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00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:06,132
Memphis Stormfront in the
Channel 3 News copter
2
00:00:06,132 --> 00:00:10,511
{\an8}with something still exclusive
to live TV. A police chase!
3
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:13,180
{\an8}And if you're watching this
on YouTube years later,
4
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:15,516
{\an8}smash that like button, bruh!
5
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,309
Dad, that looks like your SUV!
6
00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:19,145
It can't be.
Mine's in the shop.
7
00:00:19,145 --> 00:00:22,189
It's making a weird sound,
kind of like...
8
00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:27,445
{\an8}A lot of smoke, and that...can't be good.
9
00:00:27,445 --> 00:00:30,531
{\an8}- Oh, he's getting out.
He's making a run for it!
10
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,616
That's Wendell!
My mechanic!
11
00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:34,493
{\an8}The police are closing in.
12
00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:36,912
{\an8}Wait, he's carjacking
that Bugatti!
13
00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:40,541
{\an8}- He is gone, gone, gone.
14
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,252
Two things. We might need
to look for a new mechanic,
15
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,212
and I definitely
need to get a Bugatti.
16
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,673
But, honey, you love your SUV.
17
00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:49,341
Well, everyone's
getting Bugattis.
18
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:50,885
Even my friend
Wendell has one!
19
00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:52,511
A sports car!
20
00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:56,223
Wow, what would
the kids at school say
if we had a Bugatti?
21
00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:05,649
Hey, ladies. Need a ride?
There's room on my mom's lap.
22
00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:11,530
Hell yeah.
23
00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:19,580
Hey, boys. Need a ride?
24
00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:23,876
Hell yeah.
25
00:01:29,507 --> 00:01:30,508
Hell yeah.
26
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,555
That settles it.
The Smiths are
getting a Bugatti!
27
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:39,350
Francine, Hayley,
we're running behind,
so hurry up and get your
28
00:01:39,350 --> 00:01:40,476
fantasies in before the--
29
00:01:43,521 --> 00:01:46,190
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
30
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:49,568
♪ I got a feeling
That it's gonna be
A wonderful day ♪
31
00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:52,696
♪ The sun in the sky
Has a smile on his face ♪
32
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:56,492
♪ And he's shining a salute
To the American race ♪
33
00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:02,414
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
34
00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:04,750
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
35
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:05,835
Ah!
36
00:02:07,253 --> 00:02:10,548
{\an8}♪ Good morning, USA ♪
37
00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:15,344
{\an8}I've been kicked out of
car dealerships before,
38
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,887
{\an8}but never for
financial reasons.
39
00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:20,516
{\an8}Bugattis are like
a million dollars.
We're fine with the SUV.
40
00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:22,810
{\an8}We can barely even
afford to fix that.
41
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,812
{\an8}Where is all our money going
these days?
42
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:27,690
{\an8}Okay, I was gonna be
Baby Plumber Junior today,
43
00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:31,360
{\an8}but after hearing
your money woes,
I think it's a day for...
44
00:02:32,695 --> 00:02:35,447
{\an8}Suzy Orwoman,
financial advisoress!
45
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,783
{\an8}Want to know why
you can't afford that Bugatti?
46
00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:39,743
{\an8}You're not making
your assets work for you!
47
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,787
{\an8}Intriguing. Go on,
Mrs. Orwoman.
48
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:44,623
{\an8}That's Miss Orwoman.
Still haven't found
the right lady
49
00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:46,125
{\an8}to make an honest woman
out of me.
50
00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:48,711
{\an8}I'm a lesbian,
so stop flirting with me.
51
00:02:48,711 --> 00:02:51,171
{\an8}Okay, let's take inventory
of your assets.
52
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,716
{\an8}Well, I've got this fridge
and the garage fridge.
53
00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:56,010
{\an8}No, no, no,
not material stuff.
54
00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:58,012
{\an8}I'm talking these assets.
55
00:02:58,012 --> 00:03:00,973
{\an8}What are these little
flesh and bone piggy banks
doing for you?
56
00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:02,892
{\an8}Steve. Contributions. Go!
57
00:03:02,892 --> 00:03:06,520
{\an8}Easy! You know those couple
hundred sketches of Toshi
I did last summer?
58
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,688
{\an8}Yes!
59
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:10,524
{\an8}Well, they're on sale
on my Etsee page,
60
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:14,028
{\an8}and let's just say
there's a lot of buzz.
61
00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:15,529
{\an8}Speaking of buzzed... Hayley?
62
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,032
{\an8}I keep our food budget down
with restaurant leftovers,
63
00:03:18,032 --> 00:03:21,493
{\an8}like the Hub's all-you-can-
eat-but-you-should-have-
eaten-it-yesterday tuna salad.
64
00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:24,288
{\an8}If we're talking budgets,
that's my department.
65
00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:29,001
{\an8}I keep our books
like I keep my man.
Sexually satisfied.
66
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:32,338
{\an8}Okay, okay,
assets lookin' good so far.
67
00:03:32,338 --> 00:03:34,423
{\an8}But what about Fleshbeard?
68
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,301
{\an8}- Me?
- Mooch alert!
69
00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:38,886
{\an8}Jeff is not a mooch.
70
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:42,348
{\an8}- Well, he doesn't
bring anything in...
- And he takes a lot out.
71
00:03:42,348 --> 00:03:43,599
{\an8}Hey, that's right.
72
00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,643
{\an8}He even mooched off
my Bugatti fantasy.
73
00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:49,730
{\an8}Lay off!
What Jeff lacks in income,
he makes up for in heart.
74
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:54,610
Please. Financially,
there's no monetary value
to heart. Hit it, Klaus!
75
00:03:57,947 --> 00:04:02,201
♪ Let me tell you 'bout
Jeffrey the Moocher ♪
76
00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:05,079
♪ He's a grabbin' and takin'
and no money-makin'♪
77
00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:07,915
♪ Low-down coohie hoocher!♪
78
00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:11,126
Ha, ha, ha!
79
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:18,425
♪ He'll borrow your car,
bro, and bring it back
with a dent ♪
80
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:23,263
♪ He'll have a bunch of your
Cap'n Crunch and never
offer you a cent ♪
81
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,141
♪ Ho-de-ho-ho-de-ho!♪
82
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:35,567
This trombone
tastes like shit.
83
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,987
Ah, this is
the heavily-used plunger
84
00:04:37,987 --> 00:04:39,655
from my plumber costume.
85
00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:43,575
Face it, Smiths. When it
comes to your finances,
Jeff's worthless.
86
00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:47,329
Jeff, why are you
dancing around to a song
about you being a mooch?
87
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,123
That song
was about me?
88
00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:57,339
Babe? You ever get the feeling
the family thinks I'm a mooch?
89
00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:59,341
Well, yeah.
Klaus sang a whole song--
90
00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:01,135
Never mind.
Don't listen to them.
91
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:02,469
Yoink!
92
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:05,055
Your nightlight is costing us
ten cents a month.
93
00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:08,017
Ten cents
I'll never see again.
Thanks to you, Jeff.
94
00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:10,060
But I'm scared
of the boogeyman!
95
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,312
Here. There's one
starter bullet in there.
96
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,065
You can earn the rest
by really making
that one count.
97
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,861
I think I need to get a job.
98
00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:22,364
Well, whatever it is,
just don't go overboard
with it.
99
00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,657
Start with something simple.
100
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:25,909
Okay.
101
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:29,163
Big ball on a chain.
102
00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:30,789
Nothing simpler than that.
103
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,796
Oh, shoot. I missed.
104
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,882
Well, at least
no one got hurt--
105
00:05:43,594 --> 00:05:45,137
A construction accident?
106
00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:46,889
He doesn't have
health insurance yet.
107
00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:49,975
Here, Doc.
Take my wallet to the ER,
it's hemorrhaging.
108
00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:54,229
Thanks, but seriously,
how much was
his ambulance ride?
109
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:56,523
You don't have to worry
about that.
110
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:59,193
He came by wrecking ball.
111
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,361
This isn't funny.
He's my husband!
112
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:04,406
Sorry, I think that pipe
is laughing gas.
113
00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:07,618
So that's going to make
the bad news I have
very awkward.
114
00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:10,621
Jeff's...
brain dead!
115
00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:11,747
Brain dead?
116
00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:14,625
And on...
life support.
117
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,585
Life support?
118
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:21,006
I have to see him
one last time!
119
00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:32,851
Look at that,
the meter is already running.
120
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,019
That's a heart monitor.
121
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:36,438
- Turn it off!
- Almost no brain activity.
122
00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:37,940
Yet he's still functional.
123
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:40,692
- Oh, this is totally
normal for him.
124
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:42,861
Did someone say,
125
00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:44,738
-"I promise not to sue"?
- Who are you?
126
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:47,741
I'm a settlement lawyer on
behalf of Termite Demolitions.
127
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,285
- Are you the victim?
- No, I'm the Jeff.
128
00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:51,411
Whoa!
129
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,914
Clearly, some major
brain damage here.
130
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:57,042
That's going to take
some extra zeros.
131
00:06:57,042 --> 00:07:00,546
Let's call this a healthy
shut-the-hell-up settlement.
132
00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:03,173
Keep Termite's name
out of your mouth.
133
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:05,759
Holy...
134
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,511
Hey, you're rich!
135
00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:08,846
Nope, still Jeff!
136
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,644
- Jeffy boy!
- Boogeyman!
137
00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:17,396
Nope, just Boogeystan.
138
00:07:17,396 --> 00:07:19,857
And don't you worry
about your nightlight.
I'll get that for you.
139
00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:22,693
It just needs to be unsmashed
with my unhammer.
140
00:07:22,693 --> 00:07:24,653
Anything else you need?
More pillows?
141
00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:28,198
We want our El Jeff-ay
nice and comfy.
142
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:29,867
We've been calling you
El Jeff-ay.
143
00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:33,579
I picked you up a box
of condoms, El Jeff-ay.
Just in case.
144
00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:35,038
{\an8}I poked holes in all of them.
145
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:37,332
{\an8}The next step is to get him
to impregnate one of us.
146
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,084
{\an8}Then we've got him
locked down.
147
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:40,711
{\an8}I'm not picky about who.
148
00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,421
Let me rap at you, El Jeff-ay.
149
00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:45,632
Now that you're a millionaire
many, many, many times over,
150
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:48,468
we thought you could
help us get some
important things we need.
151
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,803
Like a Bugatti.
152
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:53,140
Yes, Jeff. Stan's car
is still in the shop so...
153
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,433
I'm gonna need one too.
154
00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:56,810
And as you know,
Toshi and I have been working
155
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,354
on our Siegfried and Roy
tribute show.
156
00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:01,899
I feel a white tiger
is a necessary next step.
157
00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:03,525
Get outta here, you vultures!
158
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:04,610
It's Hayley. Split!
159
00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:09,364
Jeff, do not start
buying them stuff.
160
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,212
The boogeyman?
161
00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:26,215
Yes! You get it!
And we'll get our own place.
162
00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:29,801
Wow. I never really thought
about that before.
163
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:31,678
But actually,
the boogeyman is an entity
164
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,805
that transcends
physical space,
165
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:35,599
so there's really
no escaping him.
166
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:42,856
Lobster, El Jeff-ay?
167
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,942
Francine's already cracked
the claws on this one.
168
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:47,319
And how soon are we getting
all the stuff we asked for?
169
00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:48,403
It's Hayley! Split!
170
00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:50,822
Jeff, where were you?
171
00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:52,991
I was waiting at
the open house for an hour.
172
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:56,536
I'm sorry, babe. But I wanna
tell everyone our new plan
173
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,790
and let them know
why I won't be
buying them Goobotties.
174
00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:00,916
Open house?
175
00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:02,334
- New plan?
- Goobotties.
176
00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:03,794
Klaus!
177
00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:06,255
Babe, you're gonna be
so proud of me.
178
00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:08,257
I ingested the money wisely!
179
00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:10,717
You know the movie
We Bought a Zoo?
180
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,553
Please tell me
you did not buy a zoo.
181
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,097
I didn't!
182
00:09:15,097 --> 00:09:17,057
I got the exclusive Redbox
183
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,768
streaming rights to the movie
We Bought a Zoo.
184
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:20,852
Ah, [bleep].
185
00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:23,438
There's more! Check this out.
186
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:26,441
It's new underwear
that hides your fart sounds.
187
00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:27,526
Listen.
188
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,446
Ugh. What's that smell?
189
00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:34,992
Yeah, they smell
way worse now.
But we're working on it.
190
00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:37,577
I bought the company
for a cool million.
191
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,662
- What!
- What!
192
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:39,913
Well, I've heard enough.
193
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,498
And smelled enough.
194
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:44,293
I think it's time
to let you in on
one of Suzy Orwoman's
195
00:09:44,293 --> 00:09:46,003
once-in-a-lifetime deals.
196
00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:48,255
These only come along
every couple months.
197
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:52,301
Feast your eyes on Mount
Suzymore! Our casino, Jeff!
198
00:09:52,301 --> 00:09:54,970
You see, it's been my dream
to teach my methods
199
00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:57,055
through the responsible
tradition of gambling.
200
00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:59,766
With your money,
we can make my dream
come true.
201
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:00,892
No, no, no, no, no!
202
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,192
That was me. I invested
in a competing underwear.
203
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:14,698
It's not fair. All these years
of Jeff taking from us,
204
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,700
and now he can finally
give back and he won't.
205
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:19,453
Well, he did get us Shakira.
206
00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:22,039
She sucks! She has one paw
in the grave.
207
00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:25,917
At this rate,
Jeff's gonna lose
all that money in days.
208
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,127
Days.
209
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,796
- Days...
210
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:34,843
Oh, I forgot to mention,
Jeff also got us this robot
that looks just like me.
211
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:37,012
I'll put her away, for now.
212
00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:42,809
Hi, Steve.
Did a gross old biddy
make her way over here?
213
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,145
If she does, that's my mother,
so please send her home.
214
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,314
I didn't know your mother
was living with you.
215
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:50,067
I just moved her in. The court
named me as her conservator,
216
00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:52,527
so I'm managing
all her affairs
and finances now.
217
00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:53,779
- Oh!
218
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:56,448
Someone found her!
I'm so "relieved."
219
00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,285
Huh. A conservatorship.
220
00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:04,790
That's not... I mean,
that's not something we
could do with Jeff, is it?
221
00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:07,334
No, no, we can't do that.
222
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,169
But could we?
223
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:12,339
Well, it's an
interesting word, isn't it?
224
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:15,300
"Conserve." Like saving.
225
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:18,220
Yeah, saving Jeff!
226
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:21,556
- Saving Jeff from Jeff!
- And who better to save him
227
00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:24,309
than the people
who know him and how much
money he has best!
228
00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:26,019
I don't believe this!
229
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:29,064
You're actually talking
about taking away
Jeff's independence?
230
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,941
We can't leave Jeff
in charge of the money.
231
00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,442
He's gonna piss it all away.
232
00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,986
And let's face it, he's never
had good bladder control.
233
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:37,114
I am not gonna
let you do this.
234
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:40,325
Well, I guess we'll have to
settle this in court then.
235
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,578
The basketball court?
236
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,374
Dang.
237
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:50,544
Listen, Jeff,
I'll do all the talking.
You just sit there.
238
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:51,962
Here, work on this.
239
00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,422
Court is now
in session.
240
00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:55,632
Honorable Judge Grenier
presiding.
241
00:11:55,632 --> 00:12:00,303
Oh! Hopefully we have
something sexy today, like
a murder or a kidnapping.
242
00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:03,473
A conservatorship hearing?
243
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:07,561
Oh, man, I wish
someone would murder
or kidnap me right now.
244
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:10,397
To see if a person meets the
legal standard for stupidity,
245
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:14,443
I mean mental incompetency,
we use what we call
the Gilligan Scale.
246
00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:18,238
{\an8}At first, I thought
Jeff Fischer was more of a
Rose from the Golden Girls.
247
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,866
{\an8}But after further examination,
I can confidently say
248
00:12:20,866 --> 00:12:23,160
{\an8}he and Gilligan
are a perfect match.
249
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,872
Objection!
That scale is absurd!
250
00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:28,165
Knock knock!
251
00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:29,332
Who's there?
252
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:30,876
- O.
-"O" who?
253
00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:32,627
"O"-verruled!
254
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:39,342
I have here a sworn
affidavit from a pillar
of our community.
255
00:12:57,861 --> 00:12:59,738
This is getting good.
256
00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:03,408
Your Honor, my family
is not concerned with
Jeff's wellbeing at all.
257
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:04,868
They just want his money.
258
00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:07,412
They are the last people
who should be caring for him.
259
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:11,875
My dad once asked a homeless
man to babysit me while
he went go-kart riding.
260
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:15,462
My mom was kicked out of
Lollapalooza for being
too naked.
261
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:19,466
And my brother Steve,
well, his Etsee reviews
speak for themselves.
262
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:20,884
One star.
263
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:23,303
The buyers thought
Toshi was Tilda Swinton.
264
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:27,224
And furthermore,
they live with a fish
who was at January 6th!
265
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,978
I was just going to see
the pandas at the zoo
and got all turned around!
266
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:34,105
- Order! I've heard enough!
267
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:35,732
But I want to take the stand!
268
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:39,277
- Not a good idea, babe.
- No, it's a great idea.
269
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:42,405
- Whoa!
- If he lands on his head,
270
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,741
- I grant conservatorship.
271
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:48,036
- Conservatorship granted!
- No!
272
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:50,539
- But not to the greedy family.
- Oh, thank God!
273
00:13:50,539 --> 00:13:53,833
And not to you either.
You thought this was
a basketball court!
274
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,753
There's only one person
that's right for this job.
275
00:13:56,753 --> 00:14:00,632
And she happens to be
my AA sponsor and
my financial advisor.
276
00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:03,051
Hey! Damn it,
the door's stuck!
277
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:05,262
Open this door! I'm missing my
big entrance moment--
278
00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:06,721
- Aah!
279
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:11,643
What's happening?
280
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:13,478
Don't worry.
I'm going to take
great care of you
281
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:17,023
and all your gorgeous gobs
and gobs of money. Come on!
282
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,900
No, I don't want to!
283
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,695
- What about babe?
- I'm your babe now.
284
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,154
Damn it,
285
00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:25,949
how is this thing stuck again?
From the inside?
286
00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:27,909
Where does it even lock from--
287
00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:30,287
Oh, Jeff, you opened it.
You're a genius.
288
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:37,544
Hey, babe.
289
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,921
- Right on time, Hayley.
- This has got to stop.
290
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,923
You can't keep Jeff
prisoner like this.
291
00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:44,467
Prisoner? Please.
Look at his view!
292
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:48,346
It's a casino
prison penthouse,
just like Britney Spears.
293
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:50,932
- This is nothing like that!
294
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,018
Although I do
have him performing
295
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,520
in a song-and-dance revue
in the casino theater.
296
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,355
Look at him, he's miserable.
297
00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:58,857
It's just a tummy ache.
298
00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:01,276
He won't stop eating
the glitter bombs
from the show.
299
00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:05,071
Plus, he's anxious to start
this conjugal visit
you demanded. Chop-chop!
300
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:06,740
Can we please have
a little privacy?
301
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:08,116
Oh, of course. Sorry. Sorry.
302
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,367
Hey, goons! Get out!
303
00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:14,539
Whenever you're ready.
304
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:22,297
Well, the SUV's back.
Cost me our monthly nut
to fix it.
305
00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:25,342
Looks like Shakira's funeral
will have to wait until
we can save up.
306
00:15:25,342 --> 00:15:27,469
Ugh, I feel awful.
307
00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:30,680
Of course you do.
We were this close
to the sweet life!
308
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,641
No, it's not that.
309
00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:35,894
Could it be that maybe we feel
bad about what we did to Jeff?
310
00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:37,896
- Yeah.
- No. I mean, maybe?
311
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:40,065
It's Hayley, split!
Uh, sorry, reflex.
312
00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:41,232
How's Jeff?
313
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:43,068
Stop acting like you care.
314
00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:45,904
It's your fault Jeff
got taken away from me.
315
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:49,449
Oh, Hayley, we're so sorry.
316
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,825
We didn't want this.
317
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:52,702
We just wanted
lots of new stuff.
318
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:55,705
We want to make this right
and bring Jeff home.
319
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,667
Well, there is something
you can help with.
320
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,963
♪ You shake my nerves
and you rattle my brain ♪
321
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,674
♪ Too much love
drives a man...♪
322
00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:07,550
No, no. Stop!
Stop the music, Jeff.
323
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:08,885
It's all wrong.
324
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,637
Whoa, those things
are dangerous.
325
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:13,348
Hold the balls,
hold the flaming balls.
326
00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:16,017
Jeff, opening night tickets
are about to go on sale,
327
00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:18,978
so I need passion
in those eyes,
and all I'm getting is fear.
328
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,647
{\an8}It's so off-putting.
329
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:23,066
{\an8}- Hold on a second.
Go for Suzy.
330
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:24,943
Can I go home today?
331
00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:27,445
Protesters chanting
"Free Jeff"?
332
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,114
That could be very misleading.
333
00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:31,991
Tickets to see Jeff
start at $27.
334
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,493
Goons, with me!
335
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,870
And don't let me catch you
eating any more glitter bombs.
336
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:42,043
Even better on the way up.
337
00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:45,922
Free Jeff!
Free Jeff! Free Jeff!
338
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:48,591
You guys
better get outta here,
or at least buy tickets.
339
00:17:10,572 --> 00:17:12,115
Are you friggin' kidding me?
340
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:13,825
Hold on,
I'mma get it this time.
341
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:16,286
Don't you try and help me,
Frankie. Don't you dare!
342
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,997
Jeff! Come with me, hurry!
343
00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:21,416
There's a loophole to get you
out of the conservatorship.
344
00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,710
But we've gotta get you
across state lines to do it.
345
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:24,794
Huh.
346
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:27,797
A whole new life
in West Vagina.
347
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,549
Exactly. Let's go.
348
00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:32,635
Let's roll!
349
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,726
Jeff, this is all your fault!
350
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,978
If you'd only bought me
that car I asked for--
351
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:43,480
Dad! Are you serious?
352
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,607
- Look!
353
00:17:45,607 --> 00:17:46,941
It's a Goobotti!
354
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:49,068
I've never seen one
this close.
355
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,529
It's... it's gorgeous.
356
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,789
Okay, I'm just gonna say what
everyone's thinking.
357
00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:01,998
Jeff owes us.
358
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,249
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
359
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,418
♪ Let me tell you 'bout...♪
360
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,795
No, Klaus!
361
00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:08,129
We gotta get Jeff out of here.
362
00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:09,923
I'm not so sure about that.
363
00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:12,675
I've got those
conservator forms somewhere.
364
00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:14,010
This is extortion.
365
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:15,637
- This is-- Jeff?
366
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,517
Whoa!
367
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,604
Oh, God!
368
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:27,941
It was beautiful
but it stings so bad!
369
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,820
Keep going, Jeff!
I'll fight 'em off!
370
00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:41,663
Like my reviews on Etsee say,
"Bad. Very bad!"
371
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:54,008
Look! There's money...
I mean Jeff!
372
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,056
Jeff! Give me your hand!
373
00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:06,187
Let's get all
the boring paperwork
out of the way first, huh?
374
00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:09,440
Everybody hold onto me!
375
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,571
Steve, switch places with me.
376
00:19:20,952 --> 00:19:22,412
Stan, do something!
377
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,455
{\an8}I'm comin', Shakira!
378
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:27,041
Got you!
379
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:28,167
Climb up!
380
00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:36,926
Okay, I can sign the form now.
381
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:40,054
Jeff, don't sign anything
or they'll control you.
382
00:19:40,054 --> 00:19:41,180
I don't care.
383
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,640
I just want to go home.
384
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,809
You still wanna
live with them?
385
00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:46,769
They're the only family
I've ever had!
386
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,313
I don't want to lose them!
387
00:19:48,313 --> 00:19:50,773
That's why I tried
to get rid of the money.
388
00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:51,941
Get rid of the money?
389
00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:54,569
Yeah, I knew those
investments were stupid.
390
00:19:54,569 --> 00:19:57,822
But I was afraid we'd use
the money to buy a house!
391
00:19:57,822 --> 00:20:00,033
I don't want to move away
from my family.
392
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,162
Oh, Jeff, we're so sorry.
393
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:06,664
It doesn't matter
that you don't contribute...
394
00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:08,958
He literally just
saved your lives.
395
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,585
Contribute money, Hayley.
396
00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:13,546
Jeff, what you contribute
is you.
397
00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:17,884
You're free
to spend your money
however you want.
398
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,010
Yeah, about that.
399
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:20,094
There's no money.
400
00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:22,138
What!
- Turns out I know nothing
401
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:23,681
about casino management.
402
00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:26,601
My blackjack tables
were paying out
a thousand to one!
403
00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:29,979
I think I'm bad with money.
But I guess we could
sell the casino.
404
00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:41,282
{\an8}Or not. Most likely not.
405
00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:45,161
{\an8}This one's on the house, Jeff.
406
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,462
It's back!
407
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:55,922
{\an8}Shit.
31698
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