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1
00:00:01,366 --> 00:00:05,503
♪ Thank you for being a friend
2
00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:08,506
♪ Traveled down the road
and back again
3
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:11,175
♪ Your heart is true
4
00:00:11,243 --> 00:00:15,012
♪ You're a pal and a confidant
5
00:00:16,448 --> 00:00:19,684
♪ And if you threw a party
6
00:00:19,751 --> 00:00:23,420
♪ Invited everyone you knew
7
00:00:24,890 --> 00:00:26,190
♪ You would see
8
00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:28,658
♪ The biggest gift
would be from me
9
00:00:28,727 --> 00:00:31,629
♪ And the card attached
would say
10
00:00:31,696 --> 00:00:37,335
♪ Thank you
for being a friend ♪
11
00:01:06,531 --> 00:01:08,231
(SIGHING)
12
00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:09,768
What do you think, Blanche?
13
00:01:09,835 --> 00:01:11,269
Am I through with my cycle?
14
00:01:11,337 --> 00:01:14,406
Well, I'd say menopause
is a pretty good guess.
15
00:01:15,807 --> 00:01:18,909
You're about as puffy
as the Pillsbury Doughboy.
16
00:01:20,111 --> 00:01:22,546
I was talking
about my Exercycle.
17
00:01:25,082 --> 00:01:29,587
It's so hard to know what to leave
here and what to put in storage.
18
00:01:29,655 --> 00:01:30,987
What are you doing, Rose?
19
00:01:31,055 --> 00:01:33,090
Oh, I was just going
through the change.
20
00:01:33,158 --> 00:01:35,627
Well, that explains
the puffiness.
21
00:01:36,962 --> 00:01:39,730
All right, that's it.
I'm sick of this.
22
00:01:39,798 --> 00:01:41,599
I am not puffy.
23
00:01:41,667 --> 00:01:44,968
And there's no similarity between
me and the Pillsbury Doughboy.
24
00:01:45,037 --> 00:01:46,704
Understand? None!
25
00:01:46,771 --> 00:01:47,771
(GIGGLING)
26
00:01:50,975 --> 00:01:52,944
I'll start loading the car.
27
00:01:53,010 --> 00:01:54,378
Don't take any of that.
28
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,313
That's the pile
I'm keeping here.
29
00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:57,481
All of this?
30
00:01:57,549 --> 00:01:59,150
Well, I can't part
with those things.
31
00:01:59,218 --> 00:02:00,784
They're all so special to me.
32
00:02:00,852 --> 00:02:03,320
What's so special about this?
33
00:02:03,388 --> 00:02:06,257
Oh, look, my bullhorn!
34
00:02:06,325 --> 00:02:08,992
Oh, this is the only thing
I have left from my one day
35
00:02:09,061 --> 00:02:10,895
as a Mountain Rangerette.
36
00:02:12,197 --> 00:02:14,132
Hey, you,get out of the pass.
37
00:02:14,199 --> 00:02:16,067
This is avalanche country.
38
00:02:18,069 --> 00:02:20,204
What about this?
You still want this old camera?
39
00:02:20,271 --> 00:02:23,441
Where did you find that?
That was Charlie's camera.
40
00:02:23,509 --> 00:02:26,811
And it still has film in it.
41
00:02:26,877 --> 00:02:30,747
Oh, I bet these are the pictures
from Charlie's last birthday.
42
00:02:30,816 --> 00:02:33,651
I took most of our savings, and
I--I bought him a couple of acres
43
00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:36,954
of the most beautiful land
in Minnesota.
44
00:02:37,021 --> 00:02:39,356
Oh, girls, you should've
seen the look on his face
45
00:02:39,425 --> 00:02:41,025
when it was delivered.
46
00:02:47,098 --> 00:02:49,167
I'll tell you what.
I'll drop the film off
47
00:02:49,234 --> 00:02:52,103
when I pick up our tickets
to the Philharmonic today.
48
00:02:52,170 --> 00:02:53,771
Philharmonic?
Yep.
49
00:02:53,838 --> 00:02:57,042
Beethoven's Sonata No. 29,
50
00:02:57,109 --> 00:03:00,677
one week from tonight, just
you and me under the stars.
51
00:03:00,746 --> 00:03:02,080
Ma, aren't you excited?
52
00:03:02,147 --> 00:03:03,480
I'm lactating.
53
00:03:05,050 --> 00:03:06,150
Ma.
54
00:03:06,217 --> 00:03:07,551
I forgot this.
I don't want to go.
55
00:03:07,618 --> 00:03:09,152
Don't make me go, please.
56
00:03:09,221 --> 00:03:11,921
Ma, you always loved it
when we did things together.
57
00:03:11,990 --> 00:03:13,424
Why the sudden change?
58
00:03:13,491 --> 00:03:16,693
Don't look at me.
Rose is the one going through the change.
59
00:03:16,762 --> 00:03:18,930
Well, that would
explain the puffiness.
60
00:03:21,066 --> 00:03:22,400
I need some coffee.
61
00:03:22,466 --> 00:03:24,836
Oh, I'd love a cup, Sophia.
Oh, me, too.
62
00:03:24,903 --> 00:03:27,337
Oh, sure, make the oldest one
in the tribe serve the young.
63
00:03:27,406 --> 00:03:28,939
And after you have your fill,
64
00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:30,707
I'll go to the mountaintop
and let the wolves eat me.
65
00:03:33,110 --> 00:03:34,412
You know, I'm worried about Ma.
66
00:03:34,479 --> 00:03:35,712
Why? What do you mean?
67
00:03:35,781 --> 00:03:37,848
Well, I picked up this pamphlet
68
00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:40,852
on the four warning signs
of hearing loss.
69
00:03:40,918 --> 00:03:42,453
I think Ma may be
having a problem.
70
00:03:42,521 --> 00:03:43,621
Sophia?
71
00:03:43,687 --> 00:03:45,923
Warning sign number one,
72
00:03:45,990 --> 00:03:49,659
avoidance of social activities.
73
00:03:49,728 --> 00:03:53,963
Number two, people who
can't hear act forgetful.
74
00:03:54,031 --> 00:03:55,800
Ma forgot about these tickets.
75
00:03:55,867 --> 00:03:57,602
Oh, that was just an excuse.
76
00:03:57,670 --> 00:04:00,270
Sophia's not really
getting forgetful.
77
00:04:00,338 --> 00:04:02,340
Hot coffee!
Coming through!
78
00:04:06,645 --> 00:04:09,413
Number three, they act cranky.
79
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:12,817
Ah, the hell with you.
Get your own coffee.
80
00:04:12,884 --> 00:04:16,187
Number four, they usually
laugh out of context.
81
00:04:16,254 --> 00:04:17,822
(LAUGHING)
82
00:04:18,723 --> 00:04:20,358
What are you laughing at?
83
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:23,593
I'm sorry. I thought you
said, "My dog has no nose.
84
00:04:23,661 --> 00:04:26,096
"Well, how does he smell?
Awful."
85
00:04:28,901 --> 00:04:30,134
"Awful."
86
00:04:32,903 --> 00:04:34,105
Nothing, huh?
87
00:04:34,139 --> 00:04:36,340
Well, I laughed
when I thought you said it.
88
00:04:41,112 --> 00:04:43,314
(ENUNCIATING LOUDLY)
Hi, Ma. How are you?
89
00:04:47,286 --> 00:04:50,321
Are you happy today?
90
00:04:50,389 --> 00:04:52,456
Oh, my God, we're being bugged.
91
00:04:52,524 --> 00:04:54,259
Who is it? Immigration?
92
00:04:54,326 --> 00:04:56,661
Ma, what are you talking about?
93
00:04:56,728 --> 00:04:58,396
Uh, happy?
94
00:04:58,463 --> 00:05:01,831
I'm... I'm happy,
all right,
95
00:05:01,899 --> 00:05:05,302
happy to be a citizen of
the United States of America.
96
00:05:05,370 --> 00:05:07,605
Ma, you are a citizen.
97
00:05:07,673 --> 00:05:11,209
That's right, Dorothy.
As far as we know, I am a citizen,
98
00:05:11,276 --> 00:05:13,543
a citizen of the US of A,
99
00:05:15,047 --> 00:05:19,182
home of presidents
like, um, Ford, Lincoln...
100
00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:20,584
Help me out here, Dorothy.
101
00:05:20,651 --> 00:05:21,786
Bush, Ma.
102
00:05:21,853 --> 00:05:23,420
Oh, and Reagan.
103
00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:26,589
Ma, I'm sorry to interrupt
104
00:05:26,658 --> 00:05:30,728
this flag-waving, psychotic
tribute to our country,
105
00:05:30,795 --> 00:05:33,831
(ENUNCIATING LOUDLY) but I
think you need a hearing aid.
106
00:05:33,899 --> 00:05:36,167
Oh, please, I have the hearing
of a springer spaniel.
107
00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:39,403
Look, Ma, I am concerned.
You're my mother.
108
00:05:39,471 --> 00:05:41,906
Can't you just
check it out, please?
109
00:05:41,973 --> 00:05:43,406
(LAUGHING)
110
00:05:44,643 --> 00:05:46,310
What are you laughing at?
111
00:05:46,377 --> 00:05:50,615
I'm sorry. I thought you said, "I'm
Mothra, giant radioactive insect."
112
00:05:50,682 --> 00:05:52,483
(IMITATING MOTHRA)
113
00:05:54,019 --> 00:05:55,452
I didn't, Ma.
114
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:57,321
Too bad.
It was a good impression.
115
00:05:58,189 --> 00:06:00,223
Ma.
116
00:06:00,291 --> 00:06:02,293
Come on, Dorothy, I'm kidding.
117
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,194
I read that flyer
you brought home.
118
00:06:04,262 --> 00:06:07,764
Every time you get a pamphlet,
I get that disease.
119
00:06:07,833 --> 00:06:09,067
And not just diseases.
120
00:06:09,134 --> 00:06:11,302
I thought for a while
I was a Jew for Jesus.
121
00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:16,740
Hi, Sophia.
Shalom.
122
00:06:18,110 --> 00:06:20,711
Dorothy, I picked up
Charlie's pictures.
123
00:06:22,547 --> 00:06:25,917
Oh, these must be from
his last trip to Florida.
124
00:06:25,983 --> 00:06:28,651
He went there every spring
to discuss sales.
125
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:32,122
Ah, look,
here he is at Gator World.
126
00:06:32,191 --> 00:06:35,591
And here he is,
touring the Miami suburbs.
127
00:06:35,659 --> 00:06:38,629
And here he is
in Blanche's bed.
128
00:06:38,697 --> 00:06:40,298
And here he is...
Wait, wait.
129
00:06:40,365 --> 00:06:42,199
Blanche?
Blanche Devereaux?
130
00:06:42,266 --> 00:06:43,800
Yeah, right here in her bed.
131
00:06:45,237 --> 00:06:46,536
Oh, no!
132
00:06:47,973 --> 00:06:52,276
No, don't tell me he met
Blanche and slept with her.
133
00:06:52,343 --> 00:06:53,543
Oh, now, wait.
134
00:06:53,610 --> 00:06:55,612
I'm sure he didn't
sleep with Blanche.
135
00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:57,081
Well, how about this picture?
136
00:06:57,149 --> 00:06:59,415
Well, I mean, just because
a man is in Blanche's bed
137
00:06:59,483 --> 00:07:00,918
doesn't mean...
138
00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:03,487
So a guy makes one mistake.
139
00:07:03,555 --> 00:07:05,322
I mean, there has to be
an explanation.
140
00:07:05,389 --> 00:07:07,490
Honey,
why don't we ask Blanche?
141
00:07:07,559 --> 00:07:09,994
Oh, I can't talk to Blanche.
142
00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:12,663
When I'm upset,
everything comes out wrong.
143
00:07:12,730 --> 00:07:15,298
Face it, Dorothy,
I don't have your quick wit,
144
00:07:15,367 --> 00:07:17,634
your conversation skills,
your...
145
00:07:17,701 --> 00:07:19,502
Your way with... With...
146
00:07:19,571 --> 00:07:20,704
Words?
147
00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:22,005
Words. Thank you.
148
00:07:23,375 --> 00:07:25,276
I'd probably end up
calling her a slut.
149
00:07:25,343 --> 00:07:26,776
Oh, come on.
150
00:07:26,845 --> 00:07:28,778
Honey,
"slut" is a little harsh.
151
00:07:28,846 --> 00:07:31,449
I mean, Blanche isn't that bad.
152
00:07:31,516 --> 00:07:34,784
Oh, my God, I can barely walk.
153
00:07:37,154 --> 00:07:41,125
Although "slut" does have
a documentary feel to it.
154
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:45,495
You... You harlot!
155
00:07:45,564 --> 00:07:50,100
Oh, Rose, I'm sore because I
was using your Exercycle.
156
00:07:50,168 --> 00:07:52,536
I'm talking about this picture.
157
00:07:52,603 --> 00:07:56,105
Oh, my God,
where did you find this?
158
00:07:56,173 --> 00:07:58,576
Oh, I'm so embarrassed.
159
00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:00,877
My hair,
it looks like a helmet.
160
00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:03,247
Blanche!
161
00:08:03,314 --> 00:08:04,781
It's all bunched up and pointy.
162
00:08:04,850 --> 00:08:08,485
Honey, you gotta burn this.
I look like the Rocketeer.
163
00:08:08,552 --> 00:08:10,420
Blanche,
forget about your hair.
164
00:08:10,487 --> 00:08:14,057
That is Rose's husband
with you.
165
00:08:14,125 --> 00:08:17,661
Who, Charlie?
No, I never met Charlie.
166
00:08:17,730 --> 00:08:20,064
You not only met him.
You slept with him,
167
00:08:20,132 --> 00:08:22,165
just like you sleep
with everybody.
168
00:08:22,233 --> 00:08:23,800
I most certainly do not.
169
00:08:23,869 --> 00:08:25,369
Oh, come on, Blanche.
170
00:08:25,437 --> 00:08:29,106
You've landed on your back
more than... More than...
171
00:08:29,908 --> 00:08:31,608
The American Gladiators.
172
00:08:33,879 --> 00:08:34,879
(EXCLAIMING)
173
00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:38,514
You just watch
your mouth, Rose.
174
00:08:38,582 --> 00:08:42,052
I may be a social person,
but I am certainly discerning.
175
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:43,687
Discerning?
176
00:08:43,755 --> 00:08:47,191
Blanche, you've been under more
drunken sailors than... Than...
177
00:08:47,259 --> 00:08:49,894
Oh, now, Rose,
don't drag me into this.
178
00:08:51,696 --> 00:08:53,397
A nautical toilet.
179
00:08:59,004 --> 00:09:02,572
Well, that does it, Rose.
Now you've just gone too far.
180
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:05,809
I don't know how he got into my
room, but I can promise you,
181
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,711
I do not go to bed with men
who wear wedding bands.
182
00:09:08,780 --> 00:09:10,081
What if he took it off?
183
00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:11,982
Then I'd see the tan line.
184
00:09:12,049 --> 00:09:14,985
What if he was from Minnesota
and had no tan?
185
00:09:16,587 --> 00:09:17,788
Ew!
186
00:09:18,523 --> 00:09:19,556
"Ew"?
187
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:21,557
So he's not good
enough for you?
188
00:09:21,626 --> 00:09:26,296
Listen, my Charlie was 6' 2"
and broad shouldered
189
00:09:26,364 --> 00:09:31,034
and apparently had about as
much taste in women as... As...
190
00:09:33,038 --> 00:09:37,474
(STAMMERING) Other men
with flawed choicing skills.
191
00:09:40,879 --> 00:09:42,947
Hi, Ma.
192
00:09:43,014 --> 00:09:45,615
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC
PLAYING ON TELEVISION)
193
00:09:45,682 --> 00:09:47,216
(BLARING)
194
00:09:48,686 --> 00:09:49,986
Aha!
195
00:09:50,053 --> 00:09:51,254
What, "Aha"?
196
00:09:51,322 --> 00:09:52,523
You didn't hear that.
197
00:09:52,591 --> 00:09:54,424
Actually, I was just
trying to be polite,
198
00:09:54,491 --> 00:09:56,726
but since you brought
it up, excuse you.
199
00:09:59,563 --> 00:10:01,465
Ma, you didn't hear that.
200
00:10:01,533 --> 00:10:04,434
Now, face it, you can't
hear high frequencies.
201
00:10:04,501 --> 00:10:06,736
Why can't you be honest about
what's happening to you?
202
00:10:06,804 --> 00:10:09,472
Why do you insist
on becoming feeble?
203
00:10:09,541 --> 00:10:11,607
Feeble?
Now, you listen, Dorothy.
204
00:10:11,676 --> 00:10:14,912
I may not have your gift for word
jumbles or your ability to float
205
00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:17,380
or your way of making
small children weep...
206
00:10:19,551 --> 00:10:21,717
But?
Or your butt. Thank you.
207
00:10:26,124 --> 00:10:27,490
But there's one thing
I do have.
208
00:10:27,557 --> 00:10:28,926
Oh, what's that, Ma?
209
00:10:28,994 --> 00:10:32,328
Two thousand shares of Xerox,
which I bought at...
210
00:10:32,397 --> 00:10:35,798
My health.
I've got my health.
211
00:10:35,866 --> 00:10:39,669
Listen, Ma, I made an appointment
for you for 2:00 this afternoon.
212
00:10:39,736 --> 00:10:41,804
Either you go and get
your hearing checked,
213
00:10:41,873 --> 00:10:44,575
or I will make life
miserable for you.
214
00:10:44,642 --> 00:10:45,975
Oh, come on.
215
00:10:46,043 --> 00:10:47,278
You said the exact
same things to me
216
00:10:47,346 --> 00:10:49,046
before you took me to Shady...
217
00:10:50,014 --> 00:10:51,447
I'll go pretty up.
218
00:10:54,019 --> 00:10:55,652
(CUPBOARDS SLAMMING)
219
00:11:02,260 --> 00:11:03,394
Rose?
220
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:08,231
Rose.
221
00:11:08,299 --> 00:11:10,168
Don't talk to me.
Don't try to cheer me up.
222
00:11:10,235 --> 00:11:11,568
Just leave me alone.
223
00:11:11,636 --> 00:11:14,504
I am angry,
and I'm gonna stay angry!
224
00:11:14,572 --> 00:11:15,873
(GIGGLING)
225
00:11:19,911 --> 00:11:22,011
Stop it!
226
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:23,846
Dorothy,
it just doesn't make sense.
227
00:11:23,914 --> 00:11:25,582
Why was Charlie with that tramp
228
00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:26,850
if he didn't sleep with her?
229
00:11:26,918 --> 00:11:28,552
Now, come on.
230
00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:31,422
Blanche might be a little
loose, but she's not a tramp.
231
00:11:31,490 --> 00:11:32,990
Okay, here they are.
232
00:11:33,057 --> 00:11:36,226
The names of all the men I have
dated since my husband died.
233
00:11:36,294 --> 00:11:38,562
What do you know?
The tramp keeps records.
234
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,268
Dorothy, most of the men
in these pages just fantasized
235
00:11:44,336 --> 00:11:47,136
about going to bed with me.
236
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,105
Oh, what do
the gold stars mean?
237
00:11:50,475 --> 00:11:51,875
I had a good time.
238
00:11:54,078 --> 00:11:55,679
What do the silver stars mean?
239
00:11:55,746 --> 00:11:57,413
I ran out of gold stars.
240
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,618
Wait a minute.
241
00:12:00,686 --> 00:12:02,986
If you didn't sleep with any
of the men in these journals,
242
00:12:03,054 --> 00:12:05,423
then how come it says
"Bed" on the cover?
243
00:12:05,490 --> 00:12:07,791
(LAUGHING)
Oh, that doesn't say "Bed."
244
00:12:07,859 --> 00:12:09,192
Right there, it does.
245
00:12:09,260 --> 00:12:11,028
Oh, silly,
those are my initials.
246
00:12:11,096 --> 00:12:13,931
Blanche Elizabeth Devereaux.
247
00:12:14,832 --> 00:12:17,100
Your initials spell "Bed"?
248
00:12:25,576 --> 00:12:28,678
Okay, let's see.
You said eight years ago, spring?
249
00:12:28,746 --> 00:12:30,480
That starts right here.
250
00:12:30,548 --> 00:12:33,116
I'm gonna prove to you I am not a
sexually indiscriminate person.
251
00:12:33,184 --> 00:12:36,052
Or her name isn't "Bed."
252
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,621
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
253
00:12:38,690 --> 00:12:42,225
It says right there you slept
with a traveling salesman.
254
00:12:42,293 --> 00:12:45,395
Ah, in fairness, it says
that on her license plates.
255
00:12:46,730 --> 00:12:49,567
Oh, my God.
There. "Chuck."
256
00:12:49,634 --> 00:12:52,769
A traveling salesman
named Chuck.
257
00:12:52,836 --> 00:12:55,172
Well, that must be him.
258
00:12:55,239 --> 00:12:57,173
Oh, my God.
259
00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:01,378
Oh, Rose, I'm so sorry.
I did.
260
00:13:01,446 --> 00:13:04,447
It's right there in the diary.
I must have...
261
00:13:04,515 --> 00:13:07,417
I must have slept
with your husband, Charlie.
262
00:13:11,221 --> 00:13:12,355
Oh.
263
00:13:18,863 --> 00:13:20,364
Oh, so what's the news?
264
00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:23,267
How'd the hearing test
come out?
265
00:13:23,335 --> 00:13:25,869
(ENUNCIATING LOUDLY)
Tell her what the doctor said.
266
00:13:27,905 --> 00:13:29,539
Tell her what the doctor...
267
00:13:29,606 --> 00:13:31,174
Ma's fine, okay?
268
00:13:33,076 --> 00:13:34,312
And?
269
00:13:34,379 --> 00:13:36,212
I need a hearing aid,
all right?
270
00:13:40,818 --> 00:13:43,553
I took the test just to show
her there was nothing to it,
271
00:13:43,621 --> 00:13:46,255
and it turns out
I have a slight hearing loss.
272
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:47,692
And get this.
273
00:13:47,759 --> 00:13:49,893
It's inherited,
and it skips a generation.
274
00:13:49,961 --> 00:13:53,230
Skips a generation! Yahoo!
275
00:13:53,298 --> 00:13:54,498
Oh, come on.
276
00:13:55,966 --> 00:13:57,168
That is not true.
277
00:13:57,235 --> 00:13:59,302
You're just gonna gloat
about this, aren't you?
278
00:13:59,370 --> 00:14:01,337
This is nothing
but a big victory for you.
279
00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:03,440
Look, I am not gonna
get a hearing aid,
280
00:14:03,508 --> 00:14:04,707
and that's all there is to it.
281
00:14:04,775 --> 00:14:06,710
But, Dorothy, you're the one
282
00:14:06,778 --> 00:14:09,212
who's been talkin' about
aging with dignity.
283
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,480
Not for me. For her.
284
00:14:12,783 --> 00:14:14,051
I mean, look at her.
285
00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:16,653
The woman is
hundreds of years old.
286
00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:20,725
She should be carbon-dated.
287
00:14:22,192 --> 00:14:23,760
But, Dorothy,
if the doctor said...
288
00:14:23,827 --> 00:14:26,296
Look, I really don't want
to hear this, okay?
289
00:14:26,364 --> 00:14:27,831
Good news, you can't.
290
00:14:34,338 --> 00:14:36,673
Oh, Rose.
Rose, what are you doing?
291
00:14:36,740 --> 00:14:39,009
Oh, she can't face me.
292
00:14:39,076 --> 00:14:40,677
She's been doin' this all day.
293
00:14:40,745 --> 00:14:44,780
Rose, you know
I said I'm sorry.
294
00:14:44,849 --> 00:14:47,217
Can't you put yourself
in my position?
295
00:14:50,355 --> 00:14:52,623
Apparently
I'm not limber enough.
296
00:15:00,063 --> 00:15:02,932
That was good.
297
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,168
Blanche, I know what happened
between you and Charlie
298
00:15:05,236 --> 00:15:06,570
happened before
you ever knew me,
299
00:15:06,638 --> 00:15:08,706
and I know
I shouldn't be so angry,
300
00:15:08,773 --> 00:15:10,774
but I am
and I just can't help it.
301
00:15:10,841 --> 00:15:12,676
Oh, come on.
Take it easy, Rose.
302
00:15:12,744 --> 00:15:14,110
How can I?
303
00:15:14,177 --> 00:15:16,046
What do you think
this makes me feel like?
304
00:15:16,114 --> 00:15:17,681
What?
305
00:15:17,749 --> 00:15:19,182
She said, "What do you think
this makes me feel like?"
306
00:15:19,216 --> 00:15:20,350
Ma!
307
00:15:24,121 --> 00:15:26,389
It's out of the park.
Game over.
308
00:15:26,456 --> 00:15:28,024
I'm going to Disneyland.
309
00:15:32,395 --> 00:15:34,998
How come she gets
to go to Disneyland?
310
00:15:36,701 --> 00:15:39,570
Rose, Dorothy needs
a hearing aid,
311
00:15:39,638 --> 00:15:43,005
but she won't get one because
she's afraid she'll feel old.
312
00:15:43,073 --> 00:15:44,375
I don't get it.
313
00:15:44,442 --> 00:15:47,110
When did I become
my parents' age?
314
00:15:47,178 --> 00:15:50,413
Gosh, you know,
I remember being 20 years old
315
00:15:50,481 --> 00:15:53,149
and--and worrying that if I didn't
spend the holidays at home,
316
00:15:53,217 --> 00:15:54,750
I might never see them again.
317
00:15:54,818 --> 00:15:57,854
Everything changes so suddenly.
318
00:15:57,922 --> 00:15:59,923
You know
what's young to me now?
319
00:15:59,990 --> 00:16:01,258
Forty.
320
00:16:01,326 --> 00:16:04,094
Suddenly, 40 is young.
321
00:16:04,162 --> 00:16:06,397
Oh, aren't you sweet.
322
00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:11,134
(DOROTHY SIGHING)
323
00:16:11,201 --> 00:16:12,969
Every day it's something else.
324
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:15,572
The hair gets gray.
The eyes get weak.
325
00:16:15,639 --> 00:16:18,707
And you shrink.
It's scary.
326
00:16:18,775 --> 00:16:21,945
I mean, you measure your
height against your arm span,
327
00:16:22,013 --> 00:16:23,746
and when they stop being equal,
328
00:16:23,813 --> 00:16:25,715
you're actually
getting smaller.
329
00:16:27,351 --> 00:16:28,418
Hey!
330
00:16:34,993 --> 00:16:37,059
Anyway, Dorothy,
these new hearing aids
331
00:16:37,128 --> 00:16:38,995
just fit right
in the ear canal.
332
00:16:39,062 --> 00:16:40,297
Nobody can even see 'em,
333
00:16:40,365 --> 00:16:41,765
so what does it matter?
334
00:16:41,832 --> 00:16:45,101
It matters because it's a
step I don't want to take.
335
00:16:45,168 --> 00:16:46,937
Look, I don't mind
being divorced
336
00:16:47,004 --> 00:16:49,338
or having to struggle
to pay my bills
337
00:16:49,408 --> 00:16:52,275
or having to eat my weight
in supplements every morning,
338
00:16:52,342 --> 00:16:53,811
but I will not do this.
339
00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:55,779
I will not become
an old person.
340
00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:58,849
Ooh, rain's coming.
341
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:12,395
Rose, it's the middle of September.
What are you doing?
342
00:17:12,463 --> 00:17:14,498
Oh, it's a banner Charlie made.
343
00:17:14,566 --> 00:17:17,768
I thought it'd be nice to have some
good memories of him around me.
344
00:17:17,836 --> 00:17:19,836
He put it up every year.
345
00:17:19,904 --> 00:17:22,172
Oh, he was one of a kind,
all right.
346
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:23,773
Loved Christmas.
347
00:17:23,842 --> 00:17:25,976
Loved Christmas.
That is unique.
348
00:17:28,579 --> 00:17:31,314
Of course, that was
before he met Blanche.
349
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:35,352
Pretty, affectionate,
fun-loving Blanche.
350
00:17:35,420 --> 00:17:37,653
Say,
where is old Happy-pants?
351
00:17:39,691 --> 00:17:41,525
She and Ma went to
the Philharmonic.
352
00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:43,226
I thought you were
going to that.
353
00:17:43,294 --> 00:17:45,762
Why bother? It's not like
I'd be able to enjoy it.
354
00:17:45,829 --> 00:17:46,962
True.
355
00:17:48,132 --> 00:17:51,434
On the other hand,
Beethoven was also deaf,
356
00:17:51,502 --> 00:17:54,471
so you'd be hearing the music
the way he wrote it.
357
00:18:00,912 --> 00:18:02,512
Look at us.
358
00:18:02,579 --> 00:18:04,681
You haven't been
out of the house in a week,
359
00:18:04,749 --> 00:18:07,084
and I've lost
one of my best friends.
360
00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:09,519
Oh, come on, Rose.
You haven't lost one of your best friends.
361
00:18:09,586 --> 00:18:13,390
Sure I have.
It's too painful to talk to Blanche,
362
00:18:13,458 --> 00:18:16,859
so I figure she can be my landlord,
but we'll stop being friends.
363
00:18:16,928 --> 00:18:19,296
Oh, now, Rose, that's not
what you really want.
364
00:18:19,364 --> 00:18:22,432
Honey, you're sacrificing
something very important to you
365
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:25,501
over a mistake
that was made years ago.
366
00:18:25,569 --> 00:18:27,336
Honey, you know
what you should do?
367
00:18:27,404 --> 00:18:32,375
Sit down, write down everything
that you like about Blanche.
368
00:18:32,442 --> 00:18:34,044
Honey, if you care for someone,
369
00:18:34,112 --> 00:18:37,146
it's important to remember
why they're in your life.
370
00:18:38,782 --> 00:18:40,583
I guess you're right.
371
00:18:40,651 --> 00:18:43,086
I guess I was
pretty hard on her.
372
00:18:43,153 --> 00:18:46,890
I can't believe I made that crack
about the nautical toilet.
373
00:18:48,558 --> 00:18:50,093
You lost your head.
374
00:19:02,874 --> 00:19:05,040
Oh, I'm having a vision.
375
00:19:09,646 --> 00:19:10,880
A religious vision.
376
00:19:10,948 --> 00:19:12,449
Oh, God, it's so beautiful!
377
00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:19,623
Sophia, please, our Savior wouldn't
be caught dead in that outfit.
378
00:19:19,691 --> 00:19:21,357
Well, I guess I ought
to go talk to Rose.
379
00:19:21,425 --> 00:19:22,826
Where is she?
In the kitchen.
380
00:19:22,894 --> 00:19:24,894
Oh. Is she still upset?
Uh-huh.
381
00:19:24,961 --> 00:19:26,596
You know,
I just don't understand it.
382
00:19:26,664 --> 00:19:28,598
How could I not
remember Charlie?
383
00:19:28,666 --> 00:19:30,099
Have I finally
turned that corner?
384
00:19:30,167 --> 00:19:31,835
Have I finally become so jaded
385
00:19:31,903 --> 00:19:35,072
that I can no longer
put the name with the face?
386
00:19:35,138 --> 00:19:36,740
Oh, listen to me.
387
00:19:36,807 --> 00:19:38,674
He was probably
just lousy in bed.
388
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,846
You missed a sensational
concert tonight.
389
00:19:43,914 --> 00:19:45,950
I'm glad I didn't go tonight.
390
00:19:46,017 --> 00:19:48,885
Who needs the crowds,
the hassle?
391
00:19:48,953 --> 00:19:51,054
You're sounding old, pussycat.
392
00:19:51,122 --> 00:19:53,256
It's not a hearing aid
that makes you old.
393
00:19:53,357 --> 00:19:55,424
It's what you're becoming
by not getting one.
394
00:19:55,492 --> 00:19:57,994
Think of what you're missing,
all the things I hear.
395
00:19:58,061 --> 00:20:00,297
The birds singing,
the wind in the trees,
396
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:03,467
the sound of the ticker tape telling
you Xerox has gone up to...
397
00:20:06,037 --> 00:20:07,136
My health.
398
00:20:07,204 --> 00:20:08,872
Did I mention
I've got my health?
399
00:20:16,747 --> 00:20:18,548
Rose...
Don't say anything.
400
00:20:18,615 --> 00:20:20,083
I've given this
a lot of thought.
401
00:20:20,151 --> 00:20:21,151
Wait. Wait a minute.
402
00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:23,353
Rose...
No, shh. You listen.
403
00:20:23,421 --> 00:20:27,156
Charlie was the most
important man in my life,
404
00:20:27,224 --> 00:20:29,792
but as much as
I cared about him,
405
00:20:29,861 --> 00:20:32,829
I can't help
but care about you, too.
406
00:20:32,896 --> 00:20:36,365
You're like a sister to me,
and I can't throw that away,
407
00:20:37,768 --> 00:20:40,970
so I forgive you
408
00:20:41,038 --> 00:20:45,375
for being a moralless,
emotionally needy,
409
00:20:45,442 --> 00:20:48,611
man-leech with an air bag
in her headboard.
410
00:20:53,083 --> 00:20:55,885
And I'm sorry
I said you were insensitive.
411
00:20:56,887 --> 00:20:58,521
Apology accepted.
412
00:21:01,991 --> 00:21:04,059
Okay, Dorothy,
hand me those pictures.
413
00:21:04,127 --> 00:21:07,297
I think it's time
we rip them up.
414
00:21:07,364 --> 00:21:10,933
Wait a minute. Rose, have you
seen the rest of these pictures?
415
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,134
I'd rather not.
416
00:21:12,201 --> 00:21:14,403
Honey, I think
there's some mistake.
417
00:21:14,471 --> 00:21:17,240
Look, here's Blanche
in bed with Charlie,
418
00:21:17,307 --> 00:21:22,345
but this one's Blanche
in bed with a pontoon boat.
419
00:21:22,413 --> 00:21:24,314
Here's Blanche in bed
with the big orange
420
00:21:24,381 --> 00:21:26,182
from the Sunkist building,
421
00:21:26,250 --> 00:21:30,053
and here's Blanche in bed with
the Country Bear Jamboree.
422
00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:31,587
(BLANCHE EXCLAIMING)
423
00:21:31,655 --> 00:21:33,323
Honey, do you know
what this means?
424
00:21:33,390 --> 00:21:35,157
I sure do.
425
00:21:35,226 --> 00:21:37,259
My God, you're an animal!
426
00:21:39,195 --> 00:21:42,198
Rose, these are
double exposures.
427
00:21:42,266 --> 00:21:43,400
Double exposures?
428
00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:45,769
Yes, obviously
Blanche took pictures
429
00:21:45,836 --> 00:21:48,771
with the camera over film
that was already in it.
430
00:21:48,839 --> 00:21:50,205
Well, how strange!
431
00:21:50,273 --> 00:21:53,143
And what a great alibi
for the future.
432
00:21:53,210 --> 00:21:54,845
But wait a minute.
What were you doing
433
00:21:54,913 --> 00:21:56,947
taking pictures
of yourself in bed?
434
00:21:57,013 --> 00:21:59,182
You've seen her
Christmas cards.
435
00:22:01,419 --> 00:22:03,086
Well, I've got two tickets here
436
00:22:03,153 --> 00:22:04,755
for the final night
of the Philharmonic,
437
00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:06,789
and one of them has
your name on it.
438
00:22:06,857 --> 00:22:09,291
Here you go, Opus.
439
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:11,060
I thought you two
went last night.
440
00:22:11,127 --> 00:22:12,895
I traded those for these.
441
00:22:12,963 --> 00:22:16,567
Actually, last night we went to
see Dying Young. Terrific.
442
00:22:16,634 --> 00:22:18,501
I laughed till I peed.
443
00:22:20,203 --> 00:22:22,873
And then I laughed at that.
444
00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:25,275
So you mean you just pretended
to go to the concert
445
00:22:25,343 --> 00:22:27,344
so I'd realize
what I've been missing,
446
00:22:27,411 --> 00:22:28,878
how stupid I've been?
447
00:22:28,980 --> 00:22:30,680
Now will you go in
and get a hearing aid?
448
00:22:30,748 --> 00:22:32,316
You're too late, Ma.
I already did.
449
00:22:32,383 --> 00:22:33,682
I'm wearing one now.
450
00:22:33,750 --> 00:22:35,518
You got it?
Why, that's wonderful.
451
00:22:35,586 --> 00:22:37,019
Terrific, honey.
452
00:22:37,087 --> 00:22:39,189
And the great thing is,
you can't even see it.
453
00:22:39,257 --> 00:22:40,958
Oh, you're beautiful.
454
00:22:41,025 --> 00:22:42,826
I told you, to me,
you've always had
455
00:22:42,893 --> 00:22:45,162
the elegance of
a young Lauren Bacall.
456
00:22:45,229 --> 00:22:47,064
Oh, thank you, Ma.
457
00:22:48,499 --> 00:22:49,566
(SIGHING)
458
00:22:49,633 --> 00:22:51,000
A young Bacall.
459
00:22:51,068 --> 00:22:52,234
(CHUCKLING)
460
00:22:54,439 --> 00:22:55,904
Amazing. Sixty years old
461
00:22:55,973 --> 00:22:58,375
and she still falls
for that "young Bacall" bit.
462
00:23:00,810 --> 00:23:02,244
DOROTHY: I heard that.
31887
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