Original subtitles

HONG KONG, 2003

HONG KONG, 2046

Have you found him yet?

No, the Peak is a huge place.

He sounded quite unstable over the phone.

Careful with what you say to him.

Also, don't ever tell him who you are.

I know, I know. You talk too much for a 90-year-old.

Tung Chee Hwa Pavilion?

Probably a dead-end street.

TUNG CHEE HWA PAVILION FORMERLY: FOOL'S PAVILION

Let's get something to eat, Icy.

Icy.

I'm taking care of someone.

My salary, yes, please convert it to Hong Kong dollars.

Because the US dollar is low. I wonder how's Papa doing.

My siblings, yes.

Delete one year,

delete two years.

Might as well delete them all!

Nah, one year is good enough.

But I've only known Lucy for two months.

Hey! My pills…

What are you doing with my pills, old lady?

Pardon me! I'm supposed to look 35! I spent millions on plastic surgery.

Which part of me looks like an old lady?

Which part of you doesn't?

You sound like one, you walk like one.

And you smell like one.

Give me a break, I'm over 80 years old.

I knew it! Why look 35 anyway?

You can't fool anyone.

So easy to rip off an old granny.

Just give me back my pills.

Don't take these pills.

It will wipe out your memory.

That is exactly what I want.

My girlfriend dumped me.

I've been dumped more times than I can count.

You've been dumped, too?

It's no big deal, young man.

Looking back on all my years,

even the saddest one offers sweet memories.

Let me tell you about the year 2003.

2003?

That's the toughest year for Hong Kong people to swallow.

Wow, it's cute!

This chicken looks like you.

How much is it?

It's got a huge breast!

Go to hell!

This is a temple, for God's sake! What do you think you're doing?

It was an accident…

You kept bothering us…

What's going on?

Wow, fat boy, you really scored.

-It just fell out! -No kidding.

How about a New Year cash packet?

Just one packet?

She deserves more! Her cup size is 34C!

Bad number, out. Another bad number, out.

Good number, in!

All the best numbers are here.

-Remember-- -Don't worry, there won't be any mix-up.

Excuse me. Coming through, pardon me.

-Hey, mister, got a light? -Sure.

Thank you!

What's going on?

-Yeah, sorry. -Why did you spill them on the floor?

Please give Kum a lucky number and a happy new year.

Better be a lucky one!

Number four? Bad luck!

Here we go again. Come on, lucky number.

Number ten, good enough! Thank you!

-Kum! -What number did you get?

The best number, of course.

Excellent!

I'm gonna be rich and famous!

Someone is taking pictures.

Is it a movie star?

He's coming!

-I know him! -Who's he?

The new Secretary for Home Affairs, Dr. Patrick Ho.

His wife was once a famous star.

He was quite unlucky that day.

He shouldn't have tried to draw the lucky number for Hong Kong.

Since I unintentionally took all good numbers reserved for him,

he scored the lowest of the low.

We all try our best for Hong Kong.

I won!

-You're winning too much! -Get up, or everyone will hate you.

Hurry, pay up.

Hurry.

Come on.

-Fanny. -Yes.

Bring in all the gifts out there.

Son of a bitch!

Watch your mouth.

My mother-in-law doesn't know that I was an escort.

Try to act like a lady.

Fresh chick on the farm!

Hello!

Congratulations! I'm so happy!

-Here, sex money for you. Funeral money? -No, gift money!

Did I say something wrong?

It feels like the good old days working in the night club.

But we're wearing real jewels tonight, no more dildos.

Snack?

How about karaoke? Okey-dokey, karaoke!

You're late!

Yeah, it's because of this new hairdo.

It took me an hour to set it. God damn it.

Stop swearing!

Quite a dress you've got there.

You noticed? It's expensive. A designer called "Ferfanla" something.

You dressed well back then and stole all my limelight.

How come your breasts got so big and soft?

Perhaps you want some noodles?

No, thanks, I'm full.

BB Lin, what happened to your big breasts?

Go away!

Wow!

How come these breasts… are one-sided?

My mother-in-law!

Congratulations, ma'am!

Even so, this one breast you've still got is in mint condition!

Nonsense!

Enough!

Let's play mahjong!

I haven't played in a long time.

How about $120 for a game?

Why is everybody going to the toilet together?

Or am I wagering too little?

Give me a bowl of crab meat noodles.

But the banquet is starting, ma'am.

But I want noodles! I'm hungry now.

Kum.

They're serving shark fin. Come eat.

You crapping or what?

Cut the crap and grow up, girl.

You are like a sister to me.

You too will get married and settle down one day.

It's the best number in this temple!

It says you're getting married this year.

That's crazy! To whom?

Just find someone! Or you'll be cursed.

"Curds"? What are you saying?

It's a curse.

You sure it's that bad?

Reading fortune sticks is a very complicated science.

I am Mr. Wong, not Mr. Wrong.

If it doesn't come true, come kick my ass next year!

So no matter what, I will

get married this year?

To be an eligible potential bride,

I need to look proper.

Get myself a proper job.

Kum, stocking up condoms?

Kum, I saw your new porn site!

Kum, great costume! Let's do more role-play at your place later tonight.

Forgot to tell you, this is buy-one-get-one-free.

I'm only here to buy lemonade.

It's in the other aisle, Kum!

A bit further.

I thought I was a low-key prostitute.

Turns out, I was red hot.

Due to popular demand, I returned to my "improper" trade.

SEXY KOREAN GIRL

Kum.

Mr. Chow!

You scared me. What are you doing here so late?

It's Chinese Valentine's Day today.

Since we are both lonesome singles, I've come to cook you a good meal.

-Let's have some good family fun together. -Let me help you.

No need, just go take off your clothes. I'll fetch you when I'm done.

Kum.

You're like my soulmate, but fate keeps us apart.

That's quite a presumption. Afraid to be stuck with me?

No, but I don't want to be a burden to you.

"Those who sail together are acquainted for a hundred years.

Those who sleep together are acquainted for a thousand years."

What we've been through in bed practically makes us husband and wife.

Let's drink to that.

You're so strange today.

You served me dinner and read me poetry.

What's up with you?

"A loving man in a loveless world,

how can love be endured?"

Endure what?

Oh, my stomach is feeling funny.

Mr. Chow, you done? Hurry!

Wait!

Must be the shrimp you cooked. Quick!

Use this first. I just took a dump and it stinks inside!

You must be kidding!

Turn on the fan.

I'll crap in the kitchen, don't you come in!

Kum!

You've scared me twice tonight!

-Let's do something kinky tonight. -Like what?

It's a new S&M mask.

Put it on. You look better already.

I feel like an astronaut.

-It's so much fun. -Already too much, Mr. Chow.

I can't hear you.

Let's take turns wearing it.

Wait for me in bed with your eyes shut.

You're really strange tonight.

There's no way.

Can't breathe.

-Still not done yet? -Almost!

You're panting hard, and coughing, too. Perhaps we should stop.

Don't talk, keep going!

Let's take a break, or someone will die.

Let's take a break.

What's that smell?

Something's burning.

What have you done?

You're out of your mind!

Why are you burning charcoal in my house?

What's wrong with you?

Mr. Chow, are you trying to kill yourself?

Why?

I just want to have fun before I die.

You want me to die with you?

No, you won't.

With the mask on, you will be okay.

You're so silly. There's nothing that can't be resolved.

Business at my diner is hitting rock bottom.

I owe people tons of money.

Only death can rid me of my troubles.

I have some savings, I can lend you a bit.

Really? No wonder…

"It's always dark before the sun comes up."

Kum, you're one in a million.

I promise you, I'll never let you down.

I'll make you a business partner. You will become a boss.

A boss?

No one would hire me anyway. This way, I can hire myself.

Yes! I'll help you!

You are so kind.

Are you getting your second wind?

Just to return your favor!

Let's strike while the iron is hot.

Kum.

Mr. Chow.

I'm dying.

Was it good?

NEW SUICIDE VENUE: CHARCOAL GRILLING AT ONE-CHICK BROTHEL

I finally became the boss of Chow's Diner.

Unfortunately, my first customer was SARS.

How dare you shave your legs in public!

But the latest research says that body hair carries the most germs.

Armpits, too? You becoming a woman or what?

Rather be a living woman than a dead man.

Got to wash your hands for 15 seconds.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven…

I'm so very clean!

Not a strand of hair left. I'm Snow-White clean!

I'm silky n' smooth n' creamy like lard

I could have made the best custard tart

So you became a boss, that's cool.

Not really. When SARS hit, the whole economy collapsed.

Many people died, too.

What?

People died?

Yes. SARS was a real killer.

How can people die from SARS?

I've had it several times this year.

One pill can take care of it.

I was talking about 40-odd years ago.

Then you'd say cancer could kill, too.

Of course! Cancer was fatal.

Back then,

everybody went crazy.

Hong Kong is being ravaged by SARS.

Twelve more people died of SARS today.

Five had no complications from any other diseases.

Thirty-one more cases of SARS were diagnosed today.

Antibodies to the virus have still not been found in any human subjects.

One Cathay Pacific flight attendant was diagnosed with SARS.

The death toll continues to rise steadily.

With the addition of the six deaths reported yesterday,

the overall fatality rate has reached 6%.

I've got a customer!

Don't close the shop till I get back.

Four minutes and 48, four minutes and 49,

four minutes and 50, four minutes and 51…

Coming.

No rush, take it easy.

Why aren't you…

I work part-time in the diner downstairs.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Don't you remember me?

Sure, you're one of my regulars!

Scrub your shoes on the mat before you come in.

Better to be safe than sorry.

This way please, and your name?

I am Chan.

-Nice place. -Can I take your temperature?

You don't mind, do you?

Let me take yours too.

I have my own.

Your thermometer is nice.

-Let's just do it ourselves. -Sure.

37.3 degrees Celsius.

I won, 97 degrees Fahrenheit.

We are both fine. Let's take a shower.

With germs everywhere, I'd better shampoo your hair, too.

Take off your glasses.

-Be careful with my eyes. -Of course.

-In the meantime, can we start? -Sure.

-Please scrub my back. -Okay.

-Are you comfy? -Very.

-Do you want a head massage? -Yes… and no!

I can't see clearly with you wearing this.

What do you want to see?

-You left-handed or right-handed? -Right handed.

How about using your left hand to hold the shower head?

What are you doing?

-How come you don't have any hair? -I've shaved it off.

Fatty's chicken is shedding quills

Fatso's dog is barking for a meal

Fatty explodes all the way

She calls the police and makes Fatso pay

You're quite a bathroom singer!

I sing in public toilets too. Got quite a reputation for that!

Really? Keep singing.

Fatty's chicken is shedding quills

Fatso's dog is barking for a meal

Fatty explodes all the way

She calls the police and makes Fatso pay

Don't just watch me, bathe me.

Let me scrub you down there then.

Can you use the side with sponge?

-Feel better now? -Much better.

-Come here. -What's the plastic wrap for?

-Who knows if sweat transmits SARS? -True.

-It's much safer this way, right? -Right.

-You can even lose weight. -Quite right.

-Let's switch sides. -Why?

Why don't you stand there and I'll wrap myself towards you.

With the wrap and the anti-SARS soup, we'll be safe to have sex.

Soup? I haven't had soup in a long time, my dear wife.

So you are into "husband and wife"?

Why not wrap it down there, too, honey?

Be careful.

Don't break it, though.

-Enough? -You need a lot of wrapping there.

-It's too tight! -I'll loosen it up.

Better?

How come…

I don't see any hair here?

How come you are hairless?

What's wrong?

I'm really tired. Can I rest for a while?

But I'm ready.

That was quick.

The SARS outbreak at the Amoy Gardens Complex is escalating.

One hundred and eighty-five residents have been infected so far.

The Health Department locked down Block E at 6:00 a.m. today,

imposing a ten-day quarantine to all Block E residents.

-All access to the building is denied. -My wife…

My mother…

Amoy is quarantined! How can I go home?

-Home? -I live in Amoy Gardens Block E!

Amoy Block E? Why didn't you tell me earlier?

What are you doing in my bathroom?

Gotta look for hair.

Don't ruin my bathroom! Come out!

Come out!

What happened to your body hair?

Let's make a deal. I'll take you as a regular after you're cured.

If I can't see it, perhaps I can taste it!

Where can I find body hair?

Don't crap in my toilet! You'll transmit your SARS virus!

Don't give me any SARS crap!

Come on out!

This isn't body hair!

Help! Someone's crapping!

Hey!

Help!

I need some time to think about how to rescue my mom!

How about $500 a day for room and board without sex!

Let me stay, I know you're very kind…

I had slept with him already.

If he was indeed a carrier, it wouldn't help even if I threw him out now.

Above all, he's paying more than what the diner can earn.

Deal!

Black bean ribs on rice to go, please.

You want the soup of the day as well?

We have anti-SARS pig lung soup today.

I'll have iced tea.

Okay.

Black bean ribs on rice,

and iced tea to go!

Thank you.

That's the doctor who took care of Granny last year.

You recognize him with the mask on?

It's him! His hospital is now a SARS ward.

Let's go!

Keep the change.

Sorry, I'll wait outside.

Bloody hell, now I have to sterilize the whole place all over again.

I'm sorry to have troubled you.

No, not at all.

Doc, do you live nearby? How come I've never seen you?

Well, I can't return home these days and I've rented a place around here to crash.

I saw you guys on TV.

You guys don't go home for fear of infecting your family.

There's no one left inside, come eat inside.

-Come. -I'd rather not trouble your staff.

Come…

-You chicken shit! -I don't want to die.

I believe that the disease can only be transmitted by droplets.

Thank you.

I'll have soup ready for you tomorrow too.

Cold drinks kind of weaken your lungs.

If you're making soup with pig's lungs, make sure it's clean and fully cooked.

How about cleaning it with diluted bleach.

Bye.

Bye.

He has pretty eyes. Wonder if he has buck teeth.

Get me pig's lungs tomorrow!

What's this, aches all over?

Am I infected?

CITRUS DRINK-VITAMIN C

Perhaps some vitamin C can suppress it.

Give me your wallet!

Give me money!

Nah. Let's try being a hero.

One, two, three!

We're living on different sides of the world.

You live your own life, and I live mine.

If we ever run into each other on the street one day,

we might nod to one another

and then, fall speechless.

Because I might no longer recognize you.

All I have in my mind at this moment is…

that I miss you.

Who made me fall in love so deeply

Made me as gentle as clear water

Offered me tranquility

Freed me from my constraints

Reminded me of my innocent dreams

Redeemed my heart and soul

And let me fall asleep in peace

What are you doing?

Why did you rub my armpit with brandy?

Brandy can boost your hair growth.

Let's wait and see.

You pervert!

I'm dying here, and you're putting a nail in my coffin?

Give me a break! Go find yourself a hairy chick.

You're sick?

I am dying!

I could have SARS.

Don't die, honey.

Don't leave me!

I have an idea!

Wait for me, I will be back soon!

Get in! Keep quiet!

Kum! You keep quiet!

-What is it? -Kum.

What are you doing?

I've brought you Hong Kong's best SARS doctor, Dr. Man Ko!

Why cover his head with a plastic bag?

Not just one! Here's another one!

Take it off!

And one more from the convenience store!

Let me take it off.

You're not the Dr. Ko I saw on TV. Dr. Ko ain't handsome.

I'm Dr. Ko, W. Man, not Ko, F. Man.

But it says Ko, F. Man on your clinic door!

It says Ko, W. Man!

F for "Forever Man," W for "Water Man!"

What are you doing? Pardon me, excuse me.

Hurry up and let him go, you troublemaker!

What, wait!

Can't you see she is sick? You're a doctor! Help her!

-No. -Get into the room. Go diagnose her!

Excellent! Lots of ear wax.

Lots of eye crust.

Lots of snot, too.

Turn over.

Hold still, let me feel the stomach.

-Got any diarrhea? -No.

-Constipation? -No.

-Smelled your own stool? -Of course not!

Smelled others?

You're nuts! I've never!

Tasted your own stool?

Hell, no!

Tasted others?

You think I'm crazy? Of course I haven't!

Hold. Good girl!

Hold her.

I'm going to take her temperature.

Why do you have to stick it there?

Why are you blowing into my ass?

I have to blow your hair out of the way.

But she's hairless.

Is this a prank or what? Are you two in on this together?

-Are you really a doctor? -Of course I am.

-Where did you go to school? -Hong Kong University!

I have a PhD! I am a veterinarian!

You mean vegetarian?

Veterinarian, not vegetarian!

-What is that? -Animal doctor, stupid!

Who's stupid?

Yet, I'm still a doctor. I can identify a common cold.

She didn't cough throughout the examination.

It isn't SARS, just a cold.

Your gun looks exactly like a dummy.

But your love for your wife is so very real.

Good!

Happy Diner.

Pork chop on rice and the soup of the day to go please.

Doctor Mask?

-I'll wait outside. -Okey-doke!

Pork chop on rice!

Extra pork chops and an extra-large soup!

Please sit.

Here's the soup. I cleaned the pig lungs very well.

I cooked it with bleach!

Just kidding, but it's extremely cooked.

Come, have a seat.

-Thanks. -Have some soup.

You guys must be exhausted.

It's been very tense for all of us at the hospital.

It's like we are going to snap anytime.

I used to be a masseuse.

Let me give you a back rub.

It will loosen you up.

No need.

Boss! Pork chop on rice.

So fast? You sure it's cooked?

Is it hot enough?

It's microwaved.

I'll give you a massage next time then.

My wife… used to give me massages once in a while.

But you don't see her lately.

You've got to release your stress.

A good meal will do just that.

Okay.

I forgot to pay you last time.

-How much? -No need.

My treat.

My compliment for the front-line medical workers.

Finish the soup first.

After that, he dropped by almost every night.

I did the talking most of the time.

And he just listened.

I thought we got to know each other really well.

But I'm not sure if the feeling was mutual.

Ouch! That hurts!

What are you doing?

How come your hair still hasn't grown?

Pervert! You've almost torn off my skin!

That's impossible.

Let me see.

You bloody pervert!

Honey.

Let go! I don't want to go down with you!

Don't go! I'll find work! Please don't leave me!

I used to do this before I married you.

If I can do it, what do you care?

Just wait a little, we will be okay soon.

I doubt if the loan sharks will wait for you.

-Let go! -Don't go!

Don't…

Don't what?

Don't be a prostitute!

But I do that for a living.

No husband would want his wife to be a prostitute.

I can't lose you, please.

Did your wife become a prostitute?

Honey!

We've gone through so much to be together.

Don't you give up now!

Honey…

Her hair?

Honey.

Why did you leave me with only a single strand of hair?

Your wife left you.

She became a prostitute.

And left you a single hair.

What am I saying?

I can't lose you, honey.

He was such a sad soul.

I really wanted to help.

But how? While I was off-air,

a friend and I talked over the issue of vitamin C.

We've come up with the idea that when classes resume,

we can provide a bottle of vitamin C to each student.

The health authority thinks that…

During the epidemic, Radio Cheng inspired movements like "A mask for every citizen,"

"An orange for every senior,"

and "A bottle of vitamin C for every kid."

He also inspired me to find a way to help Chan find his wife.

I, too, started a movement, called "A strand of hair for a bowl of soup."

I placed an ad on the Escort Chicks' website asking my peers to show up.

With a strand of her own body hair in her hand,

any woman would be entitled to a free bowl of soup.

I could have never guessed that so many sisters would turn up

under the scrutiny of the public eye just for a bowl of soup.

Obviously, it was a really difficult time for everyone.

A HAIR FOR A SOUP

-Hey, Grandpa, you're a man! -It says "a hair for a soup"!

I have hair.

Sorry, females only. Tell your wife to come.

I don't have a wife.

Granny, why are you here?

To trade for some soup.

But, Granny, you've got to be in the sex trade to join this queue.

Go home, Granny. Your hair is no good here.

It's taking so long. Is anyone working in there?

I was the first one here and I'm still in the queue.

How much longer do I have to wait?

The soup smells good and it's making my stomach growl.

Do you know her at all?

It's you!

She was here this morning for the soup!

Thank you, any more tomorrow?

No more! We've given out more than 500 servings.

Good thing I thickened the soup with corn flour or it wouldn't last.

Fatty's chicken is shedding quills Fatso's dog is…

Sorry, we are done here.

I'm not here for the soup.

I am the person you're looking for.

We found her! Come in! Hey, is she the one?

Get up, she could be your wife!

He's your husband?

Is he?

Get up.

Is he?

Thank you for all you've done.

I was only trying my luck, but here you are!

How come you always go missing?

He does? Not you?

He has looked for me many times.

But he can't recognize me.

Every time, I send him back to the psychiatric hospital.

And soon, he manages to escape again.

This has been happening repeatedly.

Miss, keep stroking my hair, it feels good.

You can keep these biscuits.

Don't mess around, okay?

Okay.

Miss, keep stroking my hair, it feels good.

Hey.

Perhaps you should trade your handbag for my biscuits.

You can't chew on your handbag.

Forever!

Over there. Hello!

Forever Man, I am back! I've got biscuits!

F. Man is for Forever Man, W. Man is for Water Man.

I graduated from HKU--

-You are a fake! Where did he go? -I have a PhD. A veterinarian.

F. Man is for Forever Man, W. Man is for Water Man.

Where are you hiding him? Tell me!

-I have a PhD. -Say it!

I am a veterinarian.

F. Man is for Forever Man…

Thank you.

The Department of Health announced today

that two private hospital workers have been diagnosed with SARS.

The number of infected medical workers continues to rise every day.

Over 300 cases have been reported so far.

The sudden influx of patients is putting enormous pressure on the medical staff.

Administration is seeking relief from hiring temporary staff…

The first death of a public hospital medical worker

who contracted the disease at work occurred today…

Doctor Mask?

Are you closed?

No, not at all. Let me cook for you.

Give me a few minutes. What would you like?

I'm not hungry.

I just want to release the stress.

Your muscles are so tight.

You sure are stressed out. Been staying up all night?

You should find some time to see your family.

Those medics reported on TV,

they stood by the windows to wave at their family downstairs.

You should try that.

Want me to press harder?

You okay?

What happened?

The Health Department announced no new infections today.

ZERO INFECTION

The accumulative total number of infected remains at 1,755.

Hong Kong finally triumphs after struggling against the epidemic.

WHO officially announced the removal of Hong Kong from the list of infected areas.

Just as the SARS epidemic is dying down,

another infected doctor in the ICU passed away after being admitted a week ago,

adding one more grief to Hong Kong.

The funeral of Doctor M.K. Chau took place at the Hong Kong Funeral Home today.

Nearly a thousand people attended the ceremony…

DOCTOR M.K. CHAU 1966-2003

The July 1st demonstration started at around 3:00 p.m.

Demonstrators were led by several elected democratic representatives.

Giant slogans against the legislation of Article 23 were seen everywhere.

CHIEF EXECUTIVE ACCEPTED SECURITY SECRETARY REGINA IP'S

RESIGNATION TODAY

FINANCIAL SECRETARY ANTONY LEUNG RESIGNS EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

What happened to Hong Kong afterwards?

Now you see why we should keep our memory?

But you know what Hong Kong's people are gifted at?

They're gifted at forgetting.

You don't need those pills, stupid.

Back then, after the SARS epidemic, they invited some soccer players over.

The 11 soccer players deserted Hong Kong right after the match.

But then we got 1.1 billion comrades hopping over.

Come on. Let's have more fun.

I can tell fortunes, too.

I can see that you're going to meet the love of your life.

Her predictions are usually very accurate.

Take my sister, for example…

You've accounted for everything up to October.

What about the marriage prediction from the temple?

Did it deliver or not?

It did.

Right on October 1st, National Day.

But then, I'd rather it hadn't.

Coming.

Hi, boss!

Cousin!

Cousin?

A cousin… How sappy!

The two of us were destined to be nemeses.

Cousin!

Cousin!

You've grown pretty.

What brings you here all of a sudden?

I've just arrived from the mainland.

Can I stay here for one night? No sex.

No way!

We're family…

Since when?

You've never acted like family unless you needed help.

Look, it's raining outside.

Let me in and we can talk later.

You must go when the rain stops.

Nice place you've got here, cousin.

Have you eaten yet?

Yes, I have. I had some veggie dumplings.

I can tell by the cabbage stuck between your teeth.

You should have told me earlier!

Is it still there?

I've been looking for you for some time.

Lucky me, I spotted your webpage on the Internet.

I came especially to see you.

Why bother? You can get a room in a motel or a hooker down the street.

It's been ten years already, cousin. Don't sulk anymore.

See my hand? I'm divorced.

Come on.

Should I congratulate you then?

To tell the truth, I've been quite happy since the divorce.

So why are you here?

I have a business proposition.

What kind of business?

Then I'd have to go all the way back to 1980.

Granny, stop teasing me! 1980?

I don't think you'll finish by evening. Perhaps I should go take a leak now.

I'm afraid I might not remember what to say when you return.

But I really need to pee. Just speak faster then.

That would take at least 45 minutes.

YEAR 1980

Someone get the door!

-Is it Quincy? -Yes it is!

Come in!

Come meet your uncle.

Uncle.

So here you are.

Go put your stuff in Kum's room.

Go on, it's just down there behind the curtains.

Don't touch my cards.

Don't bother me, I'm studying!

Anyone?

I'm changing! Don't come in!

Cousin.

I told you not to come in!

Kum, I'm your cousin, Quincy!

There are two Mahjong games and eight players talking out there.

It's noisy as hell.

Then I spot you through the curtain and see you doing nothing.

So I've come in for refuge.

Hey.

What are you doing?

Uncle told me that I could use the upper bunk.

What? Don't tell me you're living here!

I know, I might cause you inconvenience.

But, hey, blood is thicker than water.

I depend on you to sacrifice just a little--

Enough, you talk as much as my teacher!

Cousin, you're quite an observer.

I've earned an education degree and I was an honor student.

What a coincidence!

I have the honor in school of being…

"Ms. Beautiful."

"Ms. Beautiful"?

I don't think you really know what beauty means.

I'll explain to you later.

Your perfume stinks like shit today!

You stink more!

Wanna order, jailbait?

Bug off, ninja turtle!

Yo, let's get out of here!

But the fishballs here are yummy!

Four orders of fishballs with long, thick noodles.

Long and thick, huh? That will suit you just fine.

Asshole!

It was meant as a compliment!

Hey! Four bowls of fishball noodles!

I'm going to take a leak.

Everyone says fishballs make good money.

Bull.

Perhaps I should try starting my own shop.

-Cousin! -Cousin!

Cousin, you work here?

I am following your example, joining the fishball trade.

But this is a fishball stall, not a fishball parlor!

Is there a difference?

Are you done yet?

Take this.

Cousin, how about getting me a job at your parlor?

They only hire young girls.

Are you saying sexual discrimination still exists in Hong Kong?

You wouldn't understand.

Move over!

Hey, watch where you're going!

You four-eyed chick.

Your skirt's too short to cover the acne on your thighs.

Have you scored an STD or what?

It's you who's scored, cyst-head!

I shouldn't have been polite to you.

Four-eyed, big boob, ugly bitch!

I think the both of you owe her an apology!

I don't think so!

Then you think wrong!

That shows your lack of education,

lack of cultivation, lack of manners,

lack of knowledge, lack of discipline,

lack of parenting--

Hang in there.

You're pretty tough.

To a real man like me, this is very minor pain.

What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger.

You're such a cool guy.

But don't stand up for me again next time I get bullied.

Those boys are brutal.

No way! Blood is thicker than water.

-Love is-- -Enough.

However, if you're feeling a wee bit guilty,

there's one thing you can do.

Do what?

Just guess.

You are such a money-grubber!

Not exactly.

I just want to start a business of my own someday.

A chicken farm for you?

I passed by the market a few days ago.

I noticed that eggs are dirt cheap but chickens are darn expensive.

So I thought, what if I hatch the chicks out of the eggs?

I can raise them and make a big profit selling them!

You are a genius.

RAISING CHICKENS FOR BEGINNERS

Knowledge is fortune. I'm a new immigrant,

but I don't need to be a hick my whole life.

A good career is the most important thing for men.

Depend on no one but yourself! That's where respect comes from.

Cousin, I know you will make it.

Quincy works hard and Quincy eats tart!

Cool! Do it again!

Quincy works hard and Quincy eats tart!

How come I can't copy you?

I'll do it slow, follow me.

Quincy works hard and Quincy eats tart!

Again!

Quincy works hard and Quincy eats tart!

Quincy works hard and Quincy eats tart!

Get out of bed!

Let me sleep a bit more.

No way! You have the college entrance exam today!

Let me sleep. I'll fail it anyway.

There is this saying, "You can only succeed if you try."

You haven't even tried, how do you know you'll fail?

And without failures, how can you ever succeed?

What are you doing?

Helping you change!

Get me my glasses first.

Here, take them.

That was quick!

Get up!

I'm still very sleepy.

Let's go!

I want to pee.

The toilet is that way, go!

Hurry up! It's almost time!

It's almost time! Run faster!

What's up, cousin?

I twisted my ankle.

Let's go home and fix my foot.

No way!

Persist and you'll win!

I will carry you!

But I'm heavy.

Come on!

What is it, cousin?

Oh, no.

I hurt my back.

What are we going to do?

Don't worry about me. Go take your exam.

I don't think I can make it.

-Okay. -Quick!

Just for you, I'll try to get at least one point.

Hurry!

Bye, cousin!

-You didn't twist your ankle, you liar! -See ya!

Keep going!

Okay.

I did it!

Cousin.

Cousin.

Cousin!

Did you watch Phoenix?

Yep! Chow Yun-Fat and Dodo Cheng are in it.

They kissed for an entire minute!

They were drooling all the way!

Darn right! So much saliva!

Let's try it ourselves.

Okay.

One, two, three!

Wash your hands for dinner.

And remember to rinse your mouth, too.

Stop watching. Dinner is ready.

Cousin.

You can't sleep?

What about you?

Why did my dad ask to speak to you in private just now?

Uncle asked me to move out.

It was only one kiss! He doesn't need to do that.

Nah. Uncle said I'd need to pay rent if I continue to stay.

Why is he being such an ass?

Don't worry, I'll help you pay.

That's not necessary, I've been planning to move out anyways.

Why? Where are you moving to?

This guy from my village got me a job in an electronics shop.

I will stay in the attic with him.

You move, I move.

I'll move to Tsim Sha Tsui to be closer to my work.

You've got a new job?

I just turned legal at 18, I'm getting old.

But now I can work full-time as a nightclub hostess to make more money!

-More money? Congratulations! -Thanks.

Well then, remember to visit me when you are free.

Of course I will.

Don't forget.

Take care of yourself.

-You take care too. -You take care.

-Take care. -You take care.

Take me to the Christmas buffet. Take me in your Mercedes.

-No more room! -But I'm so skinny.

No room left, just go!

I can sit on your lap.

-I can manage. -Just go…

But I drank two bottles of brandy, like you told me to.

Here's $200. Go get a meal.

-I even performed kung fu. -Just leave us alone.

Kum, there's really no more room.

-Go away! No seat for you. -Bye!

You promised to take me if I drank two bottles of brandy. Liar!

It's Christmas Eve, where am I supposed to go now?

Bastards. I really want to go to a Christmas buffet!

I even entertained you with Drunken-Fist!

You didn't like it? Impossible!

Let me show you again!

What the hell?

Hey!

Cousin, this way!

Up here!

Cousin!

Come up!

Come up? How?

Watch me fly like Superman!

I'll leave as soon as I'm done with the clean-up.

-Don't stay too late, okay? -Of course.

Are you still drinking?

Stop it, I can't carry you if you are wasted.

Then I will jump down.

Stop talking silly!

Lighten up, it's Christmas Eve!

See that? The lights are beautiful!

So what? I still don't get to go to the Christmas buffet.

And I'm starving.

Forget about the buffet.

I'll tell you some good news. I earned my first bucket of gold!

-Really? -Yes!

A friend and I sold some electronics in China a while ago.

We made 80 grand!

Yeah? I make that in a month.

I know you are good at what you do.

And your job pays well! I would do it too if I could.

But there are times when I really want to quit.

Why quit when the money is so good?

Make as much as you can when you're young.

You talk just like Madam A, so very old-school.

People with insight all talk alike. Take Chairman Deng, for example.

He had this saying,

"It doesn't matter if you're a black chicken or a white chicken.

Make good money and you're the good chicken."

I make good money, but I wasn't invited to the Christmas buffet. That's sad!

Stop whining about the Christmas buffet.

Come here, take a look. See how pretty it is across the harbor?

Look at all the skyscrapers, all the big houses on the Peak.

Hong Kong has everything!

How can a rich, successful person not be happy here?

No, not me. I just want to go back to being a teenager.

I can go to school and also work as a fishball girl. That's fab!

People will always seek to excel.

How much can you make as a fishball girl?

-A club hostess makes a lot more! -That's true!

Come, press this button.

-Which one? -This one!

-I can't see it. -Here!

It's so beautiful! Amazing!

This project took me a fortnight to finish.

Think of it as my Christmas gift to you.

But I didn't get you anything, cousin.

Well, it's your thought of giving that counts.

COUSIN, SEEING THIS WATCH IS LIKE SEEING ME. -KUM

I'm pregnant.

What?

You idiot! I shouldn't be stepping on your back if you're pregnant.

I was hoping you'd save me the cost of an abortion.

-Get yourself together! -Who's the father?

How would I know?

Cousin! Cousin.

Cousin! Here to see me?

Is your shop going out of business?

I'm just planning to cash in everything here and start something big in China.

-You're leaving? -Yes, the sooner the better.

The Mainland is opening up now and there are one billion potential customers there.

If you earn a dollar from each of them, you'll be set for life!

Are you ever coming back here?

Sure, if there's business to do.

Hey, mister, everything here is in mint condition.

Check it out, I'll give you a discount.

This Rolex is not bad, is it real?

-It sure is. I can offer you a good price. -Let me have a look.

But I just gave it to you last month.

See? She can prove that it's real, since she bought it.

You two must be in this together.

Just make me an offer!

Cousin, don't be so sentimental.

It's only a watch. We can always get another one.

Are you okay?

Cousin, are you okay? What's going on?

Cousin, are you all right?

That watch has sentimental value. How can you sell it just like that?

If you like the watch that much, I can sell it back to you.

Fine!

Cousin, don't get mad.

All successful entrepreneurs cut themselves off from their family.

People with big goals will not be hindered by small things.

Don't you agree?

What if you need money badly in the future,

do you sell your wife and kids too?

I won't sell my wife, but I might consider selling the kid.

Even if you sell one, you can always have another one.

Gotta get back to work.

Mister, everything must go, all in mint condition!

Have a look, mister.

Cousin. Kum!

If you want a kid that much, I can give you one.

Sounds good.

Genuine watches imported from Japan.

-Come check them out! -Cousin!

Kum!

My business partner was conspiring against me with the local officials all along.

I was smart to leave before they came after me.

Otherwise, I'd be in jail by now.

Now that you've lost everything, you'll have to start from scratch again.

It's all right, I'm single and I have no burden.

I would be in real trouble if I had a wife and kids.

Maybe your wife would be willing to stand by you.

I don't want to drag others down with me.

And how come you're so careless?

You won't be able to work for months!

Do you know who the father is?

I was told it's a gift from Buddha.

You've got to find yourself a rich guy and hold him responsible.

Actually, I've found this American Chinese named Richard.

He has his own business.

Is he loaded?

That's great.

You can move to the States with the baby.

I'm not going with him. He will take the baby, but I'm staying.

You sure you want to?

It's up to you, the baby is yours anyway.

It's getting late. Check, please!

-Let me take care of the bill. -Again?

Wow, your purse is always full of bills, just like a magic bag!

My purse carries only small fortunes.

Your big fortune is up there.

-How much is it? -$65.80.

-Got change for this? -Sure.

Cousin, next time it's on me.

-Cousin. -Yeah?

Give me your hand.

Come touch the baby.

I wish for you to become a strong and smart kid.

And be nice to your mum, okay?

Say bye-bye.

Bye-bye now, be good.

Get some rest, you look tired.

Bye.

It's unfortunate that today you're poor

You just have to keep going

But some day your pockets will be full

Sooner or later You'll have more than you can lose

Hey, boss!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, boss!

Sorry to keep you waiting, boss.

Here are our finest girls, the best snake-handlers.

Got just the right snake for her to fiddle with!

I'll pick you up at the hotel lobby tomorrow morning at 9:00.

-Okay? -Okay.

-See you tomorrow. -Bye.

Cousin.

Kum!

Come, get out of the rain.

Aren't you staying in the same hotel as your friends?

They're staying at the Regent, I can't afford that.

When I gave you a massage earlier, I noticed you've put on some weight.

And you've become quite a masseuse.

-You're looking good in a suit. -You're looking great too.

Found your second bucket of gold yet?

Fortune comes and goes. I'm still the same old me.

But you guys were just talking about your real estate in Shanghai.

You must be doing well.

I'm only the middle man who earns commission.

Which hotel are you staying at?

Let's go to your place.

You sure no one will get jealous?

You spotted this, right? I got married last year.

Congratulations.

You see, everyone needs a bit of connection doing business in China.

My wife's family is in the military, which is helpful with my business.

I'll take a taxi home myself.

I thought we'd agreed to go to your place.

It's a rare coincidence. Let's catch up.

I can stay to keep you company.

Who needs your company?

I can save on lodging as well.

No kidding? Free sex and accommodation?

Come on, we are family.

Which makes ripping me off an easy task?

It's been over ten years.

Quincy, you really haven't changed a bit.

Cousin!

No sex, only a nightcap. Just for tonight.

We are family. Hey…

Cousin.

Cousin?

Why are you here?

I, Quincy Fung, have been doing just one thing throughout my life.

That is, business.

I have a business proposition.

The only thing you've been doing is to screw me over again and again!

Don't be so bitter. Lying and cheating is in my nature. I con practically everyone.

My dear cousin, all you need is to close this deal

and you'll never have to work again.

Let's get married.

Okay.

I'm for real.

Didn't I say "okay"?

I'd need your ID number.

A169458(2).

Good! And we'll register online first thing tomorrow morning.

-You think I'll bail? -Fine.

Gonna take a shower now. See you tomorrow.

Cousin.

Cousin.

Are you still in the bathroom?

Think it's that easy to get married, silly?

Go get ready for the customers.

Singh?

Kum, are you really closing down your brothel?

"I'm getting married, I quit"?

So is it true or not?

OWNER CELEBRATION PERMANENTLY CLOSED

Morning, Mr. and Mrs. Chan.

-Kum, you retired at last. -Congratulations, boss!

You're so fortunate to be able to get married at such an old age.

I hope you're not closing down this diner as well, are you?

What are you talking about?

Kum, since you're quitting, why don't you pass on your clientele to me?

Who told you I'm quitting?

Your husband, Quincy Fung!

Hello.

You're up?

Are you nuts? Starting this gossip about a marriage?

What do you mean by gossip? It's an announcement!

Didn't you agree last night? We consummated the marriage, remember?

Are you really for real?

Of course I'm for real!

Kum!

Why did you ask me to come up here?

To freeze my ass off?

Remember this rooftop?

No, I don't.

I do.

I also remember that you like fried crab,

roast duck, stinky tofu, fishballs…

It's not like you to blow a fortune, cousin.

We are cous-- I mean, husband and wife.

Tonight, the two of us should wine and dine.

Be honest, Quincy. Why did you come back?

I'll leave now if you don't spit it out.

Marry me.

Nothing can be this perfect.

Yes, it can! Marry me.

What are you screwing me for this time?

When did I ever screw you over in the past 20 years?

-Pardon me? -I've never!

You take advantage of me every time you're back.

-Give me a break. -Kum!

Just bear with me one last time, please.

Okay?

I left home at 19 and came to live with your family.

I made my first bucket of gold on this rooftop.

I've gone through numerous businesses.

Pirating, smuggling, you name it.

I've made fortunes, I've hit rock bottoms.

For business, I was married and divorced.

During my prime, I was busy wining and dining all kinds of Chinese officials.

When Chairmen Deng died, I even got to attend his funeral in the People's Hall.

In my darkest time, I spent 66 days in the Qincheng Prison.

Life is just a dream.

And it's better to not wake up.

Just marry me.

I promise, you'll have no more worries.

What do you say? Is it a deal?

Done! Come on out! Thanks for coming.

Cousin, Hong Kong is so convenient now.

Marriage license officers even make house calls these days.

Can I borrow a pen?

-Where do I sign? -Mr. Quincy Fung, Ms. Kum Yu.

According to the marriage law of Hong Kong,

marriage is an act of voluntary matrimony.

In the absence of a religious ceremony,

signing before me and other witnesses will still certify you as man and wife.

Please sign here.

Hey!

-What are you doing? -What's wrong?

Are you okay? What's taking so long?

I'm thinking of a wedding banquet.

You don't want one?

No. Let's just talk about it tomorrow.

Hurry up, I'm waiting. Let's do it one more time!

Right, 888021.

Transfer confirmed? Okay, thanks.

Why don't you sleep in?

It really doesn't matter whether we throw a banquet or not.

There's something I want to tell you.

Nineteen years ago--

Kum, let's talk that over later. Come sign this for me.

What's this in English? I can't understand any of it.

Just sign it, I'm giving you some money.

You're acting weird, what is it?

Just sign it exactly as in the bank's record.

There. We are now officially divorced.

It's a marriage, not a divorce. Have you slept too much?

It's a divorce now. You've just signed the paper.

What was it?

Divorce paper.

Why are we getting a divorce?

What's this all about, Quincy?

-What's going on? -I'll tell you later.

Tell me what?

That was quick.

It's for me.

Remember, we are already divorced. They shouldn't be able to bother you.

Who are "they"?

-Coming. -Who's that?

-Mr. Quincy Fung? -This is he.

We're from the White Collar Crime Bureau.

Please come with us in regards to a case of commercial fraud.

Okay, just let me pack a little.

-What's going on, Quincy? -It's okay, they're mistaken.

-What fraud? -And this lady is--

My ex-wife. I'm just here to visit her.

What's happening, Quincy?

It's done.

All settled, completely settled.

Go.

I'll go with you.

No. Wait here and prepare dinner for me.

Go.

Go back in, it's fine.

Hey.

You sure you wanna sell all your gold?

I want to get a good lawyer for Quincy.

I've never seen you so depressed before.

Why don't you just pawn your gold to me instead?

No, thanks.

I want you to give Ms. Kum a good price, okay?

Okay.

The prediction you got in the temple was darn accurate.

You really did get married once.

Accurate, my foot! The legal fees are dragging me into bankruptcy.

How much do you have in your account?

After cashing out, should be $3.80.

Stay cool. Money goes, then money comes.

PROCESSING PLEASE WAIT…

BALANCE $9,754,623.85

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven digits.

How come you have over nine million dollars?

Why? You're rich! You have over nine million in your account!

-What's going on? -Hello.

Okay.

Kum!

-Cousin! -Over here!

Sorry, I… Give me a couple of minutes, okay?

No.

Just a couple of minutes, okay?

-Hurry up. -Thanks.

Who are these people?

Hong Kong cops and Mainland cops.

I have to leave for a while.

Where are you going?

Don't worry, I've been cooperative. They'll let me return soon.

Have you got the money?

The nine million…

Lower your voice. Keep it a secret.

And keep it tight.

Did you steal the money? Why did you do that?

I deserve that money.

But I know I won't get off easily.

Why did you ask me to marry you? So you could hide your money?

That's one reason.

And the other?

The other?

Because you're my only family.

I'm not your only family.

You also have a son.

Remember the time when I was pregnant?

I was carrying your child.

You always said that I lied to you. But you are the biggest liar of all.

Let's go.

Cousin.

Listen, find our son.

He can keep you company.

Cousin.

Take this with you, just in case.

You still have the Rolex?

What's wrong with you guys?

Sorry, just a second.

Keep it and give it to our son as gift.

Cousin!

Remember to look for our son!

I'll always love you!

I love you!

Did you meet your son afterwards?

Yeah, I did.

But not in 2003. Let's not talk about it.

You see, having memory is a good thing.

Otherwise, I wouldn't have that much to tell.

I've overcome the worst. How much worse can yours be?

You learn how to appreciate after you've suffered.

Hong Kong history's just the same.

Fireworks.

Why are they having fireworks?

Besides being dumped, you're also dumb.

Today is the 50th anniversary of Hong Kong's handover.

Oh, yeah!

DOCTOR M. K.CHAU 1966-2003

I met my son later on.

Really?

But I didn't tell him who I was.

He has his own life to live.

But I asked someone to give him the watch.

Are you cold, Granny? Put on my scarf.

-Thanks. -You're welcome.

It's windy here.

My grandson should be grown by now.

You have a grandson, too?

I've decided to get Lucy back.

Good.

It doesn't matter how bad she's gonna treat me.

It's worth a memory, right?

Actually, we were supposed to go to the premiere of 2046 tonight.

That movie is finally showing.

It wasn't easy for the director to finish the film.

I think I remember now.

Wonder if old folks like Tony Leung and Faye Wong are attending the premiere.

Can you get me their autographs?

Okay.

By the way, Granny, we've spent the whole day together,

but I don't even know your name.

My last name is Ma, and my first name is…

Grand.

Grand Ma.

What's wrong, Grand Ma?

What did you say?

What are you doing, Grand Ma?

I'm really in a hurry, Grand Ma.

I've really got to go. Please keep the scarf.

Bye, Grand Ma.

Bye!

Bye, Grand Ma!

How can there be such a coincidence?

He happened to ask for my name,

and I happened to get him to call me "Grandma."

If anyone heard about this, they'd probably start calling me a genius!

And I've got the scarf, too.

Dear Hong Kong citizens.

Chief Executive Lau!

I know we all celebrate the 50th anniversary of the handover of Hong Kong.

The success of Hong Kong is not a miracle,

nor is it the result of my personal achievement.

It is the collective effort of all the people of Hong Kong.

Because it is the kind, the honest, and the down-to-earth that are blessed.

The kind and the honest are blessed How can anyone deny…

Hey…

I still know your songs. I wonder when you will release an album again.

Last night, U.S. President Tom Cruise called me to discuss

the re-establishment of the bond

between Hong Kong dollars and US dollars.

I've decided on a new exchange rate,

that is, one Hong Kong dollar to $7.80 US dollars.

No wonder I love you forever.

You were a singer, but you've also made it as a governor.

You are awesome!

Also, the annual yield of Sham Shui Po oil field

has become the third-highest in the world.

The unemployment rate has remained zero for five years in a row.

There is unlimited wealth in our treasury.

That means in the next 20 years, everyone is exempted from taxation.

No kidding? It's so touching!

Thank you, Andy!

Above all, everyone is also entitled to free education,

housing, medical and elderly benefits throughout your life.

In short, as long as you are a citizen of Hong Kong, you are set for life.

It's unbelie-bolo.

I've been your Chief Executive for eight consecutive terms already.

I really, really hope

that all citizens can elect the right successor to my job for the next term.

But until then,

I want to send a gift to all of you.

Please close your eyes.

When you open your eyes again,

you'll be able to see the Hong Kong that is best remembered by you.

LIVE TODAY

IT IS WHERE TOMORROW'S MEMORY BEGINS -KUM