Original subtitles

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Muppet Babies ♪

♪ They make their dreams come true ♪

♪ Muppet Babies ♪

♪ They'll do the same for you ♪

♪ When your world looks kind of weird ♪

♪ And you wish you weren't there ♪

♪ Close your eyes and make believe ♪

♪ That you can be anywhere ♪

♪ Kermit loves adventure, Miss Piggy is a star ♪

♪ Summer loves to paint, and Fozzie's jokes are... ♪

- Wocka wocka! - Hey, that doesn't even rhyme.

- ♪ Animal's on drums, Gonzo's off in a flash ♪

♪ Everybody duck, 'cause I think he's gonna... ♪

- Is everything all right out here?

all: Yes, Miss Nanny.

- ♪ Muppet Babies, they make their dreams come true ♪

♪ Muppet Babies ♪

♪ They'll do the same for you ♪

- What's that say? - I don't know.

I don't have my reading glasses on.

- "Grandpa Camp."

both: Oh. - Yeah, yeah.

- Company march! Left, left.

[indistinct chatter]

- [sighs] - Okay, kids.

How are your cards for Grandparents' Day coming along?

- Great, Miss Nanny.

I drew the time my grandpa took me fishing, see?

Only I had to use purple for the lake.

Someone keeps hogging the blue crayon.

- Well, I needed it to draw me with my grandparents.

- Wow, that's, uh, wonderful, Gonzo!

I think both your cards are very nice.

- Oh, oh, Miss Nanny! Look at my card.

It's me and my Nana and Grandpa

catching snowflakes on our tongues.

- It's beautiful, Summer. - Thanks.

- Your grandparents will love getting this

when they visit the playroom on Grandparents' Day.

- [sad groan] - What about you, Fozzie?

What did you draw on your card? - I don't know what to draw.

My grandma and grandpa live really far away.

I've never met them. all: Aww.

- Oh, sorry, Fozzie. I didn't know.

- Miss Nanny, since I'm done, can I go play outside?

- Sure, Fozzie.

[somber music]

[dejectedly] Wee.

- Poor Fozzie. No grandparents?

- It's an outrage. It's a scandal!

- Actually, Gonzo, a lot of people

aren't lucky enough to know their grandparents.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, not that. My crayon broke.

Muppets: Gonzo!

- What?

♪ ♪

- Yay. - Hey, bear, up here!

- Oh hi, Mr. Statler and Mr. Waldorf.

- Whatcha doin'? - Oh, nothing, really.

- Great!

Then you have time to hear my new joke.

How do you count cows? - I don't know. How?

- With a cow-culator.

[laughter]

- Good one.

Maybe I can tell a cow joke too?

- I don't know. - Can you?

[laughter]

- That's a good one too.

- Fozzie, is there anything I can--

- Hey, how do you make a milkshake?

You give a cow a pogo stick.

Huh? Wocka wocka!

[laughter]

Huh? Huh?

- Wow, Mr. Statler and Mr. Waldorf and Fozzie

sure are having fun... [gasps]

Which gives me a great idea!

You guys, I think I may have found Fozzie some grandparents.

Miss Nanny, could we ask Mr. Statler

and Mr. Waldorf to come over?

- [laughs] Oh, I think I know what you're up to, Kermit.

[doorbell rings]

[Muppets giggling] - Right this way.

- Well, what's the big surprise, Kermit?

- Get ready to meet...

- Your new grandpas!

both: Huh? - Huh?

- Mr. Statler, Mr. Waldorf, how would you feel about

being Fozzie's grandparents for the day?

- Grandparents for me?

- Grandparents? - For him?

- Well, he does know how to tell a good cow joke.

- Eh, why not. Count us in.

- Oh boy!

I never had grandparents before.

Let's do Fozzie and grandpa stuff.

both: Sure. - Uh, but what's grandpa stuff?

- Yeah, we don't know how to be grandpas.

Muppet Babies: You don't? - It's okay, everyone.

We can just teach them how to be grandpas.

We'll have grandpa boot camp!

- That's a great idea! - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

- But none of us are wearing boots.

- [laughs] Fozzie, boot camp is just a place

where you learn how to do something really fast.

- Yeah, we'll teach Mr. Statler and Mr. Waldorf

by showing them all the things

we love to do with our grandparents.

You guys'll be the bestest grandparents in no time.

- You think so? - Sure.

It'll be more fun than skiing down a mountain of guacamole

while wearing a tutu.

- Grandpa Camp start now!

[cavalry charge playing]

[kids cheering]

- I can't go down there. I'll rip my new pants.

- New? Those things are older than you.

[laughter]

Oh look, there's a door. both: Phew.

[militaristic music]

Muppet Babies: ♪ Left, left ♪

♪ Left, right, left ♪

♪ Left, left ♪

♪ Left, right, left ♪

- ♪ I don't know but I've been told ♪

- ♪ A grandpa's worth his weight in gold ♪

- ♪ Mine gives lots of special treats ♪

- ♪ Mine likes cheese that smells like feet ♪

- ♪ Grandpas ♪ both: ♪ Grandpas ♪

- ♪ Grandpas ♪ Muppet Babies: ♪ Stinky feet ♪

all: ♪ We're marching and singing 'bout grandpas ♪

- I didn't know grandpas did so much marching.

- Yeah, I'm more of a sitting around,

eating snacks kind of grandpa.

[laughter]

- ♪ My grandpa's a big old frog ♪

♪ Who sits on a rock singing banjo songs ♪

- ♪ My grandpa, he plays bassoon ♪

♪ And eats dinner at 3:00 in the afternoon ♪

- ♪ Grandpas ♪ Muppet Babies: ♪ Grandpas ♪

- ♪ Grandpas ♪ Muppet Babies: ♪ Grandpas ♪

♪ Teaching you how to be grandpas ♪

- Marchers, halt!

[both panting, wheezing]

- Hey, you got any of those snacks you were talking about?

- Yeah, I got a bag of pretzels here I keep for emergencies.

- So... [both scream]

- You think you have what it takes to be

Fozzie's grandparents?

[unsure muttering]

[loud trumpeting] - Animal not hear you!

Statler and Waldorf: Yes, sir, Muppet Baby, sir!

- Ah, better. - Then let's get started.

I'll show you what I like to do best with my grandparents.

[snaps fingers]

Real grandpas know how to catch snowflakes on their tongues.

You think you got what it takes?

- Why, I haven't caught snowflakes in years!

- I haven't caught snowflakes in, well, ever!

- Just stick with me. We're gonna have a blast.

- How about I have a blast with the grandpas too, huh, Summer?

- Of course, Fozzie!

I want everybody to look for the biggest,

sparkliest snowflake you can find.

Open your mouth and catch!

- All right, let's go.

[all ahh-ing] - [giggling]

Ahh.

- Yay, snowflakes!

- Ahh. Ahh.

- Ahh... [laughs]

- [with mouth open] Wah, hey, I 'ot one.

I 'ot one!

- [gasps] You did?

Oh, show it to me. - 'Ummer, I 'ot one.

Take a 'ook. - Ee 'oo!

- Aww.

- Great job, Grandpas.

- You know, that actually was pretty great.

- So if you two like catching snowflakes,

just wait'll you try catching fish!

[all ooh]

My grandpa and I love fishing.

It's my favorite thing to do with him.

- Hey, Grandpas, I know a good joke about fish.

Wanna hear it? - Sure.

- Who doesn't love a good fish joke?

- Sorry, Fozzie, lots more grandpa training to do.

- But Kermit-- - Don't worry.

There'll be plenty of time for jokes later.

- [groans]

- Everyone, follow me!

[cavalry charge playing]

- Fish!

[indistinct excited chatter] - Okay, fishers.

My grandpa always says to cast your line out

like you're throwing a baseball.

- Hey, that reminds me of a joke.

How do you play fish baseball?

- I don't know. How?

- Three pikes and you're trout!

Wocka wocka!

[laughter]

- He gets it from me, you know.

- Good one, Fozzie, but let's try to pay attention.

[reel clicking]

Now you try.

[reels clicking] [water splashing]

- Ooh! - Nice throw!

- Golf clap. - Good.

Now, you pull just a little tiny bit, and...

Aha! [reels clicking]

- Ooh, hey, I think I got a fish too.

- Attaboy! - Reel 'em in!

[both grunting]

- Uh-oh, this fish is huge.

I think I need some help, grandpas.

- Right. - You got it.

- This might be the biggest fish I've ever caught!

- Hang on to it, boy! - Don't let go now!

- I could use a little help too, grandpas.

- Don't worry, Fozzie, we'll help you.

- Yeah, Kermit needs to borrow the Grandpas for a minute.

- Yeah, I can see that.

[all grunt] - Got him!

- We did it! - Yay!

- I say, well done.

- What about you, Fozzie?

How's it go--oh.

- Too bad it wasn't a contest, huh?

I'd have been a shoe-in. Wocka wocka.

- Hey, I've been looking for that!

- It's moi's turn next, grandpas.

I can't wait to show vous what I like

to do with my grandparents.

- Animal want turn too!

[cavalry charge playing] More Gramp Camp!

[excited chatter] - I'm in if you are.

- [sadly] Great. I can't wait.

- Hey, look. Now it's boot camp.

Whoa!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[disappointed music]

[mellow music]

♪ ♪

[both snoring]

- Aww.

[chimes tinkling]

[snoring continues]

- Boy, I thought I snored loudly.

- I guess all their grandpa training really tired them out,

but at least now they're ready to be Fozzie's grandparents.

- Hey, where is Fozzie?

- [sighs] Oh well.

It was a nice idea.

- Fozzie, what's wrong?

- Aren't you having fun with your grandparents?

- Not really, but it sure looked like you guys were.

all: Huh?

- All I wanted was to spend time with my grandpas,

but they've been so busy having fun with you that

I haven't gotten to do anything with them at all.

- Oh no. He's right.

- We were having so much fun at Grandpa Boot Camp

we forgot why we invited Mr. Statler and Mr. Waldorf

over in the first place.

- To eat Nanny's leftover Bologna Surprise?

- No, to spend time with Fozzie!

- But we made them do all of our favorite

grandparent things with us.

- [gasps] We hogged the grandpas!

Muppet Babies: [gasp] Oh no!

- Fozzie, the rest of the day is your turn with the grandpas.

You do anything you want with them.

- That's easy.

There's one thing me and my new grandpas all like to do.

Oh, but they're asleep.

- No problemo.

[both snoring]

[cavalry charge playing] - [grunts]

What? Huh? Where am I?

- Fozzie time. - Hey, Grandpas.

I was kinda hoping we could

spend a little time together now.

- Sounds good to me. I'm nice and rested.

- What do you wanna do first? Fishing?

Or maybe we could catch a few snowflakes again.

- That's not quite what I had in mind.

[lively music] Heya, heya, heya!

Welcome to the Grampa-ha-ha Funny Joke Show!

[all cheering]

For the first time on stage together,

ladies and gentlemen, Fozzie Bear and his grandpas,

Grandpa Statler and Grandpa Waldorf!

[all cheering]

I'd say this calls for a cow joke.

- Animal love cow jokes.

- Moo doesn't? - [clears throat]

Why did the cow cross the road?

- I don't know. Why?

all: To get to the udder side!

Wocka wocka!

[laughter]

- You stay on your side.

- And you yours.

both: Hmph!

[excited chatter]

- Kick the ball!

[laughs] Soccer!

- Look, my castle's the tallest in the world.

- No, mine is. - Hey.

- What nice castles you're building, kids.

They remind me of the Renaissance Faire

I went to this weekend.

- What's a Renaissance Faire, Miss Nanny?

- It's a festival where grown-ups make believe

they're kings and queens.

- Grown-ups play make believe too?

- They sure do.

And they talk like this:

Forsooth, who want-eth a snack?

- What was soccer called in the Renaissance, Miss Nanny?

- Good question, Gonzo. I'll go look it up for you.

- I bet I know what Renaissance soccer was like.

Who want-eth to play?

Summer and Animal: Yay! - You guys coming?

- Sorry, Gonzo, we're about to start my Renaissance play,

Queen Piggy and her Magically Magic Wand!

Muppet Babies: Ooh.

- Watch it make these graham crackers disappear.

Hocus pocus, carrots and peas,

work some magic for Piggy, please.

[loud gobbling]

See? It works.

- Wow. - Wow.

- The crackers are gone!

- Ooh, who am I gonna be in your play, Piggy?

- Watch as I use my magic wand to turn you into Fozzie-o,

the handsome prince.

- Ah! I feel more handsome already.

- Can I play banjo for the show?

- Oh, I have something even better for my Kermie.

You can be my frog-in-waiting.

- Thanks, Piggy. Wait, what's a frog-in-waiting?

- It means you help Queen Piggy with whatever she needs,

like getting moi some more graham crackers.

- [groans]

[laughter] - Fun!

- Pass-eth the ball hither!

- [grunts] - I got it! I got it!

- Now, the play begins with the queen saying,

[gobbling sounds]

Oh, Fozzie-o, Fozzie-o,

wherefore are thou, Fozzie-o?

- Uh, I'm right here.

- [groans] - Hark!

Here cometh the greatest soccer kick in the Renaissance!

[grunts, shouts]

- Hocus pocus, carrots and--oh!

My wand! - Sorry, Piggy.

- Gonzo, as queen of the play,

I command you to move your soccer game over there.

- Well, if you're queen of the play,

then I'm king of the soccer game,

and I say it stays right here.

- There's only one way to solve this--

frog-in-waiting, bring the royal tape!

- Mm-kay.

- If you will not move your soccer game,

moi will move it for you.

[grunting]

There.

I'll stay on my side,

and you stay on yours.

- You got a deal!

[chimes tinkling] [fanfare music]

- Now I can get back to my play.

- Now I can get back to Renaissance soccer.

Uh, where's the ball?

- Ooh, where-- where's my wand?

both: Uh-oh.

- It seems my magic wand fell into your kingdom.

- Well, I'd be happy to give it back

as soon as you hand over my soccer ball.

- Oh, by all means, King Gonzo,

but why don't you give me mine first?

- Actually, you can give me mine first.

- Mine first! - Mine first!

- Hmph, no deal! - Oh yeah?

Well, I know what we need to get that ball back.

- A foolproof plan? - [scoffs]

No, a water break. Ugh, it's really hot out here.

- Let's take it from the top.

Fozzie-o, oh, Fozzie-o.

Wherefore art thou, Fozzie-o?

- I'm still right here, Piggy.

And how you gonna turn me into a prince

without your magic wand?

- Hmph. Good point.

- Ah, yeah...[sighs] This hits the spot.

- Aha!

Oh, I am so thirsty, Kermie!

Would you mind asking King Gonzo

for a glass of water?

- Why can't you ask him yourself?

- Because I'll be busy sneaking off with my magic wand--

oops, I mean, because vous are my frog-in-waiting, Kermie.

- [groans] Don't remind me.

- Don't worry, Kermit. I'll join you, buddy.

- Oh, okay.

- [clears throat]

- Excuse me, King Gonzo,

our queen royally requested a drink of water.

- Well, I'd love to help, but the pitcher and glasses

are on my si--hey!

- [squeals]

- Trying to distract me, huh, Queen Piggy?

Well, you're not getting your wand back

until I get my soccer ball.

- Oh, we'll see about that.

- Ho-ho-ho, yes, we will... [grumbles]

[playful harpsichord music]

♪ ♪

[reel clicking]

- Uh-oh... [screams]

- [grunting]

Hey, that's not my soccer ball.

That's a-- all: Whoa!

- Bowling ball.

[roundabout creaking]

- Where do you think you're going, shrubbery?

Fozzie and Kermit: Back to our side.

- Wee!

[grunts]

Whoa!

[grunts]

[grumbles]

♪ ♪

all: [panting] Whoa!

[grunts]

- I'd ask you to our side for a glass of water,

but you look a bit tied up.

Gonzo, I've come to make you a royal offer--

mostly because everything else failed.

Moi has decided to give you back your soccer ball if--

- I don't know.

Having the magic wand seems like it would come in handy.

Look what I can do!

Hocus pocus, carrots and peas,

work some magic for Gonzo, please!

[wand bloops] - Hey!

Um...

I'm a sandwich.

- Sandwich! Animal lunch time!

- Wait, but I don't wanna be a sandwich!

Phew. - Summer!

- See? This wand is way too much fun.

- Easy for you to say. You weren't a sandwich.

- Well, what if I give you your ball and

throw in a royal frog-in-waiting?

- Huh? - You've got yourself a deal.

- No deal! I'm tired of royal helping.

Just give me my own royal banjo in my own royal kingdom.

- Me too.

I really didn't like being a sandwich.

Where's the royal tape?

both: Yay!

[grunting]

[fanfare playing]

- [chuckles] This is much better.

♪ Kermit's Kingdom ♪

♪ La, la, la-la, la, la ♪

- You said it. - [clucking]

- [sighs] Okay.

Let's take it from the top.

Oh, Fozzie-o, Fozzie-o.

Wherefore art thou, Fozzie-o?

- Right here, ladies and gentlemen.

Hey, what did one eye say to the other eye?

Don't look now but something between us smells.

Get it? Because your nose smells?

Wocka wocka!

- You are ruining my play!

- If that's how you feel, Piggy, maybe I should go

where my wocka wockas are more appreciated.

- Where's that?

- My own kingdom! [tape screeching]

[fanfare playing]

- Hey, vegetables,

what did the fast tomato say to the slow tomato?

Try and ketchup!

[drum sting]

- I suppose you want your own kingdom too?

- King Animal!

[panting]

[fanfare plays] Drum Kingdom!

[laughs]

Muppet Babies: [excited chatter]

[sigh]

[somber harpsichord music]

- [sighs]

- Aww, these vegetables don't like my jokes.

They never laugh!

- Well, I like your jokes, Fozzie.

- Thanks, Kermit.

I miss the good old days when we all played together.

[both groan sadly]

- Fozzie-o, oh, Fozzie-o.

Wherefore are thou, Fozzie-o?

Oh, right. Fozzie has his own kingdom now.

Kermie, what am I going to--oh.

No Kermie either.

Oh, I miss my friends.

- Oh, this stinks, and all I have is this

royally amazing wand that can do anything.

Wait a second.

If this wand can do anything, it could get my ball back!

Hocus pocus, carrots and peas,

work some magic for Gonzo!

[wand bloops] - Hey!

[gasps]

[soccer ball whooshing]

[thunder booms] - Oh no, what'd I do?

- Gonzo, you didn't say the magic word!

- What's that? - "Please!"

[thunder booms] - Oh, okay.

Hocus pocus, carrots and peas,

work some magic for-- [screams]

Uh-oh. - Huh?

[chaotic drumming] [grunts]

- [screams]

- [screams] My vegetables!

- Uh oh... [screams]

Get that ball! It's messing everything up!

- Don't you dare! [screams]

Our castles! [growls]

Oh, quick, Summer, after the ball!

I can't cross over the line.

- You can if I say you can. Come on!

Fozzie, let us into your kingdom.

We have to stop the ball! - You got it. Come on!

- I'm in too. - Animal help.

- It's in Gonzo's kingdom. Come on!

- Not so fast.

Where do you think you're going?

- We have to stop the ball. It's ruining everything--

- Ah-ah-ah, this is still my kingdom,

and no one is allowed to cross this li--

okay, you can come in. - Thank you.

- But how do we catch the ball? [ball whooshes]

It's moving way too fast to grab it.

- Ugh, what a sticky situation.

- Sticky, like tape!

Fozzie, that's it-- the royal tape!

- Of course.

We don't need it to separate the kingdoms anymore.

We could use it to make a trap to catch the ball.

- Great idea. Let's do it!

[adventurous music]

♪ ♪

Okay, Piggy, show time. - There.

We've rebuilt the castle for our play.

- I hope no one comes and knocks it down again.

[ball whooshes] both: Now!

all: [grunt]

Yay! - We did it!

We caught the ball with the sticky tape!

- Here's your ball back, Gonzo. - [clucking]

- And here's your wand back, Piggy.

- I'm sorry, Gonzo.

There's room on the playground for both my play

and your soccer game.

- I'm sorry too, Piggy.

Hey, maybe we could do a play about soccer.

- There you are, Gonzo.

I found out the answer to your question.

There was soccer in the Renaissance.

They called it, "giuoco del calcio fiorentino."

- Gesundheit. - [laughs] Gonzo.

It's Italian for the Florentine kick game.

- So we can do a Renaissance play about soccer.

- Then what are we waiting for?

Ball-io, oh, Ball-io, wherefore art though, Ball-io?

- Forsooth, it's right here! [grunts]

[all cheering, laughing]

[upbeat music]

- [giggles]

- Wocka wocka!

- [clucks] - [chirps]

[car horn honks]

♪ ♪

- Yay!

♪ ♪

- Yay!

[grunts]

♪ ♪

- Ooh!

♪ ♪