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1
00:00:06,842 --> 00:00:08,280
Hi!
2
00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:12,117
I'm Trish.
This is my partner-in-crime, Suze.
3
00:00:12,885 --> 00:00:14,286
And I'm Suze.
4
00:00:14,286 --> 00:00:17,289
And this is Morning Mimosa!
5
00:00:19,207 --> 00:00:22,377
We've got a hell of a show
planned for you today.
6
00:00:22,377 --> 00:00:27,007
Mayor Garfield will be on later
for a game of Suck and Blow.
7
00:00:27,007 --> 00:00:28,717
Ooh!
8
00:00:28,717 --> 00:00:31,386
As well as the world's
youngest blackbelt.
9
00:00:31,386 --> 00:00:32,971
Aw!
10
00:00:32,971 --> 00:00:36,850
And get this, she knows all
the state capitals by heart.
11
00:00:36,850 --> 00:00:39,644
What a remarkable little dork, right?
12
00:00:39,644 --> 00:00:43,982
And lastly, your favorite and ours,
Todd Fox will be joining us again
13
00:00:43,982 --> 00:00:48,153
with his collection of exotic animals.
14
00:00:50,655 --> 00:00:55,327
Speaking of, we want to take a minute
up front to issue a public apology.
15
00:00:55,327 --> 00:00:57,037
Uh-oh.
16
00:00:57,037 --> 00:01:01,500
We got a lot of letters from
animal rights watchdogs last week,
17
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:05,337
and Suze would like to
say a deep-down sorry
18
00:01:05,337 --> 00:01:07,339
for eating that rare butterfly.
19
00:01:07,339 --> 00:01:09,007
Thought it was a hummingbird.
20
00:01:09,007 --> 00:01:11,551
Okay, on with the show!
21
00:01:11,551 --> 00:01:13,929
Producer Charlie,
please pull up the map.
22
00:01:13,929 --> 00:01:17,182
Let's get an early bird
look at today's...
23
00:01:17,182 --> 00:01:22,020
D-U-I Checkpoints!
24
00:01:22,020 --> 00:01:25,524
Hi. Charlie Greenfield.
That's you, not me.
25
00:01:25,524 --> 00:01:27,025
Hayley Smith is me.
26
00:01:27,025 --> 00:01:29,361
- Intern, starting today.
- Intern?
27
00:01:29,361 --> 00:01:31,279
For my Journalism class at Groff.
28
00:01:31,279 --> 00:01:34,699
Listen, we don't really
do journalism here.
29
00:01:34,699 --> 00:01:39,412
News is dark and dreary. Boo.
No fun first thing in the morning.
30
00:01:39,412 --> 00:01:42,707
What we do is this.
31
00:01:42,707 --> 00:01:44,709
You voted and we listened.
32
00:01:44,709 --> 00:01:49,798
All week, Trish will be doing
the show from a papasan!
33
00:01:49,798 --> 00:01:52,300
Whee! I'm spilling!
34
00:01:56,137 --> 00:01:58,890
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
35
00:01:58,890 --> 00:02:02,477
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
36
00:02:02,477 --> 00:02:05,480
♪ The sun in the sky
Has a smile on his face ♪
37
00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:09,067
♪ And he's shining a salute
To the American race ♪
38
00:02:11,987 --> 00:02:15,115
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
39
00:02:15,115 --> 00:02:17,409
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
40
00:02:17,409 --> 00:02:18,493
Ah!
41
00:02:20,036 --> 00:02:23,331
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
42
00:02:23,331 --> 00:02:25,959
Whee! I'm spilling!
43
00:02:25,959 --> 00:02:30,463
Oh, my God, I want to die.
Why am I throwing up tar?
44
00:02:30,463 --> 00:02:33,508
It's food poisoning.
We all caught it.
45
00:02:33,508 --> 00:02:35,844
It's hard to pin down
exactly what caused it,
46
00:02:35,844 --> 00:02:41,141
but I'm leaning toward the giant wok
of squid ink paella we made last night.
47
00:02:42,475 --> 00:02:45,353
Okay, did a quick
inventory of our rations
48
00:02:45,353 --> 00:02:49,107
and we've got zero sports drinks,
ginger ale, or saltines.
49
00:02:49,107 --> 00:02:53,486
What we do have are 62 Tupperware
containers of squid ink paella.
50
00:02:53,486 --> 00:02:55,697
I threw out everything
else to make room.
51
00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:58,867
You gotta remember,
at the time, we loved the paella.
52
00:03:01,286 --> 00:03:04,623
I don't want to sound dramatic, but
if we don't get some electrolytes soon,
53
00:03:04,623 --> 00:03:06,708
things could get
pretty dire around here.
54
00:03:10,045 --> 00:03:14,507
Jeff, did you eat
the paella last night?
55
00:03:14,507 --> 00:03:18,303
Nope. Hayley and I went out to dinner
to celebrate her new internship.
56
00:03:18,303 --> 00:03:19,512
We're saved!
57
00:03:19,512 --> 00:03:21,640
I did have some for breakfast.
58
00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:24,351
Did you guys know it's
the only food in the kitchen?
59
00:03:24,351 --> 00:03:26,311
Jeff, run!
60
00:03:26,311 --> 00:03:29,981
You have ten,
maybe 12 minutes before you turn.
61
00:03:29,981 --> 00:03:34,152
You need to buy as much
Gatorade as you can carry.
62
00:03:34,152 --> 00:03:35,820
You're our only hope!
63
00:03:35,820 --> 00:03:38,114
You can count on me, Mrs. S!
64
00:03:41,272 --> 00:03:44,537
Whoa! New dog in the neighborhood!
65
00:03:45,997 --> 00:03:48,208
You're a friendly guy, aren't you?
66
00:03:48,208 --> 00:03:51,002
You're kinda small for a Basset Hound.
67
00:03:51,002 --> 00:03:53,171
You got a little Chihuahua in you too?
68
00:03:53,171 --> 00:03:54,923
- Jeff!
- You [BLEEP]!
69
00:03:57,968 --> 00:04:01,012
Don't mean to interrupt.
Just wanted to meet my coworkers.
70
00:04:01,012 --> 00:04:02,681
Hayley Smith, intern.
71
00:04:02,681 --> 00:04:05,016
I heard you're having
Mayor Garfield on later.
72
00:04:05,016 --> 00:04:07,018
Seems like maybe a good opportunity
73
00:04:07,018 --> 00:04:10,772
to ask him about the sorry state of
basketball courts in our public parks.
74
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:13,149
Charlie, this one's talking to me!
75
00:04:14,776 --> 00:04:18,530
Did you see that?
It looked me right in the face!
76
00:04:18,530 --> 00:04:20,031
What are you doing?
77
00:04:20,031 --> 00:04:22,075
You don't talk to the talent.
What did you say to them?
78
00:04:22,075 --> 00:04:25,036
I mentioned Mayor Garfield hasn't
been keeping his campaign promise.
79
00:04:25,036 --> 00:04:28,707
No, no, no, no, no, no!
I said no journalism.
80
00:04:28,707 --> 00:04:30,875
Well, surely,
a little journalism can't hurt.
81
00:04:31,769 --> 00:04:34,713
This show. It's light, it's bubbly.
82
00:04:34,713 --> 00:04:37,424
It goes down smooth, like a mimosa!
83
00:04:37,424 --> 00:04:41,636
And right now, you, you're like a
wasp hovering around that mimosa.
84
00:04:41,636 --> 00:04:45,890
You're annoying, and you don't
understand that this is our picnic!
85
00:04:45,890 --> 00:04:48,393
I just want to try and do
some good while I'm here.
86
00:04:48,393 --> 00:04:51,146
Good, then I have
the perfect job for you.
87
00:04:52,689 --> 00:04:55,567
Now I understand you love clowns.
88
00:04:55,567 --> 00:05:00,321
No. Towns. State capitals.
I hate clowns.
89
00:05:00,321 --> 00:05:02,615
"Clowns"? That's my cue!
90
00:05:03,597 --> 00:05:08,747
Cheyenne! Lincoln! Dover! Olympia!
91
00:05:08,747 --> 00:05:11,082
- What are you in for?
- Attacked by a small child.
92
00:05:11,082 --> 00:05:12,333
Small monkey.
93
00:05:12,333 --> 00:05:14,919
- I'm Todd Fox.
- I know. I'm a massive fan...
94
00:05:14,919 --> 00:05:17,005
- Why, thank you.
- ...of your octopus, Kristoff.
95
00:05:17,005 --> 00:05:18,465
Oh. Well...
96
00:05:18,465 --> 00:05:20,925
- You can meet him if you like.
- Are you serious?
97
00:05:20,925 --> 00:05:23,720
Of course.
He goes everywhere with me. Kristoff!
98
00:05:25,013 --> 00:05:26,848
Kristoff, say hello.
99
00:05:26,848 --> 00:05:30,810
Hello, lady. Nice lady sad.
100
00:05:30,810 --> 00:05:34,856
- Kristoff.
- No, it's okay. I am feeling a little down.
101
00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:37,650
- What's the trouble?
- I came here thinking it was a chance
102
00:05:37,650 --> 00:05:41,362
to get my foot in the door,
but now I realize how stupid that was.
103
00:05:41,362 --> 00:05:44,949
Well, that's extremely vague,
but my advice,
104
00:05:44,949 --> 00:05:46,618
if you find yourself tied to something
105
00:05:46,618 --> 00:05:49,496
that makes you unhappy,
cut it loose and walk away.
106
00:05:49,496 --> 00:05:52,290
Huh. Well, thank you, Mr. Fox.
107
00:05:52,290 --> 00:05:54,209
Please, call me Todd Fox.
108
00:05:54,209 --> 00:05:56,127
Intern! There you are.
109
00:05:56,127 --> 00:05:59,172
We need to get you out of that sling
and into your tortilla chip costume.
110
00:05:59,172 --> 00:06:02,300
We're five minutes away from
the piping hot queso high dive.
111
00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:05,011
Medical team on standby?
112
00:06:05,011 --> 00:06:07,722
Nope. Can't do it. Todd Fox is right.
113
00:06:07,722 --> 00:06:09,974
Gotta cut this loose and walk away.
114
00:06:09,974 --> 00:06:13,144
I can just take the journalism
class again next year.
115
00:06:13,144 --> 00:06:14,646
What's this?
116
00:06:14,646 --> 00:06:18,233
"Todd Fox's first wife was murdered.
117
00:06:18,233 --> 00:06:19,901
Follow the money, Hayley."
118
00:06:20,633 --> 00:06:23,071
I'm Hayley! Oh, my God!
119
00:06:23,571 --> 00:06:25,406
Journalism.
120
00:06:27,992 --> 00:06:29,327
Out of the way!
121
00:06:29,327 --> 00:06:30,829
Bombshell coming through!
122
00:06:30,829 --> 00:06:34,415
She's overselling herself.
She's a six on a good day.
123
00:06:34,415 --> 00:06:36,668
Okay, look,
I know you guys don't do news,
124
00:06:36,668 --> 00:06:40,171
but Todd Fox might have
murdered his first wife.
125
00:06:40,171 --> 00:06:42,549
You have to dig into this
before he's on the show.
126
00:06:42,549 --> 00:06:45,385
We don't have to do anything.
I'm not touching that.
127
00:06:45,385 --> 00:06:47,345
How do we know you didn't write it?
128
00:06:47,791 --> 00:06:51,599
Yeah. How do we know
it wasn't you who got murdered?
129
00:06:51,599 --> 00:06:54,352
- What?
- Intern?
130
00:06:54,352 --> 00:06:57,272
I thought I told you to
stop pestering the stars.
131
00:06:57,272 --> 00:06:58,523
And what is this?
132
00:06:58,523 --> 00:07:01,693
A-ha! Just as I suspected.
133
00:07:01,693 --> 00:07:02,861
A scoop.
134
00:07:02,861 --> 00:07:04,863
If it's true, it's huge news.
135
00:07:04,863 --> 00:07:06,197
Wait, really?
136
00:07:06,197 --> 00:07:08,533
Well, in that case,
call the freakin' Gazette
137
00:07:08,533 --> 00:07:10,410
because that's not what we do here!
138
00:07:10,410 --> 00:07:12,579
Drop it or you're fired,
139
00:07:12,579 --> 00:07:16,791
and I'll see to it that you never
work in brunch-time television again.
140
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:18,877
Okay.
141
00:07:18,877 --> 00:07:22,213
Besides, you really think
these two are even capable
142
00:07:22,213 --> 00:07:24,716
of handling your alleged "bombshell"?
143
00:07:24,716 --> 00:07:26,384
Look at them.
144
00:07:26,384 --> 00:07:31,139
All this is making me want a churro bad.
Bring in the Churrodillo!
145
00:07:32,891 --> 00:07:35,894
♪ I'm too sexy for my shirt ♪
146
00:07:35,894 --> 00:07:39,731
Yeah, work it, Churrodillo. Work it!
147
00:07:39,731 --> 00:07:44,235
The kitchen is off-limits forever now,
and I don't want to talk about why.
148
00:07:44,235 --> 00:07:46,988
Could I at least sneak in
quickly and change out my water?
149
00:07:46,988 --> 00:07:49,073
The kitchen is gone, Klaus!
150
00:07:49,073 --> 00:07:52,994
Well, I'm sure Jeff will be
home any minute and we'll all be saved.
151
00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:55,455
Jeff is dead in a ditch
somewhere covered in ink.
152
00:07:55,455 --> 00:07:57,332
I feel it in my bones.
153
00:07:57,332 --> 00:08:02,003
It's time to accept the fact that
none of us are coming back from this.
154
00:08:06,257 --> 00:08:08,468
Snack cart! He's got drinks!
155
00:08:08,468 --> 00:08:09,677
We're saved!
156
00:08:09,677 --> 00:08:12,680
Steve, you have to signal him!
157
00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:14,515
Don't let him get away!
158
00:08:16,351 --> 00:08:18,353
Wha... Ahh! Whoa!
159
00:08:22,732 --> 00:08:24,567
Did he see you, Steve?
160
00:08:29,364 --> 00:08:30,949
This is such good journalism.
161
00:08:30,949 --> 00:08:33,368
I am doing the shit
out of this journalism.
162
00:08:33,368 --> 00:08:35,954
Is that my microfiche reader?
163
00:08:35,954 --> 00:08:38,790
You're still researching Todd Fox,
aren't you?
164
00:08:38,790 --> 00:08:41,542
Jesus, are those my sour Twizzlers too?
165
00:08:41,542 --> 00:08:44,170
Those were in my car, my locked car.
166
00:08:47,298 --> 00:08:50,969
You got big ovaries, kid.
I'll give you that.
167
00:08:50,969 --> 00:08:55,139
You know, I did too once.
God, it seems like another lifetime now.
168
00:08:55,139 --> 00:08:57,725
I'll tell you about it
after I nuke this toilet.
169
00:09:00,311 --> 00:09:01,688
Done.
170
00:09:01,688 --> 00:09:04,190
The year was 17. For me.
171
00:09:04,190 --> 00:09:06,484
For some others,
it was likely a different age.
172
00:09:06,484 --> 00:09:11,155
Trish and I were paired up at random
by our broadcast journalism teacher.
173
00:09:11,155 --> 00:09:13,533
We were a great team from the start.
174
00:09:13,533 --> 00:09:17,161
Our first expose blew the
lid off local corruption,
175
00:09:17,161 --> 00:09:19,664
earning us a B plus in the class.
176
00:09:19,664 --> 00:09:21,874
It was one of those teachers
who doesn't give 'A's
177
00:09:21,874 --> 00:09:23,584
based on some misguided principle.
178
00:09:23,584 --> 00:09:27,422
No, I don't give 'A's.
Because of my misguided principles.
179
00:09:27,422 --> 00:09:30,842
After our first big scoop,
we were hooked.
180
00:09:30,842 --> 00:09:33,052
Just two more kids in America
181
00:09:33,052 --> 00:09:36,347
falling recklessly in
love with the news!
182
00:09:36,347 --> 00:09:39,851
Early reports indicate
thousands injured or missing.
183
00:09:39,851 --> 00:09:41,894
We're not finished doing the news!
184
00:09:43,688 --> 00:09:47,275
Eventually, we landed
our own TV news hour.
185
00:09:47,275 --> 00:09:51,195
But we were young and didn't know
the dark side of the industry yet.
186
00:09:51,195 --> 00:09:54,782
Hi, Suze. I also had to use the bathroom,
so I can help with this story, too.
187
00:09:54,782 --> 00:09:57,702
Test groups find the
two of you intimidating.
188
00:09:57,702 --> 00:10:01,372
I was thinking maybe we cash
in those dusty old pantsuits
189
00:10:01,372 --> 00:10:03,708
for something that
shows a little more leg.
190
00:10:03,708 --> 00:10:08,421
And, Trish, lose the glasses.
No one likes chicks who can see good.
191
00:10:08,421 --> 00:10:12,050
I just think we could get more
eyeballs if we added a simple game.
192
00:10:12,050 --> 00:10:14,886
I promise it won't
compromise your credibility.
193
00:10:14,886 --> 00:10:17,638
I'm not asking you to play
Twister with Gore Vidal.
194
00:10:17,638 --> 00:10:20,892
Just something to loosen everyone up.
Think casual.
195
00:10:20,892 --> 00:10:23,853
And maybe a drink in your hand
to grease the wheels?
196
00:10:35,031 --> 00:10:36,574
And now, we're here.
197
00:10:36,574 --> 00:10:38,910
Wow. I had no idea.
198
00:10:38,910 --> 00:10:42,580
That is so, so perfect.
199
00:10:42,580 --> 00:10:46,125
It is? Maybe I told it wrong.
200
00:10:46,125 --> 00:10:47,627
Don't you see?
201
00:10:47,627 --> 00:10:50,797
You two aren't just aging,
cookie-cutter, empty calorie,
202
00:10:50,797 --> 00:10:52,423
talentless, mid-tier beauties.
203
00:10:52,423 --> 00:10:53,925
- Ouch!
- Jesus!
204
00:10:53,925 --> 00:10:55,927
You've got chops!
205
00:10:55,927 --> 00:10:59,430
You were a real deal journalists once,
and you can be that again. Right now.
206
00:11:00,561 --> 00:11:02,100
I don't know.
207
00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:05,520
Just listen to this juice
I dug up on Todd Fox.
208
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:07,522
His wife was a wealthy heiress,
209
00:11:07,522 --> 00:11:09,524
and they married after only two months.
210
00:11:09,524 --> 00:11:12,151
Then she died under
mysterious circumstances
211
00:11:12,151 --> 00:11:15,196
when her zip-lining harness
"gave out" on their honeymoon.
212
00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:18,366
Boom! Todd Fox
inherited her whole fortune
213
00:11:18,366 --> 00:11:23,121
and has been slowly draining it to buy
more exotic animals and build his brand.
214
00:11:23,121 --> 00:11:26,290
The note was right.
It really looks like he murdered her.
215
00:11:26,290 --> 00:11:29,710
You know what else? He hooked up with
me after the Christmas party last year,
216
00:11:29,710 --> 00:11:32,672
even though he saw me throw up twice.
217
00:11:32,672 --> 00:11:35,633
And I actually threw up five times.
218
00:11:35,633 --> 00:11:38,719
You two have a real chance
to blindside him today.
219
00:11:38,719 --> 00:11:41,556
He won't see it coming.
Not on Morning Mimosa!
220
00:11:41,556 --> 00:11:43,015
And not from you.
221
00:11:43,015 --> 00:11:46,394
Please, journalism was your dream,
and now it's mine.
222
00:11:46,394 --> 00:11:48,855
Do it for all the kids
like me watching at home.
223
00:11:48,855 --> 00:11:51,149
Wait. How old are you?
224
00:11:51,149 --> 00:11:53,317
Because you look like you're 35.
225
00:11:53,317 --> 00:11:56,821
No, we can't. Todd Fox is beloved.
It's career suicide.
226
00:11:56,821 --> 00:11:59,073
I'm sorry, intern.
I never actually learned your name.
227
00:11:59,073 --> 00:12:02,243
Charlie is right about us.
We can't do news anymore.
228
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:03,411
We changed.
229
00:12:03,411 --> 00:12:06,414
And you will too when you grow up. More.
230
00:12:06,414 --> 00:12:08,708
Okay, we should really get back.
231
00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:11,836
I think it's been about eight
minutes of dead air out there.
232
00:12:11,836 --> 00:12:14,589
Lionfish! Bike tire! Rabbit!
233
00:12:15,256 --> 00:12:18,050
Fanny pack! Seal!
234
00:12:18,050 --> 00:12:21,512
Shut up! That's the one I meant!
235
00:12:25,224 --> 00:12:29,937
Cash in those dusty old pantsuits
for something that shows a little more leg.
236
00:12:31,606 --> 00:12:34,233
And maybe a drink in your
hand to grease the wheels?
237
00:12:40,448 --> 00:12:43,868
Todd Fox, I'm dying to know,
238
00:12:43,868 --> 00:12:47,413
do any of your animals mate for life?
239
00:12:47,413 --> 00:12:49,707
Oh, sure.
My shingleback lizards are a prime...
240
00:12:49,707 --> 00:12:52,293
And where do you stand
on that philosophy?
241
00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:54,754
- I'm sorry?
- "Till death do you part."
242
00:12:54,754 --> 00:12:56,547
What's your take on that?
243
00:12:56,547 --> 00:12:59,884
Well, I'd say those shingleback
lizards never met my last wife.
244
00:13:01,385 --> 00:13:03,554
And what about your first wife?
245
00:13:06,516 --> 00:13:08,726
Oh, my God.
246
00:13:10,014 --> 00:13:10,811
What are you doing?
247
00:13:10,811 --> 00:13:13,147
I made it clear to your producer
I don't talk about her.
248
00:13:13,147 --> 00:13:14,732
Oh, come on!
249
00:13:14,732 --> 00:13:17,068
The first woman to land Todd Fox.
250
00:13:17,068 --> 00:13:20,446
I bet our audience would
love to know her secret.
251
00:13:23,144 --> 00:13:24,575
She was the love of my life.
252
00:13:24,575 --> 00:13:28,120
Speaking of love, I brought two
lovely little squirrel monkeys today
253
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,289
and one of them can
actually read and write!
254
00:13:30,289 --> 00:13:32,625
The other one, well,
he just isn't getting it.
255
00:13:32,625 --> 00:13:34,293
So it wasn't her money?
256
00:13:34,293 --> 00:13:37,088
Hey, come on. Are we here to
talk about dead relationships
257
00:13:37,088 --> 00:13:39,924
or see a squirrel monkey get
tangled up in Trish's hair?
258
00:13:39,924 --> 00:13:42,927
Fascinating choice of words.
259
00:13:42,927 --> 00:13:45,221
"Dead relationships."
260
00:13:46,013 --> 00:13:47,139
Please don't do this.
261
00:13:47,139 --> 00:13:49,684
Bring up the newspaper, please.
262
00:13:50,685 --> 00:13:53,437
Is that her, Todd? She's gorgeous.
263
00:13:53,437 --> 00:13:56,315
Oh, God, I've never even seen these.
264
00:13:56,315 --> 00:13:57,775
Is that "the" moment?
265
00:13:57,775 --> 00:14:00,444
You tell us. It was your honeymoon.
266
00:14:00,444 --> 00:14:02,613
An heiress! Wow!
267
00:14:02,613 --> 00:14:05,366
What happened to her money after that?
268
00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:07,451
I took over the estate.
269
00:14:07,451 --> 00:14:10,830
And how much do bald eagles cost?
270
00:14:10,830 --> 00:14:13,374
All your animals must
have been a small fortune.
271
00:14:13,374 --> 00:14:15,293
I don't think I like
what you're implying.
272
00:14:15,293 --> 00:14:17,795
Then I'll stop implying and ask.
273
00:14:17,795 --> 00:14:20,923
Todd Fox, did you murder your wife?
274
00:14:23,050 --> 00:14:24,969
I didn't kill my wife!
275
00:14:24,969 --> 00:14:27,972
Do you notice anything missing
from those pictures? It's me!
276
00:14:27,972 --> 00:14:29,682
I didn't even make it to Costa Rica
277
00:14:29,682 --> 00:14:32,977
because I got such severe
food poisoning on the layover,
278
00:14:32,977 --> 00:14:34,645
I had to be hospitalized.
279
00:14:34,645 --> 00:14:37,565
I slipped in and out of a
diarrhea coma for weeks.
280
00:14:37,565 --> 00:14:40,359
I have the hospital records.
I'd never kill her.
281
00:14:40,359 --> 00:14:42,069
I loved her.
282
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:47,033
This has Hayley written all over it.
283
00:14:47,033 --> 00:14:50,494
- Oh, no.
- Boo!
284
00:14:50,494 --> 00:14:52,246
Commercial! Throw to commercial!
285
00:14:52,371 --> 00:14:53,748
Boo!
286
00:14:53,748 --> 00:14:55,666
Well, that's our careers.
287
00:14:55,666 --> 00:14:57,668
Good run, ladies.
I hope it was worth it.
288
00:14:57,668 --> 00:14:59,712
Sir, please! It was all my fault.
289
00:14:59,712 --> 00:15:02,173
Oh, it's your fault? Oh, fantastic!
290
00:15:02,173 --> 00:15:04,842
I'll just go tell the network
that it wasn't Trish and Suze
291
00:15:04,842 --> 00:15:08,679
who accused a national
treasure of murder on live TV!
292
00:15:08,679 --> 00:15:11,349
It was you with your
hand up their asses!
293
00:15:11,349 --> 00:15:13,559
It's not that bad, Charlie.
294
00:15:13,559 --> 00:15:15,895
We can fix it after the break.
295
00:15:15,895 --> 00:15:18,272
You think I'm letting
you go back out there?
296
00:15:18,272 --> 00:15:21,192
You're done! I'm running
MacGyver the rest of the day.
297
00:15:21,192 --> 00:15:23,194
Come on, did you guys give up
298
00:15:23,194 --> 00:15:27,031
when Suze electrocuted Ryan
Reynolds with a car battery?
299
00:15:27,031 --> 00:15:29,867
Did you call it quits when
Suze tricked Michelle Obama
300
00:15:29,867 --> 00:15:32,203
into eating peanuts to see
if her allergy was fake?
301
00:15:32,203 --> 00:15:34,747
It is always you, isn't it?
302
00:15:34,747 --> 00:15:36,916
All we need is the fluffiest,
303
00:15:36,916 --> 00:15:40,378
sweetest, bubbliest apology
segment you've ever done.
304
00:15:40,378 --> 00:15:43,089
I've learned my lesson.
Screw journalism!
305
00:15:43,089 --> 00:15:45,883
Put me in a bikini! Give me a mimosa!
306
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,387
Oh, God, that's actually really nice.
307
00:15:49,387 --> 00:15:53,057
If we can get Todd Fox back out there,
she might be right.
308
00:15:53,057 --> 00:15:55,434
But I'm warning you, stick to the cards!
309
00:15:55,434 --> 00:15:57,937
Anything different,
and you'll be hosting another
310
00:15:57,937 --> 00:16:02,066
Trish and Suze booze cruise
from Port Lewes to Santa Cruz.
311
00:16:03,609 --> 00:16:07,405
Welcome back.
If you were around for our last segment,
312
00:16:07,405 --> 00:16:10,408
you might assume we're
cooking up some crow.
313
00:16:11,909 --> 00:16:13,077
Nope, Trish.
314
00:16:13,077 --> 00:16:15,079
Today,
we're going to teach everyone at home
315
00:16:15,079 --> 00:16:19,250
how to make apology sugar cookies
for our dear friend, Todd Fox.
316
00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:20,918
But things could get interesting
317
00:16:20,918 --> 00:16:26,424
because we'll be trying
to do it in sumo suits!
318
00:16:27,151 --> 00:16:29,427
Can we at least take those down?
319
00:16:29,427 --> 00:16:31,804
Of course. So sorry, Todd Fox.
320
00:16:31,804 --> 00:16:35,933
Okay, now nothing says
"I'm sorry" better than butter...
321
00:16:35,933 --> 00:16:38,102
Hang on. Put it back up.
322
00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:43,691
I know that fanny pack.
323
00:16:47,361 --> 00:16:49,363
Holy [BLEEP]! It's Kristoff!
324
00:16:49,363 --> 00:16:51,157
Back to commercial!
325
00:16:51,157 --> 00:16:53,617
So the octopus was the fanny pack,
right?
326
00:16:53,617 --> 00:16:57,872
And in the photo where she falls,
the fanny pack is gone! Look!
327
00:16:59,999 --> 00:17:02,460
So what are we saying?
That Kristoff killed her?
328
00:17:02,460 --> 00:17:05,796
The only way to prove it
is to force a confession.
329
00:17:05,796 --> 00:17:08,966
We've gotta grill the octopus.
330
00:17:08,966 --> 00:17:10,551
Are you sure you want to do this?
331
00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:11,969
You could just back out now.
332
00:17:11,969 --> 00:17:13,304
Go back to how things were.
333
00:17:13,304 --> 00:17:16,348
- I honestly don't think I can.
- Me neither.
334
00:17:16,348 --> 00:17:20,352
If we're gonna blow up our career, it
should be for something we're proud of.
335
00:17:20,352 --> 00:17:22,855
Charlie, how long until we're back?
336
00:17:22,855 --> 00:17:24,482
We're not going back on.
337
00:17:24,482 --> 00:17:27,902
I'm not letting you hurt
America's sweetheart anymore.
338
00:17:27,902 --> 00:17:31,071
Where's the one where MacGyver
blows up a plane? That's a good one.
339
00:17:31,071 --> 00:17:32,531
We're back in ten!
340
00:17:32,531 --> 00:17:34,325
I knocked out the board operator!
341
00:17:34,325 --> 00:17:36,660
He was helping us!
342
00:17:36,660 --> 00:17:40,664
Oh. Well, he's...
Okay, he's bleeding pretty bad.
343
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:46,921
Kristoff, how long
have you known Todd Fox?
344
00:17:46,921 --> 00:17:48,881
Kristoff's whole life,
345
00:17:48,881 --> 00:17:52,843
but heart feels it has known him longer.
346
00:17:52,843 --> 00:17:54,512
- Aw!
- Shh!
347
00:17:54,512 --> 00:17:56,931
You'd do anything for him, wouldn't you?
348
00:17:56,931 --> 00:17:58,224
Even kill?
349
00:17:58,224 --> 00:17:59,517
What the hell?
350
00:17:59,517 --> 00:18:01,101
Hayley, pull it up!
351
00:18:03,437 --> 00:18:07,733
- That looks a lot like you, Kristoff.
- It really does.
352
00:18:07,733 --> 00:18:09,193
But that's impossible.
353
00:18:09,193 --> 00:18:11,862
You would have been
by Todd Fox's bedside.
354
00:18:11,862 --> 00:18:15,533
Unless you had a more important
reason to follow Lisa.
355
00:18:15,533 --> 00:18:18,035
Like motive.
356
00:18:18,035 --> 00:18:19,703
- I...
- Come on, Suze.
357
00:18:19,703 --> 00:18:21,372
What are you suggesting?
358
00:18:21,372 --> 00:18:24,917
That a dumb little octopus
can plan that far ahead?
359
00:18:24,917 --> 00:18:29,046
Dumb? Is smuggling myself
into a foreign country
360
00:18:29,046 --> 00:18:32,216
to commit the perfect murder
in the name of love dumb?
361
00:18:33,352 --> 00:18:35,886
- Kristoff?
- Oh, come on, Todd.
362
00:18:35,886 --> 00:18:40,224
You must have felt the energy
between us. We are electric together.
363
00:18:40,224 --> 00:18:44,061
Lisa felt it. She wanted to separate us!
364
00:18:44,061 --> 00:18:47,731
- It was her or me.
- I can't believe this.
365
00:18:47,731 --> 00:18:50,818
You killed my wife,
deceived me all these years...
366
00:18:50,818 --> 00:18:53,612
The masks are off, my darling.
367
00:18:53,612 --> 00:18:56,073
We can finally be together.
368
00:18:56,734 --> 00:18:59,410
You're going to jail. The zoo?
369
00:18:59,410 --> 00:19:01,745
Are all animals in the zoo criminals?
370
00:19:01,745 --> 00:19:02,955
Look out!
371
00:19:10,087 --> 00:19:12,798
I don't know which one is which!
372
00:19:12,798 --> 00:19:15,509
- Why do you have a gun?
- I always have a gun!
373
00:19:15,509 --> 00:19:17,094
Shoot us both!
374
00:19:17,094 --> 00:19:19,096
What? Why shoot either of them?
375
00:19:24,393 --> 00:19:25,644
That's my partner.
376
00:19:26,076 --> 00:19:27,438
Ahh!
377
00:19:27,438 --> 00:19:30,149
Sorry, Trish.
That was a whoopsie bullet.
378
00:19:30,149 --> 00:19:32,443
Well, that's our time.
379
00:19:32,443 --> 00:19:37,197
Join us tomorrow when we'll play
Flip-Cup Charades with Dame Helen Mirren.
380
00:19:37,197 --> 00:19:38,616
See you tomorrow, America!
381
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:39,900
Ooh!
382
00:19:41,035 --> 00:19:43,162
Seems like we're all over
the hump with this bug.
383
00:19:43,162 --> 00:19:45,497
- I'm even a little hungry.
- Me too.
384
00:19:45,497 --> 00:19:48,792
Too bad the only thing we have
to eat is that bad paella.
385
00:19:48,792 --> 00:19:51,503
Eh, what the hell!
I'll take another swing with the paella.
386
00:19:51,503 --> 00:19:53,464
- It'd be a shame to waste it.
- Me, too.
387
00:19:53,464 --> 00:19:55,382
And besides, maybe I'm misremembering it
388
00:19:55,382 --> 00:19:58,302
because it's been a minute,
but I don't even think we got that sick.
389
00:19:59,637 --> 00:20:02,014
It's the paella!
390
00:20:02,014 --> 00:20:03,891
Somebody dump out those Gatorades,
391
00:20:03,891 --> 00:20:06,644
so we can use the bottles
for on-the-go paella.
392
00:20:07,978 --> 00:20:11,482
To a great damn show.
393
00:20:11,482 --> 00:20:14,276
You know what I still can't figure out?
Who wrote that note?
394
00:20:21,909 --> 00:20:24,495
It was the monkey.
The monkey that can write did it.
395
00:20:24,495 --> 00:20:26,038
That makes sense.
396
00:20:26,038 --> 00:20:28,832
Wow, you really figured
everything out, Hayley Smith.
397
00:20:28,832 --> 00:20:31,335
Yeah, Hayley,
you've got a job here anytime.
398
00:20:31,335 --> 00:20:33,504
In fact,
I have a feeling a lot of things
399
00:20:33,504 --> 00:20:35,255
are going to be
changing around here.
400
00:20:37,299 --> 00:20:39,176
Morning, ladies.
How're we feeling?
401
00:20:39,176 --> 00:20:40,678
It's talking to me!
402
00:20:40,678 --> 00:20:42,930
Gross,
it looked you right in the face!
403
00:20:42,930 --> 00:20:44,890
- But yesterday, you...
- We what?
404
00:20:44,890 --> 00:20:48,352
Got blackout drunk, had a great show,
and forgot everything that happened?
405
00:20:48,352 --> 00:20:50,354
That's Morning Mimosa!, kid!
406
00:20:50,354 --> 00:20:53,357
No way she's a kid. She looks 35.
407
00:20:53,357 --> 00:20:55,651
Get out of here, old kid!
408
00:20:56,402 --> 00:20:57,875
Have a great night!
409
00:21:00,281 --> 00:21:02,242
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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