Original subtitles

December 14. Saturday.

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Account balance: $98.20 Available balance: $98.20

I'm nearly done. Stop that.

- This is a robbery! - Okay.

- Are you robbing my money or body? - Money!

Leave my face alone. I make my living on it!

- Give me your money! - Okay.

What's the PIN? Give me $50,000!

$50,000? Take a look yourself. $98.2 is all I've got!

$50,000 in this bad economy? Are you nuts?

- Did you just empty your account? - No.

You have so little money? What kind of loser are you?

Look, do you have $2 in your account?

Transfer $2 to my account

so you'll get $100 cash.

The PIN is 691234.

Take it yourself.

Hey, there's a CCTV camera.

It captured you. Take it yourself.

Since you want money, take $100, right? Have fun.

What did you do?

Why did you lock the door?

There's a power outage.

- Why? - How on earth would I know?

It must be the storm.

What now?

I'm calling 999.

What can the police do with a power outage? Why are you calling that?

What are you doing? Keep your hands to yourself.

I'm calling the Fire Department.

- Why are you... - To get them to open the door.

But that will bring the cops too!

Yes, your face is captured on video anyway.

Give me that knife.

My face is captured? There's no power for that!

The power was on earlier. Let's pretend this didn't happen.

You didn't rob me.

Give me the knife.

Give it back! Give it back now!

Okay.

Calm down. I'm not calling anyone, okay?

Stay calm and let's pretend nothing happened.

You didn't rob me and I wasn't robbed.

We'll wait this out and then we'll leave, okay?

Come here.

- What are you doing? - These are mine!

Have a beverage, here.

Sit down. Have a beverage.

Let's be friends and chat a bit.

This is going to be a long night.

I can tell you stories.

Why would I listen to them?

I'll tell you funny stories.

Nothing is funny. I haven't smiled in three years!

They're funny. I'll tell you my work stories.

What do you do?

I'm a chicken.

I'll tell you the story of a One-Chicken-Brothel.

I want a hooker!

Aunt Four, sorry, wrong apartment again.

You got the wrong one. It's flat D, not B.

Okay. Turn.

Go straight.

Keep going.

Go past the CCTV camera.

On your right. Stop looking!

Go straight.

That's it!

I want a hooker.

I know. Surely you're not here for a haircut?

A detergent?

No, it's shower gel. The original bottle is broken.

Can you call my name while we're doing it?

Sure, an extra $20 for honey

$30 for hubby.

Any other words?

Aside from hubby, it's $20 each.

Can I kiss you on the lips later?

That will cost an extra $100.

I haven't kissed for a long time, not since my girlfriend dumped me.

- Is that so? - I miss her so much.

Can you do it the way she did?

Sure, how did she do it?

Are you happy?

My boyfriend, are you happy?

Mom says she hasn't seen you for a while.

When are you free to visit her?

After work, we can go visit the old lady.

You must accompany me

to visit my mom, okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Say this.

I'm shy.

You must take me to her.

You're always shy.

A bite for my Snow Sow.

Snow Sow!

My Snow Sow. Call my name.

What should I call you?

Snow Sow

liked to call me

Steely Willy.

Steely Willy?

Snow Sow.

Scratch my back, Snow Sow!

- What? - Scratch my back!

Use more force! Now bite my shoulder hard!

My shoulder!

Bite me!

And squeeze the zits on my back!

- Do it! - Squeeze it?

Snow Sow!

What now?

This wasn't how she looked.

She looked a lot sweeter.

Be sweeter.

Keep moaning for me!

Moan!

Steely Willy!

My Steely Willy.

I love you, Snow Sow!

I still cry from laughing every time I tell that story.

Hey, is it not funny to you?

Everyone I told it to before found it funny.

How can I laugh?

Your life is so tragic.

Have you ever heard the song "Tragedy of Blood"?

Bloody tragic, it's bloody tragic

Bloody tragic, it's bloody tragic

- It's really bloody tragic - You're crazy.

What's so tragic about it?

I've met so many interesting people while being a chicken.

I sure had a lot of fun.

I really must tell you this.

At the massage parlor

do you know who I saw?

Who?

I saw...

Hello!

Hello.

Not too hard.

Sure.

Sir, how should I address you? Have I served you before?

I'd like to quietly sleep.

Okay.

Not too hard.

Want an oil rub?

What are you doing there?

Sorry.

Andy!

Andy, I am a big fan of yours!

I love your songs and I just watched Days of Tomorrow!

When did you cut your hair?

I just want to quietly sleep.

- Just massage my head. - Okay.

Here, get a pillow.

Andy.

You're so slim in person.

You have hairy legs.

This kumquat beverage was recommended by Andy.

No one cares about you

- Sing while walking - Hey, enough. Stop!

You've got a vivid imagination, don't you?

What do you mean? Every word I just said is true.

I've been a hooker since I was 15.

A hooker at 15?

Great oaks from little acorns grow.

It all began in the late '70s.

I took my first subway ride to work at a fish ball joint.

Princess Alexandra is the host of the opening ceremony

of the Mass Transit Railway in Central Station today.

The princess rode a special train first

to break through the hanging ribbon on the track.

Then she went to the hall to host the opening ceremony.

Fish ball stands were the centre of entertainment.

They were all over the streets during the late '70s and early '80s.

There was this slogan back then

"Interesting and fun, fish balling is the trick."

Chow Yunfat is kissing Carol Cheng!

- What are you doing? - I watch this daily!

I'll kiss you. I kiss better than him.

Out of my way! I'm watching!

- You're naughty. - Are you Kumyue?

That's right.

You have a nice chest for your age.

It's my bottom you're grabbing.

How old are you?

I'm 15. Are you satisfied?

- Yes. - Go on then!

You're so naughty, but I love you so.

Maybe because you're always working in the dark

your eyes are sensitive to light.

First, you might experience dizziness.

Then you might become blind.

What exactly do you do?

I work in my dad's darkroom for film processing.

Granny, I'm returning all the fish balls.

- I'm quitting. - Okay.

Good luck!

I want to be a hostess!

A fish can't grow big in a small pond.

A chicken can't be sold if it stays in place.

So once I turned 18, I moved to a bigger pond.

Numbers 8, 10, and 12 are good.

I'll take them on my team.

Number 18, go in. Number 19, go out.

Dragon, we have more ladies tonight than the Miss Hong Kong Pageant.

Sir, instead of joining the pageant

they might as well be a hostess.

I'm number 19, Shirley Au.

Many guys like to get in bed with me.

After waking up, they all compliment my skills.

You don't believe me? Try it.

Say no more, you're hired.

Next!

Say something.

My men

say that my skills are good too.

I don't believe you!

Nice! Kum is fab!

Isn't she fabulous? She knows what she's doing.

Kum! Show us more!

Gentlemen, may I present to you our Action Queen

Miss Kum!

I saw this cute little bag.

Buy the biggest one. Is that enough?

I can even buy luggage with this.

It's big enough for two.

Sir, I saw this red, white, and blue plastic bag.

- Here, go buy it. - Thank you, sir.

- Continue doing your kung fu. - Okay!

Fabulous! Here I go!

Can you buy it with me?

Sure.

That chick finally got her breasts done!

Crossed-eyed breasts?

They're diverged, facing outward. Crossed-eyed faces inward!

- Thank you for coming! - Have a nice evening!

Make your formation more orderly at the back.

Good evening, Mr. Yui. How are you?

Mr. Chan!

Good morning, Mr. Han!

Hey, Dragon!

You're not leaving today until you beat me in the game.

Sure thing.

- Go! - Go!

Practice more if you want to play with me!

Show us the Hung Ga!

Thank you, sir!

I love you, Kumkum!

Kimmy, $80,000 monthly income. Three tycoons want to support her.

Gaga, $65,000 monthly income.

Cover girl of Playboy's last issue.

Kum, no one wants her.

$40,000 monthly income.

Nice!

Hairy Kit.

Take good care of him.

Hey, Mr. Gan?

Frankie, a real estate flatterer who rose in rank the fastest.

Hairy Kit, young accurate stock predictor.

Mr. Gan, an architect who cuts corners.

You are so drunk.

Gentlemen!

Mr. Chan, Mr. Hsu, you asked for sisters.

I've finally got you a twin!

Philip, you like it tall and skinny. Here's Mary!

Mr. Ho, you want someone barely legal?

Here comes Manman who just became legal.

For the rest, take a seat and entertain them.

Sit down, hurry.

Have you forgotten about me?

Handsome Mandel, how can I forget you?

I've saved the gem of the night for you, Kimmy.

- Kimmy! - Mandel!

I saw a three-carat diamond in the store the other day.

Buy it.

I discovered a three-carat gallstone in my body the other day.

Go get an operation.

Gentlemen, may I present to you

the joker of the night, Kum!

Kum, start your number!

Peter is filthy rich.

Drain him slow and dry, okay?

Why?

Just do it in one shot. Why waste time?

- Hey. What about my guy? - What?

Moan loudly. He likes screamers.

- Really? - Yes, try it.

Fatso.

Fatso!

Just like that, I moaned my way up.

I got my first big house

and my first king-size bed.

Kum works hard, Kum earns money.

Are you happy?

I'm happy! And you?

I'm so happy. Truly!

Flower Love Motel

Second floor cheap, clean, nice, just for renting

Auntie, do you still use this kind of old teapot?

I'm a teapot, short, and stout

You're becoming quite a pretty hooker.

Auntie, I'm not a hooker.

I'm a club hostess.

You're not a hooker?

Do you sleep with men and get paid?

Then you're a hooker.

But in being an unpretty hooker

you need to remember Three Obediences and Four Virtues.

I'm a teapot, short, and stout

Look. You haven't worked that long, but your voice has become so hoarse.

Of course. I scream and moan every night.

So my voice became hoarse.

Why are you screaming so hard?

- Use this part. - The dantian?

Try it.

It's natural and convincing.

Remember, don't make it the same each time.

Sometimes, it's fast. At times, it's slow.

Sometimes light, sometimes heavy.

At times, you should...

Watch me.

- Oh my god! Baby! - Oh my god! Baby!

What's going on?

You've got a hard-on!

Don't touch it! It'll spit on you.

How pathetic!

I moan a little and you get all hard.

You didn't have to moan so loudly when telling a story. You're crazy.

To be honest, you've been with so many men.

Aren't you afraid of getting diseases?

No, doctors can handle diseases.

It's something else that scares me.

What's that?

I'm pregnant.

- What? - What's your problem, Kum?

Are you kidding? You asked me to step on your back.

I was hoping you'd save me the cost of an abortion.

Forget it!

- Whose is it? - How would I know?

What now?

Do you know a good doctor?

Yes.

I know a very good doctor at HKSH.

I'll take you there tomorrow.

- Okay? - Sure.

It's your baby. Are you sure about this?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

You still haven't changed?

- What the heck? - Not yet.

- This is big trouble. - What's wrong?

Jacky Chan hurt his ligament. He might have to retire!

You're crazy!

You'd better take care of this quickly

or you'd be out of work soon.

The sky is so dark.

There's thunder too.

Hey! It's raining cats and dogs!

Look how heavy the rain is.

No.

What if you take off all your clothes and have a nap?

Leave the undies on...

Get up!

Let me practice my eyesight first.

- Am I accurate? - Can we go now?

Let's go! But it's time for work.

What?

It's already dark.

Let's go.

Do that again. I haven't tried that for a while.

The clinic is closing.

Are you coming or not?

No more dillydallying!

So, so itchy

Scratch, scratch, scratch

Apply Mopiko on it

Can I visit Auntie?

You're so exaggerated!

Auntie.

She's beautiful!

Not her! Yours is not this pretty.

- Gwen! - Yes.

She's nice too.

Auntie, I'm pregnant.

Didn't you use condoms?

I can't get rid of it.

What? Are you seeing the right kind of doctor?

It's not the doctor's problem!

It's scary, you know.

Every time I go out

it rains cats and dogs.

The moment I return upstairs, the sun comes out.

I go downstairs again and it rains again.

That always happens.

Maybe someone up there doesn't want me to do it.

Probably.

A gift from Goddess Guanyin.

Come here. Light incense and thank Goddess Guanyin.

This is Lord Guan.

Here.

Gods have their network up there. She'll get it.

Sorry, she got the wrong god.

Auntie, what do I do now?

Should I really keep it?

Do you expect Goddess Guanyin to raise him too?

What then?

You're the mother!

No, I have to work. He will hinder me.

Don't be so inflexible. Think out of the box.

When the mother is busy, the father takes care of him.

Get the baby a father.

Get someone to take the blame?

How?

You're complaining that it's hard without even trying.

You're the mother!

You're still here? There's still one customer, go.

Mr. Wu, this is Kumyue.

Hello, please sit down.

Enjoy.

- Thank you. - My pleasure.

I'm Richard.

Have a drink.

You're here so late.

I was planning to leave

but the waiter said it was pouring outside

so I stayed a bit longer.

Have a drink.

Thank you.

Cheers.

Are you okay?

I saw you standing there spaced out while listening to a song.

Is something bothering you?

Yes. I don't know why.

This song tugs at my heartstrings every time I hear it.

It's an English song. Do you understand the words?

Of course!

It says when the child is born

the world becomes meaningful and beautiful.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that.

I'm not articulated.

I'm really not good with words.

Sorry, my English is poor.

I'm going to sing the song's Chinese version.

I hope it'd be as beautiful and meaningful.

A ray of hope flickers in the sky

A shiny star lights up way up high

All across the land

Dawns a brand new morn

This comes to pass when a child is born

A silent wish sails the seven seas

The winds of change whisper in the trees

And the walls of doubt crumbled tossed and torn

This comes to pass when a child is born

Do you like it?

- It's great. But... - Thank you.

You're so tacky.

I run a garment factory in New York Chinatown.

- Of course I'm tacky. - Is that so?

I translated the lyrics on the fly.

I see, no wonder.

I'm not really articulate.

But I hope this song will cheer you up.

I am happy.

Really? Sing with me then.

No, I can't sing.

A ray of hope flickers in the sky

A shiny star lights up way up high

Enough.

- I'll drink it. - Okay.

Why are you so sweet? Why sing for me?

It's nothing.

We both like the song.

And it looks like we're destined to meet.

Why do you like it? Do you have a child?

No.

I wish I did.

Why? Children are so troublesome.

At least I wouldn't be wasting my time in clubs.

If I had a child

I'd do his homework with him and tell him bedtime stories.

On holidays, I'd take him out.

And we can watch the stars at night.

That'd be great.

You know about watching stars?

Just a little.

That one is Rigel at the foot of Orion.

It's over 770 light-years away from Earth.

It's the constellation's brightest star

so it's visible almost everywhere.

- Let me ask you. - Okay.

Do you know the name of that farthest star?

That one?

That one.

That's the Wench Star.

Starting tonight

let's call it the Wench Star, okay?

Sure.

If you want a kid that much

I can give you one.

Sounds good.

I'm serious.

I'm really serious.

Stop playing around.

I'm not.

Hey, here?

Why not?

No, people will see us.

Do you see anyone around?

Hey.

A ray of hope flickers in the sky

A shiny star lights up way up high

All across the land dawns a brand new morn

This comes to pass when a child is born

I'm pregnant.

You said I can bear you a child.

And you'll take care of him.

What about you?

I'm too busy with work.

You like kids.

Now, the Goddess Guanyin has given us one.

No need to make it complicated. Just make it simple.

If so, after the baby is born, I might take him to the States.

Great!

It's great to live and study in the States!

Great!

When we get there and he grows up

I'll give him everything I can

and make him a useful person.

Great.

Promise me one more thing.

Yes?

Don't let the child see me.

I'm used to doing that.

It's fine. Take it easy.

Dr. Cheung.

Have you known Richard for a long time?

Yes.

Is he married?

His wife died long ago.

And you?

Me? I do.

Any kids?

Me?

No, I mean Richard.

He has one now.

Dr. Cheung.

Can you promise me one thing?

After the baby is born, don't let me see him.

I'm afraid I might not be able to bear to part with him.

Don't say Mom doesn't love you.

Kids, excuse me.

What are you two playing? It's so boring.

Let me teach you something exciting.

- Whisky! Vodka! - Whisky! Vodka!

- Drink it up or go to hell! - Drink it up or go to hell!

- Whisky! Vodka! - Whisky! Vodka!

- Drink it up or go to hell! - Drink it up or go to hell!

- Whisky! - Whisky!

Look at your eyebrows. They're so nice.

You'll surely grow up looking like Andy Lau.

How are you doing? Are you full?

I'll make you more and more handsome.

Excuse me, can I have my son back?

It's time to feed him.

He can't go hungry at three days old.

Can I play with him a bit longer?

It has been more than an hour now.

Why don't you play with your own?

Thank you.

I've missed you.

That is really the worst decision I've made in my life.

But there was no going back.

I could only knock my head against the wall.

We're on our way to the airport.

Are you sure you don't want to see him?

Airport, please.

Okay.

This is so strange, miss.

A hailstorm in Hong Kong?

Are you okay? Are you all right?

What now?

Turn back.

What?

Turn back.

The Goddess Guanyin gave you a son. Forget him after giving him away.

Stop thinking about it.

Silly girl.

Have some kumquat juice, okay?

Drink it.

You'll feel better afterward.

It tastes good.

- Kumkum. - Welcome back!

Hey, her breasts have grown bigger! Look!

- Enough. No. - Her stomach became flat.

You're looking good!

The economy was great back then.

We tipped big time, even in the washroom.

$20 for a pee, $100 for a dump.

- Bye. - I once tipped $200

when I had diarrhoea.

But after the stock market crashed in 1987...

This is bad.

- Don't get upset. - Okay.

Has anyone seen Amy from Group C?

She emigrated last week.

She emigrated? Candy is fine too. Where is she?

An old guy is supporting her and they emigrated.

She quit.

She emigrated too? Are you emigrating too?

There were three phenomenal inventions in the '90s.

- The first was the mobile phone. - Hello?

The second one was karaoke.

And the third one that affected us the most

was the women from Northern China.

We called them "Northern Chicks."

Who wants her body to be randomly touched?

Who wants to kiss a thousand lips?

I'm willing!

- Hi, pretty girl. - Did you like my singing, sir?

I love it.

I can not only sing, but I'm also easy to get along with.

Is that so? How long have you been in Hong Kong?

Not too long.

So please forgive me if I offend you, sir.

Of course.

I've never been a hostess before.

I used to blow beer back home.

- What? - I've never tried that before.

Are you kidding me? How can you know that?

You guys are rich.

We blow houses

cars

- and planes. - Who is she? What an idiot.

I want to blow grapes

- watermelon, - That's right.

- and brandy. - That's fun.

We're all just trying to make a living.

Bad Cantonese, big chest

bad makeup and getup

works hard, and would do just about anything for money.

Those were the Northern Chicks' characteristics.

Happy birthday!

- Happy birthday. - Happy birthday.

- May you have customers nightly. - That's a good one.

- Seafood? - Maybe hot pot.

Stop organizing your stuff, let's eat. Hurry.

Be quick, we're waiting for you.

Coming.

Hey, Kumkum, get changed.

Why are you sticking your head in the locker?

Why are you crying?

Who bullied you?

Stop crying. Tell me who bullied you.

Tell me

and I'll beat him up!

You girls are bullying me.

We must all make a living. How can I blame you?

Hong Kong people are spoiled.

How can we compare to Northern Chicks?

I was already getting old, 29 years old.

I can't be a Madam since I'm not good at dealing with people.

It doesn't suit me.

So I went to work at a massage parlour.

I don't need to sleep with customers and drink.

I just need to use my hand.

- It was easy money. - People assume masseuses

make less money than hostesses.

That's wrong.

A hostess makes an average of $1,500 per outcall.

A maximum of two per night and 25 days per month.

$1,500 times two times 25 equals $75,000 per month.

A masseuse makes an average of $350 per handjob.

A maximum of ten handjobs a day

and 31 days a month.

$350 times ten times 31 equals $108,500 per month.

You still won't get up? What do we do with 01018?

Go take a look.

- You're still sitting here? - Fine.

Mr. K, you want Yakult? No problem.

Hey, Johnny. You want Yakult too, right?

Mr. Chan, black coffee? Okay, no problem.

Two large beers and one black coffee.

Little Dragon dude, what's going on?

I'm still in this Departure Area after 45 minutes.

There has been a delay.

I'll upgrade you to a first-class private room later, okay?

- Philip is here again. - What?

Keith, I have the Air Bust 747 for you today.

Is that true?

Don't trick me. Don't give me an old and ugly one again.

Why would I? We're a new airport.

Of course they're all young and big.

I want my in-flight meal later to be freezing and hot.

Ice-fire? Just come on time.

Hey.

- You want more pressure? - That's not the problem.

The problem is the proportion.

In a 90-minute massage session

you spend more than two-thirds of the time on my back.

In other words

only one-third of the session is left for other body parts.

Do you think that's enough?

Add another session then, sir.

I'm not a sir.

My surname is Chan. You can call me Professor Chan.

I teach Mathematics.

The sessions I order depend on my personal needs and choices.

But if it is the consequence of your mishandling

you have to bear my economic loss.

I got it. I'm sorry.

Take a pillow.

What are you up to?

You want me to work faster.

Will you work faster if you take off my trousers?

What kind of theory is that?

Lie down first. Don't act up.

I'll give you a handjob first.

Spank the monkey.

A handjob, spank the monkey, jerk off.

It is basically the same term

which is masturbation.

The meaning is satisfying your sexual needs yourself.

But why would I pay and engage someone else

to do what I can do myself?

That's really not economical.

It's so ridiculous.

Why are you so stressed this time?

If not, I wouldn't need you here.

I thought you had something to tell me.

Like what?

Well, you just came back from the States.

Maybe you've got some stories to tell.

The States? What is there to tell?

The States never change.

That's good.

I'm just asking because it has been raining a lot lately.

Done!

I've de-stressed you up here. What about down there?

I've known you for years

but I've never jerked you off.

This toy piano is so cute.

I want to give it to him.

Him?

Him.

He's going to be ten next month.

Please give it to him for me.

No rush though.

Just give it to him next time you visit.

It could be for his birthday next year.

It's really cute. It has a song.

You have to finish the antibiotics, okay?

Okay.

The nurse will give you the prescription.

Thank you.

I'll leave the box.

Please put it back in for me.

But no need to hurry.

Just bring it with you when you go next time.

Do you think he'd be a charmer if he played the piano?

Probably.

Bye.

Call me if you need to jerk off.

You've got a bad cold?

So can you do Room 47?

Sure, I'll go there.

How are you?

Sir, how should I address you?

Which bed do you prefer?

Gosh, I'm sorry.

I'm okay.

I'm sorry.

Are you okay? I'm sorry. Over here.

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

Please lie down first.

Oil rub.

Should I not go too hard?

Make it harder. That's fine.

Did I not do well?

I'm sorry.

Do you want another masseuse?

Hold still.

Relax.

Lie down.

Close your eyes.

Double Seven.

Double Seven.

Double Seven.

Ginseng tea for you.

What's up?

What happened?

Right, why are you sleeping here?

Where is my customer?

He ordered ginseng tea for you and left.

What are you doing? Feigning ignorance? Room 47.

Should I send him over to massage you? Room 47!

- Forty-seven? - Forty-seven!

Where's the Po Sum On Medicated Oil?

It's really you?

Do you know kung fu?

No.

Come and lie down first.

Thank you for last time.

You left so quickly.

You were gone when I woke up.

I'm sorry.

Let me compensate you this time.

Are you very tired again?

Have you fallen asleep?

How cold.

He's not breathing. Is he dead?

Dying at such a young age. How sad.

He can still laugh. I'm relieved.

How should I address you?

My surname is Yeh.

And me?

You haven't told me.

You didn't ask.

I won't tell you.

What do you think?

Does it feel good?

If you don't tell me, how would I know what to do?

Am I pushing the right buttons?

Why are you following me?

I'm just passing by.

I happened to run into you.

I didn't...

Hey!

I still don't know your name.

I told you. My surname is Yeh.

Your first name. Don't you have one?

Do you know my name?

Double Seven.

Kum.

Be fair then.

You know my name

but I don't know yours.

My surname is Yeh.

And your mobile phone number?

Nine.

They all start with nine.

Nine what?

Nine...

Four, eight.

Nine, four, eight, and?

Hey!

Kum, Room 47 for you.

Hey, how are you?

Want to try something new today?

New experiences can help with thoughts and analysis.

Of course I'm interested.

But it depends on its attractiveness and practicality.

Tell me about it.

Do you want a double-grip?

Hold it.

A person has two hands, four for two people.

And I have only one head down there.

So one hand takes care of him

and the other three are wasted.

That's not economical.

A person has two breasts, four for two people.

If you can have four breasts with two hands

doesn't that have a good ROI?

It's not just up to you to make an economic point.

It needs a lot of data to support it.

Professor Chan didn't go for a double-grip

after his calculations.

He figured only if he could have 12 breasts in two hands

can the ROI be high.

Are you having fun?

Wipe my sweat!

Oil!

Everyone, get ready.

Prepare the runway. Get ready for touchdown!

Happy now?

The operation was successful.

But the patient is dead.

Yeh would come once in a while.

His visits always made me happy.

When he left, he'd leave me another number.

What number is it this time?

Five.

Thank you, bye.

But after leaving six digits

he vanished.

Hi, Mr. Yeh?

Sun Fat Restaurant.

- Who are you looking for? - Mr. Yeh.

Wrong number.

Not this one.

Who's this?

This is Kum, Double Seven.

What's up?

It was just a wild guess.

Who knew I'd get it right?

Can I help you?

You haven't been here for a while.

I was wondering if you had time.

The weather has been very humid lately.

It's easy to feel tired.

Should I go to your place to give you a massage?

I'll come tomorrow.

You haven't been here for a long time.

Two and a half months.

What have you been up to?

Nothing.

Nothing?

You've got a new girl?

You don't need me now?

Come over here.

What's the matter?

Is something bothering you?

Tell me.

What's the matter?

Maybe I can help.

Lend me $150,000.

I'll pay you back.

Which organ is that? It hurts!

The stomach. You have a bad digestive system.

Of course. I don't get to eat very often.

I'm always hungry.

Now, this one is going to hurt. Endure it.

- No response? - What's that pressure point?

The kidney. Men your age usually have a bad reproductive system.

Of course I'm fine. I haven't used it for many years.

Really? That's why you get hard so easily.

Where's your wife?

- Gone. - Pardon?

She dumped me.

Why did she do that?

I'm a loser. I got laid off and couldn't find a job.

Then I kept using my credit cards.

I used one card to pay for the other one.

I couldn't keep up with the payments

so loan sharks are pouring paint at my place.

They even sent lunch boxes.

What kind of lunch boxes?

They're filled with feces, telling me to eat poop.

Everyone is giving themselves a hard time.

So you gave the money away so generously?

I didn't give it away. I lent it to him.

Has he paid you back?

He left me this card.

He said he'd deposit the money on the 15th.

When is that?

Seven years ago.

Seven years and you still believe him?

I believe him. What do you care?

So what? I'll try again.

Miss, there's no power and you're still pressing it?

What happened?

I'm so scared.

Calm down, this is already very troublesome.

You're doomed if a mistake is made.

Three robbers armed with AK47s took

nearly six million dollars worth of jewelry

from five jewelry stores in Kwun Tong.

During the exchange of fire

Five policemen and 12 bystanders were shot.

I know him!

Goodness, I really have nothing to do with this.

At this point, I'm afraid you might need to switch to another job.

Bad things always come in a row.

Auntie passed away that spring.

Highly esteemed by many

Her soups are very flavorful.

You can't find it anywhere.

She washed and mended my clothes whenever they had holes.

What am I going to do without her?

"The autumn wind blows sharply.

I don't dare to look at the garden.

"Leaves are falling like wounded birds

hit by unseen arrows."

Do we have this many relatives?

Silly girl, they were all your Auntie's former customers.

She was enormously popular when she was young.

No man could have escaped her charm.

They used to shed blood in fights over her.

She was incredible.

Memories are all that's left.

- Auntie is gone. - Yes.

But she still left us goodies.

What should we do then?

Shall we make use of it before going home?

- Sure. - Use it.

Bad things always come in a row.

Around that time, three people with the surname Tang left us.

One was Auntie, Lydia Tang

whose death broke many uncles' hearts.

The other one was Teresa Teng.

The third one was...

In the flag-raising ceremony at Tiananmen Square

the national flag was half-mast in memory

- the late Chairman Deng Xiaoping. - Deng Xiaoping.

At the Square, many Beijing citizens gathered to watch the ceremonies.

- Okay. Glasses. - Dragon!

I'm Kum. I'm here to see you.

You look good, Dragon.

You'll recover quickly.

Yes. Kum knows, right?

Kum got it.

Dragon says the soup is excellent today.

And he'd like to play a drinking game with you.

If you win, he let you win, right?

Great, let's do it now, come on.

Incredible! You're still so good!

Even your eyes can play! Great!

- You'll recover soon! - Time for your medicine.

Lucky guy. You get delicious soup every day.

I know what he said.

He said, "Why don't you lie down here and drink it?"

- Bimbo. - Bimbo.

You wench! How did this happen?

Isn't it a hassle to make soup daily?

It's such a big hassle.

But I've known him for so long.

I can't ignore him after knowing him for so long.

What can I do since that happened at my flat that night?

What did you do? Sleeping together caused the stroke?

You're crazy.

Since when did you get together?

- I don't remember. At... - Gosh.

At my age, I just want some company.

Talking to the TV by yourself is so boring.

Prince Charles, together with former Governor Chris Patten

and his family, arrived at the Tamar

after the Handover Ceremony.

Chris Pattern looked sad

while his two daughters couldn't resist weeping.

Britainnia left at 50 minutes past midnight

with Prince Charles, Chris Patten, and his wife

waving farewell on deck to the people on the shore.

Due to the interest rate increase

the local stock market index fell below 10,000 points twice today.

The second fall started in the afternoon

with a record fall of 1,871 points.

The Hang Seng Index closed at 10,426 points

dropping 1,211 points.

So it was the crash in 1997 that got you here.

1997 was bad, but not that bad.

It's the new millennium that got us all.

- Five, four, three, two, one! - Five, four, three, two, one!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

We are in a new time, a new millennium!

On the issue of PCCW's negative equity

CEO Richard Li claims that it's purely a matter of bookkeeping.

You large shareholders have made hundreds of millions

but small shareholders like us have lost our life savings.

Tell me what kind of logic this is.

Facing the accusation of PCCW's overpaid managers

CEO Richard Li says...

Well, these talents... Well...

You. Speak when you know what to say.

I've lost everything!

Give me my money back or I'll call the cops!

Don't pull me! I have a lot to vent!

Give me back...

Mr. Bailiff.

The bed means a whole lot to me. Do you understand?

Sign here and you can go.

No, that bed is really important.

My first time was on that bed.

I eat on that bed. I was on that bed earlier too.

I'm happy with my bed.

Are you happy?

I'm really happy with my bed.

Do you understand?

Look at me!

The bed is happiness to me!

After 2000, Hong Kong was struck by three unprecedented disasters.

First, the negative equity.

Second, the upsurge of bankruptcy.

Are you happy now?

I'm really begging you!

Hey, we can't do it.

Hey, miss.

What?

There's really no way to get this bed through.

- What should we do then? - You tell me.

And the third is related to chickens.

The AFC spokesman confirmed today

that the chicken slaughter is nearing its completion.

Officials claimed

that all chicken bodies had been disposed of

but dead chickens were still spotted being exposed to flies.

I'm really doomed this time.

I'm glad I didn't eat that chicken.

Or else, I'd be a chicken-flu chicken.

Don't go.

We're just in debt.

It's not the end of the world.

We can surpass this together.

- Please don't go! - Don't be scared.

It's just a nightmare. Don't be scared.

You should have a sip.

Have a sip.

Don't think too much.

I ran into a friend recently.

He gave me some words of wisdom.

He said that we shouldn't mention the past.

It's like crap that's flushed down the toilet.

- Is this Labor Department's line? - Right.

So many people lining up for one job.

I don't know what the Labor Department is doing.

Ma'am, you said I'd be in 30th place

for $30.

Right, the 30th from the end.

You're spreading incorrect info.

We won't get or ROI.

You're increasing the price this way...

At least give a few dollars back.

Hey, get in line! Don't...

Professor Chan.

Double Seven?

How are you?

Good. You?

Me? Fine, of course I'm fine.

That's great.

The line is too long. Forget it.

Let's go for some tea.

In this social environment

having tea goes against the principles of economics.

You know, even a cup of coffee now is...

My treat.

Okay.

Let's go.

But regarding the cab fare...

- It's your treat too. - Okay.

What's with the grin?

No, I'm just thinking about your hand skills.

What hand skills, Professor?

That. That one.

Double-grip, quadruple-grip, or octuple-grip?

With hands like yours

a single-grip is enough for me to remember.

Want to try again?

I'm good.

It's better to have it in my memory.

That's more economical.

Who says I'm charging you?

You can use your mileage points.

Mileage points? Nothing comes for free.

Will it affect the quality?

What do you think?

When the economy is so bad

we need...

to stimulate the market with revolutionary actions

to save the market.

You get a freebie too, Professor Chan.

What freebie?

Are you leaving?

Yes.

Here.

I get paid?

That was worth more than $300, Professor Chan.

You're so stingy.

I'm stingy?

Do you have any idea how seriously people take money these days?

$300 can go a long way.

Right, I just went a long, long way.

I kissed you and called your name twice.

I acted as if I was your girlfriend.

But before I came, I screamed Double Seven twice.

Give me $100 back.

I acted as if I was your boyfriend.

Back in my prime

I'd get a few grand without sleeping with anyone.

Why are you complaining now?

You're talking about the past?

In the past, I got a full salary for half the effort.

I was called Professor Chan then.

Now, no one even calls me Teacher Chan.

The past is like crap that's flushed down the toilet.

We can't reap without sowing.

We can work harder to earn more.

Ever heard of this one?

"Work is hard, but it's better than being jobless."

Wake up, Double Seven.

What happens after waking up?

Start working after waking up.

What can I do?

Do what you're best at.

What are you best at?

I'm best at...

You're happy, right?

In that case

I think it's really not economical for one person

to live in such a big flat.

Make it a home office.

You have two rooms.

One room for yourself, one for business.

What business? Selling pineapple buns?

Selling yourself.

Have a One-Chicken-Brothel.

Be your own boss, go self-employed.

In the end, depend only on yourself.

I wish to live like I've won the lottery

I don't have to do anything and my boss can't scold me

Just wait for my paycheck with nothing to worry about

That's it, no need to do zip anyway

I wish to live like I've won the lottery

I don't have to do anything and my boss can't scold me

Just wait for my paycheck with nothing to worry about

- That's it, no need to do zip - What's up, ma'am?

Speak up!

I want to post an advertisement.

Post an advertisement?

What are you selling?

The columnist will sample it tomorrow.

Then we'll do a business report for you.

Want to open a chat room too?

It's good to chat with horny jerks.

Don't worry, they'll go to you.

Hi, I'm introducing another private dish today.

It's called Ginger and Scallion Chicken.

Grand opening, fresh girl

Hey, you!

What are you doing, lighting a firecracker?

- So what? - You'll get fined!

- Don't do it. - Don't point your finger at me!

You can't stop me.

I have my lovely flabs

I have my pretty flabs

Nobody comes after seven days

What the heck?

Come on, sir!

This is the doorway to heaven. You won't forget this!

Come on in, sir!

$37.50.

Come in or I'm not paying.

Pay or I'll beat you up.

Beat me up? Please me instead.

$37.50!

Hey, give me the 50-cent change.

God.

God, please help me.

So boring, I'm dying.

Miss, does this shirt come in other colours?

It's all here. If you don't see it, then it doesn't.

These days, this kind of service attitude isn't enough.

Right. Why should I buy from you, wench?

To make your customers happy and your boss worry-free

we must serve with the friendliest, most sincere

and professional attitude.

But I have no customers, how can I serve them?

Andy, you don't understand.

You're a star, an awardee of Ten Outstanding Youth

and you're rich.

Sometimes, do you ever put yourself in their position?

If you were a customer

would you want to be served by you?

Why?

Because I'm old and pathetic.

Of course not.

Excuse me.

Let me get out and talk to you.

The problem is that you're not sincere enough.

This is the doorway to heaven. You won't forget this, sir!

That's a perfect imitation, Andy! You're a great impersonator!

You're screwed!

There is no heart.

These days, this kind of service attitude isn't enough.

You can't get customers this way.

Great oaks from little acorns grow.

Let's start with the foundation.

Moan for me.

Come on.

Do you need some Panadol?

Relax.

Andy.

Be more involved.

More emotions.

Be coyer!

Be steamier!

Come on.

More eruptive!

More!

- This is the doorway to heaven. - Good, come on.

- Are you there yet? - Very good!

Great!

Now that we're enjoying it so much

let's move to the advanced level, okay?

We'll do "Face-Off."

Hey, no more moaning?

If I'm not Andy, you won't moan anymore?

You won't get good clients like Andy now.

Moan for anybody as if you're moaning for me.

Otherwise, you won't get a chance to moan anymore.

Look at me!

Be more involved. More emotions.

Come on.

More, come on.

Very good!

Moan your heart out for all races!

For Indians, moan with an Indian touch.

A curry touch.

Curry chicken...

Curry chicken...

- Curry... - Good. That's it.

Don't ever give up.

Moan with your heart

and you'll be more involved.

Then there will be emotions.

Then you'll orgasm.

An orgasm will make you happy.

Then your customers will be happy too.

As word of mouth spreads

all the horny guys in Hong Kong will come for you.

Then you will really become

a golden chicken.

Keep at it.

Remember.

Work hard and you'll surely earn money.

Andy.

There are happy moments in life

Sad moments are also often unavoidable

We're all destined to meet...

Dear fellow citizens.

Hong Kong is now facing unprecedented hardship.

Nowadays, everyone goes north for entertainment.

If we want to keep the customers in Hong Kong

we need to imitate the Northern Chicks.

This is a serious challenge for all of you.

Okay, follow me.

Sir!

- Sir! - Sir!

Do you want ice-fire?

- Do you want ice-fire? - Do you want ice-fire?

Personally

it's also a serious challenge.

Thanks, Uncle Sam!

- Come again! - I will!

It's not your turn yet.

- I've been waiting forever, Kum. - I'll be right with you!

- I've waited over an hour! - It'll be your turn soon.

This is my head.

This is my breast.

Size 36-D.

Come again next time.

- Thank you. - My pleasure.

- Your charity will be rewarded. - Okay.

He's so sweet.

Okay, good boy. Come again next time.

I'll give you candies next time.

Bye!

Together we can battle hardships

To make Hong Kong an everlasting glory

Together we can battle hardships

To make Hong Kong an everlasting glory

Why didn't you get checked for a while?

I didn't come for a checkup since I was fine.

Do you think you're really fine?

Am I not fine?

You are fine.

You scared me to death.

Tell me something about the States.

Again?

What?

Richard.

He's gone.

At least he had a son to bury him.

Not by blood though.

What do you mean?

I was his family doctor.

Richard was a really good man.

But he was sterile.

What's the matter?

I need to crap.

I'll show you the toilet.

It's fine.

Let me think.

Where's the son?

He's very independent.

He's already 18. Don't worry.

What happened next?

I left the clinic, had a bowl of noodles

passed by this ATM booth on the way home

and got robbed by you.

That's it? Keep talking, would you?

Life is long. How can I finish all the stories?

It's dawn.

Crap.

Once daylight comes, many lunchboxes are waiting for me at home.

I hope the power won't ever be restored and the door won't open.

December 14. Saturday.

Let's go.

The door won't open even if the power's back.

Pull.

Where are you heading?

To die.

Hey, hang in there!

If I survive, where can I find you?

Across the street, flat 7D.

Hey, what's your name?

My name is Bon.

Call me by my English name, James Bon.

My Chinese name is Wan Yanbon.

Hey, put in a lot of effort earning a living.

Then come and give me some business.

Wan Yanbon.

Sunday

December 15

Why is it twelve o'clock now?

There was a power outage.

So today is the 15th, not yesterday.

Processing. Please wait..

Account balance: $948,511.42 Available balance: $948,511.42

94851142?

What number is this?

It's his mobile number!

I knew he would pay me back!

Bon! Wan Yanbon! James Bon!

How can there not be good and bad times?

How many years have gone by?

Missed out on what I'm searching for

Got what I cherish not

Did I get it?

No way to explain gain and loss

I change based on what I see or hear

No idea what to explore

What do we want in life?

Always deciding between letting go or hanging on

After using up all the time in my life

I still can't figure it out

What do we want in life?

Can't see clearly when confused

I didn't expect that I have missed out

Is all I have got

How can there not be good and bad times?

How many years have gone by?

Missed out on what I'm searching for

Got what I cherish not

Did I get it?

No way to explain gain and loss

I change based on what I see or hear

No idea what to explore

Yeh Chikeung

Hey! Why are you sitting here?

What's up? Why are you here?

I've chased you for nine streets!

I'm rich!

What?

You've found help.

Who?

I got nearly a million back.

I told you he would pay me back!

He did?

I can help you. I can really help!

I don't need that much.

Translator: IYUNO