Mandy.

I Will Smile And Shove
All My True Feelings Inside

Like I Do With All My Employers.

Oh, Miss Vanessa, Mr. Mike!

How's My Favorite Couple?

I'm Not So Good 'Cause I'm
Looking For My Basement.

I Used To Have It. It
Was Right In This Area.

Have You Seen My
Basement? Mm-Hmm.

Your Basement Is Now The
Home Of Mandy Baxter Fashions.

Let Me Give You The Grand Tour.

So, This Over Here
Is The Photo Studio.

This Is The Shipping Center.

This Is Just A Chair.

And This Is Blanca
Alvarez, My Minority Partner.

I Don't Think That Means
What You Think It Means.

Oh, I'm Just Excited To
Be In On The Ground Floor

Down Here Below
The... Ground Floor.

All Right. Mandy, Honey, Listen.

We're Shutting You Down.

Y-You Got To Give That
Money Back To Grandpa Bud.

No, But I-I Can't Stop Now.

Look At What I Was
Able To Do With It.

Now, So Far, We're
Only On Etsy And Ebay,

But I'm Setting Up
My Own Website,

Although I've Had
A Little Bit Of Trouble

Getting The Rights
To The Name Mandy.

It's Owned By Some Guy
Named Barry Manilow.

Listen, You've Done A
Good Job Down Here,

But You've Got To Give The
Five Grand Back To My Dad.

I Just Told You I Don't Have It.

I Had To Pay Off
My Credit-Card Debt

And Then I Had To
Buy New Materials.

These Are All Brand-New?

Um, No. I Mean, I Get
Them At Discount Stores

And Then I Re-Purpose
Them Into My Rompers.

I've Got, Like,
82 Orders To Fill.

You Have 82 Orders?

No. I Mean, That...
That's Not Even Possible.

You've Only Been Doing
This, Like... Like Three Days.

It's Not Possible.

Um, You're Right. That
Number Isn't Accurate.

She Didn't Count Right.
Let's See. Now It's 83.

Oh, Sorry. 84.

Look, I Know That This
Sounds Crazy To You Guys,

But This Is What
I Was Born To Do.

This Is What I Want To Do
With The Rest Of My Life.

Honey, Listen. You Might Think
That Now, But I... I Mean, Honestly,

This Reminds Me Of My
Flirtation With Paleontology.

I Thought That That Was Gonna
Be A Good Thing. Let's Not Go There.

You Were Trying To Make
College Sound Like A Good Thing.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

I'm Leaving School To
Design Clothes, Okay?

And If That Means That I Have To
Move Out To Do It On My Own, Then I Will.

No. Now You're
Just Being Stubborn.

And Bull-Headed.

And I Like It.

You Do? It's Pure Baxter.

She Might Actually Be Able To
Pull This Off. Really? You Think So?

Don't Fade On Me Now.
I Like Your Determination.

Okay, Now, Listen. I Have Never Worked
So Hard On Anything In My Entire Life...

Even My Effortless Smile. Hold
On Just A Second. Listen To This.

She's Got Material Already.
She's Got Some Orders Coming In.

Maybe If She Takes Off One
Semester And She Tries This... Come On.

Just To Get Rid Of
The Stuff She's Got.

And You're Gonna Help Her
With Her Business? Uh, Uh...

Dad, Please, Please, Please? I'll Do Anything.
I'll Even Make You A Minority Partner.

Better Not Be Coming
Out Of My End.

You Know What Was Really Smart

Is Re-Purposing
All This Material.

It Brings Your
Capital Costs Down.

Distribution Can Be
Streamlined Very Simply.

I Just Think It's
All About Branding.

I Love This.

You Are Already Talking To Me

Like I Understand
What You're Saying.

Mr. B?

You Know What? That's Okay.

You Just Sit There. I'll
Get The Door. It's Okay.

Way Ahead Of You, Baby.

Hi. Thank You. Wow.

More Overstock From The
Outdoor Man Warehouse.

So, Mandy's Making Rompers
From Old Hunting Clothes?

Yeah. It's A Bunch Of
Stuff We Couldn't Unload,

So It Was Either Sell It To
Mandy Or Give It To The Homeless.

This Way, Everybody Wins.

Except The Homeless.

If They Could Scrape
Together The 38 Bucks,

No One's Stopping Them
From Buying A Romper.

All Right. I'll Just Take
These Downstairs.

If Someone Could Get The
Basement Door For Me...

Or I Could Just Get It.

Geez. You Know,
We Got A Front Door!

Hey. I've Been Out Front
Knocking For Five Minutes.

Oh. There's A Lot Of Noise
Coming From The Basement.

Probably Raccoons.

This Came To My
Office This Morning.

You Know Anything About It?

From Mandy Baxter Fashions?

That's The First Installment
Of The Loan You Gave Her.

It Wasn't Supposed To Be A Loan.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I
Know. But, You Know,

It Teaches Her A Little Bit
Of Financial Responsibility.

She's Got To Learn She Can't
Make The Check Out To "Grandpa."

I Just Wanted To Help Her Out.

I Know You Did. I Know... You
Know, Make Up For Not Supporting You

Back When You Were In College.

It's All Right, Dad.

It Was Good That I
Had To Pay For College.

It Taught Me About
Being Responsible

And How To Live In A
Six-Cylinder Gremlin.

I Guess I'm Just Trying
To Grow As A Person

And A Lot Of Other Crap
Nobody Used To Ever Have To Do

After They Hit 60.

Why Don't I Just Pay
You Back For The Tuition

That I Didn't Cover For You?

Dad, We're Square.

You've Done A Lot For Me.

Fine.

I Just Want You To Know I
Got So Much Damn Money Now,

I'm Actually Looking For
Things To Throw It Away On.

I Wonder If Romney
Will Run Again.

That Would Be Throwing It Away.

I Love That. Just Be, Like,
Super Casual. But Then Be Like...

Just Like That.

Mike?

Hey, Bud. Come Here.

Come See What Mandy Did
With Last Year's Hunting Jackets.

- Whoa.
- Yeah.

It Looks Like You
Shot Your Pants Off.

Okay, Now, Eve, Give Me A Look

That Says, "I Am
Owning This Romper."

Yes. Yes.

Yes!

Oh, Incidentally, You C
Own This Romper For $38.

Oh, Or Two For $100.

You're Looking Good, Eve.

Thanks, Grandpa.

Um, Can I Have 5,000 Bucks?

Sure. Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad.

Evie, Make Sure You Lock
That Gun Back Up. Okay.

Bet You're Real
Proud Of This Kid Here.

Oh, We're Proud
Of All Our Girls, Bud.

Yeah, She Says
That All The Time,

But Now It Actually May Be True.

So, Encouraging Her To
Quit School Wasn't So Bad.

You Know, I Have Been Thinking
About That. Why Can't I Do Both?

Honey, Really? You Thinking
About Staying In School?

Yeah. I Mean, U.C. Denver Has
Some Pretty Interesting Classes

In Marketing And Businessing.

Maybe Pick Up A
Class In Englishing.